Elfie, this is June Cleaver.
Fine, thank you. Say, by any chance, is the Beaver over at your place?
[Sighs] Been trying to track him down for an hour.
No, he isn't exactly lost, but he got out of dancing school two hours ago.
If he does come by, would you point him this way?
And don't give him anything to eat. Bye.
June, it's only six blocks from the dancing school.
Why does it always take him over an hour to get home?
With the Beaver, a straight line is not always the most enjoyable way home.
[Ward] Beaver.
Where have you been? At dancing school, Daddy.
I know that. Where's your new necktie?
Somebody must have kiped it off me. Now, Son.
Nobody steals a necktie off your neck.
- Then I must have "gots" it someplace. - Gots it?
- He means forgot it. - Oh.
Well, where did you gots it?
- At the power plant. - Power plant?
Yes, when I was helping the men chase the bat.
Oh, I see.
The men at the power plant chased the bat with your necktie?
No, with a broom. It was keen.
Pow! Swish! Pow!
All right, come on. You go on upstairs and wash for dinner.
And don't bother your brother. He's doing his homework.
Gots it? Must he talk like that?
Certainly. Beaver has to maintain his reputation as a character. [Chuckles]
Where have you been? Chasing a bat at the power station.
How big a bat? About as big as an eagle.
You see Harry Nimo's brother at dancing school?
See him? I danced with him.
Hey, don't go putting your junk in my drawer.
When I got out my sweat socks this morning, they were full of raisins.
These are milk bottle caps.
Franklin Milk Company. Got most of them on my way home.
One, two, three, four, five...
What are you gonna do with those, stupid?
Get a thousand, the milk company gives you a bicycle, free.
Oh, where'd you hear a crazy story like that?
A bicycle for a thousand bottle caps.
It's not crazy. Frankie Bennett told me.
He saw it on television on the Happy Harrington show.
Frankie Bennett, from the eighth grade?
Yeah, he said you could have your choice, a red one or a blue one.
16, 17...
[Rooster Crows]
Come on, come on.
[Meows]
Shoo, scat. Go on, get out of here. [Meowing]
Hey, Marge. How do you like this?
The cats are learning to take the tops off now.
We'd really like to help you, but we have a different system here.
Thanks, anyways. Thanks.
[Baby Crying]
Hey, Doc. You got a prescription for my father?
Oh, yes. You're Tom Bennett's boy, aren't you? I have it inside.
Hey, Frankie. Isn't that big Cleaver and little Cleaver?
Yeah, Beaver Cleaver. That kid's a creep.
How'd you like him hanging around yesterday when we were trying to play ball?
Yeah, but you got rid of him real neat.
Telling him that big story if he collected 1,000
Franklin Milk bottle caps, he'd win a bicycle.
You know, the way he took off, I think he believed it.
That kid is a creep.
Hi. Hi.
Ward. Uh-huh?
Can you see any possible use for Franklin Milk bottle caps?
Yeah, to hold the Franklin Milk in the Franklin Milk bottles.
The boys have got a whole dishpan of them
upstairs. They've been collecting them all week.
That's nothing to be alarmed about. In my day, the collecting instinct...
was strong in every American boy worth his salt.
I'm happy to see it has survived television, child psychology...
and the inroads of progressive education.
I think I'm gonna ask them why they're collecting those things.
Oh, no, June. Don't you dare think of such a thing.
You're flying in the face of Dr. Brady.
I quote, "A child's world is his own sacred domain...
and his privacy must at all times be respected."
All right. But we respected it last summer, and they set fire to the attic.
I'm gonna go see about dinner.
May I help you?
We came for the bicycle. We want the red one.
The bicycle?
We've got the thousand bottle caps if you wanna count them.
Well, you boys just have a seat. I'll be right back.
- That's a lady cow. - All cows are ladies.
Boy, she could sure fill a lot of bottles of milk.
Well, boys, now what's all this about a bicycle?
