1 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:54,984 Taking life as it comes-- sharing the good things... 2 00:00:55,017 --> 00:00:56,218 And the bad things. 3 00:00:56,252 --> 00:00:59,288 Finding laughter and fun wherever they go. 4 00:00:59,321 --> 00:01:02,324 It's with these two happy-go-lucky rogues 5 00:01:02,358 --> 00:01:06,128 That our story begins. 6 00:01:08,531 --> 00:01:12,668 For it is they who were run over by alex diamond-- 7 00:01:12,702 --> 00:01:15,438 International crime fighter and playboy... 8 00:01:15,471 --> 00:01:17,273 Fast-moving, tough-talking 9 00:01:17,306 --> 00:01:20,076 And just one of the many hundreds of famous people 10 00:01:20,109 --> 00:01:21,510 Who suffer from... lumbago 11 00:01:21,544 --> 00:01:24,347 The endemic disease about which no one knows more 12 00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:27,283 Than this man, dr. emile koning-- 13 00:01:27,316 --> 00:01:29,785 Doctor, surgeon, proctologist 14 00:01:29,819 --> 00:01:32,221 And selfless fighter against human suffering 15 00:01:32,254 --> 00:01:35,725 Whose doorbell was the one above the hero of our story tonight-- 16 00:01:35,758 --> 00:01:37,793 Rear admiral humphrey de vere. 17 00:01:37,827 --> 00:01:41,263 Yes, this is the story of rear admiral humphrey de vere... 18 00:01:41,297 --> 00:01:43,265 Or rather, the story of his daughter 19 00:01:43,299 --> 00:01:46,235 For it was her courage, foresight and understanding 20 00:01:46,268 --> 00:01:49,572 That enabled us to probe beneath the sophisticated veneer 21 00:01:49,605 --> 00:01:52,441 Of the royal arsenal women's college, bagshot 22 00:01:52,475 --> 00:01:57,747 And learn the true history of this man... 23 00:01:58,114 --> 00:01:59,849 Len hanky-- 24 00:01:59,882 --> 00:02:02,985 Chiropodist, voyeur, hen-teaser 25 00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:05,287 The man of whom the chairman of fiat once said... 26 00:02:05,321 --> 00:02:10,026 Che cosa e lo stucciacatori di polli? 27 00:02:10,059 --> 00:02:11,694 Si. 28 00:02:11,727 --> 00:02:14,630 Yes, tonight we examine the career of gino agnelli 29 00:02:14,663 --> 00:02:16,232 The man who started from nothing 30 00:02:16,265 --> 00:02:18,668 To build up one of the greatest firms in europe 31 00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:21,237 And whose telescope was bought from the shop part-owned 32 00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:23,139 By a man who, at the age of eight, stole a penknife 33 00:02:23,172 --> 00:02:28,477 From the son of this man's brother's housekeeper's dental hygienist's uncle-- 34 00:02:28,511 --> 00:02:31,981 The reverend charlie "drooper" hyper-squawk smith 35 00:02:32,014 --> 00:02:34,283 The cleft-palated r.a.f. chaplain 36 00:02:34,316 --> 00:02:40,523 Who, single-handed, shot down over 500 german chaplains. 37 00:02:40,556 --> 00:02:45,428 This is the story of the men who flew with him. 38 00:02:45,461 --> 00:02:48,497 It really is. 39 00:02:52,101 --> 00:02:54,837 Morning, squadron leader. 40 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,038 What-ho, squiffy. 41 00:02:56,072 --> 00:02:57,206 How was it? 42 00:02:57,239 --> 00:02:58,207 Top hole. 43 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,709 Bally jerry pranged his kite 44 00:02:59,742 --> 00:03:01,444 Right in the how's-your-father. 45 00:03:01,477 --> 00:03:04,613 Hairy blighter dicky-birdied, feathered back on his sammy 46 00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:05,614 Took a waspy 47 00:03:05,648 --> 00:03:07,316 Flipped over on his betty harper's 48 00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:11,020 And caught his can in the bertie. 49 00:03:11,053 --> 00:03:13,923 Er... afraid I don't quite follow you, squadron leader. 50 00:03:13,956 --> 00:03:16,892 It's perfectly ordinary banter, squiffy. 51 00:03:16,926 --> 00:03:19,128 Bally jerry pranged his kite 52 00:03:19,161 --> 00:03:20,696 Right in the how's-your-father. 53 00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:24,133 Hairy blighter dicky-birdied, feathered back on his sammy 54 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:26,836 Took a waspy, flipped over on his betty harper's 55 00:03:26,869 --> 00:03:30,740 And caught his can in the bertie. 56 00:03:30,773 --> 00:03:33,576 No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. 57 00:03:33,609 --> 00:03:35,044 Give us it slower. 58 00:03:35,077 --> 00:03:38,147 Banter's not the same if you say it slower, squiffy. 59 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:39,148 Hold on, then. 60 00:03:39,181 --> 00:03:40,116 Wingco! 61 00:03:40,149 --> 00:03:41,017 Yes? 62 00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:42,018 Bend an ear 63 00:03:42,051 --> 00:03:43,285 To the squadron leader's banter. 64 00:03:43,319 --> 00:03:44,120 Can do. 65 00:03:44,153 --> 00:03:44,787 Jolly good. 66 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,623 Fire away. 67 00:03:49,558 --> 00:03:52,228 Bally jerry... pranged his kite... 68 00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:53,863 Right in the how's-your-father. 69 00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:56,966 Hairy blighter dicky-birdied... 70 00:03:56,999 --> 00:03:59,135 Feathered back on his sammy... 71 00:03:59,168 --> 00:04:02,571 Took a waspy, flipped over on his betty harper's 72 00:04:02,605 --> 00:04:04,640 And caught his can... 73 00:04:04,674 --> 00:04:07,543 In the bertie. 74 00:04:07,576 --> 00:04:11,647 No, I don't understand that banter at all. 75 00:04:11,681 --> 00:04:16,485 Is something up with my banter, chaps? 76 00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:18,487 Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! 