1 00:00:00,069 --> 00:00:03,569 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:04,703 --> 00:00:06,978 _ 3 00:00:08,946 --> 00:00:10,059 - Hi, come on in. - Hi! 4 00:00:10,065 --> 00:00:11,907 - Yay. - Come on in. 5 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,696 - Thank you so much for watching Lark last minute. - Oh, of course. 6 00:00:14,698 --> 00:00:16,265 I know, Colleen, you had to work today. 7 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,554 And Matt, you had to... 8 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,952 - so, thank you. - Yep. 9 00:00:19,958 --> 00:00:21,987 Yeah, I mean, first interview for preschool. 10 00:00:21,993 --> 00:00:23,126 - Oh, wow. - Oh, hey. 11 00:00:23,132 --> 00:00:24,598 And they place a-a lot of emphasis 12 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,289 on diversity so... 13 00:00:26,295 --> 00:00:28,902 I'm gonna have to do the interview like this. 14 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:29,870 I wouldn't. 15 00:00:29,872 --> 00:00:31,204 - Yeah, what's that? - But no worries. 16 00:00:31,206 --> 00:00:32,947 This is like my dream day off. 17 00:00:32,953 --> 00:00:34,007 I love Lark. 18 00:00:34,009 --> 00:00:37,366 Oh, and she is so crazy about you. 19 00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:38,398 - I mean, she can't stop talking about you. - No. 20 00:00:38,404 --> 00:00:39,560 - Oh. Oh. - You know? 21 00:00:39,566 --> 00:00:40,926 But just be sure when she wakes up 22 00:00:40,932 --> 00:00:42,315 - to reintroduce yourself. - Yeah. 23 00:00:42,317 --> 00:00:43,525 - Okay. - Okay. 24 00:00:43,531 --> 00:00:45,414 And so I left you a schedule 25 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,958 - Uh-huh. - and all of her favorite toys and books, 26 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,007 some of which are in our bathroom. 27 00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:49,457 That's a question for Greg. 28 00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:51,269 - But we really should get... - Okay. 29 00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:53,460 Okay, and, uh, you know, where's her stroller 30 00:00:53,462 --> 00:00:55,862 in case we want to take her outside, a free-range Lark? 31 00:00:56,379 --> 00:00:58,052 - Oh. - You know what, 32 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,591 I think let's make today just, like, an inside day. 33 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:01,859 - Yeah. - Yeah, just 'cause we don't want 34 00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:03,428 to risk her making friends with a new baby 35 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:04,595 'cause then we'd have to be nice to the parents. 36 00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:06,130 - Uh-huh. Got it. - Right. 37 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,319 - Yeah. Very good. - Okay. 38 00:01:07,325 --> 00:01:08,024 Hadn't thought of that. 39 00:01:08,029 --> 00:01:08,937 - Thanks, guys. - Bye, guys. 40 00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,296 - Good luck. - Take care. 41 00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:12,837 Aw, this is fun. 42 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,239 It's like a little window into our future as parents. 43 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,942 You think if we ever have a kid, it's gonna be this cute? 44 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:19,486 Even cuter. 45 00:01:19,492 --> 00:01:21,683 Ours is gonna be one of those multiracial babies... 46 00:01:21,688 --> 00:01:22,127 Yeah. 47 00:01:22,128 --> 00:01:24,264 which are the only kinds they put in commercials these days. 48 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:24,905 Right. 49 00:01:24,911 --> 00:01:26,150 I'm kind of a baby expert 50 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:28,319 'cause, you know, I-I looked after all of Heather's kids, 51 00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,755 and then we had this little baby bird that... 52 00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:32,156 didn't make it. 53 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,455 Well, I'm glad you know what you're doing 54 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,324 'cause I didn't babysit much growing up. 55 00:01:35,465 --> 00:01:36,761 Really? Not even in high school? 56 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,629 Well, I did once, but then I became known as 57 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,465 "the girl who flirted with a dad," 58 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,468 and that kind of killed my career and a marriage. 59 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:49,040 And that's why everyone was very confused 60 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,080 at your mommy and daddy's wedding. 61 00:01:51,393 --> 00:01:53,442 I-I don't get it. She giggled at this thing 62 00:01:53,448 --> 00:01:55,046 for like ten minutes and suddenly she hates it. 63 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,215 And now I'm starting to wonder if it was 64 00:01:56,221 --> 00:01:57,548 ever really all that funny to begin with. 65 00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,892 She's just staring into space. 66 00:01:59,898 --> 00:02:00,885 Is that normal? 67 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,720 I don't know. This is a weird baby, man. 68 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,333 Ooh, I know, we could take her to a pet store, 69 00:02:05,339 --> 00:02:06,958 and let her put her fingers in all the cages. 70 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,093 That's a great idea. We're ready for an outing. 