You know what else he said?
He said he could lick you with one hand tied behind his back.
— Eddie said that? — Yeah. You think he can, Wally?
Are you kiddin'? He couldn't lick me on the best day he ever had.
Hey, Beave, Eddie hangs around that new house a lot, doesn't he?
Yeah. He's probably over there right now.
I think I'll go over there. I'd just like to see him say that in front of me.
Come on, Beave.
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow...
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
Well, Beaver, the tailor did a good job on letting your suits out.
Yeah. My ankles hardly show anymore.
I don't know how much longer you're gonna be able to wear these. No more sleeve to let out.
I guess as I get bigger, there's gonna be more of me to let out...
than there will be suit.
I suppose so.
They're in the hall closet, Wally. Well, we're all set. Should be back around 3:00.
If you want the car today, you can have it. Fred Rutherford's picking us up.
Oh, good.
Where you goin', Wally? Dad's gonna play golf. I'm gonna caddie for him.
Gee, can't I go along? I'd like to do that.
What's a caddie? I carry his clubs around the course for him.
Then look for the ball when he knocks it under rocks and behind trees and stuff.
Couldn't I do that too? Well, you’re too close to the ground Beaver
If you carried the bag, the bag would drag.
[Chuckles]
Anyway, you're too young, Beaver. They don't allow boys under 12 on the golf course.
Oh.
When you're under 12 you can hardly do anything except brush your teeth and go to bed.
I'll tell you what. Maybe next weekend we can all go fishing.
[Car Horn Honking]
That's Mr. Rutherford. Come on, Wally.
I'll see you, Beave. Hey, I'll bring you home some of the golf balls Dad wrecks.
Bring some for me too, Wally. [Clears Throat]
Uh, Wally. Mr. Rutherford's waiting.
Have a good game.
Well, Beaver, what do you got planned for today?
Well, Larry Mondello's comin' over.
What are you gonna do?
We might do somethin', or we might not do somethin'.
We'll see when he gets here.
Well, I have to go grocery shopping.
Before you start playing or go out of the house, I want you to take your good clothes off.
Okay, Mom. Oh. Here.
Hang this in the closet for me, will you? Yes, Mom.
Oh, Beaver!
I don't want you playing over there where they're building that new house.
Your father says it's too dangerous. All right, Mom.
I'll put these in the wash.
Beaver! I'll leave your clean jeans here on the railing.
Okay, Mom! What are you doing?
Just sittin'.
I don’t want you sitting around in your good suit.
Okay, Mom. I won't sit around in my good suit.
I'm gonna go grocery shopping now. Have a good time.
Bye!
Hey, Beaver! Beaver!
I’ll be right down, Larry.
[Footsteps]
Hi, Larry. Hi.
— I didn't know you had an uncle in Florida, Beaver. — Oh, sure.
He's my elk's tooth uncle.
Hey, Beaver, look what I got.
Gosh, look at all that money.
But there are no pictures on it.
I got 'em over where they're building that new house.
The electricians throw 'em away.
[Slugs jingling]
You wanna go over and get some more? Then we can both sound like we're rich.
No. I'm not supposed to go over there.
Anyway, I got my good pants on.
Beaver, if we don't go right over, some other guys'll find them and there won't be any left.
But I'm not supposed to play over there.
But we're not gonna be playin'. We'll just be picking up money.
That's right.
I guess I could go, and change my pants after later.
— Sure. Come on. Let's run. — Okay.
Hey, Beaver, wait!
Beaver.
[Ringing]
Hello? Oh, hello, Ward.
I just wanted to let you know we'd be home to lunch, dear.
[Chuckling] No, no, Wally's fine.
Fred and I were only able to get in nine holes.
No, he was to leave now to take his boy Lumpy to the movies.
I don't know. I guess he wants to get there before the prices change.
Well, when you get home I want you to speak to the Beaver.
He went out in one of his good suits after I told him not to.
All right, dear, I'll speak to him.
Yeah. All right, bye.
