1 00:00:05,027 --> 00:00:06,927 _ 2 00:00:06,972 --> 00:00:09,106 Which is a 50-point bonus, so, um... 3 00:00:09,141 --> 00:00:10,540 Uh, "thesbian" is not a word. 4 00:00:12,010 --> 00:00:13,343 "Thespian" is a word with a "P". 5 00:00:13,378 --> 00:00:14,344 - No, no, no, no. - Yeah. 6 00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:16,113 Thesbian is a gay thespian. 7 00:00:16,148 --> 00:00:17,781 Please look that up. 8 00:00:17,816 --> 00:00:19,516 Ugh, it's Chad. He's here to pick up Princess. 9 00:00:19,551 --> 00:00:21,351 Wait, you told him where I live? 10 00:00:21,386 --> 00:00:22,919 Princess has a tracking implant. 11 00:00:24,189 --> 00:00:25,956 Why is he always peering through things? 12 00:00:25,991 --> 00:00:27,624 That's really creepy. 13 00:00:27,659 --> 00:00:29,626 Evening, Chad, how can I... ? Okay. 14 00:00:29,661 --> 00:00:31,895 - Can we talk? - Hi, Chad. 15 00:00:31,930 --> 00:00:33,997 Like, without any lurkers? 16 00:00:34,032 --> 00:00:35,198 Anything you want to say to me, you can say 17 00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:36,199 in front of both of us. 18 00:00:36,682 --> 00:00:37,579 Fine. 19 00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:41,920 To whom it may concern: 20 00:00:42,674 --> 00:00:44,474 As you may be aware, I have recently accepted 21 00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:46,409 a plea bargain for a reduced prison sentence 22 00:00:46,445 --> 00:00:49,346 for my ongoing kerfuffle with the IRS. 23 00:00:49,381 --> 00:00:50,580 In light of my impending incarceration, 24 00:00:50,616 --> 00:00:52,178 I have prepared a list of final requests. 25 00:00:52,298 --> 00:00:53,550 This is a standard practice 26 00:00:53,585 --> 00:00:55,318 that everyone knows about and does. 27 00:00:55,354 --> 00:00:56,720 Uh, is this really standard? I'm not... 28 00:00:56,755 --> 00:00:58,422 This is my time. This is Chad time. 29 00:00:59,872 --> 00:01:00,690 Let's begin. 30 00:01:01,953 --> 00:01:03,393 Make love with Colleen one last time. 31 00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,095 - No! - Absolutely not. No. 32 00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:06,763 See what else we have here. 33 00:01:07,286 --> 00:01:08,678 Nope, nope. 34 00:01:08,798 --> 00:01:10,033 Hold on, hold on. 35 00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:12,435 Do any of these requests not involve us having sex? 36 00:01:19,978 --> 00:01:21,044 - Oh, wow. - I knew it, I knew it. 37 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:23,591 Come on, guys! 38 00:01:23,841 --> 00:01:25,015 I'm going to prison. 39 00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:26,449 Cannot happen fast enough. 40 00:01:26,485 --> 00:01:28,014 You got to do something for me. 41 00:01:28,313 --> 00:01:29,886 You guys are like the only family I have. 42 00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:31,788 You, you're like my best friend, Mitch. 43 00:01:31,824 --> 00:01:33,690 We've met twice. My name is Matt. 44 00:01:33,725 --> 00:01:35,559 - Yeah. - Okay, look, maybe we do something 45 00:01:35,594 --> 00:01:39,029 like... like a-a last meal. 46 00:01:39,064 --> 00:01:40,530 Like your grandmother's tamales. 47 00:01:40,566 --> 00:01:42,566 Aw, that's sweet. 48 00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:44,034 Yeah, fine. 49 00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:45,402 Are you serious? 50 00:01:45,437 --> 00:01:46,803 We were together for three years. 51 00:01:46,839 --> 00:01:48,638 It's the least I can do, a last meal. 52 00:01:48,674 --> 00:01:50,207 Okay? 53 00:01:50,242 --> 00:01:51,374 Tonita's tamales. 54 00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:53,276 - And then you can take me to prison. - Fine. Great. 55 00:01:53,312 --> 00:01:54,677 - Seal it with a kiss. - No. Hey. 56 00:01:54,797 --> 00:01:57,147 - No. - Wasn't talking to you. 57 00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:02,819 Are you sure you're okay doing this? 58 00:02:02,855 --> 00:02:05,055 Look, if it gets you closure and we can move on, 59 00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:06,456 you know what, I'm all for it. 60 00:02:06,491 --> 00:02:08,406 Right, after today, we are free and clear, okay? 61 00:02:08,426 --> 00:02:09,092 Just us. 62 00:02:09,127 --> 00:02:11,595 No more of... that. 63 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,463 He didn't used to be this weird. 64 00:02:13,498 --> 00:02:15,232 God. 65 00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:16,800 We're gonna see what kind of man you really are. 66 00:02:16,835 --> 00:02:19,002 I requested she make the tamales... 67 00:02:20,017 --> 00:02:21,972 extra spicy. 68 00:02:24,543 --> 00:02:25,976 I'd just like to point out the fact 69 00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:28,111 that she went black and did, in fact, go back. 70 00:02:28,146 --> 00:02:29,646 Two alpha males going at it. 71 00:02:29,681 --> 00:02:31,681 Mm-hmm. 72 00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:34,951 - Abuelita! - Nieta! 