[ Miss Piggy Screaming ]
[ Screaming ] YOU CREEP !
GET OFF ! OKAY, BUDDY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SKATE ! KNOW THAT ?
WHAT'S GOING ON ? SHE STOLE MY PURSE.
WHAT ? GOOD TRY, FELLA. COME ON.
WHAT ? THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH A LADY ! UNDERSTAND ?
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
PIGGY ? KERMIT ? MMM !
ARE YOU OKAY ? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
UM, SIGHTSEEING. [ Giggles ]
BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT OF TOWN. YEAH.
I DO NOT WISH TO DISCUSS IT IN PRESENT COMPANY.
BUT-- OH, PIGGY !
UH, THAT'S OKAY, KERMIT. I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT PETE'S.
HUH ? OKAY.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT HURT, MISS PIGGY.
HMPH !
PIGGY ? WHAT'S GOING ON ?
WELL, YOU'RE CERTAINLY LOOKING DIFFERENT NOW.
NO GOLD CHAINS, NO SHIRT CUT TO THE NAVEL, NO... "TOUPE" !
HMPH ! QUELLE DIFFERENCE.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS FRENCH STUFF ?
UH, BY SHEER CHANCE I HAPPENED TO LEARN FRENCH...
AND GET A JOB INTERPRETING AT THE U.N.
[ Panting ] WHAT ?
CAN I GET MY SKATES BACK, PLEASE ?
JUST A SECOND. HOW'D YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT "TOUPE" ?
NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX. HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME ?
I'LL UNLACE THEM WHILE YOU FIGHT. IT'S NO TROUBLE.
PIGGY, HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME ?
MAYBE SPYING ONVOUS AND THAT CERTAIN YOUNG GIRL OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER.
YOU TWO-TIMING HER ? NO, IT'S JUST JENNY. SHE'S A FRIEND.
SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO HELP ME SELL THE SHOW. HA !
HE'S GOT TO SELL THE SHOW. WHAT SHOW ?
IF SHE IS JUST A FRIEND, WHAT ABOUT THE HUGGIES ?
WHAT ? THE HUGGIES ? YOU GAVE JENNY THE HUGGIES ?
MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF WE HAD NEVER MET.
THEN YOU AND JENNY WOULD NOT BE TORMENTED BY MY PRESENCE.
[ Sobbing ] SEE WHAT THE HUGGIES WILL GET YOU ?
JENNY AND I WERE HUGGING BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS.
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO. FRIENDS DO NOT SPY.
YEAH, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
I SPIED BECAUSE I CARE !
I CARE TOO ! WHY DON'T YOU SAY SO ?
I JUST DID ! ALL RIGHT !
[ Both Screaming, Panting ]
KEEP THE SKATES. KEEP THE SKATES.
I NEVER USE THEM ANYWAY. I JUST LIKE TO RUN AROUND IN SHORTS.
BUT--
[ Horse Whinnies ] OH.
HEY ! WAIT A MINUTE !
COME ON, PIGGY.
[ Squeals ]
LOOK, WALDORF. IT'S THE FROG AND THE PIG.
LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE IN LOVE. YEAH.
KIND OF MAKES YOU SICK, DOESN'T IT ? [ Both Laughing ]
WOO-WOO ! HEY, LOVEY-DOVEY !
[ Waldorf ] HUBBA-HUBBA !
KERMY, I'M SORRY I YELLED AT YOU.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHEN I SAID IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF WE HAD NEVER MET.
IN FACT, I WISH WE'D MET MUCH SOONER.
HA, HA. KERMY ?
KERMY, JUST IMAGINE.
WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL IF WE'D KNOWN EACH OTHER WHEN WE WERE LITTLE ?
HMM ? [ Grunts ]
IMAGINE. LITTLE KERMY.
[ Chuckles ] LITTLE PIGGY.
AH. [ Chuckles ]
## NO MATTER WHAT LIFE MAY BRING ##
? ## NO MATTER WHAT I MAY DO ?
## ## BE SURE OF ONE SPECIAL THING
## I'M GONNA ALWAYS BE LOVING YOU ##
## GONNA BE A MOVIE STAR ##
## AND I'M GONNA LEARN TO DRIVE A CAR ##
? ## GONNA BE A VETERINARIAN TOO ?
## AND I'M GONNA ALWAYS LOVE YOU ##
WHOA !
####
HI, GUYS. HI, FOZZIE.
HI, KERMY ! HELLO !
