1 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,970 _ 2 00:00:09,079 --> 00:00:11,446 Um, are you sure that we can return this? 3 00:00:11,448 --> 00:00:12,881 I mean, it's, like, three years old and, you know, 4 00:00:12,883 --> 00:00:14,082 I didn't buy it here. 5 00:00:14,084 --> 00:00:15,216 Doesn't matter. 6 00:00:15,218 --> 00:00:16,217 Trust me. 7 00:00:16,242 --> 00:00:17,732 My Grandma Tanita turned saving money 8 00:00:17,757 --> 00:00:18,840 into an art form. 9 00:00:19,068 --> 00:00:21,536 She returned a doctor's appointment once. 10 00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,337 I literally don't even know how. 11 00:00:23,687 --> 00:00:24,630 - Wow. - Mhm. 12 00:00:24,655 --> 00:00:26,974 Just, it seems like a lot of work when we could just go 13 00:00:26,976 --> 00:00:28,276 to that other store and buy a jacket 14 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,418 that has a zipper that works. 15 00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:31,376 No, Matt, that is why you have money problems. 16 00:00:31,563 --> 00:00:32,998 Look, if we are going to build a life together, 17 00:00:33,023 --> 00:00:34,907 you're going to have to change how you handle your finances. 18 00:00:34,932 --> 00:00:36,352 It's like every time you get money you just spend it. 19 00:00:36,377 --> 00:00:37,474 Okay, well, that's not fair. 20 00:00:37,499 --> 00:00:38,958 I spend money that I don't have, too. 21 00:00:38,983 --> 00:00:40,469 - Well. - Next. 22 00:00:40,494 --> 00:00:41,849 - Oh. - Uh... 23 00:00:41,874 --> 00:00:43,340 Just watch and learn. 24 00:00:43,342 --> 00:00:44,633 Hello. 25 00:00:44,658 --> 00:00:48,032 Oh, sorry, I got so distracted by your beautiful eyes. 26 00:00:48,057 --> 00:00:49,001 Thank you. 27 00:00:49,026 --> 00:00:50,359 One of them's glass. 28 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,051 That explains the sparkle. 29 00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,386 Anyway, I'd like to return this jacket. 30 00:00:56,411 --> 00:00:57,677 It's defective. 31 00:00:58,157 --> 00:00:59,544 Okay, do you have the receipt? 32 00:00:59,569 --> 00:01:00,965 No. 33 00:01:00,990 --> 00:01:02,256 - No. - We don't... 34 00:01:02,281 --> 00:01:03,823 I mean it's just so weird 35 00:01:03,848 --> 00:01:05,966 that we're here, because... so... 36 00:01:05,991 --> 00:01:07,616 - Next. - Matt. 37 00:01:07,618 --> 00:01:10,319 We know for a fact that they carry this brand here 38 00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:13,065 and they definitely stand behind all of their merchandise. 39 00:01:13,090 --> 00:01:14,823 That's why we shop here. 40 00:01:15,014 --> 00:01:16,213 Right, Leigh? 41 00:01:16,527 --> 00:01:18,194 It's pronounced Lekh. 42 00:01:18,808 --> 00:01:20,896 Le-ukh? 43 00:01:20,898 --> 00:01:22,331 It's beautiful. 44 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:25,468 Do you think that you could help us, Le-ukh? 45 00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:26,502 You know what? 46 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,448 I am charmed 47 00:01:27,473 --> 00:01:29,740 by your use of my name. 48 00:01:30,008 --> 00:01:31,316 Let me go talk to my manager. 49 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,769 Thank you. 50 00:01:34,223 --> 00:01:36,457 Okay, I am so uncomfortable. 51 00:01:36,685 --> 00:01:37,759 Why? 52 00:01:37,784 --> 00:01:39,634 Because you have all this sexual energy 53 00:01:39,659 --> 00:01:41,527 and you just want to attack me right now? 54 00:01:41,552 --> 00:01:43,486 No, I don't... wait, what? What? What? 55 00:01:44,422 --> 00:01:46,288 Does saving money turn you on? 56 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,789 Why do you think I get so revved up when we're watching Cinemax? 57 00:01:48,814 --> 00:01:50,266 Because it's gentle lady porn. 58 00:01:50,291 --> 00:01:51,240 Oh, no. 59 00:01:51,265 --> 00:01:53,873 It's because our neighbors are paying for it. 60 00:01:54,654 --> 00:01:55,931 What else turns you on? 61 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:03,074 Watch all episodes for free on www.FlixTor.to 62 00:02:43,714 --> 00:02:44,680 Babe, 63 00:02:44,682 --> 00:02:46,569 I found some dirty Ziploc bags at work 64 00:02:46,594 --> 00:02:47,641 to bring home and wash out. 65 00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:48,566 Look at that. 66 00:02:48,591 --> 00:02:50,713 Huh? A galloner. Big dog. 67 00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:51,987 What's wrong? 68 00:02:51,989 --> 00:02:53,422 Oh, no. 69 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,547 Big Lots discovered our double coupon scam. 70 00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:57,728 No, it's not that, no. 71 00:02:57,772 --> 00:03:00,540 I missed my period. 