1
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:05,816
Come with us now
on a journey through time and space...

2
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,213
...to the world of The Mighty Boosh.

3
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:14,095
♪ The Mighty Boosh
♪ Come with us to the Mighty Boosh

4
00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:19,096
♪ The Mighty Boosh
♪ Come with us to the Mighty Boosh ♪

5
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,772
(SIREN WAILING)

6
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:29,975
-All right.
-How did the gig go?

7
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:32,216
Oh, one of the best we've ever done, I reckon.

8
00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:34,092
-Genius.
-Should have seen this guy.

9
00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:36,973
Throwing shapes left, right and centre.
Never seen its equal.

10
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:40,729
Howard was on fire.
He was improvising like a mother bitch.

11
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,452
The crowd was going wild, Naboo.

12
00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:45,299
At one point I got out a bassoon.
I've never even played one before.

13
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,370
-What's going on?
-It's probably just some kids mucking about.

14
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,730
-HOWARD: Yeah.
-There's one of your flyers attached.

15
00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:53,532
There was one or two people at the gig

16
00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:56,379
who didn't quite get into the spirit of things,
wasn't there?

17
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:58,411
There's 500 people out there.

18
00:00:58,540 --> 00:01:00,371
-Is there?
-You'd better get out of here.

19
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,650
Okay, well, we'll see you in a couple of days.

20
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,213
You'd better make it a week.

21
00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:05,375
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

22
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,818
That was the worst gig in the history of music.

23
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,977
It wasn't that bad.
They just weren't ready for us, Vince.

24
00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:17,770
Do you think we'll ever be allowed
back into the city?

25
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:20,175
Of course we will. We're pioneers.

26
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,689
Give them a bit of time to catch up
with what we're about,

27
00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:23,969
then they'll welcome us back.

28
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,294
Have you seen this review?

29
00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:29,049
Vince, we do not need the words
of reviewers to tell us what we're about.

30
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:32,098
Well, that's lucky,
'cause there's no words in this one.

31
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,859
It's just a picture of some sick
with our names underneath it.

32
00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:37,050
They weren't ready
for what we were trying to do, Vince.

33
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,011
Let's just leave it there, let's move on.

34
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,928
Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that.
What exactly were you trying to do?

35
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:45,176
I was on fire, Vince, that's all you need to know.

36
00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:48,849
On fire? You were leaping around
with a bassoon sellotaped to your head.

37
00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:51,699
Yes, sir. That's the way I move.

38
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,129
When the hoodoo trance takes me,
that's the way I go.

39
00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,296
-The hoodoo trance?
-Yeah, I was out there.

40
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,058
You looked like a jazz dalek.

41
00:01:58,180 --> 00:02:00,330
I didn't know what I was doing, but it felt good.

42
00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:02,735
Well, I don't know what it was either,
but I saw the crowd.

43
00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:04,851
It was freaking people out.

44
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:07,699
A little too sexual perhaps. A little too sensual.

45
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:11,051
I've heard that before,
that my moves can be a bit too ripe for some.

46
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:14,570
Too ripe? It was like a supply teacher
at a drum and bass convention.

47
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:15,735
What?

48
00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:18,693
I don't know how to tell you this, Howard,
but you're a bit white.

49
00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,338
Who are you? Wesley Snipes?

50
00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:31,977
(ANIMATED CHATTER)

51
00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:13,419
I'll deal with this.

52
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:15,576
-Good evening, squire.
-What do you want?

53
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,296
I'll have a Flirtini, please.

54
00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:20,214
What?

55
00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:24,015
It's a kind of champagne cocktail
with pineapple in it and a little twist of lime.

56
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:25,971
You London types.

57
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:29,934
Coming up here with your balls all shiny.
Think you own the place.

58
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,739
Well, you don't own this place. Jeff does.

59
00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:35,055
There'll be no Flirtinis here.

60
00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:38,889
You'll drink what Jeff drinks,
a simple, honest fisherman's drink.

61
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,091
Great, we'll have a couple of those then, thanks.

62
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,699
Two maggot ciders.

63
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:50,696
-I'm a little bit peckish. Have you got any olives?
-No.

64
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:52,139
-Hummus?
-No.

65
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:54,216
-Stuffed vine leaves?
-No.