Yes, the one you're giving away in your television contest for 1,000 bottle caps.
We got the thousand bottle caps if you want to count them. We want the red one.
Uh, contest?
Yes, the one you're having on the Happy Harrington television show.
Say, mister, don’t you watch your own program?
Oh, well, of course. Uh, that-that contest.
Uh, you boys just have a seat for a minute, and I'll be right with you.
Uh, get me Cochran over at the warehouse.
Wally. Yeah?
That's a lady secretary.
Here, look at the pictures.
[Buzzes] Cochran, have the bicycles arrived yet?
For the contest.
The one that was announced on the Happy
Harrington show. Don't you watch our own program?
Oh, they haven't arrived yet, huh?
Oh. No, that's all right.
Miss Simms, get me Mr. Crowley in Chicago.
But if it's our bike, why do you get to ride in the seat?
Because you're too small to reach the pedals.
Maybe we should ask the man for a smaller bike.
A smaller bike? I'm too big for a smaller bike.
Don't be so selfish.
Wally. Yeah?
You can ride in the seat.
Don't worry, Beave. I'll ride you all over.
Mr. Baxter, I have Mr. Crowley in Chicago.
Oh, say, Fred. The bicycles haven't arrived,
and the winners are starting to come in.
The contest.
- The Happy Harrington show. - Contest?
Uh, uh, just a minute, Baxter.
Uh, Mr. Higgins. This is Crowley downstairs.
I'm just double-checking on our bicycle contest.
Which one of our divisions is running it?
Why, Mr. Higgins, the one they're running on our Happy Harrington TV show.
What's that? Oh, just a minute, Mr. Higgins.
I, uh, I have it written down here somewhere.
Baxter, what date was that contest announced?
Oh, well, I-I have it right here.
Miss Simms, when was the contest announced?
Just a minute. Boys.
When was the contest announced?
Last Friday's show. Last Friday's show.
[Chuckles] I found it here in my notes, Mr. Higgins.
It was announced on last Friday's show.
Hmm? Oh, no, sir. There's no trouble.
It's just that one of our district managers
got a winner and he became a little rattled.
His bikes haven't come in yet.
What's that? Oh, yes, sir.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Yes, sir.
Well, I've always tried to show initiative.
Yes, sir. I know the company policy.
Certainly.
I'm sorry, Mr. Higgins.
Baxter, why must you bother me with these details?
Don't you have any initiative of your own?
You know the company policy. Never alienate the public.
If you have a winner, get him a bicycle. Buy one.
Replace it when your shipment arrives.
Yes, Fred. Yeah, I should've thought of that.
I'll take care of it right away. Sorry to bother you.
I don't usually like girls. Oh, you don't?
No. But I like you.
You hardly seem like a girl at all.
Well, thank you.
Well, boys, it was just as I recalled.
The contest was announced on last Friday's show.
But unfortunately, the bicycles haven't arrived at our warehouse.
But, boys, it's always been my personal policy not to
alienate the public. So do you know what I'm going to do?
No, sir. No, sir.
Well, I'm going to send Miss Simms with you down to Hank's Bike Shop.
And you can pick out a bicycle and we'll charge it to the company.
Well, thank you very much, sir. Not at all, my boy.
Thank you very much, sir.
Would you like to ride in my wagon?
Well, no, thank you. I'll walk.
[Phone Rings]
Crowley speaking.
Oh, Mr. Higgins.
Huh? Out of my mind?
Well, I don't think so, Mr. Higgins. But if you say...
No contest at all? No announcement on the Happy Harrington show?
But Baxter, he— [Stammering]
Yes? What's that?
Yes, I guess I am, sir.
Get me that idiot Baxter on the phone.
849, 850, 851... [Buzzes] 852, 853, 854...
Baxter speaking. Oh, hello, Fred.
Say, the boys have got the bicycle, and it cost $64...
