1 00:00:00,819 --> 00:00:04,659 Dom, you took unauthorised photos of a crime scene, 2 00:00:04,699 --> 00:00:07,659 potentially contaminating evidence. 3 00:00:07,699 --> 00:00:09,899 If this gets out, I'm in big trouble. 4 00:00:09,939 --> 00:00:11,499 Hi, I'm Cooper. 5 00:00:11,539 --> 00:00:12,939 Great name. 6 00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:16,459 And I look forward to seeing you again in a few hours, 7 00:00:16,499 --> 00:00:18,259 glorious Gloria. 8 00:00:19,939 --> 00:00:21,939 Bonjour, Simone. 9 00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:23,979 I have a proposition for you. 10 00:00:29,099 --> 00:00:30,299 Hallelujah! 11 00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:33,339 No! They made us both buttonholes! 12 00:00:33,379 --> 00:00:34,779 THEY LAUGH 13 00:00:34,819 --> 00:00:36,939 I wanna press that for posterity. 14 00:00:36,979 --> 00:00:38,219 Oh... 15 00:00:38,259 --> 00:00:40,419 God love our Sharon... 16 00:00:40,459 --> 00:00:43,019 bringing all the presents back from the wedding. 17 00:00:43,059 --> 00:00:45,939 She's the only one that doesn't drink any more. 18 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,939 She's a slave to that slimming club. 19 00:00:50,139 --> 00:00:51,579 Shall we open our pressies? 20 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,619 Go on, then! Right... 21 00:00:53,659 --> 00:00:54,859 This... 22 00:00:56,059 --> 00:00:57,979 Oop! Lots of love... 23 00:00:58,019 --> 00:00:59,579 Aunty Vera! 24 00:00:59,619 --> 00:01:01,339 I'm in my 60s! 25 00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:04,459 Does she really think I've never made a piece of toast before? 26 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,619 Oh, it's retro. Like you! 27 00:01:06,659 --> 00:01:08,019 You're not wrong! 28 00:01:08,059 --> 00:01:11,339 Oh, look, she's put the gift receipt in, bless her. 29 00:01:11,379 --> 00:01:13,059 I'll trade it in for some champagne! 30 00:01:13,099 --> 00:01:14,539 THEY LAUGH 31 00:01:14,579 --> 00:01:16,539 Right, this one... 32 00:01:16,579 --> 00:01:18,539 from your Theresa. 33 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,419 Let's have a look. 34 00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:26,299 A personalised soap dispenser. Mm. 35 00:01:26,339 --> 00:01:27,859 Just what we need! 36 00:01:27,899 --> 00:01:32,699 Eh, did you see our Theresa's face when she couldn't catch the bouquet? 37 00:01:32,739 --> 00:01:35,579 I thought she was actually gonna lamp someone! 38 00:01:35,619 --> 00:01:36,899 I thought she was actually gonna THEY CHUCKLE 39 00:01:36,939 --> 00:01:38,859 Ooh, this one looks nice. 40 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,139 Who's it from? 41 00:01:40,179 --> 00:01:42,139 There's no gift card - it must've fallen off. 42 00:01:42,179 --> 00:01:44,179 Here, you open it. OK. 43 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:46,859 Ooh! 44 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,339 There's a pouch... 45 00:01:50,299 --> 00:01:51,539 Ooh... 46 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,459 There's some age to them. 47 00:01:54,619 --> 00:01:56,299 You can tell by the paper. Mm. 48 00:01:56,339 --> 00:01:59,339 I'm not really up on this sort of stuff, though. 49 00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,059 I've never seen anything like them. 50 00:02:02,219 --> 00:02:03,579 I wonder who they're from? 51 00:02:03,619 --> 00:02:05,259 Be one of my dealer mates. 52 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,939 I'll ring round tomorrow. 53 00:02:06,979 --> 00:02:08,699 GRAVEL CRUNCHES, BRICK CLATTERS 54 00:02:08,739 --> 00:02:09,899 Did you hear that? 55 00:02:09,939 --> 00:02:11,219 ..No? 56 00:02:12,259 --> 00:02:13,459 Oh, no... 57 00:02:13,499 --> 00:02:16,099 I'm hearing things, now! 58 00:02:16,139 --> 00:02:17,939 We'll get off first thing in the morning, eh? 59 00:02:17,979 --> 00:02:19,859 Sounds good. 60 00:02:19,899 --> 00:02:22,259 I can't wait for you to meet Jean. You're gonna love her. 61 00:02:22,299 --> 00:02:25,299 I hope so, because I haven't really liked any of your other friends, 62 00:02:25,339 --> 00:02:26,739 to be honest! Eh?! 63 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,899 Well, I just like it me and you. 64 00:02:28,939 --> 00:02:30,619 Just the two of us. 65 00:02:31,659 --> 00:02:32,659 Yeah. 66 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,099 Go on, go and get me some more champagne. 67 00:02:37,059 --> 00:02:38,459 I'm on it. 68 00:02:42,739 --> 00:02:44,659 HAMMERING ON GLASS 69 00:02:47,139 --> 00:02:48,779 HE GASPS 70 00:02:49,699 --> 00:02:51,579 Are you OK, darling? 71 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,579 Oh, my GOD. 72 00:02:55,619 --> 00:02:57,739 What happened? 73 00:02:57,779 --> 00:02:59,659 THEME MUSIC 74 00:02:59,699 --> 00:03:03,219 {\an8}# Do you remember the first time 75 00:03:03,259 --> 00:03:07,459 {\an8}# That my eyes set on you? 76 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:12,499 {\an8}# Your smile came from nowhere 77 00:03:12,539 --> 00:03:16,899 {\an8}# For sometime never or sometime soon 78 00:03:19,179 --> 00:03:22,139 {\an8}# The road is a long one 79 00:03:22,179 --> 00:03:26,579 {\an8}# I was lonely passing through 80 00:03:29,619 --> 00:03:35,819 {\an8}# I was only passing through. # 81 00:03:51,219 --> 00:03:53,099 Ha! Jean! 82 00:03:53,139 --> 00:03:55,459 Ah, how lovely to see ya! 83 00:03:55,499 --> 00:03:56,739 Lovely to see you, too! 84 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:59,939 Jean, this is my new husband, George. 85 00:03:59,979 --> 00:04:02,659 Husband! Gonna have to get used to saying that! 86 00:04:02,699 --> 00:04:04,539 It's so lovely to meet you. 87 00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:05,979 Lovely to meet you, too. 88 00:04:06,019 --> 00:04:08,459 I tell you what, though, that is the last time I get a bus 89 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:11,539 from the airport. That kid never stopped screaming the whole journey! 90 00:04:11,579 --> 00:04:12,939 Honestly! 91 00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:15,259 Wait a minute, what...? 92 00:04:15,299 --> 00:04:18,659 Oh... I'm getting straight on the phone to that bus company. 93 00:04:18,699 --> 00:04:21,059 Well, look, I'm sure it was an accident. 94 00:04:21,099 --> 00:04:22,779 It looks deliberate to me! 95 00:04:22,819 --> 00:04:24,139 Oh, that's outrageous. 96 00:04:24,179 --> 00:04:25,579 You can call on the way. 97 00:04:25,619 --> 00:04:27,779 My house is only round the corner - come on. 98 00:04:27,819 --> 00:04:30,299 It's a new bag! Sorry about that. 99 00:04:57,499 --> 00:04:58,779 BOLT LIFTS 100 00:04:58,819 --> 00:05:01,419 Here you go, darlings. I hope you'll be comfy. 101 00:05:01,459 --> 00:05:03,099 Oh, it's lovely! 102 00:05:03,139 --> 00:05:04,459 Now, then... 103 00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:10,579 No, it doesn't look like they've taken anything. 104 00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:12,779 Oh, that would've been all you needed. 