66
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,657
-Do you have any crudités at all?
-You'll eat what Jeff eats.

67
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,374
A simple curry with
a couple of naan bread on the side.

68
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,819
-Garlic naan?
-Aye.

69
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:03,896
Great. Well, we'll be over here.

70
00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:05,612
Two maggot bhunas.

71
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:10,053
It's a bit weird in here, isn't it?

72
00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:12,093
Not weird. Just different.

73
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:15,451
You know, you got to get used to it.
You've got to lose your city eyes and adapt.

74
00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:17,093
This place could be good for us, you know.

75
00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:18,858
Get out of town, recharge our batteries,

76
00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:21,540
have some new ideas,
maybe even write a couple of new songs, eh?

77
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:27,052
Pardon me, I couldn't help overhearing.
You two creative types?

78
00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:29,091
We're in a band. Who are you?

79
00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:31,609
-I'm Ramsey.
-Ramsey. Howard Moon.

80
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:34,933
I love your hair. What's that about?

81
00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:36,971
It's your basic backcombed structure.

82
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,409
Slightly root boosted framing a cheeky fringe.

83
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:40,814
Nice.

84
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:42,692
Two bhunas with garlic naan.

85
00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:43,889
Colin.

86
00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:45,738
-Ramsey.
-What do you do?

87
00:04:45,860 --> 00:04:47,737
I'm a local artist.

88
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:50,579
I put shells on things. You know, like cups

89
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,691
and telephone books,

90
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:54,458
and shoes.

91
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:56,889
-Cool.
-There's not too much money in it, though.

92
00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:59,409
-Really?
-So what are you two doing out here?

93
00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:01,735
Well, we hit a bit of a creative block there,
back in London,

94
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:04,772
so we thought we'd take a break
from the music scene and head out here.

95
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,174
Chill out, you know, kick back.

96
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,336
Whenever I hit a creative drought,

97
00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:10,735
I go fishing out on Black Lake.

98
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,533
-Yeah?
-Yeah, with the wind in your hair

99
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:17,414
and the water flowing. It's perfect for inspiration.

100
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:20,100
That sounds great. We could do that tomorrow.

101
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:24,008
Let me let you in on a little secret. Gather round.

102
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:26,051
Not you, naan bread.

103
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:29,536
The best time to go out on Black Lake
is right now.

104
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,491
When the moon is full.

105
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:34,976
You and your lady friend can have
a special time together.

106
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,978
I'll even give you a discount. €40.

107
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,328
It's a deal.

108
00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:44,011
The boat's tied outside on the jetty.
Listen, I've got to go, the wife's here.

109
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:45,893
Ramsey?

110
00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:48,409
I'm coming, Matilda. Bye.

111
00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:54,215
HOWARD: This is more like it.

112
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:55,659
(INHALING DEEPLY)

113
00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:58,977
I think that Ramsey guy was right, you know.
I'm feeling myself unwind out here.

114
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:01,534
Feeling my batteries start to recharge.

115
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:03,969
Yeah, I love fishing.

116
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:07,576
Don't get your expectations up though, Vince.

117
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:11,215
It took me three months of solid fishing
before I even caught my first fish.

118
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:13,729
It's all about relaxing and letting go.

119
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,536
Sorry, what were you saying?

120
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:20,572
It's about patience, you know,
and getting into that Zen state,

121
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,214
wherein, the catching of a fish is unimportant.

122
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,739
(FISHING REEL WHIRRING)

123
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,131
Are you sure you've never been fishing before?

124
00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:33,371
No, it's great. It's really easy.

125
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:37,410
-What are you using as bait?
-Well, I was using these signed press shots.

126
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:39,690
But, you know, I've given up on bait now.

127
00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:41,890
It's ridiculous,
they're just throwing themselves at me.

128
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:43,738
Watch this. Come on.

129
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:47,449
And you.

130
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,809
The thing you don't understand about fishing,
Vince, right...

131
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:52,612
is it's not actually about catching fish.

132
00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:54,776
-I think it is.
-That's a common mistake.

133
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,697
It's about everything else except that.

134
00:06:56,820 --> 00:07:00,529
It's about the ebb and flow of life,
the dancing wheel of chance.

135
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,969
That's not fishing, that's just thinking about stuff.