71 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,863 Besides, it'll put some life into this dumb Greg baby. 72 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:12,997 Oh, wait. 73 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:13,904 Jen said we didn't need 74 00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:15,433 to take her anywhere in the stroller. 75 00:02:15,706 --> 00:02:17,835 We're not gonna take a stroller. 76 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,741 Okay, I've got a bottle and snacks and that puppet 77 00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,150 in case it makes a comeback. 78 00:02:25,156 --> 00:02:26,313 You really thought of everything. 79 00:02:26,327 --> 00:02:28,338 Yeah. I think I'm gonna be a really good mom. 80 00:02:28,344 --> 00:02:29,343 I know you are. 81 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,948 Aw. 82 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,155 She's fine. 83 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,293 Oh, I feel terrible. 84 00:02:39,299 --> 00:02:41,462 Sleeping with that dad in high school was a sign 85 00:02:41,468 --> 00:02:43,694 I wasn't meant to take care of kids. 86 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:45,029 You said you just flirted with him. 87 00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:48,199 Huh? Maybe we should call Jen. 88 00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,341 No way. We'll look incompetent. 89 00:02:50,347 --> 00:02:51,669 And then when we have kids of our own, 90 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,037 everyone will be worried that we can't handle it. 91 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,038 Well, maybe we can't. 92 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,574 Oh, we dropped one baby on her face. 93 00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,574 We'll be much more careful with ours. 94 00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:00,845 - Yeah. You're right. - Yeah. 95 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,140 I'm glad we can learn these lessons on someone else's baby. 96 00:03:03,146 --> 00:03:03,814 Totally. 97 00:03:05,908 --> 00:03:06,717 Really? 98 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,019 We drop you on your head, you don't cry. 99 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,043 Now you're crying at this? Greg baby. 100 00:03:10,049 --> 00:03:11,084 Oh, no. 101 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:11,732 What do we do? 102 00:03:11,738 --> 00:03:12,957 Oh, no, no, no. Don't answer. 103 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,425 No, they'll hear in our voice that something is wrong, 104 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,445 and then they'll start to worry, 105 00:03:15,451 --> 00:03:16,894 so just, like, let it ring forever. 106 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,062 - Okay. - Okay. 107 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:21,465 Hi. 108 00:03:23,474 --> 00:03:24,905 I think it totally works. 109 00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:28,335 I can still see it. 110 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,285 Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have been 111 00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:32,076 so quick to dismiss your Blue Man Group idea. 112 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,046 That's the garage. They're home. 113 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,448 Okay, whoa, whoa, stay calm. It's not a big deal. 114 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:38,482 Lark is fine. 115 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:40,218 And maybe 116 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,119 we don't have to explain anything. 117 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:43,424 Okay. You go there. 118 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:44,928 - You stay there, okay? Yeah. - Ready? 119 00:03:46,587 --> 00:03:47,291 Hi. 120 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,960 - Hi. - Oh, no. 121 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,562 No, God, you opened the door into her face. 122 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:52,964 I think that's gonna leave a mark. 123 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,765 Oh, yep, there it is. 124 00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:57,527 Yeah. You do know that we have cameras everywhere 125 00:03:57,533 --> 00:03:59,242 and we watched the whole thing on my phone? 126 00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:00,771 No, we did not know that. 127 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:02,406 Give me my child. 128 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,575 Oh, sweetie, are you okay? 129 00:04:04,657 --> 00:04:05,963 We're really sorry. 130 00:04:05,969 --> 00:04:07,234 And look, she's fine. 131 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,426 Yeah, and sorry about, you know, having sex on your bed. 132 00:04:09,432 --> 00:04:10,209 Yeah. 133 00:04:10,215 --> 00:04:12,145 Well, we don't have cameras in the bedroom. 134 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,618 - Okay. - Oh. 135 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,087 Uh, I was gonna say that I was pretty impressed 136 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,456 with the way you two came together in a crisis. 137 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,852 The first time Lark tripped over 138 00:04:19,858 --> 00:04:21,292 one of my shoes and got a fat lip, 139 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,355 Greg gave me the stink eye and called me a slut. 140 00:04:23,361 --> 00:04:24,231 Huh. 141 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,264 She picks up her shoes now, though. 