[Ward Narrating] When you were young, you had all kinds of fiends.
Some were helpful
[No Audible Dialogue]
Some were your playmates.
And there were some very special friends that your parents never even knew about.
And that’s our story tonight on Leave It To Beaver.
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
[Rainfall]
Ward. You know, someday the paper's gonna say fair and warmer and it'll be fair and warmer.
Ward, there's water in the basement.
Yeah, I noticed that earlier this morning.
Well, didn't we just pay $280 so this would never happen again?
Yeah, well, I talked to Mahoney about it. He said it wasn't anything to worry about,
just condensation.
Well, there's an inch and a half Of condensation on the ﬂoor.
Now you better call Mahoney and get him over here.
June, I hate to call anyone out in weather like this.
Why don't you send a cab for him?
All right. Okay, I'll call him. Later, huh?
What are the boys doing, out sailing boats in the gutter?
When we have a basement?
I said I'd call him.
Oh, the boys are upstairs in their room.
Yeah, I guess kids don't sail boats in gutters anymore.
One of the lost arts of childhood.
Wally, wanna get my soldiers out and have a battle?
Nah.
[Dings]
Wanna pretend like we're shipwrecked on a desert island, and we had to watch out for cannibals?
I don't feel like watching out for cannibals.
|wish it would quit raining so we could find something to do.
[Dings]
You wanna trade marbles? [Dings]
Nah, only a goof would trade marbles this time of year. [Dings]
Yeah, I guess so.
[Dings]
Hey, Wally. Look who's cutting across the lawn.
It's Tooey and Eddie.
Boy, are they wet.
Look at that crazy Tooey. He's wearing rubbers.
At least now there will be something to do.
[Knocking]
Well, come in.
Hi, Mrs. Cleaver. My mother told us to come over here and play.
Well, wasn't that thoughtful of her? The boys are upst—
Hey!
Hi, men. Yeah, hi, men.
Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, your hair looks nice.
Thank you, Eddie.
— Where are your rubbers? — I got out without them.
Oh. Hey, Wally.
I thought we could trade marbles. Hey, Tooey, that's a great idea. Come on, let's go upstairs.
But, Wally, you said only goofs—
Oh.
Why do they always have to come to our house?
Because we're so charming and understanding, and we don't have enough character to send them away.
Hey, Tooey, you crook. This realie's got a crack in it.
That's no crack. It's a vein.
That means it's real marble.
What are you talking about?
They don't make marbles out of marble.
Well, what do they make 'em out of?
Glass.
— Do they make steelies out of glass too? — Oh, why don't you dry up?
What are you trying to do?
Hey, you guys, quit it.
[All Grunting, Shouting]
Boys, boys. Can't you be quiet up here?
Beaver started it, Mrs. Cleaver.
Yes, I can see that. Now, come on. Up, up!
Now, look. You're just gonna have to be quiet.
Your father's trying to do some work.
We'll be quiet, Mom. Well,just see that you are.
I wish there was someplace we could mess around in peace.
We could play in my house. But my mom always has a headache.
— Too bad we don't have a clubhouse. — We could play in my garage.
But my father won't let me near his power tools.
We could build a clubhouse in the vacant lot across the street.
Hey, I got a great idea.
— What's that, Eddie? — We could build ourselves a clubhouse.
[Tooey] Hey, that’s a good idea.
— That's a very good idea. — I thought I told you to dry up.
We could have a secret club with a password and everything.
We could just have it for us guys in the eighth grade.
We could have initiation fees and dues and everything.
You know, a buck to get in and 10 cents a week.
We could have an initiation. We'd get to hit a lot of big guys that way, and they can't hit you back.
— Some guys would. — Eddie, could I join your club?
What are you talking about?
This is just for the eighth grade.
Yeah, you'd be hanging around, messing things up anyway.
Couldn't we let him in? He's gonna be in the eighth grade someday.
Yeah, I'll tell you what, Beaver.
We're charging us eighth—grade guys a dollar to get in.
But seeing as you're in the second grade, we're gonna give you a special rate.
We'll let you in the club if you come up with three dollars.
Gee, thanks, Eddie.
It's a lot of money, But I think I can get it.
Boys. Yes, Mrs. Cleaver?
Boys, I'm gonna have some sandwiches for you in a little while.
— Thanks, Mom. — Don't put any mayonnaise on mine, Mrs. Cleaver.
My mom says I'm allergic to it. Well, I'll try to remember that, Eddie.
Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, your hair really does look— You said that, Eddie.
Look, boys, I think you're going to be able to play outside after lunch. The rain seems to be letting up.
Mom, where's Dad? I wanna ask him something.
Boy, we can get started on the clubhouse right after lunch.
Uh, say, maybe we oughta let the Beaver in for a buck. He's actually not so bad.