73 00:02:34,987 --> 00:02:36,853 - My beautiful girl. - ¿Como estas? 74 00:02:38,570 --> 00:02:39,289 This is Matt. 75 00:02:39,324 --> 00:02:40,490 - Hi. - Who I was telling you about. 76 00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:41,958 Mi corazón. 77 00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:43,093 Mijo! 78 00:02:43,128 --> 00:02:44,361 Come here. 79 00:02:44,396 --> 00:02:45,595 - Muy bien. - You look beautiful. 80 00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:48,298 Okay, here we go. One, two, three, 81 00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:50,867 four, mm, mm, smoke it. 82 00:02:50,903 --> 00:02:52,002 Okay, let's wait inside. 83 00:02:52,037 --> 00:02:53,436 - This goes on a while. - Okay. 84 00:02:53,472 --> 00:02:54,838 One more time. I want to get it perfect. 85 00:02:54,873 --> 00:02:56,640 - Yeah, all right. - Excuse me. 86 00:03:00,078 --> 00:03:02,512 - Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. - Mmm. 87 00:03:02,547 --> 00:03:04,147 Mm-hmm. 88 00:03:04,182 --> 00:03:05,849 You know what? 89 00:03:05,884 --> 00:03:08,885 I would say these are your best tamales ever, Tonita. 90 00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:11,288 I am so honored you wanted them. 91 00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:14,783 Actually, I just asked for Colleen to sleep with me again. 92 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,359 But these are good, too. 93 00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:19,529 Why you not have sex with him? 94 00:03:19,564 --> 00:03:20,830 He's your fiancé. 95 00:03:20,866 --> 00:03:22,365 You give him your word. 96 00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:23,833 He is not my fiancé anymore. 97 00:03:23,869 --> 00:03:25,402 I'm with Matt now. 98 00:03:25,437 --> 00:03:27,504 And Chad's going to prison for tax evasion. 99 00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:28,738 He lied to everyone. 100 00:03:28,774 --> 00:03:29,973 But look, 101 00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:31,708 he's wearing a blazer. 102 00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:34,144 You know what? 103 00:03:34,179 --> 00:03:35,912 I bought you this. 104 00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:38,548 The guy at the store said it's a traditional Mexican tequila, 105 00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,083 so I wanted you to have it. 106 00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:41,484 Thank you, Mark. 107 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,752 M-Matt. 108 00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:45,555 It's the same tequila my stepfather used to drink. 109 00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:46,990 Oh, wow, that's so cool. I had no idea. 110 00:03:47,025 --> 00:03:48,892 Before he beat my mama. 111 00:03:51,563 --> 00:03:53,029 - I'm so sorry. - I don't, I don't know. 112 00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:54,531 Okay. 113 00:03:55,395 --> 00:03:56,533 Great job, Mark. 114 00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:59,690 Mm-mm-mm, don't you do it. 115 00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:02,339 Don't you cry. 116 00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:05,691 Don't you let them see you cry. 117 00:04:06,949 --> 00:04:08,078 ♪ Because ♪ 118 00:04:08,113 --> 00:04:10,447 ♪ It's just like the ocean ♪ 119 00:04:10,482 --> 00:04:12,682 ♪ Under the moon ♪ 120 00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:14,918 ♪ It's just the same as the emotion ♪ 121 00:04:14,953 --> 00:04:18,254 ♪ That I get from you ♪ 122 00:04:18,290 --> 00:04:21,291 - ♪ You got the kind of loving... ♪ - Do you want to get some dessert? 123 00:04:21,326 --> 00:04:23,126 This usually goes on for a while. 124 00:04:23,161 --> 00:04:24,210 Okay. 125 00:04:24,763 --> 00:04:27,697 ♪ Give me your heart, make it real ♪ 126 00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:31,468 ♪ Or else forget about it. ♪ 127 00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:32,702 Well, that's not the way 128 00:04:32,738 --> 00:04:34,137 I wanted to meet your grandmother. 129 00:04:34,172 --> 00:04:35,271 You're gonna have many more opportunities 130 00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:36,539 to get her to like you. 131 00:04:36,575 --> 00:04:38,041 Today was about Chad saying good-bye. 132 00:04:38,076 --> 00:04:39,642 - Yeah. - I'm gonna be honest with you, man. 133 00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:42,379 I think that actually went pretty terrible for you. 134 00:04:42,414 --> 00:04:44,447 Okay. But it was very fun to watch, 135 00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:45,648 as somebody emotionally removed from the situation. 136 00:04:45,684 --> 00:04:47,283 Thank you, Chad. 137 00:04:47,319 --> 00:04:49,652 I feel the same way right now about taking you to prison. 