1 00:00:05,361 --> 00:00:07,161 _ 2 00:00:07,749 --> 00:00:10,084 - Where's Tyler? - Oh, he's picking up his girlfriend. 3 00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:12,320 I can't believe I'm saying that. 4 00:00:12,322 --> 00:00:14,088 I can't wait to meet her. 5 00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:16,257 Do you remember when he used to say that he wanted to marry me? 6 00:00:16,259 --> 00:00:17,675 - No. - Well, I do. 7 00:00:17,795 --> 00:00:19,532 We were gonna take our honeymoon at Epcot. 8 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,328 There's something 9 00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:23,297 so sweet about 10 00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:25,399 your first little girlfriend. 11 00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:27,701 - She's not that little. - Oh, big one, huh? 12 00:00:27,703 --> 00:00:30,237 Well, any port in a storm. 13 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,439 All right, guys, take it easy on him. 14 00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:33,841 I'm sure the kid is nervous. 15 00:00:33,843 --> 00:00:35,776 So everybody just be cool, give him his space, 16 00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:37,011 you know, when he walks in here 17 00:00:37,013 --> 00:00:38,212 with a full-grown woman. 18 00:00:38,214 --> 00:00:40,547 Hi, everyone, this is Clementine. 19 00:00:40,549 --> 00:00:42,283 Hi. 20 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,319 Wow, wow. 21 00:00:45,321 --> 00:00:47,488 Wow. Wo... Look at... 22 00:00:47,490 --> 00:00:49,289 all of you. Just... 23 00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:50,824 Hi. 24 00:00:50,826 --> 00:00:53,127 So nice to finally meet you all. 25 00:00:53,129 --> 00:00:54,428 And you as well. 26 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,629 That was loud. 27 00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:58,899 We always enjoy welcoming a new person 28 00:00:58,901 --> 00:01:02,569 - into our familial enclave. - Thank you. 29 00:01:02,571 --> 00:01:05,772 So, you two are fellow styoo-dents? 30 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:06,974 Why are you talking like that? 31 00:01:06,976 --> 00:01:09,109 Don't interrupt your father, son. 32 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,478 You know, here, in the Clan Hughes, 33 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,914 we have a long history in our family... 34 00:01:13,916 --> 00:01:15,716 I'm trying to find... What's the exact word 35 00:01:15,718 --> 00:01:17,918 to articulate the-the sense, the real... 36 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,387 I-I-I... need to see you in the kitchen for one second. 37 00:01:20,389 --> 00:01:22,356 Ah, a brief recess while I retrieve my pipe. 38 00:01:22,358 --> 00:01:23,890 Be right... 39 00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:26,860 I thought she was supposed to be fat. 40 00:01:26,862 --> 00:01:28,528 Parts of her are. 41 00:01:28,530 --> 00:01:30,697 - What is coming out of your mouth? - Did I say boobs? 42 00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:32,966 No, but you're talking like you're Little Lord Fauntleroy. 43 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,935 I freaked out. I don't know, I don't know what to say. 44 00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:37,370 I was, I was expecting some mousy little chest club girl. 45 00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:40,273 - What's chest club? - I don't know, but she's the president of it. 46 00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:41,775 Look, I was just trying to sound impressive 47 00:01:41,777 --> 00:01:43,243 so she thinks she's joining a good family. 48 00:01:43,245 --> 00:01:45,612 Hey, hey, hey... we are a good family. 49 00:01:45,614 --> 00:01:47,847 It is her job to impress us. 50 00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:49,416 Mission accomplished. 51 00:01:49,418 --> 00:01:51,484 Well, listen, I got to go put some pepper on the "potatas". 52 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,319 - Potatoes. - I... It's contagious. 53 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,021 - All right. - Just be normal. 54 00:01:55,023 --> 00:01:56,289 I don't know... Well, I'm in my head now. 55 00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:57,357 I'm just gonna avoid her. 56 00:01:57,359 --> 00:01:58,992 - Good plan. - Yeah. 57 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,765 - Yeah, I'm not standing next to that. - What? 58 00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:08,067 Oh, wow. 59 00:02:08,069 --> 00:02:11,337 She is... 60 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,340 not as pretty as you are. 61 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,876 Nope, not by a mile. 62 00:02:16,878 --> 00:02:18,211 You really stuck the landing there. 63 00:02:18,213 --> 00:02:19,946 Thanks. 