## I'LL BE THE CUTEST MODEL YOU'VE EVER SAW ##
## AND THEN I THINK I'LL STUDY CRIMINAL LAW ##
## AND I'M GONNA LEARN TO SCUBA DIVE TOO ##
## AND I'M GONNA ALWAYS LOVE YOU ##
## MA-MA, DA-DA, POO-POOP SH-WAH-WAH ##
## MA-MA, DA-DA, POO-POOP SH-WAH-WAH-WAH ##
## WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WAA ##
## I'M GONNA BE A SINGER WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO ##
## AND I'M GONNA LEARN TO FLY A PLANE ## ## WACKA-WACKA-WACKA ##
## I'LL BE A DOCTOR WITH DISEASE I'LL HELP YOU WITH YOUR SNEEZES ##
## AND PRACTICE NEUROSURGERY ON YOUR BRAIN ##
## GONNA CLIMB THE MATTERHORN ##
## BUT ONLY AFTER ALL OUR CHILDREN ARE BORN ##
## 'CAUSE I WANT TO BE A GOOD MOMMY TOO ##
## AND I'M GONNA ALWAYS LOVE YOU ##
## MA-MA, DA-DA, POO-POOP SH-WAH-WAH ##
## MA-MA, DA-DA, POO-POO P SH-WAH-WAH ##
## MA-MA, DA-DA, POO-POOP SH-WAH-WAH-WAH ##
## WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WAA ##
## SHE'S GONNA BE A MOVIE STAR ##
## AND SHE'S GONNA LEARN TO DRIVE A CAR ##
## SHE'S GONNA BE A VETERINARIAN TOO ##
## AND I'M GONNA ALWAYS LOVE YOU, YOU, YOU ##
## WELL, SHE'S GONNA BE A SINGER WOO, WOO, WOO ##
## AND SHE'S GONNA LEARN TO FLY A PLANE ##
## SHE'LL BE A DOCTOR WITH DISEASES AND HELP YOU WITH YOUR SNEEZES ##
## AND PRACTICE NEUROSURGERY ON YOUR BRAIN ##
## GONNA CLIMB THE MATTERHORN ##
## BUT ONLY AFTER ALL MY CHILDREN ARE BORN ##
## 'CAUSE I WANT TO BE A GOOD MOMMY TOO ##
## AND I'M GONNA ALWAYS LOVE YOU ##
## MA-MA, DA-DA, POO-POOP SH-WAH-WAH ##
## WAH ####
[ Murmuring ] UH, UH, PIGGY,
I THINK THE RIDE IS OVER.
OH ! [ Laughs, Clears Throat ]
BYE, JENNY. SEE YOU TOMORROW. YEAH. TAKE CARE.
UH, WELL, UH-- [ Clears Throat ]
UH, WELL, UH, I-- HERE WE ARE.
IT SURE IS NICE WE'RE ALL TOGETHER LIKE THIS, ISN'T IT ?
YEAH. HMPH.
[ Woman ] MISS ! IS CUSTOMER !
COMING. EXCUSE ME. I WILL GET IT.
AFTER ALL, MOIAM A WAITRESS.
HEY, PETE, THANKS FOR GIVING PIGGY A JOB.
IS RATS COOKING. IS FROG WASHING. IS PIG WAITRESS.
IS NO COFFEE SHOP. IS ZOO !
HMPH. YEAH.
HEY, KERMIT, COME ON.
WHAT ABOUT THE SHOW ? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NEXT ? I--
FROG, IS MAILMAN COME WITH LETTERS FOR YOU.
THAT MUST BE MORE MAIL FROM THE GANG.
I'LL HAVE TWO EGGS OVER EASY-- [ Kermit ] PIGGY ! PIGGY !
PARDONNEZ-MOI,DEAR. [ Chuckles ]
[ Panting ]
IS SOMETHING WRONG ?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN INTER-SPECIES DATING ?
I'VE GONE OUT WITH SOME RATS BEFORE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
[ Groans ]
IT'S FROM GONZO. GONZO.
GREAT. IT GOES, "DEAR KERMIT, I AM IN MICHIGAN."
[ Gonzo's Voice ] "CAMILLA AND I HAVE JOINED A TRAVELING AQUACADE.
"IT'S NOT LIKE BROADWAY, BUT I HAVE MET SOME GOOD-LOOKING CHICKENS HERE.
WE PUT TOGETHER THIS TERRIFIC NEW ACT."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE INCREDIBLE GONZO !
THANK YOU, ARRIBA ! AND THANK YOU !
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL CROWD !
NOW, FOR TODAY'S CLIMACTIC ACT, LOOK YONDER !
I WILL FIRST MAKE A DEATH-DEFYING LEAP FROM THE LOOP-DE-LOOP RAMP,
SPINNING AND HURTLING MY BODY THROUGH THE FLAMING CIRCLE OF DOOM...
AND LANDING COMFORTABLY ON THE IMITATION-LEATHER EASY CHAIR...
WHILE MY CHICKENS DO THEIR IMPRESSION OF TONY BENNETT...
SINGING THE "WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE."
PLEASE ! I MUST HAVE SILENCE !
ARE YOU READY ?
THANK YOU, MARGARET. HIT IT, GIRLS !
BAWK, BAWK, BAWK, BAWK !
#### [ Clucking In Time To The "William Tell Overture" ]
HERE WE GO ! [ Laughs ] WAIT. I CAN'T SEE.
] - [ Engine Revving ] - #### [ Clucking Continues
WHOA ! HEY, I FORGOT MY SKIS !
DON'T SOUND LIKE TONY BENNETT TO ME.
[ Kermit's Voice ] "EVERYTHING'S GOING SWIMMINGLY. LOVE, GONZO."
HEY, HERE'S ONE FROM ROWLF.
[ Rowlf's Voice ] "DEAR KERMIT, HOW'S THE FROG ?
"I'M IN DELAWARE, AND I FOUND A TERRIFIC JOB IN MANAGEMENT.
I'M SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS, AND I LOVE WHAT I'M DOING."
I AM MR. SKEFFINGTON.
ONE OF MY SECRETARIES MADE A RESERVATION FOR THE WEEKEND...
IN THE NAME OF SNOOKUMS.
[ Barks ] OH, YEAH.
THIS IS SNOOKUMS.
HMM.
NOW, DADDY WANTS HIS LITTLE SNOOKIE-OOKUMS...