136
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,897
Yeah, well, anyone can catch a fish, Vince.

137
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:06,294
Apart from you.

138
00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:08,536
Well, it's early days yet, yeah? We'll see.

139
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:22,016
♪ He's so bright and milky white

140
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:26,772
♪ Shining down upon the ground

141
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:30,976
♪ He's so bright, milky white

142
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:35,452
♪ Shining down upon the ground

143
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,292
♪ Everybody look at the moon

144
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,052
♪ Everybody seeing the moon

145
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:42,855
♪ The moon is bright, he's milky white
Everybody look at the moon ♪

146
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:44,454
Hey!

147
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,612
I did a song.

148
00:07:46,740 --> 00:07:50,335
Jupiter, I did a song. You ain't got one.

149
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:53,572
(LAUGHING) Yeah!

150
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,338
Oh, I feel sick.

151
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,295
-VINCE: I'm bored.
-What do you mean, you're bored?

152
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:03,969
-Haven't you caught anything yet?
-No, I haven't.

153
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,250
I'm not leaving this lake
until I catch at least one fish.

154
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:08,371
-Have one of mine.
-I don't want one of yours.

155
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,377
You know why you haven't caught anything yet,
don't you?

156
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:13,060
-Why?
-You know the old fisherman saying.

157
00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:14,977
If you're too white, the fish don't bite.

158
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,613
Listen, Morgan Freeman,

159
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:19,174
why don't you head back to dry land
and leave me some fish to catch.

160
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,131
Oh, yeah, what, am I going to walk on water?

161
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,459
Emergency dinghy.

162
00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:24,649
Fine, I will.

163
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,172
Oh, I've gone into the future.

164
00:08:42,460 --> 00:08:44,052
Ain't there a foot pump in here?

165
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:45,932
Oh, yeah, here it is.

166
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,216
Oh, thanks a lot.

167
00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:52,451
♪ I'd rather kiss a fish, a fish, a fish

168
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:54,218
♪ Than a fisherman's wife

169
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,570
♪ I'd rather kiss a fish, a fish, a fish

170
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,531
♪ Than a fisherman's wife

171
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,651
♪ I'd rather get off with a clam tonight

172
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,736
♪ Than get off with a fisherman's wife

173
00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:04,771
♪ I'd rather get off with a clam tonight

174
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:08,415
♪ And be happy for the rest of my life ♪

175
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,250
-Hello, Vince.
-All right.

176
00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:13,974
-You catch all them yourself, boy?
-Yeah.

177
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:17,695
A true fisherman. See, fellas?

178
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:19,976
A toast to the young man.

179
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,819
Flirtinis all round.

180
00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:26,489
♪ He caught a fish upon the lake

181
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:29,657
♪ And came into this pub ♪

182
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:32,169
They improvise all that, you know, Vince.

183
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,973
-Really?
-Come sit yourself down, boy.

184
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,899
What's your name, boy boy?

185
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:38,214
-Vince.
-Vince?

186
00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:39,978
Good strong fisherman's name.

187
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,818
Vince is Icelandic for hook, you know.

188
00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:43,089
-Really?
-Aye.

189
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:45,256
-There's your Flirtini.
-Oh, cheers, mate.

190
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:47,018
-Pipe?
-Yeah, why not?

191
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:49,210
-Beard?
-I'm fine, thanks.

192
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,012
-Colin.
-Lucien.

193
00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:54,291
How did you come by these fish then,
boy, sonny Jim, laddie, boy?

194
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:57,332
Oh, you know, just dangled my rod
over the edge of the boat and just....

195
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,371
No, no, no, no, no.

196
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:03,459
You got to set the scene, spin the yarn.
That's what fishing's about.

197
00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:06,572
It isn't about fishing,
we ain't been fishing for years now.

198
00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:09,168
Old Neville over there, he's never been fishing.

199
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,817
It's about telling the tales.

200
00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:15,091
Oh, I get you. Right, watch this.

201
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,053
It was a dark night.

202
00:10:17,180 --> 00:10:21,253
♪ It was a dark night ♪

203
00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:23,018
Aye, that's more like it, son.

204
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,698
And the moon was full.

