1
00:00:02,288 --> 00:00:06,122
(Howard) Come with us now
on a journey through time and space.

2
00:00:06,248 --> 00:00:08,808
(Vince) To the world of
"The Mighty Boosh".

3
00:00:08,928 --> 00:00:10,156
♪ "The Mighty Boosh"

4
00:00:10,288 --> 00:00:13,803
♪ Come with us to
"The Mighty Boosh"

5
00:00:13,928 --> 00:00:15,156
♪ "The Mighty Boosh"

6
00:00:15,288 --> 00:00:19,281
♪ Come with us to
"The Mighty Boosh"

7
00:00:40,008 --> 00:00:43,683
Ooh, now. Hello, Nelly.

8
00:00:43,808 --> 00:00:47,437
Mm-mm, Lady Vinyl.
Ow, chicka-chicka.

9
00:00:47,568 --> 00:00:50,765
- All right, what is it?
- Oh, what? This?

10
00:00:50,888 --> 00:00:54,278
Yeah, this is only the most valuable
jazz record in existence.

11
00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:57,844
- Voodoo Scat by Howling Jimmy Jeferson.
- Why's it in its own house?

12
00:00:57,968 --> 00:01:01,085
It's hermetically sealed, Vince,
in air from the 1950s.

13
00:01:01,208 --> 00:01:04,245
I've been saving 20 years for this
and it's finally arrived.

14
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:07,565
- Go on, then, put it on.
- You don't play records like this.

15
00:01:07,688 --> 00:01:10,441
You'll widen the grooves, lower the value.
No, no.

16
00:01:10,568 --> 00:01:13,685
This is the only one -
handmade by Howling Jimmy himself.

17
00:01:13,808 --> 00:01:15,400
- Who?
- Howling Jimmy Jeferson,

18
00:01:15,528 --> 00:01:17,519
the inventor of jazz scat singing.

19
00:01:17,648 --> 00:01:22,278
Oh, scat! Out of all the aspects of jazz, scat
has got to be the worst, the main ofender.

20
00:01:22,408 --> 00:01:26,720
- You don't know what it is, do you?
- Not really, but when it comes on, I go red.

21
00:01:26,848 --> 00:01:31,763
Yeah. Let me demonstrate to you a little bit
of the power of jazz scat singing.

22
00:01:31,888 --> 00:01:33,924
♪ Jooby-do-bop,
voo-voo-voo-voo, va

23
00:01:34,048 --> 00:01:36,767
♪ Bow-voo-doo-boo-boo,
bap-a-doo-ju-ju, jooby-do-boo

24
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,640
♪ Do-do-do-do, ba!

25
00:01:38,768 --> 00:01:41,157
♪ Ba-ba-bow, ju-ba-ba-bow

26
00:01:41,288 --> 00:01:45,998
Oh, I've got to get away from you.
You're a freak. I can feel myself going red.

27
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,764
- Pick that up, would you?
- Pick what up?

28
00:01:48,888 --> 00:01:51,356
- Pick up the paperclip.
- It's just a paperclip.

29
00:01:51,488 --> 00:01:53,877
Paperclips live in
the paperclip tray.

30
00:01:54,008 --> 00:01:58,081
Blu Tack lives in the Blu Tack garden,
Sellotape upon the Sellotape tree.

31
00:01:58,208 --> 00:02:01,484
- Sellotape tree?
- The stickier the tape, the higher the branch.

32
00:02:01,608 --> 00:02:06,398
It's a simple system. Everything has
its own place in Stationery Village.

33
00:02:06,528 --> 00:02:07,563
(bell rings)

34
00:02:07,688 --> 00:02:10,725
(conductor) All change, please.
Paperclip Castle.

35
00:02:10,848 --> 00:02:14,079
- You are so anal, Howard.
- Less of the backchat. Pick up the clip.

36
00:02:14,208 --> 00:02:16,278
I don't pick stuf up,
I knock stuf down.

37
00:02:16,408 --> 00:02:19,923
- Where's all this coming from?
- It's from deep within. I'm a punk now.

38
00:02:20,048 --> 00:02:23,165
- A punk? Is that what that's about?
- Yeah. Check out my outfit.

39
00:02:23,288 --> 00:02:26,166
In fact, check this out.
It is genius.

40
00:02:27,088 --> 00:02:30,922
Is that one of my safety pins? It should be
tucked away in Safety Pin Cottage.

41
00:02:31,048 --> 00:02:33,323
It's not one of yours.
I got this at Camden.

42
00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:37,361
This is the original pin
Sid Vicious wore through his nose.

43
00:02:37,488 --> 00:02:40,127
- It's got stuf on it.
- It's full of punk diseases.

44
00:02:40,248 --> 00:02:42,557
Whoa, loads of hepatitis C on it.
Whoa.

45
00:02:42,688 --> 00:02:44,724
- Don't do that. Oi, back of!
- Whoa.

46
00:02:44,848 --> 00:02:48,238
Imagine it went into your jazz bones.
You would crumble like Ryvita.

47
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:53,123
First you're a new-raver, then you're a mod.
You're flicking about on the breeze of fashion.

48
00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:55,808
- Yeah? Well, I'm a punk now, all right?
- Oh, really?

49
00:02:55,928 --> 00:02:57,566
- And I'm angry.
- What about?

50
00:02:57,688 --> 00:02:59,007
- About stuf.
- What stuf?

51
00:02:59,128 --> 00:03:01,881
- All the stuf that's going on.
- All stuf? Like what?

52
00:03:02,008 --> 00:03:04,476
- Government. Climate change.
- Climate change?

53
00:03:04,608 --> 00:03:06,246
It's getting hot, Howard.

