1 00:00:04,887 --> 00:00:06,687 _ 2 00:00:07,142 --> 00:00:08,708 (laughing): No, it's... 3 00:00:08,710 --> 00:00:10,376 what are you... 4 00:00:10,649 --> 00:00:12,078 this is nice, isn't it? 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,546 You know, walking home from dinner? 6 00:00:13,548 --> 00:00:14,947 We should do this more often. 7 00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:16,249 Yeah. 8 00:00:16,251 --> 00:00:17,550 Or we could just drink less. 9 00:00:17,552 --> 00:00:19,085 Then we can drive home. 10 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,553 True. Hey, look at this. 11 00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:22,422 Tyler's school. 12 00:00:22,424 --> 00:00:24,190 - Oh... - It's a nice place to just 13 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,707 sit and do nothing, huh? 14 00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:26,910 - God knows that's all Tyler - Yeah. 15 00:00:26,929 --> 00:00:28,248 - ever does, come on! - (laughing) 16 00:00:29,274 --> 00:00:30,897 Hey, I'm, uh, 17 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:33,000 I'm pretty funny when I'm buzzed. 18 00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:34,066 You are. 19 00:00:34,272 --> 00:00:35,845 (sighs) And tired. 20 00:00:35,965 --> 00:00:37,837 We've only walked two blocks. 21 00:00:37,957 --> 00:00:38,375 Well... 22 00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:41,941 (laughs) You know, when I was in high school, 23 00:00:41,943 --> 00:00:44,644 we used to rearrange the letters on these signs all the time. 24 00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:45,878 It was a classic prank. 25 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,546 Oh, we did that, too! 26 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,219 BOTH: Yeah. 27 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:54,954 Yeah! 28 00:00:56,698 --> 00:00:58,162 (door closes) 29 00:00:59,055 --> 00:00:59,629 HEATHER: Hey! 30 00:00:59,749 --> 00:01:00,285 Hey. 31 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,761 Hey, buddy. How was school today? 32 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,864 Anything, uh, classic happen? 33 00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:06,165 No. 34 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,067 But someone messed with our marquee. 35 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,336 - Oh... - They changed "Freshman Elections" 36 00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:12,037 to "Fleshman Erections." 37 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,205 (both laughing) 38 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,373 What's so funny? 39 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,975 The school canceled our senior trip. 40 00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:17,176 Wait, wait, wait... what? 41 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,028 Yeah, they have 42 00:01:18,052 --> 00:01:19,712 a zero tolerance policy on vandalism. 43 00:01:19,714 --> 00:01:20,946 The cops are looking into it. 44 00:01:21,066 --> 00:01:21,522 Ooh. 45 00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:22,954 For switching around a couple letters? 46 00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,577 What...? What are they arresting 47 00:01:24,579 --> 00:01:26,967 people for doing crossword puzzles over there now... what? 48 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,561 Because of the nature of the message, 49 00:01:28,605 --> 00:01:30,433 they're actually considering it a sex crime. 50 00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:32,005 - Ooh! - Ah! Wow! 51 00:01:32,007 --> 00:01:33,573 Wow, that is... 52 00:01:33,575 --> 00:01:35,342 I mean, that, that is 53 00:01:35,870 --> 00:01:37,310 right out of left field. 54 00:01:37,312 --> 00:01:39,362 Yeah, well, until someone confesses, 55 00:01:39,409 --> 00:01:40,847 the senior trip is off. 56 00:01:40,849 --> 00:01:43,071 And Clementine was saying there was a chance we'd s... 57 00:01:43,994 --> 00:01:45,081 ski together. 58 00:01:45,576 --> 00:01:46,648 I thought you were going to Hoover Dam. 59 00:01:50,366 --> 00:01:52,292 Do you think they've skied together before? 60 00:01:53,103 --> 00:01:53,593 I don't know. 61 00:01:53,595 --> 00:01:54,961 I bet she's a great skier, though. 62 00:01:54,963 --> 00:01:56,529 Oh, God, please don't say that. 63 00:01:56,531 --> 00:01:58,665 WOMAN: You're Tyler's parents, right? 64 00:01:58,667 --> 00:01:59,478 How can I help you? 65 00:01:59,598 --> 00:02:00,967 Uh... well, we wanted 66 00:02:00,969 --> 00:02:03,118 to come down here and talk to you 67 00:02:03,142 --> 00:02:04,871 about the vandalized sign. 68 00:02:04,873 --> 00:02:07,607 Ah, yes, we've received many complaints. 69 00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:09,653 And some compliments, too, right? 70 00:02:09,689 --> 00:02:11,744 I mean, you have to admit it was pretty classic. 71 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,615 - I found it vulgar. - And vulgar. 72 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,310 And due to its sophomoric nature, 73 00:02:15,328 --> 00:02:16,983 we're certain it's a junior or senior. 74 00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:18,818 Okay, well, uh, 75 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,720 actually it-it was us. 76 00:02:21,091 --> 00:02:22,589 We did it and we are 77 00:02:22,849 --> 00:02:24,123 really sorry. 78 00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,636 We thought we should come down here and confess 79 00:02:26,661 --> 00:02:29,061 so that the senior trip can go ahead as planned. 