105 00:05:12,819 --> 00:05:16,179 Look at you, going all Carmen Miranda since living abroad! 106 00:05:16,219 --> 00:05:17,859 It's the south of France! 107 00:05:17,899 --> 00:05:20,219 Anyway, it covers a multitude of sins, that. 108 00:05:20,259 --> 00:05:21,499 Oh, I remember that. 109 00:05:21,539 --> 00:05:23,659 Antiques fair, Skegness! 110 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,859 I thought I'd bagged a lovely piece of Page pottery. 111 00:05:26,899 --> 00:05:28,499 Until he put his glasses on! 112 00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:30,099 It's such a bad copy, I had to have it! 113 00:05:30,139 --> 00:05:31,499 MOBILE BUZZES 114 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,339 I'll never live that down! 115 00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:36,019 It's work - I should probably take it. 116 00:05:36,059 --> 00:05:37,299 Can you give me a minute? 117 00:05:37,339 --> 00:05:38,939 Oh, yeah, course! 118 00:05:45,619 --> 00:05:47,019 What happened? 119 00:05:47,059 --> 00:05:48,539 I need to know everything. 120 00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:50,699 How long have you got, kid? 121 00:05:50,739 --> 00:05:52,419 Well, why don't we start at the beginning? 122 00:05:52,459 --> 00:05:53,979 What happened between you and Alan? 123 00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:56,219 Why did you break up? Well... 124 00:05:56,259 --> 00:05:59,099 You know he was getting more and more New Age, 125 00:05:59,139 --> 00:06:02,059 which I didn't mind at all when it first started... 126 00:06:02,099 --> 00:06:03,219 Go on. 127 00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:06,339 ..but it all came to a head when we got to Majorca. 128 00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:09,059 He wouldn't let us eat out. What? 129 00:06:09,099 --> 00:06:14,099 Said that he could only eat foods to "awaken his soul." 130 00:06:14,139 --> 00:06:16,619 I tried my best, Jean, but there's only so many times 131 00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:18,419 you can have broccoli for breakfast. 132 00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:20,379 Oh! Really sorry, love. 133 00:06:20,419 --> 00:06:22,099 We just grew into different people. 134 00:06:22,139 --> 00:06:25,859 We had ten great years and we're fine now, 135 00:06:25,899 --> 00:06:28,859 and actually, he's been great about George. 136 00:06:28,899 --> 00:06:31,019 So where did you meet George? 137 00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,819 Antiques do in Mayfair. 138 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,259 He's a top sommelier. 139 00:06:34,299 --> 00:06:36,099 Supplied the wine. That's handy. 140 00:06:37,499 --> 00:06:39,659 I know I'm punching above my weight, 141 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,539 I mean, it's only been three months, but... 142 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:46,939 I have never felt anything like this before in my life, Jean. 143 00:06:46,979 --> 00:06:50,339 He seems to know everything I'm thinking about! 144 00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,819 Hey... 145 00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:53,979 You're only here once, 146 00:06:54,019 --> 00:06:57,099 you should grab your happiness with both hands. Yeah! 147 00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:58,939 Oh, it's great to see you, Jean. 148 00:06:58,979 --> 00:07:00,499 And you, love. 149 00:07:00,539 --> 00:07:01,939 How was the wedding? 150 00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:05,099 I'm so sorry I couldn't make it. Don't be daft! 151 00:07:05,139 --> 00:07:06,939 My lot were all there, of course. 152 00:07:06,979 --> 00:07:09,179 Anything for a free drink, as you know! 153 00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:13,179 Hey, our Theresa has had a perm that makes her look like Kevin Keegan! 154 00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:17,859 And we got some lovely gifts. 155 00:07:17,899 --> 00:07:19,259 But the weirdest one... 156 00:07:20,259 --> 00:07:22,579 ..were these creepy playing cards. 157 00:07:22,619 --> 00:07:24,739 I don't know who gave them to us. 158 00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:27,379 I rang round all my dealer mates who came, 159 00:07:27,419 --> 00:07:29,019 but nobody would own up to them. 160 00:07:29,059 --> 00:07:30,219 Ohh. 161 00:07:31,259 --> 00:07:32,699 They're old, aren't they? Mm. 162 00:07:32,739 --> 00:07:36,379 Not really my thing, but my business partner will know. 163 00:07:36,419 --> 00:07:38,099 Hey - look at that, there... 164 00:07:38,139 --> 00:07:40,339 Jack of clubs, first card out. 165 00:07:40,379 --> 00:07:43,019 That is a sign of good luck. Yeah? 166 00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:45,939 Well, it wasn't much good luck on my wedding night, was it? 167 00:07:45,979 --> 00:07:48,539 You know that mirror in my pantry? Yeah? 168 00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:50,379 It fell down and nearly chopped my head off. 169 00:07:50,419 --> 00:07:51,939 Blimey, you didn't mention that. 170 00:07:51,979 --> 00:07:53,179 I know! 171 00:07:53,219 --> 00:07:54,699 Put the fear of God into me! 172 00:07:54,739 --> 00:07:58,339 I bet it did. Are you all right now? Yeah, I'm fine. 173 00:07:58,379 --> 00:07:59,659 Oh, right. 174 00:07:59,699 --> 00:08:02,299 When George gets off the phone, I'll show you around, eh? 175 00:08:02,339 --> 00:08:03,579 When George gets off the phone, Sounds great. 176 00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:08,899 IN FRENCH: 177 00:08:18,219 --> 00:08:20,659 You need my wife to get to Jean. 178 00:08:20,699 --> 00:08:22,499 Yes. 179 00:08:22,539 --> 00:08:25,659 I don't think Charlie's gonna fall for a love letter. 180 00:08:25,699 --> 00:08:28,779 She hasn't been to visit once over the past six months. 181 00:08:28,819 --> 00:08:31,939 Did you write down exactly what I told you to?Yes. 182 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:36,659 Well, if she still loves you, she'll be back, I promise. 183 00:08:36,699 --> 00:08:39,179 Use your phone call to tell me when she does. 184 00:08:40,299 --> 00:08:42,539 And I'll tell you what to ask next. 185 00:08:42,579 --> 00:08:45,259 And you still agree to my fee? 186 00:08:45,299 --> 00:08:47,739 Oh, I paid you well last time, didn't I? 187 00:08:47,779 --> 00:08:48,979 Yeah. 188 00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:51,539 And to think I was scared of you. 189 00:08:53,539 --> 00:08:55,819 Well, you should be. 190 00:08:55,859 --> 00:08:58,139 BELL RINGS 191 00:09:24,339 --> 00:09:26,819 VOICE-OVER IN FRENCH: 192 00:09:49,059 --> 00:09:51,019 SHE EXHALES 193 00:09:57,859 --> 00:09:59,779 Yeah, massive bells. 194 00:09:59,819 --> 00:10:01,419 I can see why you live here, Jean. 195 00:10:01,459 --> 00:10:03,219 Yeah, it's beautiful, but... 196 00:10:03,259 --> 00:10:05,139 it's about the people, really. 