64 00:02:19,948 --> 00:02:22,382 So, nobody's saying anything. Do you guys not like her? 65 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,818 She's really cool. She gets Radiohead on, like, 66 00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:28,287 a deep level. We're both really into molecular gastronomy, 67 00:02:28,289 --> 00:02:30,323 you know, even though neither of us have tried it. 68 00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:31,858 But it's like we're totally connected 69 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,226 even though she's older, you know? 70 00:02:33,228 --> 00:02:34,160 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 71 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,632 - How old? - 18. 72 00:02:35,964 --> 00:02:38,164 Come here. Dude, that is, like, a number ten body. 18? 73 00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:41,867 - Proud of you, man. - I knew it. You champion. 74 00:02:43,203 --> 00:02:45,638 - I'm sorry. - Um, so, uh, 75 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,540 Tyler tells me that you're a doctor? 76 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,177 He shouldn't... I'm-I'm a ear, nose and throat doctor, yes. 77 00:02:51,179 --> 00:02:53,579 Yes. Sometimes I-I do... I like to say "troat", 78 00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:56,015 though, like a 1930s bad guy. 79 00:02:56,017 --> 00:02:57,883 Let me see you troat, see? 80 00:02:57,885 --> 00:02:59,085 I do a lot of characters. 81 00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:00,753 Well, uh, what's your favorite kind of doctor? 82 00:03:00,755 --> 00:03:02,955 - Regular? - Regular doctor. Very good. 83 00:03:02,957 --> 00:03:04,757 Good, regular doctor. Nurse, get in here! 84 00:03:04,759 --> 00:03:06,992 That's a regular doctor. I also do female characters. 85 00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:08,794 I think I know who did it. 86 00:03:08,796 --> 00:03:10,129 It's Angela Lansbury from 87 00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:11,931 Murder, She Wrote. That was a very dangerous town. 88 00:03:11,933 --> 00:03:13,918 She was super hot when she was young, too. 89 00:03:14,038 --> 00:03:16,590 Not that you're hot. I wasn't saying that. I wasn't looking at that. 90 00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,103 - 'Cause I took an oath. - All right, let's go. 91 00:03:18,105 --> 00:03:20,372 - Oh, I made a mess of that. - Oh, yeah, you did. 92 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,207 Hi, I'm Greg. 93 00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:24,777 - Nope. - Wow, that was quick. 94 00:03:25,979 --> 00:03:27,713 Where's his starter girlfriend? 95 00:03:27,715 --> 00:03:29,748 You know? The freckly-faced nerd that he's 96 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:31,917 supposed to hold hands with and make mix tapes for? 97 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,387 Oh, no, he went straight to the "I sold an app" girlfriend. 98 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:38,023 It's hard, it's hard. 99 00:03:38,025 --> 00:03:40,092 You were only four years older than Tyler 100 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,627 when you got pregnant. 101 00:03:41,629 --> 00:03:43,095 I'm not ready for this. 102 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,931 You never will be. So you do what I did. 103 00:03:45,933 --> 00:03:47,933 You let the first two go 104 00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:51,236 and you baby the third one until you die. 105 00:03:51,238 --> 00:03:54,139 Here, honey. I pulled out all the celery pieces. 106 00:03:54,141 --> 00:03:56,408 - Oh. Thanks, Mom. - You're welcome. 107 00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,110 Oh, the fork. 108 00:03:59,846 --> 00:04:01,646 Do us all a favor... 109 00:04:01,648 --> 00:04:03,281 and don't do that. 110 00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:04,749 I shan't. 111 00:04:04,751 --> 00:04:06,418 - Dad, what did you do? - Hmm? 112 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,919 Clementine said you were being weird. 113 00:04:07,921 --> 00:04:09,354 What?! No. 114 00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:12,023 All right, listen. 115 00:04:12,025 --> 00:04:13,892 This'll probably come as a bit of a surprise to you, 116 00:04:13,894 --> 00:04:16,761 but your old man wasn't always the smoothest with girls. 117 00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:19,064 I was just trying to be nice without being creepy. 118 00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:24,736 Did you just wink at her? 119 00:04:24,738 --> 00:04:26,371 I did. I've never winked at anybody in my life. 120 00:04:26,373 --> 00:04:28,106 I don't know what's going on here. I'm not ready for this. 121 00:04:28,108 --> 00:04:29,541 Take some money. Go. 122 00:04:31,578 --> 00:04:33,812 Okay, everybody. Thank you so much for helping 123 00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,947 warm up our new house. 