1 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:06,907 Boxing tonight comes from the empire pool, wembley 2 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,775 And features the main heavyweight bout 3 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,312 Between jack bodell, british and empire heavyweight champion 4 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:16,083 And sir kenneth clark. 5 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,985 It's the first time these two have met 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,421 So there should be some real action tonight. 7 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,390 This then is the height 8 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,926 Of the english renaissance 9 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,096 The triumph of classical over gothic... 10 00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,531 He's down. 11 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:35,435 Sir kenneth clark is down in eight seconds. 12 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,938 But he's up again, he's up at six. 13 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,774 The almost ordered facades of palladio's villas reflect... 14 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,910 And he's down again 15 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:48,849 And I don't think he's going to get up this time. 16 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:54,988 No, so jack bodell has defeated sir kenneth clark 17 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,424 In the very first round here tonight. 18 00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:00,594 And so this big lincolnshire heavyweight becomes 19 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:04,965 The new oxford professor of fine art. 20 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,633 Thank you. 21 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:07,968 Thank you. 22 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,304 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 23 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,140 And now... 24 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,810 It's... 25 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:24,551 Monty python's flying circuseses. 26 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:12,799 Stand and deliver! 27 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:16,170 Drop that gun! 28 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:19,039 Let that be a warning to you all. 29 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:22,042 You move at your peril for I have two pistols here. 30 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,344 I know one of them isn't loaded anymore 31 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:27,681 But the other one is, so that's one of you dead for sure 32 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,183 Or just about for sure anyway. 33 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:30,417 It certainly wouldn't be 34 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,785 Worth your while risking it 35 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,253 Because I'm a very good shot. 36 00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,288 I practice every day. 37 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,989 Well, not absolutely every day 38 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,491 But most days in the week. 39 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:41,995 I expect I must practice four or five times a week... 40 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,730 At least... at least four or five 41 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,666 Only some weekends, like last weekend 42 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:46,900 There wasn't much time 43 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,836 So that brings the average down a bit. 44 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,537 But I should say 45 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:54,174 It's definitely a solid four days' practice every week 46 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,609 At least. 47 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,544 I mean, I reckon I could hit that tree over there-- 48 00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,979 The one behind the hillock. 49 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,615 Not the big hillock, the little hillock on the left. 50 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,016 You can see the three trees-- 51 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,151 The third from the left 52 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,619 And back a bit, that one-- 53 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:10,357 I reckon I could hit that four times out of five... 54 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:11,892 On a good day. 55 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:16,129 Say, with this wind, say... say, seven times out of ten. 56 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,431 What-- that tree there? 57 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:17,998 Which one? 58 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,132 The big beech 59 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,567 With the sort of bare branch 60 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:21,935 Coming out of the top left. 61 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,403 No, no, not that one. 62 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,372 No, no, he means the one over there. 63 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,140 Look, do you see that one there? 64 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,208 Yes. 65 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,177 Well, now go two along to the right. 66 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,079 Just near that little bush. 67 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,381 Well, it's the one just behind it. 68 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,049 Ah, the elm! 69 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,551 That's not an elm. 70 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,987 An elm's got sort of great clumps of leaves like that. 71 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:44,658 That's either a beech or a, um... a, uh... a hornbeam. 72 00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,059 A hornbeam? 73 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,127 No, not a hornbeam. 74 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,395 What's the tree that has 75 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,430 A leaf with sort of regular veins coming out 76 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,399 And the veins go all the way out to the... 77 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:52,966 Serrated! 