72 00:03:00,971 --> 00:03:02,275 I'm late. 73 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,266 That's bigger than Big Lots. 74 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,434 Yes. 75 00:03:06,918 --> 00:03:08,351 All right. 76 00:03:09,211 --> 00:03:09,939 Stay calm. 77 00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:10,661 Okay. 78 00:03:10,686 --> 00:03:11,918 You stay here and relax. 79 00:03:12,009 --> 00:03:13,028 I'm going to go to the store, 80 00:03:13,053 --> 00:03:14,620 get a pregnancy test, you know. 81 00:03:14,645 --> 00:03:16,479 No need for us to freak out. 82 00:03:16,481 --> 00:03:17,037 Whew, okay. 83 00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:18,540 Unless we know what we're freaking out about. 84 00:03:19,484 --> 00:03:20,550 Might want to do your pants up. 85 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,308 - Yep. - Okay. 86 00:03:24,862 --> 00:03:26,088 I'm freaking out. 87 00:03:26,090 --> 00:03:27,857 We were always so careful. 88 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,859 Except for sometimes when we weren't. 89 00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,658 Maybe it's wrong, tests can be wrong. 90 00:03:31,683 --> 00:03:34,322 Here, take another one... I bought a ton of them. 91 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,946 There was a special at the dollar store. 92 00:03:35,971 --> 00:03:37,080 They were a dollar. 93 00:03:37,307 --> 00:03:39,974 Matt, you bought pregnancy tests at the dollar store? 94 00:03:39,976 --> 00:03:41,076 Yeah, I'm not going to spend a ton of money 95 00:03:41,078 --> 00:03:42,210 on something you're just going to pee on. 96 00:03:42,673 --> 00:03:44,207 Everybody knows there are two things 97 00:03:44,232 --> 00:03:45,814 you never buy at the dollar store: 98 00:03:45,816 --> 00:03:47,582 pregnancy tests and crab. 99 00:03:47,584 --> 00:03:49,451 Oh. 100 00:03:52,989 --> 00:03:54,422 I saw that. 101 00:03:57,810 --> 00:04:01,846 So expensive, full-price test results are...? 102 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,033 - Not pregnant. - Oh, thank God. 103 00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:06,072 And not that I don't want 104 00:04:06,097 --> 00:04:08,113 to have many babies with you some day. 105 00:04:08,138 --> 00:04:10,096 Totally, some day. 106 00:04:10,121 --> 00:04:11,821 But babies are expensive. 107 00:04:12,350 --> 00:04:14,175 Which reminds me, 108 00:04:14,177 --> 00:04:16,644 I think you should return those pregnancy tests. 109 00:04:16,646 --> 00:04:17,946 I only peed on one. 110 00:04:18,108 --> 00:04:19,640 Mmm-hmm. 111 00:04:19,665 --> 00:04:22,166 Uh, maybe we should hold onto them, 112 00:04:22,486 --> 00:04:25,019 because I bought our condoms at the dollar store, too. 113 00:04:26,448 --> 00:04:27,707 60 for a dollar. 114 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:29,901 _ 115 00:04:29,926 --> 00:04:33,809 Okay, so at 10:30 you have Mrs. Barnett for... 116 00:04:33,834 --> 00:04:34,729 Tim, that's for charity. 117 00:04:34,731 --> 00:04:36,097 It's not a tip jar. 118 00:04:36,429 --> 00:04:37,432 Oh, Dr. Hughes, 119 00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:39,226 I got the acne medication for your son. 120 00:04:39,251 --> 00:04:40,702 - Thank you... - That's for Tim's back. 121 00:04:40,704 --> 00:04:41,336 Heather! 122 00:04:41,338 --> 00:04:43,105 Oh, you have bacne? 123 00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,651 Yeah, it flares up when he wears his jammie dress. 124 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:46,985 It's a nightshirt. 125 00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:48,109 Can you give us a second? 126 00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:49,344 Okay. 127 00:04:51,148 --> 00:04:53,826 Please do not discuss my personal business 128 00:04:53,851 --> 00:04:54,749 with the staff. 129 00:04:54,751 --> 00:04:55,950 You keep doing that. 130 00:04:55,952 --> 00:04:57,220 Oh, chill out. 131 00:04:57,245 --> 00:05:00,031 You told everybody how nervous I was for my first day here. 132 00:05:00,056 --> 00:05:01,869 That's not the same as bacne. 133 00:05:01,894 --> 00:05:03,360 Sylvie idolizes me. 134 00:05:03,385 --> 00:05:06,594 I'm like a father figure to her and she has a crush on me, 135 00:05:06,596 --> 00:05:08,418 as does everybody else in this place. 136 00:05:08,443 --> 00:05:10,398 Look, just stop embarrassing me. 137 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,333 You want me to stop embarrassing you? 138 00:05:12,335 --> 00:05:13,278 - Yeah. - Okay. 139 00:05:13,303 --> 00:05:14,736 Because you have food stains 140 00:05:14,738 --> 00:05:16,404 on the back of your lab coat. 141 00:05:16,406 --> 00:05:19,240 That's because I turn it around when I eat ribs. 142 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,006 All right. 