1 00:00:17,816 --> 00:00:20,953 I, eric, um... 2 00:00:24,223 --> 00:00:25,190 And now... 3 00:00:25,224 --> 00:00:27,793 It's... 4 00:00:30,996 --> 00:00:35,300 Monty python's flying circus. 5 00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:03,095 Michael norman randall 6 00:01:03,128 --> 00:01:04,963 You have been found guilty 7 00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:09,635 Of the murder of arthur reginald webster 8 00:01:09,668 --> 00:01:12,771 Charles patrick trumpington 9 00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:18,010 Marcel agnes bernstein, lewis anona rudd 10 00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:20,846 John malcolm kerr 11 00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:26,485 Nigel sinclair robinson, norman arthur potter 12 00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:29,655 Felicity jayne stone 13 00:01:29,688 --> 00:01:35,127 Jean-paul reynard, rachel shirley donaldson 14 00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:39,131 Stephen jay greenblatt 15 00:01:39,164 --> 00:01:41,800 Karl-heinz muller 16 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:44,403 Belinda anne ventham 17 00:01:44,436 --> 00:01:47,306 Juan-carlos fernandez 18 00:01:47,339 --> 00:01:50,009 Thor olaf stensgaard 19 00:01:50,042 --> 00:01:53,312 Lord kimberley of pretoria 20 00:01:53,345 --> 00:01:56,515 Lady kimberley of pretoria 21 00:01:56,548 --> 00:02:00,185 The right honourable nigel warmsley kimberley 22 00:02:00,219 --> 00:02:05,657 Robert henry noonan and felix james bennett 23 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:11,663 On or about the morning of the 19th of december, 1972. 24 00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:14,666 Have you anything to say before I pass sentence? 25 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,568 Yes, sir. I'm very sorry. 26 00:02:16,602 --> 00:02:18,504 "very sorry"?! 27 00:02:18,537 --> 00:02:21,173 Yes, sir. it was a very, very bad thing to have done 28 00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:23,509 And I'm really very ashamed of myself. 29 00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:26,211 I can only say it won't happen again. 30 00:02:26,245 --> 00:02:29,314 To have murdered so many people in such a short space of time 31 00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:30,949 Is really awful 32 00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:34,053 And I really am very, very, very sorry that I did it 33 00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:35,888 And also that I've taken up so much 34 00:02:35,921 --> 00:02:37,322 Of the court's valuable time 35 00:02:37,356 --> 00:02:38,924 Listening to the sordid details 36 00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:40,693 Of these senseless killings of mine. 37 00:02:40,726 --> 00:02:42,194 I'd particularly like to say 38 00:02:42,227 --> 00:02:44,563 A very personal and sincere sorry to you, m'lord 39 00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:47,666 For my appalling behavior throughout this trial. 40 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,968 I'd also like to say sorry, too, for the police 41 00:02:50,002 --> 00:02:52,004 For putting them to so much trouble-- 42 00:02:52,037 --> 00:02:54,873 For the literally hours of work they've had to put in 43 00:02:54,907 --> 00:02:55,974 Collecting evidence 44 00:02:56,008 --> 00:02:58,077 And identifying corpses and so forth. 45 00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:00,746 You know, I think sometimes we ought to realize 46 00:03:00,779 --> 00:03:02,915 The difficult and often dangerous work 47 00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,951 Involved in tracking down violent criminals like myself 48 00:03:05,984 --> 00:03:07,853 And I'd just like them to know 49 00:03:07,886 --> 00:03:09,688 That their fine work is at least appreciated by me. 50 00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:10,723 Oh, no, no. 51 00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,124 We were only doing our job. 52 00:03:12,157 --> 00:03:13,158 No, no, really. 53 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,827 That's very good of you to say that 54 00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:16,795 But I know what you've been through. 55 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,497 Oh, no, no. we've had worse. 56 00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,532 It was plain sailing, apart from the arrest. 57 00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:22,001 I know and I'm grateful. 58 00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,903 I'd like to apologize, too, to the prosecuting counsel 59 00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:27,373 For dragging him in here morning after morning 60 00:03:27,406 --> 00:03:28,640 In such lovely weather. 61 00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,876 Well, I would have had to come in anyway. 62 00:03:30,909 --> 00:03:34,346 Ah, good. but what a presentation of a case. 63 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,614 Oh. thank you. 64 00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:38,484 Oh, no. it's a privilege to watch you in action. 65 00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:39,685 I never had a chance. 66 00:03:39,718 --> 00:03:40,786 Oh, yes, you did. 67 00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,588 Oh, not after that summing up. great. 68 00:03:42,621 --> 00:03:43,856 Oh. thank you. 69 00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:45,524 And now I must come to the jury. 70 00:03:45,557 --> 00:03:46,692 What can I say? 71 00:03:46,725 --> 00:03:49,094 I've dragged you in here day after day 72 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,163 Keeping you away from your homes 73 00:03:51,196 --> 00:03:52,798 Your jobs, your loved ones 74 00:03:52,831 --> 00:03:54,800 Just to hear the private details 75 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,368 Of my petty atrocities. 76 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,403 No, no. 77 00:03:57,436 --> 00:03:58,737 It was very interesting. 78 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,205 But you could have had a much nicer case. 79 00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:02,508 Oh, no, no, no. murder's much more fun. 80 00:04:02,541 --> 00:04:04,176 Yes. and so many of them. 81 00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:05,177 Excellent. 82 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:08,213 We've had a terrific time. 83 00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:10,015 I'm sorry. I'm very moved. 84 00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,583 So, m'lord it only remains 85 00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:14,420 For you to pass the most savage sentence on me 86 00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:16,021 That the law can provide. 87 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,956 Well, uh, not necessarily. 88 00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:21,060 Uh, no, m'lord. the full penalty of the law is hardly sufficient. 89 00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:22,928 I insist I must be made an example of. 90 00:04:22,961 --> 00:04:24,229 Well, yes and no. 91 00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:26,298 I mean, society at large... 92 00:04:26,331 --> 00:04:27,366 Oh, no, m'lord! 93 00:04:27,399 --> 00:04:28,701 Not with mass murder. 94 00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:30,569 Oh, but in this case, don't you think...? 