1
00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:06,917
_

2
00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:08,899
- All right, keep 'em closed.
- Yeah, they're closed.

3
00:00:08,901 --> 00:00:10,768
- They're closed? All right.
- Yes. Okay.

4
00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:12,770
Okay, you ready for your
Valentine's Day surprise?

5
00:00:12,772 --> 00:00:14,290
Yeah. It's gonna be tough to beat

6
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,317
all our other Valentine's Day surprises:

7
00:00:16,342 --> 00:00:18,576
the flu, our basement flooding,

8
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,874
the time that you got pepper-sprayed

9
00:00:19,899 --> 00:00:21,265
by that lady selling roses.

10
00:00:21,290 --> 00:00:22,857
Yeah, I was just reaching for a hair.

11
00:00:22,949 --> 00:00:25,302
I didn't know it was attached to
her face. Okay, open your eyes.

12
00:00:25,327 --> 00:00:26,880
Okay.

13
00:00:26,905 --> 00:00:29,072
Oh, my God! Greg!

14
00:00:29,259 --> 00:00:30,758
This is so romantic.

15
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,493
Happy Valentine's Day.

16
00:00:32,495 --> 00:00:35,897
Tonight we break the tradition
of horrible Valentine's Days.

17
00:00:35,899 --> 00:00:37,665
That means we are staying in.

18
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:39,033
No traffic, right?

19
00:00:39,035 --> 00:00:40,468
No going to the wrong restaurant.

20
00:00:40,470 --> 00:00:42,380
No bathroom accidents in traffic

21
00:00:42,405 --> 00:00:43,638
on the way to the wrong restaurant.

22
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,274
Yeah, well, I was pregnant.
It happens to a lot of women.

23
00:00:46,276 --> 00:00:47,957
We've got a private chef...

24
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:49,067
who is cooking us

25
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,312
a very romantic dinner.

26
00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:53,081
So tonight the restaurant is right here.

27
00:00:53,817 --> 00:00:55,510
- Hello.
- Oh, hi.

28
00:00:55,535 --> 00:00:56,697
Hi, I'm Allie.

29
00:00:56,722 --> 00:00:58,129
- Hi.
- You must be Jen.

30
00:00:58,154 --> 00:00:59,287
I am.

31
00:00:59,312 --> 00:01:01,078
Hope you guys are hungry.

32
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,468
Wow, that looks amazing.

33
00:01:03,493 --> 00:01:05,188
- Oh, you look amazing.
- Thank you.

34
00:01:05,213 --> 00:01:06,427
Your body's so tight.

35
00:01:06,429 --> 00:01:07,795
A little vino?

36
00:01:07,797 --> 00:01:09,764
- Yeah, sure. Fill it to the top.
- Mm-hmm.

37
00:01:09,766 --> 00:01:11,866
We ain't got nowhere
to drive, and the baby's

38
00:01:11,868 --> 00:01:13,568
with the sitter until tomorrow.

39
00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:14,445
Aw.

40
00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:16,970
- You guys have a baby? Fun.
- Yeah.

41
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,862
The state has my baby.

42
00:01:19,042 --> 00:01:20,908
Enjoy the crab salad.

43
00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:23,244
Huh.

44
00:01:23,246 --> 00:01:25,569
Well, honey, this really...
it-it means so much.

45
00:01:25,594 --> 00:01:26,785
I know that you would've preferred

46
00:01:26,810 --> 00:01:29,050
to spend the money on
a close-up magic guy.

47
00:01:29,052 --> 00:01:30,852
No, no, no. Baby,
tonight is all about you.

48
00:01:30,854 --> 00:01:33,121
I mean, Heather gave me the
recommendation for Allie here,

49
00:01:33,123 --> 00:01:34,188
so I booked her.

50
00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:35,490
- Aw.
- Besides,

51
00:01:35,492 --> 00:01:37,959
Eric the Amazing was not available.

52
00:01:37,961 --> 00:01:39,127
But don't worry.

53
00:01:39,129 --> 00:01:42,130
I already locked him down
for Christmas Eve 2018.

54
00:01:42,132 --> 00:01:44,940
Well, if this food tastes
as good as it looks,

55
00:01:44,965 --> 00:01:47,702
that's not the only thing
you're gonna have locked down.

56
00:01:47,704 --> 00:01:48,703
That's what I'm talking about.

57
00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:49,737
- Get it.
- Okay? Hey-o.

58
00:01:49,739 --> 00:01:51,906
Also, I'm gonna be out of town

59
00:01:51,908 --> 00:01:53,941
for Christmas Eve 2018.

60
00:01:54,944 --> 00:01:57,178
I just remembered.

61
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,041
Who's ready for round two?

62
00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:01,783
Mmm.

63
00:02:01,808 --> 00:02:02,955
Hey, hey.

64
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:03,785
Oh.

65
00:02:03,787 --> 00:02:05,553
This is the best meal I've had

66
00:02:05,555 --> 00:02:07,789
since we took that trip to N'awlins.

67
00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:09,891
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah, that was the trip

68
00:02:09,893 --> 00:02:11,926
where you decided to march
with everyone's funerals.

69
00:02:11,928 --> 00:02:13,561
- Yeah, they're called second lines.
- Yeah.

70
00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,663
I remember when I had love.