54
00:03:06,368 --> 00:03:09,280
And that makes your hair
more dificult to straighten?

55
00:03:09,408 --> 00:03:12,047
- That and it's a bit clammy.
- I'm angrier than you.

56
00:03:12,168 --> 00:03:15,478
- I know you are, but you turn it in on yourself.
- No, I don't.

57
00:03:15,608 --> 00:03:20,602
Yes, you do. I've seen you in the hallway
giving yourself a Chinese burn. Hm?

58
00:03:20,728 --> 00:03:24,323
- I project my anger out in the form of poetry.
- You're a punk poet as well?

59
00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:26,359
I'm lead singer of Terminal Margaret.

60
00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:29,639
- Never heard of you.
- You will do in two days. They're coming now.

61
00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:34,523
Don't be showing them Stationery Village now
you've sectioned it of cos that is well creepy.

62
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,037
Organised stationery
means good business.

63
00:03:37,168 --> 00:03:41,446
While we're at it, where's Pritt Stick three?
I put that in my holster this morning.

64
00:03:41,568 --> 00:03:44,287
Cool your boots.
I borrowed it. I'll give it back to you.

65
00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:47,320
I see. You're a punk,
so now you're glue-snifing. Well done.

66
00:03:47,448 --> 00:03:51,236
I'm not glue-snifing. I'm making a scrapbook
of my favourite punks.

67
00:03:51,368 --> 00:03:53,359
Check it out.

68
00:03:53,488 --> 00:03:54,887
Hm?

69
00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:57,476
- It's quite nice.
- You should do a jazz one.

70
00:03:57,608 --> 00:04:00,839
- I might do.
- My mates are gonna be here any second.

71
00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:04,597
- You should nick of round the back.
- I'm not nipping of round the back.

72
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:08,243
- If they see you, they are gonna kick of.
- I'll glue their mouth shut.

73
00:04:08,368 --> 00:04:11,280
I'm the sherif of Stationery Village.

74
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:15,847
- Hey, Vince.
- Hey, guys. How are you?

75
00:04:15,968 --> 00:04:18,402
- Ooh!
- That's a good joke.

76
00:04:18,528 --> 00:04:22,840
- You all set for tonight, mate?
- I thought we could wear bondage trousers.

77
00:04:22,968 --> 00:04:26,119
- Yeah, great.
- Pretty punk, yeah.

78
00:04:26,248 --> 00:04:29,877
- Could you not do that? It's a valuable piano.
- Fuck of, mate.

79
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:32,283
Oi, Vince,
who's the geography teacher?

80
00:04:32,408 --> 00:04:34,364
Oh, yeah,
this is my mate Howard.

81
00:04:34,488 --> 00:04:36,126
- This is Micky Jizz.
- Hi, Micky.

82
00:04:36,248 --> 00:04:39,957
Jackie Jerk-of,
and Dick and Donnie Brain Damage.

83
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:46,760
- Yeah, that goes there.
- It can go there, though, can't it?

84
00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:48,480
It can, but it doesn't.

85
00:04:48,608 --> 00:04:52,806
- Have you tried this?
- I did try it, but I didn't like it so I left it there.

86
00:04:52,928 --> 00:04:55,044
- Try again.
- This is Stationery Village.

87
00:04:55,168 --> 00:04:57,477
You don't have a passport so vacate.

88
00:04:57,608 --> 00:05:00,486
I wouldn't wanna live there, anyway.
Nor would Mr Pen.

89
00:05:00,608 --> 00:05:04,396
- He doesn't live down there, does he?
- Look, this record's in its own house.

90
00:05:04,528 --> 00:05:06,758
No, don't lick that, please.

91
00:05:06,888 --> 00:05:09,766
- Why's it in a little house?
- It's valuable. Put it back.

92
00:05:09,888 --> 00:05:12,356
- What if I wanna buy it?
- If you had a thousand euros.

93
00:05:12,488 --> 00:05:14,763
Somehow, I don't think you do have.

94
00:05:15,808 --> 00:05:17,844
- I've changed my mind.
- It's too late.

95
00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:21,597
- Who is this guy?
- He's with us. He's making a documentary.

96
00:05:21,728 --> 00:05:24,367
- Ignore me, I'm not here.
- Stop doing that, please.

97
00:05:24,488 --> 00:05:26,126
- I'm not really here.
- No, no!

98
00:05:26,248 --> 00:05:28,364
- Could it fly?
- It's in the modern air!

99
00:05:28,488 --> 00:05:31,127
- Whatever.
- It should be in its special house.

100
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:34,081
- (cheering)
- Vince, smash it!

101
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,200
- It is quite expensive.
- Vince, Vince.

102
00:05:37,328 --> 00:05:39,888
- Break it!
- (all chant) Do it! Do it! Do it!

103
00:05:40,008 --> 00:05:41,964
Do it! Do it!

104
00:05:42,088 --> 00:05:44,966
- (all cheer)
- Nooooo!

105
00:05:45,088 --> 00:05:47,556
- Ha ha!
- Fucking wicked footage.

106
00:05:47,688 --> 00:05:50,248
(Micky) Let's go and eat something else!

107
00:05:53,528 --> 00:05:55,803
- Hey, can you sign this, please?
- What is it?

108
00:05:55,928 --> 00:06:00,285
- It's the release form for the documentary.
- Oh, yeah, OK.

109
00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:01,807
Cheers. Knob.

110
00:06:05,728 --> 00:06:09,562
I went to a dinner party
for all of the planets,

111
00:06:09,688 --> 00:06:13,203
and Uranus, he knocked up
a spaghetti Bolognese.