124 00:04:35,949 --> 00:04:38,083 We can't wait to make many memories here 125 00:04:38,085 --> 00:04:39,851 with our family and-and our new people. 126 00:04:39,853 --> 00:04:41,219 Clementine. 127 00:04:41,221 --> 00:04:42,887 - So... - Hear, hear! 128 00:04:42,889 --> 00:04:44,055 - I should go. - Yeah. 129 00:04:44,057 --> 00:04:45,623 We're just, um... 130 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:48,259 You know, this is-is new for us. 131 00:04:48,261 --> 00:04:51,411 I mean, we-we can't believe that our little boy is dating. 132 00:04:51,531 --> 00:04:52,137 Mom. 133 00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:54,014 You remember when you used to want to marry me? 134 00:04:54,134 --> 00:04:57,468 - Mom. - Those were... Sorry... good times. 135 00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:59,604 Um, okay, so... 136 00:04:59,606 --> 00:05:01,806 to boobs. 137 00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:05,376 Oh, my God. 138 00:05:07,146 --> 00:05:08,646 Did I just say "boobs"? 139 00:05:08,648 --> 00:05:09,881 Oh, yeah, yeah, you did. 140 00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,149 I'm so sorry. 141 00:05:11,151 --> 00:05:12,550 I mean, I'm not sorry that you have them. 142 00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:13,551 I'm sorry, uh... 143 00:05:13,553 --> 00:05:15,319 What a lovely toast. 144 00:05:16,221 --> 00:05:17,756 Cheers, honey. 145 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,380 _ 146 00:05:22,928 --> 00:05:24,395 You should take the stairs. 147 00:05:24,397 --> 00:05:27,165 - Oh, no, I've been working out on Tim's Bowflex. - No. 148 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:29,400 So nobody sees us walking into the office together. 149 00:05:29,402 --> 00:05:30,935 It's like 15 flights. Why can't I just 150 00:05:30,937 --> 00:05:32,169 wait for the next elevator? 151 00:05:32,171 --> 00:05:34,604 - No. There's a ban on interoffice dating. - Right. 152 00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:36,240 That's why there's no restrictions on porn sites. 153 00:05:36,242 --> 00:05:38,276 - There's not? - Nope, not even the animal stuff. 154 00:05:38,278 --> 00:05:39,844 - Really? - Doris has a fetish. 155 00:05:39,846 --> 00:05:42,246 That's not surprising. - You can't date a coworker, though. 156 00:05:42,248 --> 00:05:43,199 - Well, that's ridiculous. - I know. 157 00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:45,516 I mean, who are these people to stand in the way of love? 158 00:05:45,518 --> 00:05:47,518 - Love? - Like. 159 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,919 That's not what you said. 160 00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:51,288 - You don't have that on tape. - You sure about that? 161 00:05:52,324 --> 00:05:54,024 - Damn it. - See? 162 00:05:54,026 --> 00:05:55,159 - We have to be careful. - Fine. 163 00:05:55,161 --> 00:05:57,695 Okay. Stairs. 164 00:06:03,535 --> 00:06:05,135 I got it. 165 00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:07,738 And this, my man, is how you beat the system. 166 00:06:08,573 --> 00:06:09,974 Aha! 167 00:06:10,775 --> 00:06:13,077 Aw, snoozytime tea. 168 00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:14,278 Ow! 169 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,779 Hey, uh, you mind if I get a second press off that? 170 00:06:15,781 --> 00:06:17,247 Still good, right? 171 00:06:17,249 --> 00:06:18,749 - It's all yours, man. - All right. 172 00:06:18,751 --> 00:06:23,554 My man. 173 00:06:23,556 --> 00:06:25,956 Damn. Forget the coffee. 174 00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:27,758 - I want to grind my beans on that. - Okay. 175 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,226 - Well, I'll see you later. - Hey, 176 00:06:29,228 --> 00:06:31,295 what is your deal lately, Matt? 177 00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:33,163 Did HR talk to you, too? 178 00:06:33,165 --> 00:06:35,499 Oh, no, no, I'm just not into her. 179 00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:37,968 - You're not? - No. 180 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:40,137 Then, who's your fantasy office bang? 181 00:06:40,139 --> 00:06:42,205 It's, uh... 182 00:06:42,207 --> 00:06:43,707 Doris. 183 00:06:43,709 --> 00:06:45,575 Doris? 184 00:06:45,577 --> 00:06:47,244 Rock your world, man. 185 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,715 Huh. 186 00:06:51,717 --> 00:06:53,016 So what are you getting for lunch? 187 00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:54,718 I don't know. Something nasty. 188 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,587 Time cards. 189 00:06:57,589 --> 00:06:59,856 Whoa. 190 00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:02,559 Is there something going on between you two? 191 00:07:02,561 --> 00:07:03,793 - What? - What? 192 00:07:03,795 --> 00:07:05,095 Because I feel like there's 193 00:07:05,097 --> 00:07:07,764 romance tension rising up in here, 194 00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:10,467 and if you're dating, that's trouble. 