71
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,566
Long time ago.

72
00:02:18,568 --> 00:02:20,671
My ex-husband was a gambling addict.

73
00:02:20,696 --> 00:02:22,743
I bet he still is, unless he's dead.

74
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:23,938
Wouldn't that be weird?

75
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,273
That'd be so weird.

76
00:02:27,177 --> 00:02:29,344
Cheers.

77
00:02:31,756 --> 00:02:33,781
Y'all got to get this
fixed. It's broken.

78
00:02:36,237 --> 00:02:38,856
Hey, do you think she should
be drinking that much wine

79
00:02:38,881 --> 00:02:42,000
with, you know, knives and a
hot stove and the emergency cash

80
00:02:42,025 --> 00:02:43,725
you keep in that box
of ice cream sandwiches?

81
00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:46,994
No, I... no, sh-she's fine.
I mean, she's a professional.

82
00:02:46,996 --> 00:02:49,163
Okay.

83
00:02:49,165 --> 00:02:52,667
Who keeps glass in a kitchen?!

84
00:02:52,669 --> 00:02:54,502
But on second thought...

85
00:02:54,504 --> 00:02:57,138
Yeah. Probably a good idea.

86
00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:58,873
Mmm.

87
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,809
Allie?

88
00:03:01,811 --> 00:03:03,277
Everything okay?

89
00:03:03,279 --> 00:03:05,213
Oh, it's so great. Everything's fine.

90
00:03:05,215 --> 00:03:07,248
Who's ready for the main course?

91
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:09,283
Damn it, Allie!

92
00:03:09,285 --> 00:03:11,819
You're a mess up here,
you're a mess down there.

93
00:03:11,821 --> 00:03:13,287
Oh, I'm so sorry.

94
00:03:13,289 --> 00:03:15,223
- It's okay.
- Are you mad at me?

95
00:03:15,225 --> 00:03:16,424
No, I'm not mad at you.

96
00:03:17,694 --> 00:03:20,061
- Are you mad at me?
- No, I'm not.

97
00:03:22,326 --> 00:03:23,963
- Confused but I'm not mad.
- Are you mad at me?

98
00:03:23,988 --> 00:03:25,235
No, I'm not mad. It...

99
00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:26,534
Everything's fine.

100
00:03:26,536 --> 00:03:27,969
- Are you enjoying your meal?
- Yes!

101
00:03:27,971 --> 00:03:29,780
I am enjoying the meal. It's the best

102
00:03:29,805 --> 00:03:31,139
- Valentine's Day ever. So I'm gonna
- Good.

103
00:03:31,141 --> 00:03:32,674
really need you to focus, you know,

104
00:03:32,699 --> 00:03:34,285
and-and just keep it up.

105
00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:36,744
Isn't that what I
should be saying to you?

106
00:03:36,746 --> 00:03:39,480
- Huh?
- Um... no.

107
00:03:39,951 --> 00:03:40,982
- Huh?
- No.

108
00:03:40,984 --> 00:03:42,850
- 'Sup, 'sup, 'sup, 'sup, 'sup?
- Thank God.

109
00:03:42,852 --> 00:03:44,832
Hi. And then I arrived.

110
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:47,784
- Oh, here, have a meat.
- Oh, my God. Wow.

111
00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:52,093
Is that my medical I.D. bracelet?

112
00:03:52,095 --> 00:03:54,490
I don't know. Maybe it is.
Did I find it in the bathroom

113
00:03:54,515 --> 00:03:55,866
and think it was cool and put it on?

114
00:03:55,891 --> 00:03:57,064
Maybe. Maybe not.

115
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:03,304
So, on a, on a scale of one to ten,

116
00:04:03,306 --> 00:04:07,642
how certain are you that
she has no criminal record?

117
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:10,842
Let's just keep an open mind.

118
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:12,157
- Yeah? Okay.
- Right? Okay?

119
00:04:12,182 --> 00:04:14,782
In the meantime though,
I am definitely going

120
00:04:14,784 --> 00:04:16,517
to go do a quick inventory

121
00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:19,407
of all of my priceless
Star Wars figurines.

122
00:04:19,432 --> 00:04:20,795
What?

123
00:04:21,346 --> 00:04:23,297
Uh, Allie, could I just talk to you

124
00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:24,759
for just a-a hot minute?

125
00:04:24,761 --> 00:04:26,812
Thank you so much.

126
00:04:26,837 --> 00:04:30,141
So, this, first of all, looks A-plus.

127
00:04:30,166 --> 00:04:31,937
But, you know, I don't
want to eat too much,

128
00:04:31,962 --> 00:04:34,569
just 'cause I have to
slip into lingerie later.

129
00:04:34,571 --> 00:04:36,181
And so I was thinking I could just

130
00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:37,571
put you in a cab, send you home.

131
00:04:37,596 --> 00:04:38,940
You can have a nice night.

132
00:04:38,942 --> 00:04:41,742
Oh... I get it. I know
what you're thinking.

133
00:04:41,744 --> 00:04:45,213
That you smell like,
literally, all of my perfumes.

134
00:04:45,215 --> 00:04:48,355
That your man's gonna
slip out of your fingertips

135
00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:49,417
and into mine.

136
00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:50,751
But don't worry.

137
00:04:50,753 --> 00:04:53,988
These goods aren't on the menu.

