1
00:00:04,703 --> 00:00:06,904
_

2
00:00:07,422 --> 00:00:09,155
Your family will be here any minute.

3
00:00:09,157 --> 00:00:10,323
Where should this go?

4
00:00:10,325 --> 00:00:11,987
By the drinks? By the food?

5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,122
Definitely by the drinks.

6
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,380
Great, it's settled.

7
00:00:14,476 --> 00:00:15,630
Maybe by the food.

8
00:00:15,655 --> 00:00:17,503
You're putting way
more thought into this

9
00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:19,072
than any date we've ever been on.

10
00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:21,076
Yeah, of course, because
if this goes badly,

11
00:00:21,101 --> 00:00:22,445
I can't fix it with sex.

12
00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:24,054
Everything has to be perfect.

13
00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:26,395
Your parents host brunch,
Jen and Greg have New Year's,

14
00:00:26,420 --> 00:00:27,665
Heather and Tim throw a party

15
00:00:27,697 --> 00:00:29,735
every time one of their
kids gets bigger pants.

16
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,393
I want tailgating to be our thing.

17
00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:34,083
Okay, okay, but maybe our thing
could not be hosting anything.

18
00:00:34,108 --> 00:00:37,142
There's a lot of honor
in just being a guest.

19
00:00:37,144 --> 00:00:38,866
- Hi, kids!
- Oh, they're here.

20
00:00:38,891 --> 00:00:40,456
- Hi!
- Hi!

21
00:00:40,481 --> 00:00:42,080
- Oh, darling.
- Hi.

22
00:00:42,082 --> 00:00:43,615
- Hi, baby.
- Hey, Mom.

23
00:00:43,617 --> 00:00:47,119
Oh, God, it's so great to
have the Rams back in L.A.

24
00:00:47,121 --> 00:00:49,321
You know, I've missed tailgating.

25
00:00:49,323 --> 00:00:50,956
You know what I love?

26
00:00:50,958 --> 00:00:53,333
Putting my hand up and
having somebody come by

27
00:00:53,358 --> 00:00:54,192
and give me a high five.

28
00:00:54,194 --> 00:00:55,859
Hey!

29
00:00:55,884 --> 00:00:57,846
It's the best. It's the best.

30
00:00:57,902 --> 00:00:59,902
- Honey, can I have the Purell? 
- Mm-hmm.

31
00:00:59,904 --> 00:01:01,952
John, you want to sit in the shade?

32
00:01:01,977 --> 00:01:04,456
No, I like the sun
myself, like a lizard.

33
00:01:04,508 --> 00:01:05,707
Move the chair. Move the chair.

34
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,265
- Okay.
- Go, go, go.

35
00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:08,556
Come here.

36
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:11,640
Okay.

37
00:01:12,065 --> 00:01:13,286
How's that?

38
00:01:13,311 --> 00:01:16,029
Oh, now I have to lift my
feet up if I want a drink.

39
00:01:16,054 --> 00:01:17,350
I need hydration.

40
00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:18,387
I'm not a lizard.

41
00:01:18,389 --> 00:01:19,555
No, honey,

42
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:22,486
just relax and enjoy the clam dip.

43
00:01:22,511 --> 00:01:24,745
Clam dip? Oh!

44
00:01:24,843 --> 00:01:28,140
Clam dip is a tailgating tradition.

45
00:01:28,165 --> 00:01:31,667
Now I emailed you the recipe
but maybe it went to spam

46
00:01:31,669 --> 00:01:33,021
because of the word clam.

47
00:01:33,046 --> 00:01:33,708
Yep.

48
00:01:33,733 --> 00:01:35,493
- It's all right, sweetheart.
- You like hummus?

49
00:01:35,518 --> 00:01:37,675
- No, dear, I don't.
- Oh.

50
00:01:40,177 --> 00:01:41,443
Veggies? Fun.

51
00:01:41,445 --> 00:01:43,445
I can't wait to taste the dirt.

52
00:01:43,447 --> 00:01:45,881
No problem... just dump a
bunch of clam dip on them.

53
00:01:45,883 --> 00:01:49,318
Yeah, I might not have realized
the importance of this clam dip.

54
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,379
Oh, honey, it's okay.

55
00:01:50,404 --> 00:01:52,349
These off-brand sodas
totally make up for it.

56
00:01:52,374 --> 00:01:53,489
I love Dr. Pobb.

57
00:01:53,491 --> 00:01:55,237
Yeah, yeah, don't sweat it.

58
00:01:55,262 --> 00:01:57,591
You'd have to be superhuman
to please the Short family.

59
00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:59,450
Of course, we do it every year
at our New Year's Eve party,

60
00:01:59,475 --> 00:02:00,873
but I'm heavily sedated.

61
00:02:00,898 --> 00:02:02,373
- Right.
- I actually think it's more impressive

62
00:02:02,398 --> 00:02:04,684
to throw an amazing party
for a milestone event.

63
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,087
You know, like when your kids realize

64
00:02:06,112 --> 00:02:06,979
that boogers aren't food.

65
00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:09,071
Ooh, I'd kill for a burger right now.

66
00:02:09,073 --> 00:02:10,105
Booger, babe.