80 00:02:29,063 --> 00:02:31,898 You're saying that you rearranged the sign? 81 00:02:32,144 --> 00:02:34,501 We were a little tipsy coming home from dinner, so... 82 00:02:34,577 --> 00:02:37,370 No, he was tipsy. I only had four. 83 00:02:37,932 --> 00:02:38,709 I see. 84 00:02:39,895 --> 00:02:41,954 Well, thank you for bringing this to my attention. 85 00:02:41,988 --> 00:02:43,893 I mean, we also, we just thought we wanted 86 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,722 to come down and model good behavior. 87 00:02:45,942 --> 00:02:47,413 - Right. - I mean, to-today! 88 00:02:47,415 --> 00:02:48,848 We weren't before, but we... 89 00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,816 Okay, well, I have other things to get to, so... 90 00:02:50,818 --> 00:02:51,537 Right. Yeah. 91 00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,219 Thank you for having us. 92 00:02:53,221 --> 00:02:54,687 (door closes) 93 00:02:56,526 --> 00:02:57,823 They think I did it. 94 00:02:58,529 --> 00:02:59,425 - What? - Yeah. 95 00:02:59,427 --> 00:03:01,727 Everyone can go on the senior trip now, but me. 96 00:03:02,186 --> 00:03:02,962 Principal Bundy said 97 00:03:02,964 --> 00:03:04,574 that you two came in to confess, 98 00:03:04,694 --> 00:03:05,865 which means that I did it, 99 00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:08,534 because no adult would do something so stupid. 100 00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:09,702 - It wasn't stupid. - Hey. 101 00:03:09,704 --> 00:03:12,071 - It was classic. - Thank you. 102 00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:13,937 Oh, my God. 103 00:03:14,371 --> 00:03:14,940 You did do it. 104 00:03:14,942 --> 00:03:16,375 What were you guys thinking? 105 00:03:17,383 --> 00:03:18,110 I don't know. 106 00:03:18,112 --> 00:03:19,311 (mumbles): "I don't know." 107 00:03:19,313 --> 00:03:20,279 That-that's really your answer? 108 00:03:20,281 --> 00:03:21,729 Are-are-are you mad at us? 109 00:03:22,164 --> 00:03:23,582 I'm not mad. 110 00:03:24,016 --> 00:03:25,050 I'm just disappointed. 111 00:03:25,052 --> 00:03:26,418 - Oh. - Hmm. 112 00:03:26,676 --> 00:03:27,519 - Tyler? - Mm-mm. 113 00:03:27,521 --> 00:03:28,620 Hey, come on! 114 00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:29,500 Hey, hey, hey! You know what? 115 00:03:29,512 --> 00:03:31,926 We will go in there tomorrow and we will fix this whole thing. 116 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,759 For once, I'd like to come home, 117 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,527 have a nice dinner with my family, 118 00:03:36,144 --> 00:03:38,259 do some homework and then go to sleep 119 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:39,898 without all this drama. 120 00:03:40,593 --> 00:03:41,540 Okay? 121 00:03:43,706 --> 00:03:45,309 - He's totally disappointed in you. - No, I told you... you did it! 122 00:03:45,337 --> 00:03:46,695 You're the one he's disappointed in. 123 00:03:46,739 --> 00:03:48,189 No, I told you that maybe we should go back... 124 00:03:48,225 --> 00:03:49,003 If you had just... 125 00:03:49,022 --> 00:03:50,128 and told her, and told her her sweater looked nice, 126 00:03:50,156 --> 00:03:51,506 we could've left this whole thing behind. 127 00:03:51,544 --> 00:03:51,975 Oh... 128 00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:54,679 (indistinct chatter) 129 00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:55,690 No, honey, look. 130 00:03:55,747 --> 00:03:58,432 This photo of your dad mooning the sign? 131 00:03:58,927 --> 00:04:00,582 That proves that you're innocent. 132 00:04:00,702 --> 00:04:01,486 GIRL: There he is. 133 00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:04,222 Tyler, heard you're the one who did the sign! 134 00:04:04,224 --> 00:04:05,690 No, no, I... 135 00:04:05,692 --> 00:04:06,791 That was hilarious. 136 00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:08,393 Thank you, finally. 137 00:04:08,395 --> 00:04:11,229 Are you here to make more excuses for your son? 138 00:04:11,231 --> 00:04:14,299 (kids clamoring in admiration) 139 00:04:16,532 --> 00:04:17,703 No. 140 00:04:17,704 --> 00:04:18,837 No, no, no, no. 141 00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:20,338 No, uh, we-we are here 142 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,673 to let him know once and for all 143 00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,107 that we are very disappointed 144 00:04:23,109 --> 00:04:25,677 in this inappropriate prank. 145 00:04:27,282 --> 00:04:27,861 Yeah. 146 00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:29,347 Even though it was a classic. 147 00:04:29,349 --> 00:04:31,783 Mm-hmm, that's right. 148 00:04:31,785 --> 00:04:33,017 (school bell rings) 149 00:04:33,387 --> 00:04:34,686 Who knew it was such a big deal? 150 00:04:34,688 --> 00:04:36,154 I mean, when we were in high school, 151 00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:37,922 pranks were just harmless fun. 152 00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:39,524 People are so sensitive now. 153 00:04:39,526 --> 00:04:41,527 I guess we'll just have to adapt. 154 00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:47,067 Aw, man, it's like they're begging us. 155 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,000 No, no, no, no, no! We-we got to walk away. 156 00:04:49,002 --> 00:04:49,857 We got to, we... 157 00:04:49,887 --> 00:04:52,003 - I don't know that I can! - Yeah, you can, you can. 158 00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:53,305 Walk away, walk away. 159 00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:55,229 _ 160 00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:57,253 _ 161 00:04:57,476 --> 00:04:59,143 - (knocking) - Come in. 162 00:04:59,145 --> 00:05:01,345 - Hi. - Hi, Jake. 163 00:05:01,347 --> 00:05:02,980 Sorry to interrupt. 