195 00:07:10,469 --> 00:07:11,835 - Oh, no. No, no, no. - Oh, my God, no. 196 00:07:11,837 --> 00:07:13,637 - That's not... no, not it at all. - That's absurd. 197 00:07:13,639 --> 00:07:14,871 - No, no, wouldn't be possible. No way, no. - That's like not even... 198 00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:16,206 - It's, like, totally against the rules. - No. 199 00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:17,941 - We're not. - Gross. He's a nobody. 200 00:07:17,943 --> 00:07:19,542 Yeah, you don't think I could do better than this? 201 00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:24,981 Please, please, please. 202 00:07:25,950 --> 00:07:27,984 Come here. Please come here. 203 00:07:27,986 --> 00:07:30,253 Uh... 204 00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:32,355 Is this the forbidden executive lounge? 205 00:07:32,357 --> 00:07:33,857 Yeah, don't change the subject. 206 00:07:33,859 --> 00:07:35,491 You could do better than this? 207 00:07:35,493 --> 00:07:36,759 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. 208 00:07:36,761 --> 00:07:38,561 You said that I was a nobody. 209 00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:40,263 - I was acting. - Yeah, so was I. 210 00:07:40,265 --> 00:07:42,231 You're always telling me that you want to role-play, so I was role-playing. 211 00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:43,833 Yeah, role-playing, like period piece role-playing. 212 00:07:43,835 --> 00:07:45,268 Like, wenches and innkeepers. 213 00:07:45,270 --> 00:07:46,536 I'm freaking out. 214 00:07:46,538 --> 00:07:47,770 Okay, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay. 215 00:07:47,772 --> 00:07:49,505 We can't let anyone know about any of this. 216 00:07:49,507 --> 00:07:50,673 Okay, okay, okay. 217 00:07:50,675 --> 00:07:52,008 - You're right. - Okay? 218 00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:54,110 And-and, you know, 219 00:07:54,112 --> 00:07:56,813 - for the record... - Mm-hmm. 220 00:07:56,815 --> 00:07:58,748 I-I don't think that I can do better than you. 221 00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,683 Oh, my God. Thank you. 222 00:08:00,685 --> 00:08:02,218 Yeah. 223 00:08:04,956 --> 00:08:07,456 Oh! 224 00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:08,858 - Excuse me. - Mm, sorry. 225 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,726 So, I, um... 226 00:08:10,728 --> 00:08:12,662 will get back to you about that 227 00:08:12,664 --> 00:08:14,430 - Mm-hmm. - in just a... 228 00:08:14,432 --> 00:08:17,199 - minute. - Mm-hmm. 229 00:08:21,339 --> 00:08:23,205 You guys are. 230 00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:27,276 Breaking all the rules. Breaking all the rules. 231 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,314 Knock, knock. Are you busy? 232 00:08:32,316 --> 00:08:33,849 Uh, hello. 233 00:08:33,851 --> 00:08:36,352 - Hey. - Just... 234 00:08:36,354 --> 00:08:37,553 have a seat. 235 00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:40,089 - So, uh, Matt and I talked, - Mm-hmm. 236 00:08:40,091 --> 00:08:43,445 - And it's all g-g-g-g-g-g-good. - Okay. 237 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,893 You know, I'm going to keep it on the D-low. 238 00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:47,296 - Mm-hmm. - The down low. The down diggity low. 239 00:08:47,298 --> 00:08:49,098 - Okay, I got it. Yeah. - How low can you go? 240 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,299 Got it. Thanks. 241 00:08:50,301 --> 00:08:52,501 - XXL. Extra, extra low. - Thanks. Yeah. I got it. 242 00:08:52,503 --> 00:08:54,470 Oh, I, uh, have those numbers 243 00:08:54,472 --> 00:08:56,405 that you were asking Matt about. 244 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,309 Anyway, I got to split. 245 00:09:00,311 --> 00:09:04,046 But, um, I like you two as a couple. 246 00:09:04,048 --> 00:09:06,615 There's something real sexy about it. 247 00:09:06,617 --> 00:09:08,717 Covertly sexy. 248 00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,356 - I can't keep this up. - What? 249 00:09:14,358 --> 00:09:16,058 Everything feels so gross now, 250 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:17,626 like we've negotiated with a terrorist 251 00:09:17,628 --> 00:09:20,028 which seemed fine until the terrorist asked me 252 00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:22,397 if you had dumped your files on my work chest. 253 00:09:22,399 --> 00:09:23,999 Okay, look, the guy is an idiot. We can ignore him. 254 00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:25,300 - I don't know. - Right? 255 00:09:25,302 --> 00:09:28,170 Ah, if it isn't Romeo and Juliet. 256 00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:29,404 Hey, I was just thinking. 257 00:09:29,406 --> 00:09:30,872 I'm sitting on a gold mine here. 258 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,675 So, I want your parking space 259 00:09:33,677 --> 00:09:35,143 and... I want, 260 00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:37,245 I don't know, your tie. 261 00:09:37,247 --> 00:09:39,214 I mean, I don't even like it, but I'll do something with it. 262 00:09:39,216 --> 00:09:40,949 I'll wrap it around my head like the Karate Kid, or whatever. 