138 00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:51,454 I can't believe I'm going to prison. 139 00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,655 Oh, it's not Guantanamo Bay. 140 00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,157 They have a water slide. 141 00:04:54,192 --> 00:04:55,892 Yeah, I'll get some reading done. 142 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:57,227 Probably get my own room. 143 00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:59,129 Get to work out as much as I want. 144 00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:00,730 - Mm-hmm. - During the allocated hours, of course. 145 00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:04,601 But have some time for rest and reflection. 146 00:05:04,636 --> 00:05:06,770 Take an honest assessment of how I got here. 147 00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:10,640 I can't do it. 148 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,344 - Chad. - Uh, what is he doing? 149 00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:15,578 He's just being dramatic. 150 00:05:15,614 --> 00:05:17,080 He'll get back in. 151 00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:18,848 Watch, he's fine. 152 00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:21,451 Chad! Chad! 153 00:05:21,486 --> 00:05:23,553 Chad, get back in the car. 154 00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:28,124 I'm coming back for you, Colleen Brandon Ortega. 155 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,259 Just you watch. 156 00:05:31,463 --> 00:05:33,263 Oh, I'm full of tamales. 157 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,005 Chad. 158 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,271 Don't do this, Chad. 159 00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:43,306 Don't forget to give Princess his pills! 160 00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:49,179 So much for closure and moving on. 161 00:05:50,504 --> 00:05:52,504 _ 162 00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:54,032 Mom, Dad. 163 00:05:54,052 --> 00:05:54,884 Hi! 164 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,019 Hi there! 165 00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:57,787 Oh, hello. 166 00:05:57,823 --> 00:06:00,323 Baby delivery for the grandparents. 167 00:06:00,358 --> 00:06:01,524 Have at her. 168 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,159 You've got shoes! 169 00:06:03,195 --> 00:06:04,828 Oh, they're adorable. 170 00:06:04,863 --> 00:06:07,497 And you're not even walking yet. 171 00:06:07,532 --> 00:06:10,468 Well, they don't have to be so tight, do they? 172 00:06:10,588 --> 00:06:11,765 Oh, I see. Well, that's helpful. 173 00:06:11,885 --> 00:06:12,669 Isn't that helpful, Greg? 174 00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:14,137 Did you learn how to walk? 175 00:06:14,962 --> 00:06:15,805 Wine? 176 00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,607 Yep. Thank you. 177 00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:18,957 Tell me when. 178 00:06:19,882 --> 00:06:21,010 Till it hits the air. 179 00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:23,012 - Tip-tip-top-top her off. - Oh. 180 00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:24,180 That's half the bottle. 181 00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:26,182 - Yeah, perfect, perfect. - Cheers. 182 00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,019 You like that pacifier, huh? 183 00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:32,355 Let me take... 184 00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:34,157 You're going with a pacifier. 185 00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:35,859 You obviously don't-don't like them? 186 00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:38,027 Oh, no, no, all my kids 187 00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,229 were self-soothers. 188 00:06:39,264 --> 00:06:40,330 It's just so hard 189 00:06:40,365 --> 00:06:42,065 to wean them from a pacifier. 190 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,366 But you've read all that. 191 00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:44,634 You're such a good mom. 192 00:06:44,669 --> 00:06:46,102 Well, not as good as you. 193 00:06:46,138 --> 00:06:48,004 Oh, well, you know. 194 00:06:48,039 --> 00:06:50,507 By the third kid, you kind of get it right. 195 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:51,708 Thanks, Mom. 196 00:06:52,189 --> 00:06:53,376 Where's her hat? 197 00:06:53,411 --> 00:06:54,744 It's chilly in here. 198 00:06:55,089 --> 00:06:56,045 I'll go get the hat. 199 00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:58,615 We don't need a hat. 200 00:06:58,650 --> 00:06:59,782 Oh, well, it's fine. 201 00:06:59,818 --> 00:07:02,085 I'll turn on the heat. 202 00:07:10,962 --> 00:07:13,897 Hey, why do you always take your mom's side? 203 00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:15,698 I'm not taking anybody's side. 204 00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:16,900 Okay, well, that's a problem. 