[Cochran On Phone] There is no contest, you idiot. You told me there was a contest.
What's wrong with you calling up here and saying
it was announced over the Happy Harrington show?
Listen, I don't want any of your excuses.
Look, you settle this the best you can.
I don't know how. But you better not let
this thing get out and embarrass the company.
Oh-Oh, no I wouldn't do that.
Don't worry. I'll handle it. I-I— [Line Clicks]
Miss Simms. Miss Simms!
[Clattering]
Why couldn't we hide the bike in the garage?
I told you. Dad would see it when he put the car away.
Wally. Yeah?
Why didn't we tell Dad about the bike last night?
He wouldn't give us bikes last Christmas 'cause
he said we don't have the responsibility.
But we do got 'sponsibility, don't we?
Yeah, but we gotta prove it.
Wally? Yeah?
How does Dad think we can prove our 'sponsibility with a bike...
if we don't have a bike to prove our 'sponsibility with?
How do I know? That's the way older people think.
Dad's a nice guy, though. Sure, he is.
It's just that he's an older person.
Yeah, I guess he can't help that.
What'd you do with the seat? Oh, the seat.
I figured nobody could steal a bicycle without the seat.
Get the rope.
[Clattering]
What's going on at this hour? You're gonna wake up your father.
We were just messing around, Mom.
Mom, you're just as pretty as Miss Simms. Well, thank you.
Who's Miss Simms? She a s...
Wally, you tell Mom who Miss Simms is.
Well, she's just someone we met, Mom.
Yeah, Mom. She's just someone I met.
See you later, Mom.
We even made our beds.
Hi, men. Hi.
What's new with you guys? Oh, nothing much.
How do you like our new bike, Frankie?
It's kind of all right. Where did you get it?
We won it in the Franklin Milk contest.
- They having a contest? - Sure. The one you told the Beaver about.
You saw it on the Happy Harrington television show.
Are you kidding? I made that up.
Made it up? Sure. Beaver was hanging around. You know how he does.
I just told him that to get rid of him.
Look, Frankie. There's gotta be a contest.
We went down there, they gave us the bike.
What are you trying to do, give me the business?
Nobody gives away bikes for bottle caps.
Cleaver, you're worse than your brother.
You're a creep too.
Baxter, you certainly have your nerve waking me up at
this hour of the morning with such a fantastic story.
Yes, accusing our boys of stealing a bicycle. Why, they're only babies.
Well, then they're pretty clever babies. They
swindled me out of a bicycle like a couple of con men.
Oh, come, now, Mr. Baxter.
You make it sound like those two boys stuck a gun on
your stomach and said, "Your money or your bicycle."
No, they were much cleverer than that.
They came in and said they'd won a bike in a contest our company was having.
Well, is your company having a bicycle contest?
No, we definitely are not having a contest.
Then why did you give them the bicycle?
Well-Well, because they convinced me that we were having a contest.
Mr. Baxter, I know you work for a milk company,
but there are indications of a much stronger beverage here.
Ward, you know, it does sound a little like Wally and the Beaver. Nonsense.
If they had a bike, I'd know about it.
Mr. Baxter, you may have been swindled out of a bicycle, but not by my boys.
Why, in the first place, I don't allow them to have a bike.
And in the second place, if they did have one, I'd be the first one to know about it.
Why, Wally and his brother are the soul of honesty.
Why, those two boys— Yes, Mr. Baxter.
Are you suggesting that we don't know what's going on in our own house?
Mrs. Cleaver, those boys came in with a wagon full of bottle caps.
Bottle caps? Oh, Ward, do you...
Excuse me, Mr. Baxter.
Boys, would you come down here a minute?
What is it, Dad?
Boys, would you bring the bicycle down?
What bicycle, Dad? The one you have in your room.
Yes, Dad.
[Engine Starts]
Sometimes I like Dad an awful lot.
Right now, I don't like him so much.
Gee, Dad. It doesn't seem hardly fair.