112
00:06:13,328 --> 00:06:16,684
But what happened was
there wasn't any Parmesan,

113
00:06:16,808 --> 00:06:19,163
and I said,
"I'm the Moon, I'm made of cheese."

114
00:06:19,288 --> 00:06:22,200
"Why don't you grate of
a portion of me head?"

115
00:06:22,328 --> 00:06:25,525
And they did.
And it tasted of baby sick.

116
00:06:28,048 --> 00:06:31,324
- So what's the diagnosis, Lester?
- It's critical, Howard.

117
00:06:31,448 --> 00:06:33,757
There's definitely a piece missing.

118
00:06:33,888 --> 00:06:37,278
It amazes me how you manage to do that
with the sense of touch alone.

119
00:06:37,408 --> 00:06:42,880
Well, you know, when one sense diminishes,
the other increases.

120
00:06:43,008 --> 00:06:46,364
You know, Shaolin monks train blindfold.

121
00:06:46,488 --> 00:06:52,643
They can catch a fly in midair with chopsticks,
just by feeling the vibrations.

122
00:06:52,768 --> 00:06:57,046
Everything's vibrations, Howard.
Like music.

123
00:06:57,168 --> 00:07:00,877
Here, let me demonstrate.
Throw me that spanner, Howard.

124
00:07:02,408 --> 00:07:05,718
Don't be shy, now.
Throw it at me hard.

125
00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:12,526
Throw me another one.

126
00:07:14,488 --> 00:07:16,604
One more time.

127
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:22,117
Now let's go get
the missing piece of that record.

128
00:07:25,808 --> 00:07:28,402
- That's the closet, Lester.
- Oh, yeah.

129
00:07:28,528 --> 00:07:30,359
(cheering)

130
00:07:32,048 --> 00:07:35,723
We're Terminal Margaret and this one's
called "I Did A Shit On Your Mum".

131
00:07:35,848 --> 00:07:37,645
One, two, three, four!

132
00:07:39,408 --> 00:07:42,559
♪ I did a shit on your mum,
I did a shit on your mum

133
00:07:42,688 --> 00:07:45,998
♪ I did a shit on your mum
and she rather liked it

134
00:07:46,128 --> 00:07:49,643
♪ I did a shit on your dad,
I did a shit on your dad

135
00:07:49,768 --> 00:07:53,124
♪ I did a shit on your dad
and he rather like it

136
00:07:53,248 --> 00:07:56,320
♪ I did a shit on your shit,
I did a shit on your shit

137
00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,598
♪ I did a shit on your shit

138
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,798
♪ Irony completed

139
00:08:01,808 --> 00:08:04,686
Just ignore me, I'm not here!

140
00:08:09,568 --> 00:08:11,320
I can't find it.

141
00:08:13,088 --> 00:08:17,366
- You bring that rocking chair with you?
- It's a foldaway. I take it everywhere.

142
00:08:17,488 --> 00:08:22,687
- Yeah, well, I don't know where it is.
- Problem is, you can't see for looking.

143
00:08:22,808 --> 00:08:28,326
Put your eyes to bed
and wake up Mr Feel and Mrs Smell.

144
00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:32,521
Close your eyes,
breathe in and listen.

145
00:08:35,008 --> 00:08:36,999
(chuckles)

146
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,208
That's some funny stuf there,
Lester, thanks.

147
00:08:45,328 --> 00:08:48,798
I'm just an old man
having a slice of fun pie.

148
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:54,002
You're not helping anything, OK? Vince
bit into it here so the piece should be here.

149
00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,323
Maybe he swallowed it.

150
00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:59,164
(trombone riff)

151
00:09:03,968 --> 00:09:06,562
- That's not helping.
- Oh, sorry, Howard.

152
00:09:06,688 --> 00:09:08,041
(blows trombone)

153
00:09:08,168 --> 00:09:09,726
I'm done now.

154
00:09:16,168 --> 00:09:18,523
♪ Boo-boop, boo-boop, boo

155
00:09:19,448 --> 00:09:22,360
♪ Scibby-dabby-dooby,
dabby-dooby-dabby-doo

156
00:09:22,488 --> 00:09:25,446
- What's going on?
- (Vince continues scatting)

157
00:09:25,568 --> 00:09:28,128
Vince?

158
00:09:28,248 --> 00:09:30,398
I thought he was gonna be
the future of punk.

159
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,088
Should've checked him out
before you got that done.

160
00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:35,438
- I'm gonna kill Vince.
- Get of!

161
00:09:44,128 --> 00:09:45,925
Oi, Vince! Is this a joke?!

162
00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:49,358
What the fuck were you playing at?
You made us look like dicks.

163
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:52,719
- I'm gonna kill him!
- Everyone calm down. No need to get violent.

164
00:09:52,848 --> 00:09:57,160
- What are you gonna do about it, Aladdin?
- Nothing, but have you met my mate Bollo?

165
00:09:57,288 --> 00:09:59,119
(growls)

166
00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:03,558
(coughs)

167
00:10:04,488 --> 00:10:06,206
(wheezes)

168
00:10:06,328 --> 00:10:08,125
- Get him!
- Grab him, Bollo!

169
00:10:08,248 --> 00:10:10,364
My battery's run out.
Can you do it again?

170
00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:12,197
Quick!

171
00:10:12,328 --> 00:10:15,604
Stop him! Faster, boys!

172
00:10:15,728 --> 00:10:16,877
♪ Skoo-bop, dooby-doo

173
00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:20,398
- How's he getting away?!
- It's these trousers.

174
00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:23,361
- The straps are just too tight.
- Come back!

175
00:10:23,488 --> 00:10:26,082
Come back, you...!

