1 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,502 It's... 2 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,106 Monty python's flying circus. 3 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,411 Good afternoon. 4 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,246 Afternoon. 5 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:20,881 Ah... lovely day, isn't it? 6 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,549 Ar... 'tis that. 7 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,053 Are you here on holiday or...? 8 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,721 No, no, I live here. 9 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,157 Oh, jolly good. 10 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:35,262 I say, those are sheep, aren't they? 11 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:36,763 Ar. 12 00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:39,266 Yes, yes, of course, I thought so. 13 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,102 Only... why are they up in the trees? 14 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,105 A fair question 15 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:48,509 And one that in recent weeks Has been much on my mind. 16 00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,612 It is my considered opinion That they're nesting. 17 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:52,613 Nesting? 18 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:54,948 Like birds? 19 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,116 Ar... exactly. 20 00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,552 Birds is the key to the whole problem. 21 00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,522 It's my belief that these sheep are laboring 22 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,525 Under the misapprehension that they're birds. 23 00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,193 Observe their behavior. 24 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:08,495 Take for a start the sheep's tendency 25 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,031 To hop about the field on their back legs. 26 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:18,639 Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. 27 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:21,708 Notice they do not so much fly as plummet. 28 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,848 Observe, for example, that ewe in that oak tree. 29 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,384 She is clearly trying to teach her lamb to fly. 30 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,257 Talk about the blind leading the blind. 31 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,726 But why do they think they're birds? 32 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,228 Another fair question. 33 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,663 One thing is for sure: 34 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,998 A sheep is not a creature of the air. 35 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:49,436 It has enormous difficulty In the comparatively simple act of perching. 36 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:52,773 As you see. 37 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:58,946 As for flight, its body is totally unadapted To the problems of aviation. 38 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,582 Trouble is, sheep are very dim. 39 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,617 And once they get an idea into their heads 40 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,085 There's no shifting it. 41 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,955 But where do they get the idea from? From harold. 42 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,890 He's that sheep over there under the elm. 43 00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:13,193 He's that most dangerous of animals-- 44 00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,229 A clever sheep. 45 00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:16,597 He's the ringleader. 46 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,699 He's realized the sheep's life consists 47 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:21,869 Of standing around for a few months And then being eaten. 48 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,004 And that's a depressing prospect 49 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,906 For an ambitious sheep. 50 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:29,376 He's patently hit on the idea of escape. 51 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,079 But why don't you just get rid of harold? 52 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:37,050 Because of the enormous commercial possibilities Should he succeed. 53 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:40,888 and what exactlyare the commercial possibilities of a vine a viation? 54 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:41,989 bonsoir. 55 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,457 ici nous avons 56 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:46,460 les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-francais 57 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:47,928 ce n'est pas... 58 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,599 maintenant... 59 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,938 nous avons, dans la tete, le cabine. 60 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:58,939 tres bon. 61 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,374 ici, ou se trouve 62 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,909 le petit capitaine anglais, un monsieur trubshawe. 63 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,577 Vive brian, wherever you are. 64 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,212 d'accord, d'accord. 65 00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:08,148 maintenant, je vous presente mon collegue 66 00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:11,084 le pouf celebre, jean-brian jatapathique. 67 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,889 maintenant, le mouton... 68 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,391 Le landing... 69 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,392 Les wheels, bon. 70 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,393 bon. 71 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,195 Les wheels, ici. 72 00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,930 c'est formidable, n'est-ce pas? 73 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,198 est bon, ooh, ah. 74 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,232 de la machine... 