95 00:04:30,602 --> 00:04:31,804 Yes, yes. 96 00:04:31,837 --> 00:04:32,805 Oh, come on, m'lord! 97 00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:33,939 You've got to give me life. 98 00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:35,641 No! no. no. 99 00:04:35,674 --> 00:04:37,142 Well, ten years at least. come on. 100 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,610 Ten years? 101 00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:39,812 Shame, shame. 102 00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:40,879 Well, five then. be fair. 103 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:41,880 No, no, no, no. 104 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:43,449 I'm giving you three months. 105 00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:45,951 Oh, my god, that's so embarrassing. 106 00:04:45,984 --> 00:04:47,319 I won't hear of it. 107 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,088 Give me six. please. 108 00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,889 Well... all right. 109 00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:52,124 Six months. 110 00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:52,858 Thank you, m'lord. 111 00:04:52,891 --> 00:04:54,159 But suspended. 112 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,428 Oh! 113 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:57,963 Three cheers for the defendant! 114 00:04:57,996 --> 00:04:58,964 Hip-hip... 115 00:04:58,997 --> 00:04:59,965 Hooray! 116 00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:00,999 Hip-hip... 117 00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:02,001 Hooray! 118 00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:03,002 Hip-hip... 119 00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:04,103 Hooray! 120 00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:05,671 For he's a jolly good felon 121 00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:07,606 For he's a jolly good felon 122 00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:12,044 For he's a jolly good felon... 123 00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:16,582 Which nobody can deny... 124 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,130 It's no good, spider. 125 00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:32,831 You can't escape that easily. 126 00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:36,935 We're coming in after you. 127 00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:46,679 This way, davis. 128 00:05:57,389 --> 00:05:59,758 Hmm. we'd best separate. 129 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,293 I'm going down there. 130 00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:05,731 You check the right ventricle. 131 00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:10,903 Any sign of him, davis? 132 00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:13,305 Why, no. nothing here. 133 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:14,406 All right. 134 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,277 We'll check the spleen. 135 00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:26,652 Wait! 136 00:06:26,952 --> 00:06:28,687 Oh, my god! he's down the back of us! 137 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,055 Quick! we've got to catch him 138 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:34,259 Before he reaches the neck. 139 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,001 Oh, no. too late, davis! 140 00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:45,070 He's got out! 141 00:06:45,437 --> 00:06:47,339 Oh! he's eating! 142 00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:50,242 Run for it! 143 00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:05,290 Ah! 144 00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:07,359 Oh, my god! 145 00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:08,994 We're here in the stomach! 146 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,430 Oh... 147 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,379 This little-known icelandic saga 148 00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:31,283 Written by an unknown hand in the late 13th century 149 00:07:31,316 --> 00:07:34,553 Has remained undiscovered until today. 150 00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:37,690 Now it comes to your screens for the first time 151 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,559 Fresh from the leaves of iceland's history. 152 00:07:40,592 --> 00:07:43,562 The terrible njorl's saga... 153 00:07:43,595 --> 00:07:44,963 It's not that terrible. 154 00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,665 No, I meant terribly violent. 155 00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:47,800 Oh, yeah. 156 00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:50,235 Yeah. 157 00:07:53,138 --> 00:07:55,908 Erik njorl, son of frothgar 158 00:07:55,941 --> 00:07:58,444 Leaves his home to seek hangar the elder 159 00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:01,146 At the house of thorvald nlodvisson 160 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,748 The son of gudleif 161 00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:07,319 Half-brother of thorgier, the priest of ljosa water 162 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:10,489 Who took to wife thurunn, the mother of thorkel braggart 163 00:08:10,522 --> 00:08:12,558 The slayer of gudmund the powerful 164 00:08:12,591 --> 00:08:16,562 Who knew howal, son of geernon, son of erik from vadalesc 165 00:08:16,595 --> 00:08:19,098 Son arval gristlebeard, son of harken 166 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,567 Who killed bjortguaard in sochnadale in norway 167 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,869 Over gudreed, daughter of thorkel long 168 00:08:23,902 --> 00:08:25,371 The son of kettle-trout 169 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:27,439 The half-son of harviyoun half-troll 170 00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,241 Father of ingbare the brave 171 00:08:29,274 --> 00:08:30,909 Who wed isenbert of gottenberg 172 00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:32,845 The daughter of hangbard the fierce... 173 00:08:32,878 --> 00:08:35,214 We apologize for an error in the saga. 174 00:08:35,247 --> 00:08:38,350 Evidently thorgier, the priest of ljosa water 175 00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:41,253 Who took to wife thurunn, the mother of thorkel braggart 176 00:08:41,286 --> 00:08:43,188 The slayer of gudmund the powerful 177 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,158 Who knew howal, son of geernon, son of erik from vadalesc... 178 00:08:46,191 --> 00:08:49,128 Well, I'm afraid we're having a little trouble 179 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:51,663 Getting this very exciting icelandic saga started. 180 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,599 If any of you at home have any ideas 181 00:08:53,632 --> 00:08:56,001 About how to get this exciting saga started again 182 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,670 Here's the address to write to: 183 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,304 Help the exciting icelandic saga 184 00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:03,809 18-b macnorten buildings, oban. 185 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,384 Hello, um, well 186 00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:14,820 I was the third voice you heard just now. 187 00:09:14,853 --> 00:09:17,189 Uh, I'm sorry about that terrible mess. 188 00:09:17,222 --> 00:09:18,524 It wasn't all that terrible. 