1 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,470 Let's bring them out! 2 00:00:41,971 --> 00:00:45,007 Any old iron! 3 00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:51,047 Any old iron! 4 00:00:54,083 --> 00:00:56,152 Thank you. 5 00:00:56,185 --> 00:00:58,421 Any old iron! 6 00:00:58,454 --> 00:00:59,989 Thank you. 7 00:01:00,022 --> 00:01:03,059 Any old iron! 8 00:01:37,259 --> 00:01:41,864 We are here today to witness the opening of a new box 9 00:01:41,897 --> 00:01:44,266 To replace the box which used to stand 10 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:47,703 On the corner of ulverston road and sandwood crescent. 11 00:01:47,737 --> 00:01:49,905 Owing to a program of road widening 12 00:01:49,939 --> 00:01:52,475 Being carried out by the borough council 13 00:01:52,508 --> 00:01:55,678 The ulverston road box was removed 14 00:01:55,711 --> 00:01:58,447 Leaving the wall box in esher road 15 00:01:58,481 --> 00:02:03,285 As the only box for the people of the ulverston road area. 16 00:02:03,319 --> 00:02:05,421 This new box will enable 17 00:02:05,454 --> 00:02:08,424 The people of the ulverston road area 18 00:02:08,457 --> 00:02:12,328 To post letters, postcards and small packages 19 00:02:12,361 --> 00:02:15,631 Without recourse to the esher road box 20 00:02:15,664 --> 00:02:19,268 Or to the box outside the post office at turner's parade 21 00:02:19,301 --> 00:02:21,170 Which many people used to use 22 00:02:21,203 --> 00:02:23,372 But which has now been discontinued 23 00:02:23,406 --> 00:02:25,441 Owing to the opening of this box 24 00:02:25,474 --> 00:02:29,045 And also to the reorganization of box distribution 25 00:02:29,078 --> 00:02:31,113 Throughout the whole area 26 00:02:31,147 --> 00:02:34,617 Which comes into force with the opening of the new boxes 27 00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:39,021 At the wyatt road post office in july. 28 00:02:39,055 --> 00:02:43,225 Nous sommes ici ce matin... 29 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:47,063 ...pour remplacer la boite qui autrefois etait placee 30 00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:49,865 Au coin d'ulverston road et sandwood crescent. 31 00:02:49,899 --> 00:02:52,935 Parce que du projet pour l'elargissement de la rue 32 00:02:52,968 --> 00:02:55,338 Qui fait par le borough council 33 00:02:55,371 --> 00:02:57,873 La boite d'ulverston road est remplacee 34 00:02:57,907 --> 00:03:00,643 Et la boite de mur dans esher road 35 00:03:00,676 --> 00:03:04,780 Est la seule boite pour les peuples d'ulverston road. 36 00:03:04,814 --> 00:03:06,248 Cette boite nouvelle 37 00:03:06,282 --> 00:03:08,818 Rendra capable les hommes d'ulverston road 38 00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:12,088 De mettre dans la poste les lettres, les carte-postales 39 00:03:12,121 --> 00:03:14,357 Et des petit paquets sans avoir besoin 40 00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:16,425 De la boite de mur dans esher road 41 00:03:16,459 --> 00:03:19,462 Ou les boites de la turner's parade bureau de poste 42 00:03:19,495 --> 00:03:21,731 Qui beaucoup des hommes ont fait usage 43 00:03:21,764 --> 00:03:24,100 Mais que est maintenant discontinuee... 44 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,202 A perfectly ordinary morning 45 00:03:26,235 --> 00:03:28,704 In a perfectly ordinary english suburb. 46 00:03:28,738 --> 00:03:31,140 Life goes on as it has done for years. 47 00:03:31,173 --> 00:03:35,177 But soon this quiet pattern of life was to change irrevocably. 48 00:03:35,211 --> 00:03:39,048 ...en wyatt road le juillet. 49 00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:42,985 Wir sind heute morgen... 50 00:03:47,056 --> 00:03:50,793 The commonplace routine of a typical monday morning 51 00:03:50,826 --> 00:03:52,995 Would never be the same again 52 00:03:53,029 --> 00:03:57,199 For into this quiet little community came... mr. neutron. 53 00:03:57,233 --> 00:03:59,201 Mr. neutron-- 54 00:03:59,235 --> 00:04:01,904 The most dangerous and terrifying man in the world 55 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,906 A man with the strength of an army 56 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,142 The wisdom of all the scholars in history 57 00:04:06,175 --> 00:04:11,814 The man who had the power to destroy the world. 58 00:04:11,847 --> 00:04:15,084 No one knows what strange and distant planet he came from 59 00:04:15,117 --> 00:04:16,986 Or where he was going to. 60 00:04:17,019 --> 00:04:18,454 Wherever he went 61 00:04:18,487 --> 00:04:21,223 Terror and destruction were sure to follow. 62 00:04:21,257 --> 00:04:23,359 Mr. neutron, the man whose incredible power 63 00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:25,528 Has made him the most feared man of all time 64 00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:28,431 Waits for his moment to destroy this little world utterly. 65 00:04:28,464 --> 00:04:30,332 Then there's stanley, he's our eldest. 66 00:04:30,366 --> 00:04:31,701 He's a biochemist in sutton. 67 00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:33,269 He's married to shirley. 68 00:04:33,302 --> 00:04:35,905 Shirley who used to be the hairdresser? 69 00:04:35,938 --> 00:04:37,006 Yes, that's right. 70 00:04:37,039 --> 00:04:38,441 I think she's a lovely person. 71 00:04:38,474 --> 00:04:39,875 Mind you, my husband doesn't. 72 00:04:39,909 --> 00:04:42,411 He thinks she's a bit, uh, thinks she's a bit flash. 