paper was light gold in medieval times
[Music]
oh no tobacco sugar
[Music]
that everything we thought we knew about
the world
might turn out to be completely wrong
[Music]
what do you think it's very nice i've
lost all feeling in my left leg but
aside from that it's very comfortable
has that cachet you'd expect of a newly
qualified solicitor well if i could turn
my head in utter incredulity i would do
so what the hell are you talking about
[Music]
in six days i'll be lyle anderson
qualified solicitor
ah yes
take my word for it that like crossing
the equator qualification as a solicitor
is a rite of passage not to be missed
i'm not gonna get covered in chocolate
or anything am i no that's in scotland
new england's a bit more muted
sir what do you say simon game of
twister or quick clarman's down the
startled duck i might not be around
come on it's going to be lyle's big day
my trial's been called
i'll probably be playing my own game of
twister in the prison showers if i
escape my dad collectors
oh
who's that
mummy's home
beatrice you clever girl i missed you i
missed you so much did you miss me it
hasn't been the same without you because
i missed you missed you so much
here look
after you i'm fine i've already
oh you are sue
my name's her after you
well peter
petra
my rock
[Music]
peter please don't you'll dribble that
look you're making her way stop it she
looks like
who does she look like actually that
would be telling wouldn't it
a second kingdom baby please her you've
had a call from the news agent
well if it's the bill we can pay it next
week
where's gloria
cruising the fields with mr snell
no peter it isn't about the paper bill
mr davis needs legal counsel and he
needs it now well unfortunately i have
to help beatrice with her luggage see uh
yeah and i've got the pram
well then lyle
chop chop off to mr davis
[Music]
i don't care what she's done you can't
go locking children in cupboards but
she's an absolute terrorist she still
haven't brought back the work permit
signed by her parents
inspector wanted to see him nurse was
the only one i didn't have
that's a thousand pound fine which is
less than you'll get for false
imprisonment she's not coming out until
i've got a signed permit we'll never
mind the permit she's been spotted
working before seven in the morning also
illegal now why are you faging
she said it suited her i don't care what
she said the law is there to protect her
and you
now open it
if we can produce the permit you won't
have a problem we'll do this again and
then give by the goodies
i'm very sorry about this don't you
leave me alone
she
she stole a box of crunches
bees
how do you know they've been stolen and
you know they haven't just
buzzed off
right
um
go to the police ted they deal with lost
or stolen property no of course they
won't laugh at you
not much they would
seen half a million bees loitering
around on street corners obtaining honey
with menaces no
and if you do tell ted
peter
i know it's none of my business but i'm
going to be asked by everyone at the wi
who is the father i don't know
and it's none of my business either
and there you go
anything else no i think that's
everything thanks
simon
i never did say thank you
what for
turning up
being there when i needed you thank you
oh well
you know me
yes
which is why it makes it all the more
remarkable
hello
anyone in
oh sorry about that ted miss ladies bees
would you believe so what can i do
i don't think you can actually
everything's done simon carried
everything upstairs
moved some furniture
put together a bit of flat pack
oh
uh well is there anything i can tighten
no no i have got my own allen keys hmm
quite the man of many talents aren't you
oh stop it
stop what
i'm here i'm helping
sick of this whole wounded peter
syndrome
oh sorry
um
peter
and oriole needs you
immediately
shakespeare's causing a storm
i have
the been sun
call forth the mutinous winds
and twix the green sea and the azure
vault set roaring war
[Music]
what's wrong with them
[Music]
oh
thank goodness peter
um
indoors
it's the sprinkler system every time mr
mcavoy practices his lives from the
tempest the whole thing goes off must be
a fault it never did it with 12 tonight
i don't think there's anything to do
with shakespeare aunt sprinklers go off
by detecting heat not rhyming couplets
i'll never be ready for the summer
performance it misses davey was down to
pay miranda but she got drenched in act
three and has gone down with her chill
not that she could pass for a 12 year
old girl anyway you are coming peter
i've put tickets aside oh of course look
surely this system was installed only
six months ago i know i want you to sue
their ass off
oh my dainty ariel
hast thou spirit perform to point the
tempest that i badly to every article
this is the line that usually does it my
brave spirit
who was a firm
so constant that this coil would not
infect his reasons
oh
[Music]
excellent thank you cynthia um could you
put the kettle on
right here you come
to 12.
