[Ward Narrating] Children have a wonderful knack of keeping their world separate from ours.
[No Audible Dialogue] They raise monsters right under our very nose.
[No Audible Sound Effects]
Unknown to us, they send away for everything from shrunken heads to ﬂying saucers.
But occasionally they become involved with something that’s just a little too difficult to hide.
And that’s our story for tonight on Leave It To Beaver.
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow..
And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
Oh, dinner a little late tonight, dear? Patience, Papa. Had to straighten up my dressing table.
Somebody or something tipped over my bottle of hand lotion.
Powder was spilt all over, and my pancake makeup is missing.
Now don't tell me someone's trying to sabotage your natural, heaven—sent beauty.
[Chuckles]
I wonder if the boys could have had anything to do with it.
Boy, that's a beaut.
You think the “cakeup” will hide it? Pancake.
Well, you can't go down to supper looking like that. Get heck for ﬁghting.
Ouch! Will you hold still and shut up?
Gee, Wally, it sure is nice of you to help me out.
Look, I'm only helpin' you 'cause if Dad gets mad at you, he always winds up getting mad at me.
Well, thanks anyways.
Who belted ya?
A kid.
Which kid?
One of the kids. What“ I tell Dad?
I don't know.
Tell him— Tell him you fell down.
Gee, thanks, Wally.
Anyways, that wouldn't 'zactly be a lie.
After I got hit, I did fall down. Ouch!
June, I'm starved. It's all ready, honey. Will you call the boys?
—Will I! Hey, Wally, Beaver! Boys! — [Door Slams]
[Footsteps Running Loudly] June, don't you think you could get 'em shoes with softer soles?
I'll ask around.
Uh, Beaver, turn around.
— Beaver, what's the matter with your eye? — Which eye, Mom?
Uh, Beaver, come here.
Theodore, you have a black eye! Guess so, Mom.
Okay, Beave, where'd you get it?
I fell down. Didn't I fall down, Wally?
Yeah. He fell down, Dad.
Oh. You fell down, did you?
I fell down ﬁghting.
Oh, dear. Maybe I better call a doctor. He might have a concussion.
I don't have a 'cussion. I just have a black eye.
And I wish everybody'd stop pickin' on me. [Chuckles]
Nobody's pickin' on you, Beaver. You go on back and eat your supper.
[Chuckles]
It's all perfectly normal. It's a—just a part of growing up.
[Chuckles]
I guess I must have, uh, had a hundred ﬁghts by the time I was his age.
Well, we'll talk no more about it.
How does the other kid look? [Beaver] Alright.
All right? Well, you—you must've got in a couple of good licks, didn't ya?
No, sir.
You— You mean, you didn't ﬁght back? No, sir.
Well, what did you do? You must've done something.
— I ran away. — You ran away?
Ward,you're frightening him.
Well, it frightens me a little too— a boy running away.
Beaver, go ahead and eat your soup. I don't want to.
[Ward] What’s the matter? I'm gonna be sick.
I think he is. Remember on the roller coaster when he—
Never mind.
— Beaver, you can't be sick. —I think| can.
Beaver, you run along upstairs.
Wally, you go along with him. I'll bring you up trays later.
[Footsteps 0n Stairs]
Did you have a bad day at the ofﬁce today?
Well, no. No, not at all. [Clears Throat]
Oh, there was a little upset over the Thompson deal. They, uh, can't decide who to give it to.
Be either Fred or me. Why don't you ﬁght him for it?
Now, June—
If something's bothering you at the ofﬁce, you certainly shouldn't take it out on the Beaver.
This is a serious problem,June. A boy's got to be able to defend himself.
And I intend to see that Beaver learns.
I just don't like fathers teaching boys to ﬁght.
Dear, all in the world I'm going to do is give the Beaver a few little pointers on how to defend himself.
So if he happens to run into this kid again, he— he can mop up the playground with him.
Do you think it'll be “unswolled” by tomorrow?
I don't know.
Now come on, Beaver. Who hit ya?
I told ya, a kid. I know, but which kid?
If I tell ya, promise you won't tell nobody?
Sure, I promise. Now who was the guy that hit ya?
— He was a girl. —A girl?
Quiet! All right. Who was it?