73 00:04:42,445 --> 00:04:43,412 I hate her. 74 00:04:43,446 --> 00:04:44,447 I hate her guts. 75 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,115 Of course, they come down on most weekends 76 00:04:46,148 --> 00:04:47,416 So you'll be able to meet them then. 77 00:04:47,450 --> 00:04:48,951 I'd love to. 78 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:51,053 Hairdressing is very interesting. 79 00:04:51,087 --> 00:04:52,488 Oh, yes, and very important, too. 80 00:04:52,521 --> 00:04:54,657 If you don't care for your scalp, you get rabies. 81 00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:56,425 Then there's kenneth, he's our youngest. 82 00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:57,993 Mind you, he's a bit of a problem... 83 00:04:58,027 --> 00:04:59,929 At least my husband thinks he is, anyway. 84 00:04:59,962 --> 00:05:01,497 Nasty little piece of work, he is. 85 00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:02,498 I hate him. 86 00:05:02,531 --> 00:05:04,100 Mind you, the one we don't hear 87 00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:05,568 Much about nowadays is karen. 88 00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:07,603 She married a canadian; he's a dentist. 89 00:05:07,636 --> 00:05:08,738 They live in alberta. 90 00:05:08,771 --> 00:05:09,805 Two lovely children: 91 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,640 Gary who's three, leslie who's six. 92 00:05:11,674 --> 00:05:14,143 Leslie looks absolutely the spitting image of karen. 93 00:05:14,176 --> 00:05:15,544 Do you want to see a photo? 94 00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:16,545 Oh, yes, please. 95 00:05:16,579 --> 00:05:17,613 All right. 96 00:05:17,646 --> 00:05:19,482 They're a couple of little bastards. 97 00:05:19,515 --> 00:05:20,583 I hate them. 98 00:05:20,616 --> 00:05:22,151 They got eyes like little pigs 99 00:05:22,184 --> 00:05:23,586 Just like their mother. 100 00:05:23,619 --> 00:05:24,754 She's a disaster... 101 00:05:24,787 --> 00:05:27,256 A really horrible-looking person, she is. 102 00:05:27,289 --> 00:05:29,825 I thought that one would stay on the shelf 103 00:05:29,859 --> 00:05:32,261 But along comes this stupid dentist git. 104 00:05:32,294 --> 00:05:34,797 He's a real creepy little bastard, he is. 105 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:36,132 I hate him. 106 00:05:36,165 --> 00:05:38,267 This is a nice area. 107 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,769 It's like a bloody graveyard. 108 00:05:39,802 --> 00:05:40,836 I hate it. 109 00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:42,471 It's handy for the shops 110 00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:44,607 And convenient for the west end. 111 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,876 If you like going to the west end. 112 00:05:46,909 --> 00:05:48,811 I think it's a stinking dump. 113 00:05:48,844 --> 00:05:52,181 Meanwhile in washington, at the headquarters of "fear" 114 00:05:52,214 --> 00:05:54,116 The federal egg answering room 115 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:56,385 In reality a front name for "feeble" 116 00:05:56,419 --> 00:06:00,723 The free world extra-earthly bodies location and extermination center 117 00:06:00,756 --> 00:06:04,126 All was not well. 118 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,129 Good god! get me the supreme commander 119 00:06:07,163 --> 00:06:12,601 Of land, sea and air forces... immediately! 120 00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:42,898 Hello. 121 00:06:42,932 --> 00:06:45,434 This is captain carpenter, sir, from fear. 122 00:06:45,468 --> 00:06:46,502 You mean feeble? 123 00:06:46,535 --> 00:06:47,403 Yes, sir. 124 00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:48,871 What is it? 125 00:06:48,904 --> 00:06:50,706 Mr. neutron is missing, sir. 126 00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:54,176 Mr. neutron?! oh, my god! 127 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:56,012 Okay, surround the entire city. 128 00:06:56,045 --> 00:06:58,381 Send in four waves of armed paratroopers 129 00:06:58,414 --> 00:07:00,716 With full ground-to-air missile support. 130 00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:03,019 Alert all air bases, destroy all roads! 131 00:07:03,052 --> 00:07:05,421 We'll bomb the town flat if we have to! 132 00:07:05,454 --> 00:07:07,356 Sir, he's not in washington, sir. 133 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:10,426 Okay, okay, hold everything, hold everything! 134 00:07:10,459 --> 00:07:15,097 Hold it, hold it! lay off, lay off, lay off. 135 00:07:15,131 --> 00:07:16,198 Where is he? 136 00:07:16,232 --> 00:07:17,466 We don't know, sir. 137 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,735 All we know is he checked out of his hotel 138 00:07:19,769 --> 00:07:21,404 and took a bus to the airport. 139 00:07:21,437 --> 00:07:26,175 All right... I want a full-scale red alert throughout the world. 140 00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,545 Surround everyone with everything we got. 141 00:07:29,578 --> 00:07:31,747 Mobilize every fighting unit 142 00:07:31,781 --> 00:07:34,917 And every weapon we can lay our hands on! 143 00:07:34,950 --> 00:07:39,188 I want... I want three full-scale global nuclear alerts 144 00:07:39,221 --> 00:07:43,159 With every army, navy and air force unit on eternal standby! 145 00:07:43,192 --> 00:07:44,160 Right, sir! 146 00:07:44,193 --> 00:07:46,195 And introduce conscription! 147 00:07:46,228 --> 00:07:47,196 Yes, sir! 148 00:07:47,229 --> 00:07:49,699 Right! 149 00:08:03,646 --> 00:08:06,349 So the world was in the grip of fear; 150 00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:10,052 A huge and terrifying crisis generated by one man 151 00:08:10,086 --> 00:08:13,356 Easily the most dangerous man the world has ever seen... 152 00:08:13,389 --> 00:08:15,024 Honestly. 