TO BE ESPECIALLY GOOD THIS WEEKEND WHILE DADDY IS GONE,
OR HE'LL BE VERY ANGRY.
DON'T WORRY. WE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER. HIM.
TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM. SNOOKUMS IS A HIM !
SNOOKUMS GETS BREAKFAST AT 8:00 A.M. EXACTLY. OKAY.
BREAKFAST IS QUICHE. YES, SIR.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO WRITE IT DOWN ?
- PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. - WRITE IT DOWN !
OH. DOG GETS QUICHE AT 8:00.
WHATEVER THAT IS. MARVIN, PUT HIM ON THE DESK.
DO YOU HAVE ANY TOYS HERE ?
WHAT KIND OF TOYS WOULD YOU LIKE, SIR ?
DOGGY TOYS.
RUBBER BALLS, RUBBER FIRE HYDRANTS, RUBBER NEWSPAPERS.
SNOOKUMS PREFERS THE RUBBERWALL STREET JOURNAL TO THE RUBBERWASHINGTON POST.
DON'T WE ALL ?
WRITE IT DOWN. YEAH, RUBBER WALL STREET JOURNAL.
NOW, WHILE DADDY'S GONE,
THE LITTLE LUMPY-DUM-DUMS WON'T HAVE HIS DADDY...
TO GIVE HIM WASHY-SCRUBBY.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
YOU SPEAK CHINESE LIKE A NATIVE.
NOW, SHAKE HANDS. BEG PARDON ?
SHAKE ! SHAKE ! OH, OH, YEAH, YEAH.
GOOD BOY. NOW, SIT. YES, SIR.
STAY. STAY.
STAY.
STAY. STAY. STAY.
[ Door Closes ]
THAT WAS THE MOST HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.
HEY, SNOOKIE ! HEY, LOOK AT LITTLE SNOOKIE-OOKUMS !
SNOOKIE-WOOKUMS WANT HIS LITTLE BONEY-WONEY ?
LITTLE BINKY-BOOTER !
HEY, YOU GOT A SQUISHY BOTTOM.
- LAY OFF, WILL YA ? - [ Howling ]
ROWLF, HEY, ROWLF, COME ON. LET US OUT OF HERE.
WE WANT TO GO HOME ! YEAH, ROWLF, COME ON. WE WANT TO GO HOME.
LET US OUT. LET US GO HOME ! [ Howling ]
YEAH, ME TOO. [ Howls ]
[ All Howling ]
"LOVE, FROM ROWLF."
THEY'RE ALL DOING TERRIFIC, AREN'T THEY ?
HERE'S ONE MORE. "DEAR MR. KERMIT,
"I WOULD BE VERY INTERESTED IN TALKING WITH YOU ABOUT...
YOUR MUSICAL, MANHATTAN MELODIES."
"PLEASE COME TO MY OFFICE AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
SINCERELY, BERNARD CRAWFORD, PRODUCER."
I'VE HEARD OF HIM. HE'S A BIG-TIME BROADWAY PRODUCER.
REALLY ? YEAH !
MAYBE HE WANTS YOU TO SIGN A CONTRACT.
I BETTER GET OVER THERE RIGHT AWAY.
REMEMBER, JUST ACT CONFIDENT...
LIKE YOU KNOW THE SHOW IS GOING TO KILL THEM.
RIGHT. THANKS, JENNY. [ Kissing Sound ]
OH, GOOD-BYE, PIGGY. [ Stammers ]
CALL US AND TELL US WHAT HAPPENS.
OKAY ! HEY, WATCH IT !
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO GET A CONTRACT SO I CAN GO OUT AND KILL THEM.
NAW.
UH, MAY I HELP YOU ? I'M LOOKING FOR MR. CRAWFORD.
ARE YOU KERMIT THE FROG ? YEAH.
UH, I'M-- I'M MR. CRAWFORD. OH, REALLY ?
YEAH. WOW.
THE OFFICE BOY IS OUT GETTING LUNCH. UH-HUH.
YOU KNOW KIDS NOWADAYS. THEY'RE ALWAYS... EATING LUNCH.
YEAH. WELL, YOU WANT TO GO IN YOUR OFFICE ? NO, ACTUALLY--
WHY DON'T WE JUST HAVE A SEAT OVER THERE FOR A MINUTE, OKAY ?
SURE. YOU'RE VERY YOUNG TO BE A PRODUCER.
YOU NOTICED. I STARTED WHEN I WAS VERY-- YEAH.
LOOK, CAN I TELL YOU THE TRUTH ? MM-HMM.
THE THING IS THAT I'M NOT BERNARD CRAWFORD. I'M RONNIE CRAWFORD.
I SIGNED MY FATHER'S NAME TO THE LETTER BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D COME OTHERWISE.
BUTIWANT TO PRODUCE YOUR SHOW ON BROADWAY !
YOU DO ? YEAH, YEAH, I LOVE IT ! IT IS SO DIFFERENT.
IT'S PERFECT FOR MY FIRST PRODUCTION.
MY DAD AND I HAVE THIS AGREEMENT-- [ Man ] RONNIE !
I'M COMING UP THE STAIRS, AND I WANT MY LUNCH. THAT'S MY DAD.
RONNIE ! NOW.
DAD, I GOT GREAT NEWS !
IF YOU TWO ARE IN LOVE, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.
REMEMBER YOU PROMISED ME I COULD HAVE ONE CHANCE TO BECOME A BROADWAY PRODUCER.