75 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,500 de la a vion... 76 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:27,634 de la baa, baa, baa. 77 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:28,702 Ooh, ooh, ooh, baa. 78 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:29,803 de la derriere du mouton... 79 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:30,838 Chug, chug, chug. 80 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,372 ah, merci beaucoup. 81 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,740 suivez la piste. 82 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,875 tais-toi. 83 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:35,909 pardon. 84 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:36,910 pas de tout. 85 00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,046 mais... 86 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,714 ou sont les bagages? 87 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,249 ou sont les bagages? 88 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,750 ou... les voyageurs? 89 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,886 les voyageurs. 90 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,287 Gaspard? 91 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,726 merci. 92 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:53,894 les voyageurs. 93 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,429 les bagages. 94 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,564 ils sont... ici! 95 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,566 premiere classe, deuxieme classe... 96 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,068 et maintenant... 97 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,936 Baa, baa, baa. 98 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,238 Maa, maa, maa. 99 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,406 comme ca... 100 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,141 demonstration fantastique. 101 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,043 sur trois... un, deux trois. 102 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:14,081 maa, maa, maa, maa, maa, maa... 103 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,116 We get a lot of french people around here. 104 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,117 Oh, yes. 105 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,452 All over, yes. 106 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,853 And how do you get on 107 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:20,921 With these french people? 108 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,955 Oh, very well. 109 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:22,956 So do i. 110 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:23,957 Me, too. 111 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:24,958 So does mrs. ames. 112 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,026 Yes, yes. 113 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,127 Yes, I like them. 114 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,463 I mean, they think well, don't they? 115 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,964 I mean, be fair... pascal. 116 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:31,965 Mm, blaise pascal. 117 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,467 Jean-paul sartre. 118 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,468 Yes, voltaire. 119 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,469 Ooh. 120 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,670 Rene descartes. 121 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:40,140 Hmm... hmm. 122 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,141 Hmm! 123 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,382 And now for something completely different-- 124 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,917 A man with three buttocks. 125 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,087 Good evening. 126 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:56,256 I have with me mr. arthur frampton 127 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,025 Who has... 128 00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:02,996 Mr. frampton, I understand that you, as it were 129 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,531 Have... 130 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,466 Well, let me put it another way. 131 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,968 I believe, mr. frampton 132 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,170 That whereas most people have two... 133 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,205 Two... 134 00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:14,775 You... you. 135 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,243 I'm sorry? 136 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,344 Ah, yes... yes, I see. 137 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,046 Um... are you quite comfortable? 138 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,480 Yes, fine, thank you. 139 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,149 Um... mr. frampton... 140 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,453 Vis-a-vis your rump. 141 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,588 I beg your pardon? 142 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,755 Your rump. 143 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,857 What? 144 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,192 Your... posterior. 145 00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:34,328 Derriere. 146 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:36,396 Sit-upon. 147 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,264 What's that? 148 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:38,999 Buttocks. 149 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,133 Oh, me bum! 150 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,235 Shh. 151 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,640 Well, mr. frampton, I understand, mr. frampton 152 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,509 You have a 50% bonus 153 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,211 In the region of what you said. 154 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,246 I've got three cheeks. 155 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,747 Yes, yes, splendid, splendid. 156 00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,749 Well, we were wondering, mr. frampton 157 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,684 If you could see your way clear... 158 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,152 Here, what's that camera doing? 159 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,154 Nothing, nothing, nothing at all, mister. 