78 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,668 To the serrated edges? 79 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:55,702 A willow. 80 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,570 That's right. 81 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,405 That's nothing like a willow. 82 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,307 Well, it doesn't matter anyway. 83 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:03,744 I could hit it seven times out of ten-- that's the point. 84 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:04,745 Never a willow. 85 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,346 Shut up! 86 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:09,383 This is a holdup, not a botany lesson. 87 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:14,054 Right! now, my fine friends, no false moves, please. 88 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,224 I want you to hand over all the lupins you've got. 89 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,559 Lupins?! 90 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,028 Yes, lupins, come on, come on! 91 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,863 What do you mean-- lupins? 92 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,965 Don't try and play for time. 93 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:25,999 I'm not. 94 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,134 You mean the flower lupins? 95 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,402 That's right. 96 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,570 Well, we haven't got any lupins. 97 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,737 Honestly. 98 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,039 Look, my fine friends 99 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,843 I happen to know that this is the lupin express. 100 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,145 You must be out of your tiny mind. 101 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,680 Get out of the coach. 102 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:43,083 Come on, get out! 103 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,888 Just as I thought. 104 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,091 Not clever enough, my fine friends. 105 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,528 Come on, concorde. 106 00:04:55,896 --> 00:05:00,200 Well, so much for the lupins. 107 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,402 Dennis moore, dennis moore 108 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,404 Galloping through the sward 109 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,573 Dennis moore, dennis moore 110 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,242 And his horse, concorde 111 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,410 He steals from the rich 112 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,579 And gives to the poor 113 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:14,248 Mr. moore 114 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,415 Mr. moore... 115 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,750 Here we are, I'll be back. 116 00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,586 Mr. moore. 117 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,229 Morning, mrs. trepidatious. 118 00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:31,331 Oh, I don't know what's good about it. 119 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,734 My right arm's hanging off something awful. 120 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,636 Oh, you want to have that seen to. 121 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,304 What-- by that dr. morrison? 122 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,574 He's killed more patients than I've had severe boils. 123 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,976 What do the stars say? 124 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,445 Well, petula clark says burst them early 125 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,147 But david frost... 126 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,782 No, the stars in the paper 127 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:52,753 You cloth-eared heap of anteater's catarrh. 128 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,656 The zodiacal signs, the horoscopic fates 129 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,524 The astrological portents 130 00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:00,561 The omens, the genethliac prognostications 131 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:04,431 The mantalogical harbingers, the vaticinal utterances 132 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:08,001 The fratidical premonitory utterances of the mantalogical omens. 133 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,637 What do the bleeding stars in the paper predict 134 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,440 Forecast, prophesy, foretell, prognosticate... 135 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:16,076 And this is where you at home can join in. 136 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,644 Forebode, bode, augur, spell... 137 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,113 Foretoken, presage, portend 138 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:23,617 Foreshow, foreshadow, fore-run 139 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:28,288 Herald, point to, betoken, indicate?! 140 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:29,957 I don't know. 141 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,458 What are you? 142 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:32,693 I'm nesbitt. 143 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,697 There's not a zodiacal sign called nesbitt. 144 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,132 All right, derry and toms. 145 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:43,804 "aquarius, scorpio, virgo, derry and toms. 146 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:48,675 April 29 to march 22, even dates only." 147 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:49,877 Well, what does it presage? 148 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,479 "you have green, scaly skin 149 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,348 "and a soft yellow underbelly 150 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,216 "with a series of finlike ridges 151 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,151 "running down your spine and tail. 152 00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,686 "although lizardlike in shape 153 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,089 "you can grow anything up to 30 feet in length 154 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,324 "with huge teeth that can bite off 155 00:07:04,358 --> 00:07:05,826 "great rocks and trees. 