197 00:10:05,179 --> 00:10:09,059 I mean, when Rory died, there was not much to keep me in Manchester. 198 00:10:09,099 --> 00:10:10,499 In fact, 199 00:10:10,539 --> 00:10:13,539 you're the first people that I've shown around here. Yeah? 200 00:10:14,899 --> 00:10:16,499 I must be staying! Yeah. 201 00:10:16,539 --> 00:10:19,259 Do you fancy going to have a look at the shop? BOTH: Yeah. 202 00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:20,859 It's only down here. Definitely. 203 00:10:20,899 --> 00:10:22,339 That's a massive church. 204 00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:23,979 Oh, they love a big church here. 205 00:10:29,059 --> 00:10:30,699 Charlie must have nipped out. 206 00:10:30,739 --> 00:10:32,219 Ohh... 207 00:10:33,419 --> 00:10:34,819 Wow. 208 00:10:36,379 --> 00:10:38,659 This place is amazing, Jean. 209 00:10:38,699 --> 00:10:40,219 Well, we're getting there. 210 00:10:40,259 --> 00:10:41,299 Oop... 211 00:10:41,339 --> 00:10:44,979 Nice bit of Kintsugi going on there. May I? 212 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,299 Yeah. 213 00:10:47,459 --> 00:10:49,659 What's Kintsugi? 214 00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:51,899 Well, "kin" means golden, 215 00:10:51,939 --> 00:10:54,499 and "sugi" means to join, so literally, 216 00:10:54,539 --> 00:10:56,299 to join with gold. 217 00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:58,659 The story goes that there was a 15th-century Shogun 218 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,819 that broke his favourite tea bowl, 219 00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:02,259 and when it was repaired, 220 00:11:02,299 --> 00:11:04,659 it was with awful metal pins. 221 00:11:04,699 --> 00:11:08,579 So a craftsman filled all the cracks with golden lacquer. 222 00:11:08,619 --> 00:11:11,619 Yeah, so the cracks are seen as beauty elements. 223 00:11:11,659 --> 00:11:15,859 The philosophy being that we should embrace our imperfections, 224 00:11:15,899 --> 00:11:18,059 and think carefully before we discard something 225 00:11:18,099 --> 00:11:20,099 just because it's broken. 226 00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:21,859 Like you did, George, when you married me. 227 00:11:21,899 --> 00:11:23,299 Ohh! 228 00:11:23,339 --> 00:11:24,859 THEY LAUGH 229 00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:26,059 Ooh... 230 00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:29,979 Now, I like this. 231 00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:33,659 So that's got pink and turquoise opal on the handles. 232 00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:36,579 Mm, I made a bomb out of a black opal 233 00:11:36,619 --> 00:11:39,259 when I was travelling across Australia.Oh! 234 00:11:41,019 --> 00:11:42,139 I'd like to buy this for you. 235 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,299 As a wedding gift. 236 00:11:43,339 --> 00:11:47,659 Thanks, love, but don't get me wrong, but... I don't want it. 237 00:11:47,699 --> 00:11:49,459 I don't mean to be ungrateful, 238 00:11:49,499 --> 00:11:52,819 it's just that I'm a bit superstitious about opals. 239 00:11:52,859 --> 00:11:55,379 The play of the colours ever-changing - 240 00:11:55,419 --> 00:11:57,659 I just don't trust them. Suit yourself! 241 00:11:57,699 --> 00:11:59,899 Well, I'd like to buy it, I think it's lovely. 242 00:11:59,939 --> 00:12:02,419 Well, to you, it is free. 243 00:12:02,459 --> 00:12:02,619 Ooh! Well, to you, it is free. 244 00:12:02,659 --> 00:12:04,659 Ooh! Oh, thank you! 245 00:12:04,699 --> 00:12:05,699 Ooh, 246 00:12:05,739 --> 00:12:09,419 before I forget, can you leave those cards for Charlie to have a look at? 247 00:12:09,459 --> 00:12:12,139 Oh, yeah, course. Here they are. 248 00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:15,819 Well, they must be French, cos they're in the Rouen style, 249 00:12:15,859 --> 00:12:19,379 which was banned from being imported to England in 1628... 250 00:12:19,419 --> 00:12:21,299 The English ones are much cruder. 251 00:12:21,339 --> 00:12:23,059 There's a shock! 252 00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:25,339 Oh, Charlie will know. 253 00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:27,699 I'm starving. Let's go to the pub. 254 00:12:34,979 --> 00:12:38,059 I can safely say there is nothing mechanically wrong with your car. 255 00:12:38,099 --> 00:12:40,379 Oh, thanks, Glo, I've been so worried about it. 256 00:12:40,419 --> 00:12:42,579 Just can't afford for the car to break down. 257 00:12:42,619 --> 00:12:46,859 Ah, but I did find these little fellas. 258 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:49,699 The noise was them rolling about under the seat. 259 00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:51,699 Oh, you've found them! 260 00:12:52,699 --> 00:12:55,459 Are they your little nephew's from when he stayed? 261 00:12:55,499 --> 00:12:58,099 Yeah, yeah. That's right. 262 00:12:58,139 --> 00:12:59,659 They're his jacks. 263 00:12:59,699 --> 00:13:00,819 Thank you. 264 00:13:00,859 --> 00:13:02,539 I'll have a sparkling water. 265 00:13:02,579 --> 00:13:04,299 On the house. Thank you very much. 266 00:13:05,459 --> 00:13:09,659 Hm, there's more carbs on that plate then I've eaten in a year! 267 00:13:09,699 --> 00:13:12,499 Trying to keep myself trim for George, but that ship's sailed! 268 00:13:12,539 --> 00:13:14,699 Nothing like Alan, eh? No. 269 00:13:14,739 --> 00:13:18,059 Is it true that you actually ate broccoli for breakfast? 270 00:13:18,099 --> 00:13:19,499 We ate it, we drank it, 271 00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:21,539 in fact, there wasn't much we didn't do with it. 272 00:13:21,579 --> 00:13:23,019 Oh, aye? 273 00:13:23,059 --> 00:13:25,379 No, not like that! 274 00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:28,259 Oh, thank you. Thanks, love. 275 00:13:29,619 --> 00:13:31,539 Here you go. 276 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,299 And one more of the same. 277 00:13:38,539 --> 00:13:41,019 Enjoy your lunch and if you need anything else, 278 00:13:41,059 --> 00:13:42,259 don't hesitate to ask. 279 00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:46,499 Niall, let me introduce you. This is one of my dearest friends, David, 280 00:13:46,539 --> 00:13:49,739 and this is his new husband, George. 281 00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:53,259 Lovely to meet you both. I've forgotten your cutlery. 282 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:55,179 Just a minute. Oh, Niall, come here. 283 00:14:02,539 --> 00:14:03,979 SHE CHUCKLES 284 00:14:07,659 --> 00:14:09,099 Who's that with Jean? 285 00:14:10,539 --> 00:14:11,899 Old mate of hers. 286 00:14:11,939 --> 00:14:14,659 Him and his fella have just got married. Ahh, nice. 287 00:14:15,859 --> 00:14:18,779 Yes, love is indeed in the air at the moment, isn't it? 288 00:14:20,939 --> 00:14:22,819 You are SO obvious. 289 00:14:22,859 --> 00:14:23,899 What? 290 00:14:23,939 --> 00:14:26,419 I didn't know Cooper was a taxi driver. 