160 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,624 We were wondering if you could see your way clear 161 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,058 To giving us a quick... 162 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,694 A quick visual... 163 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,934 Mr. frampton, will you take your trousers down? 164 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,202 What? get off! 165 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,670 I'm not taking me trousers off on television. 166 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:17,671 Please take them down. 167 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:18,672 No. 168 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:19,673 Just a little bit. 169 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:20,674 No. 170 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,042 Now... 171 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,644 Now, look here, mr. frampton 172 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,546 It's perfectly easy for somebody 173 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,481 Just to come along here to the bbc 174 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,183 Simply claiming that they have 175 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,318 A bit to spare in the botty department. 176 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:34,254 The point is, mr. frampton, our viewers need proof. 177 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,856 I've been on persian radio. 178 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,057 Get off! 179 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,626 Arthur figgis knows I've got three buttocks. 180 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,661 How? 181 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,696 We go cycling together. 182 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,500 'strewth! 183 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:49,403 And now for something completely different-- 184 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,405 A man with three buttocks. 185 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,008 Good evening. 186 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,244 I have with me mr. arthur frampton who... 187 00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:03,083 Mr. frampton, I understand that you, as it were 188 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,185 Have... 189 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,287 Well, let me put it another way. 190 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:10,791 I believe, mr. frampton, that whereas most people... 191 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,761 Didn't we do this just now? 192 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:15,762 Why, yes. 193 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,197 Well, why didn't you say so? 194 00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:19,199 I thought it was a continental version. 195 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,802 And now for something completely the same-- 196 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,337 A man with three buttocks. 197 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,041 Hello. 198 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,177 Oh, did we? 199 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,147 And now for something completely different-- 200 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,682 A man with three noses. 201 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,551 He's not here yet! 202 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:40,120 Two noses? 203 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,203 Ladies and gentlemen, wasn't she just great, eh? 204 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,538 Wasn't she just great? 205 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,341 And she can run as fast as she can sing. 206 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:05,879 And I'm telling you because I know. 207 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,714 No, only kidding. 208 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,421 Seriously now, ladies and gentlemen 209 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:18,825 We have for you one of the most unique acts in the world today. 210 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,561 He's... well, I'll say no more 211 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,629 And just let you see for yourselves. 212 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:26,066 Ladies and gentlemen, my very great privilege to introduce 213 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,402 Arthur ewing and his musical mice! 214 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,504 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 215 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,374 Ladies and gentlemen, I have in this box 216 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,010 23 white mice-- 217 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,681 Mice which have been painstakingly trained 218 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:46,220 Over the past few years to squeak at a selected pitch. 219 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,523 This is e-sharp. 220 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,059 And this one is g. 221 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,194 You get the general idea. 222 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:58,565 Now, these mice are so arranged upon this rack 223 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,401 That when played in the correct order 224 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:06,874 They will squeak "the bells of st. mary." 225 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,844 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, on the mouse organ 226 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,046 "the bells of st. mary." 227 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,581 Thank you. 228 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,655 Oh, my god! 229 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:22,723 Oh, stop him! 230 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,824 Stop him! 231 00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:30,330 For god's sake, stop him! 232 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,035 Next. 233 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,193 Are you the marriage guidance counselor? 234 00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:00,327 Yes-- good morning. 