138
00:04:59,963 --> 00:05:02,997
Hey. What's g... oh,
no. Is the food not good?

139
00:05:02,999 --> 00:05:06,400
No, no, the food is delicious.
It's just Allie is wasted.

140
00:05:06,402 --> 00:05:10,472
Oh, shoot. She was in such
a good place six months ago.

141
00:05:10,497 --> 00:05:11,906
She had just gotten out of rehab...

142
00:05:11,908 --> 00:05:13,641
- Wait, she was in rehab?
- Yeah.

143
00:05:13,643 --> 00:05:15,103
Her husband left her at a truck stop,

144
00:05:15,128 --> 00:05:16,344
where she became a prostitute.

145
00:05:16,346 --> 00:05:18,379
You know, she's had some problems. Hey,

146
00:05:18,381 --> 00:05:22,158
will you call me if Allie starts
snorting the baking powder?

147
00:05:22,183 --> 00:05:24,316
Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

148
00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:27,421
Okay, well,

149
00:05:27,423 --> 00:05:30,291
looks like we're just
gonna jump ahead to dessert.

150
00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:32,682
I'm predicting that's gonna
be our salt and pepper shakers

151
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,295
dipped in chocolate.

152
00:05:34,297 --> 00:05:37,038
I am so sorry.

153
00:05:37,063 --> 00:05:38,399
All right? All I wanted

154
00:05:38,401 --> 00:05:41,068
was just one good Valentine's Day.

155
00:05:41,390 --> 00:05:43,612
And we had one.

156
00:05:43,637 --> 00:05:44,772
It was perfect.

157
00:05:44,774 --> 00:05:45,491
Honestly,

158
00:05:45,516 --> 00:05:47,341
all of our Valentine's
have been perfect.

159
00:05:47,343 --> 00:05:49,677
I mean, they've been total disasters,

160
00:05:49,679 --> 00:05:50,503
but they've been

161
00:05:50,528 --> 00:05:52,290
our disasters.

162
00:05:52,315 --> 00:05:54,549
And I wouldn't have 'em any other way.

163
00:05:54,848 --> 00:05:56,183
Me neither.

164
00:05:59,529 --> 00:06:01,942
Oh, my God. Oh.

165
00:06:07,858 --> 00:06:09,822
Would either of you like dessert?

166
00:06:12,695 --> 00:06:14,336
_

167
00:06:15,014 --> 00:06:18,029
Look at this sweet three-legged girl.

168
00:06:18,054 --> 00:06:19,941
Uh, I think that means something else.

169
00:06:19,943 --> 00:06:22,176
And, also, that's a boy.

170
00:06:22,178 --> 00:06:25,299
- Look how sweet he is.
- Yeah.

171
00:06:25,324 --> 00:06:28,449
His bandana says "Soulmate."
Maybe we should adopt him.

172
00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:30,259
Well, Princess does need a new friend.

173
00:06:30,284 --> 00:06:31,898
He's humped his stuffed bear so much

174
00:06:31,923 --> 00:06:33,148
it's become a finger puppet.

175
00:06:33,173 --> 00:06:33,828
This would be

176
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,675
- our first big purchase as a couple.
- Mm.

177
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,058
And it's free, which is even better.

178
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,577
- Yeah.
- Well, the bandana's five dollars.

179
00:06:39,602 --> 00:06:41,195
But we don't want to spoil him.

180
00:06:42,177 --> 00:06:43,731
Are we gonna do this?

181
00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:47,076
We'll take him.

182
00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:50,837
This totally replaces the
memory of my dad leaving us

183
00:06:50,862 --> 00:06:52,570
- on Valentine's Day.
- Oh.

184
00:06:52,595 --> 00:06:53,997
No pressure.

185
00:06:55,709 --> 00:06:58,012
Thank you for starting
the adoption journey.

186
00:06:58,014 --> 00:06:59,140
Yeah.

187
00:06:59,165 --> 00:07:00,453
It's a four-week process

188
00:07:00,478 --> 00:07:02,283
with several in-home visits.

189
00:07:02,285 --> 00:07:04,051
Shall we em-bark?

190
00:07:05,722 --> 00:07:07,932
It's okay to laugh.

191
00:07:07,957 --> 00:07:08,910
At...?

192
00:07:08,935 --> 00:07:11,903
All right, so this is a release
so we can run your credit.

193
00:07:11,928 --> 00:07:14,362
Oh, uh, we're not getting the bandana.

194
00:07:14,364 --> 00:07:17,164
I know. But we need to know if
you can financially support him

195
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:19,073
and give him everything he deserves.

196
00:07:19,268 --> 00:07:21,517
Okay. But, you know, just to be clear:

197
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,238
he has three legs, and if he
doesn't get adopted, he dies.

198
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,900
Well, some fates are worse than death.

199
00:07:25,925 --> 00:07:27,265
Are they? Because, uh...

200
00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:28,898
You know, we'll do whatever it takes.

201
00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:30,911
You are gonna be part of our family.

202
00:07:30,913 --> 00:07:32,413
- Yeah.
- We'll see.

203
00:07:32,415 --> 00:07:33,581
And until it's official,

204
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:36,117
can you please communicate
with the dog through me?

205
00:07:37,946 --> 00:07:38,753
Okay.