153 00:08:15,057 --> 00:08:18,461 Though still biding his time, he could strike at any moment. 154 00:08:18,494 --> 00:08:20,096 Could he be stopped in time? 155 00:08:20,129 --> 00:08:22,631 Got a bit of work to do there, then. 156 00:08:22,665 --> 00:08:24,867 Yes, it is a problem. 157 00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:27,069 Mrs. ottershaw never used to bother... 158 00:08:27,103 --> 00:08:29,505 Then, of course, she was very old; she was 2o6. 159 00:08:29,538 --> 00:08:30,673 Well, must be going. 160 00:08:30,706 --> 00:08:32,942 If you need a hand, I'll send frank round. 161 00:08:32,975 --> 00:08:36,846 He could do with a bit of exercise. 162 00:08:36,879 --> 00:08:40,149 Fat old bastard. 163 00:08:48,124 --> 00:08:49,625 Yes. 164 00:08:49,658 --> 00:08:51,227 Captain carpenter here, sir. 165 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,896 We've been on red alert now for three days, sir 166 00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:55,765 and still no sign of mr. neutron. 167 00:08:55,798 --> 00:08:57,133 Have we bombed anywhere? 168 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:58,934 Have we shown 'em we got teeth? 169 00:08:58,968 --> 00:09:01,937 Oh, yes, sir, we've bombed a lot of places flat, sir. 170 00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:05,107 Good, good, we don't want anyone to think we're chicken. 171 00:09:05,141 --> 00:09:07,076 Oh, no, they don't think that, sir. 172 00:09:07,109 --> 00:09:09,111 Everyone's really scared of us, sir. 173 00:09:09,145 --> 00:09:10,112 Of us? 174 00:09:10,146 --> 00:09:11,047 Yes, sir! 175 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,848 Of our... power? 176 00:09:12,882 --> 00:09:15,017 Oh, yes, sir! they're really scared 177 00:09:15,051 --> 00:09:17,586 when they see those big planes come over. 178 00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:18,988 Wow! I bet they are. 179 00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:21,057 I bet they are. 180 00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,725 I bet they're really scared. 181 00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:24,527 Oh, they are, sir. 182 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:27,196 Do we have any figures on how scared they are? 183 00:09:27,229 --> 00:09:31,100 Uh, no... no figures, sir, but they sure were scared. 184 00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:33,636 Ah! but it's not working? 185 00:09:33,669 --> 00:09:34,637 No, sir. 186 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:36,806 Okay, we'll try another tactic. 187 00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:39,542 We'll try and outsmart this neutron guy. 188 00:09:39,575 --> 00:09:42,378 Yeah, there's one man I know who could nail him. 189 00:09:42,411 --> 00:09:44,947 One guy?! that won't frighten anyone, sir. 190 00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:46,916 He's the most brilliant man I ever met. 191 00:09:46,949 --> 00:09:48,517 We were in the c.i.a. together. 192 00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:49,885 He's retired now. 193 00:09:49,919 --> 00:09:51,721 He breeds rabbits up in the yukon. 194 00:09:51,754 --> 00:09:52,955 What's his name, sir? 195 00:09:52,988 --> 00:09:54,824 His name is teddy salad. 196 00:09:54,857 --> 00:09:56,125 "salad" as in... 197 00:09:56,158 --> 00:09:58,694 Lettuces, cucumber, radishes... yeah, yeah, yeah. 198 00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,296 Where do I find him, sir? 199 00:10:00,329 --> 00:10:03,132 The yukon. 200 00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,469 Oh, and carpenter... 201 00:10:06,502 --> 00:10:07,737 Yes, sir? 202 00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:12,641 Make sure you get a decent disguise. 203 00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:37,867 Oh, uh, hello, my name's carpenter. 204 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,535 I'm from the u.s. government. 205 00:10:39,568 --> 00:10:41,003 Are you from the army? 206 00:10:41,037 --> 00:10:44,640 No, no, no, no... I'm, uh... I'm from the ballet. 207 00:10:44,674 --> 00:10:46,709 The u.s. government ballet. 208 00:10:46,742 --> 00:10:48,077 The ballet! 209 00:10:48,110 --> 00:10:49,679 The ballet's coming here? 210 00:10:49,712 --> 00:10:51,647 Uh... well, maybe. 211 00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:53,816 Oh, that's great! we love the ballet. 212 00:10:53,849 --> 00:10:56,085 Last year some of us from yellow river 213 00:10:56,118 --> 00:10:59,321 We got up a party to go and see the ballet in montreal. 214 00:10:59,355 --> 00:11:01,190 Look, i... I was wondering... 215 00:11:01,223 --> 00:11:03,059 Oh, we had a marvelous time. 216 00:11:03,092 --> 00:11:04,460 It was margot fonteyn 217 00:11:04,493 --> 00:11:06,062 Dancing les sylphides. 218 00:11:06,095 --> 00:11:07,496 Oh, it was beautiful. 219 00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:08,497 Look, do you know... 220 00:11:08,531 --> 00:11:10,066 Do you know how old she is? 221 00:11:10,099 --> 00:11:10,800 Who? 222 00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:11,801 Margot fonteyn. 223 00:11:11,834 --> 00:11:12,535 No. 224 00:11:12,568 --> 00:11:14,103 She's 2o6. 225 00:11:14,136 --> 00:11:15,404 Oh... 226 00:11:15,438 --> 00:11:16,539 Well, look, I hear 227 00:11:16,572 --> 00:11:19,175 There's a u.s. ballet organizer around these parts 228 00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:20,676 By the name of teddy salad. 