189 00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:20,826 No, no, I meant terrible in the sense of unfortunate. 190 00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:21,460 Oh. 191 00:09:21,493 --> 00:09:22,594 Anyway, um, our plea 192 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,430 For assistance has been answered 193 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:26,799 By the north malden icelandic saga society 194 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:30,135 Who've given us some very useful information about the saga 195 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,504 And so we carry on now with "njorl's saga" 196 00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:34,340 With our thanks going once again 197 00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,775 To the north malden icelandic saga society. 198 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,144 Erik njorl, son of frothgar 199 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:43,816 Rode off into the desolate plain. 200 00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:49,955 Day and night he rode 201 00:09:49,988 --> 00:09:52,157 Looking neither to right nor left 202 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,526 Stopping neither for food nor rest. 203 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,996 12 days and nights he rode, through rain and storm 204 00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,598 Through wind and snow 205 00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:01,867 Beyond the enchanted waterfall 206 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,469 Through the elfin glades 207 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:07,573 Until he reached his goal. 208 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:11,176 He had found the rich and pleasant land 209 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,511 Beyond the mountains... 210 00:10:12,544 --> 00:10:14,179 The land where golden streams 211 00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:17,316 Sang their way through fresh, green meadows 212 00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:19,151 Where there were halls and palaces 213 00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:20,552 An excellent swimming pool 214 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:22,187 And one of the most attractive 215 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,455 Bonus incentive schemes 216 00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:26,158 For industrial development in the city. 217 00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:28,160 Only 15 miles from excellent 218 00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:29,895 Thames-side docking facilities 219 00:10:29,928 --> 00:10:32,364 And within easy reach of the proposed m25. 220 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,334 Here it was that eric njorl, son of frothgar 221 00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:36,568 Met the mayor 222 00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:39,905 Mr. arthur huddinut, a local solicitor. 223 00:10:39,938 --> 00:10:42,241 Welcome to north malden. 224 00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:44,243 Yes, everyone is welcome to north malden 225 00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,812 But none more so than the businessmen and investors 226 00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:48,614 Who shape our society of the future. 227 00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:51,517 Here at north malden... 228 00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:54,386 And we apologize to viewers of njorl's saga 229 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,621 Who may be confused 230 00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:57,690 By so many references to north malden. 231 00:10:57,723 --> 00:11:00,459 And after a frank exchange of views, we have agreed 232 00:11:00,492 --> 00:11:02,928 To carry on showing this version supplied to us 233 00:11:02,961 --> 00:11:05,130 By the north malden icelandic saga society 234 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,132 On the undertaking that future scenes 235 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,400 Will adhere more closely 236 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:13,472 To the spirit of 12th century iceland. 237 00:11:13,872 --> 00:11:16,709 With moist eyes, eric leaves this happy land 238 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,545 To return to the harsh uneconomic realities 239 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:22,715 Of life in the land of ljosa waters. 240 00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,883 On his way, eric rested a while 241 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:28,620 In the land of bjornsstrand-- the land of dark forces 242 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:32,424 Where gildor was king. 243 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,529 These were the dukes of the land of bjornsstrand. 244 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:40,032 Proud warriors who bore on their chests 245 00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:44,636 The letters of their dread name. 246 00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,940 Uh, hello? 247 00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:50,642 Is that the north malden icelandic society? 248 00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:51,710 Yes, that's right. 249 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:52,745 It's about this saga. 250 00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:53,979 Oh, yes, the icelandic saga. 251 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:54,980 Yes. good, isn't it? 252 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:56,248 Well, uh, well, I don't know 253 00:11:56,281 --> 00:11:58,117 but, I mean, you promised us that you would stick 254 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,451 to the spirit of the original text. 255 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:00,853 Yes, that's right. 256 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,955 Well, I mean, a lot of these things that are happening-- 257 00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:04,690 I mean, well, they just don't quite ring true. 258 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,191 Well, it's a new interpretation, really. 259 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,459 Well, we didn't want a new int... 260 00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:08,861 I mean, we wanted the proper thing. 261 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,462 I mean, just look what's happening now. 262 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:11,697 Banners were a very important part 263 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,798 of icelandic lore, mr. mills. 264 00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:14,099 Well, then, I mean, no, no, I'm sorry. 265 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,768 I just can't accept that. it's gone too far. 266 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,037 I'm very sorry, but we'll have to terminate the agreement. 