206
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,688
Was that to me or the dog?

207
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:43,090
'Cause you had one eye that went.

208
00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:44,892
- I know. I have a lazy eye.
- Oh, that's just... she has a lazy eye.

209
00:07:44,894 --> 00:07:46,861
I have to write this down.

210
00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:51,376
And Princess sleeps in the bed with us.

211
00:07:51,401 --> 00:07:53,134
Well, we sleep in Princess's bed.

212
00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:56,003
I don't even need an alarm clock.

213
00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:58,105
I've got Princess's tongue.

214
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,876
But we don't make love with
the dog in the room. Obviously.

215
00:08:02,901 --> 00:08:03,853
We don't think that's appropriate.

216
00:08:03,878 --> 00:08:05,179
No, no.

217
00:08:05,181 --> 00:08:06,847
- Our toilet water's filtered.
- Oh, yeah.

218
00:08:06,849 --> 00:08:08,315
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.

219
00:08:08,317 --> 00:08:09,722
And we have great schools
in this neighborhood.

220
00:08:09,746 --> 00:08:10,659
Mm-hmm.

221
00:08:11,644 --> 00:08:13,243
Also, we have had sex
in front of Princess.

222
00:08:13,268 --> 00:08:14,255
I don't know why I said that.

223
00:08:14,257 --> 00:08:15,589
I don't want to start out with a lie.

224
00:08:15,591 --> 00:08:17,558
Well, you have a lovely home.

225
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:18,235
Oh, thank you.

226
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:19,994
But I'm afraid it's a no.

227
00:08:19,996 --> 00:08:21,802
Why? Is this because
I lied? Matt lied, too.

228
00:08:21,827 --> 00:08:23,564
He definitely has an alarm clock.

229
00:08:23,566 --> 00:08:25,332
I don't think you're
gonna make it as a couple.

230
00:08:25,334 --> 00:08:26,901
You know? It's just a gut feeling.

231
00:08:26,903 --> 00:08:29,036
I'm very good at judging relationships.

232
00:08:29,038 --> 00:08:29,898
Except my own.

233
00:08:29,923 --> 00:08:31,706
'Cause my life is a disaster.

234
00:08:31,708 --> 00:08:33,040
Anyway, it was

235
00:08:33,042 --> 00:08:35,369
really nice to meet you guys.

236
00:08:36,937 --> 00:08:38,112
Are you really sure you want to do this?

237
00:08:38,114 --> 00:08:39,413
We could just adopt a different dog.

238
00:08:39,415 --> 00:08:40,726
It's not just about the dog.

239
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:43,150
It's about someone questioning
the strength of our love.

240
00:08:43,152 --> 00:08:44,452
Right. Right.

241
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,437
Excuse me.

242
00:08:46,462 --> 00:08:47,455
Okay.

243
00:08:47,857 --> 00:08:48,823
That's a good guy.

244
00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:51,110
- Whoa!
- Oh.

245
00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:52,976
Hey. Got a little, uh...

246
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,047
- I got a what?
- Gee, you got a little

247
00:08:55,072 --> 00:08:56,197
- bite there?
- Little...

248
00:08:56,199 --> 00:08:57,909
- Like a...
- Yes, ferret.

249
00:08:58,352 --> 00:09:00,365
Okay. Well, you might remember us.

250
00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:02,066
We are the people that you
thought weren't good enough

251
00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:03,637
for one of your almost dead dogs.

252
00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:05,406
And we're back, because
we don't give up.

253
00:09:05,408 --> 00:09:07,468
No. And also because we
can't afford a purebred.

254
00:09:07,493 --> 00:09:08,663
But also mostly

255
00:09:08,687 --> 00:09:09,945
- because we don't give up.
- Mm-hmm.

256
00:09:09,946 --> 00:09:10,735
And we thought about

257
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:11,981
- giving up for a couple days.
- Oh!

258
00:09:11,982 --> 00:09:14,351
Yeah, after you left, we
thought, "What's wrong with us"

259
00:09:14,376 --> 00:09:15,895
And then we started
listing each other's faults,

260
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,446
which really got ugly.

261
00:09:17,471 --> 00:09:18,730
So dark.

262
00:09:18,755 --> 00:09:20,521
But after yesterday, we
got back together again.

263
00:09:20,523 --> 00:09:22,019
- Oh.
- And we realized

264
00:09:22,043 --> 00:09:23,013
that we are meant to be together

265
00:09:23,014 --> 00:09:25,025
and we are meant to have this
dog, and if you can't see that,

266
00:09:25,027 --> 00:09:27,221
then maybe, maybe this
dog just, I don't know,

267
00:09:27,246 --> 00:09:29,630
- isn't even worth it!
- Oh. Got away from you there at the end.

268
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,198
- She knows what I'm saying.
- Okay.

269
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,520
I do. And that's exactly
the fighting spirit

270
00:09:33,545 --> 00:09:34,610
I was hoping for.

271
00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:35,812
- Oh.
- Let's reopen the file.

272
00:09:35,837 --> 00:09:36,726
- Oh, thank you!
- Okay.

273
00:09:36,751 --> 00:09:37,805
Okay. Sit.

274
00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:39,006
- Okay.
- Okay.

275
00:09:39,008 --> 00:09:40,207
Here we go.