176
00:10:30,608 --> 00:10:33,361
- There's something wrong with Vince.
- Yeah? Good.

177
00:10:33,488 --> 00:10:36,400
There's something really wrong.
He's talking gibberish.

178
00:10:36,528 --> 00:10:38,041
♪ Ji-bop, deeby-da-boo

179
00:10:38,168 --> 00:10:41,604
That's not gibberish,
that's scat singing.

180
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,684
- I speak scat.
- What's he saying?

181
00:10:43,808 --> 00:10:46,197
♪ Bee-ba-bop-bejit,
babba-bejit-doo

182
00:10:46,328 --> 00:10:48,239
♪ Scooby-doo-bap,
boop-boop-de-boo

183
00:10:48,368 --> 00:10:50,404
♪ Babba-dabba-poppa,
doo-doo-doo

184
00:10:50,528 --> 00:10:52,484
♪ Chicka-boppa,
hoop-tappa, him-pahoo

185
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:54,917
♪ Skeepa-ba-ba,
boo-doo-boum

186
00:10:55,048 --> 00:10:57,642
♪ To-pa-bop-to-we,
boum-boum, voo-pa

187
00:10:57,768 --> 00:10:59,201
♪ Bo-ba-bo-ba-boum

188
00:10:59,328 --> 00:11:02,604
- He's saying he did eat a piece of that record.
- # Sibba-dagger-do

189
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:06,721
- And it's poisoned him.
- What was the name of that record again?

190
00:11:06,848 --> 00:11:09,760
Voodoo Scat
by Howling Jimmy Jeferson.

191
00:11:10,808 --> 00:11:12,799
- Uh, Lester...
- What?

192
00:11:12,928 --> 00:11:17,558
- Your rocking chair's on my foot.
- Sorry. I think I know what's happening here.

193
00:11:17,688 --> 00:11:22,443
Let me tell you the tale.
Gather round.

194
00:11:22,568 --> 00:11:25,241
Not you, Extreme Sports Calendar.

195
00:11:27,768 --> 00:11:32,796
A long time ago,
before people had webbed knees,

196
00:11:32,928 --> 00:11:37,718
there was a jazz musician
that lived by the swamps of Mississippi.

197
00:11:38,848 --> 00:11:42,477
He went by the name
of Howling Jimmy Jefferson.

198
00:11:42,608 --> 00:11:48,205
And he liked to eat rattlesnakes on toast
and use crocodiles as taxi cabs.

199
00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:49,886
You're going the wrong way.

200
00:11:50,008 --> 00:11:53,557
One day, he contracted
a strange swamp fever

201
00:11:53,688 --> 00:11:56,998
and his hands became see-through
and he knew he was gonna die.

202
00:11:57,128 --> 00:11:58,083
My fingers are gone.

203
00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:02,884
He wanted his music to live on,
so he contacted a local voodoo priest

204
00:12:03,008 --> 00:12:04,646
called Tiny Robert.

205
00:12:04,768 --> 00:12:08,681
He performed a strange ritual
on his king-size deathbed,

206
00:12:08,808 --> 00:12:14,360
mixing a drop of Jimmy's blood
with his final recording - "Voodoo Scat".

207
00:12:14,488 --> 00:12:20,563
Jimmy died and Tiny Robert got ball cancer,
but spotted it early and had it removed

208
00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:22,280
and it was all fine.

209
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:26,526
There's a lesson in that for everyone -
check your balls.

210
00:12:26,648 --> 00:12:27,603
(man) Twice a week.

211
00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:30,686
So after Vince ate that record,

212
00:12:30,808 --> 00:12:34,801
the blood of Howling Jimmy
must've crawled up inside him.

213
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:39,956
It's turning everything
that was Vince into jazz.

214
00:12:40,088 --> 00:12:43,046
- Vince hates jazz. He's allergic to it.
- # Boo-doo-ba-boo

215
00:12:43,168 --> 00:12:45,523
He heard Weather Report
and his neck went big.

216
00:12:45,648 --> 00:12:48,799
If we'd known sooner,
we could've counteracted the jazz virus -

217
00:12:48,928 --> 00:12:53,046
couple of Stooges singles, the Ramones box
set - but it's in his bloodstream now.

218
00:12:53,168 --> 00:12:55,557
- Is there anything we can do?
- Maybe there is.

219
00:12:55,688 --> 00:12:57,485
It's a long shot.
I'll need your help.

220
00:12:57,608 --> 00:13:00,964
Boots does a late opening on Thursdays.
I could nip down there.

221
00:13:01,088 --> 00:13:05,161
It's more complicated than that. We need
to shrink someone to a molecular level,

222
00:13:05,288 --> 00:13:08,678
inject him into Vince's bloodstream
using a miniature submarine.

223
00:13:08,808 --> 00:13:11,276
- Here we go.
- Someone who knows Vince inside out.

224
00:13:11,408 --> 00:13:14,400
- Mm-hm.
- And has an encyclopedic knowledge of jazz.

225
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:17,884
- There's a surprise.
- I can't go in there, I've got asthma.

226
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:22,718
- Not you, Bollo, you ball bag.
- Look, he ate that record. It serves him right.

227
00:13:22,848 --> 00:13:26,238
- He's gonna die, Howard.
- I can't go in there, OK? I mean, I'm busy.

228
00:13:26,368 --> 00:13:28,802
Stationery Village needs a total rethink,

229
00:13:28,928 --> 00:13:33,479
and then there's Lester, who is basically an
invalid, and I need to walk him home, don't I?

230
00:13:33,608 --> 00:13:37,362
(chuckles)
We are going in, Howard!

231
00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:41,037
There is no way I am going inside there.
It's suicide.