67
00:02:10,107 --> 00:02:12,151
Ooh. Did I get it?

68
00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:13,943
You were so right.

69
00:02:13,945 --> 00:02:16,245
We should've never tried to
stake this out as our own.

70
00:02:16,247 --> 00:02:17,846
There's steak?

71
00:02:17,848 --> 00:02:18,981
No.

72
00:02:18,983 --> 00:02:20,549
This was a huge mistake.

73
00:02:20,551 --> 00:02:21,817
There's steak?

74
00:02:22,065 --> 00:02:23,264
- No.
- No.

75
00:02:23,289 --> 00:02:24,922
All I wanted to do
was impress your family

76
00:02:24,947 --> 00:02:26,700
and now they're just going to
remember this as the tailgate

77
00:02:26,725 --> 00:02:28,158
that Matt and Colleen screwed up.

78
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,060
It's okay. I'm going to save this.

79
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,129
There's a very easy solution.

80
00:02:33,713 --> 00:02:35,013
Clams?

81
00:02:35,234 --> 00:02:37,734
- Anybody got any fresh clams?
- No, man.

82
00:02:37,736 --> 00:02:39,069
Clams? No?

83
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,403
Mussels?

84
00:02:40,405 --> 00:02:43,073
Bivalves of any kind, sir?

85
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,841
Hey, man, a couple tailgates down

86
00:02:44,843 --> 00:02:47,911
there's a whole seafood
spread that nobody's watching.

87
00:02:47,913 --> 00:02:50,313
And there's an unaccompanied
purse if you're feeling brave.

88
00:02:50,315 --> 00:02:52,115
Oh, my God, you're Kurt Warner.

89
00:02:52,117 --> 00:02:53,316
Hey, man, how you doing?

90
00:02:53,318 --> 00:02:54,417
I'm a huge fan.

91
00:02:54,419 --> 00:02:55,452
Thanks, man.

92
00:02:55,454 --> 00:02:56,853
Hey, can-can you do me a favor?

93
00:02:56,855 --> 00:02:58,488
Do you have good food?

94
00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:00,090
Oh, sure.

95
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:00,987
Okay.

96
00:03:01,012 --> 00:03:02,211
All right, come on.

97
00:03:02,236 --> 00:03:04,070
Thank you so much. Right this way.

98
00:03:04,263 --> 00:03:06,129
Hey, everybody, everybody.

99
00:03:06,131 --> 00:03:08,306
Look who heard about
Colleen's amazing tailgate

100
00:03:08,331 --> 00:03:09,933
- and wanted to join us.
- Hey, how's everybody doing?

101
00:03:09,935 --> 00:03:11,134
- Oh, my God.
- Hey!

102
00:03:11,136 --> 00:03:12,736
Kurt Warner!

103
00:03:12,738 --> 00:03:15,739
Oh, my gosh! Kurt Warner!

104
00:03:15,741 --> 00:03:17,007
Is this where the food's at?

105
00:03:17,009 --> 00:03:19,743
Amazing... this is like
looking in the mirror.

106
00:03:19,745 --> 00:03:21,578
Hi! We love you, we love you.

107
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:24,047
And I am basically best friends
with Marshall Faulk, who you...

108
00:03:24,049 --> 00:03:26,750
Hey, hey, is that one
of those misting fans?

109
00:03:26,752 --> 00:03:28,285
Uh...

110
00:03:28,287 --> 00:03:29,286
Yeah? I mean...

111
00:03:29,288 --> 00:03:31,555
Would you like it?

112
00:03:31,557 --> 00:03:33,056
I wouldn't not like it, thank you.

113
00:03:33,058 --> 00:03:34,124
That feels awesome.

114
00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:36,028
This is so cool.

115
00:03:36,053 --> 00:03:38,829
I know, I know, it's Kurt
Warner, two-time league MVP,

116
00:03:38,831 --> 00:03:40,826
Super Bowl MVP, future Hall of Famer...

117
00:03:40,851 --> 00:03:41,998
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that.

118
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,858
But he's Kurt Warner, the
guy who got your family

119
00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:45,668
to stop complaining about my tailgate.

120
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,470
Yeah. Yeah.

121
00:03:47,472 --> 00:03:49,372
Yeah.

122
00:03:49,374 --> 00:03:51,608
Is he stealing Sophia's teddy bear?

123
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:55,545
Okay, one more hug from you,
then he's all mine, okay?

124
00:03:55,547 --> 00:03:56,713
- Okay?
- Okay.

125
00:03:56,715 --> 00:03:57,747
All right.

126
00:03:57,749 --> 00:03:58,834
Okay, all right, all right.

127
00:03:58,859 --> 00:03:59,677
That's...

128
00:03:59,702 --> 00:04:02,129
- Give it to him.
- Thank you, thank you.

129
00:04:02,797 --> 00:04:04,821
My dog's going to love
chewing on this thing.

130
00:04:06,325 --> 00:04:07,597
- You know what?
- She doesn't need it.

131
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,888
- The kid's got plenty of toys.
- She's fine.

132
00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:10,179
- You know? Yeah.
- She's fine.

133
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,831
Oh, I just made it.

134
00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:17,300
Oh, close, but it just slid off.