that's it
mind the step
in your pot very good warm up in line in
the middle of the room if you would
where did you get these i found them in
a pile in the middle of the street what
do you think
sprinkler trouble at all real
maybe you could help with their cases
they're outside that's it in your pot
wonderful now got put you up beds will
be coming later
uh peter
oh beatrice i'm really sorry about this
it won't be for long i've just had a
baby i do need to be able to use the
bathroom i know but let's face it most
of them won't be able to make their way
up the stairs you'll be fine
right everybody this is my sister
beatrice
welcome
right everybody into the sitting room
for tea
and on your way take a label write your
name on it tie it to any part of
yourself and never let it go
[Music]
no mrs thompson your room is the one at
the end of the corridor do you remember
[Music]
sorry
[Music]
what do you mean i can't work because
that's the law and i can get in big
troubles just bring back the pyramid
signed by your dad well i don't have a
dad your mum then she lost it well she
better find her because until she do
you're not doing the paper round i could
have you for locking me in the storeroom
you stole my crunchies
sorry the alarm didn't go off since
halle being in yet
faster
hey wait i'm lyle anderson from kingdom
and kingdom sister keep away from me
[Music]
hang on a minute
you're not in any trouble i just want to
talk to you please leave me alone
[Music]
now anger i just wanna get away from me
[Music]
[Applause]
no need for that
i just need your work permit signed by
your mum then you can do your round
otherwise mr davis will be in very big
trouble
[Music]
this looks a bit young for your mum's
signature
[Music]
well if it's not her mother's signature
then the document's a forgery i suppose
mr davies could argue that he took all
reasonable steps alternatively he could
just sack her
so what should my advice be well since
you're nearly qualified i think you
should decide for yourself didn't you he
could suspend her pending signature
verification
your call entirely
who cares it's just a paper round no it
is not just a paper round a man's
business and reputation are at stake
no matter how weasel-like or
vomit-worthy he may be he has come to us
for a solution
[Music]
is this the room of a breakfast
[Music]
i'll show you
that room through there with prunes and
cereals scrambled eggs very much
good morning straight on through
well you can kiss goodbye to any work
being done the lord only knows what i'm
going to do with them after breakfast
strip poker yes thank you lyle very
amazing
mr snell
i thought you were supposed to be up a
fjord with mrs millington i was done i
contracted the norwalk virus and they
had to airlift me off near bergen never
been sick in my life
oh i am sorry but has gloria oh she's
been
consoled by the chief engineer
i'm not the luckiest in love i'm a mr
kingdom
peter
i really need to talk to you
before the trial
we will we will no that is not a never
truth
sorry mr kingdom
mommy loves you so much
i'm gonna do everything right
i promise
i've got books look
mummy and baby baby and mummy
perfect solo parenting for the
dysfunctional adults see
can you not do that please
lurking
i'm sorry i
finally come to tell me your trial's
been called
i was going to
i don't want to spoil your homecoming
so when were you going to tell me
or were you just going to disappear like
last time
but i'm not looking forward to it
you think you'll go to prison nothing's
highly likely
judges like to make an example of the
professional classes
but that's not my only problem
mrs larton
mrs lawton
i thought you were going to leave us
alone
i am i just need to verify that this is
your mum's signature well it is well can
i speak to her no
don't have to inform you that you're
suspended from doing your paper round
i can't do that i can and i have
but i need the money
then let me speak to your mum she's not
available
well now does your paper round
and why aren't you at
school business
so found the fold replace the broken
sprinklers
call out fees 300 pounds
plus that
no no no no no this is under guarantee
your company installed it there's a
fault you fixed it you bear the cost
yeah buying fixed it
and then what in god's name were you
doing up a ladder for two hours checking
all the sensors there's no phone i fix
nothing
you have to pay the call out fee well
then why'd you keep going off
i don't know
kingdom and kingdom
maybe it's the weather
i'm sorry peter it's mr burkhold he's
got something he shouldn't have in his
room
mr burkholt says he keeps seeing them
coming in through the window
and into that crack
[Music]
i can hear something
[Music]
that was definitely a bee are you sure
aren't real i know a bee when it's just
flown in my ear
hello there we have a severe weather
warning
i think i've found your bees
yeah in a wall
well you'll never guess
yeah at my aunt orioles place
they're not from round hair
best you lock the door and throw away
the key well where are they from then
south america of the south america
killer bees what bees that kill well i
love it hot and humid with them
sprinklers going off and there that's
like the rain forest
slight problem with your room
open your coat
[Music]
you've admitted it
it would be a bit stupid not to i didn't
have a lego land down my trousers
it says here that you're 12
and on your work permit it said 13.