Look, it was my idea to have the clubhouse...
so I'm gonna say who gets in and who doesn't.
Why do you want three dollars? Sol can join the club that Wally and Eddie and Tooey are building.
Oh, now, look, Beaver. They're big fellas. They're in the eighth grade.
You're just a little guy. You couldn't join their club.
I could if I had three dollars.
Beaver, yesterday, you wanted two dollars for a model airplane.
Tomorrow, it'll be something else.
You see, you haven't learned to stick to one thing yet.
I collected gum wrappers for a whole week once.
Yes, I know, but that's not quite the same thing, Beaver.
For example, did you know that psychologists say children your age...
simply can't concentrate on any one thing...
for longer than, uh, oh, about 40 minutes at most?
Does this mean I don't get the three dollars?
It means, why don't you go and play and the first thing you know...
you'll forget all about the clubhouse, the three dollars and everything.
Okay, Dad.
Oh, looks pretty good, boys. Yeah, Mr. Cleaver.
It's an interesting rooﬂine you have there.
Yeah, well, we're gonna saw it off later, Dad. Oh.
Eddie, give me the big hammer.
Uh, Tooey.
If you choke up on the hammer like that, you can't get much leverage.
If I stand back any further, Mr. Cleaver, I can't see the nail.
Well, doing a great job, boys.
Really on the ball with this clubhouse. Thanks, Mr. Cleaver.
Oh, Wally, I wouldn't leave these tools lying on the wet grass like that. They'll get all rusted.
Oh, it's okay, Dad. They belong to Tooey's father. Oh.
Keep up the good work.
Hey, your dad's all right, Wally. He doesn't stick around.
If my dad knew we were building a clubhouse,
he'd wanna measure everything and cut 'em off with his power tools.
It took him two days once to make a breadboard.
Mom. I thought you were helping with the clubhouse.
I ain't a member. Beaver, you're not a member.
That's right, I ain't not a member.
Mom. Mom, how do people make money?
Well, mostly, they earn it.
Who's got the most money in the whole town?
Well, I really don't know.
What about Mr. Thompson? He owns that big house by the park.
Yes, Mr. Thompson has a great deal of money Where did he get it?
Well, I think his father left it to him when he died.
Oh.
How about Mr. Cartwright? He has that big fence around his grass.
Yes, Mr. Cartwright is rather wealthy.
Where did he get his money? Did somebody “leaved” it to him too?
No, Mr. Cartwright made his as an advertising executive.
Now, honey, why don't you run along and play.
What's advertising?
Well, it's when people pay you to tell other people what you have to sell.
Like a billboard, or ads in the newspaper.
He gets paid for that? Uh-huh.
Run along.
Okay.
Where's the Beaver going? I don't know.
He came in and asked me who the richest man in town was, and then he left.
Well, maybe he plans to marry his daughter.
Hmm? Oh,just dreaming.
This will make a good window.
We'll cut a hole for it later.
Yeah, wipers and everything.
Hey, Wally, where's your kid brother?
How come he's not hanging around bothering us?
I don't know. |haven't seen him since this morning.
I kind of wish he'd come around.
Then we could have the fun Of chasing him off.
You probably scared him off with that stuff about the three dollars.
Excuse me, mister. Huh, what?
Oh, hi, sonny.
Are you in the advertising business?
We||,you might say I am.
Do you make a lot of money?
Never needed much, so I never made much. Make enough to get along.
Could a fella make three dollars carrying that sign? Yeah, / guess you could
Of course ambition was never one of them bad habits I ever picked up.
I walk a little, then I set a little.
Come the end of the day, I start adding it up. [Chuckles]
More setting than there is walking.
But a fella could make three dollars, couldn't he?
Yes, but he'd have to have that ambition habit real bad.
No golf this afternoon?
Well, I thought for one Saturday I'd spend the day here with you.
Oh, the greens haven't dried out yet.
No, not quite.
Honey. Yeah.
Don't you think you might've given the Beaver the money to join Wally's club? Oh, sure, I could have.
But it would've just been another one of those things he'd have forgotten about in half an hour.
Remember when he had to have that football helmet?
I paid six dollars for it. He wore it every place he went for two days, including to bed.
Then he gave it to the milkman in case he had a head—on collision.
Well, I don't know, Ward. The Beaver seemed pretty determined this morning.
June, at their age, their minds bounce from one thing to another like a pinball machine.
Anyway, if we gave them everything they wanted, they'd be bored and we'd be broke.
|don't think the greens have dried out yet.
Say, mister, do you wanna advertise?
Advertise? Uh-huh.
You can have my front for 50 cents, and my back for 75.
I'm sorry, sonny. Our advertising department's in New York.
Well, I guess I'll have an ice-cream bar anyways.