YOU WOULD GET THE SET AND THE LIGHTS AND THE SCENERY AND EVERYTHING !
I WANT TO TAKE THAT CHANCE RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS KERMIT, AND HE HAS WRITTEN A WONDERFUL MUSICAL CALLED MANHATTAN MELODIES.
I WANT TO PRODUCE IT.
WHEN DO WE HEAR THE GREAT NEWS ? DAD !
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. TELL ME, MR. AUTHOR.
WHAT IS THIS MUSICAL ? ALL DANCING, ALL CROAKING ?
IT NEEDS A LITTLE WORK. THERE'S STILL SOMETHING MISSING.
THE TWO LEADS GET MARRIED. THEN THERE'S THIS SONG-- ## LOOK AT ME, HERE I AM ##
HOLD IT. I'M ALLERGIC TO AMPHIBIANS SINGING.
WHO'S GOING TO BE STARRING IN THIS MASTERPIECE ?
IT'S JUST ME AND MY FRIENDS. THEY'RE ALL DOGS AND BEARS AND CHICKENS.
I TOLD YOU. I WANT TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
SO PUT SOME JELL-O DOWN YOUR PANTS. COME HERE.
DON'T YOU REALIZE IT MIGHT BE AGAINST THE LAW HAVING A CHICKEN DANCING ONSTAGE ?
YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO GO BACK ON YOUR PROMISE ?
DID I SAY THAT ? I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING OF THE KIND.
I'LL DO EVERYTHING I SAID I WOULD.
JUST BECAUSE THIS THING IS RIDICULOUS DOESN'T MEAN IT MIGHT NOT MAKE IT ON BROADWAY.
WHEN I STARTED OUT IN SHOW BUSINESS-- THANK YOU, DAD !
YEAH, THANKS, DAD. SEE YOU LATER !
YEAH, I GOT TO TELL THE WHOLE GANG !
[ Ringing ]
HELLO, PETE'S. JENNY ?
KERMIT ? YEAH !
WHAT HAPPENED ? KERMIT, WHAT ?
WE SOLD THE SHOW. THE PRODUCER WANTS TO PUT IT ON BROADWAY.
REALLY ? WHAT ?
THE PRODUCER SAID HE'S GOING TO PUT THE SHOW ON BROADWAY ! [ Both Screaming ]
[ Screaming Continues ]
[ Piggy Panting ]
LISTEN. TELL PIGGY SHE'S GONNA BE A STAR.
AND, JENNY, I'D LIKE YOU TO DO THE COSTUMES.
OH, KERMIT, THANK-- KERMIT, KERMIT, KERMY--
NOW THAT WE'LL BE ON BROADWAY, REMEMBER WHAT YOU PROMISED ABOUT GETTING MARRIED ?
NOT NOW, PIGGY. WE GOT TO WRITE THE GANG AND GET THEM BACK.
I'LL BE AT PETE'S IN TEN MINUTES. WE DID IT !
WE DID IT !
? ## BACK TOGETHER AGAIN ?
## LA-DA-DI-DA DI-DEE-DI-DEE ##
[ Honking ] [ Screams ]
[ Thudding ]
[ Chattering ]
PETE, ARE YOU SURE KERMIT WASN'T AT THE BUS TERMINAL ?
NO, HE'S NO THERE. IS BETTER WAIT. COME. SIT DOWN.
BUT KERMIT SAID HE'D BE HERE IN TEN MINUTES. HE'S NEVER BEEN GONE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
LISTEN, I TELL YOU WHAT IS.
PEOPLES IS PEOPLES. IS FROG GONE ? YES.
IS PEOPLES WORRYING ? IS PEOPLES LOOKING ? IS NO COME ?
BUT IS PEOPLES WORKING ? IS WATER BOILING ?
IS COME. YEAH.
PEOPLES IS PEOPLES.
[ Crying ]
PIGGY ? PIGGY, I'M SURE KERMIT'S ALL RIGHT.
[ Crying ]
I BET HE GOT SO EXCITED ABOUT THE SHOW HE LOST TRACK OF TIME.
NO, NO, HE'S MISSING. I KNOW IT.
PIGGY ? HMM ?
AREN'T YOU EXCITED ?
JUST THINK. YOU'RE GOING TO BE ON BROADWAY IN A FEW MONTHS.
TWO WEEKS. UH, THE SHOW OPENS IN TWO WEEKS.
PLACE IS CLOSED.
I'M RONNIE CRAWFORD. I'M PRODUCING KERMIT'S SHOW.
OH, WELL, WE'RE KERMIT'S FRIENDS.
I'M JENNY. I'M HER FATHER.
THE SHOW OPENS IN TWO WEEKS ?
MY DAD SAID-- OH, I'M LETTING MY DAD HELP OUT.
HE SAID WE COULD HAVE THE SETS AND PROPS AND THE COSTUMES,
BUT THE SHOW HAS TO OPEN IN TWO WEEKS.
DID YOU JUST SAY KERMIT IS MISSING ?
THE WRITER AND THE STAR OF MY SHOW IS MISSING ?
AND WE OPEN IN TWO WEEKS ?
NO SWEAT. COME ON, PIGGY. WE'LL FIND HIM.
WAIT. WE GOT TO GET HIS FRIENDS BACK, THOSE BEARS AND CHICKENS AND THINGS.