263 00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:42,951 And if you do that, we'll keep it on the XXL. 264 00:09:42,953 --> 00:09:44,619 The extra, extra low. 265 00:09:44,621 --> 00:09:45,954 Ya follow? 266 00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:48,156 We're so screwed. 267 00:09:48,158 --> 00:09:49,824 No... 268 00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:51,559 Ten years of kissing ass at this place 269 00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:54,763 and I have to go fall in like with a coworker. 270 00:09:56,966 --> 00:09:59,968 An ex-coworker. 271 00:10:00,736 --> 00:10:02,937 Excuse me. 272 00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:06,007 Um, excuse me, everyone. 273 00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:09,010 I quit. 274 00:10:10,813 --> 00:10:12,347 So there's that. 275 00:10:12,349 --> 00:10:13,548 What are you doing? 276 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,487 I will see you Saturday. 277 00:10:19,489 --> 00:10:20,855 Okay. 278 00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,227 I like this. 279 00:10:30,632 --> 00:10:32,333 If I can't have a cell phone, 280 00:10:32,335 --> 00:10:34,035 you guys should at least put down yours 281 00:10:34,037 --> 00:10:35,636 so we can eat like a family. 282 00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,260 _ 283 00:10:48,026 --> 00:10:49,126 I want a phone. 284 00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:50,754 You can't have a phone until you're 12. You know that. 285 00:10:50,756 --> 00:10:53,390 Why 12? That's so arbitrary. 286 00:10:53,392 --> 00:10:55,192 'Cause that's when you're old enough to be responsible for it. 287 00:10:55,194 --> 00:10:58,528 You guys lose your phone every time you go to wine tastings. 288 00:10:59,498 --> 00:11:01,498 For real? 289 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,835 It's just a lady trapped in a lawn chair. 290 00:11:04,837 --> 00:11:05,902 Forward me that. 291 00:11:07,272 --> 00:11:08,638 if I can't have a cell phone, 292 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,373 you guys should at least put down yours 293 00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:12,175 so we can eat like a family. 294 00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:14,144 Yeah, that's a great idea. 295 00:11:14,146 --> 00:11:15,679 Yes... 296 00:11:15,681 --> 00:11:17,514 we should do... 297 00:11:20,117 --> 00:11:22,319 Yeah. 298 00:11:23,722 --> 00:11:26,590 She can't get out of there. 299 00:11:27,726 --> 00:11:29,759 Give it. 300 00:11:30,359 --> 00:11:32,793 So they want you to be 12, huh? 301 00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:35,763 Seems like a long time to wait. 302 00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:38,866 And the worst part is, it won't be magical when I'm 12. 303 00:11:38,868 --> 00:11:41,335 It'll just be another thing to shrug at. 304 00:11:41,337 --> 00:11:44,438 'Cause the little girl inside me will be dead. 305 00:11:45,507 --> 00:11:47,341 She's gonna die? 306 00:11:47,343 --> 00:11:50,444 She's already dying. 307 00:11:55,317 --> 00:11:57,084 Get in the car. 308 00:11:57,086 --> 00:11:59,186 I cannot believe this is happening. 309 00:11:59,188 --> 00:12:01,855 I'm going to be able to text you now, Pop-Pop. 310 00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:04,565 Don't you dare ever grow up. 311 00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,133 I won't have to, now. 312 00:12:06,135 --> 00:12:08,469 I'll be happy forever. 313 00:12:08,471 --> 00:12:10,571 Pop-Pop's little honey bunny. 314 00:12:10,573 --> 00:12:12,306 - Boop, boop. - Ha. 315 00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:16,443 Who's texting you so late? 316 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,279 Huh? Oh, I think it's more fun if we have our little secrets, 317 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:20,647 don't you? 318 00:12:20,649 --> 00:12:23,283 Oh, you're right. 319 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,687 I shouldn't ask if I don't want to tell. 320 00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,322 Tell what? 321 00:12:28,324 --> 00:12:30,157 Joanie? 322 00:12:34,263 --> 00:12:36,396 How do you type a firework? 323 00:12:36,398 --> 00:12:38,765 Oh, hey there, little Ms. Pocketbook. 324 00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:40,734 Such a lady. 325 00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:42,469 Yup. 326 00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,204 Excuse me. Ripped one. 327 00:12:45,741 --> 00:12:48,175 That's what happens when you make me eat vegetables. 328 00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:50,077 Little crop duster. 