205
00:10:24,820 --> 00:10:29,257
♪ The moon was full ♪

206
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,450
Ha-ha! I'm feeling rigid.

207
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,736
I was out on Black Lake.

208
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,731
(URINE FLOWING)

209
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,617
What did you say, boy?

210
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,689
Black Lake.

211
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,339
(URINE FLOWING)

212
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,655
Just going to go...change the barrel.

213
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:52,252
You should never go out on Black Lake
when the moon be full.

214
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,655
-Why?
-Because there's something out there.

215
00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:56,693
Something evil.

216
00:10:56,820 --> 00:11:00,779
Something that goes by the name of Old Gregg.

217
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,251
-Who?
-Old Gregg.

218
00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:08,816
Legendary fish. Some say he's half man, half fish.

219
00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:11,249
Other's say it's more of a 70-30 split.

220
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:14,178
Whatever the percentage, he's one fishy bastard.

221
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:17,976
Some say he's a ghost.
Can't catch what don't exist.

222
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:20,297
Hook goes right through him.

223
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:23,140
Some say he's acquired the taste of human meat.

224
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:25,251
Won't respond to conventional bait.

225
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:28,213
Only way to hook him is to use a child's toe.

226
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:33,536
Some say Old Gregg is like a big fishfinger,

227
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,776
but big like...

228
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,733
like a garage, as big as a garage.

229
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:43,019
Imagine a fishfinger
when you can see it as big as a garage.

230
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:47,412
Ooh! It's enorm, it's a big one, like that.

231
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,178
Ah! I've got something.

232
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,779
I've got something!

233
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,936
Come to Papa Moon.

234
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,937
That's it, come on.

235
00:12:01,060 --> 00:12:02,778
(GRUNTING)

236
00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:05,339
(JOLTING)

237
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,453
(WATER LAPPING)

238
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:20,094
Hi, there.

239
00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:24,850
-Who are you?
-I'm Old Gregg.

240
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:26,652
Pleased to meet you.

241
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,008
What do you want?

242
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:30,256
Maybe I should ask you the same question.

243
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,018
What you doing in my waters?

244
00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:35,689
Just taking the air, you know. Not fishing.

245
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,455
Well, then how come this hook's in my head, fool?

246
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:39,899
It's nothing to do with me, sir.

247
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,170
It's attached to your rod, mother licker.

248
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,814
Don't kill me, I've got so much to give.

249
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:46,771
Easy now, fuzzy little man peach.

250
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:50,290
You ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?

251
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:51,455
What?

252
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,889
Do you want to come to a club
where people wee on each other?

253
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,532
-No.
-I'm going to hurt you.

254
00:12:57,260 --> 00:13:00,332
-Excuse me?
-I like you. What do you think of me?

255
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,729
-I don't rightly know, sir.
-Make an assessment.

256
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:07,939
I think you're a nice, modern gentleman.

257
00:13:08,060 --> 00:13:10,449
-Don't lie to me, boy.
-I'm not lying.

258
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:12,059
I know what you're thinking.

259
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:15,377
Here comes Old Gregg, he's a scaly man-fish.

260
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:18,253
You don't know me. You don't know what I got.

261
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,417
I got something to show you.
You know what that is?

262
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:23,531
That's Old Gregg's vagina.

263
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,936
I got a mangina.

264
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:29,976
(ECHOING) I'm Old Gregg!

265
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:36,330
I found this washed up on the shore.

266
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:37,609
That's Howard's hat.

267
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,732
There's no mistaking this.
This is the work of Old Gregg.

268
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,420
-How do you know?
-He left his business card.

269
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:44,973
Do you think he'll be all right?

270
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:48,570
Well, I'll let the boys explain that
in the form of a song.

271
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:53,296
♪ He's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead

272
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:54,609
♪ Dead ♪

273
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:58,369
Only one man survived an encounter
with Old Gregg and lived to tell the tale.

274
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:00,092
And that's Mr Hopkins over there.

275
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:03,257
-Well, I'm going to go and ask him about it.
-You're welcome to try.

276
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:06,053
Excuse me, when you actually met Old Gregg,
what was that like?

277
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:17,215
This is useless,
I'm going to have to sort this out myself.

278
00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:19,259
(PHONE RINGING)

279
00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:22,290
Got a bad feeling about this.