which is it
no you wouldn't give me a job unless i
was 13.
and why do you need to drop so much
is this your first offense
that's one i've been caught for
as you're over the age of 10 the law
says that you're responsible for your
own actions
you do know that shoplifting's wrong
they won't keep me here overnight will
they mr anderson
i shouldn't think so
i will need to speak to more
[Music]
best thing is if you let me explain
whatever
[Music]
mom
i'm back
you'll be okay
yeah uh just wait wait there oh
not social services
no
he's a solicitor
i'm not signing anything
he doesn't want you to
he he's called mr anderson
you offered that
so who looks after your mum though
ah peter oh i don't have to know if
there's such a thing as a national bee
society do you a p peter oh is anybody
wrong about
bedding delivery for aunt or rails
neatly listen i mean sprinklers and
bedding it can't be that complicated
will you shut up about bedding you are
not interested in what happens to me at
all are you
you couldn't care less whether i go to
prison or not
and prison may be the least of my
problems everything that happens here is
is your way or no way you are the most
important person in your world
oh you tolerate me and beatrice but
that's only to make you feel good but
i'm going to go somewhere else to be
patronized
and don't bother contacting me big
brother
i'd rather be in solitary confinement
and by the way
did she tell you
who the father was
i think you might flip when you find out
[Music]
so uh
how's petra
stop pretending peter
you know if he goes to prison he's never
gonna come back here
please ted
guess what
she's 12 not 13 so she can't legally
work anyway and she had a second round
going at truman's news agents
but you know why she's been doing all
this
she is the sole carer of a mum and
younger sister
mum's practically bed bound some
breathing problem all left to
ear oh don't mind me
just thought you might be interested
would you say
that i'm the most important person in my
own world that it's either my way or no
way
absolutely
lyle
do you like me
where's this going
honestly man to man solicitor to almost
qualified solicitor gloves off no holds
bad the naked truth
what sort of person am i
before i tell you
can i have your assurance that this will
in no way jeopardize my employment
oh i'm that good am i
sometimes you can be a bit of a fraud
fraud yeah
when people get too close you like to
push them away
i doubt if anyone knows the real peter
kingdom
on the other hand
i doubt if i have ever met a nicer man
it was a very lucky day that you decided
to join us
lyle
you were just utterly fabulous
what
nothing
[Music]
i'm sorry i had to make a choice peter
between you and simon
he needed something to live up to
i understand
just a bit jealous that's all
i think he's genuinely really frightened
peter
there are some really bad people after
him
if i'd given him the money it'd have
gone long ago
would that have been the right thing to
do
you do know who the father is of course
i do
and and has he seen her does does he
know she exists
not entirely
actually not at all
in fact
he was barely conscious at the time
is that a poodle mrs stewie
it's lovely
we were sailing along
[Music]
hello kingdom kingdom
no i'm afraid simon isn't here at
present
may i know who's paulie
no no there's been no resolution because
the sprinklers are still going off
yes i know what your maintenance men
said but i want them back
my office is like a an octogenarian
refugee camp at the moment
[Music]
[Applause]
i know
thank you
i appreciate it
that's a star anyway
dc yellen is considering giving her a
caution
spoke to the school they had no idea
they said let's home about her absences
but no one had followed it up
also spoke to mrs lawton's doctor
chronic emphysema
well how long has she been caring for
both her mother and her sister
three years
since she was nine
do you know what i was doing when i was
that age
climbing trees and collecting conquers
one indictment
not old enough to do a paper round but
old enough to give a mother morphine and
they know
they just don't do anything about it
you might want to lose the hat
[Music]
oh peter i'm running out of ideas you
hired me as a temporary secretary not as
a redcoat
mr kingdom
when can we go home
you'll be back as soon as we can manage
it i promise certainly before the
tempest
[Applause]
yes last year they did a midsummer
night's dream
this is higginbotham's titania with the
aid of a walking frame it's a triumph of
the imagination
you taught me language and my prophet on
tears i know how to curse