135
00:04:17,302 --> 00:04:18,802
Aww, man.

136
00:04:18,804 --> 00:04:19,736
I win!

137
00:04:19,738 --> 00:04:22,005
Yes! Yes, people!

138
00:04:22,007 --> 00:04:23,607
You guys suck at this.

139
00:04:23,609 --> 00:04:25,141
Kind of looks like you cheated.

140
00:04:25,143 --> 00:04:27,162
Spoken like a true loser, huh, people?

141
00:04:27,187 --> 00:04:28,178
Come on, huh?

142
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,160
Okay.

143
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,985
Good job, Kurt Warner.

144
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,649
All right, Rams on three!

145
00:04:32,651 --> 00:04:34,851
Ready... one, two, three!

146
00:04:34,853 --> 00:04:36,913
Rams!

147
00:04:36,938 --> 00:04:37,888
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

148
00:04:37,890 --> 00:04:39,089
Cool.

149
00:04:39,091 --> 00:04:40,215
Let me see how I looked in that.

150
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,327
Oh, my gosh, my nose looks huge.

151
00:04:42,352 --> 00:04:43,114
Oh, that's terrible.

152
00:04:43,139 --> 00:04:44,628
Yuck. Delete.

153
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:46,096
Delete, delete.

154
00:04:46,098 --> 00:04:47,364
Okay, well, now you're
just deleting photos

155
00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:48,462
of my kid's first birthday.

156
00:04:48,487 --> 00:04:50,420
Hey, which one of us won the Super Bowl?

157
00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:51,896
You want me to throw him out?

158
00:04:51,921 --> 00:04:53,623
I mean, not physically, because
that would end badly for me,

159
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:56,426
but, you know, ask him to
leave, like, really timidly?

160
00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:58,393
Honey, you know what?
I'm glad this happened.

161
00:04:58,418 --> 00:05:00,196
- Let him ruin it.
- Yeah.

162
00:05:00,198 --> 00:05:02,191
To the honorable job
of just being guests.

163
00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:04,116
That's our thing.

164
00:05:04,141 --> 00:05:05,907
Nice to meet you all!
Thank you very much.

165
00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:07,141
Take care, Kurt!

166
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,805
Is that our chair?

167
00:05:09,338 --> 00:05:11,174
He still has my phone.

168
00:05:11,176 --> 00:05:12,342
Oh!

169
00:05:13,536 --> 00:05:16,312
Hey, someone grab that Super Bowl MVP!

170
00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:18,198
_

171
00:05:21,511 --> 00:05:22,644
It's a piercing.

172
00:05:30,609 --> 00:05:31,708
Wait, wait, wait.

173
00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:33,163
I was here!

174
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:35,832
- Thank you.
- Flag on the play, you were holding me.

175
00:05:36,647 --> 00:05:38,113
Congratulations!

176
00:05:38,303 --> 00:05:39,832
You've been selected to participate

177
00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:41,971
in our halftime fan challenge.

178
00:05:41,973 --> 00:05:44,489
- What?
- That's so weak.

179
00:05:44,514 --> 00:05:46,016
You're always getting so lucky, Greg.

180
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,410
Penalty declined.

181
00:05:47,412 --> 00:05:50,097
Wow, I can't believe it!

182
00:05:50,122 --> 00:05:52,515
So, I, uh... I'm actually
going to get to, like,

183
00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:55,567
go out onto the actual field and stuff?

184
00:05:55,592 --> 00:05:58,843
And throw footballs
used by the actual team.

185
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,990
What?

186
00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:02,025
Oh!

187
00:06:02,027 --> 00:06:03,682
Oh, that is awesome.

188
00:06:03,707 --> 00:06:05,438
So you just throw a ball at a target

189
00:06:05,463 --> 00:06:06,485
and then you win a cruise?

190
00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:07,931
Yeah, I've already lost.

191
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:09,155
Eh, cruises are gross.

192
00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:11,385
At least Tim won't be
there wearing a Rasta hat

193
00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:12,802
with the dreadlocks sewn into it.

194
00:06:12,804 --> 00:06:14,882
No, I've already lost because...

195
00:06:17,062 --> 00:06:18,641
I don't know how to throw a spiral.

196
00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:19,877
What?

197
00:06:19,932 --> 00:06:22,300
Dude, we are a Rams family.

198
00:06:22,325 --> 00:06:24,255
Look, do you think I enjoy being the guy

199
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,325
that runs back every pass
when we're tailgating, yelling,

200
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:28,481
"Hey, he's found an opening!"

201
00:06:28,676 --> 00:06:31,475
You know, or acting like
it's super funny to punt it

202
00:06:31,477 --> 00:06:33,009
20 yards over everybody's heads.

203
00:06:33,011 --> 00:06:35,473
We just thought you were being a jerk.

204
00:06:35,498 --> 00:06:37,264
No, I'm a great guy.

205
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:38,526
Mmm.

206
00:06:38,551 --> 00:06:39,773
It's always been my greatest shame

207
00:06:39,798 --> 00:06:41,405
that this cannon of an arm

208
00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:43,508
could never master the
finesse required to throw

209
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,988
that perfect spiral.

210
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:45,914
Um...