280
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:24,812
Pass it here.

281
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:27,738
-Hello.
-VINCE: Hey, Naboo, how are you?

282
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:31,330
-What do you want?
-Nothing. Just thought I'd phone up for a chat.

283
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:33,974
It's been great, we've been fishing.
I caught loads, yeah.

284
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:36,056
Met some interesting local types.

285
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:38,091
Oh, it's been a right laugh.

286
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:40,769
-So what do you want?
-Nothing. I just thought I'd phone up,

287
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,219
you know, a little catch up.

288
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,693
-Nothing else?
-No.

289
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:45,776
-All right, I'll see you later, then.
-Naboo.

290
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,936
There was just one small thing.

291
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:49,852
Here we go.

292
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:52,653
Howard might have been abducted
by a sea monster.

293
00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:53,935
I don't believe this.

294
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,528
-You couldn't help us out, could you?
-All right.

295
00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:59,049
Look, stay where you are,
I'll be there in about half an hour.

296
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:01,171
Oh, cheers, Naboo, you're a diamond.

297
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:06,253
Bollo, get the submarine out of the loft, will you?

298
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,776
Underneath the Christmas tree.

299
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:21,813
What's happening?

300
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:24,970
(ECHOING) I'm Old Gregg.

301
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,135
What?

302
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,453
I'm Old Gregg.

303
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,658
Where am I?

304
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:31,974
Gregg's place.

305
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:36,497
You've been asleep. Do you want a little drinkie?

306
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,973
I'll get you a drink.

307
00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:39,939
(SPLASHING)

308
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:43,134
Do you like Baileys? Hm, creamy.

309
00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:45,296
It's all c-cream and beige.

310
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,374
Delicious.

311
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,138
Do you like Old Gregg's place?

312
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,336
I got all things that are good.

313
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,697
You've done some nice things with it.

314
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:00,818
It's got this. This is good.

315
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,211
-That's nice.
-You can have it.

316
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,054
I'm fine, thanks.

317
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:06,613
I'll keep it here for you.

318
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,056
Well, is this the way out?

319
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:12,094
Erm...I better be scooting.

320
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:14,332
-Hm?
-Got meetings,

321
00:16:14,460 --> 00:16:17,418
and a friend of mine's waiting for me
so perhaps I should be....

322
00:16:17,540 --> 00:16:19,849
Why are you going?
We got everything we need here.

323
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:24,132
We got Baileys, creamy, and everything we need.

324
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:26,376
-I'll get you another Baileys.
-I'm fine.

325
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,811
-Thanks.
-I do watercolours.

326
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:31,135
-Do you?
-Let me show you something.

327
00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:36,296
I call that one Old Gregg.

328
00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:41,612
I did and that one, I call that one Old Gregg.

329
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:46,412
And this one, do you know what I call that one?

330
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:49,894
-Old Gregg?
-Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

331
00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:54,768
I got some more. I got these two.
That one's Baileys.

332
00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:58,734
And that one's Baileys, but a bit bigger.

333
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:03,619
And that one's as close as you can get
to Baileys without your eyes getting wet.

334
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:07,568
Hm, that is quite a portfolio
you've got going on there.

335
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,168
But I really should be heading off,
so it's been good.

336
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,768
We could do some watercolours together.
You and I.

337
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,812
Well, that sounds like great fun.
Let's do it in the week then, Gregg.

338
00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:17,089
What do you mean?

339
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:20,690
-Well, are you free Thursday at all?
-Why can't we do it now?

340
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:22,617
Well, you know, I'm a busy man, Gregg.

341
00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:25,732
You know, I've got things to do.
Howard Moon, man about town.

342
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:28,339
Do you love me?

343
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:30,219
Oh, dear.

344
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,739
Do you love me?

345
00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:33,693
Umm...

346
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:36,729
going to have to pretend I didn't hear that, Gregg.

347
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,532
Do you think you could ever love me?

348
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,696
It doesn't really work like that, Gregg.

349
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:43,170
How does it work? Tell me how it works.

350
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,812
Well, you get to know someone,
you hang out, you...

351
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,973
see where that goes, this, that, the other.

352
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,853
Eventually, you know....
I don't know you.

353
00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:56,097
You know me. What about the boat times?