229 00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:22,978 You mean the special agent? 230 00:11:23,012 --> 00:11:24,013 Well... uh... 231 00:11:24,046 --> 00:11:25,214 He's an ex-cia man; 232 00:11:25,247 --> 00:11:28,851 He's not a ballet dancer. 233 00:11:28,884 --> 00:11:32,154 Oh, uh, well, I just want to see him on some ballet business. 234 00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:34,457 Oh, well, you could try the store. 235 00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:36,292 Oh, thank you. 236 00:11:36,325 --> 00:11:41,297 Hey! could you get us lionel blair's autograph? 237 00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:44,500 While precious time was being lost in canada 238 00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:48,070 The seconds were ticking away for the free world. 239 00:11:48,104 --> 00:11:50,373 Already neutron, who, you will remember 240 00:11:50,406 --> 00:11:53,476 Is infinitely the most dangerous man in the world-- 241 00:11:53,509 --> 00:11:56,212 He really is-- was gathering allies together. 242 00:11:56,245 --> 00:11:59,515 Try having an omelet for your evening meal 243 00:11:59,548 --> 00:12:02,351 Perhaps with yogurt and grapefruit. 244 00:12:02,385 --> 00:12:04,020 Oh, I've tried that. 245 00:12:04,053 --> 00:12:07,923 I once got down to 56 stone but I couldn't stay like that. 246 00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:10,526 I had to take potatoes wherever I went. 247 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:14,497 I used to go to the cinema with 300-weight of king edwards. 248 00:12:14,530 --> 00:12:19,201 I'd eat them all before I got out of the toilet. 249 00:12:19,235 --> 00:12:21,037 I had to go on to bread. 250 00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:22,538 What about salad? 251 00:12:22,571 --> 00:12:23,639 Teddy salad? 252 00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:24,974 No, no, no-- 253 00:12:25,007 --> 00:12:27,443 Salad as in lettuces, radishes, cucumber. 254 00:12:27,476 --> 00:12:28,577 You don't like it? 255 00:12:28,611 --> 00:12:30,413 No, I didn't want to eat a salad. 256 00:12:30,446 --> 00:12:31,514 I wanted to find out 257 00:12:31,547 --> 00:12:32,982 About a man called salad. 258 00:12:33,015 --> 00:12:34,250 You are the first person 259 00:12:34,283 --> 00:12:36,185 To order a salad here for two years. 260 00:12:36,218 --> 00:12:38,921 All the eskimos eat here is fish, fish, fish! 261 00:12:38,954 --> 00:12:40,189 We are not eskimos. 262 00:12:40,222 --> 00:12:41,390 Where's our fish? 263 00:12:41,424 --> 00:12:43,025 We've finished our fish. 264 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:44,260 What fish you want today, huh? 265 00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:45,094 Bream. 266 00:12:45,127 --> 00:12:46,362 Bream?! 267 00:12:46,395 --> 00:12:48,664 Where do I get bream this time of year? 268 00:12:48,698 --> 00:12:50,599 You bloody choosy eskimo pests! 269 00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:52,435 We are not eskimos. 270 00:12:52,468 --> 00:12:54,804 Why don't you like a nice plate of cannelloni? 271 00:12:54,837 --> 00:12:56,572 Yech! that's not fish. 272 00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:59,442 Oh, I've had my lot of the arctic circle. 273 00:12:59,475 --> 00:13:01,510 I wish I was back in oldham. 274 00:13:01,544 --> 00:13:05,214 Do any of you eskimos 275 00:13:06,215 --> 00:13:08,250 Speak english? 276 00:13:08,284 --> 00:13:10,419 We are not eskimos. 277 00:13:10,453 --> 00:13:11,420 I am. 278 00:13:11,454 --> 00:13:13,022 Haddock! 279 00:13:13,055 --> 00:13:14,490 Where? where? 280 00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:18,661 Do any of you know a man called salad? 281 00:13:18,694 --> 00:13:20,129 What, salad as in... 282 00:13:20,162 --> 00:13:22,264 Lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes-- yeah. 283 00:13:22,298 --> 00:13:23,432 Like you have on your plate? 284 00:13:23,466 --> 00:13:24,433 Yeah, that's right. 285 00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:25,501 No, I'm afraid not. 286 00:13:25,534 --> 00:13:26,569 Where's our fish? 287 00:13:26,602 --> 00:13:28,838 What does this teddy salad do? 288 00:13:28,871 --> 00:13:33,175 Oh, uh... he's a... he's a hen teaser. 289 00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:35,578 Che cosa? e la stucciacatori di polli! 290 00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:39,348 No, the only teddy salad we know is a c.i.a. man. 291 00:13:39,382 --> 00:13:43,152 Oh, uh, he might know. 292 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,421 Where will I find him? 293 00:13:45,454 --> 00:13:47,023 Oh, he lives up at kipper sound. 294 00:13:47,056 --> 00:13:47,823 Thanks a lot. 295 00:13:47,857 --> 00:13:50,026 Fishy fishy aye-oo! 296 00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:53,029 Um, are you in international spying, too? 297 00:13:53,062 --> 00:13:54,930 Uh... no, no, no, no. 298 00:13:54,964 --> 00:14:00,336 I'm, uh... I'm with the, uh, the, uh, the u.s. ballet force. 299 00:14:00,369 --> 00:14:01,504 Who are you with? 300 00:14:01,537 --> 00:14:02,738 Mi6. 301 00:14:02,772 --> 00:14:04,607 But not a word to the eskimos. 302 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,409 Fishy fishy aye-oo! 303 00:14:06,442 --> 00:14:08,277 Here's your bloody fish. 304 00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:09,879 Thank you, anouk. 305 00:14:09,912 --> 00:14:13,349 I'm not an eskimo! 