Hey, Dad. Uh-huh?
Think this ball's beat—up enough to give to the Beaver?
Hey, I did kinda put a smile on that one, didn't I?
No, the Beaver's not gonna get anything but a good talking—to.
He went outside to play in his good suit. Well, you know, Dad.
Kids like him are always forgettin' stuff.
Your golf bag.
If I find four more, Beaver, I'll have $20.
Gee, I got more than you got,
but I only got $3.60.
That's 'cause I'm makin'—believe mine are quarters.
I think I'm gonna make—believe mine are 50 “centses.”
You know, Beaver, before it's finished,
a house sure looks like a skeleton.
Doesn't it? Yeah.
I never seen a house with its skin off before.
Hey, Beaver, look! I made a seesaw!
Come on, get on it.
No. I'm not supposed to be over here.
And anyways, I think I'd better go home and change my clothes.
Look, how can you get dirty just see-sawin'?
I can get dirty doin' anything.
Don't go now, just when we're startin' to have fun.
Well— Come on, Beave.
I guess I could see-saw just once,
and then go home and change my pants.
Sure! Get on.
Okay, Beave, now you put me up in the air.
I can't!
Well, go ahead and make yourself heavier.
I can't. You make yourself lighter.
I'm tryin'.
[Dog Barks]
What are you goofy kids doin'?
He's too heavy. I can't get down.
That's easy. Larry,just get off.
What'd you do that for, you wise guy?
You all right, Beaver?
[Eddie] Sure, he’s all right.
Come on, get up, Beaver. We'll do it again.
This is fun.
I guess I'm all right.
[Fabric Rips]
Uh—oh.
I'm all right, but I don't think my pants are.
[Larry] Wow! You tore out the whole back!
[Eddie Snickering]
This is one of my good suits, Eddie. My mom's gonna be pretty sore when she finds out what happened.
Wait a minute, kid. You're not gonna be a little squealer, are ya?
Well, you're the one that did it.
Yeah, but If you go around squealin' on guys, nobody's gonna like you.
Is that why nobody likes you, Eddie?
Shut up, fat boy!
Come on, Beaver. You gonna be one of them little babies that tells his mommy everything?
Well, I'm not gonna be a squealer,
but if I get in any trouble, I'm gonna have my big brother Wally fix you.
Go on. I could take care of Wally with one hand tied behind me.
Oh, yeah? Sure!
And if he tries anything with me, I'll sic my police dog on ya.
[Growls, Barking]
He was in the war. They trained him to attack the enemy.
[Barking Continues]
Just watch what you're sayin', kid.
Come on, Wolf.
Looks bad, huh, Larry? It sure does.
You know somethin'? You shouldn't have come over here in your good suit.
[June Sighs]
Wow, there's more rip than there is pants. Never mind, Wally.
We're waiting for an explanation, Beaver.
Beaver, I wanna know right now how you ripped your trousers.
Well, I didn't 'xactly rip 'em.
Somebody else ripped them?
That's right. Somebody else ripped them.
Well, who was this “somebody else"?
Uh...
the somebody else was a dog.
[June] A dog bit you, Beaver?
Yeah. He tried to “bit“ me.
But he got my pants instead.
Oh, I see. Well, who did this dog belong to?
Uh—
I never saw him before. I think he's from out of town.
Well, Beaver, from the looks of that rip, I'd say the dog had one rusty tooth.
Beaver, it was a nail, and it happened over at that new house they're building, didn't it?
Yes, sir.
Why did you lie to us, Beaver?
You know what happens to boys who tell lies?
They don't get to watch television for the rest of their lives?
Beaver, when you tell one lie—
[Rings]
When you tell one lie, it always leads to another. Hello?
Oh, hello, Fred. And then that—
Ward? Yes, he's right here. No, no—
Well, that sounds very nice.
The Rutherfords want us to come over and play bridge tonight.
I played golf with Fred this morning. I don't feel up to an evening with him.
Boys, you'd better go on upstairs.
I'll talk to you later.