354
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:58,654
That wasn't really a time, was it, Gregg?

355
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:02,090
That was more of just an exposure.

356
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,297
That was our first date, hm?

357
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,615
You pulled me up with your strong arms.

358
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,651
Oh, dear. Look, Gregg, I don't know you.

359
00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:11,499
Oh, you know me, you seen my downstairs mix-up.

360
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:13,258
Yeah. I didn't ask to see that, did I?

361
00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:14,938
What did it mean to you to see that?

362
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,937
-Did it mean you love me?
-No, it didn't.

363
00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:19,699
-Could you learn to love me?
-No, I couldn't. I don't love you.

364
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,139
-You do love me.
-No, I don't.

365
00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:22,648
-You do love me.
-No, I don't.

366
00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:26,568
You love me and you've seen me
and you know me. I'm Old Gregg.

367
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,009
Yeah, I know you are.
You've told me 89 times now.

368
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:31,051
You must love me exactly as I love you.

369
00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:34,889
Well, I don't love you. And to be honest,
you're starting to get on my nerves a bit now.

370
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:37,978
If anything, I find you slightly pathetic.
So deal with that.

371
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,132
Maybe I will deal with it.

372
00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:43,457
Maybe I'll deal with it
the way I dealt with Curly Jefferson.

373
00:18:49,740 --> 00:18:54,416
You know what, Gregg, maybe I was being
a bit hasty there when I said I didn't love you.

374
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:59,014
Perhaps now, in this light,
with you in the tutu and the...

375
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:03,170
water playing off your seaweed.

376
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:05,538
Maybe I could love you.

377
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:09,290
Maybe I was lying because when
you do love someone, sometimes you...

378
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:12,453
say you don't because you're playing hard to get,

379
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:14,053
-playing a game.
-Games?

380
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:16,774
-Yeah, I was just playing a game with you.
-Love games?

381
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:18,453
That's right, love games, Gregg.

382
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,339
Love games?

383
00:19:26,940 --> 00:19:28,373
♪ Do you love me?

384
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,298
♪ Are you playing your love games with me?

385
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:34,498
♪ I just wanna know what to do
'cause I need your love a lot

386
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:35,655
♪ Oh, come on now

387
00:19:35,780 --> 00:19:36,815
♪ Do you love me?

388
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,659
♪ Are you playing your love games with me?

389
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:42,979
♪ I just wanna know what to do
'cause I need your love a lot

390
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,215
♪ Oh, come on now

391
00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:46,410
♪ Moving too fast, this isn't a race, hmm

392
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:48,531
♪ Baby back off and lower the pace now

393
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,696
♪ Slow it down and give me some space

394
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,572
♪ Moving too fast, this isn't a race

395
00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:02,339
♪ Do you love me?

396
00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:05,054
♪ Are you playing your love games with me?

397
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:08,658
♪ I just wanna know what to do
'cause I need your love a lot

398
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:09,815
♪ Come on now

399
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,896
♪ Moving too fast, this isn't a race, hmm

400
00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:14,011
♪ Will you back off and lower the pace now?

401
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:16,131
♪ Slow it down and give me some space

402
00:20:16,260 --> 00:20:18,216
♪ Moving too fast, this isn't a race

403
00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:20,854
♪ I'm Old Gregg
♪ I know, I think you said

404
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:24,893
♪ Come on, don't make me beg now
'cause I'm not your regular guy

405
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,411
♪ Don't be shy
Do you love me? ♪

406
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,093
(BEEPING)

407
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:40,335
Can you open a window? I can't breathe in here.

408
00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:42,018
It's a submarine, you idiot.

409
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,335
How are we ever going to find
this underwater sea cave?

410
00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:48,213
-Look, don't worry. Captain Bollo's on the case.
-Is he?

411
00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:49,932
You getting any readings, Bollo?

412
00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:51,652
(MUMBLING)

413
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:53,099
He's playing Pac-Man.

414
00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:56,257
I'll sort this out. What you doing, Bollo?

415
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,531
-Oh, shift over, I'm good at this bit.
-Get the apple, get the apple.

416
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:01,173
The ghost is in the way.

417
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:04,337
Hello? We're supposed to be rescuing Howard.
Go back for the cherry.

418
00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:05,734
Go back for the cherries.