276
00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:42,753
Over here. Sit over here.

277
00:09:42,778 --> 00:09:44,311
- Come.
- Oh.

278
00:09:45,812 --> 00:09:47,047
This dog...

279
00:09:47,455 --> 00:09:49,116
is a symbol of our love.

280
00:09:49,118 --> 00:09:50,684
We're stronger when we're challenged.

281
00:09:50,686 --> 00:09:53,053
- We are. This is gonna happen in life.
- Mm-hmm. Mm.

282
00:09:53,055 --> 00:09:56,070
People are gonna front, and
we're gonna step to it! What?!

283
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:59,093
Okay. Okay. Mmm. Maybe we don't
do that in front of the dog,

284
00:09:59,118 --> 00:10:00,060
'cause you know you're gonna scare him.

285
00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:01,762
- Mm-hmm.
- Right? But you're right.

286
00:10:01,764 --> 00:10:03,324
- Buttons is very lucky to have us.
- Yes.

287
00:10:03,349 --> 00:10:05,950
Right? Isn't that right, Buttons?

288
00:10:07,436 --> 00:10:08,636
Buttons?

289
00:10:08,895 --> 00:10:10,738
- Oh, Buttons.
- You scared him.

290
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,173
His name is Buttons, right?

291
00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:13,474
- I think so.
- Buttons?

292
00:10:13,693 --> 00:10:15,009
- Buttons?
- Buttons?

293
00:10:15,011 --> 00:10:17,274
- Buttons?
- Buttons? Come on, boy!

294
00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:18,612
I can't believe we let this happen.

295
00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:20,381
I know. We have to find him.

296
00:10:20,383 --> 00:10:22,263
I miss his little black fur.

297
00:10:22,326 --> 00:10:24,263
He's brown. I think.

298
00:10:24,264 --> 00:10:25,855
Well, I didn't get a good look.

299
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,454
I love him so much!

300
00:10:27,456 --> 00:10:29,390
- Buttons?
- Buttons?

301
00:10:29,392 --> 00:10:31,492
Oh.

302
00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:33,294
- Hello?
- Mr. Short.

303
00:10:33,296 --> 00:10:36,063
Ruth Puxtus-Silverstein
from the adoption fair.

304
00:10:36,065 --> 00:10:38,032
Oh, hi, Ruth!

305
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,347
Hi. I'm just doing my
doggie due diligence

306
00:10:40,372 --> 00:10:41,335
and checking in.

307
00:10:41,337 --> 00:10:42,770
How's it going with Buttons?

308
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,605
- Oh, it's so great! We love him!
- Yeah!

309
00:10:44,607 --> 00:10:47,476
He is just the cutest
little-to-medium-sized thing.

310
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:48,645
Oh, look how cute he is

311
00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:49,751
- when he does that little thing.
- Oh, y-yes!

312
00:10:49,752 --> 00:10:51,178
- Oh, yes, he does.
- Yes, he does. Yeah.

313
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:53,512
This is so surprising.

314
00:10:53,537 --> 00:10:55,801
Because he's sitting
right here next to me.

315
00:10:56,043 --> 00:10:56,750
Yeah.

316
00:10:56,752 --> 00:10:58,819
Little guy ran across
an eight-lane freeway

317
00:10:58,821 --> 00:11:00,421
to find his way back here.

318
00:11:00,716 --> 00:11:02,474
Then-then which Buttons is this?

319
00:11:02,499 --> 00:11:04,258
Get out of here, you filthy animal!

320
00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,960
- Sorry. You know what?
- Sorry. We're...

321
00:11:05,962 --> 00:11:07,194
We'll come right down. coming. Uh-huh.

322
00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:08,796
We'll straighten all of this out.

323
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,364
No. Stay.

324
00:11:10,366 --> 00:11:12,132
Stay.

325
00:11:15,071 --> 00:11:16,604
What if Ruth is right?

326
00:11:16,606 --> 00:11:18,038
What if there's some weakness in us

327
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,474
that only she and dogs can sense?

328
00:11:20,476 --> 00:11:22,476
There's not! We made a mistake.

329
00:11:22,478 --> 00:11:24,345
You know? And whenever we make them,

330
00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:26,607
we learn from them and we grow stronger

331
00:11:26,632 --> 00:11:27,581
- and we get better.
- Yes.

332
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:28,983
We're like a super germ.

333
00:11:28,985 --> 00:11:31,296
- You are so romantic.
- I know.

334
00:11:31,321 --> 00:11:33,687
Mmm.

335
00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:35,565
You're right. What does
that dog lady know anyway?

336
00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:37,457
- I mean, Princess loves us.
- Yeah.

337
00:11:37,482 --> 00:11:38,918
Right, Princess?

338
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,561
Where's Princess?

339
00:11:41,297 --> 00:11:42,891
- Oh, come on!
- Princess?

340
00:11:42,916 --> 00:11:43,864
Princess?

341
00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:46,750
Maybe we're cat people.

342
00:11:48,304 --> 00:11:49,536
Uh-oh, what's that?

343
00:11:49,538 --> 00:11:51,705
It's your Valentine's present.

344
00:11:51,707 --> 00:11:53,707
That's my tattoo from last year.

345
00:11:53,709 --> 00:11:54,975
No, I added another heart.