red plague ridge you for learning with
your language so you know the temp is
yeah my caliban's still the talk of
marvel hall comprehensive easy does it
indeed
we don't need your help
we're fine as we are
are you really mrs lawton
i mean i know ellie does you proud but
she has to go to school we've got to
find a way of getting her there
i don't want no one else in
they'll say i can't look after my
children
well the truth is you can't can you
they're the ones looking after you
they'll take them away
they'll split us up
i might as well die
do you have any friends
you used to
what about school
yeah well
i have things to do
i managed to get your sister there on
time that's different
elite listen to me
you have a right to a childhood
you're supposed to go to school and move
people your own age
you've got a right to have your own life
and not be here looking after your mum
all day every day
so if we could make that happen
or if we could get some help in for you
no you listen to me how is taking them
into care the best thing
it's a cop out a quick way for you to
deal with the neglect this family
suffered for years you can't let the
mother's disability disable the whole
family they're not asking for the world
just help
social services looking into it don't
hold your breath ah well i may have
gotten both parts of the disability
living allowance that's over 100 pounds
a week why haven't they applied for all
this before well because they batten
down the hatches no one gives you
anything unless you ask they didn't want
to ask because they were afraid of being
split up
spoken to simon yet
ah i no i have been meaning to hmm busy
with other people's problems
i've got the british beekeeping
association on the phone
i'll call them back
it's over a hundred pounds a week
now i know that doesn't solve everything
thank you
for your help mr anderson
oh
i need to give my bath
of course
i'll go
[Music]
if you still want to run
it's decent of you but no
keep hold of it
i'll take what's coming
thanks mr yellen no it's fine
take as long as you like
just wanted to get a feel
yeah cool
like test drive
exactly
[Music]
no hard feelings missed again
whatever happens
it's down to me
[Music]
feeling better
much
have you ever heard of this what
norfolk young carers club
no you ever had a holiday
no
then i've got something very exciting to
tell you they run an adventure camp in
lowe's stuff for a week and i've got you
both a place on the trip
what about mum well don't worry someone
will come in and look after her whilst
you're away she'll be properly cared for
now
do you know what you're gonna pack yes
yes
ah the man in question
what have i done
nothing
this is cause i called you a fraud isn't
it
you called him a fraud please do we have
to go there
lyle i need to put my house in order
in case i get sent to prison
oh
thank god i thought it was something
awful
not that not that you going to prison
wouldn't
i i'll shut up if simon does go down
he's going to need to dispose of his
partnership in kingdom and kingdom
i'm proposing that you and peter buy it
from me
me
islam you i'd become a junior partner
well laura junior junior partner wow
uh
i obviously it'd be awful because
because you'd be well whilst i'd be and
what i mean yes
yes yes yes well
me
can't tell my mom
well that's the good news
the bad news
oh i don't know how to tell you this
[Music]
oriole wants you to play miranda in the
tempest
come on you look great in a dress
[Music]
not the best way to become a partner i
know but
hey
you're perfect for this place
you're perfect for him
your real balance
now he needs that anyway
well done
thanks
hello mom hello love guess what
guess what's happening next week after
i've qualified
so um
well done yes who told you they were
killer bees what do you mean they're not
no just ordinary honeybees probably
escape from someone's hive oh have they
still at least all the way from that
pipe work temperature for swarms almost
40 degrees
that can play habit with a heating
system
i'll have to set up those sprinklers
so
ted
how long have you been keeping bees
wait last tuesday
oh yes
a week
last tuesday didn't know why i'd bother
to ask
so
you can break out the vimto because
you're all going home
the sprinklers are fixed
thank goodness they're going
no no mr randall nobody's been in touch
with me at all
what
when
are you sure
they've dropped my case i'm not going to
court i'm not going to prison
they've dropped the case
it's the best news ever what did they
say
the cps just pulled the plug it was
something to do with uh my mental state