164 00:05:02,982 --> 00:05:04,248 Oh, what is that? 165 00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,317 That is dinner for your family. 166 00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:07,223 What? 167 00:05:07,276 --> 00:05:08,326 I didn't want to let any 168 00:05:08,371 --> 00:05:09,511 of my cooking lessons go to waste. 169 00:05:09,556 --> 00:05:10,591 There's a blowtorch inside, 170 00:05:10,606 --> 00:05:12,189 so you can really scorch the duck. 171 00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:13,457 But tableside. 172 00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:15,310 Well, you know I like a scorched duck. 173 00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:17,365 Now, please, go home to that baby already. 174 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,762 Oh, her name's Lark. 175 00:05:18,764 --> 00:05:20,130 I know. I'm actually writing 176 00:05:20,132 --> 00:05:21,565 a lullaby for her birthday. 177 00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:22,349 Have a nice evening. 178 00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:24,702 I like what you're throwing down. 179 00:05:24,704 --> 00:05:26,370 All right, bye-bye. 180 00:05:26,372 --> 00:05:27,404 (hammer banging) 181 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:28,672 JEN: Hi, honey! 182 00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,607 You're home early. 183 00:05:31,152 --> 00:05:33,377 And with dinner. 184 00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:35,446 Hi, beautiful. 185 00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:37,181 I got so much work done today, 186 00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:39,967 my to-do list is now a to-done list. 187 00:05:40,004 --> 00:05:41,285 Ah! 188 00:05:41,287 --> 00:05:42,553 Well, that's impressive. 189 00:05:42,555 --> 00:05:43,854 Well, I had help. 190 00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:45,718 Oh, yeah, uh, is it chapped-lips Amber? 191 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,623 I thought she was a horrible assistant. 192 00:05:47,653 --> 00:05:49,059 Oh, no, Amber, no. 193 00:05:49,061 --> 00:05:51,328 Yeah, she went to rehab for something. 194 00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,978 Sex or meth or elaborate nail art. 195 00:05:54,008 --> 00:05:55,864 Anyway, she and her whore nails are out. 196 00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:57,934 And things are running real smooth. 197 00:05:57,936 --> 00:05:59,102 - Ah, great. - Yeah. 198 00:05:59,104 --> 00:06:00,337 So, who's the new girl? 199 00:06:00,339 --> 00:06:02,305 Hmm? Oh, just, um... 200 00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:05,308 (stammers) I want to know about your day. 201 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:06,385 Oh, well. (scoffs) 202 00:06:06,619 --> 00:06:08,879 Uh, it's always the same at a crowd funding Web site. 203 00:06:08,881 --> 00:06:11,348 You know, just making stupid dreams come true. 204 00:06:11,892 --> 00:06:12,949 Uh, today, someone got 50 grand 205 00:06:12,951 --> 00:06:14,751 to fund a hammer that says, "Nailed it" 206 00:06:14,753 --> 00:06:17,529 - (laughs) - Yeah, so I invested in it. 207 00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:18,862 (doorbell rings) 208 00:06:18,982 --> 00:06:19,856 Who is that? 209 00:06:19,858 --> 00:06:21,084 I don't know. 210 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:23,709 (clears his throat) 211 00:06:24,295 --> 00:06:26,278 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 212 00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:27,939 Oh, Jake. 213 00:06:28,059 --> 00:06:29,766 Sorry to bother you, Jen, 214 00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:32,102 But you left the Dufresne brief in the office. 215 00:06:32,438 --> 00:06:34,262 Um... okay, I'll take that. 216 00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:35,021 JAKE: No, it's heavy. I'll just put it 217 00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:36,439 right here on the table. 218 00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:37,507 Oh, no. No, no, no. 219 00:06:37,509 --> 00:06:38,775 Um, hey, you know, 220 00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:39,577 you didn't, you didn't have 221 00:06:39,595 --> 00:06:41,461 to run that all the way over here. 222 00:06:41,499 --> 00:06:42,545 It's just a little warm-up 223 00:06:42,547 --> 00:06:43,852 before my work out. It's no big deal. 224 00:06:43,889 --> 00:06:45,381 - Oh. - Hi! 225 00:06:45,383 --> 00:06:46,783 You must be Mr. Short. 226 00:06:46,785 --> 00:06:49,085 Oh, oh, have you never met? 227 00:06:49,087 --> 00:06:51,654 Uh, no, no, no, we haven't. 228 00:06:51,656 --> 00:06:53,824 Jake, your wife's secretary. 229 00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:56,626 Gregory. 230 00:06:57,002 --> 00:06:58,061 Greg for short. 231 00:06:58,181 --> 00:06:58,915 Uh... 232 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,211 my wife's husband. 233 00:07:01,239 --> 00:07:03,688 Well, we've had a lot of laughs here tonight together, 234 00:07:03,808 --> 00:07:06,536 and I think, uh, let's just call it. 235 00:07:06,538 --> 00:07:07,970 So... okay. 236 00:07:07,972 --> 00:07:09,605 (clattering) 237 00:07:12,476 --> 00:07:14,041 It's... dumb hammer! 