[Ward Narrating] You know, it’s only natural for parents to feel proud of their children.
And there’s nothing so fascinating as your own offspring.
But when another parent raves about his children, it's amazing how you can lose interest.
And that's the way our story begins tonight on Leave It To Beaver.
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
Hey, Mom. What is it now, Wally?
When are we gonna eat? The Beaver and me are getting hungry.
Wally, the Beaver and I are getting hungry.
Yeah, I guess we're all getting hungry.
We're waiting for your father.
I don't know what's holding him up. He was gonna drop Mr. Cornelius off from the office and come right home.
We'll eat as soon as he gets here. Okay.
I sure hope I can hold out.
Of course, I haven't told you about my oldest boy, have I?
Not today.
Oh, uh, Willis. isn't that your wife looking out the window there?
No, no, no, that's the rubber plant in the kitchen. There's no hurry.
Well, of course, with Willis Jr., his teacher says there is no limit to how far he can go.
Oh, but of course, your boy Wally is in the same class. You probably heard all about it.
The other boys always look up to a leader. Hmm.
Yes, I guess they do.
Yeah, well, Willis, I don't wanna keep you.
Oh, that's all right. That's all right. Your boys worried about the test tomorrow, hmm?
Test? Yes, the whole school's taking it.
Don't tell me your lads haven't even mentioned it to you.
Oh, oh, yes. Oh, yeah, of course the test. Yes, certainly.
Yeah, well, I'll, uh, see you in the morning then, Willis.
Of course. You're picking me up. Yeah.
Now, you take last year, my two boys came in first and second.
And then, of course, there's the girl.
Now there's where the family traits really come out.
I remember my grandfather— that's on my mother's side, of course—
Beaver, anything happen in school today?
Angela Valentine said she was gonna get sick in class.
— What happened? - She did.
Well, uh, Wally, anything happen in your class today?
Nothing that good.
Yeah.
Uh, well, is anything special going to happen at school tomorrow?
I don't know.
I don't know either, Dad.
Anything, uh, special, like a— like a test?
Yeah, somebody said something about a test.
I think they're giving it to the whole school
Oh. Well, are you boys prepared?
I guess so. Could I have another cookie, Mom?
Well, how about you, Beaver? Are you prepared?
— Prepared for what? — For the test!
I guess so. Can I be excused?
— Certainly. — Thanks for a nice supper, Mom.
— Thank you. — Thanks for the nice cookies, Mom.
Well, there they go.
Test coming up tomorrow, they're completely unconcerned.
I'll bet you right now Corny Cornelius's kids are home studying like mad.
Oh, Ward, you're just upset because Willis hurt your ego.
Well, he stepped on it a little bit, I'll admit.
But you know, he got me started thinking too.
Now look, our kids make good grades,
but there's no reason why they shouldn't make great grades.
Why, when I was in school, I-I played football, I managed to hold down a job...
and still come up with good enough grades to get a scholarship.
Ward, we all can't be "A" students. Maybe the boys are more like me.
Oh, of course they're not. They—
Uh, well, what I mean, dear, is they've got to learn to apply themselves.
And I'm going to go up there tonight and see that they buckle down to work.
Oh, Ward, don't you think you oughta let them study by themselves?
You upset them so when you try to help them.
Dear, I've learned patience.
Believe me, I've learned patience.
Hey, Wally, are we really gonna have a test tomorrow?
Yeah, I think they're giving it to everybody in school.
How come you're not studying?
Well, they didn't give us any homework. It's not the kind of test you study for.
It's a test in intelligence.
I guess they don't teach intelligence in the second grade.
Intelligence isn't a subject, Beaver. They don't ask you arithmetic and history.
They ask you stuff like— Which is longer a six—foot string or a six—foot board?
Oh.
Well, why would they ask you silly questions like that?
I don't know. I think it's to soften you up for the harder ones.
-Hi, Dad. -Hi.
Well, boys, I thought before you went to bed tonight,
we could sort of prepare for this test together.
Are you gonna take it too, Dad? [Laughs]
You know what I mean, Beaver.
No, I just thought If we all sort of pulled together on this thing,
that we could maybe make a little progress.
Your old dad used to be pretty good with the books, you know.
Now, let's see, Beaver, you made pretty good grades in everything but arithmetic.
— Suppose we start with you. — But, Dad—
Now, never mind, Wally. I'll get to you in a minute. Don't you worry.
— Yes, Dad. — Come on, Beaver.
Let's see now. Um, as I recall,
we had a little trouble with our multiplication tables, didn't we?
So, why don't we run over them first. Okay, boy?
Okay, Dad. Okay.
Two times two? Four.
Three times two? Six.