77 00:04:18,521 --> 00:04:19,522 Grab your egg and fours 78 00:04:19,555 --> 00:04:24,260 And let's get the bacon delivered. 79 00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:28,197 Do you understand that? 80 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:31,200 No, I didn't get a word of it. 81 00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:32,201 Sorry, old man. 82 00:04:32,234 --> 00:04:34,236 We don't understand your banter. 83 00:04:34,270 --> 00:04:36,205 You know... bally ten-penny ones 84 00:04:36,238 --> 00:04:37,807 Dropping in the custard! 85 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,142 Um... 86 00:04:40,176 --> 00:04:42,878 Charlie choppers chucking a handful. 87 00:04:42,912 --> 00:04:43,913 No, no, sorry. 88 00:04:43,946 --> 00:04:45,781 Say it a bit slower, old chap. 89 00:04:45,815 --> 00:04:47,717 Slower banter, sir? 90 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:48,818 Ra-ther! 91 00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:50,653 Um... 92 00:04:50,686 --> 00:04:53,356 Sausage squad up the blue end! 93 00:04:53,389 --> 00:04:56,025 No, still don't get it. 94 00:04:56,058 --> 00:05:01,497 Um... cabbage crates coming over the briny? 95 00:05:02,765 --> 00:05:05,634 No, no, no. 96 00:05:06,002 --> 00:05:08,137 But by then it was too late. 97 00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:10,906 The first cabbage crates hit london on july 7. 98 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,708 That was just the beginning. 99 00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:14,643 Five shillings a dozen? 100 00:05:14,677 --> 00:05:17,480 That's ordinary cabbages, is it? 101 00:05:17,513 --> 00:05:20,216 And what about the bombs? 102 00:05:20,249 --> 00:05:22,184 Good lord, they are expensive! 103 00:05:22,218 --> 00:05:23,619 Sir! 104 00:05:23,652 --> 00:05:24,854 Yes, what is it? 105 00:05:24,887 --> 00:05:26,689 News from the western front, sir! 106 00:05:26,722 --> 00:05:27,757 Yes? 107 00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:30,659 Big enemy attack at dawn, sir. 108 00:05:30,693 --> 00:05:31,827 Yes? 109 00:05:31,861 --> 00:05:34,430 Well... 110 00:05:35,564 --> 00:05:38,334 The enemy were all wearing little silver halos, sir. 111 00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:41,037 And they had fairy wands with big stars on the end 112 00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:42,238 And... and... 113 00:05:42,271 --> 00:05:43,205 And what? 114 00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:44,473 And they had spiders 115 00:05:44,507 --> 00:05:46,876 In matchboxes, sir. 116 00:05:46,909 --> 00:05:47,877 Good god! 117 00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,178 How did our chaps react? 118 00:05:49,211 --> 00:05:51,280 Well, they were jolly interested, sir. 119 00:05:51,313 --> 00:05:52,948 Some of them-- I think it was 120 00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:54,784 The fourth armored brigade, sir-- 121 00:05:54,817 --> 00:05:55,818 They... they... 122 00:05:55,851 --> 00:05:57,119 Yes? 123 00:05:57,153 --> 00:05:59,388 Well, they went and had a look 124 00:05:59,422 --> 00:06:00,656 At the spiders, sir. 125 00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:01,657 Oh, my god. 126 00:06:01,691 --> 00:06:03,025 Well, thank you, shirley. 127 00:06:03,059 --> 00:06:05,394 Sir! 128 00:06:06,162 --> 00:06:07,530 Get me the prime minister. 129 00:06:07,563 --> 00:06:08,664 Sir! 130 00:06:08,698 --> 00:06:09,665 Not that quickly! 131 00:06:09,699 --> 00:06:12,034 Sir! 132 00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:14,403 Gentlemen, it's now quite apparent 133 00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:17,473 That the enemy are not only fighting this war on the cheap 134 00:06:17,506 --> 00:06:19,642 But they're also not taking it seriously. 135 00:06:19,675 --> 00:06:21,243 Bastards! 136 00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:23,813 First they drop cabbages instead of decent bombs... 137 00:06:23,846 --> 00:06:25,648 Crates were probably quite expensive, sir. 138 00:06:25,681 --> 00:06:27,450 Quiet, critic! 139 00:06:27,483 --> 00:06:29,418 And now they're doing very silly things 140 00:06:29,452 --> 00:06:31,587 In one of the most vital areas of the war. 141 00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,589 What are we going to do, shirley? 142 00:06:33,622 --> 00:06:36,459 Well, we've got to act fast before it saps morale. 143 00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:38,561 We're going to show these chinese... 144 00:06:38,594 --> 00:06:39,562 Germans. 145 00:06:39,595 --> 00:06:40,696 These germans. 146 00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:42,531 We're going to show them 147 00:06:42,565 --> 00:06:46,469 That no british soldier will descend to their level. 148 00:06:46,502 --> 00:06:49,038 Anyone found trivializing this war 149 00:06:49,071 --> 00:06:55,878 Will face the supreme penalty that military law can provide. 150 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,115 That was all right, I think. 151 00:06:59,148 --> 00:07:00,683 Seemed to go quite well. 152 00:07:00,716 --> 00:07:03,586 Sapper walters, you stand before this court 153 00:07:03,619 --> 00:07:07,690 Accused of carrying on the war by other than warlike means-- 154 00:07:07,723 --> 00:07:12,094 To wit, that you did on april 16, 1942 155 00:07:12,128 --> 00:07:14,263 Dressed up as a bag of dainties 156 00:07:14,296 --> 00:07:18,067 Flick wet towels at the enemy during an important offensive. 157 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,301 Well, sir. 158 00:07:19,335 --> 00:07:19,902 Shut up! 159 00:07:19,935 --> 00:07:21,070 Colonel fawcett 160 00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:24,507 For the prosecution. 