Do you know Violet Rutherford?
Isn't that the one that did the tap dance in the assembly?
— That's the one. — What a creep.
I sure wish you were allowed to hit girls.
Well, how did it happen? On account of the sign on her back.
You pinned a sign on her back? No.
Then why did she hit ya? I laughed.
Oh.
What did the sign say? “Violet Rutherford drinks gutter water.”
Here we go. Come on. [Strains]
You— You put your thumb in here. That's where I got my hand.
Yeah. Well, uh, okay. Never mind. [Clears Throat]
All right. There we go. Now then, I think that oughta do 'er, huh?
There we are. Now then— Now let's have a little action, Beaver. You're gonna have a lot of fun.
Okay. Now hit early.
Come on. Let 'er go now. Let 'er go!
[Thud]
I don't think I like havin' fun this way.
[June] Ward’ Ward?
What's happened now?
— He forgot to duck, Mom. — Nothing to worry about.
Happens to the best of 'em. [Chuckles]
Well, can he come in for his lunch now, or haven’t you finished knocking him down?
Oh, by the way, Fred's here. Uh—huh. Be right there.
Uh, well, um— [Clears Throat] now, uh, Wally, you'd better run along.
I, uh— I—I wanna talk to the Beaver. All right.
Now, um, Beave, I'm, uh—
I'm gonna give you some pointers about boxing, but I don't want you to use the knowledge promiscuously.
What's that, Dad?
Well, I mean, I— I don't want you to go around pickin' ﬁghts.
But if you should happen to run into this kid again who gave you the black eye the other day,
well, um,you— you're not gonna—
y—you wouldn't wanna let someone push you around twice in a row, now would you?
No, sir. No. Of course not.
So, uh, I don't want you to go looking for trouble, but I don't want you to run away from it either.
A—As a matter of fact, I think, if I were you, I'd, uh—
I'd look up this person who gave you the black eye,
and, uh, I—I'd let 'em know where I stood.
You see, if anyone's gonna get aggressive with you,
you've got to show them you can be just as aggressive as they are.
I know. But this kid— And if someone punches you, you've gotta punch 'em right back.
But this kid— [June] Ward’ Huh? Sure.
0h, Ward’ So— Yeah. All right. I'll be right there.
Now, uh, you just remember What I told you, Beaver. Right?
Right.
Don't get 'gressive with me, Violet Rutherford.
I'm sorry, Fred. Huh!
| see you got a new sofa. Yeah, yeah. June thought we oughta—
Now why didn't you tell me? I could've introduced you to a guy and saved you lots of money.
Well, that's, uh, very nice of you, Fred. I'll certainly call on you the next time.
Oh, the New York brass wanted you to look these over, so I said to myself, “Why don't I drop 'em by?”
Well, thanks a lot for the trouble.
Oh, no trouble at all.
Say, uh, you're not upset about that Thompson deal, are ya? What about the Thompson deal?
You mean they haven't told ya?
Well, they dumped it in my lap. I know you were sort of counting on it, Ward.
Ah, no hard feelings now.
Oh, uh— [Chuckling] no.
No, of course not. None at all.
These things happen in a big company.
Well, as long as there's no resentment. No.
Oh, say, wasn't that your oldest boy I passed on the way in? He's kinda small for 15, isn't he?
Uh, Wally is 13.
Oh. Well, that's the way it goes. Yeah.
Personally, my family's a little more mature.
You know, both of my boys were offered scholarships— football scholarships.
Well, that's, uh, certainly nice. Yeah. And then, of course, you know My youngest is quite a dancer—
but then I suppose you saw that in the paper. No, I didn't.
Oh, you didn't? Got the clipping right here.
Yes, sir. She's gonna be a star someday. Here it is:
“Violet Rutherford scores in amateur theatrical." [Chuckles]
Well, that's certainly nice.
Yeah, it sure is. Uh—
Well, we'll see you around, Ward. Yeah, sure. You bet.
Uh, are you sure there's no hard feelings?
Oh, no. Absolutely not. [Both Laugh]
See you around the salt mine. Yeah, right.
[Exhales]
Violet Rutherford, you do too drink gutter water.
A girl? You mean a girl gave Beaver that black eye?