143 00:05:25,031 --> 00:05:27,182 I know we always said we'd be honest with each other 144 00:05:27,207 --> 00:05:30,124 and there's clearly a problem here that we need to discuss. 145 00:05:30,149 --> 00:05:31,719 I'm not wearing lipstick. 146 00:05:31,721 --> 00:05:34,965 It's tinted lip balm. 147 00:05:34,990 --> 00:05:36,591 You should try it before you rail on me. 148 00:05:36,882 --> 00:05:37,691 No. 149 00:05:37,741 --> 00:05:40,639 This is about the problem that you have with Heather. 150 00:05:41,031 --> 00:05:43,898 I am not going to stand in your way if you want to fire her. 151 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,665 No, she's great. 152 00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:47,569 She's the best receptionist we've ever had. 153 00:05:47,571 --> 00:05:49,285 All right, look, I can read between the lines. 154 00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:50,715 You want her gone by the end of the day. 155 00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:51,769 That's fine. 156 00:05:51,794 --> 00:05:53,313 Just make sure she knows it was you. 157 00:05:53,579 --> 00:05:55,009 You want to fire your wife? 158 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:56,314 Hmm. 159 00:05:56,339 --> 00:05:58,829 Well, I hadn't thought about it, but now that you bring it up, 160 00:05:59,182 --> 00:06:02,083 yes, I want it more than anything in life. 161 00:06:04,627 --> 00:06:05,477 Hi. 162 00:06:05,518 --> 00:06:07,008 - About earlier, - Yeah. 163 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,982 I thought that there's a bigger issue here 164 00:06:09,007 --> 00:06:11,315 that we kind of need to talk about. 165 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,404 Oh, I agree. 166 00:06:12,429 --> 00:06:15,639 I-I am not happy with the way things are going. 167 00:06:15,664 --> 00:06:17,086 Yeah, me, neither. 168 00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:21,983 And I've been thinking we really need to make a change. 169 00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:23,374 So... 170 00:06:24,158 --> 00:06:25,160 Well, 171 00:06:25,592 --> 00:06:27,575 she's no longer our receptionist. 172 00:06:27,577 --> 00:06:28,721 Well done, Tim. 173 00:06:28,746 --> 00:06:30,937 Oh, hey, guys. 174 00:06:30,962 --> 00:06:32,665 Loving my new parking spot. 175 00:06:32,690 --> 00:06:34,979 I'm going to go see if I can fit a water feature 176 00:06:35,004 --> 00:06:36,871 into my new office. 177 00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:40,655 You promoted her? 178 00:06:41,251 --> 00:06:43,224 - Yeah. - You were supposed to fire her. 179 00:06:43,441 --> 00:06:45,507 On her first day as office coordinator? 180 00:06:45,532 --> 00:06:46,764 Oh, that's harsh. 181 00:06:47,143 --> 00:06:48,462 But it needs to be done, 182 00:06:48,487 --> 00:06:51,888 and as her husband it might as well come from me. 183 00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:56,371 I'm sorry, Heather, but you're fired... 184 00:06:57,165 --> 00:06:58,214 Is what I want you to say. 185 00:06:58,239 --> 00:07:00,074 But you're HR for the medical group, 186 00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:02,570 so feel free to make it your own. 187 00:07:02,937 --> 00:07:05,513 Thank you, I love how creative my job is. 188 00:07:05,515 --> 00:07:06,892 We'll give her a call first thing tomorrow. 189 00:07:06,917 --> 00:07:08,010 Good, that'll give me a chance 190 00:07:08,035 --> 00:07:09,968 to take her out tonight to soften the blow. 191 00:07:10,661 --> 00:07:12,420 You won't promote her, right? 192 00:07:12,422 --> 00:07:14,455 Because I hear that sort of thing happens sometimes, 193 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,413 which is crazy. 194 00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:20,932 I got to say, this is so nice. 195 00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,974 Only the best for my bride. 196 00:07:22,999 --> 00:07:24,899 You mean your office coordinator. 197 00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:26,199 - Mmm. - I got to tell you, babe, 198 00:07:26,224 --> 00:07:27,502 I did not see that coming. 199 00:07:27,504 --> 00:07:28,469 Yeah, one day you're up, 200 00:07:28,471 --> 00:07:29,394 the next you're down. 201 00:07:29,419 --> 00:07:31,522 None of it really matters as long as you have 202 00:07:31,547 --> 00:07:33,732 - a life as rich as ours... - Yeah. 203 00:07:33,948 --> 00:07:35,176 outside of work. 204 00:07:35,178 --> 00:07:36,477 That's the good stuff. 205 00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,221 Oh, that is so sweet. 206 00:07:38,246 --> 00:07:41,259 Listen, we should talk. 207 00:07:41,525 --> 00:07:43,530 I'm so happy to be back, 208 00:07:43,555 --> 00:07:45,130 you know, out there in the work force. 209 00:07:45,155 --> 00:07:46,596 I just... 210 00:07:46,706 --> 00:07:49,307 I'm not sure that your office is the right fit for me. 211 00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:51,292 Wait, are you quitting? 