[Jazz Music]
[Jazz Music Continues]
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Clears Throat] What?
Hi, Charlie. Oh, hello, Beaver.
— Were you asleep, Charlie? — Me?
No, no, I was just running over the alarm signals in my mind. What can I do for you?
Charlie, would you like to take old Number7 out with the siren going?
Now, look You know, Beaver, that this is nothing but an auxiliary firehouse.
I doubt if half the people in the town know that we're still here.
— They would if you advertised. — Advertise a fire engine?
Sure. Tell them you're available in case they got a fire.
I'm selling advertising space to join my brother Wally's club.
Well, how much are you charging?
50 cents for my front. 75 cents for my back.
Well, the city council didn't give us no budget for advertising.
But I think I could take it out of the polish money.
We're coming along pretty good, aren't we?
Yeah. When we get the roof on, it'll begin to look like something.
We better get back to work, huh?
Yeah, I suppose so.
You know, building a clubhouse isn't as much fun as I thought it would be.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, Wally, where's that goofy brother of yours?
You don't suppose he's out trying to raise that three dollars.
You can't tell. He believes everything we tell him.
Yeah.
I should've made it five dollars.
Hey, Wally, here comes your father.
Hi, mister. Hi.
Nice bridge you got here. Thanks.
I come and spit off it all the time. It's the best spitting bridge in town.
Do you own the bridge, mister? No. It belongs to the city, kid.
Who owns the city? People, all the people.
I guess I'm a people, huh? Sure.
Then I guess I own a little of the bridge.
Just as much as anybody.
Say, mister, can I borrow some of your paint?
Sure, go ahead, kid.
[No Audible Dialogue]
How was the game? The course never did dry out. I three—putted eight greens.
Why aren't the boys working on their clubhouse?
Well, after the wall collapsed for the third time, they gave it up.
They went over to Tooey's to watch television.
Gave up on their project, huh?
Leaving us with a vacant lot full of old lumber, and a closet full of wet jackets and raincoats.
Well, it's just like I said, they can't keep their minds on anything.
Oh, you didn't say that about Wally. You said that about the Beaver.
He's still out.
I hope he isn't still trying to raise money for that club.
Oh, don't be silly. He's forgotten about that long ago.
I just hope he remembers to come home.
Eight greens.
Well, looks like you done all right.
Huh? Oh, hi.
Yeah, I've got $1.75.
One lady gave me 50 cents just for doing nothing.
How'd you do, mister?
Well, I didn't do so good.
I guess the setting kind of got the best of me.
You mean you didn't make anything?
Practically nothing.
Now I'm just gonna have to go home again empty—handed.
Gee, that's too bad. What's empty—handed?
Broke, son, cold, stone broke.
I don't mind for myself, but...
I keep thinking about my little girl.
You got a little girl?
A darling little girl, with blue eyes.
Her name is Jasmine, just about your age.
Same kind of hair too.
She must be a funny—looking little girl.
No, to her daddy, she's a darling little girl.
Looks just like her mother...
before she went away.
I'm awful sorry. Oh, don't be sorry on my account.
I met her when I was shipping out on the old Mariposa...
one of them dancing girls in Damascus.
Wore little bells around her ankles.
When she walked, she made music.
Stole her right out from under the nose of one of them sultans.
Gee, was there any shootin'?
No, but one of them curved swords cut the heel off one shoe.
She's gone now, and...
all I got left is my little Jasmine.
I hate to see her cry herself to sleep on an empty stomach.
You mean she ain't got nothing to eat?
Nope.
She's gonna look at me with them big, brown eyes...
break her daddy's heart.
I“thunk“ she had blue eyes.
What? Yes, uh, blue in the morning.
But, uh, when it comes around evening...
they get to look like a sunset in Damascus.
Brown. Here.
Oh, no. No, I couldn't take your money, son.
No. Here. I don't need it anymore.
Well, thank you, son.
Now I won't have to hock her mother's little ankle bell.
I found it in the garage.
Well, I guess I was wrong about old Beave, huh?
He must've been disappointed when he came home and found there was no more club.
You know, this reminds me of when I was a kid.
I made 80 cents once charging other kids to look at my grandfather asleep in bed.
Why in the world would anyone want to look at your grandfather sleeping?
He had a beard. Oh.
Oh?
Yeah, you see— Never mind.
What did you do with the money? Same thing Beaver probably did with his.
Blew it all on candy and ice cream.
What? You gave all the money you made to that old guy, Pete?
He told me he needed it for his daughter,Jasmine.
Daughter?
Oh, brother.
Beave, everybody knows that guy. He's a faker.
He just told you that to get a handout.
How could you believe that? Dancing girls and sultans.
I “knowed” it wasn't true.
Well, then why did you give him your money?
Nobody ever told me a story like that afore.