142 00:04:27,192 --> 00:04:30,011 Look at that. See? We do make a good team. 143 00:04:30,017 --> 00:04:30,814 We do. 144 00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,793 Maybe we're gonna be great parents after all. 145 00:04:32,799 --> 00:04:34,380 Well, you know, you did concuss a baby 146 00:04:34,386 --> 00:04:35,573 and then try to fix it with a makeover, 147 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,241 but I guess everyone's definition 148 00:04:37,247 --> 00:04:38,403 of great is different. 149 00:04:38,409 --> 00:04:39,779 Well, uh, 150 00:04:39,785 --> 00:04:41,251 I'm gonna go clean our sheets. 151 00:04:41,425 --> 00:04:43,347 And also this baby's diaper 152 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:46,050 because didn't catch that on the surveillance. 153 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,351 Okay. 154 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,528 I thought you said you were gonna do that. 155 00:04:48,534 --> 00:04:50,967 - Well, I'll do it if it's our baby. - Yeah. 156 00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:53,069 _ 157 00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:55,715 Oh, man. Look at this. 158 00:04:55,721 --> 00:04:58,232 Yeah, I get it, Marmaduke's a big boy. 159 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,998 No. No. That-That virtual health care company 160 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,135 I wanted to invest in years ago just went public. 161 00:05:04,914 --> 00:05:06,698 If you would have let me invest that money 162 00:05:06,704 --> 00:05:08,572 my parents gave us, we would be rich, 163 00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,777 and not in the stupid way that you're supposed to say 164 00:05:10,783 --> 00:05:14,539 with, like, friends and health, but in the good way, with money. 165 00:05:14,945 --> 00:05:16,147 Virtual health care? 166 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,420 I never told you that you couldn't invest in that. 167 00:05:18,787 --> 00:05:20,451 Yes, you did! 168 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,459 Babe, it was the biggest fight we ever had. 169 00:05:22,465 --> 00:05:24,955 It caused my scalp to reject my new hair plugs. 170 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,191 Babe, biggest fight we ever had 171 00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,824 was how much skill does it take 172 00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:29,827 to become a game show host. 173 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,395 It is very difficult, 174 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,764 but I am talking about a much bigger fight. 175 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,629 We were screaming at each other 176 00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:37,702 in the middle of that Asian fusion restaurant. 177 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,890 You left crying. 178 00:05:38,896 --> 00:05:40,586 And then the delivery guy had to drive me home 179 00:05:40,592 --> 00:05:41,539 on his handlebars. 180 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,056 Oh, was that the place 181 00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:46,164 with the hamburger egg rolls? 182 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,812 - So, you remember the egg rolls... - Yes. 183 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,494 but you don't remember the biggest fight 184 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,781 in the history of our relationship? 185 00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:54,027 Oh, my God. I had a sex dream about those egg rolls. 186 00:05:55,629 --> 00:05:57,296 All right, look, I'm just upset because if your mom 187 00:05:57,302 --> 00:05:59,334 hadn't put the kibosh on my dreams, 188 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:00,529 we'd all be wearing, 189 00:06:00,535 --> 00:06:01,625 you know, name-brand sneakers 190 00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:03,294 instead of these Air Gordons. 191 00:06:03,505 --> 00:06:05,471 Don't you have to wear those because of your corns? 192 00:06:05,477 --> 00:06:06,944 Look, that's not the point. 193 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,705 The point is that I want her to acknowledge 194 00:06:08,711 --> 00:06:11,001 how much money she cost us. You know. 195 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,989 I mean, look, this is the first time I've ever been 196 00:06:12,995 --> 00:06:14,071 proven right in an argument, 197 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:15,099 and now your mother just 198 00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:16,607 conveniently forgets about it? 199 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,020 Dad, this space is too small. 200 00:06:18,026 --> 00:06:19,343 Ah, I never listen to people 201 00:06:19,349 --> 00:06:21,115 who say I can't fit into things. 202 00:06:21,121 --> 00:06:23,687 Well, Clementine and I like to handle our arguments 203 00:06:23,693 --> 00:06:24,789 like mature adults. 204 00:06:24,795 --> 00:06:25,960 That's why we only fight naked. 205 00:06:25,966 --> 00:06:26,784 You should try it. 206 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:28,052 Yeah, it helps remind you 207 00:06:28,058 --> 00:06:29,912 of each other's vulnerabilities, and then the fights 208 00:06:29,918 --> 00:06:30,921 don't last as long. 209 00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:32,890 It's called Let Me Geni-Tell Ya. 210 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,192 No, it's not. It's called Nude Feud. 211 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,128 Um, I think I know what it's called. 212 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,733 My Mom and Uncle Dad invented it. 213 00:06:38,739 --> 00:06:39,631 No, they didn't. 214 00:06:39,637 --> 00:06:40,902 I came up with it when we got 215 00:06:40,908 --> 00:06:43,096 in that argument in the shower about the pee rules. 