205 00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:18,434 I need you to take my side. 206 00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,403 What if I don't agree with you? 207 00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:21,471 Well, that has absolutely nothing 208 00:07:21,506 --> 00:07:22,539 to do with taking my side. 209 00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:23,606 Uh, well, see, 210 00:07:23,642 --> 00:07:24,741 I just... 211 00:07:24,776 --> 00:07:25,942 I would think that 212 00:07:25,977 --> 00:07:27,043 you wouldn't want a husband 213 00:07:27,078 --> 00:07:28,378 that would just blindly agree 214 00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:30,146 to anything his wife told him to do 215 00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:33,483 without, you know, having his own opinions. 216 00:07:33,518 --> 00:07:35,418 Oh. Yeah, no, yes, I would. 217 00:07:35,908 --> 00:07:38,888 Oh, all right, then I'll be on your side. 218 00:07:38,924 --> 00:07:40,323 Thank you, honey. 219 00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:43,551 Now will you tell your mom to stop critisizing me? 220 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:44,289 Oh, no! 221 00:07:44,324 --> 00:07:45,523 No, no, i'm sorry. 222 00:07:45,559 --> 00:07:46,925 Can't do that. 223 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,159 But you just said you agreed with me. 224 00:07:48,195 --> 00:07:48,953 And I do. 225 00:07:49,073 --> 00:07:50,628 I agree with every word you just said, 226 00:07:50,664 --> 00:07:52,197 just not the point they make 227 00:07:52,232 --> 00:07:53,865 when you string all those words together in a sentence. 228 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,100 Greg. 229 00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,768 She'll feel bad. 230 00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:58,536 Well, unfortunately, it's either she feels bad 231 00:07:58,572 --> 00:07:59,771 or I feel bad. 232 00:08:00,215 --> 00:08:01,172 Or I feel bad. 233 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,375 You're feeling bad no matter what. 234 00:08:10,192 --> 00:08:11,687 Honey, is something wrong? 235 00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:13,818 No, no. 236 00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:15,120 I just... 237 00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:17,889 really wanted to encourage you 238 00:08:17,924 --> 00:08:21,626 to enjoy all the, the wonderful benefits of being a grandmother 239 00:08:21,661 --> 00:08:24,714 without having any of the responsibilities. 240 00:08:25,234 --> 00:08:26,464 I don't understand. 241 00:08:26,928 --> 00:08:29,334 Just let-let Jen... 242 00:08:29,369 --> 00:08:31,336 you know, uh, mother the... 243 00:08:31,371 --> 00:08:32,833 the baby. 244 00:08:32,953 --> 00:08:34,506 And just enjoy 245 00:08:34,541 --> 00:08:36,241 your granddaughter. 246 00:08:36,276 --> 00:08:37,709 Oh, I see. 247 00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:39,938 Did Jen ask you to speak to me? 248 00:08:40,303 --> 00:08:41,913 No. No. 249 00:08:41,948 --> 00:08:45,316 - This is coming from you? - No! Uh... 250 00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:46,584 I... 251 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:48,386 agree with her. 252 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:49,587 You do? 253 00:08:49,623 --> 00:08:50,688 But I agree with you, too. 254 00:08:51,176 --> 00:08:52,490 I agree 255 00:08:52,526 --> 00:08:55,360 with everyone 256 00:08:55,395 --> 00:08:57,429 about everything. 257 00:08:57,464 --> 00:08:59,152 I mean, I'm just really happy, 258 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:02,451 you know, with the situation, 259 00:09:02,993 --> 00:09:04,516 with parenthood, 260 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,882 with... 261 00:09:13,447 --> 00:09:15,447 Just, you know... 262 00:09:19,586 --> 00:09:21,252 Hey, Mom said you yelled at her. 263 00:09:21,696 --> 00:09:22,921 What? I didn't yell at her. 264 00:09:22,956 --> 00:09:24,377 Okay, listen, I'm coming over. 265 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,924 - No, no, no. - Yes, yes, yes. 266 00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:28,126 This is huge. 267 00:09:28,161 --> 00:09:30,411 You finally picked another woman over Mom. 268 00:09:30,531 --> 00:09:32,348 I came as soon as I heard. 269 00:09:32,468 --> 00:09:33,548 Heard what? 270 00:09:33,668 --> 00:09:34,665 You screamed at Mom? 271 00:09:34,886 --> 00:09:35,900 I am so proud of you. 272 00:09:36,381 --> 00:09:38,467 Yeah, and I didn't even tell him to do it. 273 00:09:38,587 --> 00:09:39,737 It's kind of like you read my mind, though. 