Four times two? Eight.
Hey, that's fine, Beaver. Fine.
Now then, four times four? Fifteen.
[Laughs]
I guess I kinda threw you a curve there, didn't I?
No, four times four is 16, Beaver.
— Sixteen. — Yeah, now remember that. Fix it in your mind.
Okay, here we go again.
Two times two? Four.
Three times two. Six.
Four times three? Sixteen.
[Chuckles]
—All right, Wally. — Sorry, Dad.
I just thought of something funny that happened in school.
Yeah. Now come on, Beaver.
You know that four times three is 72, don't you? Yes, sir.
Then why did you say 16?
I thought you'd get mad at me.
Wally, have I gotten mad at him? Have I yelled at him?
Not yet, Dad.
Uh, Beaver, I just don't know what you're gonna do tomorrow...
when they ask you what four times four is and you don't know.
They won't ask any arithmetic. Wally says it's a 'telligence test.
[Wally] That's right, Dad. It's one of those I.Q. tests.
They told us not to study. They don't want a lot of junk in our minds.
Oh, I see, an I.Q. test.
Gee, Beaver, I hope I didn't upset you.
— That's okay. —Yeah, well, uh—
Well, if there's nothing to study, I guess that's that.
Uh, just do the best you can.
And don't get upset, or, you know, don't worry about it.
Yeah, well, get a good night's sleep.
[Beaver] Dad? Yeah.
Four times four is 16.
Thank you, Beaver.
Children, while it's true this is a test,
this isn't the kind of a test that's going to affect your marks.
So, since you all have your test papers in front of you,
I want you to print your name in the upper left—hand corner of the page.
Miss Canfield. Yes, Whitey.
Should we print printing or print writing?
Well, I think this time we'll just print printing.
Now, you have exactly 1 5 minutes on the first part of the test.
But if you come to a question you can't answer, don't labor over it. Go right on to the next one.
All right, are we all ready, class?
[All] Yes, Miss Canfield. Then go.
—All right, time's up. —[Sigh Of Relief]
Pass your papers to the front.
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? [All] No, Miss Canfield.
Uh, Charles, would you collect all the papers and take them to Mrs. Rayburn's office.
—Yes, Miss Canfield. — Charles is a new boy, Miss Canfield.
He doesn't know where the principal's office is.
I know where it is, Miss Canfield.
I'm sure you do, Charles.
[Bell Rings]
All right, class dismissed.
Beaver. What?
Remember number 12? Did you pick the apple or the orange for the right answer?
—I picked the apple. — Yeah? How come?
I like apples better.
Oh. What did you pick, Whitey?
I didn't get to that question. I got stuck on the one with the pictures of six houses.
One of them didn't have any chimney.
It wasn't supposed to. That was the problem.
Oh. I guess I shouldn't have "drawed” one in.
[Giggles] Isn't that funny, Beaver?
Uh—uh. I drawed one in too.
Hello? Yes, speaking.
Oh, how are you? Yeah.
The Beaver? He—
He— He did?
Well— Well, certainly. Yeah, we'll be very glad to.
Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you very much.
[Chuckles] Hey,June.
Hey,June, come in here a minute.
What's all the excitement? I'm breading cutlets.
What are cutlets at a time like this? That was Mrs. Rayburn. You know what the Beaver's done?
That little rascal just made the highest mark in the intelligence test in the whole school.
Our Beaver? Our Beaver.
Not only that, he made the second highest mark in the entire history of the test.
That little son of a gun.
He's a real chip Off the old block, huh?
Well, don't you think you oughta give the Beaver a little credit?
You know, he took the test, not you.
Oh, honey, there's glory enough in this for all of us.
What are you doing? I'm going to call that Corny Cornelius.
This'll stop him cold. Oh, no, you don't.
Supper's ready. Look, I gotta get back to my cutlets.
You go up and tell the genius and his brother to wash up for dinner, huh?
All right. [Chuckles]
The little son of a gun.
Ward! Ward, the boys and| are waiting in the car.
We don't wanna be late for our appointment with Mrs. Rayburn.
Yeah, well, I just have to let Willis know I'm not picking him up, dear.
I'll be right with you. All right.
Oh, uh, hello, Willis? Uh, listen, fellow,
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to pick you up this morning.
— Feeling a little under the weather, huh? — Oh, no, no.
No, I have to go over to school to see Mrs. Rayburn.
It's about the intelligence test and Beaver.
[Chuckles] It seems he made the highest mark in the school.
Oh, for his grade, huh?
For the whole school?
Well, why, that's wonderful. [Chuckles]
Yeah, well, I'd better hang up now. My breakfast is getting cold.
What's that?