235 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:01,728 Morning, sir. 236 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,631 And good morning to you, madam. 237 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,234 Name? 238 00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:10,871 Mr. and mrs. arthur pewtey... pewtey. 239 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:14,041 And what is the name of your ravishing wife? 240 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,409 Wait! 241 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:16,910 Don't tell me. 242 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,279 It's something to do with moonlight. 243 00:11:19,313 --> 00:11:20,747 It goes with her eyes. 244 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,250 It's soft and gentle, warm and yielding 245 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,853 Deeply lyrical and yet tender and frightened 246 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,287 Like a tiny white rabbit. 247 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,288 It's deirdre. 248 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,994 Deirdre... what a beautiful name. 249 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,463 What a beautiful, beautiful name. 250 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:40,968 And what seems to be the trouble 251 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,302 With your marriage, mr. pewtey? 252 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,904 Well, it all started about five years ago. 253 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,806 We started going on holiday to brighton together. 254 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,307 Deirdre, that's my wife, has always been 255 00:11:47,341 --> 00:11:48,709 A very good companion to me. 256 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,911 I never particularly anticipated any marital strife. 257 00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,246 Indeed, the very idea 258 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,147 Of consulting a professional marital advisor 259 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,583 Has always been of the greatest repugnance to me. 260 00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:57,951 Although, far be it from me 261 00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,387 To impugn the nature of your trade or profession. 262 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,522 Do go on. 263 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,825 Well, as I say, we've always been good friends 264 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,760 Sharing the interests, the gardening and so on 265 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,028 The model airplanes 266 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,429 The sixpenny bottle for the holiday money 267 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:10,797 And, indeed, twice in the month 268 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,633 Setting down in the evening to do the accounts 269 00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,701 Something which deirdre... deirdre, that's my wife 270 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,004 Particularly looked forward to on account of her feet. 271 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,839 I should probably have said at the outset 272 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,175 That I'm noted for having something of a sense of humor 273 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,242 Although I've kept myself 274 00:12:22,376 --> 00:12:24,011 Pretty much to myself over the last two years 275 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,245 Notwithstanding, as it were. 276 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,481 And it's only been comparatively recently 277 00:12:27,548 --> 00:12:29,016 That I've begun to realize... 278 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,652 Well, perhaps "realize" is not the correct word. 279 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,221 Imagine... imagine 280 00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:38,692 That I was not the only thing in her life. 281 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,060 You suspected your wife? 282 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,031 Well, yes... yes. 283 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,166 At first, frankly, yes. 284 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,702 Her behavior did seem at the time to me 285 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,771 Who was, after all, there to see 286 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,005 To be a little odd. 287 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,207 Odd? 288 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,842 Yes, well, I mean, to a certain extent, yes. 289 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,510 I'm not by nature a suspicious person-- 290 00:12:56,577 --> 00:12:57,544 Far from it. 291 00:12:57,578 --> 00:12:58,879 I have something of a reputation 292 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,881 As an after-dinner speaker, if you take my meaning. 293 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,516 Yes, I certainly do. 294 00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:04,218 Anyway, in the area where I'm known 295 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,353 People, in fact, know me extremely well. 296 00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,387 Right. 297 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:09,556 Will you hold this? 298 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:10,691 Thank you. 299 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:11,758 Yes-- anyway, as I said 300 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,360 I must learn to face up to the facts 301 00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:14,595 Stop beating about the bush 302 00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,696 Or I'd never look myself 303 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,064 In the bathroom mirror again. 304 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,499 Anyway, so... 305 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,235 Would you mind running along for ten minutes? 306 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,269 No, no. 307 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,270 Make it half an hour. 308 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,673 Yes, I'll wait outside, shall i? 309 00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:30,177 Yes, well, that's perhaps the best thing, yes. 310 00:13:31,545 --> 00:13:34,548 Certainly put my mind at rest on... 311 00:13:34,615 --> 00:13:37,351 On one or two... points there. 