238 00:07:14,078 --> 00:07:15,178 (chuckles weakly) 239 00:07:18,091 --> 00:07:21,183 Hey, so, uh, Jake seems, uh, terrific. 240 00:07:21,447 --> 00:07:22,280 Really? 241 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,620 - You're fine with him being my assistant? - Uh-huh. 242 00:07:24,622 --> 00:07:26,854 Gosh, I thought for sure as soon as you saw him, 243 00:07:26,902 --> 00:07:27,740 that pull-up bar 244 00:07:27,759 --> 00:07:29,193 would be back in the door jamb. 245 00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:33,963 (clattering) No. No. Not at all. 246 00:07:33,965 --> 00:07:35,364 What was that? Did something just fall? 247 00:07:35,366 --> 00:07:36,866 Huh? What? 248 00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:38,667 Um... 249 00:07:38,669 --> 00:07:40,369 (sniffs) 250 00:07:40,371 --> 00:07:42,571 You smell like cookies. 251 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,277 Jakey! 252 00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:50,279 My man! What's happening? 253 00:07:50,399 --> 00:07:51,895 JAKE: Mr. Short! Hi, how are you? 254 00:07:52,015 --> 00:07:53,052 - GREG: Found it. - JAKE: Yep. 255 00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:53,531 Oh, no. 256 00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:54,730 Nice jacket. 257 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:56,118 Oh, this old thing? (scoffs) 258 00:07:56,594 --> 00:07:57,833 I've had it for ages. 259 00:07:57,953 --> 00:07:59,021 It's one of Jen's favorites. 260 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,824 Oh, you've, uh... you've still got the tag on it. 261 00:08:06,523 --> 00:08:07,162 JEN: Uh... 262 00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:08,697 - Hi. - Oh... 263 00:08:08,699 --> 00:08:11,013 Hi, honey. There's my queen. 264 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,438 - Come here, give me some sugar. - What? Oh... 265 00:08:19,753 --> 00:08:20,576 (clears throat) 266 00:08:20,696 --> 00:08:23,143 Wow, that-that-that was a week's worth. 267 00:08:23,188 --> 00:08:24,546 - Mm-hmm. - So thanks. 268 00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:27,814 What exactly are you doing here? 269 00:08:27,934 --> 00:08:29,051 Well, I just happen to have a sixth sense 270 00:08:29,053 --> 00:08:30,819 when it comes to what my woman needs, 271 00:08:30,821 --> 00:08:33,756 and I saw this and I thought I'd just run it on over. 272 00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:35,390 No big "D." 273 00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:37,626 This is my Filofax from 2003. 274 00:08:37,628 --> 00:08:39,361 Anytime you see a red heart in the calendar, 275 00:08:39,363 --> 00:08:41,096 - it means that we banged. Okay? - Oh, my God. 276 00:08:41,904 --> 00:08:42,999 (phone ringing) 277 00:08:44,162 --> 00:08:45,100 Excuse me. 278 00:08:45,782 --> 00:08:46,849 Jen Short's office. 279 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:47,913 (chair squeaks loudly) 280 00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:49,406 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 281 00:08:49,691 --> 00:08:51,673 Jakey boy, what was that I heard? 282 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,019 A squeak? Yeah, your chair's a squeaker, all right? 283 00:08:54,062 --> 00:08:55,310 Nine out of ten times, 284 00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:56,717 it's because of the hydraulics. 285 00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,633 So let me take a look under the hood. 286 00:08:58,753 --> 00:08:59,414 Come on. Let me see. 287 00:08:59,416 --> 00:09:00,394 Just... 288 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,271 Throw your back out again? 289 00:09:06,391 --> 00:09:07,589 - Yeah. - Okay. 290 00:09:08,753 --> 00:09:09,924 Come here, baby. 291 00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:11,426 All right. 292 00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:14,329 It's okay. 293 00:09:14,331 --> 00:09:15,997 Just give him a minute. 294 00:09:18,497 --> 00:09:19,100 You okay? 295 00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:21,197 I'm fine. 296 00:09:22,153 --> 00:09:24,539 Did you thank Jake for carrying me in here? 297 00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:27,279 Yeah. He just ran to his car to grab his massage table. 298 00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:29,377 He's also a certified physical therapist. 299 00:09:29,575 --> 00:09:31,202 I'm just gonna assume that he is everything 300 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,380 until you tell me otherwise. 301 00:09:32,382 --> 00:09:34,382 Look, honey, you don't have to be threatened by him. 302 00:09:34,384 --> 00:09:37,385 Okay? You're my husband, and I love you. 303 00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:39,909 But if-if this really upsets you, 304 00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:43,189 I will fire a perfectly innocent, hard-working guy 305 00:09:43,217 --> 00:09:45,214 who helps your wife be at the top of her game. 306 00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,128 Is that, is that what you want? 307 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:48,453 Well... 308 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:51,209 if you put it like that... 309 00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:53,834 yeah, that's exactly what I want. 310 00:09:54,603 --> 00:09:56,370 Okay, well, legally I can't fire him, 311 00:09:56,372 --> 00:09:58,506 but I do appreciate you finally being honest with me. 312 00:09:58,508 --> 00:09:59,540 (door opens) 313 00:09:59,542 --> 00:10:00,875 Okay, Mr. Short. 314 00:10:00,877 --> 00:10:02,443 I am not taking no for an answer. 