161 00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:25,841 Sir, we all know... 162 00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:26,242 Shut up. 163 00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:27,777 I'm sorry? 164 00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:28,944 Carry on. 165 00:07:28,978 --> 00:07:31,047 Sir, we all know the facts of the case-- 166 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:32,515 That sapper walters 167 00:07:32,548 --> 00:07:34,850 Being in possession of expensive military equipment-- 168 00:07:34,884 --> 00:07:37,353 To wit, one lee enfield .303 rifle 169 00:07:37,386 --> 00:07:39,388 And 72 rounds of ammunition 170 00:07:39,422 --> 00:07:43,125 Valued at funt140, three shillings and sixpence-- 171 00:07:43,159 --> 00:07:45,361 Chose instead to use wet towels 172 00:07:45,394 --> 00:07:49,432 To take an enemy command post in the area of basingstoke. 173 00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:50,900 Basingstoke? 174 00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:52,168 Basingstoke in hampshire? 175 00:07:52,201 --> 00:07:53,703 No, no, no, sir, no. 176 00:07:53,736 --> 00:07:54,804 Oh, I see-- carry on. 177 00:07:54,837 --> 00:07:55,871 The result of his action 178 00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:57,206 Was that the enemy received... 179 00:07:57,239 --> 00:07:59,075 Basingstoke where? 180 00:07:59,108 --> 00:08:02,311 Basingstoke in westphalia, sir. 181 00:08:02,345 --> 00:08:04,313 Oh, I see-- carry on. 182 00:08:04,347 --> 00:08:06,148 The result of sapper walters's action 183 00:08:06,182 --> 00:08:09,218 Was that the enemy received wet patches upon their trousers 184 00:08:09,251 --> 00:08:10,553 And in some cases 185 00:08:10,586 --> 00:08:12,955 Small red strawberry marks upon their thighs. 186 00:08:12,988 --> 00:08:16,926 I didn't know there was a basingstoke in westphalia. 187 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:18,994 It's on the map, sir. 188 00:08:19,028 --> 00:08:20,363 What map? 189 00:08:20,396 --> 00:08:23,199 The map of westphalia as used by the army, sir. 190 00:08:23,232 --> 00:08:26,936 Well, I've certainly never heard of basingstoke in westphalia. 191 00:08:26,969 --> 00:08:28,304 It's a municipal borough, sir 192 00:08:28,337 --> 00:08:30,172 27 miles north-northeast of southampton. 193 00:08:30,206 --> 00:08:31,407 Its chief manufactures... 194 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,942 Southampton in westphalia? 195 00:08:32,975 --> 00:08:34,143 Yes, sir. 196 00:08:34,176 --> 00:08:35,311 Bricks, clothing. 197 00:08:35,344 --> 00:08:36,645 Nearby are the remains of basing house 198 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,147 Burned down by cromwell's cavalry in 1645... 199 00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:40,649 And who... who compiled this map? 200 00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:42,451 Cole porter, sir. 201 00:08:42,485 --> 00:08:44,153 Cole porter-- 202 00:08:44,186 --> 00:08:45,721 Who wrote kiss me, kate? 203 00:08:45,755 --> 00:08:47,123 No, alas not, sir. 204 00:08:47,156 --> 00:08:49,925 This was the cole porter who wrote "anything goes," sir. 205 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:51,627 I shall seek to prove... 206 00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:52,528 It's the same one! 207 00:08:52,561 --> 00:08:53,662 In olden days 208 00:08:53,696 --> 00:08:55,531 A glimpse of stocking... 209 00:08:55,564 --> 00:08:57,166 I beg your pardon, sir? 210 00:08:57,199 --> 00:08:59,702 In olden days a glimpse of stocking 211 00:08:59,735 --> 00:09:02,238 Was looked on as something shocking 212 00:09:02,271 --> 00:09:05,474 Now heaven knows anything goes. 213 00:09:05,508 --> 00:09:07,743 No, this one's, uh... different, sir. 214 00:09:07,777 --> 00:09:09,412 How does it go? 215 00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:10,413 What, sir? 216 00:09:10,446 --> 00:09:12,648 How does your "anything goes" go? 217 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:13,816 Can I go home now? 218 00:09:13,849 --> 00:09:14,984 Shut up! 219 00:09:15,017 --> 00:09:16,085 Come on. 220 00:09:16,118 --> 00:09:17,420 Sir, really, I think this is... 221 00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:19,855 Come on, how does your "anything goes" go? 222 00:09:19,889 --> 00:09:22,925 Anything goes in 223 00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:25,961 Anything goes out 224 00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:29,331 Fish, bananas, old pajamas 225 00:09:29,365 --> 00:09:32,435 Mutton, beef and trout. 226 00:09:32,468 --> 00:09:34,970 Anything goes in... 227 00:09:35,004 --> 00:09:36,305 No, that's not it-- carry on. 228 00:09:36,339 --> 00:09:38,007 With respect, sir, I shall seek to prove 229 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,475 That the man before you in the dock 230 00:09:39,508 --> 00:09:41,077 Being in possession of the following: 231 00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:44,613 One pair of army boots, value funt3, seven and six; 232 00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:48,417 One pair of serge trousers, value funt2, three and six; 233 00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:51,587 One pair of gaiters, value funt68, ten shillings... 234 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:55,257 funt68, ten shillings for a pair of gaiters?! 235 00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:56,692 They were special gaiters, sir. 236 00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:58,294 Special gaiters? 