312 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,259 Now, wait there, stranger. 313 00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:48,562 A man can run and run for year after year. 314 00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:50,864 Till he realizes 315 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,834 That what he's running from is hisself. 316 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:54,835 Gosh! 317 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,404 Now, a man's got to do 318 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,839 What a man's got to do 319 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:01,208 And there ain't no sense in running. 320 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,944 Now, you got to turn and you got to fight 321 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,113 And you got to hold your head up high. 322 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,214 Yes! 323 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,449 Now, you go back in there, my son 324 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,484 And be a man. 325 00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:12,219 Walk tall. 326 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,253 Yes. 327 00:14:14,555 --> 00:14:16,490 Oh, I will! 328 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,158 I will! 329 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,594 I've been pushed around long enough. 330 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,563 This is it. 331 00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:25,399 This is your moment, arthur pewtey. 332 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,568 This is it, arthur pewtey. 333 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,203 At last... 334 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,504 You're a man! 335 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,444 All right, deirdre, come out of there! 336 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,579 Go away! 337 00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:39,746 Right, right. 338 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:02,803 These historic pictures of queen victoria 339 00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:05,239 Taken in 1880 at osborne 340 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,774 Show the queen with gladstone. 341 00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:11,378 This unique film provides a rare glimpse 342 00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:15,749 Into the private world of a woman who ruled half the earth. 343 00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:19,219 The commentary, recorded on the earliest wax cylinders 344 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:24,091 Is spoken by alfred lord tennyson, the poet laureate. 345 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,894 Well, hello, it's the wacky queen again... 346 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,362 And who's the other fella? 347 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,863 It's willy gladstone 348 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,833 And when these two way-out wacky characters get together 349 00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:34,668 There's fun aplenty. 350 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,171 And, uh-oh, there's a hose pipe. 351 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,439 This means trouble for somebody. 352 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,109 Uh-oh, charlie gardener's fallen for that old trick. 353 00:15:42,176 --> 00:15:44,077 Queenie's put him in a heap of trouble. 354 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,647 Uh-oh, that's one in the eye for willy. 355 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,815 "here, you have a go." 356 00:15:56,623 --> 00:16:01,395 "well, doggone it, where's that water?" 357 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:04,932 Uh-oh, there it is, all over his face. 358 00:16:12,873 --> 00:16:16,310 Well, hello, what's britain's wacky queen up to now? 359 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:20,080 Well, she's certainly not sitting on the fence... she's painting it. 360 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,983 Surely nothing can go wrong here. 361 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:26,386 Uh-oh, here's the p.m., coming back for more. 362 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,288 And he certainly gets it. 363 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,973 Well, that's one way to get the housework done. 364 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,637 Oh, dad, look who's come to see us! 365 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:17,838 It's our ken. 366 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,208 Ah, and about bloody time, if you ask me. 367 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,377 Aren't you pleased to see me, father? 368 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,612 Yes, of course he's pleased to see you, ken. 369 00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:27,614 All right, woman, all right. 370 00:17:27,648 --> 00:17:29,650 I've got a tongue in me head. 371 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,118 I'll do the talking. 372 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,219 Bligh! 373 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:33,754 I like your fancy suit. 374 00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:36,757 Is that what they're wearing up in yorkshire now? 375 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:38,458 It's just an ordinary suit, father. 376 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,627 It's all I've got, apart from the overalls. 377 00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:41,795 How are you liking it 378 00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:42,863 Down the mine, ken? 379 00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:44,398 Oh, it's not too bad, mum. 380 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,934 We're using some new tungsten carbide drills 381 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,903 For the preliminary coal-face scouring operations. 382 00:17:49,937 --> 00:17:51,405 Oh, that sounds nice, dear. 383 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,473 Tungsten carbide drills? 384 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:57,611 What the bloody hell is tungsten carbide drills? 385 00:17:57,678 --> 00:18:00,147 It's something they use in coal mining, father. 