291 00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:29,699 I don't know what you're talking about. 292 00:14:29,739 --> 00:14:31,939 I've known you for 20 years, Dominic. 293 00:14:31,979 --> 00:14:35,419 And you've always been very transparent and a rubbish liar. 294 00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:36,619 Thank you very much (!) 295 00:14:38,259 --> 00:14:40,499 So... how's it going with you two? 296 00:14:40,539 --> 00:14:42,059 Great. 297 00:14:42,099 --> 00:14:43,539 I really like him. 298 00:14:43,579 --> 00:14:45,699 Someone to do nothing with. 299 00:14:45,739 --> 00:14:47,499 What? 300 00:14:47,539 --> 00:14:49,219 Me and you once said 301 00:14:49,259 --> 00:14:51,819 it wasn't about finding someone to do SOMETHING with, 302 00:14:51,859 --> 00:14:54,699 it was about finding someone to do nothing with, do you remember? 303 00:14:56,899 --> 00:14:58,059 Yeah. 304 00:14:58,099 --> 00:15:00,219 Yeah, I do, yeah. 305 00:15:00,259 --> 00:15:01,819 I think you'll really like him, Dom. 306 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:05,459 Well, he has got excellent taste in women, so... 307 00:15:05,499 --> 00:15:07,219 So I'm sure I will. Aww! 308 00:15:07,259 --> 00:15:09,939 Come here. Oh, Dom - thanks, love. 309 00:15:09,979 --> 00:15:12,339 Happy for you, love. Thanks, love. 310 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,539 Et voila! Oh, thank you! 311 00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:16,019 SHE GIGGLES 312 00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:18,859 I thought we deserved a treat. 313 00:15:18,899 --> 00:15:21,299 Now, this is especially for you, George, 314 00:15:21,339 --> 00:15:23,659 being a top sommelier. 315 00:15:23,699 --> 00:15:25,499 Go on, George, what is it? 316 00:15:25,539 --> 00:15:27,539 It's a...? 317 00:15:27,579 --> 00:15:30,059 A Chateau Simone Rouge! 318 00:15:30,099 --> 00:15:32,699 Oh, of course! 319 00:15:32,739 --> 00:15:35,339 Oh, well, thank you so much - that's very kind. 320 00:15:35,379 --> 00:15:38,899 Don't be fooled, George, she's gagging for a glass.I am! 321 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,779 Hey, after this, 322 00:15:40,819 --> 00:15:43,339 do you boys mind going for an explore? 323 00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:45,859 It's just I've got loads of admin to do. 324 00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:48,699 I'm dying for an explore. It's like Disneyland round here. 325 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,899 I haven't seen so many antiques on display 326 00:15:50,939 --> 00:15:53,459 since my mother's am-dram group did the Lion King! 327 00:15:53,499 --> 00:15:55,099 THEY LAUGH 328 00:16:26,139 --> 00:16:27,299 Jean! 329 00:16:29,019 --> 00:16:30,019 Jean... 330 00:16:31,619 --> 00:16:33,259 Where did they get these cards from? 331 00:16:33,299 --> 00:16:35,419 They were a wedding present. 332 00:16:35,459 --> 00:16:36,499 From who? 333 00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:37,939 They couldn't find the gift card. 334 00:16:39,059 --> 00:16:40,499 What's the matter? 335 00:16:40,539 --> 00:16:42,219 Look at the Queen. 336 00:16:42,259 --> 00:16:45,499 Each card of the Queen has a mark of a winged serpent. 337 00:16:46,779 --> 00:16:49,259 This means they were made for La Voisin herself, hein? 338 00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,139 Who? You don't know La Voisin? 339 00:16:51,179 --> 00:16:53,099 The French sorceress burnt at the stake? 340 00:16:53,139 --> 00:16:57,059 Mm, like many innocent women before her. Uh, non... 341 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,939 There was nothing innocent about La Voisin. 342 00:16:59,979 --> 00:17:01,939 She was evil, 343 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,539 through and through. 344 00:17:03,579 --> 00:17:06,419 You have heard of l'affaire de poisons 345 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,539 during the reign of Louis XIV? Yeah, I do - that rings a bell. 346 00:17:09,579 --> 00:17:11,699 Remind me. 347 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,899 Many fortune tellers and alchemists 348 00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:18,419 were suspected of selling not only divinations and seances 349 00:17:18,459 --> 00:17:21,979 and aphrodisiacs, but also inheritance powders. 350 00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:24,379 Inheritance powders? 351 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:25,459 Poisons. 352 00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:28,739 They were rounded up and tried - 353 00:17:28,779 --> 00:17:33,339 La Voisin's testimony implicated the mistress of the king, 354 00:17:33,379 --> 00:17:36,139 who claimed she had performed Black Masses with her. 355 00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:38,179 Black Masses? Ouai! 356 00:17:38,219 --> 00:17:41,979 La Voisin was convicted of witchcraft and poisoning, 357 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:45,219 and burnt in public on the Place de Greve, Paris, 358 00:17:45,259 --> 00:17:47,379 in 1680. 359 00:17:47,419 --> 00:17:50,899 And you think these cards actually belong to her? 360 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,459 Ben... The winged serpent proves it, hein? 361 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:58,579 Jean, these are very, very rare. 362 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,059 And very, very cursed. 363 00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:02,699 Ball park? 364 00:18:02,739 --> 00:18:04,059 Bof... 365 00:18:04,099 --> 00:18:06,539 Thousands, depending on the buyer. 366 00:18:06,579 --> 00:18:10,459 Wow, that's some wedding present. They need to find the gift card! 367 00:18:10,499 --> 00:18:13,179 Did you hear what I said, Jean? They carry a curse, hein? 368 00:18:13,219 --> 00:18:14,739 Yeah, curses! 369 00:18:17,619 --> 00:18:19,219 MOBILE PHONE RINGS 370 00:18:22,339 --> 00:18:23,859 Ooh, you beauty! 371 00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:26,939 Hi, Maggie. 372 00:18:26,979 --> 00:18:30,139 Oh, thanks for getting back so quickly. 373 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,139 Well... 374 00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,139 It is a bit of a funny story, actually. 375 00:18:35,179 --> 00:18:36,899 My friend David got married, 376 00:18:36,939 --> 00:18:39,259 and he got the cards as a wedding present. 377 00:18:41,339 --> 00:18:44,939 No. No, not jewellery David, no. 378 00:18:44,979 --> 00:18:47,099 No, ceramic David. 379 00:18:47,139 --> 00:18:49,259 Well, I've just found out 380 00:18:49,299 --> 00:18:51,739 they belonged to a mad French witch! 381 00:18:54,219 --> 00:18:55,659 Yeah. 382 00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:57,699 La Voisin, yeah! 383 00:18:57,739 --> 00:19:00,779 Well, first person I thought of was you. 384 00:19:00,819 --> 00:19:03,139 No, cos you like the, er... 385 00:19:03,179 --> 00:19:04,779 Supernatural and all that. 386 00:19:04,819 --> 00:19:07,019 Do you think you can shift them for me? 387 00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:11,819 GASPS Oh, Maggie, that's fantastic. 