212 00:07:51,294 --> 00:07:53,519 Yes, I'm so sorry... I love you so much, honey, 213 00:07:53,544 --> 00:07:55,563 and I think we're such a great couple at home 214 00:07:55,565 --> 00:07:58,902 and I don't want to risk losing any of that magic that we have 215 00:07:58,927 --> 00:08:01,118 - in our marriage by spending... - Spending too much time together! 216 00:08:01,143 --> 00:08:02,398 - Yes! - I feel the same way. 217 00:08:02,423 --> 00:08:03,938 Oh, my God, you do? 218 00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:06,217 God, Tim, we are so in sync. 219 00:08:06,242 --> 00:08:06,903 We are just... 220 00:08:06,928 --> 00:08:07,986 That is why we are the envy 221 00:08:08,011 --> 00:08:08,826 of all of our friends. 222 00:08:08,851 --> 00:08:09,977 Ah. 223 00:08:09,979 --> 00:08:11,512 Wait a minute. 224 00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:15,074 If you felt that way, why didn't you say anything to me? 225 00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:20,322 Well, I just knew how much you loved the job 226 00:08:20,347 --> 00:08:23,266 and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt your feelings. 227 00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:25,283 Oh, honey, that is so sweet. 228 00:08:25,308 --> 00:08:27,486 I thought I shut that off. 229 00:08:27,511 --> 00:08:29,250 That touches my heart that you... 230 00:08:30,102 --> 00:08:30,999 Oh, it's HR. 231 00:08:31,024 --> 00:08:31,864 - HR? - You know what? 232 00:08:31,889 --> 00:08:33,427 I didn't turn in my timecard yesterday. 233 00:08:33,452 --> 00:08:35,269 Give it to me, they're not supposed to call tonight. 234 00:08:35,271 --> 00:08:35,937 Hi, Matilda. 235 00:08:35,939 --> 00:08:36,671 She's quitting. 236 00:08:36,673 --> 00:08:38,201 - Hey, she quit! - Okay. 237 00:08:38,381 --> 00:08:39,714 - Oh! - What's wrong with you? 238 00:08:40,415 --> 00:08:41,409 Oh. 239 00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:43,036 Oh, okay, okay. 240 00:08:43,061 --> 00:08:43,872 Can we get a box? 241 00:08:43,897 --> 00:08:46,077 It's... no, thank you for calling and telling me. 242 00:08:46,102 --> 00:08:47,668 - Yeah. - Checking my phone. 243 00:08:47,717 --> 00:08:49,283 That's nice. 244 00:08:49,285 --> 00:08:50,385 I just got fired. 245 00:08:51,149 --> 00:08:53,396 What? 246 00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:55,456 No! Why? 247 00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:56,691 Did you fire me, Tim? 248 00:08:57,301 --> 00:08:58,948 What? 249 00:08:58,973 --> 00:08:59,784 No! 250 00:08:59,809 --> 00:09:00,995 Oh, Tim. 251 00:09:01,654 --> 00:09:02,231 Well, I... 252 00:09:02,256 --> 00:09:04,142 Oh! 253 00:09:04,522 --> 00:09:06,567 Okay, I admit this was handled poorly. 254 00:09:06,569 --> 00:09:07,735 You think? 255 00:09:07,906 --> 00:09:09,765 I knew that you just, you know, 256 00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,451 you wanted to preserve the magic of the marriage. 257 00:09:11,476 --> 00:09:13,840 Okay, well, actually, you didn't know that. 258 00:09:13,865 --> 00:09:15,449 - Okay, I didn't know that. - No. 259 00:09:15,474 --> 00:09:17,412 But look, I felt the same way, so it's perfect. 260 00:09:17,414 --> 00:09:18,646 I solved our problem. 261 00:09:18,648 --> 00:09:19,981 Oh, yeah. 262 00:09:19,983 --> 00:09:20,677 Yeah. 263 00:09:20,702 --> 00:09:21,834 You solved that problem. 264 00:09:21,859 --> 00:09:24,193 Now you have a new problem. 265 00:09:24,218 --> 00:09:26,564 Hey... well, ha-ha to you. 266 00:09:26,589 --> 00:09:29,690 You can take my wallet, but I still have the valet ticket. 267 00:09:29,692 --> 00:09:31,259 Oh, no, I don't... wait, Heather! 268 00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:32,493 Heather, wait! 269 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,732 I'm done flying forever. 270 00:09:36,824 --> 00:09:40,592 Except at the indoor skydiving place that couldn't lift Daddy. 271 00:09:42,925 --> 00:09:44,458 That was a hard day for me. 272 00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:46,784 _ 273 00:09:47,124 --> 00:09:49,780 Amelia Earhart received many awards 274 00:09:49,805 --> 00:09:52,790 and inspired many other women with her bravery, 275 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,109 until 1937, 276 00:09:55,134 --> 00:09:58,369 when she disappeared while trying to fly around the world. 277 00:09:58,904 --> 00:10:00,749 Her plane was never found, 278 00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:04,943 but there is little doubt she crashed, probably in a volcano. 