306 00:14:21,457 --> 00:14:23,793 Hey! 307 00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:25,394 Hey! 308 00:14:25,428 --> 00:14:27,763 Hey! 309 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,932 Hi, I'm carpenter of the u.s. ballet. 310 00:14:29,965 --> 00:14:31,567 Hey, great to have you around. 311 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,969 The last decent ballet we got around here 312 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,137 Was ballet rambert. 313 00:14:35,171 --> 00:14:36,972 On thursday they did petrouchka 314 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,442 Then on saturday they did fille mal gardee. 315 00:14:39,475 --> 00:14:41,477 I thought it was a bit slow but... 316 00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:43,879 It sure is nice to see you, mr. salad. 317 00:14:43,913 --> 00:14:45,348 I ain't salad. 318 00:14:45,381 --> 00:14:46,349 What? 319 00:14:46,382 --> 00:14:47,416 You want teddy salad? 320 00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:49,852 Yeah. 321 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,188 I don't see anyone. 322 00:14:52,221 --> 00:14:54,990 The one on the end, on the right. 323 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:56,225 That's salad. 324 00:14:56,258 --> 00:14:57,860 That's a dog. 325 00:14:57,893 --> 00:15:00,162 No, only bits of it. 326 00:15:00,196 --> 00:15:01,430 What do you mean? 327 00:15:01,464 --> 00:15:02,665 Listen, teddy salad 328 00:15:02,698 --> 00:15:04,433 Is the most brilliant agent 329 00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:06,035 The c.i.a. ever had, all right? 330 00:15:06,068 --> 00:15:07,136 Right. 331 00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:11,007 That's how he made his name-- disguise! 332 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,408 That's incredible! 333 00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:13,876 Yeah, he had to slim down 334 00:15:13,909 --> 00:15:16,212 To 11/2pounds to get into that costume. 335 00:15:16,245 --> 00:15:17,880 He cut 18 inches off each arm 336 00:15:17,913 --> 00:15:19,849 And over three feet off each leg. 337 00:15:19,882 --> 00:15:23,652 The most brilliant surgeon in europe stuck that tail on. 338 00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:25,354 What about the head? 339 00:15:25,388 --> 00:15:27,089 All of the head was removed 340 00:15:27,123 --> 00:15:29,225 Apart from the eyes and the brain 341 00:15:29,258 --> 00:15:31,360 In order to fit into the costume. 342 00:15:31,394 --> 00:15:33,396 That's incredible! 343 00:15:33,429 --> 00:15:34,663 Do you want to talk to him? 344 00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:35,898 Yeah, sure. 345 00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:38,334 Let's move over to those trees over there. 346 00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:40,269 Anyone might be watching. 347 00:15:40,302 --> 00:15:42,638 Mr. salad 348 00:15:42,672 --> 00:15:45,374 There's a mr. carpenter to see you. 349 00:15:45,408 --> 00:15:47,143 What does he say? 350 00:15:47,176 --> 00:15:50,680 Do you have a bone? 351 00:15:51,514 --> 00:15:53,749 Here, it's all part of the disguise. 352 00:15:53,783 --> 00:15:56,786 Okay, teddy, here's the bone. 353 00:15:56,819 --> 00:15:58,587 All right, you've got his trust now. 354 00:15:58,621 --> 00:16:01,724 You can talk to him. 355 00:16:01,757 --> 00:16:03,492 Sir... 356 00:16:03,526 --> 00:16:06,062 Sir... mr. salad 357 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,430 Sir, I've come direct 358 00:16:07,463 --> 00:16:08,464 From the commander 359 00:16:08,497 --> 00:16:09,732 Of land, sea and air forces. 360 00:16:09,765 --> 00:16:13,469 There's a pretty dangerous situation, sir. 361 00:16:13,502 --> 00:16:16,972 Mr. neutron is missing. 362 00:16:17,006 --> 00:16:18,774 The general says you're the only one 363 00:16:18,808 --> 00:16:21,911 Who'll know where to find him. 364 00:16:21,944 --> 00:16:23,112 What's he say? 365 00:16:23,145 --> 00:16:24,947 Uh, he wants to go walkies. 366 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:26,215 Walkies? 367 00:16:26,248 --> 00:16:27,583 Yeah, he's right into it today. 368 00:16:27,616 --> 00:16:29,118 Do you mind taking him for walkies? 369 00:16:29,151 --> 00:16:30,720 While carpenter took 370 00:16:30,753 --> 00:16:33,823 The most brilliant agent the c.i.a. ever had for walkies 371 00:16:33,856 --> 00:16:39,695 Events in the world's capitals were moving fast. 372 00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:57,580 The secretary of state to see you, prime minister. 373 00:16:57,613 --> 00:16:59,181 Very well, show him in. 374 00:16:59,215 --> 00:17:00,182 Prime minister. 375 00:17:00,216 --> 00:17:03,719 Oh, do take a seat. 376 00:17:03,986 --> 00:17:06,222 Oh! 377 00:17:06,589 --> 00:17:08,457 We've just had the supreme commander, u.s. forces 378 00:17:08,491 --> 00:17:09,692 On the phone. 379 00:17:09,725 --> 00:17:11,660 Apparently, they want a full-scale red alert. 380 00:17:11,694 --> 00:17:12,695 They what? 381 00:17:12,728 --> 00:17:14,296 They want a full-scale red alert. 382 00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:16,699 Every troop movement... 383 00:17:16,732 --> 00:17:17,700 It's all right. 384 00:17:17,733 --> 00:17:18,968 Don't worry about giuseppe. 385 00:17:19,001 --> 00:17:19,969 He's english, really. 386 00:17:20,002 --> 00:17:21,303 I see... well, apparently 387 00:17:21,337 --> 00:17:23,372 The whole structure of world peace is threatened... 388 00:17:23,406 --> 00:17:25,274 Your anniversary, signore? 