346
00:11:54,977 --> 00:11:57,635
- Mm. What is that, my lipstick?
- Don't smudge it!

347
00:11:58,095 --> 00:11:59,979
_

348
00:12:00,278 --> 00:12:02,178
Mom! Dad!

349
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,980
I'm finally a woman!

350
00:12:03,982 --> 00:12:05,915
Guess what I got today.

351
00:12:05,917 --> 00:12:07,050
Already?

352
00:12:07,052 --> 00:12:07,951
Oh, no.

353
00:12:07,953 --> 00:12:09,945
It's the hormones in the chicken.

354
00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,323
A boyfriend!

355
00:12:12,206 --> 00:12:13,328
You got a boyfriend?

356
00:12:13,353 --> 00:12:14,636
Well, what is his name?

357
00:12:14,638 --> 00:12:16,715
Pete. His last name doesn't matter,

358
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:18,439
'cause I'm not taking it anyway.

359
00:12:18,441 --> 00:12:20,286
- Mm, yeah.
- Look what he got me

360
00:12:20,311 --> 00:12:21,709
for Valentine's Day.

361
00:12:21,711 --> 00:12:22,710
Oh, wow.

362
00:12:22,712 --> 00:12:24,012
Wow, wow, wow.

363
00:12:24,014 --> 00:12:26,281
He liked it, so he put
a necklace on it, huh?

364
00:12:26,283 --> 00:12:28,116
We're not doing gifts here, are we?

365
00:12:28,118 --> 00:12:29,701
Is Pete as funny as your daddy?

366
00:12:29,726 --> 00:12:31,729
'Cause your daddy is pretty funny.

367
00:12:32,649 --> 00:12:35,056
I feel like Anne Hathaway.

368
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,327
Hello?

369
00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:40,528
Oh, hi.

370
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:42,630
Hi. It's Pete's mom.

371
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,800
Are you calling to plan the wedding?

372
00:12:46,318 --> 00:12:47,535
Okay, while your mom's on the phone,

373
00:12:47,537 --> 00:12:49,237
let's quickly pull together
a little dance routine

374
00:12:49,239 --> 00:12:50,738
and convince her that it's her present.

375
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,706
You're on your own. I'm still at the age

376
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,642
I can make a card and she starts crying.

377
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:56,174
So...

378
00:12:56,292 --> 00:12:58,371
Pete took that necklace he gave Sophia

379
00:12:58,396 --> 00:13:00,135
from his mom's jewelry box

380
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,460
without asking.

381
00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:04,786
And... it's real diamonds.

382
00:13:04,788 --> 00:13:07,422
My first boyfriend and he's rich?

383
00:13:07,424 --> 00:13:09,741
Maybe I will take his last name.

384
00:13:09,766 --> 00:13:11,774
Okay, sweetie, well, she's
gonna come over tomorrow

385
00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:14,195
and pick it up, so why don't
you run upstairs and get it.

386
00:13:14,197 --> 00:13:16,130
Wait. I have to give it back?

387
00:13:16,132 --> 00:13:17,425
Yeah, but don't worry,
we'll get you something

388
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:18,816
out of the claw machine.

389
00:13:19,585 --> 00:13:20,401
Both of you.

390
00:13:20,403 --> 00:13:21,436
Mm...

391
00:13:22,351 --> 00:13:23,538
I lost it.

392
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,373
You lost the necklace?

393
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:26,975
Since this afternoon?

394
00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:29,811
You're positive that you lost it?

395
00:13:29,813 --> 00:13:31,379
I looked everywhere.

396
00:13:31,381 --> 00:13:32,687
No necklace.

397
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,615
It's like it just disappeared.

398
00:13:34,617 --> 00:13:37,585
I don't think we can
rule out a black hole.

399
00:13:37,587 --> 00:13:39,700
Boy, you don't need me
adding to your chaos.

400
00:13:39,725 --> 00:13:41,388
Can I go night swimming at Carly's house

401
00:13:41,413 --> 00:13:42,640
and boys are going to be there?

402
00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:44,262
Yeah, honey, wh-whatever.

403
00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:45,693
Listen, Sophia,

404
00:13:45,695 --> 00:13:47,785
if you look me in the
eye and you tell me

405
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:50,679
that you lost this necklace,
okay, I-I'm gonna believe you,

406
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:54,854
because in this family,
we value honesty.

407
00:13:54,879 --> 00:13:55,971
That's right.

408
00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:58,839
Even more than material things.

409
00:13:58,864 --> 00:14:00,241
Yeah...

410
00:14:01,344 --> 00:14:04,312
I lost the necklace.

411
00:14:05,915 --> 00:14:07,582
Thank you.

412
00:14:08,451 --> 00:14:10,918
Wait, so she lost it in one day?

413
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,554
I know, I know, I know. I-I'm so sorry.

414
00:14:13,556 --> 00:14:16,224
I mean, we tore the entire house apart.

415
00:14:16,226 --> 00:14:17,785
If I find it,

416
00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:19,761
obviously, I'll call you.

417
00:14:19,763 --> 00:14:21,262
Yeah, I'm not buying it.

418
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:23,698
Y-You don't believe me?

419
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:25,133
Oh, no, I believe you.

420
00:14:25,135 --> 00:14:28,401
Listen, if Sophia says she lost it,

421
00:14:28,426 --> 00:14:30,113
then she lost it, okay?