329 00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:52,479 Okay, I'm calling you right now. 330 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,114 Ha! Look at that. 331 00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:55,582 Your sweet little face pops up. 332 00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:56,850 It'll do it every time I call. 333 00:12:56,852 --> 00:12:58,051 Isn't that so cool? 334 00:12:58,053 --> 00:12:59,219 Ooh, I love that. 335 00:12:59,221 --> 00:13:01,488 All right, who's up for some ice cream? 336 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,423 I'm going to go call you from my backyard. 337 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,393 But ice cream? 338 00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:08,628 I just love the Price Club. 339 00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:10,997 I mean, they got everything there. 340 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,099 - They even had a book signing last week. - Oh... 341 00:13:13,101 --> 00:13:16,353 - The Diary of a Wimpy Kid guy. - That's so cute. 342 00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:18,819 - You read those... - Oh, my gosh... 343 00:13:18,939 --> 00:13:21,763 - uh, those Wimpy Kid books? - I have to forward that. 344 00:13:23,994 --> 00:13:25,345 Sophia? 345 00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:30,517 Uh-oh. 346 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:38,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 347 00:13:44,799 --> 00:13:47,033 I-Is something bothering you, sweetheart? 348 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,168 I think I really screwed up, Joanie. 349 00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:52,371 I'm too embarrassed to even tell you. 350 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,174 Well, use the hypothetical, if that helps. 351 00:13:55,176 --> 00:13:56,909 Oh, yeah. 352 00:13:56,911 --> 00:13:59,212 A friend of mine... 353 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,547 went and bought his granddaughter a cell phone. 354 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,382 You dumb son of a bitch! 355 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,117 I said it was a friend of mine. 356 00:14:05,119 --> 00:14:07,420 You have to tell Heather. You have to. 357 00:14:07,422 --> 00:14:09,689 - She has rules about these things. - I didn't fly 358 00:14:09,691 --> 00:14:12,725 in two wars to have my daughter tell me what to do. 359 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,360 Now, you tell her for me. 360 00:14:14,362 --> 00:14:17,930 Uh, she gets really scary when she's mad. 361 00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:20,566 Oh, please. Honey, 362 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,270 it just is so dumb. 363 00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:25,404 I'm sorry. 364 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,173 I just love seeing her happy, 365 00:14:27,175 --> 00:14:30,009 and I-I made a mistake. 366 00:14:30,011 --> 00:14:31,110 So just 367 00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:32,711 take it easy on her, you know, 368 00:14:32,713 --> 00:14:35,080 like, give her a toy or a cookie. 369 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,550 Ice cream. Bring her some ice cream 370 00:14:37,552 --> 00:14:40,019 and then tell her. 371 00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:42,821 Oh. Oh, you-you think that I'm gonna tell her. 372 00:14:42,823 --> 00:14:43,989 What? 373 00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:44,990 Oh, no. 374 00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,358 You bought her the cell phone, 375 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,760 so you can take it away. 376 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,128 Have fun with that. 377 00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:51,063 Maybe you get her some ice cream, 378 00:14:51,065 --> 00:14:52,898 a really nice toy. 379 00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,533 Should be a good time. 380 00:14:54,535 --> 00:14:55,901 Oh, no. Please. 381 00:14:55,903 --> 00:14:57,503 No, she's so scary when she's mad. 382 00:14:57,505 --> 00:15:01,573 Heather. Heather? 383 00:15:01,575 --> 00:15:04,142 Anyway, it seems that Pop-Pops 384 00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:06,912 make mistakes, too, I guess. 385 00:15:06,914 --> 00:15:08,780 I'm so sorry, angel. 386 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,983 I thought you were different. 387 00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,331 - Soph... - It's okay. 388 00:15:12,451 --> 00:15:14,698 I guess you have to be sad sometimes 389 00:15:14,946 --> 00:15:16,611 to know what happy feels like. 390 00:15:17,423 --> 00:15:18,623 I got an idea. 391 00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:19,925 Um... 392 00:15:19,927 --> 00:15:22,060 you want to get your ears pierced? 393 00:15:22,062 --> 00:15:22,861 Really?! 394 00:15:24,531 --> 00:15:25,730 Can we go right now? 395 00:15:25,732 --> 00:15:27,766 Um... Mmm. 396 00:15:27,768 --> 00:15:30,202 Now? 397 00:15:38,499 --> 00:15:40,399 _ 398 00:15:40,666 --> 00:15:42,967 Nope. Higher, higher, higher. 