315 00:10:03,362 --> 00:10:04,156 It was my fault 316 00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:05,626 for letting that chair get so squeaky. 317 00:10:05,656 --> 00:10:07,546 I should've fixed it when I built that desk. 318 00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:10,351 Wow. He really is good. 319 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:11,245 Isn't he? 320 00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:12,512 I wish I could find 321 00:10:12,535 --> 00:10:13,749 an assistant like you. 322 00:10:14,942 --> 00:10:16,290 Actually, my sister 323 00:10:16,292 --> 00:10:18,363 just graduated from Oxford University 324 00:10:18,389 --> 00:10:19,894 and she would love to work for you. 325 00:10:19,932 --> 00:10:22,066 If the Miss Universe circuit taught her anything, 326 00:10:22,114 --> 00:10:23,497 it was the value of hard work. 327 00:10:24,886 --> 00:10:25,833 She sounds good! 328 00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:27,701 Yeah, okay, you're fired. 329 00:10:31,072 --> 00:10:32,306 Oh, it's really in there. 330 00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:34,040 Just... uh, stay calm. 331 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,517 - I am calm. - I'm talking to myself. 332 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,666 _ 333 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,290 - HEATHER: Hi, Mom. - JOAN: Hi, honey. 334 00:10:40,328 --> 00:10:41,983 Hey, you guys, look. Mom-Mom's making dinner, 335 00:10:42,002 --> 00:10:44,316 so you eat whatever it is that she makes you. 336 00:10:44,318 --> 00:10:47,119 Keep an eye on this one, because she has become very creative 337 00:10:47,121 --> 00:10:48,794 about not eating her vegetables. 338 00:10:48,808 --> 00:10:50,322 Oh, I remember all your old tricks. 339 00:10:50,324 --> 00:10:52,291 You used to stuff your bra with broccoli. 340 00:10:52,293 --> 00:10:53,559 HEATHER: And this one over here 341 00:10:53,561 --> 00:10:54,736 just got her period, 342 00:10:54,765 --> 00:10:56,444 - so she's not a lot of fun right now. - Mom! 343 00:10:56,493 --> 00:10:57,729 What? She gets it. 344 00:10:57,731 --> 00:10:59,498 Well, she used to. She remembers. 345 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,266 It's okay, sweetie, we'll still have some fun. 346 00:11:01,268 --> 00:11:02,281 Listen to Mom-Mom. 347 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,937 - Have fun, dear. - Bye, Mom. 348 00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:06,537 (whispering): Shh, we gotta play it cool. 349 00:11:07,123 --> 00:11:07,549 (door closes) 350 00:11:07,561 --> 00:11:10,609 We're not safe until that car leaves the driveway. 351 00:11:10,611 --> 00:11:12,077 (giggling) 352 00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:14,112 It's always so fun over here. 353 00:11:14,114 --> 00:11:15,438 I wish we lived closer. 354 00:11:15,492 --> 00:11:17,784 We live across the street, you stupid imp. 355 00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:20,585 I know you're still in there, my sweet Samantha. 356 00:11:21,591 --> 00:11:22,687 Come back to me. 357 00:11:22,689 --> 00:11:25,994 Let's focus on... bubbles. 358 00:11:26,822 --> 00:11:27,408 One... 359 00:11:28,202 --> 00:11:28,832 two... 360 00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:30,746 hmm. 361 00:11:33,087 --> 00:11:33,431 Oh. 362 00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:34,909 (laughter) 363 00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:37,461 Can I have another piece, Mom-Mom? I lost mine. 364 00:11:37,581 --> 00:11:39,737 Oh. I think I found it. 365 00:11:40,206 --> 00:11:42,507 Oh, no! Oh, oh... 366 00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:43,742 Oh, don't move, honey. 367 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,601 It'll just go in worse. 368 00:11:46,996 --> 00:11:47,412 Okay. 369 00:11:47,664 --> 00:11:49,147 Oh, it's really in there. 370 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:51,939 Just... stay calm. 371 00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:52,851 I am calm. 372 00:11:52,853 --> 00:11:54,495 No, I'm talking to myself, honey. 373 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:56,901 It... just... your mom is going to be so furious. 374 00:11:56,941 --> 00:12:00,358 She has no idea what we do over here. 375 00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:02,026 Can I have another piece of gum? 376 00:12:02,028 --> 00:12:03,342 No, no, no more gum. 377 00:12:03,381 --> 00:12:05,219 But it helps me when I'm stressed. 378 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,157 Oh, of course you can, honey. 379 00:12:07,451 --> 00:12:10,368 Just let me get this piece out and then you get another piece. 380 00:12:10,644 --> 00:12:11,232 Okay. 381 00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:12,954 Boop. 382 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,508 This might be a stupid question, 383 00:12:16,532 --> 00:12:18,302 but can we chew the gum out? 384 00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:20,829 No, honey, I-I think we're gonna 385 00:12:21,729 --> 00:12:23,347 try the peanut butter next. 386 00:12:23,589 --> 00:12:24,449 I ate it all. 387 00:12:24,729 --> 00:12:25,413 Damn it! 388 00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,518 Oh, I'm so sorry, honey. 389 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,554 I-I wasn't, I wasn't cursing at you, 390 00:12:29,556 --> 00:12:32,125 I was, uh, cursing w-with you. 391 00:12:32,659 --> 00:12:33,540 I can curse? 