156 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,295 "you inhabit arid subtropical zones 157 00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,163 And wear spectacles." 158 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,833 Hmm, it's very good about the spectacles. 159 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,368 It's amazing! 160 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,136 Hmm, what's yours, irene? 161 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,137 Basil. 162 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:18,472 I'm sorry, what's yours, basil? 163 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:21,008 No, that's my star sign-- basil. 164 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,342 There isn't a star sign... 165 00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:23,577 Yes, there is. 166 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,146 "aquarius, sagittarius, derry and toms 167 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:30,017 Basil-- june 21 till june 22." 168 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,385 Well, what does it say? 169 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,153 "you have green, scaly skin 170 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,656 "and a series of yellow underbellies running down 171 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,124 Your spine and tail..." 172 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,158 That's exactly the same! 173 00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:39,826 Oh! try another one. 174 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,528 What's aquarius? 175 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,930 It's a zodiacal sign. 176 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,665 I know that! 177 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:48,168 What's it say in the paper, mrs. flan-and-pickle? 178 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,404 All right. 179 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,840 Oh! it says, "a wonderful day ahead. 180 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:56,109 "you'll be surrounded by family and friends. 181 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,278 "roger moore will drop in for lunch 182 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,247 "bringing tony curtis with him. 183 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,117 "in the afternoon, a substantial cash sum will come your way. 184 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,387 "in the evening, petula clark will visit your home 185 00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:09,957 "accompanied by the mike sammes singers. 186 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,960 "she will sing for you in your own living room. 187 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,996 "before you go to bed, peter wyngarde will come 188 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,465 And declare his undying love for you." 189 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,534 Both: eww! 190 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,602 What's scorpio? 191 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,537 Oh, that's very good. 192 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:27,274 "you will have lunch with a school friend of duane eddy's 193 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,842 "who will insist on whistling 194 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,211 "some of duane's greatest instrumental hits. 195 00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:32,913 "in the afternoon, you will die. 196 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,181 You will be buried..." 197 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,516 Good morning. 198 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:36,817 Oh, morning, doctor. 199 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,520 And how's the old arm this morning, mrs. ikon? 200 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,788 Oh, it's still hanging off at the shoulder. 201 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:46,026 Good, well, let's have a look at it, shall we? 202 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,528 Oh, damn! 203 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,197 Oh, damn this wretched little bag. 204 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,534 Oh, damn, this wretched, bloody little bag. 205 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,970 If there's one thing I hate about being a doctor 206 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,673 It's this wretched, bloody little bag. 207 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:03,377 Oh, damn this wretched, bloody little bag! 208 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,712 Damn it! 209 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,148 Damn that wretched little bag. 210 00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:12,486 Damn you wretched little bag! 211 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:19,626 There, right. 212 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,998 What's that doing in here? 213 00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:28,168 Right! well... 214 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:32,072 Hand over the money. 215 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,277 Come on, all of it. 216 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,918 Thank you. 217 00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,387 Yes, that seems to be okay. 218 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:51,725 I'll just test your reflexes. 219 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,628 Everything seems to be okay. 220 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,029 I'll see you next week. 221 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,931 Keep collecting the pensions 222 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,067 And try not to spend too much on food. 223 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,301 Thank you, doctor. 224 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,503 Morning, mr. henson. 225 00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:03,570 How are we today? 226 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,905 Not too bad, doctor. 227 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,407 Okay, take it easy. 228 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,576 Expecting any postal orders this week? 229 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,577 No. 230 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,578 Righto. 231 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:12,980 Ah, mr. rodgers, have you got 232 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,581 Your unemployment benefits, please? 233 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,083 Right-- well, can you write me 234 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,786 A check then, please? 