216 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,644 No, you didn't. Okay, we are settling this right now. 217 00:06:45,650 --> 00:06:47,004 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 218 00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:49,301 Nobody's getting naked in my car unless it's me. 219 00:06:49,307 --> 00:06:51,409 Why should we take advice from you and Mom? 220 00:06:51,415 --> 00:06:54,322 Do you know how traumatizing it is to be a little kid 221 00:06:54,328 --> 00:06:56,046 and go into an Asian Fusion restaurant, 222 00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:58,082 asking for your dad's hair plugs back? 223 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,551 That was genuine Norwegian corpse hair. 224 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,286 I could have replanted that stuff. 225 00:07:02,499 --> 00:07:03,898 And wait a minute. 226 00:07:03,904 --> 00:07:04,801 If you remember that, 227 00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:06,755 that means you remember the argument. 228 00:07:06,848 --> 00:07:08,799 Oh! You got to tell your mom. 229 00:07:08,989 --> 00:07:11,017 Nobody's getting ice cream until you do. 230 00:07:11,023 --> 00:07:12,522 I didn't even want ice cream. 231 00:07:12,528 --> 00:07:13,664 You asked us to come with you 232 00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:15,800 because you were too embarrassed to go alone. 233 00:07:15,806 --> 00:07:17,744 That's because I was here this morning. 234 00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:18,636 All right, let's go. 235 00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,338 And for the record, I fit in the spot. 236 00:07:21,344 --> 00:07:23,443 Yeah, I'd like to see you pull out. 237 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,162 I just want to make sure that everyone has 238 00:07:27,168 --> 00:07:28,979 the same information, so we can all agree 239 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,581 that for once, I was right. 240 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:31,654 Go ahead, Tyler. 241 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,284 So you and Dad came home, and you were 242 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,318 arguing about the investment. 243 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,028 Aha, yes! See? 244 00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:37,496 Now you remember. 245 00:07:37,502 --> 00:07:39,632 Yeah, and then you said that you make the money, 246 00:07:39,638 --> 00:07:41,101 so you get to make the decisions. 247 00:07:41,107 --> 00:07:43,294 Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 248 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,030 That sounds familiar. 249 00:07:45,036 --> 00:07:46,597 - I said that? - Yeah. 250 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,324 And then you said that Mom got to decide 251 00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:49,673 what she packed for my lunch, 252 00:07:49,679 --> 00:07:51,377 and that was enough decision-making for her, so... 253 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:53,003 All right, that'll do, Tyler. 254 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:55,339 Yeah, this is all coming back to me now. 255 00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:56,874 But I didn't even get to the part where you called her... 256 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,322 Hey, who asked you, anyway? 257 00:07:58,328 --> 00:07:59,294 Right? 258 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,955 I'm gonna go get you 259 00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:03,547 a diamond bracelet out of my apology drawer. 260 00:08:03,798 --> 00:08:04,992 Wait, so... 261 00:08:05,134 --> 00:08:06,283 now you don't want to talk about it, 262 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:09,019 now that I actually remember the fight? 263 00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,554 Well, there's no need to. 264 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,720 Everybody's memories are sufficiently refreshed, 265 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,732 and apologies accepted. 266 00:08:15,738 --> 00:08:16,994 Hey, I bet we're all starving. 267 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,195 What are you making for... 268 00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:22,212 For what, Tim? What am I making for what? 269 00:08:23,087 --> 00:08:26,070 For reservations for yourself 270 00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:28,064 - for the spa for tomorrow. - Oh, yeah. 271 00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:29,617 That is happening. 272 00:08:29,623 --> 00:08:31,583 But let's get back to this, about how you 273 00:08:31,589 --> 00:08:33,277 went out of your way to demean me 274 00:08:33,427 --> 00:08:36,354 as a wife, a mother, and a woman. 275 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,682 And hey, just so you know, guy, 276 00:08:37,688 --> 00:08:39,283 we can talk about this all night long, 277 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:42,620 because tomorrow's lunches are already packed. 278 00:08:42,942 --> 00:08:44,614 You two are gonna want to leave. 279 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,625 Wait, so your mom is not making dinner? 280 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,327 Oh, no, he's getting naked. We got to go. 281 00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:51,829 We should not have suggested this 282 00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,491 - to anyone over the age of 20. - Okay... 283 00:08:54,497 --> 00:08:56,011 If you're gonna do that thing that you talk to me 284 00:08:56,017 --> 00:08:57,968 with your belly button, I'm not in the mood. 285 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,103 If this is gonna be a big fight, 286 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,170 we have to do it naked... 