388 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,939 GASPS LAUGHTER 389 00:19:13,979 --> 00:19:16,139 So... Really?! 390 00:19:16,179 --> 00:19:18,779 I need a very strong drink! 391 00:19:18,819 --> 00:19:20,539 HE SHOUTS IN FRENCH 392 00:19:20,579 --> 00:19:23,339 SHOUTS THREATS 393 00:19:25,819 --> 00:19:27,659 Ah! 394 00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:30,739 George? 395 00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:32,739 MAN SHOUTS 396 00:19:39,499 --> 00:19:41,619 Thank you for your statement. 397 00:19:41,659 --> 00:19:45,019 I don't know about you, darling, but I could do with a brandy. Yeah. 398 00:19:47,899 --> 00:19:52,099 So, David, what do you remember? 399 00:19:52,139 --> 00:19:55,779 I'll try my best, officer, but I'm a bit of a mess, to be honest. 400 00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:57,339 Take your time. 401 00:19:58,779 --> 00:20:00,099 Um... 402 00:20:00,139 --> 00:20:01,939 We were walking down the street, 403 00:20:01,979 --> 00:20:05,139 when this man came out of nowhere, screaming. 404 00:20:05,179 --> 00:20:07,539 That must have been terrifying, love. 405 00:20:07,579 --> 00:20:09,939 Could you describe what the man looked like? 406 00:20:09,979 --> 00:20:12,539 As George has already said, his face was covered! 407 00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:13,819 We didn't see anything! 408 00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:18,619 He's got to ask, love. 409 00:20:18,659 --> 00:20:20,099 I know it's hard, 410 00:20:20,139 --> 00:20:22,659 but just do your best. Sorry, I, um... 411 00:20:23,939 --> 00:20:26,099 He came at me. So... 412 00:20:26,139 --> 00:20:28,099 You are sure he came at you alone? 413 00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:30,659 George says he came at both of you. 414 00:20:30,699 --> 00:20:33,339 Yeah, yeah - he came at both of us. 415 00:20:34,539 --> 00:20:36,939 I've never been more scared in my entire life. 416 00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:39,139 I can completely understand. 417 00:20:40,179 --> 00:20:43,459 Have you any idea what he was screaming at you? 418 00:20:43,499 --> 00:20:45,059 No, it was all in French! 419 00:20:45,099 --> 00:20:47,779 I knew I should have paid more attention at school! 420 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,899 I think that is enough for now. 421 00:20:52,939 --> 00:20:55,139 Thank you for your statements. 422 00:20:55,179 --> 00:20:58,379 Thank you. St Victoire is a small town. 423 00:20:58,419 --> 00:21:00,619 I'm sure we will catch them. 424 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,859 Yeah, that's good to know, thanks. 425 00:21:02,899 --> 00:21:06,019 I will be in touch. Thanks, Andre. 426 00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:17,099 They've had such bad luck since they got here, I'm so embarrassed. 427 00:21:18,219 --> 00:21:19,419 Have you got any leads? 428 00:21:19,459 --> 00:21:21,899 We do have someone who says he saw what happened, 429 00:21:21,939 --> 00:21:23,859 but he'd had a good few drinks, 430 00:21:23,899 --> 00:21:26,059 so I don't how reliable he is. 431 00:21:26,099 --> 00:21:28,299 It doesn't quite fit with George's version of events. 432 00:21:29,459 --> 00:21:30,579 What did he say? 433 00:21:30,619 --> 00:21:33,459 Well, he says that the cyclist seemed to steer 434 00:21:33,499 --> 00:21:35,339 right into David's attacker. 435 00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:37,939 Of course, it all happened so fast. 436 00:21:37,979 --> 00:21:39,899 Surely if that was the case, 437 00:21:39,939 --> 00:21:42,139 he would have stayed around to see if David was OK? 438 00:21:42,179 --> 00:21:43,699 Made himself known? 439 00:21:43,739 --> 00:21:46,179 Yes, that's what I thought. 440 00:21:46,219 --> 00:21:48,699 He's got it wrong, clearly. 441 00:21:48,739 --> 00:21:51,179 Go back to your friends, I'll keep asking around. 442 00:21:51,219 --> 00:21:52,619 We will do everything we can. 443 00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:53,819 Thank you. 444 00:21:55,059 --> 00:21:56,379 SHE SIGHS 445 00:21:59,779 --> 00:22:01,459 Caron is a good copper. 446 00:22:01,499 --> 00:22:04,379 I'm sure he'll do everything he can. He seems really nice. 447 00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:06,459 I feel terrible. 448 00:22:07,579 --> 00:22:08,899 I just froze. 449 00:22:10,059 --> 00:22:11,579 I should have helped. 450 00:22:11,619 --> 00:22:13,019 It's OK, love. 451 00:22:13,059 --> 00:22:16,099 It's a bit like closing time when I was a kid. 452 00:22:16,139 --> 00:22:20,059 Thank God that cyclist was passing - I owe them a drink! 453 00:22:20,099 --> 00:22:21,859 Ooh, David - 454 00:22:21,899 --> 00:22:24,339 I do have some good news... Go on. 455 00:22:24,379 --> 00:22:26,779 Charlie had a look at your cards... 456 00:22:26,819 --> 00:22:28,419 That's nice of her. Yeah! 457 00:22:28,459 --> 00:22:32,699 Well, she reckons they were specifically made 458 00:22:32,739 --> 00:22:35,499 for a 17th-century French witch 459 00:22:35,539 --> 00:22:38,739 who was done for poisoning and burnt at the stake! 460 00:22:38,779 --> 00:22:41,579 She says they're worth thousands to the right buyer! 461 00:22:41,619 --> 00:22:43,859 17th-century French witch? 462 00:22:45,499 --> 00:22:46,619 Do you mean La Voisin? 463 00:22:46,659 --> 00:22:48,659 Yeah, that's her! 464 00:22:48,699 --> 00:22:50,419 Did she say anything else? 465 00:22:50,459 --> 00:22:51,699 Well, 466 00:22:51,739 --> 00:22:53,699 she said they carry a curse, 467 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,899 but that's not your problem once you sell them, is it? 468 00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:57,059 A curse? 469 00:22:57,099 --> 00:23:01,019 Jean, it's been nothing but bad luck since I opened those cards! 470 00:23:01,059 --> 00:23:02,179 Oh, David! 471 00:23:02,219 --> 00:23:04,619 I told you! Before we left, 472 00:23:04,659 --> 00:23:07,019 that mirror nearly chopped my head off, 473 00:23:07,059 --> 00:23:08,459 and then, the bag was slashed, 474 00:23:08,499 --> 00:23:11,259 and then, somebody tried to knife me in the street! 475 00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:15,779 Look, that is all awful, love, but... 476 00:23:17,099 --> 00:23:19,259 what's that got to do with a pack of cards? 477 00:23:19,299 --> 00:23:22,939 Jean, it could have everything to do with the cards. I mean, 478 00:23:22,979 --> 00:23:24,899 that mirror had been on the wall for ten years - 479 00:23:24,939 --> 00:23:28,619 why did it fall then, at that precise moment? Exactly. 480 00:23:30,499 --> 00:23:31,939 I've just thought... 481 00:23:31,979 --> 00:23:35,739 The slash mark on your bag... 482 00:23:35,779 --> 00:23:37,779 it's in the shape of a letter V. 483 00:23:37,819 --> 00:23:41,339 'Oh! I'm getting straight on the phone to that bus company!' 