237 00:09:58,327 --> 00:10:00,429 Yes, sir, they were made in france, sir. 238 00:10:00,463 --> 00:10:01,764 One beret costing 14 shillings... 239 00:10:01,797 --> 00:10:03,032 What was special about them? 240 00:10:03,065 --> 00:10:06,102 They were made of a special fabric, sir. 241 00:10:06,135 --> 00:10:08,637 The buckles were made of empire silver instead of brass. 242 00:10:08,671 --> 00:10:10,339 The total value of the uniform was... 243 00:10:10,373 --> 00:10:14,143 Why was the accused wearing special gaiters? 244 00:10:14,176 --> 00:10:16,812 They were a presentation pair, sir, from the regiment. 245 00:10:16,846 --> 00:10:19,015 The total value of the uniform, therefore... 246 00:10:19,048 --> 00:10:23,652 Why did they present him with a special pair of gaiters? 247 00:10:23,686 --> 00:10:25,955 Sir... it seems to me totally irrelevant to the case 248 00:10:25,988 --> 00:10:28,391 Whether the gaiters were presented to him or not, sir. 249 00:10:28,424 --> 00:10:31,093 I think the court will be able to judge that for themselves. 250 00:10:31,127 --> 00:10:33,963 I want to know why the regiment presented the accused 251 00:10:33,996 --> 00:10:36,866 With a special pair of gaiters. 252 00:10:36,899 --> 00:10:38,968 He used to do things for them, sir. 253 00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:39,969 The total value... 254 00:10:40,002 --> 00:10:41,370 What things? 255 00:10:41,404 --> 00:10:44,674 He used to oblige them, sir. 256 00:10:44,707 --> 00:10:46,409 Oblige them? 257 00:10:46,442 --> 00:10:47,843 Yes, sir. 258 00:10:47,877 --> 00:10:49,245 The total value of the uniform... 259 00:10:49,278 --> 00:10:50,946 How did he oblige them? 260 00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:52,214 What, sir? 261 00:10:52,248 --> 00:10:54,383 How did he oblige them? 262 00:10:54,417 --> 00:10:56,786 He, um... 263 00:10:56,819 --> 00:11:00,289 He used to make them happy in little ways, sir. 264 00:11:00,322 --> 00:11:01,957 The total value... 265 00:11:01,991 --> 00:11:03,826 Did he touch them at all? 266 00:11:03,859 --> 00:11:05,127 Sir! 267 00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:07,129 I submit that this is totally irrelevant. 268 00:11:07,163 --> 00:11:08,964 I want to know how he made them happy. 269 00:11:08,998 --> 00:11:11,267 He used to ram things up their...! 270 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,337 All right, all right, all right. 271 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:18,240 You don't need to spell it out. 272 00:11:18,274 --> 00:11:20,042 What has the accused got to say? 273 00:11:20,076 --> 00:11:22,011 What... me? 274 00:11:22,044 --> 00:11:23,312 Yes, yes, what have you got to say? 275 00:11:23,346 --> 00:11:24,947 Well, what can I say, sir? 276 00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:27,650 I mean, how can I encapsulate in mere words 277 00:11:27,683 --> 00:11:29,852 My scorn for any military solution... 278 00:11:29,885 --> 00:11:32,254 The futility of modern warfare 279 00:11:32,288 --> 00:11:35,624 And the hypocrisy by which contemporary government applies 280 00:11:35,658 --> 00:11:38,227 One standard to violence within the community 281 00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,229 And another to violence perpetrated 282 00:11:40,262 --> 00:11:42,031 By one community upon another? 283 00:11:42,064 --> 00:11:45,067 Sorry, but my client has become pretentious. 284 00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:46,435 I will say in his defense, though... 285 00:11:46,469 --> 00:11:48,037 Sir, we haven't finished the prosecution! 286 00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:49,038 Shut up! 287 00:11:49,071 --> 00:11:50,039 I'm in charge of this court. 288 00:11:50,072 --> 00:11:51,040 Stand up! 289 00:11:51,073 --> 00:11:52,108 Sit down! 290 00:11:52,141 --> 00:11:54,377 Go moo! 291 00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:55,511 See? 292 00:11:55,544 --> 00:11:58,180 Right, now, on with the pixie hats 293 00:11:58,214 --> 00:12:02,451 And order in the skating vicar! 294 00:12:02,485 --> 00:12:03,986 And... 295 00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:08,758 Anything goes in, anything goes out 296 00:12:08,791 --> 00:12:12,361 Fish, bananas, old pajamas 297 00:12:12,395 --> 00:12:15,798 Mutton, beef and trout 298 00:12:15,831 --> 00:12:20,636 Anything goes in, anything goes out 299 00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:24,774 Fish, bananas, old pajamas 300 00:12:24,807 --> 00:12:28,644 Mutton, beef and trout. 301 00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:50,199 Coming to this cinema soon... 302 00:12:50,232 --> 00:12:52,568 The tender, compassionate story 303 00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:57,973 Of one man's love for another man in drag. 304 00:13:05,815 --> 00:13:09,218 Thrill to the excitement of a night emission over germany 305 00:13:09,251 --> 00:13:11,253 When the pilot, jennifer, has to choose 306 00:13:11,287 --> 00:13:13,022 Between his secret love for louis 307 00:13:13,055 --> 00:13:15,624 The hot-bloodedly bisexual navigator 308 00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:17,226 And andy, the rear gunner 309 00:13:17,259 --> 00:13:19,595 Who, though quite assertive with girls 310 00:13:19,628 --> 00:13:21,664 Tends to take the submissive role 311 00:13:21,697 --> 00:13:23,599 In his relationships with men. 312 00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:26,936 And sensational mexican starlet rosetta nixon 313 00:13:26,969 --> 00:13:29,372 Plays the head of bomber command 314 00:13:29,405 --> 00:13:32,742 Whose passion for sea birds ends in tragedy. 