Look.
Fellas, let me explain why you couldn't keep the bike.
What difference does it make? It's gone, isn't it?
But it was all a mistake.
There wasn't any contest.
You weren't entitled to a bike.
Boys, we've talked about this before.
A responsible person doesn't take things he hasn't earned.
You have to be worthy of what you get in life.
You have to work for it.
We worked five days getting those bottle caps.
Sure, you did, Beaver. And you feel bad, it's only natural.
But by giving back the bike, you did the right thing.
It's often a lot harder to follow the right way than the wrong way.
Wally, you understand what I'm driving at, don't you?
Yes. You didn't want us to have a bike in the first place.
All right, boys.
June, would you think it was petty of me if I asked you to stop taking Franklin Milk?
I certainly would.
[Chuckles] Well, it was just a thought.
Oh, honey. They'll be all right.
No, I'm sorry, he isn't here right now. I don't know wh...
Oh, just a minute. He just came in.
Well, I got what I went for. I have Chicago on the wire. Mr. Crowley.
Oh, well, I...
Hello? Hello, Fred? I was just gonna call you. You see, I got the bi...
I, uh, just talked to the gang upstairs.
Aw, they're crazy about that contest idea of ours.
Our contest idea?
[Chuckles] Yes, after Higgins thought it over, he reversed himself.
Naturally, I'm gonna give you a lot of the credit.
Now, here's what I want you to do.
Get a photographer and rush us some pictures of the winner as soon as you can.
Oh, we wanna make a big thing of this contest.
Pictures of the winner. Yeah.
Well, thank you. Thank you, Fred, for giving me the credit.
I'll get right on the ball.
Well, there she is.
Good as new. Isn't she a beauty?
Hi, Miss Simms. Hi, Beaver.
Well, I must say, for two boys that have just won a bicycle,
you two don't seem very enthusiastic.
Oh, then there was a contest all the time?
Well, no, not exactly. But I think we could
make it retroactive, sort of pretend there was.
Now, uh, here, you take the bike and we'll get a few pictures.
No.
No? No what?
We don't want the bike. If there wasn't any contest, we didn't earn it.
Yes, we've got 'sponsibility.
Well, now, look, boys. I know you're a little confused,
but why don't we just close our eyes to the
facts and nobody will know the difference?
- Now, what do you say? - I say that's dishonest.
Well, hear, now. Wait a minute. How can you
call me dishonest? I'm giving you the bicycle.
If there wasn't any contest, we didn't earn it and we're not going to take it.
Well, now, look. You've gotta take this.
You're not gonna make a fool out of me again.
You take the bike and let me get some pictures. Come on.
Ow!
Now, what did you do that for?
Well, you better get out of here, or we'll tell our father.
Now, look, fellas, you wouldn't wanna see me
get in trouble with the milk company, would you?
Now, here, take the bicycle, please.
Look, look, boys. If you'll take the bicycle, and let me get a few pictures,
I'll give you $25 out of my own pocket.
Mm-mm. Uh-uh.
I think we'd better be going, Mr. Baxter.
Well, I declare, boys have certainly changed since I was a kid.
Well, that's one consolation. It certainly is.
[Sniffles]
Boys, supper will be ready in a few minutes.
How about running up and changing those shirts?
Gee, Dad. We've only worn them for two days.
Well, I still think it would be nice if we freshened up for supper.
Eating will only get them dirty again.
Boys, the shirts. Okay.
When I grow up, I'm gonna wear a shirt a whole year.
Wally. Yeah?
Why does Dad want us to change our shirts?
I guess he just likes to pick on us.
I'll fix him.
I'll wear the Hawaiian one he doesn't like. [Scoffs]
Wow! Wow, a bike!
"Merry Christmas three months early...
for two real 'sponsible boys."
"Love, Mom and Dad."
Dad. Oh, Dad.
Mom, Dad! Mom, Dad!