287 00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:01,939 apparently that helps. 288 00:09:02,555 --> 00:09:03,477 Okay. 289 00:09:03,621 --> 00:09:05,982 You know what? I can fight with you naked 290 00:09:06,537 --> 00:09:08,834 just as well as I can with my clothes on. 291 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,201 In fact, naked... 292 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,083 I got a lot more ammo. 293 00:09:15,353 --> 00:09:16,819 Full Monty. 294 00:09:20,134 --> 00:09:21,525 Okay, this works. 295 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,627 - Yeah. - I feel more vulnerable. 296 00:09:25,967 --> 00:09:28,268 It's hard to... it's hard... 297 00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:30,401 - I... - I don't know if I'd say that. 298 00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:32,109 It's getting there, though. 299 00:09:32,115 --> 00:09:33,880 Oh. 300 00:09:34,521 --> 00:09:35,773 Oh, what were you talking about? 301 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,347 I was saying it's hard to be mad at you. 302 00:09:37,353 --> 00:09:38,619 - Oh. - But it's, yeah... 303 00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:40,625 Don't make me laugh, it bounces. 304 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:46,383 That was good. That was really good. 305 00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:49,987 Hey, I'm sorry about all the money that I lost us. 306 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,619 Oh, it's okay. 307 00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:54,533 I'm sorry, too, 308 00:09:54,539 --> 00:09:56,833 that I demeaned you as a wife 309 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:57,986 and a mother. 310 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,319 I love it. I don't know why I said 311 00:10:03,325 --> 00:10:04,553 that I wasn't in the mood. 312 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,393 - I'm always in the mood for that. - Mm. 313 00:10:09,386 --> 00:10:11,719 I wish you would have proposed to me like that. 314 00:10:13,849 --> 00:10:15,582 I mean, how many other kids you know that's got 315 00:10:15,588 --> 00:10:17,810 a real professional inventor in their family? 316 00:10:17,872 --> 00:10:21,074 - Actually, Kyle Edison's great, great... - Yeah, whatever. 317 00:10:23,216 --> 00:10:25,155 _ 318 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,416 Welcome to the Dream Lab. 319 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,151 So tell me about your project. 320 00:10:29,153 --> 00:10:30,665 I have to come up with an idea, 321 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:33,166 build a prototype, and then develop a business plan. 322 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,382 It's so stupid. 323 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,750 If I actually had any good ideas, 324 00:10:35,752 --> 00:10:37,385 then I would already be an inventor. 325 00:10:38,058 --> 00:10:38,886 Well, it's a good thing 326 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,722 little Ricky Hammock didn't say that. 327 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,457 Although he would have been so much more productive 328 00:10:42,459 --> 00:10:44,993 if his first invention wasn't a hammock. 329 00:10:46,745 --> 00:10:48,696 Excuse me. 330 00:10:48,698 --> 00:10:50,488 I had those when I was little. 331 00:10:50,809 --> 00:10:52,300 And that's precisely the problem. 332 00:10:52,302 --> 00:10:53,826 See, it's not just little kids 333 00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:55,393 that need to get to places in a hurry. 334 00:10:55,399 --> 00:10:57,599 It's also big, important people, such as myself. 335 00:10:57,605 --> 00:10:59,540 Well, they do make you look taller. 336 00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:01,542 I'd do anything for that. 337 00:11:01,544 --> 00:11:03,144 Why don't you just wear heels? 338 00:11:03,146 --> 00:11:04,545 My mom won't let me. 339 00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:07,001 If only they made shoes with retractable heels, 340 00:11:07,007 --> 00:11:08,282 then I could leave the house in flats, 341 00:11:08,284 --> 00:11:10,314 then switch to heels when I got to school. 342 00:11:10,564 --> 00:11:11,519 Bingo. 343 00:11:11,521 --> 00:11:12,854 Sam, it's brilliant. 344 00:11:12,856 --> 00:11:14,322 That's your idea. 345 00:11:14,324 --> 00:11:15,656 We can call them... 346 00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:17,291 Swiss Army Heels. 347 00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:19,727 Or how about Peek-A-Boots? 348 00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:22,530 Eh. It's good to have options. 349 00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:24,676 Oh! 350 00:11:28,725 --> 00:11:29,670 Huh. 351 00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:32,513 So, what do you think? 352 00:11:32,519 --> 00:11:35,063 Well, I think it's a good draft. 353 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,111 But... just playing devil's advocate here... 354 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,887 I was just envisioning this totally different, 355 00:11:40,893 --> 00:11:42,583 and just a little bit better. 356 00:11:43,092 --> 00:11:44,191 Uh... 357 00:11:44,243 --> 00:11:46,087 So... lose that. 358 00:11:46,089 --> 00:11:47,955 Keep this first word, 359 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,724 but then all of that's got to go. 360 00:11:49,726 --> 00:11:51,221 Uh, you know what? 361 00:11:51,604 --> 00:11:53,327 What do you say we just start from scratch? 