419
00:21:13,580 --> 00:21:15,889
Well, you've put on a nice spread, Gregg.

420
00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:18,409
-I did home economics.
-Really.

421
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:22,019
I got an A plus. I did a crumble.

422
00:21:22,140 --> 00:21:23,971
The teacher said mine was the best one.

423
00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:26,696
Well, I'm very pleased for you.

424
00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:29,692
You don't look happy, Howard.

425
00:21:30,260 --> 00:21:31,693
You're picking up on that, are you?

426
00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:34,854
I could make you happy, Howard,
if only you'd let me.

427
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,940
-Oh, not another watercolour.
-You a musician, yeah?

428
00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:42,255
-Yes, I am.
-But you ain't very good, are you?

429
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:44,098
I'm one of the best in town.

430
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:47,018
Come on, I read your reviews.
You know what your problem is?

431
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,017
-What?
-You ain't got the funk.

432
00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:51,779
You're all rigid. You're like a bread stick.

433
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:53,253
You've got no rhythm.

434
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,416
Yeah, I've heard all this sort of stuff before,
thank you.

435
00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:57,735
Well, maybe I can help you. I got the funk.

436
00:21:57,860 --> 00:21:59,612
Yeah, I know, you're very funky, Gregg.

437
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:02,971
No, no, you don't understand.
I mean, I got the funk, right here.

438
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:05,178
It's in this box.

439
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,895
You see, the funk is a living creature,
about the size of a medicine ball,

440
00:22:09,020 --> 00:22:10,055
but covered in teats.

441
00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:11,454
(PURRING)

442
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:15,129
Came from another planet
and landed on Bootsy Collins' house.

443
00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:18,170
Back then Bootsy was a simple farmer,

444
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:22,009
but he took one look at all those
mauve titties and he lost his mind.

445
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:23,619
He began to milk the funk.

446
00:22:23,740 --> 00:22:26,459
BOOTSY: Shit, this ball
producing some sweet cream.

447
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:28,372
GREGG: Made himself a funk shake.

448
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:30,297
Praise the Lord.

449
00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:34,049
GREGG: He began to feel fizzy inside.
He found he could see round corners.

450
00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:35,659
What the....

451
00:22:35,780 --> 00:22:37,771
Suddenly, he passed out.

452
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:41,455
But when he came to, baby,
he was slapping the bass guitar fast and loose

453
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:44,253
like some kind of delirious funky priest.

454
00:22:44,380 --> 00:22:45,813
BOOTSY: Oh, yeah.

455
00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:49,455
Two months later,
he was world famous with his band Parliament

456
00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:51,696
and everybody wanted a piece of the funk.

457
00:22:51,820 --> 00:22:54,573
Rick Wakeman, even the Bee Gees.

458
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:56,850
BEE GEES: # Oh, give me that funky milk #

459
00:22:57,940 --> 00:23:02,411
One day, Parliament were travelling on
the mother ship, fooling around with the funk...

460
00:23:02,540 --> 00:23:03,734
Pass it over.

461
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:06,249
...when George Clinton
kicked the funk clean overboard.

462
00:23:06,380 --> 00:23:07,415
Ow!

463
00:23:07,540 --> 00:23:08,529
Oh, man!

464
00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:12,492
That was july the second, 1 9 79.

465
00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:14,458
The day the funk died.

466
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,338
Two weeks later,
I found the funk in bed with a conger eel.

467
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:20,291
Oh, I've been rumbled.

468
00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:23,730
At first, I thought it was a sea anemone,
but under closer inspection,

469
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:27,176
I realised it was a funky ball of tits
from outer space.

470
00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:31,648
I offered to take him back to Parliament,
but he said he was done with that shit

471
00:23:31,780 --> 00:23:36,137
and that they never listened to him anyway
and were only interested in his funky produce.

472
00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:38,854
So I let him live down here with me in this cave.

473
00:23:39,380 --> 00:23:40,699
That was a nice story, Gregg.

474
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,811
What's it got to do with
making me happy, exactly?

475
00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:44,896
I've got a proposition for you.

476
00:23:45,020 --> 00:23:48,217
We could take the funk,
make ourselves some tasty shakes.