211
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,161
Matt just tried so hard to teach me.

212
00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:49,593
I feel like I let him down.

213
00:06:50,283 --> 00:06:52,067
So Matt taught you?

214
00:06:52,092 --> 00:06:53,424
Yeah.

215
00:06:54,823 --> 00:06:56,856
Six yards on the play, third down.

216
00:06:56,881 --> 00:06:59,291
Hey, um, you know how you used to

217
00:06:59,316 --> 00:07:00,804
- teach Greg things?
- Yeah.

218
00:07:00,806 --> 00:07:03,169
Like if you pee in your
bed, it makes it yours,

219
00:07:03,194 --> 00:07:04,750
and if you kiss Dad

220
00:07:04,775 --> 00:07:06,905
right on the lips,
he'll live one more day.

221
00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:08,452
Dad couldn't beat him off with a stick.

222
00:07:08,477 --> 00:07:11,658
Okay, well, I think that
your football lessons

223
00:07:11,683 --> 00:07:13,885
really stuck with him.

224
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:15,519
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

225
00:07:15,521 --> 00:07:17,788
Rams fans, make sure you stick around

226
00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:19,589
for the NFL halftime challenge,

227
00:07:19,591 --> 00:07:23,013
where six lucky fans will show
us their quarterbacking skills.

228
00:07:23,038 --> 00:07:24,628
Oh, no.

229
00:07:24,630 --> 00:07:26,596
Yeah, just go, go.

230
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:34,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

231
00:07:43,568 --> 00:07:44,856
Oh, hey, man.

232
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,347
What you doing?

233
00:07:46,372 --> 00:07:47,918
Just getting ready for halftime.

234
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,580
Yeah, I got to throw a ball
through a... through a target,

235
00:07:50,605 --> 00:07:52,882
so I'm just trying to decide if
I want to, you know, drop back,

236
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,075
throw from the pocket, or
maybe bless the receiver

237
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,281
on a, you know, play action.

238
00:07:57,306 --> 00:07:58,572
Let me see both.

239
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,359
Yeah, okay. Yeah.

240
00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:07,237
Omaha, Omaha, Omaha!

241
00:08:07,262 --> 00:08:07,865
Hut!

242
00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:08,817
Hut!

243
00:08:10,676 --> 00:08:13,009
Oh, he sees an opening!

244
00:08:13,011 --> 00:08:16,386
Oh yeah, you can't
throw a spiral, can you?

245
00:08:16,411 --> 00:08:18,070
No, I can't.

246
00:08:18,095 --> 00:08:20,328
And it's stupid... I'm
trying so hard, you know?

247
00:08:20,353 --> 00:08:22,974
I'm doing the okay method,
just like you taught me,

248
00:08:22,999 --> 00:08:24,626
- but it's not working... it's not okay.
- Okay.

249
00:08:24,651 --> 00:08:27,257
You don't put your finger and
your thumb together, right?

250
00:08:27,259 --> 00:08:29,226
You grab the ball on
the laces, like this.

251
00:08:29,228 --> 00:08:30,534
See?

252
00:08:36,417 --> 00:08:39,002
You taught me how to throw wrong.

253
00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:40,370
Are you serious?

254
00:08:40,372 --> 00:08:42,429
I can't throw a football because of you?

255
00:08:42,454 --> 00:08:43,934
I thought you'd learn how eventually

256
00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:45,327
once you started playing
with your friends.

257
00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:46,896
I didn't have any friends
because I didn't know how

258
00:08:46,921 --> 00:08:48,153
to throw a football!

259
00:08:48,313 --> 00:08:49,604
Do you have any idea what it's like

260
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:50,881
to walk out on the field and ask,

261
00:08:50,883 --> 00:08:53,683
"Hey, anyone want to
long snap to each other?"

262
00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:58,808
Look, man, you were better
than me in so many ways.

263
00:08:58,833 --> 00:08:59,823
You were better in school,

264
00:08:59,825 --> 00:09:01,435
you were better at making
Mom Mothers' Day cards.

265
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:03,171
You even smell better.

266
00:09:03,196 --> 00:09:04,991
Like a freaking Yankee candle.

267
00:09:05,016 --> 00:09:07,005
I do have a natural
Christmas tree scent.

268
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,332
So I guess I just told you
the wrong way to do things

269
00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:11,868
so that, you know, we'd be even.

270
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:14,582
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

271
00:09:14,607 --> 00:09:15,873
Things?

272
00:09:16,498 --> 00:09:17,274
Things?

273
00:09:17,489 --> 00:09:18,823
You mean there's more?

274
00:09:18,848 --> 00:09:20,677
Yeah, there may be.

275
00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,279
Wow.

276
00:09:23,215 --> 00:09:26,062
If a stop sign has a white
border, is it optional?

277
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:27,422
You still got your license.

278
00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:29,972
Does touching my pee stream
prevent me from getting a cold?

279
00:09:29,997 --> 00:09:31,027
That's when I was in my

280
00:09:31,052 --> 00:09:32,931
"let's see how far I
can take this" phase.

281
00:09:32,956 --> 00:09:35,381
Does putting chewing gum behind
my ear help me keep my balance?