267 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,204 Oh! 268 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,839 Well, you're just trying to cash in 269 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,608 on the bbc's exciting icelandic saga. 270 00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:23,876 That's business, mr. mills. 271 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,044 Well, that's as may be 272 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,712 but it's not the way the bbc works. 273 00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,514 Well, I'm very sorry you feel that way 274 00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:30,182 but, uh, you know, if you ever want 275 00:12:30,215 --> 00:12:33,819 to come to malden... 276 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,058 8:00 is a peak viewing hour 277 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,760 So naturally, we tend to stick to our comedy output. 278 00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,429 Unless, of course, there's sport 279 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,497 Because, of course, we know this is popular 280 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,566 And popularity is what television is about. 281 00:12:47,599 --> 00:12:49,168 Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired 282 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,570 Of people accusing us of being ratings conscious. 283 00:12:51,603 --> 00:12:52,671 "ratings conscious"? 284 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,540 Transmitting bland garbage, m'lord. 285 00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:55,708 Mmm. thank you. 286 00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:56,942 Now I'm really cheesed off! 287 00:12:56,975 --> 00:12:58,944 I mean, it's not your highbrow, bleeding plays 288 00:12:58,977 --> 00:13:00,446 That pull in the viewers, you know. 289 00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,347 Thank you. 290 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,581 I mean, joe public 291 00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:04,116 Doesn't want to sit down and watch three hours 292 00:13:04,149 --> 00:13:05,184 Of documentaries every evening. 293 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:06,518 Thank you. he wants to sit down 294 00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:07,786 And he wants to be entertained! 295 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:08,954 He doesn't want a load of... 296 00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:11,657 No, really! I'm absolutely fed up with it! 297 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:14,860 I really am! case dismissed. 298 00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:16,362 "case dismissed," m'lord? 299 00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:18,263 All right-- five years. 300 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,965 Thank you, m'lord. 301 00:13:19,998 --> 00:13:21,567 Call the next case, please. 302 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,102 Call erik njorl 303 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,972 Son of frothgar, brother of hangnor... 304 00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,607 Call erik njorl 305 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:32,745 Son of frothgar, brother of hangnor... 306 00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:34,680 Call erik njorl 307 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:39,752 Son of frothgar, brother of hangnor... 308 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:59,605 ...the slayer of gudmund's son... 309 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:03,008 You are erik njorl, son of frothgar... 310 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:04,410 Get on with it. 311 00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,478 Would you raise your right hand? 312 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,348 He obviously can't raise his right hand 313 00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:11,183 You silly usher person. 314 00:14:11,216 --> 00:14:15,354 Can you raise your right leg, mr. njorl? 315 00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:21,160 Can you raise any part of your body, mr. njorl? 316 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,297 I see. well, we'll skip that. 317 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:26,699 Well, just take the book 318 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:28,334 In your right hand, mr. njorl 319 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,636 Without raising any part of your body. 320 00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:31,737 Oh. 321 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:32,905 What is it now 322 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,907 You persistently silly usher? 323 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,742 He can't hold the bible, m'lord. 324 00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:37,943 Oh, screw the bible! 325 00:14:37,976 --> 00:14:40,245 Let's get on with this bleeding trial! 326 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,314 I've got a gay lib meeting at 6:00. 327 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:45,851 Superintendent lufthansa, will you please read the charge? 328 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:48,687 Is a charge strictly necessary, m'lord? 329 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,023 The press is here. 330 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,191 Oh! oh, sorry. 331 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,392 Um... 332 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:54,827 Right! here we go. 333 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,662 You are hereby charged: 334 00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:59,398 One, that you did, on or about 1126 335 00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:02,301 Conspire to publicize a london borough 336 00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:04,503 In the course of a bbc saga; 337 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:05,738 Two, that you were 338 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:08,340 Willfully and persistently a foreigner; 339 00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:10,843 Three, that you conspired to do things 340 00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:13,012 Not normally considered illegal; 341 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:15,014 Four, that you were caught in possession 342 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:16,382 Of an offensive weapon 343 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,084 Viz, the big, brown table down at the police station. 344 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:21,920 The big, brown table down at the police station? 345 00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:24,523 It's the best we could find, m'lord. 346 00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,525 And five: all together now! 347 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,927 Assaulting a police officer! 348 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,062 Thank you! 349 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:34,400 Call police constable pan-am. 350 00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,839 Into the witness box 351 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,676 Constable! 