274 00:09:39,773 --> 00:09:41,606 I didn't scream at Mom. 275 00:09:41,641 --> 00:09:42,874 We are so proud of you. 276 00:09:42,909 --> 00:09:44,108 Yeah, really, it's about time. 277 00:09:44,144 --> 00:09:45,143 Hey, don't let our mom fool you 278 00:09:45,178 --> 00:09:46,377 with that voice of caramel. 279 00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:47,712 - She will gut a bitch. - Oh, I know. 280 00:09:47,747 --> 00:09:49,314 It's like she tries to hypnotize you 281 00:09:49,349 --> 00:09:52,450 with that sweet music coming from her mouth, 282 00:09:52,486 --> 00:09:54,250 when what she's really saying is, 283 00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:56,421 "You are a disappointment." 284 00:09:56,456 --> 00:09:57,922 Oh, well, hey, don't let her throw you, Jen. 285 00:09:57,958 --> 00:09:59,757 - You are an awesome mom. - Yep. 286 00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:01,593 Thank you. 287 00:10:01,628 --> 00:10:03,561 Okay, I'm just gonna get you a smaller blanket 288 00:10:03,597 --> 00:10:05,430 so you don't wrap this around your little neck, 289 00:10:05,465 --> 00:10:06,898 and let's get that choking hazard 290 00:10:06,933 --> 00:10:08,433 out of there. 291 00:10:09,549 --> 00:10:10,635 Oh, my God. 292 00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:13,271 - You're doing it, too. - What? 293 00:10:13,306 --> 00:10:15,473 Is this, like, a thing in your family? 294 00:10:17,058 --> 00:10:18,343 What are you looking at him for? 295 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,280 I agree with all of you. 296 00:10:23,088 --> 00:10:23,815 Oh, that's good. 297 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,650 You're killing this. 298 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:29,354 Hey. 299 00:10:29,389 --> 00:10:31,456 Next time you want to get tough with one of your parents, 300 00:10:31,491 --> 00:10:33,376 come at me, not your mom. 301 00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:35,678 What is happening? 302 00:10:35,798 --> 00:10:37,962 John, it's fine. 303 00:10:37,998 --> 00:10:39,785 He was right to speak up. 304 00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:41,799 He's supporting his wife. 305 00:10:41,835 --> 00:10:43,001 Thanks, Mom. 306 00:10:43,036 --> 00:10:44,469 I still feel like a good fight. 307 00:10:44,504 --> 00:10:46,037 - Tim! - Yeah. 308 00:10:46,072 --> 00:10:48,640 Oh, she's so beautiful. 309 00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:50,708 And... ? 310 00:10:50,828 --> 00:10:52,697 Just like her mom. 311 00:10:54,848 --> 00:10:57,181 Agree with your mother. 312 00:10:59,295 --> 00:11:00,518 Pretty cute, huh? 313 00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,520 You think you're gonna want to babysit her one day? 314 00:11:02,556 --> 00:11:03,721 Mm-hmm. 315 00:11:04,738 --> 00:11:06,157 Not to change the subject, 316 00:11:06,192 --> 00:11:08,793 but I've noticed she's not getting a lot of tummy time, 317 00:11:08,828 --> 00:11:10,827 which is crucial at this stage 318 00:11:10,947 --> 00:11:12,730 for neck and head development. 319 00:11:18,754 --> 00:11:19,961 You know, I think it's emotional. 320 00:11:20,081 --> 00:11:22,529 - Like when I was a kid and I killed all those turtles. - What? 321 00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:26,830 _ 322 00:11:26,924 --> 00:11:28,724 - Get out of my room! - Stop! 323 00:11:28,759 --> 00:11:30,492 You have your own room! Mom! 324 00:11:31,529 --> 00:11:33,028 Get out! 325 00:11:33,064 --> 00:11:35,998 Okay, okay, which one of you do I need to yell at? 326 00:11:36,033 --> 00:11:38,968 - She's trying to sleep in my bed. - Well, sweetie, calm down. 327 00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:40,736 It's just, it's a new house. She's not used to it. 328 00:11:40,771 --> 00:11:42,228 You have your own room now, honey. 329 00:11:42,348 --> 00:11:44,520 Yeah, if you don't want it, I'll turn it into a gym. 330 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,209 I got that Bowflex we're still making payments on. 331 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,046 But the walls have eyes. 332 00:11:51,082 --> 00:11:52,314 Honey, no, 333 00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:53,649 it's just an air vent. 334 00:11:53,684 --> 00:11:55,050 I want to sleep in here. 335 00:11:55,086 --> 00:11:56,919 No way. She picks her nose. 336 00:11:56,954 --> 00:11:59,221 I've seen her get two knuckles deep. 337 00:11:59,257 --> 00:12:00,422 - Oh, God. - I hate you. 338 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,323 Hey! 339 00:12:01,359 --> 00:12:02,658 - Come on. - Leave! 340 00:12:02,693 --> 00:12:04,226 You know your mom hates booger talk. 341 00:12:04,262 --> 00:12:05,594 All right, how long's she been doing this? 342 00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:07,588 - A few weeks. - And does she eat it? 343 00:12:07,898 --> 00:12:09,198 Does she pick her nose and then... 344 00:12:09,233 --> 00:12:10,165 No, no. 345 00:12:10,201 --> 00:12:11,333 Thank you, God. 346 00:12:11,369 --> 00:12:13,068 She wipes it on the sheets. 