279 00:10:05,117 --> 00:10:06,884 So, in conclusion, 280 00:10:06,909 --> 00:10:09,781 never fly in a plane or you will die. 281 00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:11,771 Because Amelia was the best 282 00:10:11,796 --> 00:10:12,962 at flying, 283 00:10:12,964 --> 00:10:14,326 and now she's a skeleton 284 00:10:14,351 --> 00:10:18,311 in a volcano with her face frozen in horror 285 00:10:18,336 --> 00:10:20,736 like those poor people in Pompeii. 286 00:10:20,738 --> 00:10:21,804 Thank you. 287 00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:26,151 Oh, and I made a picture, too. 288 00:10:26,176 --> 00:10:27,822 Oh, look at that. 289 00:10:28,046 --> 00:10:31,314 I have a patient who draws just like that. 290 00:10:31,724 --> 00:10:32,686 Had a patient. 291 00:10:32,688 --> 00:10:33,983 Honey, I'm not sure 292 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,667 that the end of your report 293 00:10:35,692 --> 00:10:37,407 is entirely accurate. 294 00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:40,097 Yeah, lava would totally melt a skeleton. 295 00:10:40,122 --> 00:10:41,121 Come on. 296 00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:42,475 No, I mean that 297 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,732 that crash, that was a long time ago 298 00:10:44,757 --> 00:10:47,067 and planes are very, very safe now. 299 00:10:47,069 --> 00:10:48,769 - Yeah? - Safer than driving a car. 300 00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:49,703 Yeah. 301 00:10:49,705 --> 00:10:52,106 Well, I'm done flying forever, 302 00:10:52,389 --> 00:10:56,538 except at the indoor skydiving place that couldn't lift Daddy. 303 00:10:58,627 --> 00:11:00,460 That was a hard day for me. 304 00:11:00,846 --> 00:11:02,513 Dad, come on. Help me out. 305 00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:03,644 You've been flying for years. 306 00:11:03,669 --> 00:11:05,867 Tell her that there is nothing to be afraid of. 307 00:11:06,019 --> 00:11:07,185 I'll talk to her. 308 00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:08,638 I mean if you rent a jumpsuit 309 00:11:08,663 --> 00:11:10,617 - that's big enough for a customer... - I know, sweetie. 310 00:11:10,648 --> 00:11:12,036 the thing should be able to lift him. 311 00:11:12,061 --> 00:11:13,057 Hey, you were wronged. 312 00:11:13,082 --> 00:11:14,515 You were wronged that day. 313 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:19,510 You said you were taking me to Costco to buy a motorcycle. 314 00:11:19,535 --> 00:11:21,680 - What? Did I say that? - Mmm-hmm. 315 00:11:21,705 --> 00:11:25,407 The truth is I want you to see the inside of a real airplane, 316 00:11:25,675 --> 00:11:27,337 you know, for your report. 317 00:11:29,312 --> 00:11:31,812 After we prime the engine here... 318 00:11:32,956 --> 00:11:35,215 we yell, "Clear prop!", 319 00:11:35,217 --> 00:11:37,418 and then we just turn this key. 320 00:11:41,165 --> 00:11:43,893 You said we were just looking at switches. 321 00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:45,759 - Did I say that? - Yeah. 322 00:11:46,315 --> 00:11:49,770 I just want you to see how fun it is to roll down the runway. 323 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,881 We're staying on the runway, right? 324 00:11:56,906 --> 00:11:58,940 Sure are. 325 00:12:05,348 --> 00:12:08,115 You just said we were staying on the runway. 326 00:12:08,117 --> 00:12:10,261 - Oh, did I say that? - Yeah! 327 00:12:10,286 --> 00:12:13,054 I just want to take you up and do a quick barrel roll. 328 00:12:18,513 --> 00:12:20,761 See, you don't have to be scared, sweetheart. 329 00:12:20,763 --> 00:12:24,298 All planes glide nice and easy like those seagulls there. 330 00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:28,335 They do look like they're having fun. 331 00:12:28,337 --> 00:12:30,371 And so are we. 332 00:12:32,341 --> 00:12:33,640 You hit one! 333 00:12:33,642 --> 00:12:34,708 He hit us. 334 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,648 You're not supposed to divert 335 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,321 from your flight path like that. 336 00:12:37,346 --> 00:12:38,846 He's a bird. 337 00:12:38,848 --> 00:12:41,148 He's a dodo bird. 338 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:46,687 Why did that stop spinning? 339 00:12:46,689 --> 00:12:48,286 Don't we need that? 340 00:12:48,311 --> 00:12:50,401 Uh, I just turned it off for a second 341 00:12:50,426 --> 00:12:53,523 so you could hear how nice and quiet it sounds 342 00:12:53,548 --> 00:12:57,049 at 6,000, 5,000, 4,000... 343 00:12:57,199 --> 00:12:58,565 I think I'll turn it right back on now. 344 00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:04,271 Okay, now you can hear the fancy code 345 00:13:04,273 --> 00:13:06,407 that pilots use when they talk to the tower. 346 00:13:06,409 --> 00:13:07,841 Mayday, mayday. 347 00:13:07,843 --> 00:13:10,444 Doesn't mayday mean there's something wrong? 348 00:13:10,446 --> 00:13:11,945 Oh, no, if something was wrong 349 00:13:11,947 --> 00:13:14,148 I would say, uh, "Foam the runway. 