235 00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,757 Thank you very much. 236 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:27,261 Soon have you down to nothing. 237 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:30,797 Ah, mr. millichope. 238 00:11:44,338 --> 00:11:48,575 Hmm... two hours left to do. 239 00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:08,862 Ooh, lovely! 240 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,566 Dinner's ready, dear. 241 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,335 Sorry, your time's up, mr. spewm. 242 00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:17,604 I'm afraid you lose both the 3p suite 243 00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:21,808 And your youngest daughter. 244 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,006 Hello. 245 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,875 Should there be another television channel 246 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,510 Or should there not? 247 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,745 On tonight's program, the minister for broadcasting 248 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,647 The right honorable mr. ian throat m.p. 249 00:13:00,681 --> 00:13:01,615 Good evening. 250 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:02,883 The chairman 251 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,385 Of amalgamated money tv, sir abe sappenheim. 252 00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:06,320 Good evening. 253 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,855 The shadow spokesman 254 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,823 For television, lord kinwoodie. 255 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:10,757 Hello. 256 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:11,825 And a television critic 257 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:12,860 Mr. patrick loone. 258 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:13,894 Hello. 259 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,262 Gentlemen 260 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,998 Should there be a fourth television channel or not? 261 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,333 Ian? 262 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:20,300 Yes. 263 00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:21,001 Francis? 264 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:21,502 Nope. 265 00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:22,035 Sir abe? 266 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:22,536 Yes. 267 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:23,036 Patrick? 268 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:23,570 No. 269 00:13:23,604 --> 00:13:24,972 Well, there you have it-- 270 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,673 Two say "will," two say "won't." 271 00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:29,776 We'll be back again next week, and next week's great debate 272 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,579 Will be about government interference in broadcasting 273 00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:37,317 And will be canceled mysteriously. 274 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:53,800 Just starting on bbc 1 now, victoria regina 275 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,670 The inspiring tale of the simple crofter's daughter 276 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,373 Who worked her way up to become queen of england 277 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:02,809 And empress of the greatest empire television has ever seen. 278 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:06,547 On bbc 2 now, episode three of george i 279 00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,081 The new 116-part serial 280 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,884 About the famous english king who hasn't been done yet. 281 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:14,354 On itv now, the... 282 00:14:17,558 --> 00:14:20,360 ...but absolutely delightful. 283 00:14:20,394 --> 00:14:24,198 But, of course, you know, who cares? 284 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,799 Ah! 'tis my lord of buckingham. 285 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,167 Pray welcome, your grace. 286 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:28,535 Thank you, grantley. 287 00:14:28,569 --> 00:14:29,970 Ladies, may i introduce to you 288 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,505 The man who prophesied 289 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,707 That a german monarch would soon embroil this country 290 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:34,875 In continental affairs. 291 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,677 Oh, how so, my lord? 292 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,213 Madam, you will recall that, prior to his accession 293 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,715 Our gracious sovereign george had become involved 294 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,383 In the long-standing northern war 295 00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:45,385 Through his claim to bremen and verdun. 296 00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:46,920 These duchies would provide 297 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,055 An outlet to the sea 298 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,823 Of the utmost value to hanover. 299 00:14:49,857 --> 00:14:51,191 The treaty of westphalia 300 00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,826 Has assigned them to sweden. 301 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:53,827 In 1648. 302 00:14:53,861 --> 00:14:55,062 Exactly. 303 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,030 Meanwhile, frederick william of denmark 304 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,399 Taking advantage of the absence of charles xii 305 00:14:59,433 --> 00:15:01,201 Seized them-- 1712. 306 00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:02,269 Oh, yes. 307 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,337 It all falls into place-- more wine? 308 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,638 Oh, thank you. 309 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,673 However, just prior to his accession 310 00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:08,242 George had made an alliance 311 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,110 With frederick william of prussia 312 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,012 On the grounds of party feeling. 313 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,948 While frederick william had married george's only daughter. 314 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:15,949 I remember the wedding. 315 00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,184 But chiefly, through concern 316 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:21,288 At the concerted action... 