232
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:46,322
Come on, Howard. We're both old.
We're at the end of our natural-born lives.

233
00:13:46,448 --> 00:13:50,521
Uh, I have 40 years ahead of me
of vibrant sexual dynamism, sir.

234
00:13:50,648 --> 00:13:54,482
(chuckles) That's why I hang out with you,
you crack me up!

235
00:13:54,608 --> 00:13:59,284
Come on, unless someone wants to make
Cocoon V, we are finished.

236
00:13:59,408 --> 00:14:02,241
Come on, let's g-g-g-go!

237
00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:06,843
- (Naboo) Diving suits?
- (both) Check.

238
00:14:06,968 --> 00:14:08,959
- Rocking chair?
- Check.

239
00:14:09,088 --> 00:14:10,441
- Harpoon?
- Check.

240
00:14:10,568 --> 00:14:14,686
Be careful, that's a lethal toxic-tipped
harpoon loaded with anti-jazz.

241
00:14:14,808 --> 00:14:17,766
Plunge it into the nucleus of the jazz cell.
Kill it dead.

242
00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:20,277
Checkity ass,
kiddly-diddly check!

243
00:14:20,408 --> 00:14:23,206
Last but not least,
Bollo's made you a packed lunch.

244
00:14:23,328 --> 00:14:27,241
- Thank you, my furry brother.
- Right, it's shrinking time.

245
00:14:42,488 --> 00:14:45,525
- (loud) Howard, head for the brain.
- Bit quieter, Naboo.

246
00:14:45,648 --> 00:14:49,561
Sorry. Head for the brain.
Get there before the jazz virus does.

247
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,724
Good luck.

248
00:14:51,848 --> 00:14:54,408
- Dr Bollo.
- Dr Naboo.

249
00:15:02,328 --> 00:15:05,604
(Lester) You're gonna have to be my eyes
on this mission, Howard.

250
00:15:05,728 --> 00:15:09,038
See that dial over there?
Turn it to four, please.

251
00:15:09,848 --> 00:15:12,442
- Check.
- Now check the bathyscope.

252
00:15:12,568 --> 00:15:15,844
- What is a bathyscope?
- That big screen there in the middle.

253
00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:17,924
- OK.
- How many atmospheres?

254
00:15:18,048 --> 00:15:21,324
- Seven.
- Ooh, doggy, that's good.

255
00:15:21,448 --> 00:15:24,087
Now, hit that red button there on the left.

256
00:15:24,928 --> 00:15:26,964
(laughs)

257
00:15:27,088 --> 00:15:29,966
That's the milk for
the cofee machine, doofus!

258
00:15:30,088 --> 00:15:34,206
Yeah, the laughs don't stop coming with you,
do they, Lester?

259
00:15:40,088 --> 00:15:42,204
- All right, Vince?
- Whatcha, Vince?

260
00:15:42,328 --> 00:15:45,843
- All right, Vince?
- All right, Vince, how's it going?

261
00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:49,404
Hey, tiny red blood cell.
Come over here a minute.

262
00:15:49,528 --> 00:15:52,486
- All right?
- Wanna get yourself a free Topshop voucher?

263
00:15:52,608 --> 00:15:54,644
- Yeah, that'd be genius.
- Over here.

264
00:15:54,768 --> 00:15:56,645
That's right.
(evil laugh)

265
00:15:56,768 --> 00:15:59,965
Take that, you tiny bitch!
Take it! Drink it down!

266
00:16:00,088 --> 00:16:03,967
Flipping hell, what have you gone
and done that for? That's really hurt.

267
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,885
(evil laugh)

268
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,568
- You, come over here.
- Hello. All right?

269
00:16:08,688 --> 00:16:11,760
I got a free can of hairspray
round the corner, you interested?

270
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:15,039
Oh, I do like hairspray.
I'll take that of your hands.

271
00:16:15,168 --> 00:16:17,477
(evil laugh)

272
00:16:20,328 --> 00:16:23,718
You know Shaolin monks can read tea leaves
with their toenails?

273
00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:27,523
- Yeah, Lester, can you shut up, please?
- All right.

274
00:16:27,648 --> 00:16:29,798
(all) Halt!

275
00:16:29,928 --> 00:16:33,841
- What is that, Lester?
- Vince's immune system coming to attack.

276
00:16:33,968 --> 00:16:36,084
(all) You shall not pass!

277
00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:39,086
We're on a mission from Naboo.
We need to get to the brain.

278
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,438
(all) You shall not pass!

279
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,877
You gotta get out there
and reason with them.

280
00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:48,240
I packed the harpoon just in case
that bastard jazz cell turns up.

281
00:16:48,368 --> 00:16:52,646
Don't worry, I got your back.
If you need help, just nod.

282
00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:56,558
- Aren't you blind?
- Well, when one sense diminishes, the...

283
00:16:56,688 --> 00:16:58,360
I'll use the walkie-talkie.

284
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:12,923
- (all) Who are you?
- I'm Howard Moon. I'm here to help you.

285
00:17:13,048 --> 00:17:16,961
Something is killing us.
It is you. You will die!

286
00:17:17,088 --> 00:17:22,003
It's not us. We're here to help. There's a rogue
jazz cell attacking you, we're here to kill it.

287
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:27,282
- (all) Oh, jazz!
- We hate jazz! Curiosity Killed the Cat.

288
00:17:27,408 --> 00:17:31,083
That's not jazz,
that's a pale imitation of true bebop.

289
00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:33,278
- Ooh!
- You must help us find the jazz cell.

290
00:17:33,408 --> 00:17:37,003
- We will never help you.
- We will dissolve you like a bath bomb.