352 00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:49,114 There'll be plenty of time for that later on. 353 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,283 Now... 354 00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,385 You are police constable pan-am? 355 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:56,855 No! I deny that to the last breath in my body! 356 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,624 Oh! sorry. yes. 357 00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:02,027 Police constable, do you recognize the defendant? 358 00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,897 No! never seen him before in my life! 359 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:06,031 Oh! yes! yes! 360 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,099 He's the one! 361 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,167 He done it! 362 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,635 I'd recognize him anywhere. 363 00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:10,869 Sorry, super. 364 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,038 Constable, will you please tell the court 365 00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:14,740 In your own words what happened. 366 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:17,343 Oh, yes! 367 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:20,879 I was proceeding in a northerly direction 368 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,748 Up alitalia street... 369 00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:25,084 When I saw the deceased... 370 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:28,020 Standing at an upstairs window 371 00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:30,723 Baring her bosom at the general public. 372 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:32,458 She then took off her... 373 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,226 Wait a tick! 374 00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:37,229 Wrong story. 375 00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,164 Oh, yes! 376 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:42,434 There were three nuns in a railway compartment 377 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:43,902 And the ticket in... 378 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,839 No? anyway, I clearly saw the deceased... 379 00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:47,706 The defendant! 380 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,041 Defendant! sorry. 381 00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:50,075 Sorry, super. 382 00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,144 I clearly saw the defendant 383 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,446 Doing whatever he's accused of 384 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,647 Uh, red-handed. 385 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:59,318 When kicked, uh, cautioned, he said... 386 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,488 "it's a fair... cop, I done it all. 387 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,591 Right. no... doubt about... that." 388 00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,926 Then, bound as he was to the chair 389 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,294 He assaulted myself 390 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,130 And three other constables 391 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,298 While bouncing around the cell. 392 00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:15,968 The end. 393 00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:18,137 Thank you, thank you. 394 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:19,805 And for my next piece of evidence... 395 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:22,107 I-i think you'd better leave it there, constable. 396 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,475 Excellent evidence, constable. 397 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:27,112 Thank you very much. 398 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:32,151 Now, mr. njorl, will you tell the court, please 399 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:37,056 Where were you on the night of 1126? 400 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,892 Move any part of your body 401 00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:45,197 If you were north of a line from the humber to the mersey. 402 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,199 Is he in there, do you think? 403 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,967 Hello, hello, defendant? 404 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,169 Are you there? 405 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:51,670 Coo-ee! 406 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:52,905 Defendant? 407 00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:55,374 I think we better go and have a look, maurice. 408 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:59,878 Don't call me maurice in court! 409 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,048 Are you in there? 410 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,884 Mr. njorl? 411 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,555 This way, davis. 412 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,491 He's not getting away this time. 413 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:15,427 We'll go down there and through the left lung. 414 00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:19,298 It was around the left lung that... 415 00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:24,003 Once again, I've proved too clever for... 416 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,372 And now, the stock market report 417 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,673 By exchange telegraph. 418 00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,908 Trading was crisp at the start of the day 419 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,011 With some brisk business on the floor. 420 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,613 Rubber hardened, and string remained confident. 421 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:36,348 Little bits of tin consolidated 422 00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:38,650 Although biscuits sank after an early gain 423 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,386 And stools remained anonymous. 424 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,621 Armpits rallied well after a poor start. 425 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:45,124 Nipples rose dramatically during the morning 426 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,959 But had declined by mid-afternoon 427 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:49,728 While teeth clenched, and buttocks remained firm. 428 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,598 Small, dark, furry things increased severely on the floor 429 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,566 Whilst rude jellies wobbled up and down 430 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,201 And bounced against rising thighs 431 00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:59,371 Which had spread to all parts of the country by mid-afternoon. 