282
00:09:35,406 --> 00:09:36,605
I don't even remember that one.

283
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,429
I do.

284
00:09:39,431 --> 00:09:41,264
Man, I'm really sorry.

285
00:09:41,266 --> 00:09:43,080
I was a jealous kid.

286
00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:44,468
But I do want to make it up to you,

287
00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:45,702
and I'm going to start right now.

288
00:09:45,704 --> 00:09:47,232
I'm going to teach you
how to throw a football.

289
00:09:47,552 --> 00:09:49,606
- I would like to win that cruise.
- Yeah.

290
00:09:49,949 --> 00:09:52,205
Even if staying on a
boat longer than 24 hours

291
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:53,963
makes your toes shrink.

292
00:09:57,856 --> 00:09:59,249
Damn it!

293
00:09:59,251 --> 00:10:02,619
Ladies and gentlemen,
please turn your attention

294
00:10:02,621 --> 00:10:08,024
to midfield for our NFL
halftime quarterback challenge.

295
00:10:08,445 --> 00:10:10,427
It's just like throwing in our backyard.

296
00:10:11,039 --> 00:10:12,262
Yeah.

297
00:10:12,718 --> 00:10:14,764
If we had a hundred thousand neighbors.

298
00:10:14,766 --> 00:10:15,919
Okay.

299
00:10:17,036 --> 00:10:20,100
Today's champion wins an
all-expense-paid cruise

300
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,544
to sunny Bahamas.

301
00:10:21,569 --> 00:10:22,664
That's what I'm talking about!

302
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,123
Contestants, take your places.

303
00:10:26,966 --> 00:10:27,911
All right, man.

304
00:10:27,913 --> 00:10:29,179
Just like I told you...

305
00:10:29,181 --> 00:10:31,742
put your fingers here, all right?

306
00:10:31,781 --> 00:10:34,425
- Release, don't overthink it.
- I got it.

307
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:35,782
Here we go.

308
00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:39,222
Three, two, one, go!

309
00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:01,231
Did you see that?

310
00:11:01,256 --> 00:11:02,862
- That was beautiful.
- Did you see that?

311
00:11:02,887 --> 00:11:04,180
I did it!

312
00:11:04,182 --> 00:11:05,955
I'm going on a cruise! Look at the...

313
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,384
We're going on a...

314
00:11:07,642 --> 00:11:08,807
Why are they still throwing?

315
00:11:08,832 --> 00:11:10,132
Why is everybody still throwing?

316
00:11:10,157 --> 00:11:11,909
Oh, no, you know what?

317
00:11:11,934 --> 00:11:14,058
I think it's how many balls
you get inside the target.

318
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,750
It's not the first ball to go in?

319
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,118
I don't know, they were
announcing the rules

320
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:18,650
while you were stretching...
weren't you listening?

321
00:11:18,675 --> 00:11:19,896
Well, I was listening to my body.

322
00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,274
- Weren't you listening?
- No, I was back there

323
00:11:21,299 --> 00:11:23,070
trying to remember all
the lies I've told you.

324
00:11:23,095 --> 00:11:24,234
Because you are a liar,

325
00:11:24,236 --> 00:11:25,502
and you did it again, didn't you?

326
00:11:25,504 --> 00:11:26,603
- You lied to me!
- What?

327
00:11:26,605 --> 00:11:28,805
You wanted me to lose, admit it!

328
00:11:28,807 --> 00:11:30,291
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did!

329
00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:31,708
You don't...

330
00:11:42,291 --> 00:11:44,067
Son of a gun!

331
00:11:44,856 --> 00:11:47,390
Look, Daddy, it's Rampage the Ram!

332
00:11:47,392 --> 00:11:49,292
Hey, Sophia!

333
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,463
Never follow someone in a costume!

334
00:11:51,488 --> 00:11:53,648
We showed you a whole video about that.

335
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,859
_

336
00:11:58,782 --> 00:12:00,916
- Oh!
- Daddy, I need to go to the bathroom.

337
00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:03,362
Wait? Oh, no, no, you can't
go to the bathroom now.

338
00:12:03,387 --> 00:12:05,020
You'll just have to wait
until your mother comes back.

339
00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:05,954
I can't.

340
00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:07,831
But your introduction to football

341
00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:08,690
has got to be perfect

342
00:12:08,692 --> 00:12:10,138
or I'll never get the sports buddy

343
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,810
I so desperately need.

344
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:13,328
Look at them!

345
00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:14,696
They're useless!

346
00:12:14,698 --> 00:12:17,078
- But nature calls!
- Then you tell nature

347
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,558
that you will call her back

348
00:12:18,583 --> 00:12:22,262
because you are busy creating a
life-long passion for football.

349
00:12:22,294 --> 00:12:24,344
I'm going to create in my pants

350
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,129
if you don't get me to a bathroom.

351
00:12:26,131 --> 00:12:27,530
Come on!

352
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,426
Tim! Where you going?

353
00:12:29,451 --> 00:12:30,700
I don't know.

354
00:12:31,003 --> 00:12:32,246
I'm... damn it!

355
00:12:33,714 --> 00:12:35,080
Oh, here we go.