Yes, Dad. That's why he didn't ﬁght back.
[Sighs]
[Laughing]
[Sniffles, Continues Laughing] A girl.
Beaver, come down here a minute. [Chuckles]
Hey, Beaver— [Chuckles]
If you want the Beaver, he went out about 10 minutes ago. Oh. Well, I'll talk to him later.
Oh, uh, did he say where he was going?
Yes. He went over to Violet Rutherford's house. Oh. [Chuckles]
Now then, Wally, about this girl that—
Violet Rutherford?
Wally, that girl who, uh— who hit the Beaver, uh, it couldn't have been, uh—
[Groans]
And I practically sent him over there to annihilate her.
Well, why didn't you tell me?
You let me go through all those boxing lessons, everything, and you— Why didn't you say something?
Well, I promised. And anyway, |didn't think it was important before.
Well, you could have at least told me it was a girl. You didn't ask me.
Oh, I didn't ask you. You never ask us, Dad. You just tell us.
Well, that's just about enough out of you, young man.
Uh, you better go on upstairs to your room. Go on.
All right.
Where's Wally going? Up to his room.
Where are you going? Out! To Fred Rutherford's.
[Doorbell Chimes]
Oh, I paid your partner for the newspaper last week.
I'm not the paperboy. I'm Beaver Cleaver, and I wanna see Violet Rutherford.
Oh. Uh,just a minute.
Violet?
Hi, Beaver. Hi, Violet.
You got grass on your lawn too. The grass in the back is cement.
Violet— What?
You wanna be 'gressive? ’Gressive?
'Cause if you wanna be 'gressive, I can be just as 'gressive as you can.
I don't know how to play. What's 'gressive?
— That means, “Do you wanna ﬁght?" — No, I don't wanna ﬁght.
Okay. What else do you wanna do?
Uh, I don't know. Let's go spit off the bridge.
Uh—uh. I did that on the way over here.
— Let's go look at the lady in the jiggle belt. — Okay.
[No Audible Sound Effects]
[No Audible Dialogue]
Cleaver, I don't know where that boy of yours could have taken her,
but they must be somewhere in the neighborhood. Just take it easy. They'll show up.
Yes, but in what condition? [Child Imitating War Whooping]
— Cleaver, what's that? — [Whooping Continues]
My gosh, he ’s killing her.
[Child Giggling] All right. That'll be enough—
What are you doing? Scalpin' a settler.
— Can't a guy have any fun? — We're sorry, son. We thought you were two other children.
Mister, let go of my arm.
Oh. Sorry. Have you seen two kids ﬁghting around here?
I don't know. What do they look like?
[Ward] One was a boy, about eight, and the other was a girl
Fightin'? Well, nobody like that's been ﬁghtin' around here.
Well, they must be ﬁghting someplace. Come on.
Who were those guys? I don't know.
But two kids are gonna have a ﬁght. Where?
Where everybody goes to ﬁght: over at Metzger's Field.
Oh, boy! There hasn't been a good ﬁght around here in a long time.
— Hi, Gus. — Mm.
Oh. Hi there, Beaver. | see you brought the missus today.
Gus, you know I'm not married.
Oh, just goin’ steady, huh?
Stop teasin'. You know I'm never gonna get married.
And if| do get married, I'm not gonna get married to a girl.
—I got an idea he'll change his mind about that, eh, sis? —I don't know.
I've known Gus all my life. All our lives.
— Been to any ﬁres this week? — Oh, no.
No, this is the kind of firehouse where the firemen don't go to the ﬁres.
This is a 'ziliary ﬁrehouse. That’s right Auxiliary Company Number7.
That means we help out If all the other companies can't handle the call.
Gus had her out last year. To a ﬁre?
Uh, no, it was another kind of emergency.
Last spring Miller's Pond was backin' up on the highway.
Chief put in a call for me.
Me and Number 7 went down there and pumped it out drier than the “Sahary” Dessert.
Gee, I sure wish I'd been there.
Mm—hmm. Only thing is, I still ain't got the swamp smell outta the cylinders.
Well, Violet, we better be goin'.
Bye, Gus. Bye, Gus. See you tomorrow.