POP, COULD YOU SEND TELEGRAMS TO KERMIT'S FRIENDS ?
PLEASE ! OKEYDOKEY.
LET'S GO ! GREAT ! COME ON !
IS NO SWEAT. I WRITE GOOD.
DEAR BEARS AND CHICKENS AND THINGS,
IS NEW YORK ! IS PLAY ! IS TIME !
KERMIT NEEDS ME.
BETH, BETH, BETH, WAKE UP. HEY.
I'M GOING TO NEW YORK CITY TO BE ON BROADWAY !
OH, NO, IS IT SPRING ? ALL RIGHT, I'M UP.
HEY, GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK !
HEY, GIRLS, WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK !
NEW YORK ? YEAH ! RIGHT, RIGHT.
NEW YORK CITY ! OH, BOY !
[ Woman On P.A. ] DR. GOMEZ, 3-33, STAT.
[ Woman ] GOOD MORNING.
I SEE WE'VE HAD OUR BREAKFAST, HAVEN'T WE ?
HI, DOCTOR.
HOW'S OUR AMNESIA PATIENT THIS MORNING ?
I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING LIKE MYSELF LATELY.
I TELL YOU WHAT, IF I MAY, I'D LIKE TO CHECK YOUR REFLEXES ONCE AGAIN TODAY.
JUST TAKE A SECOND.
A LITTLE SLOW...
AND CONFUSED, BUT THAT'S TO BE EXPECTED,
BECAUSE, AS YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE AMNESIA.
I'M GOING TO CHECK TO SEE THAT THERE ARE NO PHYSICAL INJURIES ONE LAST TIME.
[ Giggles ] TICKLE ?
THIS MIGHT HURT JUST FOR A MINUTE.
BUT IT'LL BE OVER SOON.
AH, ADEQUATE MUSCULOSKELETAL RESPONSE. HMM.
NOW I WANT YOU TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH. THIS WILL HURT.
[ Gasps, Whimpers ]
[ Exhales ] ALL RIGHT.
NO ROTATOR CUFF DISLOCATION. HMM.
NOW, LET'S TRY THE MANDIBLE.
[ Grunts ]
PEACHY. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. YOU HAVE AMNESIA.
NOW, THE PROBLEM IS, YOU WERE FOUND WITH NO IDENTIFICATION...
AND, ODDLY ENOUGH, WEARING NO CLOTHING.
SO, I DID RESEARCH INTO THE MAJOR NUDIST COLONIES IN THE AREA.
I THINK I'VE COME UP WITH SOMETHING. WHAT ?
YOU ARE MR. ENRICO TORTELLINI OF PASSAIC, NEW JERSEY.
WELL, I REALLY DON'T FEEL ITALIAN.
IT WAS JUST A LONG SHOT.
MR. "X," I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT YOUR CASE IS HOPELESS.
WHY DON'T YOU FIND A NICE JOB AND MAKE A NEW LIFE FOR YOURSELF ?
WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU IS GIVE YOU A NICE CLEAN SET OF CLOTHES.
WISH YOU A LOT OF GOOD LUCK. WELL, THANK YOU, DOC.
#### [ Hums ]
[ Chattering ] OKAY, EVERYBODY. LISTEN, EVERYONE.
LISTEN. LISTEN. [ Whistles ]
LOOK, BUDDY, I DON'T TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF FOR ANYONE, EVEN IF IT IS ARTISTIC.
JANICE, EVERYBODY, PLEASE. I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU TOO.
BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT KERMIT IS GONE. HE'S DISAPPEARED !
KERMIT HAS DISAPPEARED ? YES !
- UH, EXCUSE ME. - YES ?
I'M LOOKING FOR THE GORDON EMPLOYMENT AGENCY.
- THAT'S ONE FLOOR DOWN. - OH, I SEE. THANK YOU.
WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD IT. WHAT'S YOUR NAME ?
UH, UH, PHIL.
UH, PHIL-UP. PHILLIP, PHIL.
PHILLIP PHIL. CATCHY NAME.
PHIL, I'M BILL, AND THIS IS GIL.
PHIL, I'M GIL, AND THIS IS JILL.
PHIL, I'M JILL. YOU KNOW GIL AND BILL. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
WOULD YOU STEP INTO OUR OFFICE ?
WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE OPINION OF THE COMMON, ORDINARY FROG-ON-THE-STREET.
WE'RE IN THE AD GAME. WHAT DO YOU ADVERTISE ?
OCEAN BREEZE SOAP. I NEVER HEARD OF THAT.
[ Together ] WE KNOW.
THE TRUTH IS, OUR JOBS ARE ON THE LINE.
HERE. SIT DOWN. OH, YES.
WE'VE BEEN WORKING ALL NIGHT ON A NEW SLOGAN. TELL US IF YOU LIKE IT.
"OCEAN BREEZE SOAP, FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO STINK."
HMM.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK ? - BE FRANK, PHIL.
I DON'T LIKE IT. YOU DON'T ?
OH !
HOW ABOUT-- "OCEAN BREEZE SOAP. IT'S JUST LIKE TAKING AN OCEAN CRUISE,
ONLY THERE'S NO BOAT AND YOU DON'T ACTUALLY GO ANYWHERE."
SEEMS A BIT LONG. [ Both Whimpering ]
HAVE YOU TRIED SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE--
"OCEAN BREEZE SOAP WILL GET YOU CLEAN." [ Both ] HUH ?