356
00:12:38,109 --> 00:12:41,311
Dad, I need privacy or I can't go.

357
00:12:42,818 --> 00:12:44,847
You get that from me.

358
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,618
You okay in there, sweetheart?

359
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,486
Doing fine, princess!

360
00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:52,288
How about you?

361
00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,023
All done.

362
00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:55,001
Oh, no!

363
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,827
Just close your eyes, honey.

364
00:12:57,829 --> 00:13:00,096
You're the wrong height to be in here.

365
00:13:01,866 --> 00:13:02,999
Boys are lucky.

366
00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:05,101
- They get to pee in a sink.
- Yeah.

367
00:13:05,103 --> 00:13:07,696
Mom always says I can't,
but sometimes I do.

368
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:08,721
Yeah, yeah, so do I.

369
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,280
Hey, look, I don't
think anybody scored yet,

370
00:13:10,305 --> 00:13:12,592
so let's get back to our seats.

371
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,576
Touchdown!

372
00:13:13,601 --> 00:13:14,944
Oh!

373
00:13:14,946 --> 00:13:16,846
All right, come on. Sophia, let's go.

374
00:13:16,848 --> 00:13:18,182
Sophia?

375
00:13:19,719 --> 00:13:20,960
Sophia!

376
00:13:21,436 --> 00:13:22,629
Ooh!

377
00:13:22,654 --> 00:13:24,153
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

378
00:13:24,155 --> 00:13:26,846
I need a souvenir to
remember my first game by.

379
00:13:26,871 --> 00:13:27,970
Great, let's get that.

380
00:13:28,953 --> 00:13:30,222
Oh, great, yeah, yeah.

381
00:13:30,247 --> 00:13:32,249
- Let's get that, good one.
- Extra point is good!

382
00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:33,440
Great, yeah, hat.

383
00:13:33,465 --> 00:13:35,365
Let's get that. Come on.

384
00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:38,001
Oh, bear, yes. Let's get that.

385
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,068
Yes!

386
00:13:39,070 --> 00:13:41,471
Oh, good choice, let's get that.

387
00:13:42,677 --> 00:13:45,427
Do you want the blue
one or the pink one?

388
00:13:45,452 --> 00:13:47,719
No! Don't give her choices!

389
00:13:49,622 --> 00:13:50,647
Hmm.

390
00:13:50,649 --> 00:13:52,582
Hey, let me carry that bag.

391
00:13:52,584 --> 00:13:53,516
Okay.

392
00:13:53,518 --> 00:13:54,984
Look, Daddy!

393
00:13:54,986 --> 00:13:56,586
It's Rampage the Ram!

394
00:13:56,588 --> 00:13:58,488
Hey, Sophia!

395
00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:00,456
Never follow someone in a costume!

396
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:02,625
We showed you a whole video about that.

397
00:14:02,627 --> 00:14:05,977
But wouldn't it be awesome
if I got a picture with him?

398
00:14:06,002 --> 00:14:07,710
Then I could show all of my friends

399
00:14:07,735 --> 00:14:09,599
that I'm a true Rams fan.

400
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:11,505
Okay.

401
00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:13,897
- Stop that furry!
- Yeah!

402
00:14:20,612 --> 00:14:22,413
No! No!

403
00:14:22,452 --> 00:14:24,364
Aw, come on, Rampage!

404
00:14:24,366 --> 00:14:25,610
Please!

405
00:14:25,635 --> 00:14:28,005
It's kind of sad you
couldn't catch up to a man

406
00:14:28,030 --> 00:14:30,685
in an 80-pound ram costume.

407
00:14:30,865 --> 00:14:32,646
He's a professional athlete.

408
00:14:32,787 --> 00:14:34,629
Well, I guess we just got to go upstairs

409
00:14:34,654 --> 00:14:36,009
and watch the rest of the game.

410
00:14:36,011 --> 00:14:37,427
Bummer.

411
00:14:38,613 --> 00:14:39,579
No!

412
00:14:39,581 --> 00:14:42,131
No! It's locked!

413
00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:43,633
No, no, no, no!

414
00:14:43,635 --> 00:14:45,435
No, no, no, no, no!

415
00:14:45,437 --> 00:14:46,874
Oh!

416
00:14:46,899 --> 00:14:49,756
Ah! We're trapped!

417
00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:51,768
I can't believe

418
00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:52,925
we're going to miss the game.

419
00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:54,727
Sorry, sweetie.

420
00:14:54,729 --> 00:14:57,422
Looks like your introduction
to football has been ruined.

421
00:14:57,447 --> 00:14:58,633
That's okay.

422
00:14:58,658 --> 00:15:00,950
I don't really understand
the game anyway.

423
00:15:01,311 --> 00:15:02,433
You don't?

424
00:15:02,762 --> 00:15:04,339
Oh, no, no.

425
00:15:04,364 --> 00:15:07,215
Well, then, we're
going to have to have...

426
00:15:08,076 --> 00:15:09,242
the talk.

427
00:15:10,578 --> 00:15:13,763
Okay, this bear is the ball.

428
00:15:13,765 --> 00:15:15,498
So you are going to hold onto that ball

429
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:16,899
and you're going to try to run past me.