362 00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:54,429 Shall we? 363 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,481 So, let's... 364 00:11:56,497 --> 00:11:57,765 What if we make the straps... 365 00:11:57,923 --> 00:11:59,372 Uh, shh, shh. 366 00:11:59,378 --> 00:12:00,168 Okay, um... 367 00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,949 All right? My ideas are whispering to me, 368 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,288 and I have to... 369 00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:09,110 - Hey! - Hey. 370 00:12:09,112 --> 00:12:11,446 Look who stopped over to see how you did on your project. 371 00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:12,580 So, how'd we do? 372 00:12:12,769 --> 00:12:14,269 I got a B+. 373 00:12:14,327 --> 00:12:16,484 - B+. - That's so great. 374 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,771 Thank you, little brother. 375 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,220 Thanks for what? 376 00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:21,422 - I invented a failure. - Oh, God. 377 00:12:21,424 --> 00:12:22,990 No, I am a professional inventor, 378 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,259 I should be getting an A- at least. 379 00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:26,394 Minimum. 380 00:12:26,529 --> 00:12:27,919 I got to get to my Dream Lab. 381 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:33,501 What made da Vinci so influential to Tesla was his... 382 00:12:34,899 --> 00:12:35,653 Hello. 383 00:12:35,809 --> 00:12:37,872 Uh, my name is Greg Short, and I have a problem. 384 00:12:37,874 --> 00:12:41,008 Sir, the A.A. meeting isn't until 6:00. 385 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,412 No. No, no, no. I am, uh, Sam's uncle, here. 386 00:12:44,414 --> 00:12:46,881 And I'd like to speak with you about her grade. 387 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,150 I'm teaching. 388 00:12:49,152 --> 00:12:50,840 Are you? Because it really sounds 389 00:12:50,846 --> 00:12:52,653 like you're unfairly criticizing. 390 00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:53,721 Samantha's prototype 391 00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:55,089 was amazing, 392 00:12:55,091 --> 00:12:58,526 and her essay was super, duper smart, 393 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,133 I mean, it included very witty wordplay, 394 00:13:01,139 --> 00:13:04,098 such as, uh, "Come heel or high water." 395 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,267 Sir, did you do her project for her? 396 00:13:06,269 --> 00:13:07,835 No. No, I did not. 397 00:13:07,837 --> 00:13:09,937 But I am a professional, 398 00:13:09,943 --> 00:13:11,205 um, inventor, 399 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,908 and I know a good idea when I hear one. 400 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:16,277 Oh. We've been studying inventors. 401 00:13:16,279 --> 00:13:19,347 Maybe you could tell the class about your work. 402 00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:21,282 Oh. Uh... 403 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:22,316 All right, sure. 404 00:13:22,318 --> 00:13:23,784 Yeah, I can spit my flow. 405 00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:26,654 Mrs. Sandoval, can I take a mental health day? 406 00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:28,956 So, as I'm sure Sam told you, 407 00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:31,526 I'm the guy that invented CryTunes. 408 00:13:31,528 --> 00:13:32,384 Ha. 409 00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:37,798 Which is a monitor that, uh, converts the sound 410 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,102 of a crying baby into smooth jazz. 411 00:13:41,104 --> 00:13:43,488 It's something my wife and I have been using 412 00:13:43,494 --> 00:13:44,472 with our daughter. 413 00:13:44,474 --> 00:13:45,640 Wife? 414 00:13:45,642 --> 00:13:47,175 Yeah, I have a wife. 415 00:13:47,503 --> 00:13:48,809 Do you have any more questions? 416 00:13:48,811 --> 00:13:51,923 Do you always ignore your child when it's in distress? 417 00:13:51,929 --> 00:13:53,674 We... Uh, it's not ignoring. 418 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,813 So if a stranger abducts your baby, you'd just hear jazz? 419 00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:58,819 Yeah, this idea is completely unsafe. 420 00:13:58,821 --> 00:14:00,054 No, it's not. 421 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,155 Good comeback. 422 00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,375 Why don't you talk more about 423 00:14:02,381 --> 00:14:05,159 how you plan on growing your business? 424 00:14:05,161 --> 00:14:06,961 Yeah. Yeah. 425 00:14:06,963 --> 00:14:11,256 We are growing at, uh, an almost-alarming rate. 426 00:14:11,262 --> 00:14:12,717 But in a good way. 427 00:14:12,723 --> 00:14:14,240 Uh, we're trying to expand 428 00:14:14,246 --> 00:14:16,404 our musical libraries to include 429 00:14:16,406 --> 00:14:17,672 alt-rock, 430 00:14:17,674 --> 00:14:18,906 alt-ska. 431 00:14:18,908 --> 00:14:20,141 All the alts. 432 00:14:20,143 --> 00:14:21,809 Do you have the licensing for that? 433 00:14:21,811 --> 00:14:23,377 Uh, not yet. 434 00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:24,812 This is a legal nightmare. 435 00:14:26,049 --> 00:14:27,682 Okay, look, I'm talking with people 436 00:14:27,684 --> 00:14:30,384 about selling my company for a lot of money, so... 437 00:14:30,386 --> 00:14:32,199 Then why are you talking to us? 438 00:14:33,315 --> 00:14:35,140 Because I love the children. 439 00:14:36,464 --> 00:14:37,558 I hate them. 440 00:14:37,939 --> 00:14:39,310 They ridiculed me. 441 00:14:39,316 --> 00:14:41,429 First it was CryTunes, then it was my jeans, 442 00:14:41,431 --> 00:14:42,803 then it was my posture. 