484 00:23:41,379 --> 00:23:43,539 'Look, I'm sure it was an accident.' 485 00:23:43,579 --> 00:23:44,779 Yes... 486 00:23:45,979 --> 00:23:47,099 It's the witch, isn't it? 487 00:23:48,259 --> 00:23:50,059 She's trying to make me go mad. 488 00:23:50,099 --> 00:23:52,339 Oh, come on, David! 489 00:23:52,379 --> 00:23:56,739 We trade in provenance, not superstition! 490 00:23:56,779 --> 00:23:59,699 Well, our spiritual journey has opened David up somewhat. 491 00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:00,979 Sorry? 492 00:24:01,019 --> 00:24:03,219 We got married in a spiritualist church. 493 00:24:04,419 --> 00:24:07,619 Maybe that's why you're being so sensitive at the moment, 494 00:24:07,659 --> 00:24:09,499 because you're channelling... 495 00:24:09,539 --> 00:24:11,139 dark energy? Yes. 496 00:24:12,299 --> 00:24:14,099 It's the witch, isn't it? 497 00:24:14,139 --> 00:24:16,139 She's trying to communicate. 498 00:24:17,339 --> 00:24:18,659 Oh, come on! 499 00:24:18,699 --> 00:24:20,379 Curses? 500 00:24:21,779 --> 00:24:23,659 You just twisted psychology. 501 00:24:23,699 --> 00:24:29,379 Sorry? Well, seeing patterns in random events when there are none! 502 00:24:32,979 --> 00:24:34,339 I think I'LL have a brandy. 503 00:24:49,259 --> 00:24:51,259 DEEP SNORING 504 00:24:59,859 --> 00:25:01,019 PHONE ALERT 505 00:25:08,059 --> 00:25:09,579 It's her! 506 00:25:10,979 --> 00:25:12,219 It's her... 507 00:25:12,259 --> 00:25:13,419 It's her! 508 00:25:13,459 --> 00:25:14,659 Le Voisin! 509 00:25:14,699 --> 00:25:16,259 In the mirror! 510 00:25:19,139 --> 00:25:20,859 W... 511 00:25:20,899 --> 00:25:22,219 She... 512 00:25:49,179 --> 00:25:51,299 COCKEREL CROWS 513 00:25:51,339 --> 00:25:53,099 CICADAS CHIRP 514 00:25:53,139 --> 00:25:55,299 I think we should burn them to a cinder. 515 00:25:56,379 --> 00:25:59,579 Don't you think we should find out the facts before we go setting fire 516 00:25:59,619 --> 00:26:02,699 to potentially thousands of pounds? I saw her, Jean. 517 00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:05,379 Last night, in the mirror. 518 00:26:05,419 --> 00:26:06,539 She's coming to get me. 519 00:26:06,579 --> 00:26:07,899 Who is? 520 00:26:07,939 --> 00:26:09,219 Le Voisin! 521 00:26:10,539 --> 00:26:11,939 The witch. 522 00:26:13,299 --> 00:26:16,779 The facts are, Jean, she will not stop until I'm dead. 523 00:26:19,179 --> 00:26:20,459 Can I make a suggestion? 524 00:26:22,979 --> 00:26:25,219 Now, what would Oprah say? 525 00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:30,339 Oh, yeah. 526 00:26:30,379 --> 00:26:32,739 "When you don't know what to do, do nothing." 527 00:26:33,899 --> 00:26:37,219 So why don't you two do just that? 528 00:26:37,259 --> 00:26:38,579 How do you mean? 529 00:26:38,619 --> 00:26:40,779 Well, I'll go to work, 530 00:26:40,819 --> 00:26:43,699 I'll get a second opinion on the cards, 531 00:26:43,739 --> 00:26:45,619 and you just stay here, 532 00:26:45,659 --> 00:26:47,059 and relax? 533 00:26:48,859 --> 00:26:50,499 I think that's a great idea. 534 00:26:51,539 --> 00:26:52,779 Yeah. 535 00:26:52,819 --> 00:26:54,539 It is - thanks, Jean. 536 00:26:54,579 --> 00:26:56,419 That's my pleasure. 537 00:26:57,579 --> 00:26:58,979 Take those things with you. 538 00:27:00,739 --> 00:27:03,339 Help yourself to anything you want. 539 00:27:03,379 --> 00:27:05,379 And listen... 540 00:27:05,419 --> 00:27:07,379 It's me. Jean. 541 00:27:07,419 --> 00:27:08,979 I'm right here for you. 542 00:27:12,979 --> 00:27:14,419 Thanks, Jean. 543 00:27:37,979 --> 00:27:39,819 I'm just gonna go and make some calls. 544 00:27:41,539 --> 00:27:43,819 Are you OK? Yeah, yeah - fine. 545 00:27:43,859 --> 00:27:45,579 I'll make us some brunch when I'm done. 546 00:27:45,619 --> 00:27:47,779 You just stay there. Thanks, love. 547 00:28:19,019 --> 00:28:22,899 Jean, I'd like to apologise for my oversight. 548 00:28:22,939 --> 00:28:24,379 Oversight? 549 00:28:25,419 --> 00:28:26,419 Ahem... 550 00:28:27,459 --> 00:28:28,579 IN A HIGH VOICE:Jean... 551 00:28:30,099 --> 00:28:31,339 IN A DEEP VOICE:Jean... 552 00:28:34,859 --> 00:28:36,779 Please can we be friends again? 553 00:28:36,819 --> 00:28:39,099 I sound like a ten-year-old. 554 00:28:42,739 --> 00:28:44,379 I have REALLY missed you. 555 00:28:56,299 --> 00:28:57,619 HE GASPS 556 00:28:57,659 --> 00:28:59,939 BANGING 557 00:28:59,979 --> 00:29:01,299 Oi! 558 00:29:01,339 --> 00:29:01,499 PUNCH IS THROWN, Oi! 559 00:29:01,539 --> 00:29:03,019 PUNCH IS THROWN, SOMETHING CLATTERS 560 00:29:07,739 --> 00:29:10,419 Com on, Dom. 561 00:29:10,459 --> 00:29:11,819 You can do this. 562 00:29:18,459 --> 00:29:20,579 Alan? 563 00:29:20,619 --> 00:29:22,339 {\an8}You know him? That's his ex. 564 00:29:28,299 --> 00:29:30,659 Hi, I'm Dom. Jean's mate. 565 00:29:30,699 --> 00:29:33,379 Alan is behind bars, awaiting questioning. 566 00:29:33,419 --> 00:29:36,219 Soon as there's any update, Caron's gonna give us a call. 567 00:29:37,459 --> 00:29:40,499 What happened? I would never have believed this. 568 00:29:40,539 --> 00:29:43,339 But I think Alan was out to get you. 569 00:29:43,379 --> 00:29:44,819 I think he was stalking you! 570 00:29:44,859 --> 00:29:46,379 Oh, my God. 571 00:29:46,419 --> 00:29:48,579 Thanks, Dom. 572 00:29:48,619 --> 00:29:50,139 You're welcome. 573 00:29:50,179 --> 00:29:51,419 Are you all right? 574 00:29:51,459 --> 00:29:54,499 Yeah, yeah, fine. It's a good job you were here. 575 00:29:54,539 --> 00:29:56,779 Is it? FOOTSTEPS 576 00:29:59,099 --> 00:30:00,619 No offence, Jean, 577 00:30:00,659 --> 00:30:04,059 but we've given our statements and I want David out of here, now. 578 00:30:05,259 --> 00:30:07,859 Don't you think you should wait... To find out what kind of maniac 579 00:30:07,899 --> 00:30:09,779 Alan is? I think it's pretty clear. 580 00:30:10,819 --> 00:30:13,739 I have booked a hire car - it should be here any minute. 581 00:30:13,779 --> 00:30:15,899 We won't be staying. 582 00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:18,459 My partner of ten years was trying to kill me? 583 00:30:19,579 --> 00:30:21,499 WE are going to go to Marseille. 584 00:30:21,539 --> 00:30:23,379 And we are going to begin our honeymoon. 585 00:30:23,419 --> 00:30:24,699 Are you sure? 586 00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:26,059 HORN HONKS 587 00:30:26,099 --> 00:30:27,819 That'll be the hire car. 588 00:30:27,859 --> 00:30:29,059 Oh... 589 00:30:29,099 --> 00:30:32,499 Well, it's a bit sudden, but... I suppose... 590 00:30:32,539 --> 00:30:34,139 Are you ready, darling? Yeah. 591 00:30:37,179 --> 00:30:38,899 Bye, love. Bye. 592 00:30:46,499 --> 00:30:50,059 Jean, when you get this message, can you get down here? 593 00:30:51,299 --> 00:30:53,299 He says I am an oppressor of the state 594 00:30:53,339 --> 00:30:55,619 and he does not recognise my authority. 595 00:30:56,699 --> 00:30:58,259 He says he will only speak with you. 596 00:30:58,299 --> 00:31:00,219 Please hurry. 