Hello, Fred, old boy. How are you?
Wait a minute, Beave.
[Ward] Fred I’m sorry, but Ed Ferguson ’s been wanting to demonstrate a new car.
I’d hate to disappoint him.
Sure, Fred. Any other time.
It's just one of those things. [Chuckles]
Yeah. All right. Good—bye, boy.
Ward. Honey, I just didn't feel up to another evening with Fred.
And anyway, Ed Ferguson did say something about a new car just last week.
Well, uh, I'd better go up and finish my little talk with the Beaver.
All about what happens to little boys who tell lies?
[Clears Throat] Well, maybe I'd better wait till after lunch.
Till your conscience clears up a little.
Yeah.
And anyhow, I am a little hungry.
Now, Beaver, you disobeyed me and you went out in your good clothes.
And you ripped your trousers, and you lied to us.
Yes, Mom.
— You know you're going to have to be punished, don't you? — Yes, sir.
Well, we wanna be fair about it. What do you think a fair punishment would be?
No stewed figs for dessert.
Uh, Beaver, you know you don't like stewed figs.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Dad, why don't you make him sleep on the floor?
Gee, Dad, that'd be neat!
Wally, I think I can handle this myself.
I'll tell you, Beaver,
I think a fair punishment would be for you to spend the rest of the afternoon up here in your room.
Gee, Dad, what can I do up here?
Well, you could take a nap.
I haven't taken a nap since a long time ago.
I'm sorry, but that's going to be your punishment.
Come on, boy. Into bed. Let's go, Wally.
Dad, couldn't Wally take a nap with me? Then we could play checkers or somethin'.
Yeah, Dad. I wouldn't mind.
All right, Wally, come on. Everybody out.
Mom? Yes, Beaver?
I'm sorry I wore my good pants after you told me not to and ripped 'em.
I am too.
Beaver,
you know the real reason you're being punished, don't you?
Because I made you and Dad mad.
No, because you played over at the new house...
and you told those lies about the dog biting you.
I guess so.
Beaver, it's telling lies that gets us into trouble.
You'll always be safe If you tell the truth.
And anyway, even when you think you're getting away with it, God knows you're lying.
How?
Oh, because God knows everything and he sees everything.
Right through the roof?
Right through the roof.
Right through the ceiling?
And through the ceiling.
Would God see me If I hid in my closet?
Yes, Beaver. You see, God is everywhere.
Was God there when Dad was talking to Mr. Rutherford on the telephone?
Well, Beaver, that was a little bit different.
You see, well, your father was tired,
and he didn't want to hurt Mr. Rutherford's feelings, and—
Well, Beaver, I'm afraid sometimes your father and I make mistakes.
That's okay. I make 'em myself sometimes, Mom.
Well, you lie down now and take your nap. Okay, Mom.
Mom? Yes, Beaver?
You gonna make Dad take a nap too?
No, but I think there's something else your father's going to do.
Yeah, Fred.June and I discovered that we are going to be able to make it tonight after all.
Oh, Ferguson? Well, uh—
Um, I, uh, I guess I was wrong about that, Fred. [Chuckles]
Yes, well, we'll look forward to seeing you too.
All right. Bye.
Well, there you are, dear. We're going, and I'm going to be miserable all evening.
I don't care how miserable you are. You're going to enjoy it.
Uh, I'll make a point of that.
How's the Beaver doing? He's taking his nap.
I hope we haven't been too severe with him.
He looks so forlorn up there in his room all by himself.
Well, after all, he did wear his good clothes over there to that house,
and he did make up a fantastic story about a dog.
I know it.
I guess he'll have to wear his blue suit to Sunday school tomorrow.
I just hope he realizes in the future that if he tells the truth he won't get into trouble.
I think he will.
Boy, that Eddie sure is a wise guy. Yeah.
You know what else he said?
He said he could lick you with one hand tied behind his back.
— Eddie said that? — Yeah. You think he can, Wally?
Are you kiddin'? He couldn't lick me on the best day he ever had.