315 00:13:32,775 --> 00:13:36,379 With ginger, as the half-man, half-woman parrot 316 00:13:36,412 --> 00:13:38,280 Whose unnatural instincts 317 00:13:38,314 --> 00:13:39,849 Brought forbidden love to the aviary. 318 00:13:39,882 --> 00:13:43,586 And roger as pip, the half- parrot, half-man, half-woman 319 00:13:43,619 --> 00:13:46,489 Three-quarter badger, ex-bigamist negro preacher 320 00:13:46,522 --> 00:13:48,724 For whom banjo-playing was very difficult. 321 00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:50,259 And he never mastered it 322 00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:53,829 Although he took several courses and went to banjo college, uh... 323 00:13:53,863 --> 00:13:54,964 And everything. 324 00:13:54,997 --> 00:13:56,132 Don't miss it! 325 00:13:56,165 --> 00:13:58,067 Coming to your cinema soon. 326 00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:02,705 Only five minutes from this restaurant. 327 00:14:02,738 --> 00:14:05,541 But now... 328 00:14:05,608 --> 00:14:08,177 It's... 329 00:15:03,766 --> 00:15:06,969 Bloody repeats! 330 00:15:09,805 --> 00:15:13,676 Yes, repeats or war films. 331 00:15:13,709 --> 00:15:16,846 It really makes you want to micturate. 332 00:15:16,879 --> 00:15:18,614 People on television treat 333 00:15:18,647 --> 00:15:20,883 The general public like idiots. 334 00:15:20,916 --> 00:15:22,618 Well, we are idiots. 335 00:15:22,651 --> 00:15:24,220 Oh, no we are not! 336 00:15:24,253 --> 00:15:25,554 Well, I am. 337 00:15:25,588 --> 00:15:27,390 How do you know you're an idiot? 338 00:15:27,423 --> 00:15:28,524 Oh, I can show you. 339 00:15:28,557 --> 00:15:29,725 How? 340 00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:32,161 Look. 341 00:15:33,195 --> 00:15:35,531 Ooh! 342 00:16:02,591 --> 00:16:05,327 Ooh, wee! ooh, wee! 343 00:16:05,361 --> 00:16:08,297 You see, the public are idiots. 344 00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:11,267 You might as well just show them the last five miles of the m2. 345 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,269 They'd watch it, eh? 346 00:16:13,302 --> 00:16:15,471 At last, they done been put on 347 00:16:15,504 --> 00:16:17,139 Something interesting. 348 00:16:17,173 --> 00:16:18,774 Oh, most interesting. 349 00:16:18,808 --> 00:16:20,576 Our figures show conclusively 350 00:16:20,609 --> 00:16:22,878 That these motorways are extremely popular. 351 00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:24,880 I mean, last time we showed a repeat 352 00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:26,215 Of the leicester bypasss 353 00:16:26,248 --> 00:16:31,921 Our ratings gave us 97,300,912 and itv nought. 354 00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:37,026 So I do feel that we ought to give "b" roads their own series. 355 00:16:37,059 --> 00:16:39,028 I'm sorry, we just can't give you a bigger budget. 356 00:16:39,061 --> 00:16:40,029 Budgie? 357 00:16:40,062 --> 00:16:41,030 No, he's left. 358 00:16:41,063 --> 00:16:42,331 Oh, oh. why not? 359 00:16:42,365 --> 00:16:44,533 We're only one slice of the cake, you know. 360 00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:46,268 Wouldn't mind a slice of cake 361 00:16:46,302 --> 00:16:48,070 Nice chocolate cake-- delicious. 362 00:16:48,104 --> 00:16:49,705 I had a budgie once, you know. 363 00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:52,008 Lovely little budgie, amusing little chap. 364 00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:54,010 He used to stick his head in a bell. 365 00:16:54,043 --> 00:16:55,311 What was his name, now? 366 00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:56,345 Joey, uh... 367 00:16:56,379 --> 00:16:57,513 Kennedy? 368 00:16:57,546 --> 00:16:58,881 Xerxes? 369 00:16:58,914 --> 00:16:59,849 We could repeat them. 370 00:16:59,882 --> 00:17:00,816 Reheat them? 371 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:01,784 No, repeat them. 372 00:17:01,817 --> 00:17:03,219 You don't reheat cakes-- 373 00:17:03,252 --> 00:17:04,420 Not chocolate cakes. 374 00:17:04,453 --> 00:17:06,756 What, repeat the cakes? 375 00:17:06,789 --> 00:17:07,923 Mr. heath! 376 00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:08,924 What! 377 00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:10,292 That was the name of the budgie. 378 00:17:10,326 --> 00:17:11,494 Good lord, the bar's open. 379 00:17:11,527 --> 00:17:12,495 Oh! oh! oh! 380 00:17:12,528 --> 00:17:14,030 Great off! 381 00:17:14,063 --> 00:17:15,097 Oh, no. no it isn't. 382 00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:16,866 I was looking at the little hand 383 00:17:16,899 --> 00:17:20,036 That goes round awfully fast. 384 00:17:20,069 --> 00:17:23,005 Blast! blast! 385 00:17:23,039 --> 00:17:24,240 I've got it. 386 00:17:24,273 --> 00:17:25,741 We can retitle the repeats. 387 00:17:25,775 --> 00:17:26,909 What? 388 00:17:26,942 --> 00:17:28,377 Give them different names? 389 00:17:28,411 --> 00:17:30,413 Wouldn't that mean retitling them? 390 00:17:30,446 --> 00:17:31,580 Brilliant! 391 00:17:31,614 --> 00:17:32,648 Oh, right. 392 00:17:32,682 --> 00:17:34,050 All we need is new titles 393 00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:35,685 And they must be damned new. 394 00:17:35,718 --> 00:17:38,688 How about dad's navy? 395 00:17:38,721 --> 00:17:39,822 Hmm, good, good. 396 00:17:39,855 --> 00:17:41,824 Up your mother next door. 397 00:17:41,857 --> 00:17:42,992 Even better. 398 00:17:43,025 --> 00:17:44,827 Doctor at bee! 399 00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,829 What? what? 400 00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:48,297 Someone's knocking at the door. 401 00:17:48,330 --> 00:17:49,298 Quite like it. 402 00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:50,399 Bit long, though, I think. 