432 00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,507 After lunch, naughty things dipped sharply 433 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:04,043 Forcing giblets upwards with the nicky nacky noo. 434 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,779 Ting tang tong rankled dithely, little tipples pooped 435 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,180 And poppy things went pong! 436 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,314 Gibble gabble gobble 437 00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:12,718 Went the rickety rackety roo, as the... 438 00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:17,556 Eh, that'll teach you to be normal. 439 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,799 Hmm? 440 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,045 Hmm. 441 00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,348 Hello, mrs. premise. 442 00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:44,650 Hello, mrs. conclusion. 443 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:45,651 Busy day? 444 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,487 Busy? I just spent four hours 445 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,089 Burying the cat. 446 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,558 Four hours to bury a cat? 447 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,360 Yes. he wouldn't keep still. 448 00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,895 Wriggling about, howling its head off. 449 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,263 Oh, it wasn't dead then? 450 00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,264 Well, no, no. 451 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,866 But it's not at all a well cat. 452 00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:03,702 So as we were going away for a fortnight's holiday 453 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:06,538 I thought I better bury it just to be on the safe side. 454 00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:07,940 Quite right. 455 00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:11,276 You don't want to come back from sorrento to a dead cat. 456 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:13,078 It would be so anticlimactic. 457 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,146 Yes, kill it now. 458 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,280 That's what I say. 459 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:16,081 Yes. 460 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,082 We're going to have 461 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:18,584 To have our budgie put down. 462 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,786 Really? is he very old? 463 00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:22,688 No. we just don't like it. 464 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,189 We're going to take it 465 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,591 To the vet tomorrow. 466 00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,627 Tell me, how do they put budgies down then? 467 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,362 Well, it's funny you should ask that 468 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,464 But I've just been reading a great big book 469 00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,066 About how to put your budgie down 470 00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:37,302 And apparently, you can either hit them with a book 471 00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:39,405 Or you can shoot them just there 472 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:40,773 Just above the beak. 473 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:41,874 Just there? yes. 474 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,075 Well, well, well. 475 00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:45,511 Of course, mrs. essence flushed hers 476 00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:46,512 Down the loo. 477 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,447 Oh, no, you shouldn't do that. 478 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,948 No, that's dangerous. 479 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,885 Yes, they breed in the sewers 480 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,654 And eventually you get evil-smelling flocks 481 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,122 Of huge, soiled budgies 482 00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:59,258 Flying out of people's lavatories 483 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,460 Infringing their personal freedom. 484 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:04,129 Good morning, mrs. cut-out. 485 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,432 Morning, mrs. cut-out. 486 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:07,900 It's a funny thing, freedom. 487 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,001 I mean 488 00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:10,502 How can any of us be really free 489 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,471 When we still have personal possessions? 490 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:13,605 You can't. you can't. 491 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,574 I mean, how can I go off and join frelimo 492 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,309 When I've got nine more installments 493 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:18,377 To pay on the fridge? 494 00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:19,511 No, you can't. you can't. 495 00:21:19,545 --> 00:21:21,347 Well, this, of course, is the whole crux 496 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,215 Of jean-paul sartre's roads to freedom. 497 00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:26,318 No, it bloody isn't. 498 00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,187 The nub of that is his characters stand 499 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,622 For all of us in their desire to avoid action. 500 00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:32,458 Mind you, the man at the off-license 501 00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:33,826 Says it's an everyday story 502 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:35,027 Of french country folk. 503 00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:36,295 What do they know? nothing. 504 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:39,665 60 new pence for a bottle of maltese claret. 505 00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:42,801 I personally think that-- oh, beg your pardon-- 506 00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,304 I personally think that jean-paul's masterwork 507 00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:47,806 Is an allegory of man's search for commitment. 508 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,241 No, it isn't. yes, it is. 509 00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:50,342 'tisn't! 'tis! 510 00:21:50,376 --> 00:21:51,410 No, it isn't! 511 00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:53,479 All right. we can soon settle this. 512 00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:54,480 We'll ask him. 513 00:21:54,513 --> 00:21:55,647 Do you know him? yes. 514 00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:57,082 We met on holiday last year. 515 00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,217 In ibiza? 516 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,419 Yes. he was staying there with his wife 517 00:22:00,452 --> 00:22:01,754 And mr. and mrs. genet. 