I'll be here. You and the missus drop by anytime. [Chuckles]
[Sighs]
[Ringing]
Hello? Oh, Ward. Where are you?
Oh. With Fred, hmm? Have you found the Beaver and Violet yet?
No, they haven't come back here.
Have you tried the park?
| see. Everywhere, huh?
What?
[Chuckles] Well,just a minute. I'll ask him. You sent him up to his room.
Wally! Wally! [Door Opens]
What is it, Mother? Your father wants to know where you'd go if you were gonna have a ﬁght with a girl.
Gee, Mom, I wouldn't hit a girl.
Ward? He says he wouldn't hit a girl.
All right.
Wally, your father says you better go back up to your room. All right.
Hey, did you hear? Two kids are havin' a ﬁght over at Metzger's Field.
No foolin'. Who told ya? All the kids are talkin' about it.
It's a heck of a ﬁght. Blood and everything. I hear they sent for the cops.
[Slurping] Want another one, Beaver?
No, thanks. I don't wanna spoil my supper.
How much is it? Eighty—eight cents with tax.
Charge it. Charge it?
What’s the name? Mr. Fred Rutherford
Okay.
Hey, that's keen. Where'd you learn that?
From my mother. She does it to Dad all the time.
Let's get some gum on the way out—
[Both Slurping]
and charge it.
Son, have you seen two children ﬁghting? Yeah. But it's all over.
It's all over? Yeah. It was over in Metzger's Field. My brother saw it.
One of the kids' ears was torn off. Ear?
Yeah. It was layin' right there on the ground, and the guy from the ambulance sewed it back on.
Oh, now— now, Fred, you— you know how boys exaggerate.
I don't know about that, but there's been a ﬁght.
I knew you resented the Thompson deal, but I didn't Think you'd take it out on my kid.
I gotta be goin' home pretty soon.
Beaver, you never used to play with me before. How come you came over?
I don't know. I guess I just come over. That's all.
Hey, look.
Looks like you got no teeth.
I know. That's why I always get the black gum.
You know, you look a lot better without teeth.
[Tires Squealing]
There they are. Thank heavens.
—Violet, are you all right? — Hi, Daddy.
Oh, my gosh, her teeth. $800 worth of braces.
— Beaver, did you do this? — Yes, Daddy. I done it to me too.
Huh! It's chewing gum.
Chewing gum?
Violet, you better go in the house.
A w, come on now, Fred Where’s your sense of humor? [Chuck/es]
Cleaver, you made me miss my golf game.
You ran me all over town, chased me half out of my wits and now you wanna know where's my sense of humor?
But, Daddy, we had fun.
Cleaver, I don't think your boy better come around here anymore. Now look here, Fred.
All right, Fred.
Come on, Beaver.
— Bye, Beaver. — Bye, Violet.
[Door 0pens]
Hi, Wally. Oh, hi, Beave.
They were lookin' for ya. They found me.
Did you beat up Violet Rutherford?
No. But Mr. Rutherford hollered at Dad.
What did Dad do? Did he holler at Mr. Rutherford?
No. He took me home.
Oh, uh, boys, uh,you'|l be eating alone tonight. Your mother and I are going out to dinner.
And, uh— [Clears Throat] Wally, you can leave your room now.
— Yes, Dad. — [Beaver] Dad?
Did Mr. Rutherford get 'gressive with you?
Yeah, Beaver, he did. He— He got quite aggressive.
Dad, how come you didn't get 'gressive back at Mr. Rutherford?
— Well— — You told me, if somebody got 'gressive at me, that I should get 'gressive back at them.
Yeah, I know| did, Beaver, but, uh,
well, you see, you're a little boy, and little boys are supposed to defend themselves.
— Aren't grown—ups? — Uh, well, uh, grown—ups have learned to control themselves, Beaver.
Uh, that's why they don't have to ﬁght.
Are little boys supposed to ﬁght?
Yeah. Yeah, |—| guess you could say that, uh,
defending yourself is one of the rules for being a little boy, Beaver.
Well, um, I'm— I'm late now. Uh, you— See you later.
— Wally— — What, Beave?
The rules are a lot easier on grown—ups than they are for little boys.
Sure they are, Beaver. The grown—ups are the ones that make the rules.
Whew.