No, I haven't heard how my boys did yet.
Well, they probably only notified the top group at first.
You'll be hearing about your boys in a few days.
Well, I wouldn't dream of keeping you from your breakfast, Willis.
Go right ahead. Yes, good—bye.
Ward, the boys are gonna be late.
And couldn't you have been a little more subtle?
Dear, you can't be subtle at a time like this.
And particularly not with Corny Cornelius.
Hi, kids. [Scoffs]
What's the matter? We heard what you did, Beaver.
Yeah, you went and got the highest mark in the intelligence test.
What's wrong with that? Nothing. But you were so sneaky about it.
Gee, all I did was take the test. [Larry] You're a sneak, Beaver
Sittin' in class all the time, pretendin' you weren't smart.
And all the time you were running around with that head full of brains.
Gee, I'm awful sorry. I don't know how it happened. [Bell Rings]
Come on. We'd better get to class.
Beat it, Beaver. I gotta get to class too.
Then go by yourself. We don't wanna hang around with no sneaky genius.
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver, we are very proud of Theodore in this school.
And I'm sure you are too.
Well, actually, I wasn't too surprised.
He does have the background for it.
Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Cleaver, it came as quite a surprise to me.
Oh, well, Beaver's a very nice boy, but I've always considered him an average student.
Well, Miss Canfield, your class is large,
and this is your first year Of teaching.
And recognizing this sort of thing does come with experience.
Yes, Mrs. Rayburn. Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver,
Theodore's showing Of such remarkable potential presents quite a problem.
A problem? We 're not equipped to handle the exceptional chi/d
I had a talk with Dr. Wade.
He's the school system psychologist.
And both of us urge you to place Theodore in a special school
Change schools? But he's been so happy here.
And he has his friends and he's particularly fond of Miss Canfield here.
I'm very fond of Beaver too.
Dr. Wade gave me these pamphlets on some excellent schools.
I do hope you'll consider one of these for Theodore.
And I thank you for coming down, and I hope you make the right decision.
Yes, well, thank you .
thank you. Good—bye.
Hey, Beaver, are they really gonna send you to one of these schools? I guess so.
They're taking me out to one of them tomorrow to get reviewed.
Interviewed.
Wally, if I've gotta go, I like this one best.
It's the only one that's got swings in the yard.
Yeah, I noticed the kids were giving you a rough time at recess today.
Yeah. Why'd they do that just because I got a good mark? Whitey gets good marks.
Yeah, but you never have before. I guess they're kinda jealous.
They think you made them look bad on purpose.
Wally, I'm gonna miss the kids at school.
Even that creepy Judy.
I guess I'm gonna miss you too, Wally.
Well, don't worry, Beave. I'll come up and see you on visiting days.
Just like they do at the penitentiary.
Good morning. Good morning.
I'm Dr. Compton. How do you do? I'm Mr. Cleaver.
Dr. Wade called and told me you were coming.
I imagine this is the young man. What's your name, my boy?
— Beaver. — Beaver?
Well, his name's actually Theodore,
but the boys started calling him Beaver because—
It's sort of a nickname. Well, Beaver,
suppose we all sit down and have a talk, hmm?
Dr. Compton, don't you think we oughta let Beaver play outside while we talk this over?
Oh, no, no. That's one of my theories.
Too many educators treat the gifted child...
as if he were suffering from some sort of affliction.
You don't mind if we talk in front of you, do you, young man?
No. Mom and Dad do that at home.
'Scept they spell out the bad words.
This young fella's got quite a sense of humor.
Yeah. [Giggles]
Well, Beaver, this is for you, and you and your wife sit over there.
thank you .
Well, after your tour around, what do you think of our school?
Well, we think it's very nice.
Ain't you got no baseball field?
No. No, we have an excellent gymnasium and a fine swimming pool.
You see, Mr. Cleaver, we don't go in for competitive sports here.
We feel that it arouses the natural antagonisms in a boy
And besides, it's very distracting emotionally.
Oh. Well. I played football myself.
I—I'd always thought that the team play sort of prepared one for life.
I'm sure it's fine for the average child, but we just can't have it with our boys.
Being smart is a lot more complicated than when I was a boy.
It certainly is, Mr. Cleaver
I've been looking over Dr. Wade's letter.
Yes, the boy made a fine showing.
It's an excellent test too. Wonderful way of putting a ruler to a boy's brain.
We're very proud the Beaver did so well on his tests.
We're just trying to make up our minds what to do.
Well, I imagine Theodore's marks have made up your mind for you.
You don't want to jeopardize his future.
Well, that's certainly what we're concerned with.
By the way, have you given any thought to your vocation in life?
Huh?