597 00:31:01,619 --> 00:31:03,779 If there's anything you need, just let me know, OK? 598 00:31:03,819 --> 00:31:05,179 Thanks, Jean. 599 00:31:05,219 --> 00:31:07,179 Love you, kid. Oh, I love you too. 600 00:31:10,179 --> 00:31:13,059 Well, it's... it's lovely to meet you. 601 00:31:14,099 --> 00:31:15,339 Look after each other, eh? 602 00:31:15,379 --> 00:31:16,659 Thanks, Jean. 603 00:31:16,699 --> 00:31:18,139 And thank you. 604 00:31:18,179 --> 00:31:19,779 Pleasure. 605 00:31:23,499 --> 00:31:25,259 CAR STARTS 606 00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:41,139 And you expect me to believe that? Yeah. 607 00:31:41,179 --> 00:31:43,539 You have to believe me if you want David to live. 608 00:31:43,579 --> 00:31:47,339 Jean, I've been following David to protect him from George! 609 00:31:47,379 --> 00:31:49,539 Why does he need protecting from George? 610 00:31:49,579 --> 00:31:50,939 When we broke up, 611 00:31:50,979 --> 00:31:54,539 I was devastated, but I left it in the hands of the universe. 612 00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:56,739 Then a friend came to me with evidence that David 613 00:31:56,779 --> 00:31:58,379 was gonna be George's third husband - 614 00:31:58,419 --> 00:32:01,939 the two previous husbands had died within months of marrying him! 615 00:32:01,979 --> 00:32:03,979 What evidence? 616 00:32:04,019 --> 00:32:06,939 The marriage and the death certificates. 617 00:32:06,979 --> 00:32:10,219 I've been watching David to protect him. 618 00:32:10,259 --> 00:32:12,579 He'd never have believed me if I'd have told him. 619 00:32:12,619 --> 00:32:14,059 He... He's changed. 620 00:32:15,379 --> 00:32:17,979 He's just completely obsessed by him. 621 00:32:19,059 --> 00:32:22,179 The morning of the wedding, George was the last one out. 622 00:32:22,219 --> 00:32:24,099 I watched him go back into the pantry, 623 00:32:24,139 --> 00:32:25,699 and tamper with the mirror. 624 00:32:25,739 --> 00:32:28,659 He balanced the mirror right on the edge of the door. 625 00:32:28,699 --> 00:32:31,059 I knew that was meant for David and David alone. 626 00:32:33,219 --> 00:32:35,459 David was the first one into the pantry when they got back. 627 00:32:36,659 --> 00:32:38,459 To save him, I didn't know what to do - 628 00:32:38,499 --> 00:32:40,739 I just started banging on the window, and that was enough 629 00:32:40,779 --> 00:32:43,259 to stop him from walking underneath the mirror. 630 00:32:43,299 --> 00:32:44,459 SMASH 631 00:32:46,379 --> 00:32:49,459 When I got here, I hired a bike and I followed them. 632 00:32:50,939 --> 00:32:53,499 I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I knew something would. 633 00:32:54,539 --> 00:32:56,219 Sure enough, it did. 634 00:32:56,259 --> 00:32:59,139 George must have paid that thug to knife David, 635 00:32:59,179 --> 00:33:01,059 so I knocked him to the ground. 636 00:33:05,139 --> 00:33:06,779 OTHER MAN SHOUTS 637 00:33:08,299 --> 00:33:09,619 And the cushion? 638 00:33:09,659 --> 00:33:10,859 MUFFLED CRIES 639 00:33:10,899 --> 00:33:12,659 'I was watching through the patio window, 640 00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,779 'and George went behind David with the cushion. 641 00:33:15,819 --> 00:33:18,339 'I forced my way in and punched him in the face!' 642 00:33:18,379 --> 00:33:20,179 Eurgh! 643 00:33:21,619 --> 00:33:23,539 If all this is true, 644 00:33:23,579 --> 00:33:27,539 why didn't you just tell David that George was trying to kill him? 645 00:33:27,579 --> 00:33:29,539 Because he would never have believed me! 646 00:33:29,579 --> 00:33:31,459 George has been gaslighting him! 647 00:33:32,619 --> 00:33:33,619 Well... 648 00:33:34,699 --> 00:33:36,939 ..he's certainly not been himself lately. 649 00:33:38,899 --> 00:33:40,139 Come on, Jean. 650 00:33:41,259 --> 00:33:44,779 Two weddings and the corresponding death certificates within months? 651 00:33:44,819 --> 00:33:48,299 I'm telling you, David is in grave danger! 652 00:33:48,339 --> 00:33:50,019 I believe you. 653 00:33:51,739 --> 00:33:53,259 Caron? 654 00:33:54,219 --> 00:33:56,379 Did you hear all that? Oui. 655 00:33:58,139 --> 00:34:00,699 We need to find David - now. 656 00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:02,659 They're on their way to Marseille. 657 00:34:02,699 --> 00:34:04,819 There are two roads to Marseille. 658 00:34:13,539 --> 00:34:16,499 Dom... I need your help. 659 00:34:17,739 --> 00:34:20,459 Why are we stopping here? You know I've got vertigo. 660 00:34:20,499 --> 00:34:22,779 You were feeling carsick because you haven't eaten. 661 00:34:22,819 --> 00:34:26,339 You know what you're like on an empty stomach. I can't eat. 662 00:34:28,299 --> 00:34:30,139 You need to pull yourself together. 663 00:34:30,179 --> 00:34:33,539 I'm sorry. I'm still in shock. 664 00:34:33,579 --> 00:34:35,739 Alan trying to kill me? 665 00:34:35,779 --> 00:34:37,659 Those cursed cards? 666 00:34:37,699 --> 00:34:39,979 We'll flog them in Marseille, get rid of them. 667 00:34:40,019 --> 00:34:41,699 Hopefully, they'll make thousands. 668 00:34:43,659 --> 00:34:46,339 Fancy us thinking that those cards were cursed, 669 00:34:46,379 --> 00:34:48,379 when it was Alan trying to kill you. 670 00:34:48,419 --> 00:34:50,539 I still think the cards are cursed. 671 00:34:54,019 --> 00:34:56,299 You know you sound mad? Eh? 672 00:34:56,339 --> 00:34:58,059 Seeing ghosts, 673 00:34:58,099 --> 00:34:59,499 cursed cards. 674 00:34:59,539 --> 00:35:01,099 You sound like a child. 675 00:35:01,139 --> 00:35:02,419 George? 676 00:35:05,139 --> 00:35:08,139 Put that thing away, you know I can't stand opals. 677 00:35:10,699 --> 00:35:14,619 George, if this is meant to be kinky, it's not doing it for me. 678 00:35:15,859 --> 00:35:17,099 Always the joker. 679 00:35:18,259 --> 00:35:19,299 Get up. 680 00:35:19,339 --> 00:35:20,539 George? 681 00:35:20,579 --> 00:35:21,699 Get up! 682 00:35:31,819 --> 00:35:33,139 By the way, I'm desperate. 683 00:35:33,179 --> 00:35:34,939 You're not forgiven yet. 684 00:35:34,979 --> 00:35:36,379 Thanks for your help, Dom. 685 00:35:37,939 --> 00:35:39,899 I knew there was something dodgy about him 686 00:35:39,939 --> 00:35:42,779 when he didn't know what wine I'd bought them in La Couronne. 687 00:35:42,819 --> 00:35:45,099 Top wine expert, my foot. 688 00:35:46,499 --> 00:35:48,979 So, he gets these fellas, 689 00:35:49,019 --> 00:35:50,979 marries them, and then bumps them off? 690 00:35:51,019 --> 00:35:54,299 I know, it's hideous. But he moves around so much, 691 00:35:54,339 --> 00:35:58,019 they just can't pin anything on him. Blimey. 692 00:35:58,059 --> 00:36:00,059 That's a bold career choice, innit? 693 00:36:04,779 --> 00:36:06,499 Just move that wing mirror for us, Jean? 694 00:36:08,859 --> 00:36:10,299 SHE GASPS 695 00:36:10,339 --> 00:36:12,219 That's how he did it! 696 00:36:12,259 --> 00:36:13,619 Did what? 697 00:36:13,659 --> 00:36:17,979 Made the infamous La Voisin appear in my spare bedroom mirror. 698 00:36:18,019 --> 00:36:21,979 I'd put a black shawl on top of the dresser to hide a heat mark. 699 00:36:22,019 --> 00:36:25,619 Ironically, you can't get a decent French polisher over here. 700 00:36:25,659 --> 00:36:28,219 You can't move for them in Stockport. Yeah, go on. 701 00:36:28,259 --> 00:36:31,059 Anyway, I found the shawl under one of the pillows 702 00:36:31,099 --> 00:36:33,579 when I was making their bed up this morning. 