399 00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:44,996 - The light fixture. The light fixture. - Ah, got him. Got him. 400 00:15:45,243 --> 00:15:45,945 He's playing with you. 401 00:15:46,065 --> 00:15:47,005 - He's playing with your mind. - I know. 402 00:15:47,307 --> 00:15:49,107 Oh. Ooh. 403 00:15:49,109 --> 00:15:51,075 Messing with you. He thinks he's bad. 404 00:15:51,077 --> 00:15:52,810 He thinks he's bad to the bone. Here we go. 405 00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:55,313 - Superfly, I got you. I got you. I got... - Okay. 406 00:15:55,315 --> 00:15:58,516 Oh, God. 407 00:15:58,518 --> 00:16:00,618 What do we do? 408 00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:03,955 Um... You know what? 409 00:16:03,957 --> 00:16:06,958 You know what? No, I-I refuse to be 410 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,126 one of those 411 00:16:08,128 --> 00:16:10,228 germophobic, new, 412 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,163 high-strung parents. Like, 413 00:16:12,165 --> 00:16:13,765 why? For why? 414 00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,134 - Okay. I don't want to do it. - You know? 415 00:16:16,136 --> 00:16:17,969 - So lame. No. - Who wants to be that guy? 416 00:16:17,971 --> 00:16:20,104 - Not me. Cool parents. - No. You know? 417 00:16:20,106 --> 00:16:21,906 We're cool. We're not those people. 418 00:16:21,908 --> 00:16:24,008 - We're not. - Let's leave this to the crazy parents. 419 00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:25,877 - Yes. - Crazy parents can disinfect that 420 00:16:25,879 --> 00:16:27,778 in some, you know, organic soap, 421 00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,614 chant a prayer over it, you know, boil it. 422 00:16:29,616 --> 00:16:31,449 - Me, I'm not giving it one more thought. - Great. 423 00:16:31,451 --> 00:16:35,319 - Great. Done. Fabulous. - Great. Right? Out of sight, out of mind. 424 00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:37,255 Be right back. 425 00:16:37,451 --> 00:16:38,884 Not thinking about it. I'm still not thinking about it. 426 00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:40,552 That's how much I don't care. 427 00:16:40,554 --> 00:16:42,521 I've never even thought about it since. 428 00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:57,402 What? What is it? 429 00:16:57,404 --> 00:17:00,338 That skunk is back. He almost got me again. 430 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:02,107 The skunk is back? 431 00:17:05,244 --> 00:17:05,777 We looked each other 432 00:17:05,779 --> 00:17:08,279 right in the eye, and then he turned his ass on me. 433 00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:10,882 - He let you look at his other eye. - Yeah. Winked at me. 434 00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:14,786 - He cock the trigger? - Locked and loaded. 435 00:17:14,788 --> 00:17:16,821 Yeah, so it's-it's pretty much just been running around 436 00:17:16,823 --> 00:17:18,356 the front yard every night. 437 00:17:18,358 --> 00:17:21,226 Oh, yeah. They's creatures of habit. 438 00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:25,496 Once he got hisself a routine, he hardly break from it. 439 00:17:25,498 --> 00:17:27,131 But don't you worry... we'll catch him. 440 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,132 And, uh, what kind of bait 441 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,267 is... 442 00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:31,402 - the, uh... is that? - That's 443 00:17:31,404 --> 00:17:32,570 Elegant Kitty cat food. 444 00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:34,272 - Uh, oh. - It's the good stuff. 445 00:17:34,274 --> 00:17:36,174 This is expired, though. 446 00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:38,443 Yeah, it's a good thing skunks can't read no sell-by date. 447 00:17:38,445 --> 00:17:41,646 If he could, probably be too smart for me to catch him. 448 00:17:42,648 --> 00:17:43,881 You mind if I use your john? 449 00:17:45,218 --> 00:17:46,517 Uh... 450 00:17:46,519 --> 00:17:48,953 - W... - Uh... 451 00:17:48,955 --> 00:17:50,221 "John" means "turlet". 452 00:17:50,223 --> 00:17:53,424 - Y-Yeah. - Right. Right. 453 00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:55,226 I wouldn't ask, 'cept it's an emergency. 454 00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:57,028 Sure. 455 00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,496 Right. Um... 456 00:17:58,498 --> 00:17:59,564 I'd like to do that now. 457 00:17:59,566 --> 00:18:01,832 - Yeah. Okay. - Uh, uh... aah. 458 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:05,171 Just, uh, come on in. 459 00:18:05,173 --> 00:18:06,773 Uh, it's just right down the hall, 460 00:18:06,975 --> 00:18:08,675 - second door on your right. Yeah. - Thank you. 461 00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:11,078 I-I'm sorry, uh, can you take your boots off? 462 00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,080 We just... We have a little baby. 463 00:18:14,082 --> 00:18:16,449 I got nine kids, 464 00:18:16,451 --> 00:18:18,384 all boys and girls. 