350 00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:16,150 "Foam the runway. Charlie 408, 351 00:13:16,152 --> 00:13:17,885 we're experiencing engine failure." 352 00:13:17,887 --> 00:13:19,685 We don't have an engine? 353 00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,140 Sure we do. 354 00:13:21,165 --> 00:13:23,837 We got an engine right here. 355 00:13:24,994 --> 00:13:26,193 We don't have an engine. 356 00:13:26,195 --> 00:13:27,528 Are we going to die?! 357 00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:28,386 No! 358 00:13:28,411 --> 00:13:29,915 Because we have an engine. 359 00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:31,999 Damn it. 360 00:13:32,024 --> 00:13:32,866 Mayday, mayday. 361 00:13:32,868 --> 00:13:34,635 November Charlie 408. 362 00:13:34,637 --> 00:13:36,505 We'd like to declare an emergency. 363 00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:40,741 Get those trucks on standby and some ice cream. 364 00:13:40,743 --> 00:13:43,987 The ground is coming up really fast, Pop-Pop. 365 00:13:44,012 --> 00:13:45,312 Which is good. 366 00:13:45,381 --> 00:13:48,115 That's where we want to be, right? 367 00:13:48,117 --> 00:13:51,349 Hey, let's make sure that seatbelt is nice and snug, 368 00:13:51,374 --> 00:13:53,505 but not too snug, so you can loosen it 369 00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:55,546 in case we catch on fire. 370 00:13:55,571 --> 00:13:57,134 Fire? 371 00:13:58,506 --> 00:14:00,606 Okay, now, hold on. 372 00:14:11,874 --> 00:14:15,604 Ground, this is November Charlie 408. 373 00:14:15,629 --> 00:14:18,496 How are we doing with that ice cream? 374 00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:23,394 I know what you were doing up there. 375 00:14:24,004 --> 00:14:24,952 Huh? 376 00:14:24,954 --> 00:14:27,045 You made it seem like we were going to die 377 00:14:27,070 --> 00:14:29,657 so that I could see that planes can always land 378 00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:31,508 no matter how bad things get. 379 00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:33,913 And it worked. 380 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,231 I'm not afraid to fly anymore. 381 00:14:36,424 --> 00:14:37,341 Thank you, Pop-Pop. 382 00:14:37,366 --> 00:14:39,166 Yeah, you know what? 383 00:14:39,191 --> 00:14:41,725 I think I'm going to check that tire pressure real quick. 384 00:14:51,881 --> 00:14:53,140 I got the camera, I just need you 385 00:14:53,165 --> 00:14:54,414 to tell me, which filter do you want, 386 00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:58,051 Polaroid Transfer, Unfinished Basement, or grainy in Paris. 387 00:14:58,053 --> 00:14:59,920 Yeah, I don't know what you're saying, but no. 388 00:14:59,922 --> 00:15:01,054 No, got it. 389 00:15:02,282 --> 00:15:04,202 _ 390 00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:09,309 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 391 00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:14,408 ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪ 392 00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:15,872 Sorry, sorry, sorry... hold on, I'm sorry. 393 00:15:15,897 --> 00:15:16,785 No, something doesn't feel right. 394 00:15:16,810 --> 00:15:17,909 What is wrong with this picture? 395 00:15:18,099 --> 00:15:19,576 Yeah, I know, I know. 396 00:15:19,663 --> 00:15:20,995 You're absolutely right. 397 00:15:20,997 --> 00:15:22,964 You know, we thought that that short hair would look chic, 398 00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:24,105 but she looks like garbage. 399 00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:25,199 No. 400 00:15:25,201 --> 00:15:27,969 No, this just, this feels very sad. 401 00:15:27,971 --> 00:15:32,240 Us alone, nobody else here to celebrate her big moment. 402 00:15:32,242 --> 00:15:33,699 She's going to look back on this picture 403 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,799 and just think that, like, her birthday was a bummer. 404 00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:37,674 Okay, all right. 405 00:15:37,699 --> 00:15:40,251 So how can we fix this? 406 00:15:40,276 --> 00:15:42,476 Maybe we should invite... 407 00:15:43,687 --> 00:15:45,620 Uh, family? 408 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:46,939 Family. 409 00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:48,767 Your family? 410 00:15:48,792 --> 00:15:50,680 Because your family is on a boat in Nova Scotia. 411 00:15:50,705 --> 00:15:51,696 Nova Scotia, yeah. 412 00:15:51,721 --> 00:15:53,440 According to their last ham radio broadcast. 413 00:15:53,465 --> 00:15:54,942 Yeah, I realize that. 414 00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:58,323 So that really only leaves. 