477
00:23:48,340 --> 00:23:52,492
Travel the world in a band. We'd become famous.
We'd be the family funk.

478
00:23:52,620 --> 00:23:55,134
What? And we can get out on dry land
and get out of this place?

479
00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:57,410
-Yes, sir.
-Well, let's do it. Let's move, come on.

480
00:23:57,580 --> 00:23:59,172
-Okay.
-Let's do it.

481
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:01,211
-Just one condition.
-What?

482
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:03,649
That you take my sweet hand in marriage.

483
00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:06,169
-Oh, God.
-Think about it, Howard.

484
00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:09,736
Funky freedom for marriage.
You get what you want,

485
00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:11,896
Old Gregg gets what he wants.

486
00:24:12,020 --> 00:24:15,330
A strong man to hold me at night
when it's raining outside.

487
00:24:15,460 --> 00:24:16,813
We can get out of this cave forever?

488
00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:18,817
You bet your life. Do you accept?

489
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:20,969
I do.

490
00:24:24,020 --> 00:24:25,931
Great. You've made me very happy.

491
00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:28,893
Old Gregg's going to pick himself out
a nice wedding dress.

492
00:24:29,420 --> 00:24:33,333
That's right, crack open a fresh Baileys.
I'm Old Gregg.

493
00:24:35,420 --> 00:24:37,012
(PURRING)

494
00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:41,615
Howard!

495
00:24:42,060 --> 00:24:43,254
(PURRING)

496
00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:56,855
Hey, Howard!

497
00:24:56,980 --> 00:24:59,540
-Oh, thank God!
-Quick, get in.

498
00:24:59,780 --> 00:25:01,008
Just a minute.

499
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:06,172
HOWARD: Naboo,
I didn't know you had one of these.

500
00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:08,535
-Yeah, I got it second-hand.
-Nice.

501
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:10,453
What's in that box?

502
00:25:10,580 --> 00:25:13,652
This, my friend, is something
that's going to put us back on the musical map.

503
00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:15,498
Right, full steam ahead.

504
00:25:41,460 --> 00:25:42,779
♪ We got the funk

505
00:25:43,780 --> 00:25:45,930
♪ We've got that underwater funk

506
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:47,818
♪ We've got the funk

507
00:25:47,980 --> 00:25:50,096
♪ Forget the P-Funk, we got the sea funk

508
00:25:52,060 --> 00:25:53,175
♪ Funk

509
00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:55,409
♪ Funk

510
00:25:56,420 --> 00:25:57,569
♪ Funk

511
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:01,016
♪ We got the funk

512
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:03,449
♪ We've got that underwater funk

513
00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:04,814
♪ We've got the funk

514
00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:07,616
♪ Forget the P-Funk, we got the sea funk

515
00:26:07,820 --> 00:26:08,935
♪ We got the funk

516
00:26:09,940 --> 00:26:11,976
♪ We've got that underwater funk

517
00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:13,374
♪ We've got the funk

518
00:26:14,180 --> 00:26:15,215
(SCREAMING)

519
00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:16,409
♪ ...we've got the sea funk

520
00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:18,451
♪ We got the funk

521
00:26:18,580 --> 00:26:20,855
♪ We've got that underwater funk

522
00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:22,208
♪ We've got the funk

523
00:26:23,060 --> 00:26:25,130
♪ Forget the P-Funk, we got the sea funk

524
00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:26,528
♪ We got the funk

525
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:29,411
♪ We've got that underwater funk

526
00:26:29,540 --> 00:26:30,859
♪ We've got the funk

527
00:26:31,580 --> 00:26:33,810
♪ Forget the P-Funk, we've got the sea funk ♪

528
00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:39,696
-Pretty good gig, eh?
-Yeah.

529
00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:43,176
-We're going to bring the funk back to London.
-Nothing can stop us now.

530
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:48,456
I'm Old Gregg!

531
00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:50,491
I've got a mangina.

532
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:57,736
♪ We got the funk

533
00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:03,931
♪ Forget the P-Funk, we've got the sea funk

534
00:27:04,140 --> 00:27:07,257
♪ We've got the funk

535
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:12,051
♪ The underwater funk

536
00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:16,851
♪ We've got the funk

537
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:22,573
♪ Forget the P-Funk, we've got the sea funk ♪