291
00:17:37,128 --> 00:17:39,483
- Prepare for the dissolving!
- No.

292
00:17:39,608 --> 00:17:42,645
Run the bath!
The bath of pain!

293
00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:47,523
- Lester, get me out of here!
- Don't worry, Howard. I got your back.

294
00:17:49,888 --> 00:17:53,563
What are they doing?
They're going backwards towards his big toe.

295
00:17:53,688 --> 00:17:55,041
Oh, shit!

296
00:17:55,168 --> 00:17:57,636
- Die! Die!
- We hate you. We will destroy you.

297
00:17:57,768 --> 00:18:01,397
- Give me a chance. Lead me to the brain.
- We will never help you.

298
00:18:01,528 --> 00:18:03,758
- What if I give you sweets?
- We will help you.

299
00:18:03,888 --> 00:18:05,799
No! We will not help him!

300
00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:10,524
- Not even for liquorice bootlaces?
- No! We will protect Vince!

301
00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:14,721
- We are Vince.
- We are all Vince.

302
00:18:14,848 --> 00:18:18,079
- I'm not.
- What? Who are you, then?

303
00:18:18,208 --> 00:18:20,927
- Uh, Roger Black.
- He's an athlete, you idiot.

304
00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:23,846
- I am quite fast.
- You're not Roger Black. You're Vince.

305
00:18:23,968 --> 00:18:26,163
- We all are.
- (all) We are all Vince.

306
00:18:26,288 --> 00:18:28,848
Vince, I'm Howard.
I'm Vince's best mate.

307
00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:31,721
- Who?
- Remember the good times we had together?

308
00:18:31,848 --> 00:18:35,124
- What times?
- The time we had those pancakes...

309
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:38,638
- Pancakes?
- # Eggs, milk and flour, pancake power

310
00:18:38,768 --> 00:18:41,236
(all) # Look at his milky yellow sunshine face

311
00:18:41,368 --> 00:18:43,723
♪ Flip it now, flip it good, ooh,
flip it now, flip it good, ooh

312
00:18:43,848 --> 00:18:46,123
♪ Some are salt, some are sweet,
some are fruit, some are meat

313
00:18:46,248 --> 00:18:48,808
♪ The time we used the chive,
it really came alive

314
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,203
♪ Edible Frisbee, springtime Tuesday

315
00:18:51,328 --> 00:18:53,558
♪ I like to boogie

316
00:18:53,688 --> 00:18:57,442
Ah, Howard, we do remember you.
Shall we take you to the brain?

317
00:18:57,568 --> 00:19:00,366
- Yes, that's what this has been about.
- To the brain!

318
00:19:00,488 --> 00:19:03,321
- The brain!
- To the brain!

319
00:19:03,448 --> 00:19:05,404
The brain!

320
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,764
♪ I like to boogie

321
00:19:08,888 --> 00:19:11,277
♪ Doo-doo,
boo-doo, boo-doo-boo

322
00:19:11,408 --> 00:19:14,320
♪ Kiddy-ba-boo,
voody-boo-boo!

323
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:17,406
(scatting continues distantly)

324
00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:22,403
Howard, we can go no further.

325
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,486
This is the optic nerve,
it takes you straight to the brain.

326
00:19:25,608 --> 00:19:28,884
- Good luck on your mission.
- Thanks a lot. Idiots.

327
00:19:29,008 --> 00:19:30,646
- What?
- Nothing.

328
00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:46,483
(easy listening music)

329
00:19:47,568 --> 00:19:51,766
- Can I help you?
- Uh... I'm here to see Vince's brain.

330
00:19:51,888 --> 00:19:54,482
- Have you got an appointment, darling?
- No.

331
00:19:54,608 --> 00:20:00,080
- It's very important I see the brain now.
- He can't, in fact, see you until July next year.

332
00:20:01,128 --> 00:20:02,243
Security?

333
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:06,077
We've got an intruder in the brain room.
Big man, small eyes. Thank you.

334
00:20:06,208 --> 00:20:10,486
- I see headbands are coming back in.
- Yeah, I might get one.

335
00:20:12,768 --> 00:20:14,645
(disco music)

336
00:20:18,368 --> 00:20:19,960
- Hi.
- Who are you?

337
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,158
- I'm the brain cell.
- The brain cell?

338
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:23,960
- Yeah.
- Just you, yeah?

339
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:26,397
Well, me and my secretary.
Did you see her?

340
00:20:26,528 --> 00:20:30,362
She's pretty cute. I'm thinking of asking her
to stay late, catch my drift?

341
00:20:30,488 --> 00:20:33,286
- I ain't got time for this.
- That is an incredible suit.

342
00:20:33,408 --> 00:20:37,083
I knew that was gonna come back in.
The scuba look - genius!

343
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:41,918
It was either the jockey outfit or the scuba
look. Look at all the accessories, they are wild!

344
00:20:42,048 --> 00:20:45,757
Can you get of me, please?
Listen, you're in imminent danger from...

345
00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:48,083
Hang on a sec.
Just gotta check this out.

346
00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:53,407
Oh, my God! Scuba diving outfits
are so fashionable right now.

347
00:20:53,528 --> 00:20:59,080
But don't forget to glitter up those flippers
cos aqua bling is so far in.

348
00:20:59,208 --> 00:21:03,281
- That is good advice.
- # I am Electro Boy

349
00:21:03,408 --> 00:21:05,876
(laughs) I love this guy.

350
00:21:06,008 --> 00:21:11,287
(French accent) So, there we have it.
The supercool Vince Noir with "Electro Boy".

351
00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:14,002
Ciao for now.
Over to Vince Noir with the weather.