Hey, Beave, Eddie hangs around that new house a lot, doesn't he?
Yeah. He's probably over there right now.
I think I'll go over there. I'd just like to see him say that in front of me.
Come on, Beave. I don't wanna go.
Beave, we'll only be a second. Who's gonna know?
Well, you know, Wally, somebody's always watching us.
— Anyway, we're not supposed to play over there. — We're not goin' there to play.
We're goin' over there to straighten out Eddie.
Okay.
Sure hope he knows that.
Shouldn't the boys be home by now?
Oh, they are a little late.
They had on their good clothes. You don't suppose they stopped off somewhere, do you?
After what happened yesterday? I don't think so.
I think we made quite an impression.
Hmm.
All right, Eddie. let's hear you say what you said yesterday.
Gee, Wally, that was yesterday. I don't remember what I said.
— [Beaver] I do. — Me too!
You said you could lick Wally with one hand tied behind your back.
Then he pushed me off the seesaw and Beaver ripped his pants.
Who asked you, Larry?
Listen, Eddie, I’m telling you for the last time— you lay off my brother.
Yeah, you lay off his brother!
What's the matter with you, Wally? The whole thing was a joke.
Joke nothin'. You take it back about you lickin' me.
All right. So I take it back. Big deal.
[Larry] Eddie's chicken. [All Laughing] Eddie's chicken!
I'll take my coat now.
— [Dog Growling] — [Boys Shouting]
[Fabric Rips]
Wow. That's even worse than yesterday.
Yeah. I guess dogs are tougher on pants than nails.
You're in a big mess now. What are you gonna do?
Well, Mom and Dad said yesterday...
you can't get in any trouble by telling the truth.
So I'd just better tell 'em what happened.
Yeah, I guess that's what we'd better do, all right.
Well, we were getting worried about you two.
You certainly took a long time getting home. I know, Mom.
Uh, we sorta got somethin' to tell ya.
Well, what is it?
Uh... well, the Beaver kinda ran into a little bit of trouble.
Yeah.
Oh, no. Not your blue suit too.
All right, how did it happen?
And I want the truth this time, not a lot of nonsense.
Well, there was this dog, see.
Eddie pushed Wally, and then the dog jumped on me—
All right, Beaver, that's enough. Upstairs.
But, Dad, there really was— You go with him.
But, Dad, this dog— Dad, Wally was—
That's enough! Upstairs, both of you.
Ward, I just don't understand the Beaver doing this again.
“A dog bit me.”
You'd think if he was gonna make up a lie, he'd at least have imagination to make up a new one, wouldn't you?
[Sighs]
You know, Wally,
it's funny.
What's funny?
You tell a lie and you get in trouble,
and you tell the truth and you still get in trouble.
Yeah. I guess everything you do when you're a kid gets you in trouble.
But, gee, you gotta do somethin'.
If you just sat around and did nothin', It wouldn't be any fun bein' a kid.
Yeah.
What gets you is, Mom and Dad don't even know we told 'em the truth.
— I'm still glad we did, though. — Yeah?
Well, how come?
I don't know.
I kinda figure at least somebody knows.
Uh-huh.
Well, thank you very much for calling.
Oh, I'll tell him, all right. Bye.
Who was that? Mrs. Mondello.
Oh. Ward.
Mm—hmm?
A dog did rip the Beaver's pants.
What? Her son Larry was there, and he saw it all.
It seems that Wally and Eddie got in some sort of argument,
and in the confusion Eddie's dog ripped the Beaver's pants.
Oh, my gosh.
And we convinced them that they couldn't possibly get in trouble if they told the truth.
Looks like we've done a pretty thorough job of confusing them.
Yeah.
Well, there's— there's only one thing to do.
I've gotta go upstairs and tell 'em I made a mistake.
I just gotta tell 'em I flew off the handle and...
made a fool of myself.
Don't look so sad, dear.
That's just one of the hazards of being a father.
Yeah.
Ward
I'll go with you.