347 00:12:13,104 --> 00:12:14,570 I think I might be sick. 348 00:12:14,605 --> 00:12:16,105 Why can't she just roll it into a ball 349 00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:18,374 and flick it across the room like everybody else? 350 00:12:18,409 --> 00:12:20,009 Okay, so we need to be careful about this. 351 00:12:20,044 --> 00:12:21,677 Yeah, we make too big a deal out of it, 352 00:12:21,712 --> 00:12:23,445 then it's fetishized and next thing you know, 353 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,581 - she's 35, buying boogers on Craigslist. - Okay, you know, 354 00:12:25,616 --> 00:12:27,249 I think it's emotional. Like when I was a kid 355 00:12:27,285 --> 00:12:28,684 and I killed all those turtles. 356 00:12:28,719 --> 00:12:30,886 - What? - Nothing. 357 00:12:30,922 --> 00:12:32,087 One of us has to talk to her. 358 00:12:32,123 --> 00:12:33,355 Fine, I'll go. 359 00:12:33,391 --> 00:12:34,523 Okay, but talk to her 360 00:12:34,558 --> 00:12:35,758 like you're her father, 361 00:12:35,793 --> 00:12:37,293 not an ear, nose and throat doctor. 362 00:12:37,328 --> 00:12:38,827 Well, that confuses me because I talk 363 00:12:38,863 --> 00:12:40,462 to all my patients like I'm their father. 364 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:43,232 - Mom? - Go, go, go. 365 00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:45,601 She won't leave and you told me I can't smack her. 366 00:12:45,636 --> 00:12:48,037 Sophia, honey, you have to sleep in your own bed. 367 00:12:48,072 --> 00:12:49,705 I hate my bed. 368 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,007 I want to move back to our old house. 369 00:12:53,277 --> 00:12:54,944 - All right, I'm going in. - Yeah. 370 00:12:54,979 --> 00:12:56,645 She can't sleep in my bed. 371 00:12:56,681 --> 00:12:59,715 I know, and you don't have to be embarrassed about it. 372 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:00,883 - What? - Morning wood 373 00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:02,151 is not a big deal. 374 00:13:02,186 --> 00:13:03,252 There's a reason why that happens. 375 00:13:03,287 --> 00:13:04,620 - Mom, no. - What?! 376 00:13:04,655 --> 00:13:07,156 What? Why? Hey, why are you making this weird? 377 00:13:09,608 --> 00:13:10,675 Hey, kiddo. 378 00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:13,007 Listen, um, 379 00:13:13,383 --> 00:13:14,096 I get it. 380 00:13:14,131 --> 00:13:15,798 You've always shared a room with your sister. 381 00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:17,232 Now you have to sleep by yourself, 382 00:13:17,268 --> 00:13:19,401 and that can be very scary. 383 00:13:23,326 --> 00:13:25,607 Wow, it's like sleeping on a gravel road. 384 00:13:25,643 --> 00:13:28,744 I'm not picking my nose because I'm scared. 385 00:13:28,779 --> 00:13:29,778 Then why? 386 00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:31,647 It's a peanut. 387 00:13:32,232 --> 00:13:33,749 I stuck it up there two weeks ago 388 00:13:33,784 --> 00:13:35,351 and I can't get it out. 389 00:13:35,386 --> 00:13:37,453 What are you doing sticking a peanut up your nose? 390 00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:39,670 You always say try everything. 391 00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:41,857 Yeah. 392 00:13:43,077 --> 00:13:44,793 That's why I got the Bowflex. 393 00:13:44,829 --> 00:13:47,129 Ah. 394 00:13:49,066 --> 00:13:50,933 Hey, why didn't you just tell us about this? 395 00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:53,635 I didn't want you to think I was a stupid little kid. 396 00:13:53,671 --> 00:13:56,188 Hey, there's nothing stupid about sticking a... 397 00:13:56,642 --> 00:13:58,007 You-You're not stupid. 398 00:13:58,933 --> 00:13:59,842 You know what I think? 399 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,112 I think you telling us about this... 400 00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:03,345 Very grown-up thing to do. 401 00:14:03,381 --> 00:14:05,147 And that's how I know you're ready to sleep in your own bed. 402 00:14:05,722 --> 00:14:06,949 I don't know. 403 00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:08,350 Can I have this? 404 00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:10,786 I, um... 405 00:14:10,821 --> 00:14:11,787 Too slow. 406 00:14:17,499 --> 00:14:19,461 Okay, we can never tell him about that. 407 00:14:19,497 --> 00:14:21,497 Oh, I'm pretty excited to tell him. 408 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:29,074 -= www.OpenSubtitles.org =- 409 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,166 Aah! 410 00:15:00,157 --> 00:15:02,057 _ 411 00:15:02,585 --> 00:15:03,685 Well, this is nice. 412 00:15:03,805 --> 00:15:06,503 A relaxing day of golf with my two boys. 413 00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:07,311 And you. 414 00:15:07,787 --> 00:15:09,093 You know, I was so excited about today, 415 00:15:09,213 --> 00:15:11,628 I got these balls custom-made with the name of my practice. 