415 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,900 Don't make me say it. 416 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,816 Happy birthday, baby! 417 00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:06,893 Oh, I had to cancel my book club, 418 00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:10,519 but that's okay, because I'm so tired of those bitches anyway. 419 00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:13,715 At least some of them are starting to die off. 420 00:16:14,036 --> 00:16:17,518 Well, we're so happy you guys could all come last-minute. 421 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,120 Yeah, I didn't get to finish my round, 422 00:16:19,122 --> 00:16:20,985 but they'd already asked me to leave the course, 423 00:16:21,010 --> 00:16:22,523 so it worked out. 424 00:16:22,525 --> 00:16:24,576 Well, now that we're all here and Lark's in a good mood, 425 00:16:24,601 --> 00:16:26,418 why don't we gather around the table and do the cake? 426 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,365 I'll go get the camera. 427 00:16:27,390 --> 00:16:29,960 Actually can you hold off on the cake for just a few minutes? 428 00:16:29,985 --> 00:16:33,127 Clemmie and I planned a little birthday performance for Lark. 429 00:16:33,152 --> 00:16:34,412 Yeah, and we find that people 430 00:16:34,437 --> 00:16:35,482 tend to leave mid-song 431 00:16:35,507 --> 00:16:37,474 unless they're waiting around for something good. 432 00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:38,814 Okay. 433 00:16:39,335 --> 00:16:40,401 Okay, got the camera. 434 00:16:40,426 --> 00:16:41,234 Put the camera down, Greg. 435 00:16:41,259 --> 00:16:42,145 Okay. 436 00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:44,580 ♪ Chafing ♪ 437 00:16:44,605 --> 00:16:46,299 ♪ Burning ♪ 438 00:16:46,324 --> 00:16:49,258 ♪ The redness everywhere. ♪ 439 00:16:50,223 --> 00:16:53,291 ♪ The product of our friction ♪ 440 00:16:53,825 --> 00:16:56,958 ♪ Has left me itching and bare ♪ 441 00:16:57,436 --> 00:16:58,876 ♪ Don't let them know ♪ 442 00:16:58,901 --> 00:17:02,036 ♪ That the sting is potent ♪ 443 00:17:02,061 --> 00:17:05,729 ♪ The blister of our love hurts. ♪ 444 00:17:06,805 --> 00:17:07,969 Yeah. Really good. 445 00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:10,407 That song is called "Love Blister" 446 00:17:10,432 --> 00:17:11,631 Based on a true story. 447 00:17:12,486 --> 00:17:14,008 But-but he's okay now. 448 00:17:14,189 --> 00:17:15,522 Oh, good, good. 449 00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:17,112 - Oh, hi, guys. - Hey. 450 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,449 Just wanted to thank you again 451 00:17:18,474 --> 00:17:20,503 for inviting us last-minute. 452 00:17:20,528 --> 00:17:23,295 - And this, this is for Lark. - Ooh. 453 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,403 A beautiful rose... 454 00:17:24,427 --> 00:17:26,014 - for a beautiful one-year-old girl. - How beautiful. 455 00:17:26,015 --> 00:17:28,523 - Yeah, it's fresh from our garden. - Mhm. 456 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,524 Ah. 457 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:32,160 Or from the gas station on the way here. 458 00:17:32,162 --> 00:17:33,127 Yeah. 459 00:17:33,129 --> 00:17:34,499 Should we do the cake? 460 00:17:34,524 --> 00:17:36,097 - Let's do the... and the camera. - And the camera. Yes. 461 00:17:36,099 --> 00:17:37,480 Let me get the camera ready. 462 00:17:37,505 --> 00:17:39,072 Hello! 463 00:17:40,275 --> 00:17:42,847 Where's the birthday girl or groom? 464 00:17:42,872 --> 00:17:44,191 Not sure what this is. 465 00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:45,415 Vicky, come on in. 466 00:17:45,608 --> 00:17:46,774 Hey, guys. 467 00:17:46,776 --> 00:17:50,111 This is my present to Lark, a real, live princess. 468 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,765 Dad? 469 00:17:53,921 --> 00:17:55,216 What is going on? 470 00:17:55,218 --> 00:17:58,686 Well, Vicky is the drink cart girl at the club. 471 00:17:58,688 --> 00:17:59,754 I asked her what she did 472 00:17:59,756 --> 00:18:03,550 on the side for extra money, and she said this. 473 00:18:03,575 --> 00:18:06,127 John, why would you ask her that? 474 00:18:06,347 --> 00:18:08,365 I was just making conversation. 475 00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:11,091 Why does anyone ask anybody anything? 476 00:18:11,664 --> 00:18:13,178 Oh, I have a pair of those. 477 00:18:13,203 --> 00:18:14,669 Well, now you have two. 478 00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,628 Hey, let's get the picture thing going, right? 479 00:18:16,653 --> 00:18:18,020 While Lark's still in a good mood? 480 00:18:18,045 --> 00:18:19,874 I got the camera... guys, let's all gather round, 481 00:18:19,876 --> 00:18:21,775 take a photo with Lark, okay? 482 00:18:23,468 --> 00:18:24,800 Oh, no, no, no 483 00:18:24,825 --> 00:18:26,157 no, no, no, no, no. 484 00:18:26,182 --> 00:18:28,516 - No, she's crying. - Guys, I think she's teething. 