403 00:17:50,433 --> 00:17:51,400 Far too long. 404 00:17:51,434 --> 00:17:52,435 I married lucy. 405 00:17:52,468 --> 00:17:54,070 Oh, hasn't that been done? 406 00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:55,571 Oh, yes, a long time ago. 407 00:17:55,604 --> 00:17:57,573 But they'd never remember it. 408 00:17:57,606 --> 00:17:59,375 Doctor at three. 409 00:17:59,408 --> 00:18:01,010 I think someone's 410 00:18:01,043 --> 00:18:02,244 Knocking at the door. 411 00:18:02,278 --> 00:18:03,746 Well, that's even longer. 412 00:18:03,779 --> 00:18:04,780 I married a tree. 413 00:18:04,814 --> 00:18:06,349 And mother makes tree. 414 00:18:06,382 --> 00:18:09,285 Doctor at cake. 415 00:18:09,318 --> 00:18:10,553 Look, I'm not absolutely certain 416 00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:12,221 But, well, I do rather get the impression 417 00:18:12,254 --> 00:18:13,723 That there is someone actually knocking 418 00:18:13,756 --> 00:18:15,024 At the door at this very moment. 419 00:18:15,057 --> 00:18:16,859 That's ridiculous-- half the program gone. 420 00:18:16,892 --> 00:18:17,860 Stop lengthening it! 421 00:18:17,893 --> 00:18:20,096 I married a cake. 422 00:18:20,129 --> 00:18:24,667 I married three rabbit jelly molds. 423 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,803 Prefer "cake," especially chocky cake. 424 00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:31,607 Open the sodding door! 425 00:18:31,941 --> 00:18:34,577 No, no. you can't say "sodding" on television. 426 00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:37,179 No, no. 427 00:18:38,614 --> 00:18:40,216 You're supposed to knock. 428 00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:43,085 Sorry, sir, but there's trouble at studio five. 429 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:44,787 You're in security, aren't you? 430 00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:45,788 Yes, sir. 431 00:18:45,821 --> 00:18:47,156 Well, you're not allowed 432 00:18:47,189 --> 00:18:48,691 To suggest program titles. 433 00:18:48,724 --> 00:18:50,493 Sir, it's the world war series 434 00:18:50,526 --> 00:18:51,560 In studio five. 435 00:18:51,594 --> 00:18:54,497 They're not taking it seriously anymore. 436 00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:55,464 You're not allowed 437 00:18:55,498 --> 00:18:56,899 To suggest program titles! 438 00:18:56,932 --> 00:18:59,201 Look! 439 00:18:59,235 --> 00:19:01,804 Ow! mind me war wound! 440 00:19:01,837 --> 00:19:02,972 That's it! that's the one! 441 00:19:03,005 --> 00:19:03,973 Very good title! 442 00:19:04,006 --> 00:19:05,174 Very good! great. 443 00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:06,709 Mind me war wound. brilliant. 444 00:19:06,742 --> 00:19:11,714 Fish, bananas, old pajamas, mutton... 445 00:19:15,484 --> 00:19:19,455 God! bloody world war ii series! 446 00:19:19,488 --> 00:19:20,990 I hate them! 447 00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:26,262 Oh, oh, it's a shame, mater-- damned predictable. 448 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:29,799 Just like bloody... 449 00:19:32,368 --> 00:19:35,705 Day after day after day after day! 450 00:19:35,738 --> 00:19:38,074 Ugh! 451 00:19:38,107 --> 00:19:39,809 Oh, evening star 452 00:19:39,842 --> 00:19:45,348 If only we could have a decent day tomorrow. 453 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:54,457 Oh! this weather's so wretched and awful and filthy and... 454 00:20:00,029 --> 00:20:01,230 What? what's going on? 455 00:20:01,263 --> 00:20:05,334 What the hell is going...? 456 00:20:10,406 --> 00:20:14,243 Now I can't even sleep! 457 00:20:19,048 --> 00:20:23,285 What... what are they doing? 458 00:20:27,289 --> 00:20:28,290 Huh? what was that? 459 00:20:28,324 --> 00:20:29,291 What was it? 460 00:20:29,325 --> 00:20:32,428 What... what's going on? 461 00:20:32,461 --> 00:20:36,632 Oh... oh, I can't stand it! 462 00:20:48,944 --> 00:20:50,579 All right! that does it! that does it! 463 00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:53,249 I'm going to get out... 464 00:20:53,282 --> 00:20:55,084 What a lovely day! 465 00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:59,522 Oh, I think I'm going to go... 466 00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:20,009 I say. 467 00:21:20,042 --> 00:21:21,544 Yes, daddy? 468 00:21:21,577 --> 00:21:23,446 Croquet hoops look damn pretty 469 00:21:23,479 --> 00:21:24,447 This afternoon. 470 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,915 Frightfully damn pretty. 471 00:21:25,948 --> 00:21:27,183 They're coming along 472 00:21:27,216 --> 00:21:28,651 Awfully well this year. 473 00:21:28,684 --> 00:21:29,719 Yes, better than 474 00:21:29,752 --> 00:21:31,921 Your aunt lavinia's croquet hoops. 475 00:21:31,954 --> 00:21:33,456 Oh, dreadful tin things. 476 00:21:33,489 --> 00:21:35,524 I did tell her to stick to wood. 477 00:21:35,558 --> 00:21:38,961 Yes, you can't beat wood. 478 00:21:38,994 --> 00:21:41,564 Gorn... 479 00:21:42,698 --> 00:21:43,966 What's gorn, dear? 480 00:21:43,999 --> 00:21:44,967 Nothing, nothing. 481 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:46,302 No, I just like the word. 482 00:21:46,335 --> 00:21:47,536 It gives me confidence. 483 00:21:47,570 --> 00:21:48,904 Gorn... 484 00:21:48,938 --> 00:21:51,774 Gorn-- it's got a sort of woody quality about it. 485 00:21:51,807 --> 00:21:54,076 Gorn... 486 00:21:54,110 --> 00:21:56,412 Gorn... 487 00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:59,115 Much better than newspaper or litter bin. 488 00:21:59,148 --> 00:22:00,583 Frightful words. 