Dr. Compton wants to know what you'd like to be when you grow up.
Yes. Would you think of being a lawyer or a scientist?
Perhaps a doctor? I don't think so.
Doctors have to wash their hands all the time. Besides that, they smell funny.
I'm sure an intelligent fellow like you has ambitions.
What would you like to be in life?
Well, I thought maybe a garbage collector.
A garbage collector? Now, why a garbage collector?
Well, you don't have to wash your hands all the time, and nobody cares how you smell.
Well, that's an original way of looking at it.
There seems to be some diffusion of thought here,
but I'm sure we can remedy that.
Our main concern is taking him away from his friends in the school where he's been so happy.
Oh, I know the young man's going to like it here. Aren't you, son?
I guess so. Sure wish you had a baseball field though.
Hi, Wally. Hi, Beave.
Hey, how'd you like the new school? Did they interview you?
Yeah, but, Wally, it doesn't look like a school at all.
It looks like the building where we go to the dentist.
Well, did you get to see any of the kids?
Yeah, but I didn't get to talk to any of them.
They took us in a room where I looked at a bunch of them through a glass window.
Well, maybe they were afraid you'd get germs on them or something.
You know, Wally, I don't think I'm gonna like it, being a genius.
[Doorbell Rings]
Well, Miss Canfield, come on in.
Uh, thank you . Uh, Mrs. Cleaver, I hope I'm not disturbing you,
but I would like to talk to you and your husband about something important.
Well, come on in.
Well, hello, Miss Canfield Glad you caught us in.
We've been out looking over schools for the Beaver.
Yes, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
Uh, this is Charles Fredericks. He's a new boy in my class.
How do you do, Charles? How do you do, Mr. Cleaver?
I'm sorry about what I did.
Huh?
Uh, Charles came to me this afternoon with a rather startling confession.
You see, I gave him the test papers to take to Mrs. Rayburn's office.
Uh, well, it seems that he switched the papers,
and he put his name on Beaver's test.
You mean, the Beaver didn't get the high mark?
No, I'm afraid he didn't.
Oh, I know this must be upsetting to both of you.
Well, I—I must say, it comes as something of a shock.
Charles, why would you do a thing like that?
Well, at the school I came from, I always got the best marks in the class,
and the kids were always picking on me.
Why did they pick on you?
I guess 'cause my parents were always coming to the school and making a fuss about it.
Oh.
[Miss Canfield] I hope you can forgive Charles.
His parents almost made him ashamed of being smart.
I can see how that could happen.
Yeah.
Uh, but I'm curious, Charles, why did you pick on the Beaver to change papers with?
Well, everybody likes him.
I thought if I used his paper, they'd like me too.
I see.
Well, now look. Why don't you just go upstairs and play with the Beaver for a while.
— Gee, could I? — Sure you can.
Thanks. Please, Mr. Cleaver,
don't say anything, huh?
Okay, Charlie.
Well, Miss Canfield, I suppose this may sound silly,
but the only feeling I have right now is one of relief.
You know, I just think it's wonderful that there are bright boys like Charles,
but somehow I'd rather have the Beaver just the way he is.
You know, Mrs. Cleaver, so would I.
Yeah, Wally, the test papers were switched.
I didn't get that high mark at all.
Well, I figured all the time there was something about it.
Wally, Dad said I'm not supposed to tell anyone.
But if I don't tell anyone, how are the kids supposed to know I'm not a genius?
Well, why don't you tell them what four times four are? That oughta do it.
Sure, uh, 12.
Well, it's been quite a day, but it looks like we're back to normal.
Why so pensive?
You know, June, I think I've learned something from all this—
to take our kids as they are.
Not wish they were something else or try to make them like ourselves. It doesn't work.
You know, maybe it's just as well that it doesn't.
[Phone Rings] Yeah.
Hello.
Oh, uh, hi, Willis.
Pick you up tomorrow. Sure.
Thanks, Ward. See, Dorothea wouldn't let me have the car the other day,
and it cost me $2.60 in taxi fare.
Oh, by the way, about those intelligence tests,
I don't put too much stock in them.
I mean, my boys finished in the bottom half of the school for the first time.
Can't get over your boy finishing first.
Well, we had a talk with Miss Canfield,
and we're not gonna make a big thing out of the Beaver's standing in the test.
You know, in our family, we sort of take things like that in stride.
Yeah. Well, no, of course I won't forget to pick you up, Willis.
I—Yes, yes, I know $2.60's a lot of money.
All right, good—bye.
Ward, why didn't you tell Willis that that high mark was a mistake?
Oh, I couldn't have done that, June.
You heard me promise Miss Canfield not to breathe it to a soul.