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'Live from his penthouse apartment
in London's glittering East End,

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'Dean Learner, club owner and publisher
of high-class gentlemen's magazines,

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'invites you to join him
for an exclusive Man to Man.'

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'Please welcome Mr Dean Learner!'

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Thank you. A thousand thank-yous.

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Welcome to a very special
musical edition of Man to Man.

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It's such a one-off that Satu's
been temporarily allowed on the sofa

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and has been allowed to remove her tail -
again, on a temporary basis.

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The tail on her costume.
She's not a lizard. That wouldn't work.

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Before we kick off proper,
I've got a couple of bits of AOB.

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AOB uno is that
I'd like to extend a hand of thank

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to all of you who've been so kind
throughout my recent difficulties.

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Now, I have been involved in a court case,
but sanity prevailed

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and a verdict of "accidental death”
was recorded.

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AOB deux. There's a promotion
at Chez Deano's, my restaurant.

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We're offering £3 off any whitebait meal

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when you order
two or more bottles of champagne.

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Get on down to Chez Deano's
and have yourselves a salty treat!

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The usual discounts still apply
for female under-21 twins.

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There's a saying, "There's nowt
so queer as folk." I agree - it's bad music.

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Or so I thought until I met this evening's guest.

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He opened my eyes and my ears

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to this wonderful treasure trove
of copyright-free melody.

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One of the most revered folk guitarists -
the legend Mr Merriman Weir.

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You can edit some of this out,
can't you?

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We'll probably need to keep it in
for running time, to be honest.

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This is a welcome song.

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Fire...

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Sorry, I shouldn't have put the capo on.

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I shouldn't have put the capo on.
I usually sing this without a capo.

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I could probably take it off
but it'd bugger up the tuning.

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I'll sing it that high.
I'll sing it that high.

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OK, this is a welcome song.

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Fire is bright, end of day

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Sit ye down on a bed of hay

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Meat in the pot and open the door

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Come drink my wine
But don't ask for more

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Cos that's all I could store

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The harvest's been poor

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And I've buried four

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Children

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Children, children
Oooh.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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That was called Welcome Woman,
To My Table Come.

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I apologise if you're a man
and felt left out.

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I wrote it with a woman in mind,
but it could be sung to a male companion,

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perhaps a passing trapper

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or a king disguised in peasant's clothing

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or maybe a gay admirer
from a neighbouring field

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who decided to move in now that
the man's immediate family are dead.

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Take your pick. I judge not.

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There are two more verses
but they're far too depressing to play here.

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You have to be careful
when you play sad songs

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because, in the wrong hands,
ballads can kill.

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I once played a song so sad
I made a flock of geese die.

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I was singing a lament for them
as they flew south overhead.

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Without thinking, I went from A...

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...to E minor.

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Then back to A, and then surprised myself
with an E minor 9.

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Before I knew it,
they'd nose-dived into a frozen lake.

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In perfect formation,
that was the shocking part.

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I wrote this for a friend who was struck down
with a terminal illness in the late '90s.

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It was a bit of a race
to get this one finished but, um...

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God willing, I got it ready
to play to him on his death bed.

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Sadly, at that point, he died.

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So he never got to hear the full version.

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Which is probably a good thing,

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as it was more of a critique
than a celebration, really.

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This next song's about lost love.

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Literally a lost love. She went missing
in a garden maze one May Day past.

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It was one I designed, actually, during
a particularly self-destructive period of my life.

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It had man traps.

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It's called Loving You.

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I recorded the original completely drunk

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and I'm afraid
that's the only version I remember.

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Oooh!

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Oo-oo-ooh

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Oooh

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Loving you

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Oooh

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Ooooh oo-ooh

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<i>Oooh, loving you</i>

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Ooo-oo-oo-ooh

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Ooo-oo-ooh

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Oo-ooh, loving you

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Loving you

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<i>Loving you, oo-ooh</i>

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Oooh!

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Oooh!

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Thank you. Thank you very much.

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Actually, sorry. I shouldn't really
be practising. Sorry.

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No. That's your call, Merriman.
You're an artist.

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Set ended slightly sooner than I'd expected.

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Shall I come over for the talk now?

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It's barely worth it. We've only got
a minute before the break, so...

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This is awkward.

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Um...

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I've got nothing for this. Nothing.

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I could catch up on some admin, but
it doesn't really seem the appropriate time.

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I tell you what, could we break now
and have a longer second half?

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This is dead time. That's clear.

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OK. Right...

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Not yet!

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After the break, Merriman
will join me for a conflab on the couch.

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Now.

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Good evening and bien kommen
back to Man to Man.

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Satu's behind the bar and I'm joined
by legendary folk guitarist Merriman Weir.

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Thank you.

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I loved the set.

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Thank you very much.

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I love folk music. I love it, love it, love it.

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Who else do you like?

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Who I like, other than yourself,
I'd have to say David Gray.