at the time and they haven't got enough
evidence to prosecute me
i don't know
um can i have my money back now please
that's really good
i'm really pleased
lyle
[Music]
didn't want to be a partner anyway
[Music]
i'm sorry about you're not getting a
partnership i really am but in the end
you know it's better to be a partner
from your own success rather than on the
back of someone else's misery oh you're
right still doesn't make it any easier
though
anyway break a leg
i i feel ridiculous
nonsense most of them got cataracts you
won't even know who you are
when you can tell the old bloke playing
ferdinand i'm not kissing him unless he
puts his teeth in this time
well i'm very pleased for you simon
heaven knows what a good looking boy
like you would have been subjected to
apparently they gang up on you in the
shower pin you up against the wall shall
we find our seats that's a good idea
peter
i can't tell you what a relief it is not
to have it raining indoors any longer i
was convinced it was the curse of the
dentist oh no no no just ted's bees
right
let's hope it doesn't start raining out
here
[Music]
hey master what chair
it's gonna be a long night
[Applause]
awake dear heart awake
thou hast slept well
awake
[Music]
the strangeness of your story had put
heaviness in me
oh bless
he has the legs for a frog
[Music]
of course i know who you are
all right everyone inside undercover
[Music]
you sure we're gonna be all right [\h__\h]
it down don't worry i know these roads
like the back of my hand i'll just get
us home willie as fast as you can
[Music]
come on
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
come on
[Music]
beatrice we're home
oh my god somebody made me some tea
please now
chop chop pile
gotta get out
what's up simon
you're all right no
[Music]
i need my money
i need it now
peter can you can you listen
peter kingdom
oh hello chad yeah i know it's
lyle yes i think i can spare him he'd be
happy to help you out
how are we doing
in all more years that said i have never
flooded it's global warming it's bloody
rain water
how deep is it down
get off the street
get off this street
some of the knights has fought the
bursting okay great we're all in big
trouble
come on
everyone inside now
[Music]
okay
where is it
simon what is this about i have to go
and i have to go now tonight in this
you have no idea what i'm up against
but once in your life will you just
listen to me
i don't have any time the people that
you've met
are nothing to what's out there right
now
but watch out there now
things will come out at the trial that's
why they want me but you're not going on
trial that they don't know that
there's a contract out on me
is that clear enough for you
[Music]
if you ever see this again then then
it's yours have it i mean it's not
really mine anyway
it's dad
dads
what are you talking about there's more
of it in the house this was the only
stash i could find what oh work it out
that's beatrice well how could she know
you have to let me go
[Music]
just
tell her that i love her
always
right
[Music]
you're a good man peter
you're much better man than me
so
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
widespread flooding throughout norfolk
has been worse than forecast emergency
services are stretched to breaking point
as they struggle to cope with the number
of calls power has been cut from most of
the county and there are already reports
of shortages of drinking water there are
fears that looters will take to the
flooded streets adding even more
pressure to the home secretary to issue
a state of emergency
[Music]
oh no
it's all right lyle we'll get you a
better car
i don't want a better car i wanted this
car
all my stock has gone
even my last three barrels of golden
bullet blinder kingdom i'm gonna sue
oh
god
peter it's chaos out here people are
loading
not those boys
wait let's get back here
come back
they've broken into the shops on the
high street
we've got our answer dealing with these
idiots
what are we going to do peter
i don't know
i just we are opening today aren't we
peter
you can't make the water disappear
but we can certainly get started on the
insurance claims
come on lyle there are people waiting
now's your chance
former q
lyle anderson newly qualified solicitor
and soon to be junior partner open for
business it's not been the same with
that oh i missed you all too
oh thank heavens you're back
simon
[Music]
distribute this amongst the most
vulnerable
but i thought this was simon's
[Music]
foreign
silence
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
you