422
00:14:30,138 --> 00:14:31,773
I trust my daughter.

423
00:14:31,775 --> 00:14:33,480
Yeah, but all kids are liars.

424
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:35,443
Oh, wow.

425
00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:36,787
Okay, you know what?

426
00:14:36,812 --> 00:14:38,346
I guess that I'm blessed.

427
00:14:38,348 --> 00:14:40,117
My family is built

428
00:14:40,142 --> 00:14:42,650
on trust and honesty,

429
00:14:42,652 --> 00:14:45,620
and I'm sorry if yours
isn't, but the day

430
00:14:45,622 --> 00:14:47,088
that I don't believe my daughter

431
00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,290
is the day that we stop being a family.

432
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:57,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

433
00:15:01,329 --> 00:15:04,016
I killed our family.

434
00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:06,074
- It's happening!
- What?

435
00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:07,679
What, what?!

436
00:15:07,704 --> 00:15:09,444
Oh, sweetie, what's the matter?

437
00:15:09,446 --> 00:15:12,513
I hid the necklace so I could keep it.

438
00:15:12,515 --> 00:15:15,516
Now we have to stop being a family.

439
00:15:15,518 --> 00:15:16,517
What?

440
00:15:16,519 --> 00:15:18,123
I'm a monster.

441
00:15:18,655 --> 00:15:20,354
Just like Anne Hathaway.

442
00:15:20,356 --> 00:15:23,124
Oh, honey, no. But why did you lie?

443
00:15:23,126 --> 00:15:24,982
It was the first romantic present

444
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,474
a boy has ever gotten me.

445
00:15:28,139 --> 00:15:30,373
Here, take it.

446
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:34,335
But maybe put something
like it on my birthday list.

447
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,102
I understand. I mean,
I get this completely.

448
00:15:38,281 --> 00:15:41,642
You know, presents make us feel loved

449
00:15:41,969 --> 00:15:43,678
and appreciated.

450
00:15:44,239 --> 00:15:45,546
But that doesn't make this right,

451
00:15:45,548 --> 00:15:46,641
and you have to return it.

452
00:15:46,666 --> 00:15:49,033
And you're gonna have
to explain that you lied.

453
00:15:49,326 --> 00:15:51,044
I hate life lessons.

454
00:15:51,069 --> 00:15:53,488
Hey, we all make mistakes.

455
00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:58,092
And that is the true
meaning of Valentine's Day.

456
00:15:58,094 --> 00:16:00,344
Oh, this is the worst. This is gonna be

457
00:16:00,369 --> 00:16:02,830
more embarrassing than that
time I drank too much kombucha

458
00:16:02,832 --> 00:16:05,032
and I shoplifted from the grocery store.

459
00:16:08,714 --> 00:16:10,081
Coming.

460
00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:12,767
I think Sophia's probably
learned her lesson.

461
00:16:12,792 --> 00:16:13,509
Yeah, I think so, too.

462
00:16:13,533 --> 00:16:14,892
- You know what, let's go. Let's go.
- Go!

463
00:16:14,917 --> 00:16:18,019
- Oh!
- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

464
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,561
Valentine's Day is a
therapist's busiest day.

465
00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:23,351
Just like tax day is for accountants,

466
00:16:23,353 --> 00:16:26,175
or the Fourth of July
is for finger surgeons.

467
00:16:27,579 --> 00:16:28,148
_

468
00:16:29,773 --> 00:16:31,799
I don't know why we're
having a picnic here,

469
00:16:31,831 --> 00:16:34,135
but I love you, and
that's all that matters.

470
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,367
Oh, no, no, no, no, Joanie.

471
00:16:36,369 --> 00:16:38,635
I want you to see something.

472
00:16:38,637 --> 00:16:39,867
Ta-da.

473
00:16:40,673 --> 00:16:42,840
Just like our old one.

474
00:16:42,842 --> 00:16:46,443
Oh, I've missed this car!

475
00:16:46,445 --> 00:16:49,563
I regret ever having to sell
it when Heather was born,

476
00:16:49,588 --> 00:16:51,615
but, you know,

477
00:16:51,617 --> 00:16:53,384
kids are about sacrifice

478
00:16:53,386 --> 00:16:56,253
and giving up everything
that's important to you.

479
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,683
Happy Valentine's Day.

480
00:16:59,749 --> 00:17:00,785
You bought it?

481
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,154
I'm about to. And then we're
gonna drive up the coast

482
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,856
in this baby and have a romantic picnic

483
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,326
and make love in the backseat.

484
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,474
Listen, you, making love in the backseat

485
00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:13,164
was what led to us having
to get rid of this car

486
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,822
in the first place.

487
00:17:15,342 --> 00:17:18,249
Oh, yeah, well, we can
decide where to do it later.

488
00:17:18,274 --> 00:17:21,372
Now watch me unleash my
negotiating magic, huh?

489
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,208
That's not a patient, is it?

490
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,576
Yes.

491
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,244
But Shelly's gonna be fine.

492
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,347
You're going to be fine.

493
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,415
Can I help you folks
find something today?

494
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:34,585
Well, I'll tell you what
you can't help me find is

495
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,786
this car here.

496
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,455
I'm not interested in this one.