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT JUST A SECOND.
YOU MEAN, JUST SAY WHAT THE PRODUCT DOES ?
NO ONE'S EVER TRIED THAT.
WELL, IT'S CRAZY. WHY, IT'S NUTS.
WE LOVE IT ! THANK YOU, PHIL.
IF WE CAN EVER DO SOMETHING FOR YOU, LET US KNOW.
I KIND OF NEED A JOB. [ Together ] HMM !
PHIL, YOU'VE GOT ONE RIGHT HERE.
WE CAN ALWAYS USE A FROG WITH HORSE SENSE.
YES, WELCOME ABOARD, PHIL.
YOU ARE WITH US NOW. YES.
MMM ! AHH !
WELL, WALDORF, THEY FINALLY MADE IT TO BROADWAY.
YEP, AND I ALREADY GOT TICKETS.
YOU DID ? ARE THEY GOOD SEATS ? THEY SURE ARE.
THEY'RE FOR THE NEXT TRAIN OUT OF TOWN ! [ Both Laughing ]
SO NOW THE SHOW OPENS IN JUST ONE WEEK.
THE PUBLICITY'S STARTED, AND TICKETS ARE ALREADY SELLING.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO REHEARSE DAY AND NIGHT TO GET READY,
AND WE HAVE GOT TO FIND KERMIT.
WHO IS THIS GUY ? HE'S RONNIE CRAWFORD. HE'S PRODUCING THE SHOW.
WHO'S SHE ? SHE'S JENNY. SHE'S A FRIEND OF KERMIT'S AND MINE.
WHAT ARE WE STANDING AROUND HERE FOR ? WE GOTTA FIND KERMIT !
YEAH ! LET'S GO !
GO ! GO ! GO ! GO !
KERMIT !
KERMIT ! KERMIT !
KERMIT ! HAVE YOU SEEN A FROG ?
[ Kermit Chattering ]
THIS IS A REVOLUTIONARY NEW SLOGAN WHICH IS, "OCEAN BREEZE WILL GET YOU--"
KERMIT ! KERMIT !
KERMIT !
HMM. YEAH ?
HMM. RIGHT.
[ Miss Piggy ] KERMIT !
KERMIT ? [ Laughs, Whimpers ]
KERMIT !
ROWLF, ROWLF. OH, FOZZIE.
KERMIT !
[ Growls ]
[ Chattering ]
HMM.
MR. MAYOR ! MR. MAYOR ! IT'S AN EMERGENCY. HOLD ON, EVERYBODY.
I'M LOOKING FOR A FROG WHO CAN SING AND DANCE.
IF HE CAN ALSO BALANCE THE BUDGET, I'LL HIRE HIM.
KERMIT ! FROG !
KERMIT ! KERMIT ! KERMIT ! KERMIT !
KERMIT ! KERMIT !
[ Echoing ] KERMIT ! KERMIT !
[ Echoing ] KERMIT !
WOW. I THOUGHT OPENING NIGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EXCITING.
YEAH, BUT NOT WITHOUT OUR LITTLE GREEN BUDDY.
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST CANCEL.
NO. NO, IT IS OPENING NIGHT TONIGHT.
THE SHOW MUST GO ON. KERMIT... WOULD WANT IT THAT WAY.
YEAH. YEAH.
THAT WAS A GREAT PRESENTATION YOU MADE THIS MORNING, JILL.
THANKS TO PHIL'S FLOW CHART. THANK YOU, JILL.
HOW ABOUT A NEW PLACE FOR LUNCH TODAY ? OKAY.
OH, GOOD. MMM !
[ Door Bell Dings ]
HMM. HMM.
THIS TIME I'LL TAKE THE BILL, GIL. OH, GOOD.
SOMETHING FROM THE GRILL, JILL ? NO, MEAT MAKES ME ILL, GIL.
HMM. [ Together ] HMM !
WE BETTER GO TO THE THEATER NOW AND GET READY.
YEAH. [ Metal Taps Glass ]
] #### [ Tapping "Together Again"
#### [ Tapping Continues ]
#### [ Humming ]
#### [ Tapping Continues ]
#### [ Humming ]
## TOGETHER AGAIN ##
HMM ? KERMY ?
JUST A COUPLE OF FROGS.
#### [ Tapping Continues ]
[ Gasps ] YO ! IT'S KERMIT !
[ Gasps ] OH !
KERMY ! HMM ?
- OH ! - IT'S KERMIT !
KERMY, KERMY, KERMY !
IT'S KERMIT ! HOW ARE YOU DOING ?
WHAT FRIENDLY SERVICE. HMM !
WHERE WERE YOU ? WE WERE ALL SO WORRIED. YEAH !
WHERE WERE YOU ? I BELIEVE THERE MUST BE SOME SORT OF MISTAKE.
HEY, PHIL, SINCE YOU KNOW THE WAITERS, WHY DON'T YOU ORDER FOR US ?
PHIL ? WHAT DOES HE MEAN PHIL ? KERMIT, WHAT'S WRONG ?
ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME ? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG.
I WILL HAVE THE TUNA MELT, PLEASE, MA'AM.
YOU DON'T KNOW US ? I'M AFRAID NOT.
SHOULD I ? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHOULD YOU ?
WE HAVE A SHOW TO PUT ON, YOUR SHOW, AND IT'S OPENING TONIGHT !