465 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:25,998 I cannot believe you let that man into our house. 466 00:18:26,118 --> 00:18:27,683 His socks are leaking. 467 00:18:28,179 --> 00:18:29,298 - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Oh, no, no, no, 468 00:18:29,338 --> 00:18:30,059 - wrong door! - No, no, no, no! 469 00:18:32,173 --> 00:18:33,299 I went in the wrong door. 470 00:18:33,701 --> 00:18:34,568 - Yeah. - Yeah. 471 00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,202 Looks like he was getting up anyway. 472 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:37,578 She. 473 00:18:38,606 --> 00:18:41,106 Oh, God. 474 00:18:42,938 --> 00:18:45,299 She smell like... Japanese candy. 475 00:18:45,852 --> 00:18:47,988 You know, with the tic-tac-toe game on the outside. 476 00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:54,988 Found it. 477 00:18:56,578 --> 00:18:57,690 What is taking so long? 478 00:18:57,964 --> 00:18:59,396 Took me less time to give birth. 479 00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:00,935 Yeah, and you made less noise. 480 00:19:02,585 --> 00:19:05,887 Well, you-you might want to have a plumber look in there. 481 00:19:06,175 --> 00:19:07,562 Having some trouble going down. 482 00:19:08,317 --> 00:19:10,432 I'd've pushed it if I had my boots on. 483 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,106 But y'all are fussy. 484 00:19:13,645 --> 00:19:15,356 Uh, yeah, that's... 485 00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:18,208 that's okay. We were... we were gonna get a new toilet 486 00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,947 - tomorrow anyway, so... - New baby, new toilet, like they say. 487 00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:23,649 - That's what they say. - That's a real cute boy you got there. 488 00:19:24,451 --> 00:19:26,161 Yeah. We have to get some bows for her hair. 489 00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:27,158 - Oh. - Ooh! I got it. 490 00:19:27,278 --> 00:19:28,387 No, please... No, no, no. 491 00:19:28,389 --> 00:19:29,421 Five-second rule. 492 00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:30,558 It's scientific. 493 00:19:30,678 --> 00:19:31,578 No. Oh, please. Oh-oh, my God. 494 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,636 Germs can't live if they only got five seconds 495 00:19:33,664 --> 00:19:34,662 to attach themselves. 496 00:19:36,893 --> 00:19:38,893 I know. 497 00:19:46,455 --> 00:19:48,522 Is this cleanser too strong? 498 00:19:48,524 --> 00:19:49,628 Uh, I hope so. 499 00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,245 I bought it at the Mexican market. 500 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,298 There are no rules there. 501 00:19:52,348 --> 00:19:53,695 No, no. I mean the fumes. 502 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,936 Is it too strong for the baby? 503 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,093 I mean, I'm-I'm sure... 504 00:19:57,213 --> 00:19:58,164 I'm sure it's fine, right? 505 00:19:59,550 --> 00:20:00,339 Is it? 506 00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:01,924 No. 507 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,722 I'll get the windows. 508 00:20:04,339 --> 00:20:07,274 Got it. I'm just gonna open this door 509 00:20:07,276 --> 00:20:09,609 - a little bit, just air her out. - Okay. 510 00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,716 - It's happening, isn't it? 511 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:12,506 - We're the crazy parents? - Yeah. 512 00:20:12,626 --> 00:20:14,740 Yeah. But our baby is going to live forever. 513 00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,031 She'll be like the Highlander. 514 00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:17,902 Oh, yeah. People will travel from thousands 515 00:20:17,941 --> 00:20:19,708 of miles just to touch the hem of her garment. 516 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,760 - As long as they wash their hands. - Oh, I love you so much. 517 00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:23,451 I love you. I'm gonna get the back door. 518 00:20:23,571 --> 00:20:24,628 Yeah, I'll get the bedroom. 519 00:20:30,331 --> 00:20:32,666 - Hey, did you get the baby's room? - Nope, not yet. 520 00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:35,731 Smell that? The neighbors are having a party. 521 00:20:36,946 --> 00:20:38,503 It's the good stuff. You can tell. 522 00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:39,807 Yeah. Seriously. 523 00:20:40,512 --> 00:20:42,704 Oh, look, she's so cute, asleep in her... 524 00:20:42,746 --> 00:20:44,202 Skunk! 525 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,066 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 526 00:20:47,305 --> 00:20:53,273 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org