386 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,182 "it's something they use in coal mining, father." 387 00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:04,651 Your bloody fancy talk since you left london. 388 00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:05,719 Not that again. 389 00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:07,454 He's had a hard day, dear. 390 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:08,722 His new play opens 391 00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:10,757 At national theatre tomorrow. 392 00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:12,226 Oh, that's good. 393 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,360 Good?! good?! 394 00:18:13,427 --> 00:18:14,895 What do you know about it? 395 00:18:14,962 --> 00:18:17,431 What do you know about getting up at 5:00 in the morning 396 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,933 To fly to paris, back at the old vic for drinks at 12:00 397 00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:21,435 Sweating the day 398 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,537 Through press interviews, television interviews 399 00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:26,206 Then getting back here at 10:00 to wrestle with the problem 400 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,141 Of an homosexual nymphomaniac drug addict 401 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,510 Involved in the ritual murder 402 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,111 Of a well-known scottish footballer? 403 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,579 That's a full working day, lad! 404 00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:33,680 And don't you forget it! 405 00:18:33,747 --> 00:18:35,749 Oh, don't shout at the boy, father. 406 00:18:35,816 --> 00:18:38,952 Hampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? 407 00:18:39,019 --> 00:18:42,189 You had to go poncing off to barnsley. 408 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,259 You and your coal-mining friends. 409 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,795 Coal mining is a wonderful thing, father. 410 00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:51,198 But it's something you'll never understand. 411 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,199 Just look at you. 412 00:18:52,266 --> 00:18:53,333 Oh, ken, be careful! 413 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,801 You know what he's like 414 00:18:54,835 --> 00:18:56,570 After a few novels. 415 00:18:56,637 --> 00:18:58,105 Go on, lad, go on. 416 00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,974 Out with it-- what's wrong with me? 417 00:19:01,008 --> 00:19:02,976 Your tit! 418 00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:04,811 I'll tell you what's wrong with you. 419 00:19:04,845 --> 00:19:06,880 Your head's addled with novels and poems. 420 00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:08,182 You come home every evening 421 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,683 Reeling of chateau la tour. 422 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:10,784 Don't, don't! 423 00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:12,319 And look what you've done to mother. 424 00:19:12,386 --> 00:19:14,354 She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres 425 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,556 And giving gala luncheons. 426 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:18,492 There's nowt wrong with gala luncheons, lad! 427 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,327 I've had more gala luncheons 428 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,196 Than you've had hot dinners. 429 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,297 Oh, please, please. 430 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,599 Oh, no! 431 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,600 What is it? 432 00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:29,036 Oh, it's his writer's cramp. 433 00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:30,537 You never told me about this. 434 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,105 No, we didn't like to, kenny. 435 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,107 I'm all right, I'm all right, woman. 436 00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:35,475 Just get him out of here! 437 00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,044 Oh, ken, you'd better go. 438 00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,178 All right, I'm going. 439 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,813 After all we've done for him. 440 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,114 One day you'll realize 441 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,050 There's more to life than culture. 442 00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:45,652 There's dirt and smoke and good, honest sweat! 443 00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:47,521 Get out, get out, you laborer! 444 00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:51,825 Hey, you know, mother? 445 00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:53,427 I think there's a play there. 446 00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,661 Get agent on the phone. 447 00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:56,563 Aye, I think you're right, frank. 448 00:19:56,597 --> 00:19:57,664 It could express... 449 00:19:58,966 --> 00:19:59,933 It could express 450 00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:01,268 A vital theme of our age. 451 00:20:01,335 --> 00:20:04,171 Oh, shut up! 452 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,106 Shut up! 453 00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,341 Well, that's better. 454 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,409 Now, for something completely different-- 455 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,844 A man with three buttocks. 456 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:11,979 We've done that! 457 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:15,983 Oh, all right, all right! 458 00:20:16,016 --> 00:20:18,986 A man with... nine legs. 459 00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:20,153 He ran away! 460 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,122 Oh, bloody hell. 461 00:20:23,624 --> 00:20:26,560 Uh... 462 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,262 A scotsman on a horse. 463 00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:47,781 Harold! 464 00:20:47,848 --> 00:20:49,183 Come back, harold! 465 00:20:49,216 --> 00:20:50,184 Harold! 466 00:20:50,217 --> 00:20:51,718 Come back, harold. 467 00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:53,220 Oh, blast! 