352
00:21:14,128 --> 00:21:15,243
(laughs)

353
00:21:15,368 --> 00:21:17,359
Thanks, Vince. Oh.

354
00:21:17,488 --> 00:21:20,560
(laughs) That guy Vince, he's crazy!

355
00:21:20,688 --> 00:21:25,443
Can you shut up?! Listen,
I'm gonna say this once and only once.

356
00:21:25,568 --> 00:21:28,765
You've been infected
by a malignant jazz organism.

357
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,356
It's destroying your cells one by one.

358
00:21:31,488 --> 00:21:36,608
When it reaches you, it will kill you,
and then all that is Vince shall die.

359
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,480
(stirring music)

360
00:21:38,608 --> 00:21:41,042
Thanks a lot.

361
00:21:41,168 --> 00:21:44,843
- My God, this is huge.
- Yeah. Now you're getting it, yeah?

362
00:21:44,968 --> 00:21:46,606
I've got an idea.

363
00:21:46,728 --> 00:21:50,482
Vince, nip out and get me
a scuba diving outfit, with all the accessories.

364
00:21:50,608 --> 00:21:53,998
Oh, and could you work late tonight?
You know what I'm saying.

365
00:21:54,128 --> 00:21:58,087
I know what you're thinking - how can I
when I've got Vince and two Vinces at home?

366
00:21:58,208 --> 00:22:00,927
- What can I say? I married too young.
- (secretary) Vince?

367
00:22:01,288 --> 00:22:04,519
I've got a Mr Rogue Jazz Cell here
to see you, darling. Shall I send him in?

368
00:22:04,648 --> 00:22:07,765
- Yeah, cool. Send him in. He sounds like fun.
- No, two minutes!

369
00:22:07,888 --> 00:22:09,207
OK. OK.

370
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,558
- Huh?
- He'll be with you in a couple of minutes.

371
00:22:11,688 --> 00:22:14,407
- Oh.
- Help yourself to water.

372
00:22:14,528 --> 00:22:16,280
Get in here.
Get in there.

373
00:22:16,408 --> 00:22:18,842
I swing both ways,
but I'm not feeling it with you.

374
00:22:18,968 --> 00:22:20,720
Just get in there.

375
00:22:21,648 --> 00:22:24,037
I think you can go in now,
if you like.

376
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,361
(evil laugh)

377
00:22:30,488 --> 00:22:32,524
Oh, I got you now, boy!

378
00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:37,079
Hi. You took your time.

379
00:22:37,208 --> 00:22:40,837
Oh, I'm gonna leap onto you
and suck your head like a Chupa Chup lolly.

380
00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:44,881
Maybe not, though, eh?
Not when you see this little baby.

381
00:22:45,008 --> 00:22:46,441
(Howard chuckles)

382
00:22:50,928 --> 00:22:53,761
Oh, boy, I am hungry!

383
00:22:53,888 --> 00:22:56,721
Ow! This bread is stale.

384
00:22:57,488 --> 00:23:01,800
Oh, man, you got tuna mayonnaise
all over my tendrils.

385
00:23:12,128 --> 00:23:14,005
Lester!

386
00:23:22,688 --> 00:23:24,997
I got you now,
little piece of chicken!

387
00:23:25,128 --> 00:23:26,607
Maybe I've got you.

388
00:23:27,608 --> 00:23:28,961
Argh!

389
00:23:29,088 --> 00:23:31,807
What the hell is?
You son of a gun!

390
00:23:31,928 --> 00:23:36,444
Yeah, thanks a lot, Lester. I just had to fight
a jazz beast with a tuna baguette.

391
00:23:36,568 --> 00:23:38,524
- How did it go?
- Not well, thank you.

392
00:23:38,648 --> 00:23:41,958
Wait. I'll kill it, Howard.
I need to step up to the plate.

393
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:45,239
- Are you sure about this, Lester?
- As sure as I'm black.

394
00:23:45,368 --> 00:23:48,678
Yeah, but... Never mind.
It's dangerous. You've got to get close.

395
00:23:48,808 --> 00:23:53,484
- You've got to stab it straight in the nucleus.
- Just throw me the damn harpoon, honky!

396
00:23:54,568 --> 00:23:56,160
OK, let's go.

397
00:23:56,928 --> 00:23:59,283
Yeah. I'll do that, then, yeah?

398
00:23:59,408 --> 00:24:03,117
Quick, Howard! You haven't got long
before you get big again!

399
00:24:04,208 --> 00:24:05,926
How you gonna play it, boy?

400
00:24:06,048 --> 00:24:08,721
Fast and loose, sir.
That's the way Howard Moon plays.

401
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:12,727
And destroy the one thing you love?
The one thing you hold dear to yourself?

402
00:24:12,848 --> 00:24:17,239
- What, stationery?
- Jazz, idiot. I'm talking about jazz. I is jazz.

403
00:24:17,368 --> 00:24:18,960
- I'm gonna kill you.
- Think you can?

404
00:24:19,088 --> 00:24:22,797
- Prepare to die.
- (evil laugh)

405
00:24:22,928 --> 00:24:25,044
Will you stop laughing?
This isn't funny!

406
00:24:25,168 --> 00:24:29,161
Oh, it is funny, boy.
It's very funny, and I'll tell you why.

407
00:24:29,288 --> 00:24:31,358
- You can't kill me, boy.
- Why?

408
00:24:31,488 --> 00:24:33,718
Because I'm your father!

409
00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:36,920
Noooo!

410
00:24:37,048 --> 00:24:39,323
Yeah! Let it out!

411
00:24:39,448 --> 00:24:43,236
- Let it out, boy! Release the pain!
- (screams)

412
00:24:43,368 --> 00:24:46,758
Daddy's here!
Come to daddy!