416 00:15:11,748 --> 00:15:13,394 Is that cherry or what? 417 00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:15,229 "Dr. Tim Hughes. 418 00:15:15,265 --> 00:15:16,397 Ear Nose Throat Balls." 419 00:15:16,432 --> 00:15:17,175 What?! 420 00:15:17,295 --> 00:15:17,961 Is that what it says?! 421 00:15:18,503 --> 00:15:19,699 Oh, man. 422 00:15:19,931 --> 00:15:22,079 I got to stop ordering stuff during surgery. 423 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,551 Oh! 424 00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:26,307 - There you go, big guy. - Very nice. 425 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,713 - Wow. - Yeah, to be fair, I am a great golfer. 426 00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:31,170 People call me the white Chi-Chi Rodriguez. 427 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:32,947 Because he tells them to. 428 00:15:38,388 --> 00:15:39,453 Aah! 429 00:15:41,558 --> 00:15:43,858 Double touch. 430 00:15:44,894 --> 00:15:45,960 All right. 431 00:15:47,384 --> 00:15:49,597 Oh, wow! 432 00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:50,998 I haven't golfed in months. 433 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,466 I guess I must have forgotten 434 00:15:52,502 --> 00:15:54,001 all my bad habits. 435 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,337 - Hot start. - Didn't expect that. 436 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,673 Yeah, you're playing like Tiger Woods now. 437 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,174 But by the end of the day, 438 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:01,976 you'll be playing like Tiger Woods now. 439 00:16:06,637 --> 00:16:07,468 Hey! 440 00:16:07,588 --> 00:16:09,372 I wasn't even focusing my eyes. 441 00:16:09,492 --> 00:16:11,032 Top of the leader board, Timmy. 442 00:16:11,397 --> 00:16:14,021 Looks like I got my work cut out for me. 443 00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:16,324 Hey, you remember when you beat Dad at Pictionary 444 00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,326 and he burst a blood vessel in his eye, right? 445 00:16:18,361 --> 00:16:19,961 Not my fault Heather and I cheat. 446 00:16:19,996 --> 00:16:21,662 Yeah, well, he hates losing and especially to you. 447 00:16:21,698 --> 00:16:23,297 Loud and clear, buddy. 448 00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,299 There's no way in the world I can beat that guy at golf. 449 00:16:25,335 --> 00:16:28,002 Now, cornhole, on the other hand, that's my game. 450 00:16:28,037 --> 00:16:30,504 Though don't offer to play it at a truck stop. 451 00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:32,506 Means something else entirely. 452 00:16:34,944 --> 00:16:37,678 Oh, it went in! Hot damn! 453 00:16:37,714 --> 00:16:40,214 - Now, what is wrong with you? - I tried to tell him. 454 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,649 Why aren't you celebrating? 455 00:16:41,684 --> 00:16:43,517 Tim is having a great round. 456 00:16:43,553 --> 00:16:44,919 So this is all right? 457 00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:46,220 Uh-huh. 458 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,522 How about this? 459 00:16:48,558 --> 00:16:49,924 Come on, son. 460 00:16:49,959 --> 00:16:51,559 You ride with me. 461 00:16:54,564 --> 00:16:57,265 You know, we're gonna have to break one of his fingers. 462 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,766 Yeah, all except the middle one 463 00:16:58,801 --> 00:17:00,201 so it always looks like he's flipping the bird. 464 00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,418 I like that. 465 00:17:03,973 --> 00:17:05,373 Oh! 466 00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:06,674 It's like I've been body-snatched 467 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:09,076 by some amazing golfer alien. 468 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,512 You guys need to play with my balls... I think they're lucky. 469 00:17:11,547 --> 00:17:12,546 I'll grab a couple. 470 00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:16,217 You got 'em. Take 'em. 471 00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,619 Lean into it. 472 00:17:18,655 --> 00:17:21,055 Uh, I think our cart is faster than theirs. 473 00:17:21,090 --> 00:17:22,490 Yeah. 474 00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:32,518 I'm gonna call Heather, tell her to start looking 475 00:17:32,638 --> 00:17:33,536 for a second husband. 476 00:17:34,023 --> 00:17:34,765 I texted her. 477 00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:36,137 She'll be here in 15. 478 00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:37,344 Nice. 479 00:17:37,464 --> 00:17:38,628 Yeah, I guess I'm the only one 480 00:17:38,748 --> 00:17:40,408 who hasn't been running off to the trees. 481 00:17:41,592 --> 00:17:42,756 What are you... ? 