468 00:21:08,836 --> 00:21:12,506 Good evening, and welcome once again to the epilogue. 469 00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:18,412 On the program this evening we have monsignor edward gay 470 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,746 Visiting pastoral emissary 471 00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:21,481 At the somerset theological college 472 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,717 And author of a number of books about belief 473 00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:26,353 The most recent of which is the best-seller my god. 474 00:21:26,420 --> 00:21:28,455 Good evening. 475 00:21:28,522 --> 00:21:31,491 And opposite him, we have dr. tom jack 476 00:21:31,525 --> 00:21:33,560 Humanist, broadcaster, lecturer 477 00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:36,163 And author of the book hello, sailor. 478 00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:37,598 Good evening. 479 00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:40,567 Tonight, instead of discussing 480 00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:44,037 The existence or nonexistence of god 481 00:21:44,071 --> 00:21:46,273 They have decided to fight for it-- 482 00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:49,476 The existence or nonexistence to be determined 483 00:21:49,543 --> 00:21:51,912 By two falls, two submissions or a knockout. 484 00:21:53,013 --> 00:21:55,249 All right, boys, let's get to it. 485 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,851 Your master of ceremonies for this evening 486 00:21:57,918 --> 00:21:59,253 Mr. arthur waring. 487 00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:04,358 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen 488 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:07,794 And welcome to a three-round contest of the epilogue. 489 00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:10,564 Introducing on my right, in the blue corner 490 00:22:10,631 --> 00:22:12,032 Appearing for jehovah 491 00:22:12,065 --> 00:22:14,601 The ever-popular monsignor eddie gay. 492 00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:19,039 And on my left, in the red corner 493 00:22:19,106 --> 00:22:22,176 Author of the book the problems of kierkegaard 494 00:22:22,242 --> 00:22:23,710 And hello, sailor 495 00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:26,613 And visiting professor of modern theological philosophy 496 00:22:26,647 --> 00:22:28,248 At the university of east anglia 497 00:22:28,382 --> 00:22:30,918 From wigan, dr. tom jack. 498 00:22:43,597 --> 00:22:46,433 Now, dr. jack's got the flying mare there. 499 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:47,701 Flying mare there. 500 00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:48,936 What's he doing? 501 00:22:49,002 --> 00:22:51,138 And this is going to be a full body slam. 502 00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:52,272 Full body slam there. 503 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:53,874 And he's going in again. 504 00:22:53,941 --> 00:22:55,576 No, he's standing back. 505 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:59,079 Well, there we're... 506 00:23:00,414 --> 00:23:02,349 We're leaving the epilogue for the moment. 507 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,785 We'll be bringing you the result of this discussion 508 00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:05,919 Later on in the program. 509 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,288 Oh, my god! 510 00:23:10,157 --> 00:23:12,125 Oh! 511 00:23:33,347 --> 00:23:34,448 Oh! 512 00:23:34,515 --> 00:23:36,483 Isn't he an impressive figure of a man? 513 00:23:36,517 --> 00:23:39,119 People all over the country... 514 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,889 ...defacement of public property 515 00:23:41,955 --> 00:23:44,224 And this sort of thing has got to be stopped. 516 00:23:44,258 --> 00:23:46,827 Destruction, defacement has got to be put to an end. 517 00:23:46,894 --> 00:23:48,295 This country is not standing 518 00:23:48,362 --> 00:23:50,297 For vandals and hooligans running about. 519 00:23:54,134 --> 00:23:56,770 Oh, yes, that's much better. 520 00:24:02,676 --> 00:24:04,745 Oh, isn't he a lovely little... 521 00:24:11,151 --> 00:24:13,086 Oh, isn't he a lovely little... 522 00:24:22,229 --> 00:24:24,431 Oh, isn't he a lovely little... 523 00:24:24,498 --> 00:24:26,600 Wait a minute, buckaroos. 524 00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:28,535 This has gone far enough. 525 00:24:28,569 --> 00:24:29,803 Look out! 526 00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:31,104 Get away from me! 527 00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:35,576 Get it away, get it away! 528 00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:43,510 Yes, the mouse problem. 529 00:25:43,577 --> 00:25:45,145 This week, the world around us 530 00:25:45,212 --> 00:25:48,182 Looks at the growing social phenomenon of mice and men. 531 00:25:48,248 --> 00:25:51,785 What makes a man want to be a mouse? 532 00:25:53,187 --> 00:25:55,622 Well, uh, it's not a question 533 00:25:55,656 --> 00:25:57,758 Of wanting to be a mouse. 534 00:25:57,824 --> 00:26:01,228 It just sort of happens to you. 535 00:26:02,496 --> 00:26:06,200 All of a sudden, you realize 536 00:26:06,266 --> 00:26:08,302 That's what you want to be. 537 00:26:08,368 --> 00:26:10,437 And when did you first notice 538 00:26:10,504 --> 00:26:12,840 These, shall we say, tendencies? 539 00:26:12,873 --> 00:26:15,509 Well, I was about 17 540 00:26:15,576 --> 00:26:20,480 And some mates and me went to a party 541 00:26:20,514 --> 00:26:23,617 And, uh, well, we had quite a lot to drink 542 00:26:23,684 --> 00:26:27,521 And then some of the fellows there 543 00:26:27,554 --> 00:26:31,024 Started handing cheese around. 544 00:26:34,094 --> 00:26:38,966 Well, just out of curiosity, I tried a bit and... 545 00:26:38,999 --> 00:26:40,234 Well, that was that. 546 00:26:40,334 --> 00:26:42,703 Yes, and what else did these fellows do? 547 00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:49,676 Well, uh, some of them started... 548 00:26:49,710 --> 00:26:51,211 Dressing up as mice a bit. 549 00:26:51,278 --> 00:26:52,246 Um... 550 00:26:53,714 --> 00:26:57,584 And then when they got the costumes on, they... 551 00:26:57,618 --> 00:27:00,020 Started squeaking. 552 00:27:00,053 --> 00:27:01,054 Was that all? 553 00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,189 That was all. 554 00:27:02,256 --> 00:27:03,924 And what was your reaction to this? 555 00:27:03,991 --> 00:27:04,992 Well, I was shocked. 