392 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:34,957 No. 393 00:12:35,495 --> 00:12:36,770 Well, maybe a couple. 394 00:12:36,830 --> 00:12:39,692 Hey, Mom-Mom, I got the Vaseline you wanted. 395 00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:40,898 JOAN: Thanks, honey. 396 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,440 Oh. This has the look of Mom blowing up. 397 00:12:44,818 --> 00:12:45,436 I'm out. 398 00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:47,905 Me, too. Good luck, people. 399 00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:49,673 Hey. Hey, guys... 400 00:12:49,675 --> 00:12:51,791 who-who bought you thong panties last week 401 00:12:51,829 --> 00:12:52,744 when your mom wouldn't? 402 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,068 And, Tyler, 403 00:12:54,098 --> 00:12:56,015 who's got your back when you tell your mom 404 00:12:56,218 --> 00:12:58,154 you're sleeping over here and you don't? 405 00:12:58,519 --> 00:12:58,916 You know, 406 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,089 horses of a feather, 407 00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:01,785 they don't abandon the ship. 408 00:13:04,179 --> 00:13:04,755 Oh! 409 00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,041 Problem solved. 410 00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:07,458 JOAN: Oh, no... 411 00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:08,753 You're welcome. 412 00:13:10,236 --> 00:13:12,062 HEATHER: Look at all this junk food. 413 00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:14,400 Mom! Where did this come from? 414 00:13:14,982 --> 00:13:17,034 I mean, when we were kids, the most sugary thing 415 00:13:17,036 --> 00:13:18,873 you would let us have was cough syrup. 416 00:13:18,921 --> 00:13:20,704 Things change, honey. 417 00:13:20,706 --> 00:13:22,606 It's the natural flow of life. 418 00:13:22,608 --> 00:13:24,909 Stop talking about my period! 419 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:26,357 I just, I don't understand it. 420 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,981 You were always so strict. 421 00:13:28,031 --> 00:13:29,033 Yeah, I was too strict, 422 00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,625 and it was a constant, exhausting battle. 423 00:13:32,097 --> 00:13:33,726 And I had to sit there and listen to you 424 00:13:33,744 --> 00:13:36,187 tell me how much more fun it was over at GiGi's. 425 00:13:36,307 --> 00:13:37,843 Yeah, because GiGi would let me eat 426 00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:39,811 an entire tube of cookie dough. 427 00:13:40,411 --> 00:13:41,836 Don't look at me. 428 00:13:42,451 --> 00:13:42,946 Oh... 429 00:13:43,066 --> 00:13:45,286 Honey, I was always saying no. 430 00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:48,070 - Now it's my time to say yes. - Okay, I just... 431 00:13:48,112 --> 00:13:50,113 I don't know how comfortable I am having the kids over here 432 00:13:50,141 --> 00:13:51,614 if I know you don't respect my rules. 433 00:13:51,637 --> 00:13:52,536 But, Mom... 434 00:13:52,572 --> 00:13:55,111 you let Pop-Pop smoke cigars in our backyard 435 00:13:55,147 --> 00:13:56,461 even though he's not supposed to. 436 00:13:56,581 --> 00:13:57,409 Shh! 437 00:13:57,451 --> 00:13:59,076 - Ooh, boy. - You do what? 438 00:13:59,136 --> 00:14:00,480 It's not my job to tell him no. 439 00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:01,746 John. 440 00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:04,867 Well, Tyler's smoking a lot more than cigars out in my shed. 441 00:14:04,987 --> 00:14:07,123 - Why don't you ride his ass? - Pop-Pop? 442 00:14:07,243 --> 00:14:09,590 I just came in here for some cookie dough. 443 00:14:09,866 --> 00:14:11,636 - Damn it, Samantha. - Damn it to you. 444 00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:14,421 Oh, now, now, we're all very frustrated, 445 00:14:14,474 --> 00:14:17,535 but at least there's no more secrets between us. 446 00:14:17,655 --> 00:14:18,471 TIM: Hey, John! 447 00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:20,897 The neighbors are shooting porn in their yard again. 448 00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:23,905 Uh... 449 00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:26,849 I found your binoculars. 450 00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,705 (clears throat) Yeah. 451 00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:32,423 Tank is not ridiculous. 452 00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,610 (Tank yips) 453 00:14:33,612 --> 00:14:36,031 She is the mayor of Doggie Pack City. 454 00:14:37,269 --> 00:14:39,069 _ 455 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:41,811 It's great to see you. 456 00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,537 Been missing you around the house. 457 00:14:43,574 --> 00:14:47,202 Oh. You specifically or other people? 458 00:14:47,412 --> 00:14:48,953 I don't know, I'm just being nice. 459 00:14:50,675 --> 00:14:52,724 Well, I think Princess really misses Matt. 460 00:14:53,050 --> 00:14:55,093 JOHN: What does it mean when they sniff around like that? 461 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,928 Sometimes when a dog's head goes one way, 462 00:14:57,048 --> 00:14:58,730 it's butt goes the other. Doesn't mean anything. 463 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,908 Wow, you know so much about dogs. 464 00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:03,835 - Lots. (chuckles) - Cool. 465 00:15:05,253 --> 00:15:06,612 You know, we should do this again. 