489 00:22:00,616 --> 00:22:01,951 Perfectly dreadful. 490 00:22:01,984 --> 00:22:04,387 Newspaper... litter bin. 491 00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:06,655 Dreadful tinny sort of words. 492 00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:07,423 Tin, tin, tin. 493 00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:08,491 Oh, dear... 494 00:22:08,524 --> 00:22:10,059 Don't say "tin" to rebecca. 495 00:22:10,092 --> 00:22:11,660 You know how it upsets her. 496 00:22:11,694 --> 00:22:15,364 Oh, sorry, old horse. 497 00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:18,734 Sausage. 498 00:22:18,768 --> 00:22:20,102 Sausage! 499 00:22:20,136 --> 00:22:24,273 There's a good woody sort of word, sausage. 500 00:22:24,306 --> 00:22:26,175 Gorn... 501 00:22:26,208 --> 00:22:27,510 Antelope! 502 00:22:27,543 --> 00:22:28,744 Where? on the lawn? 503 00:22:28,778 --> 00:22:30,680 No, no, daddy-- just the word. 504 00:22:30,713 --> 00:22:33,249 Don't want an antelope nibbling the hoops. 505 00:22:33,282 --> 00:22:34,450 No, no, an-tel-ope. 506 00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:37,286 Sort of nice and woody type of thing. 507 00:22:37,319 --> 00:22:39,288 Don't think so, becky, old chap. 508 00:22:39,321 --> 00:22:40,289 No, no. 509 00:22:40,322 --> 00:22:41,490 Antelope, antelope. 510 00:22:41,524 --> 00:22:43,626 Tinny sort of word. 511 00:22:43,659 --> 00:22:44,827 Oh! sorry, old man. 512 00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:45,961 Really, mansfield. 513 00:22:45,995 --> 00:22:48,030 Well, she's got to come to terms 514 00:22:48,064 --> 00:22:51,400 With these things. 515 00:22:51,434 --> 00:22:53,402 Seemly. 516 00:22:53,436 --> 00:22:56,005 Prodding. 517 00:22:56,038 --> 00:22:57,773 Vacuum. 518 00:22:57,807 --> 00:22:58,774 Leap. 519 00:22:58,808 --> 00:22:59,775 Oh! hate leap. 520 00:22:59,809 --> 00:23:01,177 Perfectly dreadful. 521 00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:04,380 Sort of p.v.c. sort of word, don't you know? 522 00:23:04,413 --> 00:23:05,381 Lower-middle. 523 00:23:05,414 --> 00:23:06,716 Bound. 524 00:23:06,749 --> 00:23:08,317 Now you're talking. 525 00:23:08,351 --> 00:23:09,652 Bound. 526 00:23:09,685 --> 00:23:10,853 Vole. 527 00:23:10,886 --> 00:23:12,722 Recidivist. 528 00:23:12,755 --> 00:23:15,558 Bit tinny. 529 00:23:16,125 --> 00:23:18,260 Oh, sorry, becky old beast. 530 00:23:18,294 --> 00:23:19,362 Oh, dear, I suppose 531 00:23:19,395 --> 00:23:23,299 She'll be gorn for a few days now. 532 00:23:23,332 --> 00:23:24,667 Caribou! 533 00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:25,668 Splendid word! 534 00:23:25,701 --> 00:23:27,670 No, dear-- nibbling the hoops. 535 00:23:27,703 --> 00:23:29,939 Oh! 536 00:23:31,607 --> 00:23:34,643 Caribou gorn. 537 00:23:38,547 --> 00:23:40,249 Intercourse. 538 00:23:40,282 --> 00:23:41,584 Later, dear. 539 00:23:41,617 --> 00:23:43,185 No, no. 540 00:23:43,219 --> 00:23:46,455 The word "intercourse," good and woody. 541 00:23:46,489 --> 00:23:48,791 Intercourse... 542 00:23:48,824 --> 00:23:51,694 Pert... pert thighs. 543 00:23:51,727 --> 00:23:54,296 Body, body, body. 544 00:23:54,330 --> 00:23:57,700 Erogenous zone... 545 00:23:58,401 --> 00:24:00,102 Oh, concubine! 546 00:24:00,136 --> 00:24:03,139 Erogenous zone... 547 00:24:03,172 --> 00:24:04,507 Loose woman. 548 00:24:04,540 --> 00:24:06,509 Erogenous zone... 549 00:24:06,542 --> 00:24:08,778 Oh! 550 00:24:09,612 --> 00:24:12,782 Oh, thank you, dear. 551 00:24:12,815 --> 00:24:14,817 You know, it's a funny thing, dear. 552 00:24:14,850 --> 00:24:16,819 All the naughty words sound woody. 553 00:24:16,852 --> 00:24:17,953 Really, dear? 554 00:24:17,987 --> 00:24:19,755 How about "tit"? 555 00:24:19,789 --> 00:24:20,990 Oh, dear. 556 00:24:21,023 --> 00:24:23,092 I hadn't thought about that. 557 00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:24,093 Tit, tit. 558 00:24:24,126 --> 00:24:25,861 Oh, that's very tinny, isn't it? 559 00:24:25,895 --> 00:24:26,862 Tit, tit. 560 00:24:26,896 --> 00:24:29,365 Ugh! tinny, tinny. 561 00:24:29,398 --> 00:24:32,134 Oh, dear. 562 00:24:33,069 --> 00:24:35,538 Ocelot. 563 00:24:35,571 --> 00:24:37,973 Wasp. 564 00:24:38,574 --> 00:24:41,210 Yowling. 565 00:24:41,911 --> 00:24:43,045 Oh, dear, I'm bored. 566 00:24:43,079 --> 00:24:45,448 I'd better go and have a bath, I suppose. 567 00:24:45,481 --> 00:24:46,949 Oh, really, must you dear? 568 00:24:46,982 --> 00:24:48,351 You've had nine today. 569 00:24:48,384 --> 00:24:50,886 All right, I'll sack one of the servants. 570 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:51,921 Simkins! 571 00:24:51,954 --> 00:24:53,456 Nasty tinny sort of name. 572 00:24:53,489 --> 00:24:54,924 Simkins! 573 00:24:54,957 --> 00:24:59,829 I say, mater, cabbage crates coming over the briny. 574 00:24:59,862 --> 00:25:01,497 Sorry, dear, don't understand. 575 00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:03,065 Uh, cow catchers creeping up 576 00:25:03,099 --> 00:25:05,835 On the conning towers. 577 00:25:05,868 --> 00:25:07,370 No, sorry, old sport. 578 00:25:07,403 --> 00:25:10,306 Um... caribou nibbling at the croquet hoops. 579 00:25:10,339 --> 00:25:12,608 Yes, mansfield shot one in the antlers. 580 00:25:12,641 --> 00:25:14,477 Oh, jolly good show. 581 00:25:14,510 --> 00:25:16,178 Is, uh, is becca about? 582 00:25:16,212 --> 00:25:17,713 No, she's gorn off. 583 00:25:17,747 --> 00:25:21,350 What a super woody sort of phrase, "gorn off." 584 00:25:21,384 --> 00:25:22,885 Yes, she's gorn off 585 00:25:22,918 --> 00:25:25,755 Because mansfield said "tin" to her. 586 00:25:25,788 --> 00:25:27,456 Oh, what rotten luck. 587 00:25:27,490 --> 00:25:30,126 Oh, well, whole afternoon to kill. 588 00:25:30,159 --> 00:25:32,495 Better have a bath, I suppose. 