556 00:27:05,058 --> 00:27:06,026 Yes. 557 00:27:06,059 --> 00:27:07,027 But, uh... 558 00:27:08,095 --> 00:27:10,697 Gradually I came to feel 559 00:27:10,764 --> 00:27:14,101 That I was more at ease with other mice. 560 00:27:14,134 --> 00:27:17,571 A typical case, whom we shall refer to as mr. "a." 561 00:27:17,604 --> 00:27:19,773 Although his real name is this. 562 00:27:25,412 --> 00:27:29,449 What is it that attracts someone like mr. "a" to this way of life? 563 00:27:29,516 --> 00:27:31,818 I have with me a consultant psychiatrist. 564 00:27:31,852 --> 00:27:34,021 Well, we've just heard 565 00:27:34,087 --> 00:27:36,423 A typical case history. 566 00:27:36,456 --> 00:27:41,061 I myself have over 700 similar histories, all fully documented. 567 00:27:41,128 --> 00:27:42,963 Would you care to choose one? 568 00:27:47,901 --> 00:27:52,806 Mr... arthur aldridge of livington. 569 00:27:53,807 --> 00:27:54,908 Well, that's amazing. 570 00:27:54,975 --> 00:27:56,276 Thank you. 571 00:27:56,310 --> 00:27:57,611 Amazing... thank you, janet. 572 00:28:06,086 --> 00:28:08,322 Kargol, speaking as a psychiatrist 573 00:28:08,388 --> 00:28:10,224 As opposed to a con jurer... 574 00:28:10,257 --> 00:28:11,358 Oh. 575 00:28:11,425 --> 00:28:14,394 What makes certain men want to be mice? 576 00:28:14,428 --> 00:28:16,763 Well, we psychiatrists have found 577 00:28:16,797 --> 00:28:21,235 That over eight percent of the population will always be mice. 578 00:28:21,301 --> 00:28:24,538 I mean, after all, there's something of the mouse in all of us. 579 00:28:24,605 --> 00:28:27,140 I mean, how many of us can honestly say 580 00:28:27,207 --> 00:28:31,912 That at one time or another, he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice? 581 00:28:31,979 --> 00:28:34,648 I know I have. 582 00:28:34,715 --> 00:28:37,885 I mean, most normal adolescents go through a stage 583 00:28:37,951 --> 00:28:40,420 Of squeaking two or three times a day. 584 00:28:40,454 --> 00:28:42,356 Most youngsters, on the other hand 585 00:28:42,389 --> 00:28:45,759 Some youngsters, are attracted to it by its very illegality. 586 00:28:45,792 --> 00:28:47,828 It's like murder. 587 00:28:47,895 --> 00:28:51,265 Make a thing illegal, and it acquires a mystique. 588 00:28:51,331 --> 00:28:52,432 Look at arson. 589 00:28:52,499 --> 00:28:54,468 I mean, how many of us can honestly say 590 00:28:54,501 --> 00:28:55,836 That at one time or another 591 00:28:55,869 --> 00:28:58,272 He hasn't set fire to some great public building? 592 00:28:58,305 --> 00:28:59,907 I know I have. 593 00:29:01,742 --> 00:29:05,145 The only way, the only way to bring the crime figures down 594 00:29:05,179 --> 00:29:07,181 Is to reduce the number of offenses. 595 00:29:07,314 --> 00:29:08,615 Get it out in the open. 596 00:29:08,649 --> 00:29:09,950 I know I have. 597 00:29:09,983 --> 00:29:12,452 Hmm... the amazing kargol and janet. 598 00:29:12,519 --> 00:29:14,555 What a lot of people don't realize is 599 00:29:14,621 --> 00:29:16,156 That a mouse, once accepted 600 00:29:16,223 --> 00:29:18,625 Can fulfill a very useful role in society. 601 00:29:18,659 --> 00:29:21,195 Indeed, there are examples throughout history 602 00:29:21,261 --> 00:29:23,664 Of famous men now known to have been mice. 603 00:29:23,697 --> 00:29:27,034 veni, vidi, vici. 604 00:29:38,712 --> 00:29:41,615 And of course, hilaire belloc. 605 00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:44,251 But what is the attitude... 606 00:29:44,351 --> 00:29:45,819 Of the man in the street towards... 607 00:29:45,886 --> 00:29:49,022 This growing social problem? 608 00:29:49,089 --> 00:29:50,057 I'm down on them. 609 00:29:50,090 --> 00:29:51,458 I'd strangle them. 610 00:29:51,491 --> 00:29:54,928 Well, speaking as a member of the stock exchange 611 00:29:54,995 --> 00:29:57,865 I would suck their brains out with a straw 612 00:29:57,898 --> 00:30:01,034 Sell the widows and orphans and go into south american zinc. 613 00:30:01,101 --> 00:30:04,938 Yeah, I'd stuff sparrows down their throats 614 00:30:04,972 --> 00:30:08,742 Until the beaks stuck out through the stomach walls. 615 00:30:08,775 --> 00:30:10,644 Oh, well, I'm a chartered accountant 616 00:30:10,677 --> 00:30:13,113 And consequently too boring to be of interest. 617 00:30:13,146 --> 00:30:16,383 I feel that these poor, unfortunate people 618 00:30:16,450 --> 00:30:22,256 Should be free to live the lives of their own choice. 619 00:30:22,289 --> 00:30:26,059 I'd, uh, split their nostrils open with a boat hook, I think. 620 00:30:26,093 --> 00:30:28,262 Oh, well, I mean, they can't help it, can they? 621 00:30:28,328 --> 00:30:30,464 But, I mean, there's nothing you can do about it 622 00:30:30,531 --> 00:30:31,932 So I'd kill them. 623 00:30:31,965 --> 00:30:35,269 Clearly the british public's view is a hostile one. 624 00:30:35,302 --> 00:30:36,436 Hostile. 625 00:30:38,272 --> 00:30:40,741 But perhaps this is because so little is generally known 626 00:30:40,774 --> 00:30:41,875 Of these mice men. 627 00:30:41,942 --> 00:30:43,410 We have some film now 628 00:30:43,443 --> 00:30:45,646 Taken at one of the notorious weekend mouse parties 629 00:30:45,712 --> 00:30:47,681 Where these disgusting little perverts meet. 630 00:30:49,449 --> 00:30:51,318 Mr. "a" tells us what actually goes on 631 00:30:51,418 --> 00:30:52,653 At these mouse parties. 632 00:30:52,719 --> 00:30:54,621 Well, uh, first of all 633 00:30:54,655 --> 00:30:56,890 You get shown to your own private hole 634 00:30:56,957 --> 00:30:58,292 In the skirting board. 635 00:30:59,593 --> 00:31:04,665 Then you put the mouse skin on... uh... 636 00:31:04,731 --> 00:31:08,902 Then you scurry into the main room 637 00:31:08,969 --> 00:31:11,939 And perhaps take a run in the wheel. 638 00:31:13,340 --> 00:31:16,109 The remainder of this film was taken secretly 639 00:31:16,176 --> 00:31:18,011 At one of these mouse parties 640 00:31:18,045 --> 00:31:20,247 By a bbc cameraman posing as a vole. 641 00:31:20,314 --> 00:31:23,584 As usual, we apologize for the poor quality of the film. 642 00:31:23,650 --> 00:31:29,857 Well, uh, then you steal some cheese-- brie or camembert 643 00:31:29,923 --> 00:31:33,827 Or cheddar or gouda, if you're on the harder stuff. 644 00:31:33,861 --> 00:31:37,297 You might go and see one of the blue cheese films. 645 00:31:37,364 --> 00:31:43,036 Then there's a big clock in the middle of the room 646 00:31:43,103 --> 00:31:48,075 And about 12:50, you climb up it and then... 647 00:31:48,141 --> 00:31:51,278 Eventually it strikes one and you all run down. 648 00:31:51,378 --> 00:31:52,946 What's that? 649 00:31:53,013 --> 00:31:55,182 That's the farmer's wife. 650 00:31:55,249 --> 00:31:57,751 Perhaps we need to know more of these mice men 651 00:31:57,818 --> 00:31:59,620 Before we can really judge them. 652 00:31:59,653 --> 00:32:00,988 Perhaps not. 653 00:32:01,021 --> 00:32:02,756 Anyway, our 30 minutes are up. 654 00:32:08,495 --> 00:32:09,696 Good night. 655 00:32:24,845 --> 00:32:28,282 And here is the result of the epilogue: 656 00:32:28,382 --> 00:32:30,717 God exists by two falls to a submission.