443 00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:44,849 Aw, honey. They didn't mention you wearing 444 00:14:44,855 --> 00:14:46,572 your sunglasses on the back of your neck. 445 00:14:47,537 --> 00:14:48,569 Who's that? 446 00:14:48,571 --> 00:14:50,538 Sam? Hi. 447 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:51,672 What are you doing here? 448 00:14:51,674 --> 00:14:53,741 Have you come to make fun of my phone case, too? 449 00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,142 They made fun of my phone case. 450 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,978 I'm really sorry about all that. 451 00:14:57,186 --> 00:14:58,813 If it makes you feel any better, 452 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,449 one of the boys thought you were cute. 453 00:15:01,451 --> 00:15:02,704 Eh, you're just saying that. 454 00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:05,023 Okay, I am. But for real. 455 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,288 One of my friend's parents invests in startups, 456 00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:09,290 and he loves Peek-A-Boots. 457 00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:10,758 He wants to fund it. 458 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,594 What? That's amazing. 459 00:15:13,791 --> 00:15:16,811 Yeah. That's, that's... really great news, 460 00:15:16,817 --> 00:15:19,464 that there's a successful inventor in the family. 461 00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:20,838 I'm very happy for you. 462 00:15:20,844 --> 00:15:23,904 What do you mean "me"? This is our idea. 463 00:15:23,906 --> 00:15:25,517 I can't do this without you. 464 00:15:26,439 --> 00:15:27,506 Really? 465 00:15:27,977 --> 00:15:30,278 Okay. Uh... 466 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,612 I like the sound of this. 467 00:15:31,614 --> 00:15:32,580 Me, too. 468 00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:34,815 Partners. 70/30. 469 00:15:34,817 --> 00:15:36,484 Okay, well, that's not contractually binding. 470 00:15:36,486 --> 00:15:37,551 I'll write something up. 471 00:15:37,553 --> 00:15:38,919 Let's go celebrate, right? 472 00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:41,022 This is so exciting, you guys. 473 00:15:43,077 --> 00:15:44,558 Be right back. 474 00:15:49,832 --> 00:15:51,465 I don't touch bugs, you know? 475 00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:52,600 They're icky. 476 00:15:52,602 --> 00:15:54,435 Didn't you fight in a war? 477 00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:56,437 Some say I still am. 478 00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:01,030 _ 479 00:16:02,708 --> 00:16:03,864 Hi, sweetie. 480 00:16:03,870 --> 00:16:05,403 Hey, there's our favorite 481 00:16:05,409 --> 00:16:08,571 almost eight or nine-year-old granddaughter. 482 00:16:08,951 --> 00:16:11,151 We got you an early birthday gift 483 00:16:11,153 --> 00:16:13,402 because we couldn't wait to shower you with love 484 00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:15,385 and my coupon expires tomorrow. 485 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,966 Oh, you shouldn't have, guys. 486 00:16:16,968 --> 00:16:19,101 Because this year I just want gift cards. 487 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,870 That way, I can get what I want, 488 00:16:20,872 --> 00:16:22,939 and not just a bunch of pink stuff. 489 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:26,102 Giving gifts is not about buying someone something they want, 490 00:16:26,108 --> 00:16:28,299 it's about getting them something they don't want, 491 00:16:28,305 --> 00:16:30,499 so they learn to appreciate it. 492 00:16:30,843 --> 00:16:31,864 You want to open it? 493 00:16:31,870 --> 00:16:33,670 Yes. Thank you. 494 00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:41,359 A butterfly kit? 495 00:16:41,365 --> 00:16:42,964 Yes! Those little 496 00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:44,990 squirmy wormies 497 00:16:44,996 --> 00:16:48,631 are gonna transform magically into butterflies. 498 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,533 They are nature's drag queens. 499 00:16:50,535 --> 00:16:51,500 Thanks. 500 00:16:51,502 --> 00:16:52,735 How long does it take? 501 00:16:52,737 --> 00:16:54,003 Mm, just two weeks. 502 00:16:54,005 --> 00:16:55,771 - Two weeks? - Yeah. 503 00:16:55,773 --> 00:16:57,840 Couldn't you have thrown down a few extra bucks 504 00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,076 to get the same-day butterflies? 505 00:17:00,078 --> 00:17:02,887 I mean, you got a pension, right, Pop-Pop? 506 00:17:02,893 --> 00:17:05,481 Look, you can't pay nature to hurry things along. 507 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:08,784 If you could, I wouldn't clock so many hours on the toilet. 508 00:17:08,786 --> 00:17:10,138 - Ha. - Ugh. 509 00:17:13,036 --> 00:17:16,520 Wow, these cocoons are even more boring 510 00:17:16,526 --> 00:17:18,527 than the movie of the same name. 511 00:17:18,778 --> 00:17:20,029 Boring? 512 00:17:20,257 --> 00:17:21,787 Inside the cocoon, 513 00:17:21,793 --> 00:17:23,899 the caterpillar is digesting itself. 514 00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:28,004 If you were to cut it open, caterpillar guts would ooze out. 515 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,384 Ooh, let's do that. 516 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:30,789 Oh, no! Wait, wait. No. 517 00:17:30,795 --> 00:17:32,434 This is the exciting part, 518 00:17:32,622 --> 00:17:34,510 where you get to watch them 519 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,475 hang there for, like, ten more days. 520 00:17:39,663 --> 00:17:41,896 - Fine. - Great idea. 521 00:17:41,951 --> 00:17:44,353 You're gonna want to remember this experience. 