589 00:25:32,528 --> 00:25:34,663 Oh, gervaise, do sing me a song. 590 00:25:34,697 --> 00:25:36,999 Oh, okay. 591 00:25:37,033 --> 00:25:40,302 Something woody. 592 00:25:40,703 --> 00:25:42,905 For... 593 00:25:42,938 --> 00:25:45,474 She's going to marry yum-yum! 594 00:25:45,508 --> 00:25:46,676 Oh, crikey! 595 00:25:46,709 --> 00:25:49,345 The old song's finished her off. 596 00:25:49,378 --> 00:25:50,413 What's urp? 597 00:25:50,446 --> 00:25:52,148 Oh, I'm afraid mrs. vermin jones 598 00:25:52,181 --> 00:25:53,616 Appears to have passed orn. 599 00:25:53,649 --> 00:25:55,451 Dead, is she? 600 00:25:55,484 --> 00:25:56,318 Afraid so. 601 00:25:56,352 --> 00:25:59,955 What a blow for her. 602 00:26:00,256 --> 00:26:01,390 What I want to know 603 00:26:01,424 --> 00:26:02,591 Mrs. elizabeth iii 604 00:26:02,625 --> 00:26:04,694 Is why they show us crap like this 605 00:26:04,727 --> 00:26:07,329 When there's bits of the leicester bypass 606 00:26:07,363 --> 00:26:09,065 That have never been shown. 607 00:26:09,098 --> 00:26:10,066 Biskwit? 608 00:26:10,099 --> 00:26:13,235 Oh! thank you. 609 00:26:16,205 --> 00:26:20,376 Appearing on the m2 were... 610 00:26:28,851 --> 00:26:32,054 Bloody repeats! 611 00:26:32,988 --> 00:26:36,192 Bloody repeats! 612 00:26:36,692 --> 00:26:38,627 Yes, repeats or war films 613 00:26:38,661 --> 00:26:40,796 Makes you want to micturate. 614 00:26:40,830 --> 00:26:42,998 Hello and welcome to show jumping... 615 00:26:43,032 --> 00:26:44,734 Oh, moto-cross! 616 00:26:44,767 --> 00:26:46,802 Oh, good. 617 00:26:46,836 --> 00:26:50,106 Just about to go into a jump-off against the clock. 618 00:26:50,139 --> 00:26:52,108 The slight pause is for the stewards 619 00:26:52,141 --> 00:26:54,043 Who are repairing the sound of music. 620 00:26:54,076 --> 00:26:57,246 Captain phillips on 'strewth just caught one of the nuns 621 00:26:57,279 --> 00:27:00,983 At the very start of what would have been a fine clear round. 622 00:27:01,017 --> 00:27:03,886 It's a formidable obstacle, this sound of music-- 623 00:27:03,919 --> 00:27:07,056 Eight nuns high-- but they're ready now and singing. 624 00:27:07,089 --> 00:27:09,859 The hills are alive... 625 00:27:09,892 --> 00:27:12,161 And there's the bell. 626 00:27:12,194 --> 00:27:14,397 She's got 1:07 seconds to beat 627 00:27:14,430 --> 00:27:16,098 But she needs a clear round to win. 628 00:27:16,132 --> 00:27:18,234 As she comes towards the sound of music... 629 00:27:18,267 --> 00:27:19,235 Quite exciting. 630 00:27:19,268 --> 00:27:20,536 Hmm. 631 00:27:20,569 --> 00:27:21,804 Beautifully taken. 632 00:27:21,837 --> 00:27:23,205 And now she needs to pick up speed 633 00:27:23,239 --> 00:27:24,540 For oklahoma, but not too much. 634 00:27:24,573 --> 00:27:28,110 This is where alan jones knocked down poor judd... 635 00:27:28,144 --> 00:27:29,245 You notice how 636 00:27:29,278 --> 00:27:31,213 We never actually see the horses jump? 637 00:27:31,247 --> 00:27:33,916 She's taken it superbly, superb show jumping. 638 00:27:33,949 --> 00:27:36,786 And she's coming up to the black and white minstrel show. 639 00:27:36,819 --> 00:27:38,821 Watch this. 640 00:27:38,854 --> 00:27:41,157 Face the music and then... 641 00:27:41,190 --> 00:27:42,858 She's taken it! 642 00:27:42,892 --> 00:27:44,226 She's over the minstrels. 643 00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:46,729 She just flicked leslie crowther with her tail 644 00:27:46,762 --> 00:27:48,264 But the time's good. 645 00:27:48,297 --> 00:27:51,067 And now she turns before coming into the final jump. 646 00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:52,635 This is a tough one. 647 00:27:52,668 --> 00:27:55,604 It's ben hur-- 46 chariots, 6,000 spectators, 400 slaves 648 00:27:55,638 --> 00:27:56,605 Lion-handlers... 649 00:27:56,639 --> 00:27:57,940 I bet we don't see this one. 650 00:27:57,973 --> 00:28:00,209 No. 651 00:28:00,676 --> 00:28:04,080 We interrupt show jumping to bring you a news flash. 652 00:28:04,113 --> 00:28:07,850 The second world war has now entered a sentimental stage. 653 00:28:07,883 --> 00:28:10,086 This morning on the ardennes front 654 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,455 The germans started spooning at dawn 655 00:28:12,488 --> 00:28:14,824 But the british fifth army responded 656 00:28:14,857 --> 00:28:16,826 By gazing deep into their eyes 657 00:28:16,859 --> 00:28:23,165 And the germans are now reported to have gone all coy. 658 00:28:24,367 --> 00:28:28,270 When does a dream begin? 659 00:28:28,571 --> 00:28:33,175 Does it start with a goodnight kiss? 660 00:28:33,209 --> 00:28:37,646 Is it conceived or simply achieved? 661 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,584 When does a dream begin? 662 00:28:42,418 --> 00:28:46,322 When does a dream begin? 663 00:28:46,522 --> 00:28:50,926 Is it born in a moment of bliss? 664 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,995 Or is it begun 665 00:28:53,029 --> 00:28:55,331 When two hearts are one? 666 00:28:55,364 --> 00:28:59,268 When does a dream exist? 667 00:28:59,802 --> 00:29:04,040 The vision of you appears somehow 668 00:29:04,073 --> 00:29:07,677 Impossible to resist 669 00:29:08,577 --> 00:29:12,948 But I'm not imagining seeing you 670 00:29:12,982 --> 00:29:17,219 For who could have dreamed of this? 671 00:29:17,253 --> 00:29:21,157 When does a dream begin? 672 00:29:21,590 --> 00:29:25,661 When reality is dismissed? 673 00:29:26,228 --> 00:29:28,230 Or does it commence 674 00:29:28,264 --> 00:29:32,335 When we lose all pretense? 675 00:29:32,735 --> 00:29:36,639 When does a dream begin?