SEEING A SHOW WOULD BE A PLEASANT WAY TO SPEND THE TIME,
BUT I DO HAVE SOME MARKETING DATA TO REVIEW.
WHAT ? HMM !
HE REALLY DOESN'T REMEMBER US. WE HAVE TO GET HIM TO THE THEATER.
KERMIT, THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. GRAB HIM !
COME ON ! WHOA !
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME ?
HEY ! THEY MUST NOT GET A LOT OF REPEAT BUSINESS HERE.
[ Chattering ] [ Orchestra Tuning ]
SO, THE GRIZZLY BEAR, HE WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM.
THE PANDA BEAR IS JUST SITTING THERE. HE THINKS, "THIS IS ODD."
THEN THE PHONE RINGS. YOU KNOW WHO IT IS ? IT'S THE POLAR BEAR.
THE POLAR BEAR SAYS TO THE PANDA BEAR,
"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A KOALA BEAR."
GET IT ? "KOALA ?" WACKA, WACKA !
THIS IS ALL VERY AMUSING, BUT I HAVE TO BE GOING NOW. WAIT !
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ! IT'S NO USE. WE'VE BEEN TRYING FOR HOURS.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DO. WE HAVE TO GO ON WITHOUT HIM.
KERMIT, PLEASE ! WE NEED YOU ! COME BACK TO US !
LOOK, MAYBE YOU DO KNOW ME, BUT I DON'T REMEMBER YOU.
I WISH I DID.
YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR PLACES. #### [ Orchestra ]
PIGGY, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ?
LOOK AT ME. YOU ARE NOT PHIL. YOU ARE KERMIT THE FROG.
THAT'S GONZO. THAT'S FOZZIE. THAT'S ROWLF AND SCOOTER.
THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS. YOU WROTE THIS SHOW FOR THEM.
THAT'S RONNIE AND JENNY. THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS TOO. AND I'M PIGGY. LISTEN.
YOU ARE KERMIT THE FROG, AND YOU LOVE ME.
YOU WANT TO MARRY ME. YOU WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN WITH ME.
WITH YOU ? IN LOVE WITH A PIG ? [ Laughs ]
WAIT TILL I TELL THE GUYS IN MARKETING.
MAYBE YOU EXPECT ME TO GO HOG-WILD ?
MAYBE YOU COULD BRING HOME THE BACON, HUH ?
AH, THE SOUNDS OF LOVE. SOU-EE ! OINK-OINK !
CANCEL THE SHOW ! HAI-YA !
[ Groans ]
UH-- [ Gasps ]
[ Kermit ] PIGGY ? FOZZIE ?
WHERE AM I ANYWAY ? KERMIT ! KERMIT !
KERMY, YOU REMEMBER US ! YOU REMEMBERED !
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? WHAT'S GOING ON ?
YOU'RE GOING ON. IT'S BROADWAY ! YOU MADE IT ! [ Clamoring ]
NO, THE SCRIPT ISN'T READY. THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING.
IT'S TERRIFIC. WE GOT TO TELL EVERYBODY KERMIT'S OKAY. COME ON.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE OPENING NUMBER ?
YOU MEAN--
## LOOK AT ME HERE I AM ##
## RIGHT WHERE I BELONG ##
## I SEE THAT FACE COMIN' BACK TO ME ##
## LIKE AN OLD FAMILIAR SONG ##
## WHAT BETTER PLACE COULD ANYONE BE ##
## 'CAUSE YOU'RE HERE WITH ME ##
## IT'S ALL I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FO AND SO MUCH MORE ##
## AND NOW I'M HERE NOW YOU'RE HERE ##
## NOTHIN' CAN GO WRONG 'CAUSE I AM RIGHT WHERE ##
## I BELONG #### YES !
HERE WE GO ! [ Chattering ]
HI, GUYS ! KERMIT, COULD OUR FRIENDS WATCH THE SHOW FROM BACKSTAGE ?
COULD THEY ? UH, WAIT A MINUTE.
NO ! NO, THEY CANNOT WATCH THE SHOW FROM BACKSTAGE.
THAT'S IT ! THAT'S WHAT'S BEEN MISSING FROM THE SHOW.
THAT'S WHAT WE NEED: MORE FROGS AND DOGS AND BEARS AND CHICKENS AND WHATEVER.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA WATCH THE SHOW. YOU'RE GONNA BE IN THE SHOW ! COME ON, EVERYBODY !
[ Chattering ]
#### [ Orchestra ]
## LOOK AT US, HERE WE ARE RIGHT WHERE WE BELONG ##
? ## THE CURTAIN'S UP AND THE LIGHTS ARE BRIGHT AND THEY'RE PLAYING OUR OLD SONG ?
## WHAT BETTER PLACE COULD ANYONE BE ##
HEY ! IT'S KERMIT ! ## 'CAUSE YOU'RE HERE WITH ME ##
## SO, EVERYONE, HERE WE GO LET'S START THE SHOW ##
[ Horn Beeping ] [ Chattering ]
[ Whistle Blowing ] [ Horn Honks ]
[ Clucking ]
EXTRA ! EXTRA ! SOMEBODY IS GETTING MARRIED !
SOMEBODY IS GETTING MARRIED ? HEY ! SOMEBODY IS GETTING MARRIED !
WHOA ! SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED !
SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED ?