317 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,956 Stand and deliver! 318 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,324 Dennis moore! 319 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:25,425 The same. 320 00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:27,227 And now, my lords, my ladies 321 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:28,762 Your lupins, please. 322 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,564 Our what? 323 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,901 Come, come, don't play games with me, my lord of buckingham. 324 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,102 What can you mean? 325 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,471 Your life or your lupins 326 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:40,140 My lord. 327 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,317 In a bunch, in a bunch. 328 00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:52,686 Thank you, my friends. 329 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:57,424 And now a good evening to you all. 330 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,130 He seeks them here, he seeks them there 331 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,466 He seeks those lupins everywhere. 332 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,001 The murdering blackguard! 333 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,636 He's taken all our lupins. 334 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,972 Not quite. 335 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,473 Oh, you tricked him. 336 00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:14,875 We still have one. 337 00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:17,477 Hooray! 338 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:23,684 Dennis moore, dennis moore, riding through the night 339 00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:27,354 Soon every lupin in the land will be in his mighty hand 340 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:31,758 He steals them from the rich and gives them to the poor 341 00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:33,794 Mr. moore 342 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,629 Mr. moore 343 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,432 Mr. moore. 344 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,039 Try to eat some, my dear. 345 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,509 It'll give you strength. 346 00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:51,411 Oh, mr. moore, mr. moore, she's going fast. 347 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:52,546 Don't worry, I've... 348 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,114 I've brought you something. 349 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,282 Medicine, at last? 350 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,283 No. 351 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,117 Food? 352 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:57,751 Nope. 353 00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:58,886 Blankets? 354 00:16:58,919 --> 00:17:00,387 Clothes, wood for the fire? 355 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,356 Nope. 356 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,724 Lupins! 357 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,492 Oh, christ! 358 00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:06,560 I thought you'd like them. 359 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,462 I'm sick to bloody death of them! 360 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,663 So am i! 361 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:10,664 She's bloody dying 362 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,232 And all you bring us is lupins! 363 00:17:12,266 --> 00:17:15,669 All we've eaten, mate, for the last four bleeding weeks 364 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:19,106 Is lupin soup, roast lupin, steamed lupin 365 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,974 Braised lupin in lupin sauce 366 00:17:21,008 --> 00:17:23,577 Lupin in the basket with sauteed lupins 367 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:26,380 Lupin meringue pie, lupin sorbet. 368 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:29,082 We sit on lupins, we sleep in lupins 369 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:31,018 We feed the cat on lupins 370 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:35,722 We burn lupins, we even wear the bloody things! 371 00:17:35,756 --> 00:17:36,924 Looks very smart. 372 00:17:36,957 --> 00:17:38,225 Oh, shut up! 373 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:43,764 We're sick to death with the stench of them! 374 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,265 Look! 375 00:17:45,299 --> 00:17:48,368 The cat's just choked itself to death on them! 376 00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:50,571 I don't care if I never see another lupin 377 00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:51,972 Till the day I die! 378 00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:54,942 Why don't you go out and steal something useful? 379 00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:55,976 Like what? 380 00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,178 Like gold and silver and clothes 381 00:17:58,212 --> 00:17:59,980 And wood and jewels and... 382 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,349 Hang on, I'll get a piece of paper. 383 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:07,154 Dennis moore, dennis moore, dum, dum, dum, the night. 384 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:11,058 Dennis moore, dennis moore, dum, de, dum, dum, plight. 385 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:15,128 He steals dum, dum, dum and dum, dum, dum, dum, dee 386 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:20,367 Dennis, dum, dennis, dee, dum, dum, dum. 387 00:18:21,702 --> 00:18:23,170 This, coupled with the presence 388 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,172 Of peter and his prussians in mecklenburg 389 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,007 And charles and his swedes in pomerania 390 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,910 Made george and stanhope eager to come to terms with france. 391 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,512 Meanwhile, a breach had now opened with... 392 00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,747 Oh, no, not again! 393 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,815 Oh, come on! 394 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:36,149 Stand and deliver again! 395 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:40,454 Your money, your jewelry, your... hang on... 396 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:43,624 Your clothes, your snuff, your ornaments 397 00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:46,527 Your glassware, your pussy cats... 398 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,428 Don't say anything about the lupin. 