430
00:15:16,901 --> 00:15:17,719
I'm going to try to stop you

431
00:15:17,744 --> 00:15:19,202
and I'm going to try to take that ball.

432
00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:20,737
Okay.

433
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,217
What? What are you doing?

434
00:15:23,242 --> 00:15:24,556
Seems like you really wanted it.

435
00:15:24,581 --> 00:15:25,478
Oh, I do really want it.

436
00:15:25,503 --> 00:15:27,271
But you also really want it.

437
00:15:27,607 --> 00:15:28,277
I don't care.

438
00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:30,413
No, Sophia.

439
00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:31,926
- Hey!
- Sike!

440
00:15:31,978 --> 00:15:33,483
Touchdown!

441
00:15:33,485 --> 00:15:37,186
Oh, mm-hmm, go Rams!

442
00:15:37,188 --> 00:15:38,154
I did it!

443
00:15:38,156 --> 00:15:40,156
I see, the old quarterback sneak.

444
00:15:40,158 --> 00:15:41,190
Well, what about this?

445
00:15:41,192 --> 00:15:43,893
Whoa! Dad!

446
00:15:44,717 --> 00:15:47,185
What...

447
00:15:48,095 --> 00:15:49,298
Are you okay, little girl?

448
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,900
I have a panic button in my costume,

449
00:15:50,902 --> 00:15:52,201
and I'm not afraid to use it.

450
00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:55,271
I think the appropriate response

451
00:15:55,296 --> 00:15:57,913
would be to ask me if I'm also okay.

452
00:16:00,528 --> 00:16:02,228
They just scored a touchdown.

453
00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:03,763
Which is worth how much?

454
00:16:03,765 --> 00:16:04,632
Six.

455
00:16:04,657 --> 00:16:06,394
Until they make an extra point

456
00:16:06,419 --> 00:16:08,034
- or a two-point conversion. 
- Conversion.

457
00:16:08,036 --> 00:16:10,770
Oh, it looks like we
got a fan here, huh?

458
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:12,972
Kurt Warner has my fan.

459
00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,807
I know, sweetie.

460
00:16:16,978 --> 00:16:18,978
I'm going to listen to my book on tape.

461
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:22,715
Tell me if anything exciting
happens and I'll do the same.

462
00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:25,829
Oh, damn, I just bought more seats.

463
00:16:27,161 --> 00:16:28,716
_

464
00:16:29,577 --> 00:16:32,244
Sure is hard to see from way up here.

465
00:16:32,246 --> 00:16:33,327
Well, I'm sorry, Joanie.

466
00:16:33,352 --> 00:16:35,652
I thought I was buying
the expensive seats.

467
00:16:35,677 --> 00:16:38,576
It turns out I bought
30 of the cheap ones.

468
00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,669
You win this time, Internet.

469
00:16:40,671 --> 00:16:41,606
Well, you know what?

470
00:16:41,631 --> 00:16:43,597
What really matters
is that we're together

471
00:16:43,622 --> 00:16:47,438
and that now we can
comfortably spread out, right?

472
00:16:47,463 --> 00:16:49,640
Huh? No? Okay.

473
00:16:49,665 --> 00:16:51,898
Well, I'm going to
listen to my book on tape.

474
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:55,299
Tell me if anything exciting
happens and I'll do the same.

475
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,499
Oh, damn, I just bought more seats.

476
00:16:58,663 --> 00:17:02,204
We're so high up my hot dog's
going to be brought by a Sherpa.

477
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:03,996
Hey, Joan,

478
00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:05,907
there's open seats lower
down... let's go grab two.

479
00:17:05,932 --> 00:17:07,666
No, that wouldn't be right.

480
00:17:07,691 --> 00:17:08,957
They're not ours.

481
00:17:08,959 --> 00:17:12,494
Well, actually, no, um,
a partner at my law firm

482
00:17:12,519 --> 00:17:14,871
has season tickets, and he
told me he's having an affair

483
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:18,597
this weekend, and also he's
not very good at having affairs.

484
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:20,588
Well, let's go grab those seats

485
00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:23,258
before he loses them in the divorce.

486
00:17:26,152 --> 00:17:28,308
Ready? Break!

487
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:29,564
Yes!

488
00:17:29,566 --> 00:17:30,906
Oh, I feel bad

489
00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:33,568
the family is way up
there and we're down here.

490
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,804
I wonder if they can even see us.

491
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:39,574
Suckers!

492
00:17:39,576 --> 00:17:41,826
Do you think you could
get these seats again?

493
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,561
Um, I don't, but mostly because

494
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,865
I made up that thing about
these being our season tickets.

495
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,033
These were just two random open seats.

496
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:49,934
- You mean we're here illegally?
- Yeah.

497
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,369
- We have to go, we have to go right now.
- What?

498
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,004
Wait, no, hey, come on.

499
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:54,456
What is the worst that could happen?

500
00:17:54,481 --> 00:17:58,134
We're found out, we're caught,
and we're publicly shamed.

501
00:17:58,159 --> 00:18:00,288
Okay, worst case
scenario, an usher comes,

502
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,680
politely asks us to leave

503
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,259
and we go back up to
one of our other 30 seats

504
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,017
in Machu Picchu.