389 00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:28,277 Uh... no, no, no, giuseppe, not now. 390 00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:30,379 You mean this isn't the lady? 391 00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:32,181 No, no. 392 00:17:32,214 --> 00:17:34,617 Oh, signora, my mistake! 393 00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:35,618 Fine, fine. 394 00:17:35,651 --> 00:17:37,653 I play for you, my mistake. 395 00:17:37,687 --> 00:17:42,491 My mistake, I have made my mistake! 396 00:17:44,093 --> 00:17:50,266 What a dreadful mistake is this mistake that I make! 397 00:17:51,534 --> 00:17:54,170 My mistake... 398 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,172 Giuseppe, do you mind playing over there? 399 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:59,875 Oh, very well, signore, but I play only for you 400 00:17:59,909 --> 00:18:03,112 And your beautiful companion. 401 00:18:03,145 --> 00:18:05,481 My mistake... 402 00:18:05,514 --> 00:18:06,749 Well, we think this mr. neutron 403 00:18:06,782 --> 00:18:08,484 Is located somewhere in the london area. 404 00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:10,019 We must find him and exterminate him. 405 00:18:10,052 --> 00:18:11,887 The americans say if we don't, they will. 406 00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:12,788 What?! 407 00:18:12,822 --> 00:18:14,590 The americans say 408 00:18:14,623 --> 00:18:15,958 If we don't, they will! 409 00:18:15,991 --> 00:18:17,727 If he doesn't know what?! 410 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,464 They'll bomb the entire london area! 411 00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:22,765 We'd better get out of here! 412 00:18:22,798 --> 00:18:24,467 They won't bomb here. 413 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,801 Are you sure? 414 00:18:25,835 --> 00:18:26,802 Sure. 415 00:18:26,836 --> 00:18:27,803 Right. 416 00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:29,138 When are they going to start? 417 00:18:29,171 --> 00:18:31,073 Well, apparently, they haven't got neutron yet 418 00:18:31,107 --> 00:18:32,274 But when they do, they're going to... 419 00:18:32,308 --> 00:18:33,409 I have made my mistake... what?! 420 00:18:33,442 --> 00:18:34,810 They're going to send a wave of bombers! 421 00:18:34,844 --> 00:18:37,246 What a dreadful mistake... 422 00:18:37,279 --> 00:18:40,016 Well, did he tell you anything? 423 00:18:40,049 --> 00:18:41,017 Oh, no, no. 424 00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,018 We chased sticks 425 00:18:42,051 --> 00:18:43,753 We chased a few reindeer. 426 00:18:43,786 --> 00:18:45,755 Oh, you been chasing reindeer, have you? 427 00:18:45,788 --> 00:18:47,089 You're a naughty boy, eh? 428 00:18:47,123 --> 00:18:48,424 Look, we haven't got much time. 429 00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:50,159 He hasn't given me any information yet. 430 00:18:50,192 --> 00:18:51,861 Okay, look, tell you what then, let's eat. 431 00:18:51,894 --> 00:18:53,262 You give him one of your meatballs 432 00:18:53,295 --> 00:18:54,296 He'll tell you anything, okay? 433 00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:55,598 Okay. 434 00:18:55,631 --> 00:18:58,134 Wait a minute, he's trying to tell us something. 435 00:18:58,167 --> 00:19:00,870 Carpenter... 436 00:19:00,903 --> 00:19:02,805 Ah... carpenter... 437 00:19:02,838 --> 00:19:03,873 Yes, mr. salad? 438 00:19:03,906 --> 00:19:05,074 Can you hear me? 439 00:19:05,107 --> 00:19:07,810 Yeah, yeah... 440 00:19:07,843 --> 00:19:11,347 It's just... it's so goddamned painful in here. 441 00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:13,115 What's the problem? 442 00:19:13,149 --> 00:19:14,984 It's mr. neutron, sir... 443 00:19:15,017 --> 00:19:16,385 He's gone missing. 444 00:19:16,419 --> 00:19:17,953 The supreme commander 445 00:19:17,987 --> 00:19:19,855 Wants you to take charge. 446 00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:22,958 I... oh, god... 447 00:19:22,992 --> 00:19:25,528 I... i... 448 00:19:25,561 --> 00:19:27,430 Yes, mr. salad? 449 00:19:27,463 --> 00:19:28,464 I... 450 00:19:28,497 --> 00:19:32,802 I've got to go walkies again. 451 00:19:35,571 --> 00:19:38,274 Still no sign of captain carpenter, sir 452 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,275 or mr. neutron. 453 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,276 Okay. 454 00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,378 We'll bomb neutron out. 455 00:19:42,411 --> 00:19:46,982 Get me moscow, peking, and shanklin, isle of wight! 456 00:19:47,016 --> 00:19:48,417 And so the great powers 457 00:19:48,451 --> 00:19:50,986 And the people of shanklin, isle of wight 458 00:19:51,020 --> 00:19:53,189 Drew their net in ever-tightening circles 459 00:19:53,222 --> 00:19:55,324 Around the most dangerous threat to peace 460 00:19:55,358 --> 00:19:56,992 The world has ever faced. 461 00:19:57,026 --> 00:19:58,961 They bombed cairo, bangkok 462 00:19:58,994 --> 00:20:01,130 Cape town, buenos aires, harrow 463 00:20:01,163 --> 00:20:04,967 Hammersmith, stepney, wandsworth and enfield 464 00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,670 But always it was the wrong place. 465 00:20:07,703 --> 00:20:10,906 Sorry, enfield. 466 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,243 We apologize for any inconvenience 467 00:20:14,276 --> 00:20:16,445 Caused by our bombing. 468 00:20:16,479 --> 00:20:18,948 Sorry. 469 00:20:20,316 --> 00:20:21,984 But what of mr. neutron-- 470 00:20:22,018 --> 00:20:25,254 The most fearfully dangerous man in the world 471 00:20:25,287 --> 00:20:28,491 The man who could destroy entire galaxies with his wrist 472 00:20:28,524 --> 00:20:30,893 The man who could tear fruit machines apart 473 00:20:30,926 --> 00:20:31,961 With his eyeballs? 