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- Have you heard of him?
- No.

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Really good, mellow stuff.

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I wouldn't put him on in the car
cos I find myself drifting off.

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I daren't overtake cos I'm liable
to just give up halfway through.

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You are one of...

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Do you mind canning the twang?

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- What? Not play?
- Yeah.

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It's becoming a bit of a barrier.

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OK, I'll put it on the stand.

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You're watching Man to Man

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with my special guest Merriman Weir.

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Sorry, I can't actually rush.

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I've got a pacemaker,
which is quite temperamental.

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I came back from a festival
last year, it was stuck on samba.

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I understand. Now, Merriman.

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Merriman. Merriman Weir.
It's an interesting name.

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It's not your first name, though.

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No, I started off
as Heather Buck Hare Bredder.

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I did one album as Tristan Woeman,

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which was an album
of medieval ploughing ballads.

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Actually, when I tour some parts of
the country, I'm still known as...

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You were huge in the '70s.
"Folk" huge. You weren't popular.

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You were "respected".

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Since then, it's been a rather sorry tale
of hitching, dossing,

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Since then, it's been a rather sorry tale
of hitching, dossing,

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busking on the Underground and guitar tuition.

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What went wrong?

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Nothing went wrong, actually.
I've never been interested in making it.

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Clearly.

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I just play music.
I don't really care about money.

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That's why I was so pleased
to become your manager.

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Under the Dean Learner
30-year management agreement,

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Merriman is guaranteed a weekly wage,

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minus expenses and postage,
which means he doesn't have to worry

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about royalties and publishing,
rights and all of that boring stuff.

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I hold all those things on trust for him
via Deano's Records and their shareholders.

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You've even got enough
for the odd flagon of mead.

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Thank you.

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I'm intolerably excited.

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We stand on the crest of the re-release
of your seminal album, Gallows Man.

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Yeah.

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Sorry to interrupt... me. I'm interrupting myself
now! What is a seminal album?

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Does that mean...? Is that spermy?

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Is that a spermy album?

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Because that would fit into
the whole theme of Gallows Man.

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Apparently, when you're hanged,
you get a reminder of the good life!

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I've seen a lot of corpses online.

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It is sick. It is sick, the internet.

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You just type in "corpses plus boners"
into Google.

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You'll get an absolute eyeful.

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I was so depressed
I took the rest of the day off.

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It really got me down, actually.

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Sorry. Oh, yes. Your album,
the re-release thereof.

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It's a bit misleading to call it a re-release.

168
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The original was a non-release.
It sold eight copies.

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The cover is quite striking. It's you on a hilltop.

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That's Hampstead Heath.

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- And you're hanging...
- From a rope from a tree, yeah.

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Inside, there's you...

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- In a gibbet.
- ..In a gibbet,

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trussed up like a yuletide goose
with children standing round.

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Do you think that
might have affected album sales?

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It's possible, although I blame the production.

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Who produced it?

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I did. I wanted a rural feel
to the album.

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I insisted on recording it in my garden,
which backed onto the A12.

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Most of the album's interrupted by traffic.

181
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In fact, halfway through side two,
you can hear a major accident.

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One track's just honking.

183
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Has that been removed
by the re-mastering process?

184
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No. If anything, it's louder.

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We are fortunate because
we've tracked down an archive clip

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of Merriman performing the title track.

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Let's take a look.

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At eight o'clock,
Me true love said

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00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,751
A cock will crow in my barn hay

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To her with pack from battle back
I journeyed home for many a day

191
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At nine o'clock she me forsook
And docked my cousin in her brook

192
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,916
I swiped me pistols from me pack

193
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,073
And told him I sought satisfac... tion

194
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:10,591
At ten o'clock we took our stand
And wrathful did I strike the band

195
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:16,437
At battle's drum me cousin called
I'll have your bits on pistol balls

196
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:27,838
Eleven devils rang the bell
The day I shot that whore to hell

197
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:33,438
Her leering prince, I blew him too
And bade his dogs "Come form a queue"

198
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:45,591
At 12 o'clock, the judge he said
Ye hang, ye bastard, till ye dead

199
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:50,038
So traveller hear me warn in plain
Don't shoot four people in the brain.

200
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,316
See what I mean?

201
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,513
You can just hear a tiny bit of traffic.

202
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,240
I couldn't hear a thing, Merriman.

203
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,109
Then again, I can barely hear. I've got tinnitus.

204
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,953
Like a constant buzzing. "Eeeee"!

205
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,634
It sounds less sarcastic than that.

206
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:30,112
Which I got, ironically,
at a Def Leppard concert.

207
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:35,274
I went backstage and said, "I went deaf
at your Def Leppard concert!"

208
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:40,036
They said "It's spelled D-E-F."
I said "Come on! Give me something!"

209
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,397
Where do these soft rock bell ends get off?