466 00:15:07,122 --> 00:15:08,239 It's nice to catch up. 467 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,594 About dogs and parks and... Matt. 468 00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:12,306 Sure. 469 00:15:13,364 --> 00:15:14,746 But maybe don't mention that we're hanging out, 470 00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,142 in case he's feeling raw about the breakup. 471 00:15:17,395 --> 00:15:18,810 Like, sneaking around? 472 00:15:18,839 --> 00:15:19,625 That sounds fun. 473 00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:23,018 Uh, what do you call an affair 474 00:15:23,228 --> 00:15:25,690 when there's no sex with the other person? 475 00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:27,425 A friendship. 476 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,594 (chuckles) 477 00:15:32,654 --> 00:15:33,864 (door closes) 478 00:15:37,049 --> 00:15:37,896 Hey, Dad. Where you been? 479 00:15:38,744 --> 00:15:40,457 Uh, at the store, 480 00:15:40,487 --> 00:15:42,199 because we're out of cheese. 481 00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:43,753 I mean, bread. Did I say cheese? 482 00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:45,427 I don't know why I would say cheese. 483 00:15:46,093 --> 00:15:48,318 Uh, I was at the post office. 484 00:15:48,342 --> 00:15:49,458 Uh, did you get stamps? 485 00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:51,192 Why would I get stamps 486 00:15:51,402 --> 00:15:52,644 at the dog park? 487 00:15:53,013 --> 00:15:53,365 Hm? 488 00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,335 Oh, damn it. Uh, geez. 489 00:15:55,347 --> 00:15:57,219 I'm sorry you had to find out this way. 490 00:15:57,261 --> 00:15:59,055 I had to find out, uh... what? 491 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,861 I just told you, I was with Colleen. 492 00:16:00,981 --> 00:16:02,073 No, you didn't just tell me that. 493 00:16:02,313 --> 00:16:04,075 Oh, well, then forget I said anything. 494 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,729 - Whoa, whoa! - Hmm? 495 00:16:06,457 --> 00:16:07,435 You were with Colleen? 496 00:16:07,885 --> 00:16:09,580 Yeah, she's helping me with Tank? 497 00:16:10,756 --> 00:16:11,201 Okay. 498 00:16:11,494 --> 00:16:13,904 - Uh, you're not mad at me? - No, of course not. 499 00:16:14,117 --> 00:16:15,502 You're an adult with a ridiculous dog, 500 00:16:15,513 --> 00:16:16,906 she's an adult with a ridiculous dog, 501 00:16:16,927 --> 00:16:18,208 I just don't need to hear about it. 502 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:19,632 Tank is not ridiculous. 503 00:16:19,698 --> 00:16:19,982 (Tank yips) 504 00:16:20,864 --> 00:16:23,374 She is the mayor of Doggie Pack City. 505 00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:27,885 JOHN: Eh? 506 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,385 (chuckling): Wow. 507 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,841 Look at Tank and Princess. 508 00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,739 You had professional portraits made. 509 00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:33,984 Yeah, imagine the wedding night, huh? 510 00:16:34,017 --> 00:16:35,130 - (chuckles) - Yeah. 511 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:35,652 No, thanks. 512 00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:38,642 You owe me 23 bucks, but you can pay me anytime. 513 00:16:42,275 --> 00:16:43,487 (chiming) 514 00:16:48,092 --> 00:16:49,459 (grunts) 515 00:16:49,461 --> 00:16:50,460 Ugh. 516 00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:51,659 John. Hi. 517 00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:52,829 - Hey. - Hi. 518 00:16:52,831 --> 00:16:54,481 It's really late. Is everything okay? 519 00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:56,224 Yeah, I know. No, I know it's late, 520 00:16:56,269 --> 00:16:57,565 but there's someone here that can't wait 521 00:16:57,587 --> 00:16:58,688 till morning to talk to you. 522 00:16:58,726 --> 00:16:59,574 Oh. 523 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,400 (cartoonish): Hi, I got a new collar. 524 00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:05,775 Do you like it? 525 00:17:06,052 --> 00:17:06,977 It's really cute. 526 00:17:07,283 --> 00:17:08,279 I'm going to bed. 527 00:17:11,466 --> 00:17:12,916 Oh, what's this? 528 00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:16,019 I entered Princess and Tank in a big dog show. 529 00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:17,587 First prize is a Geo Storm, 530 00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:19,326 so we should drive there together 531 00:17:19,351 --> 00:17:20,723 in case one of us wins. 532 00:17:20,725 --> 00:17:22,659 John, I don't think I can do this. 533 00:17:22,661 --> 00:17:25,094 No, no, I-I know Princess is a mutt, 534 00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,597 but I lied to them about the pedigree, so it's fine. 535 00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:30,153 No. No, I've been meaning to talk to you about this. 536 00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:34,170 - I love the time that we spend together. - Mmm. 537 00:17:34,461 --> 00:17:36,239 - But it's too much. - Hmm? 538 00:17:36,241 --> 00:17:37,976 And it's too complicated. 539 00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:43,646 I think we should start seeing other dogs. 540 00:17:44,177 --> 00:17:45,785 Oh, I see. 541 00:17:45,801 --> 00:17:46,703 Yeah. 542 00:17:48,871 --> 00:17:49,552 Here, Tank. 543 00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:51,220 - Here. - (Tank yips) 544 00:17:54,195 --> 00:17:54,590 John. 545 00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:55,858 I'm sorry. 