485 00:18:28,518 --> 00:18:30,284 Oh, give her to me. 486 00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:32,730 I've got a great remedy for teething. 487 00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:33,912 - Really? - Yes, I do. 488 00:18:33,937 --> 00:18:35,347 I'll bring her right back. 489 00:18:35,372 --> 00:18:36,851 Okay, I'm going to get the cake. 490 00:18:36,876 --> 00:18:38,286 Yeah, I got the camera, I just need you 491 00:18:38,311 --> 00:18:39,629 to tell me, which filter do you want? 492 00:18:39,654 --> 00:18:41,993 I got Polaroid Transfer, Unfinished Basement, 493 00:18:42,018 --> 00:18:44,034 or Grainy in Paris. 494 00:18:44,059 --> 00:18:45,900 I don't know what you're saying, but no. 495 00:18:45,902 --> 00:18:47,229 No, got it. 496 00:18:50,702 --> 00:18:51,710 - You know, I wish we had had... - Yeah. 497 00:18:51,735 --> 00:18:53,106 these kind of parties with our kids, 498 00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:55,131 just the family and Vicky. 499 00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:56,676 Vicky's the best. 500 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:59,146 Hey, can I hire you to follow me around all the time? 501 00:18:59,148 --> 00:19:01,459 It's $100 an hour, 200 if I'm topless, 502 00:19:01,484 --> 00:19:03,594 - 300 if you want me to... - Okay, yeah, we're going, okay... 503 00:19:03,619 --> 00:19:04,625 Let's hear her rates. 504 00:19:04,650 --> 00:19:05,762 No, we're good. 505 00:19:05,787 --> 00:19:08,054 I'm going to just take that, thank you. 506 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,405 Joan, what did you do? 507 00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:10,643 She's, like, unconscious. 508 00:19:10,668 --> 00:19:13,435 Oh, I just rubbed a little whiskey on her gums. 509 00:19:14,389 --> 00:19:15,492 You did what? 510 00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:17,397 Yeah, it always works like a charm. 511 00:19:17,845 --> 00:19:19,374 But you... 512 00:19:19,399 --> 00:19:20,398 You gave her alcohol? 513 00:19:20,423 --> 00:19:21,052 Oh, sure. 514 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,203 My mom used to rub whiskey on my gums 515 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:25,939 when I was a baby, and it had no effect on me. 516 00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:29,559 Vicky, this was supposed to be a double. 517 00:19:30,579 --> 00:19:31,212 Mom? 518 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,086 I mean she's, like, blackout drunk. 519 00:19:33,111 --> 00:19:35,382 She's a little sleeping angel. 520 00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:37,784 All we wanted was a photo of Lark on her first birthday. 521 00:19:37,786 --> 00:19:39,139 Now she's too wasted to be in it. 522 00:19:39,164 --> 00:19:40,754 No, you know what? 523 00:19:41,293 --> 00:19:42,387 We're still going to get that picture 524 00:19:42,412 --> 00:19:43,995 come hell or high water. 525 00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:49,429 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Lark ♪ 526 00:19:49,616 --> 00:19:55,101 ♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ 527 00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:57,459 I've been wanting to use Weekend at Bernie's technology 528 00:19:57,484 --> 00:19:59,012 since the summer of 1989. 529 00:19:59,037 --> 00:20:00,671 I can't believe I'm finally doing it. 530 00:20:00,696 --> 00:20:03,289 Yeah, I can't believe that our one-year-old is drunk 531 00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:05,723 and I have to write a thank-you note for crotchless panties. 532 00:20:05,748 --> 00:20:06,962 But you know what? 533 00:20:06,987 --> 00:20:08,987 It's not just about the picture. 534 00:20:09,012 --> 00:20:10,345 It's about family. 535 00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:15,455 And how that family is ruining this picture. 536 00:20:15,457 --> 00:20:19,363 And I want Lark to have that memory forever, you know? 537 00:20:19,388 --> 00:20:20,521 Me, too, honey. 538 00:20:20,546 --> 00:20:21,561 All right, let's do this. 539 00:20:21,563 --> 00:20:22,242 All right, get in there. 540 00:20:22,267 --> 00:20:23,897 - Okay. - Which filter do you want me to use? 541 00:20:23,899 --> 00:20:25,227 No, I can't with the filters, okay. 542 00:20:25,252 --> 00:20:26,133 Okay. 543 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,211 Okay. 544 00:20:27,557 --> 00:20:28,746 All right, here we go. 545 00:20:28,771 --> 00:20:29,780 And... 546 00:20:47,945 --> 00:20:49,745 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 546 00:20:50,305 --> 00:20:56,426 Watch all episodes for free on www.FlixTor.to