210
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,154
How did they come up with that name?

211
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,870
"We want a name that denotes
sleekness and power.

212
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,078
"We should name ourselves after a wild cat.

213
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:59,509
"We've also got a sensitive side,
we should give this wild cat a disability.

214
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,434
"What about Rheumatic Panther?
I'm not so sure.

215
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,079
"How about a hearing impediment?

216
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:11,475
"Deaf Leppard? But remove one of
the vowels or it'd be a stupid name!"

217
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:16,316
Do you know how they spell Leopard?

218
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,877
Benders!

219
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,793
That said, let's get back to your album,

220
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:34,238
which has a very interesting
recording history behind it.

221
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:39,156
Yeah. It's basically referred to
as my post-accident album.

222
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:43,518
It comes from an event that happened
as I was travelling home

223
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,114
from the Cambridge Folk Festival.

224
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,350
It was very late at night.

225
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:55,198
I was driving on the motorway with Sally,
my girlfriend at the time, she sang bass.

226
00:19:55,280 --> 00:20:01,834
We were driving along very late at night.
I was growing tireder at the wheel.

227
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,675
So I pulled over into the lay-by
to make a baby.

228
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,196
And we wound down the window...

229
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,840
- Let her legs out!
- Yup.

230
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,355
And we were dragged
from the car and lynched.

231
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,556
Lynched? Who by?

232
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,950
Folk fans.

233
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,431
With fans like that,
who needs enemies?

234
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,876
You don't. They're the bloody enemies.

235
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,997
The fans would be.

236
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,869
It was actually quite serious.

237
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,679
I am sorry.

238
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,390
They hung us from a tree by my guitar strings.

239
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,678
That incident led to my break-up with Sally.

240
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,195
She didn't think
I'd handled the situation very well.

241
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,918
Right. How come?

242
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:59,155
They were hanging her and the strings
snapped so I recommended a heavier gauge.

243
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,436
You just tried to be helpful.

244
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,150
Now, under the Dean Learner
30-year management agreement,

245
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,392
- you have to do 800 gigs a year.
- Yeah.

246
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:14,749
So we have created a Man to Man
overnight bag. You've got everything you need.

247
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:19,550
A twin pack of Gobblers jumbo rubbers,
toothpicks, mouthwash,

248
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:23,713
lube, talc, toilet paper,
cuff links, baby lotion,

249
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:28,715
Fishermen's Friends, shoe polish,
rope, gaffer tape, disinfectant,

250
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,350
and a mini champagne bottle and ice bucket.

251
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,353
We've even chucked in
a packet of guitar strings.

252
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,590
Not heavy gauge?

253
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,717
I think they're normal.

254
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,552
- I meant, you know...
- What?

255
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,075
- I was just making a light joke.
- Right.

256
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,278
- What?
- I usually play light gauge.

257
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,476
They're not heavy gauge
in case I get hung by them!

258
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:54,680
Right! Yeah. Sorry. No. That is funny.
I should have laughed.

259
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,910
Yeah. OK.

260
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:01,915
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll laugh now and we'll cut it in later.

261
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,593
You don't have to, seriously.

262
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,638
It's the least I can do. OK.

263
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,350
Heavy gauge! What are you like? Stop it!

264
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:24,952
Pick up the Gallows Man album -
one of the best releases of the year. A joy!

265
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:29,910
I know a thing or two
about a pleasurable release!

266
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,915
It's got a nice new cover.
I think we can see that.

267
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,674
That just about wraps up the show.

268
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:42,914
Thanks to my super guest, Merriman Weir,
for talking to me, Man to Man.

269
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,832
Thank you very much.

270
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,480
And to thank you very much.
Thank you very much.

271
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,951
We'll play out with the final track
from Gallows Man.

272
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,474
Where are you going?

273
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:03,318
Please welcome, once again,
Mr Merriman Weir.

274
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:09,149
The concept of Gallows Man
was quite a simple one.

275
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:14,269
I wanted the record to be played continuously
until the listener's death by suicide.

276
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:18,558
The record company wouldn't let me
put that on the sleeve note,

277
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,280
for space reasons, more than anything.

278
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:25,991
This is from the second side,
a song called Die Die.

279
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,031
Die die

280
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,077
Di-da-dum die die

281
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,992
Die die

282
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,071
Di-da-dum die die

283
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,071
Die die

284
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,356
Di-da-dum die die

285
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,317
Die

286
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,152
Die

287
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,197
Do-die-do-dum

288
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,317
Di-da-dum die die

289
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,799
Do-die-do-dum

290
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,076
Ski-da-dum die die

291
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,719
Do-die-do-dum

292
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,314
Di-da-dum die die

293
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,959
Die

294
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:00,996
Die

295
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,874
Wss-ktch, wss-ktch

296
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,712
Kill yourself.

297
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,120
Thank you.

298
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,315
Thank you very much.