399 00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,697 Your watches, your lace, your spittoons... 400 00:18:50,731 --> 00:18:54,101 Dennis moore, dennis moore, riding through the woods 401 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:57,938 Dennis moore, dennis moore, with a bag of things 402 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:02,042 He gives to the poor and he takes from the rich 403 00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:05,245 Dennis moore, dennis moore... 404 00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:06,280 Here we are. 405 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:09,349 Dennis moore. 406 00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:15,355 Well, it may be the end of that 407 00:19:15,389 --> 00:19:16,857 But it's certainly far from the end of... 408 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,725 Well, in fact, it's the beginning... 409 00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:20,194 Well, not quite the beginning. 410 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,362 Well, certainly nearer the beginning than the end... 411 00:19:22,396 --> 00:19:24,698 Well, yes, damn it, it is, to all intents and purposes 412 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,900 The beginning of this year's ideal loon exhibition 413 00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:28,535 Sponsored by the daily express. 414 00:19:28,569 --> 00:19:30,904 Numbskulls and boobies from all over the country 415 00:19:30,938 --> 00:19:33,507 Have been arriving to go through their strange paces 416 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,942 Before a large paying crowd. 417 00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:37,010 This is the 15th ideal loon exhibition 418 00:19:37,044 --> 00:19:38,679 And we took a good look round 419 00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:43,383 After it was opened by its patron. 420 00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,686 Here's kevin bruce, the digger duffer from down under 421 00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:48,088 Who's ranked 14th in the world's silly positions league. 422 00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,324 This kind of incoherent behavior 423 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:53,327 Is really beginning to catch on down under. 424 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,929 There's norman kirby, from new zealand, whose specialty 425 00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:58,732 Is standing behind a screen with a lady with no clothes on. 426 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,634 In real life, norman is a gynecologist 427 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,069 But this is his lunch hour. 428 00:20:02,102 --> 00:20:04,137 And from france 429 00:20:04,171 --> 00:20:06,707 There's a superb exhibition of rather silly behavior 430 00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:09,142 By the friends of the free french osteopaths. 431 00:20:09,176 --> 00:20:12,713 ...trois, un, deux, trois, un, deux, trois 432 00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:15,282 Un, deux, trois, un, deux, trois... 433 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,851 They do this over 400 times a day. 434 00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,186 Nobody knows why. 435 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,021 But for sheer pointless behavior 436 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,956 You've got to admire brian broomers 437 00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:25,392 The battling british boy who, for two weeks 438 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,829 Has been suspended over a tin of condemned veal. 439 00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:30,397 Always popular with the crowd 440 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,466 Is the scotsman with nae trews exhibit 441 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,368 And this year's no exception. 442 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:37,571 Sponsored by natural gas and glasgow city council 443 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,773 This exhibit is entirely supported 444 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,642 By voluntary contributions. 445 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,377 But for a truly magnificent waste of time 446 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,346 You've got to go no further than the exhibit from italy-- 447 00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:47,714 Italian priests in custard 448 00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:49,583 Discussing vital matters of the day. 449 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,785 These lads from a seminary near cremona 450 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,221 Have been practicing for well over a year. 451 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,356 As always, one of the great attractions 452 00:20:56,390 --> 00:20:57,758 Of this 14-day exhibition 453 00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,626 Is the display of counter marching 454 00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:02,229 Given by the massed pipes and toilet requisites 455 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:06,166 Of the colwyn bay massed pipes and toilet requisites club. 456 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,936 An interesting point about these boys is 457 00:21:08,969 --> 00:21:12,406 They all have one thing in common-- hip injuries. 458 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,942 Not far away, the crowds are flocking to see 459 00:21:14,975 --> 00:21:19,580 A member of the famous royal canadian mounted geese. 460 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:25,519 But the climax of the whole event is the judging. 461 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,157 Mr. justice burke. 462 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,728 Well, that's the last 463 00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:40,367 And let's just see those last six once again. 464 00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:50,511 And the winner is number 41, mr. justice burke. 465 00:22:11,398 --> 00:22:16,036 Attention, attention, suspect heading due north. 466 00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:20,240 Plan 13-a is now in effect. 467 00:22:25,546 --> 00:22:28,015 Whoop! 