518 00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:05,024 Oh, I did get on well with madam s. 519 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,792 We were like that. 520 00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:08,193 What was jean-paul like? 521 00:22:08,227 --> 00:22:09,762 Well, you know, a bit moody. 522 00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:10,796 Yes. yes. 523 00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,898 He didn't join in the fun much. 524 00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:14,433 Just sat there thinking. 525 00:22:14,466 --> 00:22:17,036 Still, mr. rotter caught him a few times 526 00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:18,604 With a whoopee cushion. 527 00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:20,639 Le captitalisme et la bourgeoisie 528 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:24,476 Ils sont la meme chose... 529 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,178 Oh, we did laugh. 530 00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:27,312 Oh, dear. 531 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,048 Well, we'll give him a tinkle then. 532 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:30,049 Yes, all right. 533 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,417 She said they were in the book. 534 00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:35,020 Where's the paris telephone directory? 535 00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:36,855 It's on the dryer. 536 00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,691 No, no. that's budapest. 537 00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:39,925 Oh, here we are. 538 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:41,627 Sartre, sartre... 539 00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:44,630 It's 621036. 540 00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:47,332 Oh, thank you, mrs. farley. 541 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,035 Hello? paris 621036, please. 542 00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:52,905 And make it snappy, buster. 543 00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:58,143 Bthe girl from ipanema goes walking 544 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:01,947 Tall and young and tan... 545 00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:05,050 Hello. hello, mrs. sartre. 546 00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:06,652 It's beulagh premise here. 547 00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:07,653 Oh, pardon. 548 00:23:07,686 --> 00:23:10,022 C'est beulagh premise ici. 549 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,124 Oui, oui, dans ibiza. 550 00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:13,492 Oui. we met... 551 00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:17,162 Nous nous recontrons au hotel miramar. 552 00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:20,232 Oui, a la barbeque, c'est vrai. 553 00:23:20,265 --> 00:23:24,670 Est-ce que jean est chez vouz? 554 00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:27,673 Oh, merde. 555 00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:32,478 When will he be free? 556 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:33,479 Oh, pardon. 557 00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:37,282 Quand sera t'il libre? 558 00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:41,787 She says he's spent the last 60 years 559 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:43,956 Trying to work that one out. 560 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:47,026 Oh, trez amusant, madame s. 561 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:49,128 Oui, absolument. 562 00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:50,829 A bientot. 563 00:23:50,863 --> 00:23:54,433 Well, he's out distributing pamphlets to the masses 564 00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,101 But he'll be in at 6:00. 565 00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:58,103 Oh, well, I'll ring b.e.a. then. 566 00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:01,407 Oh, look! paris! 567 00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,242 That's not paris. 568 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,044 Jean-paul wouldn't 569 00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:06,412 Live here. 570 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,215 It's a right old dump. 571 00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:15,320 But this is where they were wrong. 572 00:24:15,354 --> 00:24:19,525 For this was no old dump, but a town with a future 573 00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:23,462 An urban eldorado where the businessman of today can enjoy 574 00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:27,299 The facilities of tomorrow in the comfort of yesterday. 575 00:24:27,332 --> 00:24:30,436 Provided by a go-getting, go-ahead council 576 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,272 Who know just how loud money can talk. 577 00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:34,273 Interest rates... 578 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:35,808 Well, it's none of my business 579 00:24:35,841 --> 00:24:37,142 But we had the same trouble 580 00:24:37,176 --> 00:24:38,777 With one of our icelandic sagas. 581 00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,112 These people are terribly keen 582 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,780 But they do rather tend to take over. 583 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:44,717 I think I'd stick to caribbean islands if I were you. 584 00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:46,218 Fine. 585 00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:50,322 And now, back to the saga. 586 00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,939 Here-- this is not paris. 587 00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,007 This is iceland. 588 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,909 Oh... well. 589 00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:14,079 Paris must be over there then. 590 00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:15,781 Oh. 591 00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:20,786 The girl from ipanema goes walking... 592 00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:40,039 Ooh, here we are. 593 00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:41,173 Number 25. 594 00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:43,008 Oh, yes. flat one 595 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:46,912 Yves montand, flat three, jacques cousteau 596 00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:50,082 Flat four, jean genet and friend... 597 00:25:50,115 --> 00:25:51,350 Ooh, yes. 598 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,352 Flat five, maurice laroux. 599 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:54,353 Who's he? 600 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:55,654 Never heard of him. 601 00:25:55,688 --> 00:25:57,189 Flat six, marcel marceau 602 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,358 Walking against the wind, limited. 603 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:00,993 Flat seven, indira gandhi. 604 00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:02,661 She gets about a bit, doesn't she? 605 00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:03,896 Yes. yes. 606 00:26:03,929 --> 00:26:09,601 Flat eight, jean-paul and betty-muriel sartre. 607 00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:11,303 Oui? 608 00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:13,672 C'est nous, betty-muriel. 