482 00:17:43,265 --> 00:17:43,785 God. 483 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,025 Beating my dad? 484 00:17:45,424 --> 00:17:46,383 What, do you have heatstroke? 485 00:17:46,503 --> 00:17:47,501 Honey, it's okay. 486 00:17:47,621 --> 00:17:48,542 No. No, it's not. 487 00:17:48,662 --> 00:17:50,589 It never will be again if you don't pull back. 488 00:17:50,709 --> 00:17:51,995 I am having the round of my life. 489 00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:54,110 And your dad is an adult... he can handle losing. 490 00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:56,003 No, not to you... he's had an issue with you 491 00:17:56,123 --> 00:17:57,774 ever since you refused to ask for my hand in marriage. 492 00:17:58,018 --> 00:17:59,856 I didn't refuse to ask him. I asked him. 493 00:17:59,976 --> 00:18:01,616 - He said no. - Okay, well, whatever. 494 00:18:01,736 --> 00:18:03,265 You have worked very hard to get to a place 495 00:18:03,385 --> 00:18:05,701 where he tolerates you, so don't screw that up. 496 00:18:05,821 --> 00:18:06,808 I'm not screwing it up. 497 00:18:07,071 --> 00:18:09,470 Did you ever think maybe he wants me to challenge him? 498 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,428 Show him that maybe I'm as much of a man as he is? 499 00:18:12,548 --> 00:18:16,177 No, I never thought that because I don't have dumb thoughts. 500 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,679 I'm going back out there. 501 00:18:19,413 --> 00:18:20,144 Hey, hey. 502 00:18:20,264 --> 00:18:22,314 This is like the time you thought you could eat 503 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,904 an entire 42-ounce porterhouse steak by yourself. 504 00:18:25,024 --> 00:18:26,498 My mistake was eating the fat. 505 00:18:26,618 --> 00:18:28,930 Okay, you are eating the fat right now. 506 00:18:29,882 --> 00:18:31,188 Hey, what took you so long? 507 00:18:31,308 --> 00:18:32,206 It's hot out here. 508 00:18:32,326 --> 00:18:33,424 Not as hot as I am. 509 00:18:34,099 --> 00:18:35,029 Look at this. 510 00:18:35,064 --> 00:18:36,430 I thought she was gonna talk to him. 511 00:18:36,466 --> 00:18:37,775 Whatever she said to him, it didn't work. 512 00:18:37,895 --> 00:18:40,468 - This is like when he tried to eat that steak. - Yeah. 513 00:18:40,503 --> 00:18:43,037 Hey, did you guys know these are your sister's clubs? 514 00:18:45,761 --> 00:18:47,508 You're up, Chi-Chi Blanco. 515 00:18:52,415 --> 00:18:53,647 It's with God now. 516 00:18:57,431 --> 00:18:58,530 Is that mine? 517 00:18:58,565 --> 00:19:00,565 Ah, the old birdie tap-in. 518 00:19:00,601 --> 00:19:01,950 Congratulations. 519 00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,602 Oh, well, you guys, too, really. 520 00:19:03,637 --> 00:19:05,036 Hell of a round, hell of a round. 521 00:19:05,072 --> 00:19:06,872 I mean, you, that drive on seven. 522 00:19:06,907 --> 00:19:09,156 You take away the wind, and you are on the fairway. 523 00:19:09,422 --> 00:19:12,010 And you, you play every shot out of the sand 524 00:19:12,045 --> 00:19:13,572 and you'd own this course. 525 00:19:13,793 --> 00:19:14,746 And this guy. 526 00:19:14,781 --> 00:19:17,756 Hey, most improved. 527 00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:21,119 Yeah, and you had a great round, too. 528 00:19:21,154 --> 00:19:22,935 And you should be proud of that. 529 00:19:23,055 --> 00:19:24,556 You finish strong, like I do. 530 00:19:25,446 --> 00:19:27,417 Wow, thanks, Dad. 531 00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:29,643 I love you, son. 532 00:19:44,678 --> 00:19:46,278 I can't believe you're okay with this. 533 00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:47,712 Okay with what? 534 00:19:47,748 --> 00:19:48,813 Losing to Tim. 535 00:19:48,849 --> 00:19:50,034 Oh, no, no, no. 536 00:19:50,245 --> 00:19:51,249 I'm not gonna lose. 537 00:19:59,362 --> 00:20:00,282 Ugh. 538 00:20:00,402 --> 00:20:01,698 Uh, it's no big deal. 539 00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:03,303 Still in the 80s. 540 00:20:08,268 --> 00:20:10,368 Come on, you got this, Dr. Balls. 541 00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:16,207 Aah. 542 00:20:17,277 --> 00:20:18,643 Uh, what do you think? 543 00:20:18,679 --> 00:20:20,078 We each take a par and, uh, hit the bar? 544 00:20:20,113 --> 00:20:21,579 Yeah. Hmm? 545 00:20:21,615 --> 00:20:22,681 Yeah. 546 00:20:25,771 --> 00:20:27,485 It was the kiss. 547 00:20:29,189 --> 00:20:30,689 - That's a stroke. - Shut up! 548 00:20:31,959 --> 00:20:33,658 - That's a stroke. Stroke. - Stroke. Stroke. 549 00:20:33,694 --> 00:20:35,493 - Round of my life, come on! - Stroke. 550 00:20:35,529 --> 00:20:38,038 - Come on. - Give you a mulligan on that one, Timbo. 551 00:20:41,186 --> 00:20:42,786 _ 552 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,875 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 552 00:20:46,305 --> 00:20:52,588 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/kvau Help other users to choose the best subtitles