497
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:38,435
John.

498
00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:39,824
No. Now, honey,

499
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,525
let the professionals handle this, huh?

500
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,693
That car there

501
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,528
is actually not for sale.

502
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,943
Oh. Yeah. Sure, dude.

503
00:17:46,968 --> 00:17:49,000
This guy's come here to play today.

504
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:51,466
Mm, nope. No games. Just not for sale.

505
00:17:51,491 --> 00:17:53,471
Is there another car
you're interested in?

506
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,439
Well, I'm interested in everything.

507
00:17:55,761 --> 00:17:56,941
But not this one.

508
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,388
Oh, it's Shelly again.

509
00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:01,345
She-she must really be struggling.

510
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,854
Let me just explain to her
that we're impulse-buying

511
00:18:03,879 --> 00:18:06,213
our third car; she'll understand.

512
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,386
What about this one?

513
00:18:08,844 --> 00:18:10,621
Yeah, this one's nice.

514
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,924
Nicer than that one over
there that's not for sale.

515
00:18:14,149 --> 00:18:16,360
Yeah, I'm just not so
sure about the price.

516
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,175
Now, if that other car
over there was for sale,

517
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,798
how much would that be?

518
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,239
That car's not for sale.

519
00:18:22,264 --> 00:18:23,868
I'll give you $22,000.

520
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,269
- Okay.
- Really?

521
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,004
No. It's not for sale.

522
00:18:31,383 --> 00:18:32,543
This guy's good, Joanie.

523
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,712
He keeps saying it's not for sale.

524
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,581
But m-maybe it's not for sale.

525
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,251
Whoa, it's a good thing
I'm doing this and not you.

526
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,053
He'd eat you alive.

527
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:43,554
So, you seem to really like

528
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,923
the Aston Martin; why
don't we step into my office

529
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,386
and run the numbers.

530
00:18:47,411 --> 00:18:49,275
Yeah, sure. Why don't we?

531
00:18:49,526 --> 00:18:51,672
- You guys want some coffee?
- Sure.

532
00:18:51,999 --> 00:18:54,098
Yeah, now we're making money.

533
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,477
I-I don't really want any coffee.

534
00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:57,701
That's part of the game.

535
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,137
Just get it and throw it in the trash.

536
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,607
So, your paperwork is done.

537
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:06,131
I just need your signature,

538
00:19:06,156 --> 00:19:08,434
and that red beauty is yours.

539
00:19:08,459 --> 00:19:09,825
So, uh...

540
00:19:10,408 --> 00:19:12,176
I'm just gonna sign here, then, huh?

541
00:19:12,201 --> 00:19:14,107
I'm-I'm really gonna do it.

542
00:19:14,241 --> 00:19:17,021
Here I go. I just licked the pen.

543
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:19,037
Yup, that's what we've
been talking about

544
00:19:19,062 --> 00:19:20,458
for the past hour.

545
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,393
And you can keep that pen.

546
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,694
Up again, honey.

547
00:19:24,064 --> 00:19:24,666
John...

548
00:19:24,691 --> 00:19:27,108
So, I'm really gonna
sign the paperwork, huh?

549
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,466
Whenever you're ready.

550
00:19:33,974 --> 00:19:35,973
Aw... you win.

551
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,141
- Huh?
- All right.

552
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,776
I don't want to buy an Aston Martin.

553
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,100
I want the Chevelle.

554
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:41,264
And I'll pay anything.

555
00:19:41,289 --> 00:19:42,924
I won't let you leave this lot

556
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,648
until I've bought your car.

557
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,886
I don't think that's the
right way to negotiate.

558
00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:48,568
I got this. No. No.

559
00:19:48,593 --> 00:19:50,393
Name your price. I'll double it.

560
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,034
I'll even throw in the two coffees

561
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,099
and this new pen

562
00:19:55,124 --> 00:19:59,214
and this gold stapler
that I-I borrowed.

563
00:19:59,964 --> 00:20:01,699
Maybe he doesn't want to sell the car

564
00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:03,667
because it means something to him.

565
00:20:04,051 --> 00:20:06,137
I don't want to talk about it.

566
00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:09,507
See... there? You were wrong, Joanie.

567
00:20:09,963 --> 00:20:12,244
The car was my ex-wife's.

568
00:20:12,269 --> 00:20:14,512
I should be over her by now,

569
00:20:14,732 --> 00:20:18,033
and I would sell it to
you if I was, but I'm not.

570
00:20:18,769 --> 00:20:19,466
John?

571
00:20:19,491 --> 00:20:21,719
- Hmm?
- Could Gavin and I have a word?

572
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,044
No, he's about to cave.

573
00:20:23,069 --> 00:20:24,788
But... okay.

574
00:20:33,301 --> 00:20:34,967
I'm ready to move on.

575
00:20:34,969 --> 00:20:37,393
I'll give you a great price on the car.

576
00:20:37,418 --> 00:20:40,373
Sounds like you're getting
more than I am out of this deal.

577
00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:43,676
I'm not sure I'm interested
in a "great price."

578
00:20:43,678 --> 00:20:44,842
John.

579
00:20:44,867 --> 00:20:47,668
Uh, leave this to the
professionals, hmm?

580
00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:54,020
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -

581
00:20:55,305 --> 00:21:01,173
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