609 00:26:13,706 --> 00:26:16,909 Excusez que nous sommes en retard. 610 00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:18,110 Entrez. 611 00:26:18,143 --> 00:26:21,013 Oui, merci. 612 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:27,820 ...mais je suis forte... 613 00:26:29,822 --> 00:26:32,791 Oh, rubbish. 614 00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:34,593 Bonjour. 615 00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:36,695 Parlez vouz anglais? 616 00:26:36,729 --> 00:26:38,697 Oh, yes. good day. 617 00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:40,165 Hello, love. 618 00:26:40,199 --> 00:26:41,300 How are you? 619 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,836 This is mrs. conclusion from number 46. 620 00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:45,571 Oh, nice to meet you, dear. 621 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:46,572 Hello. 622 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:47,740 How's the old man been? 623 00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:48,841 Oh, don't ask. 624 00:26:48,874 --> 00:26:51,510 He's in one of his bleeding moods. 625 00:26:51,543 --> 00:26:54,413 The bourgeoisie this, it's the bourgeoisie that. 626 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:57,783 He's like a little child sometimes. 627 00:26:57,816 --> 00:27:00,219 I was only telling the raniers the other day-- 628 00:27:00,252 --> 00:27:02,254 Of course, he's always rude to them 629 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,722 Only classy friends we got-- 630 00:27:03,756 --> 00:27:06,125 I was saying, "solidarity with the masses" 631 00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:08,861 I said, "pie in the sky." 632 00:27:08,894 --> 00:27:11,563 Ooh, you're not a marxist, are you, mrs. conclusion? 633 00:27:11,597 --> 00:27:13,265 No, I'm a revisionist. 634 00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:14,266 Oh, good. 635 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,801 I mean, look at this place! 636 00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:17,002 I'm at my wits' end-- 637 00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:18,871 Revolutionary leaflets everywhere. 638 00:27:18,904 --> 00:27:22,908 One of these days, I'll revolutionary leaflets him. 639 00:27:22,941 --> 00:27:24,510 If it wasn't for the goat 640 00:27:24,543 --> 00:27:27,212 You couldn't get in here for propaganda. 641 00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:28,213 Well, very well. 642 00:27:28,247 --> 00:27:29,214 Can we, uh, pop in 643 00:27:29,248 --> 00:27:30,482 And have a word with him? 644 00:27:30,516 --> 00:27:31,483 Yes, come along. 645 00:27:31,517 --> 00:27:32,484 Thank you. 646 00:27:32,518 --> 00:27:34,086 But be careful. he's had a few. 647 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,287 Oh. 648 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,823 Mind you, he's good as gold in the morning-- 649 00:27:37,856 --> 00:27:39,425 I've got to hand it to him-- 650 00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:42,394 But come lunchtime, it's a bottle of vin ordinaire. 651 00:27:42,428 --> 00:27:44,596 Six glasses and he's ready to agitate. 652 00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:46,365 Uh, coo-ee! 653 00:27:46,398 --> 00:27:49,068 Jean-paul? 654 00:27:49,101 --> 00:27:50,069 Jean-paul? 655 00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:51,136 Ah, it's only us. 656 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,005 Oh, pardon, c'est meme nous. 657 00:27:53,038 --> 00:27:54,273 Oui. 658 00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:56,842 Jean-paul, your famous trilogy, rues a liberte 659 00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:59,611 Is it an allegory of man's search for commitment? 660 00:27:59,645 --> 00:28:00,612 Oui. 661 00:28:00,646 --> 00:28:01,613 Told you so. 662 00:28:01,647 --> 00:28:04,516 Oh, coitus. 663 00:28:17,496 --> 00:28:19,865 Today, we look at a vanishing race 664 00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:22,901 A problem people who are fast disappearing 665 00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:24,970 Off the face of the earth... 666 00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:29,475 A race who one might say are losing a winning battle. 667 00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:31,810 They live in a sunshine paradise 668 00:28:31,844 --> 00:28:35,581 A caribbean dream where only reality is missing... 669 00:28:35,614 --> 00:28:38,150 For this is whicker island... 670 00:28:38,183 --> 00:28:42,621 An island inhabited entirely by ex-international interviewers 671 00:28:42,654 --> 00:28:45,157 In pursuit of the impossible dream. 672 00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:47,993 The whole problem of whicker island 673 00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:49,828 Is here in a nutshell. 674 00:28:49,862 --> 00:28:51,830 There are just too many whickers. 675 00:28:51,864 --> 00:28:53,165 The light-weight suits... 676 00:28:53,198 --> 00:28:56,001 The old school ties... 677 00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:59,004 The practiced voice of the seasoned campaigner... 678 00:28:59,038 --> 00:29:01,674 Cannot hide the basic tragedy here. 679 00:29:01,707 --> 00:29:04,076 There just aren't enough rich people left 680 00:29:04,109 --> 00:29:05,277 To interview. 681 00:29:05,310 --> 00:29:07,980 You can't teach an old dog new tricks 682 00:29:08,013 --> 00:29:09,748 And so you find them... 683 00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:12,885 Sitting beside elegant swimming pools... 684 00:29:12,918 --> 00:29:14,586 Sipping martinis... 685 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:18,157 And waiting for the inevitable interview. 686 00:29:18,190 --> 00:29:22,995 I talked to the island's only white man, father pierre. 687 00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:25,130 Father pierre, why did you stay on 688 00:29:25,164 --> 00:29:26,932 In this colonial campari-land 689 00:29:26,965 --> 00:29:29,068 Where the clink of glasses mingles 690 00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:31,537 With the murmur of a million mosquitoes 691 00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:34,573 Where waterfalls of whisky wash away the worries 692 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,141 Of a world-weary whicker 693 00:29:36,175 --> 00:29:39,378 Where gin and tonics jingle in a gyroscopic jubilee 694 00:29:39,411 --> 00:29:41,380 Of something beginning with "j"? 695 00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:44,049 Father pierre, why did you stay on here? 696 00:29:44,083 --> 00:29:45,050 Well... 697 00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:47,186 Mainly for the interviews. 698 00:29:47,219 --> 00:29:49,688 Well, there you have it. 699 00:29:49,722 --> 00:29:51,724 A crumbling... 700 00:29:51,757 --> 00:29:53,726 Empire in the sun-drenched... 701 00:29:53,759 --> 00:29:56,729 Caribbean, where the cliches sparkle on the waters... 702 00:29:56,762 --> 00:29:58,731 Like the music of repeat fees... 703 00:29:58,764 --> 00:29:59,732 And so... 704 00:29:59,765 --> 00:30:00,833 From whicker island... 705 00:30:00,866 --> 00:30:01,433 It's... 706 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:02,001 Fare... 707 00:30:02,034 --> 00:30:02,735 Well, and... 708 00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:03,569 Bon... 709 00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:04,203 Voy... 710 00:30:04,236 --> 00:30:06,572 Age.