474 00:20:31,994 --> 00:20:33,662 He had not been idle. 475 00:20:33,696 --> 00:20:35,831 In fact, he had fallen in love 476 00:20:35,865 --> 00:20:39,702 With the lady who does for mrs. entrail. 477 00:20:39,735 --> 00:20:41,037 Oh, hello, mr. n. 478 00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,572 Terrible about enfield, isn't it? 479 00:20:43,606 --> 00:20:45,341 It's all gone; so is staines. 480 00:20:45,374 --> 00:20:47,009 Lovely shops they used to have in staines 481 00:20:47,043 --> 00:20:49,145 And stanmore, where the a.a. offices used to be. 482 00:20:49,178 --> 00:20:51,847 I don't know where we'll pay our a.a. subscriptions to now. 483 00:20:51,881 --> 00:20:53,115 Do you know where we'll pay 484 00:20:53,149 --> 00:20:54,917 Our a.a. subscriptions to now, mr. n? 485 00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:58,921 I didn't know you were a member of the a.a., mrs. s.c.u.m. 486 00:20:58,954 --> 00:21:02,725 Oh, yes, ever since the corsair broke down in leytonstone. 487 00:21:02,758 --> 00:21:04,427 They towed it all the way to deauville 488 00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:05,294 F.o.c. 489 00:21:05,327 --> 00:21:06,295 Yes, you know f.o.c.-- 490 00:21:06,328 --> 00:21:07,229 Free of charge. 491 00:21:07,263 --> 00:21:08,264 Well, my husband ken-- 492 00:21:08,297 --> 00:21:09,699 K.e.n.-- he said... 493 00:21:09,732 --> 00:21:12,368 Oh, forget about your husband, mrs. s.c.u.m. 494 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,537 Or may I call you "mrs. s.?" 495 00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:16,539 You can call me "linda" if you like. 496 00:21:16,572 --> 00:21:19,241 No, I'd rather call you "mrs. s." 497 00:21:19,275 --> 00:21:20,743 Oh. 498 00:21:20,776 --> 00:21:23,245 And you can call me "mr. n." 499 00:21:23,279 --> 00:21:25,214 Well, that's what I was calling you. 500 00:21:25,247 --> 00:21:28,718 Mrs. s., there is something I have to tell you. 501 00:21:28,751 --> 00:21:30,119 Yes, mr. n.? 502 00:21:30,152 --> 00:21:34,090 I have just won a kellogg's corn flake competition. 503 00:21:34,123 --> 00:21:36,425 Oh, mr. n., that's wonderful! 504 00:21:36,459 --> 00:21:40,129 I got the ball in exactly the right place. 505 00:21:40,162 --> 00:21:42,698 The prize is funt5,000 in cash 506 00:21:42,732 --> 00:21:46,102 Or as much ice cream as you can eat. 507 00:21:46,135 --> 00:21:48,838 funt5,000! 508 00:21:48,871 --> 00:21:51,574 I was thinking of taking the ice cream. 509 00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:53,109 Oh, no! 510 00:21:53,142 --> 00:21:54,844 It's been so hot recently. 511 00:21:54,877 --> 00:21:57,446 You couldn't eat that much ice cream, mr. n. 512 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,750 Mrs. s., I can eat enormous quantities of ice cream 513 00:22:00,783 --> 00:22:02,084 Without being sick. 514 00:22:02,118 --> 00:22:04,020 No, no, take the funt5,000! 515 00:22:04,053 --> 00:22:05,888 Please take the funt5,000! 516 00:22:05,921 --> 00:22:08,157 I was thinking if we got married... 517 00:22:08,190 --> 00:22:09,458 Oh, yes. 518 00:22:09,492 --> 00:22:13,062 We could use the funt 5,000 to buy a spoon. 519 00:22:13,095 --> 00:22:14,463 Oh, we could buy a lot more than that. 520 00:22:14,497 --> 00:22:16,966 And then fill up with ice cream. 521 00:22:16,999 --> 00:22:18,701 Oh, forget about the ice cream; 522 00:22:18,734 --> 00:22:19,802 We need the money. 523 00:22:19,835 --> 00:22:22,171 We need nothing, for there is something 524 00:22:22,204 --> 00:22:24,273 I have not told you, mrs. s.c.u.m. 525 00:22:24,306 --> 00:22:26,375 Oh, please, call me "mrs. s." 526 00:22:26,409 --> 00:22:27,977 No, I would rather go back 527 00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:31,147 To calling you mrs. s.c.u.m., mrs. s.c.u.m. 528 00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:33,549 I am the most powerful man in the universe. 529 00:22:33,582 --> 00:22:36,052 There is nothing I cannot do. 530 00:22:36,085 --> 00:22:37,687 Oh, mr. n. 531 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,556 I want you to be my helpmate. 532 00:22:40,589 --> 00:22:45,761 As tarzan had his jane, as napoleon had his josephine 533 00:22:45,795 --> 00:22:50,032 As frankie laine had whoever he had... 534 00:22:50,066 --> 00:22:51,434 I want you to help me 535 00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:53,703 In my plan to dominate the world. 536 00:22:53,736 --> 00:22:56,238 Oh, mr. n., that I should be so lucky! 537 00:22:56,272 --> 00:22:59,508 You're not jewish, are you? 538 00:22:59,542 --> 00:23:01,777 Another time was when I as in cairo 539 00:23:01,811 --> 00:23:03,813 I was disguised as a water hydrant. 540 00:23:03,846 --> 00:23:05,981 The whole top part of my head had been removed and... 541 00:23:06,015 --> 00:23:07,016 Please, mr. salad 542 00:23:07,049 --> 00:23:08,984 You must tell us where neutron is. 543 00:23:09,018 --> 00:23:12,388 And I functioned, do you hear? 544 00:23:12,421 --> 00:23:13,389 I really worked. 545 00:23:13,422 --> 00:23:15,024 I could put out a fire. 546 00:23:15,057 --> 00:23:16,292 Mind you, it hurt a bit. 547 00:23:16,325 --> 00:23:18,627 Please, mr. salad, there isn't much time. 548 00:23:18,661 --> 00:23:20,129 Where is neutron? 549 00:23:20,162 --> 00:23:26,168 Okay, give me another meatball, and I'll tell you. 550 00:23:28,237 --> 00:23:30,106 Okay, listen carefully. 551 00:23:30,139 --> 00:23:33,075 I won't repeat this, you understand? 552 00:23:33,109 --> 00:23:34,343 Yes, yes, quick. 