522 00:17:44,415 --> 00:17:48,392 Actually, Michelangelo in class said that he would buy these. 523 00:17:48,398 --> 00:17:50,184 And since I really ripped him off 524 00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:51,794 in our last business venture, 525 00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:53,496 he wants pictures first. 526 00:17:53,498 --> 00:17:55,031 So you're selling them, hmm? 527 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,632 - Mm-hmm. - Okay, then. 528 00:17:56,634 --> 00:18:00,136 Uh, well, I'm sure Micacacalo will give them a good home. 529 00:18:00,301 --> 00:18:01,745 A good mobile home. 530 00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:07,056 Sophia wants to sell our butterflies 531 00:18:07,062 --> 00:18:08,177 because she says, 532 00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:10,766 "They're boring." 533 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:12,752 Oh, why are kids so impatient? 534 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,617 She needs to grow up already. 535 00:18:14,619 --> 00:18:18,821 Well, it seems to me some older folks can be impatient, too. 536 00:18:18,823 --> 00:18:20,823 I don't have time for this. 537 00:18:20,825 --> 00:18:23,122 Why is everybody so annoying? 538 00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:28,579 Sophia. 539 00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:32,462 Look, I understand if you want to sell 540 00:18:32,468 --> 00:18:34,494 a piece of Pop-Pop's heart. 541 00:18:35,135 --> 00:18:36,475 I mean, butterflies. 542 00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:39,753 Pop-Pop, one of the cocoons fell off the branch. 543 00:18:39,777 --> 00:18:41,077 I don't want him to die. 544 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,311 I'm only nine, 545 00:18:42,313 --> 00:18:44,164 and I've already buried three pets 546 00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:46,270 and my sheets that... 547 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,884 someone peed on. 548 00:18:48,886 --> 00:18:51,705 Well, I'll try to reattach him to the branch. 549 00:18:51,711 --> 00:18:52,774 But I'll warn you, 550 00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:54,323 it's gonna be a risky procedure, 551 00:18:54,325 --> 00:18:56,672 because I don't touch bugs. 552 00:18:56,726 --> 00:18:57,890 They're icky. 553 00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:03,332 I do this for Dad when he's making a sandwich. 554 00:19:03,839 --> 00:19:05,301 Ah, well. 555 00:19:05,886 --> 00:19:09,138 Yeah, we've done all we can to save one of God's creatures. 556 00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:10,951 I'm gonna name her Deirdre. 557 00:19:11,365 --> 00:19:12,455 Well, I guess that's fair, 558 00:19:12,461 --> 00:19:15,010 since I named all of those other ones John. 559 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:17,780 I really hope she pulls through. 560 00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:20,716 Or dies quickly, so she's not a burden. 561 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,747 Did I miss it? 562 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:29,371 I ran out on my probation hearing at the country club 563 00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:30,317 as soon as I heard. 564 00:19:30,319 --> 00:19:31,794 Nope, you're just in time. 565 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:32,787 They're hatching. 566 00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:34,239 Ooh, thank God. 567 00:19:34,245 --> 00:19:36,079 It's the only hobby I got left. 568 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:38,382 Oh, no, 569 00:19:38,388 --> 00:19:39,934 Deirdre never came out. 570 00:19:40,085 --> 00:19:42,133 But let's not tell the other butterflies yet. 571 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:45,107 Let them keep their innocence a little longer. 572 00:19:45,109 --> 00:19:47,443 Sweetie, I'm sure she's flying in heaven. 573 00:19:47,445 --> 00:19:49,078 Yeah, but everyone flies up there, 574 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,767 so it's, like, no big deal. 575 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,293 No, look, she's hatching! 576 00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:01,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 577 00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:06,292 Why is saying good-bye always so hard? 578 00:20:06,298 --> 00:20:08,089 I know, but if you love something, 579 00:20:08,095 --> 00:20:09,694 you have to set it free. Right? 580 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,067 Is that's why you walk around with your robe open? 581 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:14,341 This is the best gift ever. 582 00:20:14,445 --> 00:20:15,357 When I grow up, 583 00:20:15,363 --> 00:20:17,064 I'm gonna get a butterfly tattoo 584 00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:18,313 on my lower back. 585 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,175 You want to do the honors? 586 00:20:40,207 --> 00:20:42,307 What are those crows doing? 587 00:20:42,553 --> 00:20:44,266 They're just saying hello. 588 00:20:44,268 --> 00:20:46,908 Uh, you know, welcoming them to the neighborhood. 589 00:20:46,914 --> 00:20:47,939 Oh, that was nice of them. 590 00:20:47,945 --> 00:20:49,171 They're happy they're here. 591 00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:51,273 Yeah, well, the lesson about life wasn't quick, 592 00:20:51,285 --> 00:20:53,038 the one about death sure is, huh? 593 00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:53,943 What do you mean? 594 00:20:54,305 --> 00:21:00,882 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/3s6hh Help other users to choose the best subtitles