468 00:22:50,070 --> 00:22:52,005 Yet fear, not like an aged florin 469 00:22:52,039 --> 00:22:53,807 Can so disseminate men's eyes 470 00:22:53,841 --> 00:22:56,343 That fortune, straining at a kissing touch 471 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,145 May stop her ceaseless search 472 00:22:58,178 --> 00:23:00,714 To sport amidst the rampant thrust of time 473 00:23:00,747 --> 00:23:02,616 And bring the thing undone to pass 474 00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:05,285 By that with which the cock may chance an arm. 475 00:23:05,319 --> 00:23:06,620 Well, that's all very well, sir 476 00:23:06,653 --> 00:23:09,189 But this is an off-license. 477 00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:10,924 Uh, just a bottle of sherry then, please. 478 00:23:10,958 --> 00:23:12,159 Certainly, um, amontillado? 479 00:23:12,192 --> 00:23:14,094 Yes, I think amontillado-- 480 00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:15,929 Finely grown, well-chosen 481 00:23:15,963 --> 00:23:18,198 From the cask of pluto's hills 482 00:23:18,232 --> 00:23:20,501 Cell'd deep within the vinous soil of spain 483 00:23:20,534 --> 00:23:23,136 Wrench'd thence from fiery regions of the sun... 484 00:23:23,170 --> 00:23:24,605 Yes, yes, sir, just one bottle? 485 00:23:24,638 --> 00:23:26,039 Just one bottle. 486 00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:27,207 Just one jot. 487 00:23:27,241 --> 00:23:28,208 Just one tittle. 488 00:23:28,242 --> 00:23:29,209 That's the lot. 489 00:23:29,243 --> 00:23:30,210 There we are, sir. 490 00:23:30,244 --> 00:23:31,445 That'll be a pound, sir. 491 00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:32,613 A pound, a pound 492 00:23:32,646 --> 00:23:34,281 And all around abound a pound found found 493 00:23:34,314 --> 00:23:36,016 Lost lost the cost till was't embossed... 494 00:23:36,049 --> 00:23:37,184 Excuse me, sir. 495 00:23:37,217 --> 00:23:39,286 Yes, good victualler, nature's trencherman 496 00:23:39,319 --> 00:23:40,454 Mine honest tapster... 497 00:23:40,487 --> 00:23:42,322 I was just wondering, are you a poet? 498 00:23:42,356 --> 00:23:44,525 No, no, I'm... I'm a solicitor. 499 00:23:44,558 --> 00:23:46,159 A solicitor... oh. 500 00:23:46,193 --> 00:23:48,061 Well-versed within the written law of man 501 00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:49,396 Who can to those who need... 502 00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:51,198 Oh, shut up! 503 00:23:51,231 --> 00:23:52,199 I'm sorry. 504 00:23:52,232 --> 00:23:54,568 I'm afraid I've caught poetry. 505 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:55,702 Oh, really? 506 00:23:55,736 --> 00:23:56,837 Well, don't worry, sir 507 00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:58,672 I used to suffer from short stories. 508 00:23:58,705 --> 00:23:59,907 Really? when? 509 00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:03,610 Oh, once upon a time. 510 00:24:04,178 --> 00:24:05,479 There lived in wiltshire 511 00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:07,314 A young chap called dennis moore. 512 00:24:07,347 --> 00:24:08,849 Now, dennis was a highwayman by profession 513 00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:10,017 And for several months 514 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:11,818 He'd been stealing from the rich 515 00:24:11,852 --> 00:24:13,220 To give to the poor. 516 00:24:13,253 --> 00:24:16,056 One day... 517 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,693 Here we are again. 518 00:24:19,726 --> 00:24:22,696 Mr. jenkins? 519 00:24:22,729 --> 00:24:23,697 There we are. 520 00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:25,732 I'll be back. 521 00:24:25,766 --> 00:24:27,634 Meanwhile, frederick william, busily engaged 522 00:24:27,668 --> 00:24:29,536 In defending against the three great powers 523 00:24:29,570 --> 00:24:30,671 The province of silesia... 524 00:24:30,704 --> 00:24:31,805 Which he had seized 525 00:24:31,839 --> 00:24:32,940 In the war of the austrian succession 526 00:24:32,973 --> 00:24:33,941 Against his word. 527 00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,042 Yes, I remember. 528 00:24:35,075 --> 00:24:38,412 Was now dependent on pitt's subsidies. 529 00:24:38,445 --> 00:24:42,449 My lords, my ladies, on your feet, please! 530 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,551 I must ask you to do exactly as I say 531 00:24:44,585 --> 00:24:49,189 Or I shall be forced to shoot you right between the eyes! 532 00:24:49,223 --> 00:24:50,924 Well, not right between the eyes, I mean... 533 00:24:50,958 --> 00:24:52,226 When I say "between the eyes" 534 00:24:52,259 --> 00:24:53,961 Obviously I don't have to be that accurate. 535 00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:56,430 I mean, if I hit you in that sort of area, like that 536 00:24:56,463 --> 00:24:58,098 Obviously, that's all right for me. 537 00:24:58,131 --> 00:24:59,399 I mean, I don't have to try 538 00:24:59,433 --> 00:25:00,868 And sort of hit a point bisecting a line 539 00:25:00,901 --> 00:25:02,703 Drawn between your pupils, or anything like that. 540 00:25:02,736 --> 00:25:05,005 I mean, from my point of view, it's perfectly satisfactory... 541 00:25:05,038 --> 00:25:06,507 What do you want? 542 00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:08,075 Why are you here? 543 00:25:08,108 --> 00:25:09,610 Well, why are any of us here? 544 00:25:09,643 --> 00:25:11,345 I mean, when you get down to it 545 00:25:11,378 --> 00:25:13,146 It's all so meaningless, isn't it? 546 00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:14,882 I mean, what do any of us want? 547 00:25:14,915 --> 00:25:17,050 No, no, what do you want now? 548 00:25:17,084 --> 00:25:18,385 Oh, I see, oh, just the usual things 549 00:25:18,418 --> 00:25:19,720 A little place of my own, the right girl... 550 00:25:19,753 --> 00:25:20,888 No, no, no! 551 00:25:20,921 --> 00:25:23,423 What do you want from us? 552 00:25:23,457 --> 00:25:27,794 Oh, um... your gold, your silver, your jewelry. 553 00:25:27,828 --> 00:25:29,029 You've taken it all. 554 00:25:29,062 --> 00:25:30,764 This is all we've got left. 555 00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:32,432 That's nice. 556 00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:34,601 I'll have them. 557 00:25:34,635 --> 00:25:35,802 Come on. 558 00:25:35,836 --> 00:25:38,338 You'd better take the bloody lupin, too. 559 00:25:38,372 --> 00:25:39,373 Thank you very much. 560 00:25:39,406 --> 00:25:43,710 I've gone through that stage. 561 00:25:44,278 --> 00:25:50,050 Dennis moore, dennis moore, etcetera, etcetera. 562 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,355 What you got for us today, then? 563 00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:56,857 Well, I've managed to find you 564 00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:59,560 Four very nice silver spoons, mr. jenkins. 565 00:25:59,593 --> 00:26:00,994 Who do you think you are 566 00:26:01,028 --> 00:26:02,729 Giving us poor this rubbish? 567 00:26:02,763 --> 00:26:04,198 Bloody silver-- 568 00:26:04,231 --> 00:26:05,699 Won't have it in the house. 569 00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:06,967 And those candlesticks 570 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,101 You got us last week 571 00:26:08,135 --> 00:26:09,469 Were only 16-carat. 