[ Clucking ]
## SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED ##
[ Together ] ## SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED ##
## SOMEBODY'S GETTING ##
## SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY ##
## SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY SOMEBODY ##
## SOMEBODY GET SOME FLOWERS SOMEBODY GET A RING ##
## SOMEBODY GET A CHAPEL AND A CHOIR TO SING ##
## SOMEBODY GET AN ORGAN TO PLAY ##
## 'CAUSE SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED TODAY ##
## SOMEBODY GET A PREACHER SOMEBODY BAKE A CAKE ##
## SOMEBODY GET SOME SHOES AND RICE AND PRESENTS TO TAKE ##
## SOMEBODY GET A SWEET NEGLIGEE ##
## 'CAUSE SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED TODAY ##
## WEDDING, WEDDING PIG AND FROGGY WEDDING ##
## SOMEBODY GET CHAMPAGNE SOMEBODY RENT A ROOM ##
## SOMEBODY GET THE LOVELY BRIDE AND SOMEBODY GET THE-- ## ## SOMEBODY GET THE-- ##
## SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY ##
## SOMEBODY GET THIS WEDDING UNDER WAY ##
#### [ Gibberish ]
## TODAY ##
[ Ringing ] [ Applause ]
## SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED ##
## TODAY ##
ARE THEY HERE YET ? ARE THEY HERE YET ?
DID I MISS IT ? AM I LATE ? THEY'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
OH, BOY, ME CAN HARDLY WAIT. YEAH.
ISN'T THIS EXCITING ? IT'S THE WEDDING OF THE YEAR.
CAN'T WE START WITHOUT THEM ? NO, YOU CAN'T UNTIL THEY'RE HERE.
? ## THEY'RE FINALLY GETTING ?
## MARRIED ##
## NOW ####
#### [ Organ ]
- OH ! - OH !
? ## HE'LL MAKE ME HAPPY ?
? ## EACH TIME I SEE HIM ?
## HE'LL BE THE REASON MY HEART CAN SING ##
## HE'LL STAND BESIDE ME ##
## AND I'LL HAVE EVERYTHING ##
## SHE'LL MAKE ME HAPPY ##
## EACH TIME I HOLD HER ##
## AND I WILL FOLLOW ##
## WHERE MY HEART MAY LEAD ##
## AND SHE'LL BE ALL I EVER NEED ##
## DAYS GO PASSING INTO YEARS ##
## YEARS GO PASSING DAY BY DAY ##
## SHE'LL MAKE HIM HAPPY ##
## NOW AND FOREVER ##
## UNTIL FOREVER ##
## THEIR LOVE WILL GROW ##
## SHE ONLY KNOWS ##
## HE'LL MAKE HER HAPPY ##
## THAT'S ALL SHE NEEDS ##
## TO KNOW ##
## THEY'LL BE SO HAPPY ##
## NOW AND FOREVER ##
## UNTIL FOREVER ##
## THEIR LOVE WILL GROW ##
## I ONLY KNOW ##
## HE'LL MAKE ME HAPPY ##
## THAT'S ALL I NEED ##
## TO KNOW ##
PIGGY, I THOUGHT GONZO WAS GONNA PLAY THE MINISTER.
[ Giggles ]
#### [ Organ ]
## DO YOU, PIGGY TAKE THIS FROG TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND ##
## DO YOU ##
## I DO ##
[ Crying, Blowing Nose ] SHH.
## DO YOU, FROGGY TAKE THIS PIG TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE ##
## UNTIL YOU DIE ##
## OH, I ##
## DO YOU ##
UH-- UH--
## I DO ##
## THEN BECAUSE YOU SHARE A LOVE SO BIG ##
## I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU ##
## FROG AND PIG ##
[ Cheering ]
THEY GOT MARRIED !
## WHAT BETTER WAY COULD ANYTHING END ##
## HAND IN HAND WITH A FRIEND ####
[ Gasps ]
[ Miss Piggy ] ## SAYING GOOD-BYE, GOING AWAY ? ?
## SEEMS LIKE GOOD-BYE'S SUCH A HARD THING TO SAY ##
[ Kermit ] ## TOUCHING A HAND WONDERING WHY ##
[ Together ] ## IT'S TIME FOR SAYING GOOD-BYE ##
[ Scooter ] ## SAYING GOOD-BYE WHY IS IT SAD ##
## MAKES US REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES WE'VE HAD ##
## MUCH MORE TO SAY FOOLISH TO TRY ##
## IT'S TIME FOR SAYING GOOD-BYE ##
[ Gonzo ] ## DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BUT WE BOTH KNOW ##
[ Camilla Clucks ] [ Gonzo ] ## SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO GO ? ?
[ Camilla Clucks ]
[ Rowlf ] ## SOMEHOW I KNOW WE'LL MEET AGAIN ##
## NOT SURE QUITE WHERE AND I DON'T KNOW JUST WHEN ##
[ Floyd ] ## YOU'RE IN MY HEART SO UNTIL THEN ##
[ Muppets ] ## IT'S TIME FOR SAYING ##
## GOOD-BYE ####
[ Muppets ] ## TOGETHER AGAIN ##
## NOW WE'RE HERE AND THERE'S NO NEED REMEMBERING WHEN ##
## 'CAUSE NO FEELING FEELS LIKE THAT FEELING ##
## TOGETHER A-- ##
## TOGETHER ##
## AGAIN ##
## TOGETHER AGAIN ####
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
[ Animal ] BYE-BYE ! BYE-BYE !
BYE-BYE !
HASTA LUEGO.