703 00:36:33,619 --> 00:36:37,219 He must have precisely positioned the mirror, 704 00:36:37,259 --> 00:36:39,939 put the shawl on, looked into the mirror, 705 00:36:39,979 --> 00:36:44,179 woke David up, scared him to death, then pretended to wake up himself 706 00:36:44,219 --> 00:36:46,139 to comfort him. SHE GASPS 707 00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:48,579 You better put your foot down. 708 00:36:48,619 --> 00:36:50,819 BOTH:It won't make any difference. 709 00:36:50,859 --> 00:36:52,619 It's only got one speed, this. 710 00:36:56,979 --> 00:36:58,379 YOUR cards? 711 00:36:58,419 --> 00:37:00,419 But why? 712 00:37:00,459 --> 00:37:01,539 To send you mad. 713 00:37:01,579 --> 00:37:03,019 Send me mad? 714 00:37:03,059 --> 00:37:04,779 What are you talking about? 715 00:37:04,819 --> 00:37:06,659 The cards, the mirror. 716 00:37:06,699 --> 00:37:07,899 The luggage. 717 00:37:10,219 --> 00:37:11,259 It was all me. 718 00:37:12,899 --> 00:37:15,499 Do you know, you will be my third husband... 719 00:37:15,539 --> 00:37:16,939 deceased. 720 00:37:16,979 --> 00:37:18,299 Third husband? 721 00:37:19,619 --> 00:37:20,859 George, what...? 722 00:37:20,899 --> 00:37:22,379 Please... 723 00:37:22,419 --> 00:37:24,619 I've already found my fourth - over here, actually. 724 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:26,259 You've got to move around. 725 00:37:26,299 --> 00:37:28,299 It really is all too easy. 726 00:37:28,339 --> 00:37:29,779 I thought we were in love... 727 00:37:31,139 --> 00:37:32,739 You made me leave Alan. 728 00:37:33,819 --> 00:37:35,939 I changed my life for you. 729 00:37:35,979 --> 00:37:37,539 Yes - and thank you for that, but... 730 00:37:37,579 --> 00:37:39,259 Now, you're just a mad old man 731 00:37:39,299 --> 00:37:40,579 with vertigo. 732 00:37:41,979 --> 00:37:45,379 AFFECTED EMOTION:"I tried to save David, but... 733 00:37:45,419 --> 00:37:47,579 "the vertigo just got too much for him. 734 00:37:47,619 --> 00:37:50,459 "I think it was all the stress that Alan put him under." 735 00:37:50,499 --> 00:37:51,779 DEADPAN:It really is too easy. 736 00:37:53,299 --> 00:37:54,739 George... 737 00:37:54,779 --> 00:37:56,139 Please, 738 00:37:56,179 --> 00:37:57,619 don't do this. 739 00:37:57,659 --> 00:38:00,259 Please, I'm begging you! 740 00:38:00,299 --> 00:38:01,979 Your pleading's getting boring now. 741 00:38:02,019 --> 00:38:03,219 One more step. 742 00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:06,539 George, no! 743 00:38:09,779 --> 00:38:11,939 Nobody calls me boring! 744 00:38:11,979 --> 00:38:13,179 SIREN BLARES 745 00:38:13,219 --> 00:38:14,499 Oh! 746 00:38:34,859 --> 00:38:36,339 TAPS CAR ROOF TWICE 747 00:39:31,299 --> 00:39:32,859 Blimey. 748 00:39:32,899 --> 00:39:35,059 They've got a lot to talk about, haven't they? 749 00:39:35,099 --> 00:39:36,659 Yeah. 750 00:39:36,699 --> 00:39:38,179 Yes, they have. 751 00:39:43,019 --> 00:39:44,779 I knew it wasn't you. 752 00:39:44,819 --> 00:39:45,979 Liar! 753 00:39:46,019 --> 00:39:47,659 THEY LAUGH 754 00:39:47,699 --> 00:39:49,539 We had some great times, didn't we? 755 00:39:50,699 --> 00:39:53,779 Do you remember when we found that Andy Warhol painting 756 00:39:53,819 --> 00:39:55,099 in my auntie Deedee's garage? 757 00:39:55,139 --> 00:39:56,379 How could I forget? 758 00:39:56,419 --> 00:39:58,579 You took it to Sotheby's in a bin bag 759 00:39:58,619 --> 00:40:00,219 and sold it for six grand! 760 00:40:01,459 --> 00:40:03,459 She moved to San Francisco last week. 761 00:40:03,499 --> 00:40:04,819 Said she was never the same 762 00:40:04,859 --> 00:40:07,419 after you lent her that copy of Tales Of The City. 763 00:40:07,459 --> 00:40:10,379 She's 89 with one lung and half a hip - who insured her? 764 00:40:10,419 --> 00:40:12,259 No insurance! 765 00:40:12,299 --> 00:40:15,619 She stuck two fingers up to the system and did what she wanted. 766 00:40:15,659 --> 00:40:17,379 Just like you. 767 00:40:19,179 --> 00:40:21,179 We've both changed, haven't we? 768 00:40:21,219 --> 00:40:22,459 Yeah. 769 00:40:22,499 --> 00:40:27,019 The bloke I met was first in the queue for chips, curry and rice. 770 00:40:27,059 --> 00:40:28,779 That's certainly not me any more. 771 00:40:28,819 --> 00:40:30,459 No. 772 00:40:31,979 --> 00:40:33,619 Thanks for looking out for me, Alan. 773 00:40:34,899 --> 00:40:35,939 For being there. 774 00:40:37,019 --> 00:40:40,339 I just wish you'd told me. And would you have believed me? 775 00:40:40,379 --> 00:40:41,499 No! 776 00:40:42,819 --> 00:40:44,739 I can't half pick 'em, can't I? 777 00:40:44,779 --> 00:40:48,779 The love of my life ends up loving broccoli more than me, 778 00:40:48,819 --> 00:40:51,819 so I marry the first psycho I clap my eyes on. 779 00:40:51,859 --> 00:40:53,179 THEY LAUGH 780 00:40:56,699 --> 00:40:58,179 I hear you made up with Glo. 781 00:40:58,219 --> 00:41:00,099 Didn't know we'd fallen out. 782 00:41:00,139 --> 00:41:03,499 She said that you weren't answering her calls or her texts. Yeah... 783 00:41:03,539 --> 00:41:04,979 Well, I was a little bit gutted 784 00:41:05,019 --> 00:41:07,179 she didn't mention that taxi driver thing. 785 00:41:07,219 --> 00:41:10,179 Well, she didn't know he was one before he asked her out. 786 00:41:10,219 --> 00:41:11,659 Yeah, that's what she said. 787 00:41:12,859 --> 00:41:15,819 And even if she did, would it have made a difference? 788 00:41:17,219 --> 00:41:18,779 Mm, I don't know. 789 00:41:18,819 --> 00:41:20,099 I'm just a little bit worried 790 00:41:20,139 --> 00:41:22,139 this town ain't big enough for the both of us. 791 00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:23,739 SHE SNORTS 792 00:41:23,779 --> 00:41:26,099 Yes, yes, I know, that makes me sound like I'm in a western. 793 00:41:26,139 --> 00:41:27,699 It's funny, that - 794 00:41:27,739 --> 00:41:29,259 so does Cooper! 795 00:41:29,299 --> 00:41:32,699 Because he's actually American. See? I told you he was a cowboy! 796 00:41:34,419 --> 00:41:37,259 Dom... thanks for today. 797 00:41:37,299 --> 00:41:39,659 You were a proper superhero. 798 00:41:40,859 --> 00:41:43,699 Listen, Jean... The reason I came round... Yeah, 799 00:41:43,739 --> 00:41:45,899 why were you round when you caught Alan? 800 00:41:45,939 --> 00:41:47,019 Well, I... 801 00:41:47,059 --> 00:41:49,499 Look, I just wanted to say how deeply sorry I am 802 00:41:49,539 --> 00:41:50,939 for betraying your trust. 803 00:41:50,979 --> 00:41:53,139 Don't... No, no - Jean... 804 00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:55,059 Please. Let me finish. 805 00:41:56,379 --> 00:41:58,619 I've proper missed you and I'm dead mad at myself. 806 00:42:01,659 --> 00:42:02,979 Come here. 807 00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:17,619 DOOR OPENS 808 00:42:17,659 --> 00:42:19,539 Bonjour, Simone. 809 00:42:19,579 --> 00:42:21,379 DOOR SLAMS