572 00:26:09,503 --> 00:26:11,638 Yeah, why don't you go out and steal something nice 573 00:26:11,672 --> 00:26:12,806 Like some venetian silver? 574 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,877 Or a velasquez for the outside loo. 575 00:26:16,910 --> 00:26:18,912 Oh, all right. 576 00:26:18,946 --> 00:26:22,883 Dennis moore, dennis moore, riding through the land 577 00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:26,720 Dennis moore, dennis moore, without a merry band 578 00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:31,325 He steals from the poor and gives to the rich 579 00:26:31,358 --> 00:26:32,659 Stupid bitch. 580 00:26:32,693 --> 00:26:34,294 What did you sing? 581 00:26:34,328 --> 00:26:39,967 We sang, "he steals from the poor and gives to the rich." 582 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,870 Wait a tic... 583 00:26:42,903 --> 00:26:44,905 Blimey, this redistribution of wealth 584 00:26:44,938 --> 00:26:48,375 Is trickier than I thought. 585 00:26:48,408 --> 00:26:51,512 Good evening, and welcome to another edition of prejudice 586 00:26:51,545 --> 00:26:53,981 The show that gives you a chance to have a go 587 00:26:54,014 --> 00:26:57,184 At wops, krauts, nigs, eyeties, gippos, bubbles, froggies 588 00:26:57,217 --> 00:27:03,223 Chinks, yidds, jocks, polacks, paddies and dagoes. 589 00:27:03,323 --> 00:27:04,892 Tonight's show comes live 590 00:27:04,925 --> 00:27:07,995 From the tiny village of rabid in buckinghamshire. 591 00:27:08,028 --> 00:27:11,365 And our first question tonight is from a mrs. elizabeth scrint 592 00:27:11,398 --> 00:27:14,501 Who says she is going on a mediterranean cruise next week 593 00:27:14,535 --> 00:27:17,571 And can't find anything wrong with the syrians. 594 00:27:17,604 --> 00:27:19,339 Well, mrs. scrint, apart from being 595 00:27:19,373 --> 00:27:21,608 Totally unprincipled, left-wing troublemakers 596 00:27:21,642 --> 00:27:23,343 The syrians are also born skivers. 597 00:27:23,377 --> 00:27:25,312 They're dirty, smelly and untrustworthy 598 00:27:25,345 --> 00:27:30,250 And, of course, they're friends of the awful gippos. 599 00:27:30,284 --> 00:27:31,618 Well, there you are, mrs. scrint. 600 00:27:31,652 --> 00:27:33,320 Hope that answers some of your problems. 601 00:27:33,353 --> 00:27:34,855 Have a nice trip. 602 00:27:34,888 --> 00:27:37,925 Well, now, the result of last week's competition 603 00:27:37,958 --> 00:27:39,259 When we asked you 604 00:27:39,293 --> 00:27:41,895 To find a derogatory term for the belgians. 605 00:27:41,929 --> 00:27:43,564 Well, the response was enormous 606 00:27:43,597 --> 00:27:46,433 And we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. 607 00:27:46,466 --> 00:27:48,202 There were some very clever entries. 608 00:27:48,235 --> 00:27:49,703 A mrs. hatred, of leicester, said 609 00:27:49,736 --> 00:27:55,642 "let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them." 610 00:27:55,676 --> 00:27:58,145 And a mr. st. john, of huntingdon, said 611 00:27:58,178 --> 00:28:04,484 He couldn't think of anything more derogatory than "belgians." 612 00:28:04,518 --> 00:28:07,855 But in the end, we settled on three choices. 613 00:28:07,888 --> 00:28:10,224 Number three, "the sprouts" 614 00:28:10,257 --> 00:28:13,360 Sent in by mrs. vicious, of hastings. 615 00:28:13,393 --> 00:28:14,862 Very nice. 616 00:28:14,895 --> 00:28:16,797 Number two, "the phlegms" 617 00:28:16,830 --> 00:28:20,834 From mrs. childmolester, of worthing. 618 00:28:20,868 --> 00:28:22,503 But the winner was undoubtedly 619 00:28:22,536 --> 00:28:25,539 From mrs. no-supper-for-you, from norwood in lancashire 620 00:28:25,572 --> 00:28:30,277 "miserable, fat belgian bastards." 621 00:28:33,013 --> 00:28:36,884 Very good, very good, thank you, carol. 622 00:28:36,917 --> 00:28:38,785 But, as you know, on this program 623 00:28:38,819 --> 00:28:42,556 We're not just prejudiced against race or color. 624 00:28:42,589 --> 00:28:45,359 We're also prejudiced against-- yes, you've guessed-- 625 00:28:45,392 --> 00:28:49,062 Stinking homosexuals! 626 00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:52,599 So before the streets start emptying in chelsea tonight 627 00:28:52,633 --> 00:28:55,602 Let's go straight over to our popular prejudiced panel game 628 00:28:55,636 --> 00:29:00,674 And invite you once again to "shoot the poof"! 629 00:29:00,707 --> 00:29:06,480 And could our first contestant sign in, please? 630 00:29:08,215 --> 00:29:13,520 Our first contestant is a hairdresser from... 631 00:29:13,554 --> 00:29:18,926 Ooh, I never did like that kind of person. 632 00:29:25,566 --> 00:29:28,435 Halt! halt! 633 00:29:28,836 --> 00:29:31,471 Gentlemen, ladies, bring out your valuables, please. 634 00:29:31,505 --> 00:29:32,472 Oh, no! 635 00:29:32,506 --> 00:29:34,241 Come along, sir, come along. 636 00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:37,411 Come along, madam. 637 00:29:37,444 --> 00:29:39,913 Now... 638 00:29:40,380 --> 00:29:41,348 Is that all you've got? 639 00:29:41,381 --> 00:29:43,116 Yes. 640 00:29:43,150 --> 00:29:44,818 Well, he's got much more than you 641 00:29:44,852 --> 00:29:46,520 So you'd better have some of his. 642 00:29:46,553 --> 00:29:47,821 He's got a lot of these. 643 00:29:47,855 --> 00:29:50,157 Oh, sorry... pick them up in a moment. 644 00:29:50,190 --> 00:29:52,826 There's about, oh, what, nine down there 645 00:29:52,860 --> 00:29:54,094 So you must have about... 646 00:29:54,127 --> 00:29:55,696 Oh, he's still got lots... 647 00:29:55,729 --> 00:29:56,763 You've got what? 648 00:29:56,797 --> 00:29:58,832 You've got more than he started with 649 00:29:58,866 --> 00:30:00,901 So if I give you some of those... 650 00:30:00,934 --> 00:30:04,371 Uh, well, now, look, if I give you that, uh... 651 00:30:04,404 --> 00:30:05,939 Have you got a bit of jewelry? 652 00:30:05,973 --> 00:30:07,407 Yes, if I give you that one 653 00:30:07,441 --> 00:30:11,979 And you have some of his coins... 654 00:30:12,012 --> 00:30:13,614 Is that another box? 655 00:30:13,647 --> 00:30:17,818 Were you trying to hide it? 656 00:30:18,685 --> 00:30:21,688 Ooh, that's nice! 657 00:30:21,722 --> 00:30:22,856 I'll have that. 658 00:30:22,890 --> 00:30:23,857 Right. 659 00:30:23,891 --> 00:30:24,892 Now, I've got a tiara... 660 00:30:24,925 --> 00:30:25,893 You've got one, you've got one. 661 00:30:25,926 --> 00:30:27,094 You've got one of the boxes. 662 00:30:27,127 --> 00:30:28,095 You've got one. 663 00:30:28,128 --> 00:30:32,032 Anyone else got a tiara? 664 00:30:32,165 --> 00:30:35,602 Take your hat off. 665 00:30:36,737 --> 00:30:37,704 Oh, honestly 666 00:30:37,738 --> 00:30:38,939 It's absolutely pointless 667 00:30:38,972 --> 00:30:41,041 Trying to do this if you're going to cheat. 668 00:30:41,074 --> 00:30:45,145 It really is awful of you. 669 00:30:47,881 --> 00:30:49,683 I thought you should have won. 670 00:30:49,716 --> 00:30:52,119 I mean, judicially, you swept the board. 671 00:30:52,152 --> 00:30:54,087 All right, he had posture 672 00:30:54,121 --> 00:30:56,256 But where was he in the summing up? 673 00:30:56,290 --> 00:31:00,194 Oh, shut up, melford, there's always next year.