553 00:23:34,377 --> 00:23:37,613 I know where neutron is right now. 554 00:23:37,646 --> 00:23:41,650 I know the exact address and the exact house 555 00:23:41,684 --> 00:23:42,952 And the exact road. 556 00:23:42,985 --> 00:23:44,053 Okay, where is it? 557 00:23:44,086 --> 00:23:45,955 He's not in america. 558 00:23:45,988 --> 00:23:47,823 No? 559 00:23:47,857 --> 00:23:50,092 He's not in asia. 560 00:23:50,126 --> 00:23:51,861 No? 561 00:23:51,894 --> 00:23:54,030 He's not in australia. 562 00:23:54,063 --> 00:23:55,331 No? 563 00:23:55,364 --> 00:23:56,565 He's in... 564 00:23:56,599 --> 00:23:57,366 Yes? 565 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,234 Europe. 566 00:23:58,267 --> 00:23:59,435 Yes? 567 00:23:59,468 --> 00:24:00,936 You want to know where in europe? 568 00:24:00,970 --> 00:24:01,971 Yes! 569 00:24:02,004 --> 00:24:04,273 Okay, okay, I'll tell you! 570 00:24:04,306 --> 00:24:06,609 He's in england, in london 571 00:24:06,642 --> 00:24:08,811 At number 19... 572 00:24:08,844 --> 00:24:11,681 Okay, that's the yukon, what's left? 573 00:24:11,714 --> 00:24:14,450 Only ruislip, the gobi desert, and your office, sir. 574 00:24:14,483 --> 00:24:17,119 Okay, we'll start with my office. 575 00:24:17,153 --> 00:24:23,392 Ankwat I odr inkerat, gobi desert ulverston road box. 576 00:24:26,195 --> 00:24:29,265 I will take you away from all this, mrs. s.c.u.m. 577 00:24:29,298 --> 00:24:32,435 Oh, mr. n., I'd follow you anywhere. 578 00:24:32,468 --> 00:24:34,837 We will have two weeks in benidorm. 579 00:24:34,870 --> 00:24:36,339 Oh, yes, yes. 580 00:24:36,372 --> 00:24:37,740 And I will make you 581 00:24:37,773 --> 00:24:42,812 The most beautiful woman in the world. 582 00:24:48,551 --> 00:24:50,753 Ooh, it's beautiful. 583 00:24:50,786 --> 00:24:55,891 Oh, mr. n., you have made my heart sing. 584 00:24:55,925 --> 00:24:58,294 Late in life's pageant it may be 585 00:24:58,327 --> 00:25:02,732 But you have made roses bloom anew for me. 586 00:25:02,765 --> 00:25:05,001 Life's rich harvest is being... 587 00:25:05,034 --> 00:25:07,203 Shut up, mrs. s., we must hurry! 588 00:25:07,236 --> 00:25:08,604 Oh, i... 589 00:25:08,637 --> 00:25:10,706 I'd better leave a note for ken; 590 00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:12,141 He'll be expecting us. 591 00:25:12,174 --> 00:25:14,543 Has mr. neutron escaped in time? 592 00:25:14,577 --> 00:25:16,479 Is the world utterly destroyed? 593 00:25:16,512 --> 00:25:19,815 How can mr. neutron and his child bride survive? 594 00:25:19,849 --> 00:25:21,784 Will his mighty powers be of any avail 595 00:25:21,817 --> 00:25:22,985 Against the holocaust? 596 00:25:23,019 --> 00:25:25,488 Stay tuned to this channel. 597 00:25:25,521 --> 00:25:26,622 Hello. 598 00:25:26,655 --> 00:25:28,324 Well, in fact, what happens is 599 00:25:28,357 --> 00:25:31,127 That they are saved by mr. neutron's mighty powers 600 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,329 Just as the last bomb falls on ruislip. 601 00:25:33,362 --> 00:25:35,798 However, the earth has been blown off its axis 602 00:25:35,831 --> 00:25:39,001 And in a most dramatic and dangerous and expensive sequence 603 00:25:39,035 --> 00:25:40,536 It spins off into space. 604 00:25:40,569 --> 00:25:43,472 There are appallingly expensive scenes of devastation and horror 605 00:25:43,506 --> 00:25:45,975 And the final incredibly expensive climax is reached 606 00:25:46,008 --> 00:25:48,644 As thousands of ape monsters in very expensive costumes 607 00:25:48,678 --> 00:25:50,179 Descend from the sky onto these 608 00:25:50,212 --> 00:25:52,715 Plug up a whole city which had to be specially built 609 00:25:52,748 --> 00:25:55,818 And fling them all into the sea very expensively. 610 00:25:55,851 --> 00:26:01,390 And we can see those very expensive scenes right now. 611 00:26:01,424 --> 00:26:05,294 Just after the credits have gotten through. 612 00:26:05,327 --> 00:26:08,831 Incidentally, these are going to be some of the most expensive 613 00:26:08,864 --> 00:26:11,100 And lavish scenes ever filmed by the bbc 614 00:26:11,133 --> 00:26:14,937 In conjunction with time-life, of course. 615 00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:16,806 There are some of the technical people 616 00:26:16,839 --> 00:26:18,441 Who have been involved in filming 617 00:26:18,474 --> 00:26:19,909 These very expensive scenes. 618 00:26:19,942 --> 00:26:22,244 The sound... very expensive sound 619 00:26:22,278 --> 00:26:24,613 Expensive visual effects there 620 00:26:24,647 --> 00:26:26,749 Expensive production assistant 621 00:26:26,782 --> 00:26:28,884 Expensive designer 622 00:26:28,918 --> 00:26:30,486 Cheap director. 623 00:26:30,519 --> 00:26:35,057 Well, we're going to see those very expensive scenes right now. 624 00:26:35,091 --> 00:26:36,459 Oh, come on 625 00:26:36,492 --> 00:26:42,565 You can give us another minute, mr. cotton, please. 626 00:26:45,267 --> 00:26:47,837 Good evening. 627 00:26:47,870 --> 00:26:50,406 Last week we learned how to saw a lady in half. 628 00:26:50,439 --> 00:26:51,907 This week we're going to learn 629 00:26:51,941 --> 00:26:54,910 How to saw a lady in three bits and dispose of the body... 630 00:26:54,944 --> 00:26:57,346 Whoa! 631 00:26:57,646 --> 00:26:59,949 Look, look, if you can put on rubbish like that 632 00:26:59,982 --> 00:27:01,450 And "horse of the year show" 633 00:27:01,484 --> 00:27:03,953 You can afford us another minute, mr. cotton, please. 634 00:27:03,986 --> 00:27:06,322 I mean, look at this load of old... 635 00:27:06,355 --> 00:27:09,692 World domination t-shirts are available 636 00:27:09,725 --> 00:27:15,798 From the bbc, world domination department, cardiff.