546 00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,827 By the way, this whole time, 547 00:17:57,829 --> 00:18:00,896 Tank has been sharing the water bowl at Boston Market 548 00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:03,132 with a really good-looking pug. 549 00:18:05,737 --> 00:18:08,604 (video game guns firing) 550 00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:11,859 I think Tank misses Princess. 551 00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:14,310 Dad, we agreed that we are not gonna discuss Colleen. 552 00:18:14,312 --> 00:18:16,645 No, this is not about Colleen. 553 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,681 I was just thinking that maybe you had 554 00:18:18,683 --> 00:18:20,843 some visitation rights with Princess 555 00:18:20,879 --> 00:18:22,318 that you could take advantage of. 556 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,087 Damn it, Dad, I'm trying really hard to move on from her. 557 00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:26,791 Don't do it for me, son. 558 00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:29,239 Do it for your little sister here. 559 00:18:29,659 --> 00:18:30,459 (cartoonish): Help me. 560 00:18:30,461 --> 00:18:33,122 Don't punish me for things our father did. 561 00:18:33,148 --> 00:18:34,976 Okay, first of all, don't refer to her as my little sister. 562 00:18:34,991 --> 00:18:36,741 And second of all, don't use that voice. 563 00:18:36,861 --> 00:18:38,599 Do it or get out of my house, eh? 564 00:18:38,762 --> 00:18:40,363 You already used that this morning 565 00:18:40,377 --> 00:18:41,870 when you told me to kill the spider. 566 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,306 There's no limit to how many times I can use it. 567 00:18:47,047 --> 00:18:48,300 - (door closes) - Oh, God. 568 00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:51,614 Good job. Get the ball. Good going. 569 00:18:52,486 --> 00:18:54,619 So excited, so excited, I know. 570 00:18:57,989 --> 00:18:58,599 Hey. 571 00:18:59,525 --> 00:19:01,005 - Hi. - Hi. 572 00:19:02,894 --> 00:19:03,279 BOTH: How are... 573 00:19:03,297 --> 00:19:05,162 How are you? (both laugh) 574 00:19:05,164 --> 00:19:06,237 Good. How are you? 575 00:19:06,591 --> 00:19:07,115 I'm good. 576 00:19:07,235 --> 00:19:10,829 Um, I hear my dad got a little needy. 577 00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:12,005 You heard right. 578 00:19:12,191 --> 00:19:13,835 Don't know how you didn't see that coming. 579 00:19:13,865 --> 00:19:15,105 (both laugh) 580 00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:16,337 Um... 581 00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,373 I should call up Greg, get him down here. 582 00:19:18,397 --> 00:19:20,058 You can break up with all the men in my family. 583 00:19:20,802 --> 00:19:22,314 - Well... - Oh! 584 00:19:22,352 --> 00:19:24,214 Okay. Come on. Jokes. 585 00:19:24,216 --> 00:19:25,482 (chuckles) 586 00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:27,149 You look good. 587 00:19:27,886 --> 00:19:28,653 You, too. 588 00:19:28,705 --> 00:19:29,793 - Change your hair? - No. 589 00:19:30,693 --> 00:19:31,945 - You lost weight? - No. 590 00:19:31,975 --> 00:19:32,906 Did something with your eyebrows? 591 00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:34,038 Sure. 592 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,223 - Knew it. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 593 00:19:35,268 --> 00:19:36,333 Very perceptive. 594 00:19:36,363 --> 00:19:37,038 Thank you. 595 00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:41,138 I-I know that Tank needs a friend, 596 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,968 and so, um, since my dad is too much for you, 597 00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:45,526 maybe I could... bring her by. 598 00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:47,858 Once in a while. 599 00:19:48,848 --> 00:19:49,538 I'd like that. 600 00:19:52,201 --> 00:19:52,793 All right. 601 00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:54,196 Okay. 602 00:19:58,592 --> 00:19:59,769 All right, you want to say good-bye? 603 00:19:59,889 --> 00:20:00,827 - Bye, Tank. - Bye, say good-bye. 604 00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:02,312 - See you soon. See you very soon. - Good-bye. Bye. 605 00:20:03,009 --> 00:20:03,857 - "Very soon." - Yeah. 606 00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:04,511 Yeah. 607 00:20:05,827 --> 00:20:06,808 - Very soon sounds good. Okay. - Okay. 608 00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:07,936 All right. 609 00:20:08,302 --> 00:20:09,826 - Okay. - Okay. 610 00:20:13,631 --> 00:20:14,894 Hi. 611 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:22,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 612 00:20:30,118 --> 00:20:31,181 How's Princess? 613 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,165 He's-he's good. 614 00:20:32,285 --> 00:20:34,606 - And how are you? - I'm okay. 615 00:20:34,726 --> 00:20:35,713 It's nice how fate... 616 00:20:35,748 --> 00:20:37,775 - brought you two together. - Yeah. 617 00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:40,532 Now let's get out of here and go get a cheeseburger. 618 00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:42,342 Fate is getting hungry. 619 00:20:42,344 --> 00:20:44,010 (engine starting) 620 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,534 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 621 00:20:48,305 --> 00:20:54,542 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org