413
00:24:46,888 --> 00:24:49,118
Daddy's come for you, boy!

414
00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:53,683
Hang on,
my dad's a geography teacher in Leeds.

415
00:24:53,808 --> 00:24:56,322
I meant, uh, I'm your uncle.

416
00:24:56,448 --> 00:24:57,961
(screams)

417
00:24:58,088 --> 00:25:02,798
All those hours spent weeping by the window.
Bring Uncle back for me.

418
00:25:02,928 --> 00:25:04,247
Noooo!

419
00:25:04,368 --> 00:25:07,326
What, Uncle Terry?
Who works at Stansted?

420
00:25:07,448 --> 00:25:10,724
What are they doing?
They've only got ten seconds until they go big.

421
00:25:10,848 --> 00:25:12,998
- We've got to get them out.
- Where are they?

422
00:25:13,128 --> 00:25:15,801
In the tear duct.
Bollo, make Vince cry.

423
00:25:15,928 --> 00:25:17,600
Um...

424
00:25:17,728 --> 00:25:20,322
- Mick Jagger's got a bald patch.
- (sobs)

425
00:25:20,448 --> 00:25:23,485
He's put on a stone
and he has to wear a tracksuit.

426
00:25:23,608 --> 00:25:25,997
It's working.
Try some Iggy Pop.

427
00:25:26,128 --> 00:25:29,438
- Iggy's working in Tesco Metro.
- (wails)

428
00:25:29,568 --> 00:25:32,685
- It's worked. Use the syringe.
- (cries)

429
00:25:32,808 --> 00:25:37,723
Oh, I meant your second cousin
twice removed on your sister's side!

430
00:25:37,848 --> 00:25:39,918
Oh, right, yeah.
Noooo!

431
00:25:40,048 --> 00:25:42,642
That's right. We's family!

432
00:25:42,768 --> 00:25:44,440
Why?!

433
00:25:44,568 --> 00:25:47,002
(gurgling)

434
00:25:53,048 --> 00:25:54,561
Oh, I feel weird.

435
00:25:56,288 --> 00:25:58,848
- Ugh...
- Mission accomplished, yeah?

436
00:25:58,968 --> 00:26:03,200
Didn't think we could make it, did you?
But me and Lester make quite a team.

437
00:26:05,328 --> 00:26:08,206
Good evening, gentlemen.
Mind if I join you?

438
00:26:08,328 --> 00:26:11,798
- Shit, what have you done?
- Change of plan. We met on the inside.

439
00:26:11,928 --> 00:26:14,601
It turns out
we're actually related and, um...

440
00:26:14,728 --> 00:26:18,846
I's in no way related to you, boy.
You's is ugly bugly.

441
00:26:18,968 --> 00:26:21,277
You're my sister's cousin
on my mother's side.

442
00:26:21,408 --> 00:26:23,603
- I made that up, boy.
- Noooo!

443
00:26:23,728 --> 00:26:26,526
Let it out, boy!
Come on, boy!

444
00:26:26,648 --> 00:26:28,684
You's is all dead, bubba lickers.

445
00:26:28,808 --> 00:26:30,127
(evil laugh)

446
00:26:31,368 --> 00:26:33,802
- (Micky) Oh, there he is.
- We're gonna kill you.

447
00:26:33,928 --> 00:26:37,477
Not before I kill you,
you gristly bastards.

448
00:26:39,448 --> 00:26:40,676
Argh!

449
00:26:43,648 --> 00:26:46,401
Crap, the white balance has gone.
Can you do that again?

450
00:26:46,528 --> 00:26:47,847
Argh!

451
00:26:47,968 --> 00:26:51,085
- What are we gonna do?
- Now I'm gonna tentacle-ise ya!

452
00:26:51,208 --> 00:26:53,517
- No!
- We need something to destroy the jazz.

453
00:26:53,648 --> 00:26:54,763
(evil laugh)

454
00:26:54,888 --> 00:26:58,881
The pin! Use the safety pin.
It's chock-full of diseases.

455
00:26:59,008 --> 00:27:01,920
Hey, Howard, I've got an idea.

456
00:27:02,048 --> 00:27:04,642
Use this.

457
00:27:10,008 --> 00:27:11,726
- Stab him, Lester!
- (giggles)

458
00:27:11,848 --> 00:27:13,281
Stabbity-doo-wa!

459
00:27:13,408 --> 00:27:14,966
(moans)

460
00:27:16,048 --> 00:27:18,482
(high-pitched scream)

461
00:27:18,608 --> 00:27:20,678
(sobs)

462
00:27:20,808 --> 00:27:23,766
That really hurt me!
Oh, man!

463
00:27:23,888 --> 00:27:27,198
I gotta get out of here, man.
It's dangerous.

464
00:27:27,328 --> 00:27:29,000
Taxi.

465
00:27:29,888 --> 00:27:34,166
Lester, you caught the pin, you sly old dog.
High-five.

466
00:27:34,288 --> 00:27:37,883
Vince should be fine now.
Everything's back to how it was.

467
00:27:38,008 --> 00:27:42,843
There's one thing. You've come back normal
size, but your eyes have remained miniature.

468
00:27:42,968 --> 00:27:46,040
That's a funny joke.
Thank you, yeah.

469
00:27:46,928 --> 00:27:48,884
Yeah, that's funny.

470
00:27:51,248 --> 00:27:54,206
(Moon scats)

471
00:28:13,648 --> 00:28:14,967
(chuckles)

472
00:28:15,088 --> 00:28:17,079
Oh, scooby-doo-bap-boo.