505
00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:08,687
Men are here, men are here for us.

506
00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:10,555
I believe you two are in our seats.

507
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,023
I'm going to throw up.

508
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:13,591
Can we see your tickets?

509
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,694
We don't have to show you anything.

510
00:18:15,696 --> 00:18:17,028
These are our seats.

511
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,798
Don't anger them, they might
be undercover detectives.

512
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,166
Hello, officers.

513
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,333
Well, I've got a quick fix.

514
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,824
We can just have the usher come over,

515
00:18:23,849 --> 00:18:25,382
take a little looksie-loo at the tickets

516
00:18:25,407 --> 00:18:26,739
and then kick out the liars.

517
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,406
We're the liars!

518
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,589
Oh, uh,

519
00:18:29,614 --> 00:18:31,447
these are for next week's game.

520
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,647
You said girls were dumb!

521
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:37,148
How did you do that?

522
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,584
How did you know they were bluffing?

523
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,453
Because half their faces were sunburnt.

524
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,888
They were clearly up there
in the nosebleeds with us.

525
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,244
You are so good.

526
00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:46,500
You are good.

527
00:18:46,637 --> 00:18:49,825
You're like that woman TV detective.

528
00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:52,441
- You know, she's so brilliant at her job. 
- Mm-hmm.

529
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,636
Her personal life's a mess, but...

530
00:18:54,661 --> 00:18:55,927
Yeah, what can you do?

531
00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:59,858
Anyway, um, I think all this
is a little too much for me,

532
00:18:59,883 --> 00:19:02,406
so I'm going to go home
and-and think of ways

533
00:19:02,431 --> 00:19:03,998
I can give back to the community.

534
00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:05,489
Hey, no, come on!

535
00:19:05,582 --> 00:19:06,822
What is your deal?

536
00:19:06,847 --> 00:19:09,027
Like, what traumatized you as a child?

537
00:19:09,052 --> 00:19:10,118
I was ten.

538
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,586
Oh, okay, so something actually did

539
00:19:11,588 --> 00:19:12,587
traumatize you as a child.

540
00:19:12,589 --> 00:19:14,088
- I was ten.
- Oh.

541
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:16,297
And we had tickets to the circus.

542
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:20,432
And a mime had put a
small rag on my seat.

543
00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:26,613
And I sat down and then
he pulled the rag out

544
00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:29,708
and it looked like I
had eliminated the rag.

545
00:19:30,807 --> 00:19:33,975
- He was good.
- Yeah, he sounds very talented.

546
00:19:33,977 --> 00:19:35,290
- Yeah.
- Wow.

547
00:19:35,315 --> 00:19:36,811
And so, yeah, so then that-that mime

548
00:19:36,813 --> 00:19:38,179
- played a trick on you.
- Yeah.

549
00:19:38,181 --> 00:19:41,582
And everybody was watching
and laughing and...

550
00:19:41,584 --> 00:19:43,418
And that's why you became a therapist.

551
00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:46,790
- No, that's unrelated.
- Okay.

552
00:19:48,863 --> 00:19:50,763
Let's go, Rams!

553
00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:53,404
Oh, I'm so glad you made me do this.

554
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,146
- Ah!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

555
00:19:57,171 --> 00:19:58,821
- Okay.
- What is that?

556
00:19:58,846 --> 00:19:59,548
Well, that's the mascot

557
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,335
and he's pretending
that you're in his seat.

558
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,875
- Oh, no, I don't like this.
- I know.

559
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:04,445
Uh oh, Rams fans,

560
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,083
looks like somebody's in Rampage's seat.

561
00:20:07,108 --> 00:20:07,825
Oh, no!

562
00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:09,415
Oh, no, no, thank you.

563
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,709
I-I-I-I don't want do this,
I'm just on my way home.

564
00:20:12,734 --> 00:20:15,005
Uh, hey, Joan, I think
maybe you should play along

565
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,056
because you're actually
on the Jumbotron.

566
00:20:17,058 --> 00:20:18,390
Oh, my God.

567
00:20:18,392 --> 00:20:21,458
Everybody's watching. They're laughing.

568
00:20:21,483 --> 00:20:23,470
Better show Rampage your
ticket, because he has his.

569
00:20:23,495 --> 00:20:24,244
Stop this!

570
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:25,911
The only way to get rid of Rampage

571
00:20:25,936 --> 00:20:27,499
is to beat him in a dance-off!

572
00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:29,640
No, no, I don't want a dance-off.

573
00:20:29,665 --> 00:20:32,371
- You got to dance.
- I don't want it.

574
00:20:32,373 --> 00:20:34,297
No, no, please!

575
00:20:34,719 --> 00:20:36,642
I just don't want to do this.

576
00:20:36,644 --> 00:20:38,577
Oh, make it stop!

577
00:20:38,579 --> 00:20:40,432
Please make it stop!

578
00:20:40,457 --> 00:20:44,550
I can't... get away
from me, you old goat!

579
00:20:46,908 --> 00:20:49,187
Okay, well, now we're
actually getting kicked out.

580
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:54,726
Synced and corrected by Octavia 
- www.addic7ed.com -

581
00:20:55,305 --> 00:21:01,173
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