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It's The Muppet Show, with our very
speciaI guest star Miss Juliet Prowse,

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# It's time to play the music

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# It's time to light the lights

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# It's time to meet the Muppets
on The Muppet Show tonight

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# It's time to put on makeup

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# It's time to dress up right

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# It's time to raise the curtain
on The Muppet Show tonight

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Hey, have I got an opening joke
for you tonight?

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You're... Oh, you're gonna love this,
These two...

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# To introduce our guest star

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# That's what I'm here to do

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# So it really makes me happy

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# To introduce to you

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Miss Juliet Prowse,

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# But now let's get things started on
the most sensationaI, inspirationaI

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# CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI

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# This is what we call

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# The Muppet Show

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Thank you, Thank you,
Hey, listen, it's another great show, folks,

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I mean, tonight our guest star is one
of the truly great dancers of the world,

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the one and only Miss Juliet Prowse,

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And, if that weren't enough,
we've also got "Mahna Mahna,"

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Whatever that means,

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# Be-do be-do do-do-do
be-do be-be-do be-do

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# Do doo be-do-do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do do-do do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Be-do-do, be-do-do
be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do

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# Mahna mahna mahna-ma
nuh-nuh me-nah-ne-nah

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# Nuh-nuh-nuh mah-mah nuh-nuh

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# Uh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh

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# Uh-nuh-nuh

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do do-do do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Be-do-do, be-do-do
be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do

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# Mah nuh-nuh mah nuh-nuh

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# Mah-nuh mah-nuh-nuh
mah-nuh-nuh-nuh

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# Mah-nuh mah-nuh-nana nuh-nuh ne

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Nuh?

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Huh?

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do do-do do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Be-do-do, be-do-do
be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do

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# Nuh-nuh-nuh nuh-nuh
mah nuh-nuh

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# Uh-nuh-nuh-nuh mah-nuh-nuh

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# Nuh-nuh-nuh na nuh-ne-nuh nah nah

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do do-do do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Be-do-do, be-do-do
be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do

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# Mah-nuh-nuh na nuh-nuh

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# Mah-nuh-nuh na nuh-nuh

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# Mah-nah-nah-nah

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do do-do do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Be-do-do, be-do-do
be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do do-do do

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# Mahna mahna
# Do doo be-do-do

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# Be-do-do, be-do-do
be-do-do-doodle do do

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Hello? OK, Just a second,

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It's for you,

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# Mahna mahna

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The question is,
what is a "Mahna Mahna"?

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The question is, who cares?

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Think about this, friends,

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Hey, Boss, Muppy and I
wanted to talk to you

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about the act we're doing
on the show tonight,

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Uh, Scooter, you're not doing
an act on the show tonight,

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Oh, gee, my uncle who owns this theater
thought of this act, didn't he?

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Tell us about the act
you're doing on the show tonight,

76
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Oh, it's called "Simon Smith
and his Amazing Dancing Dog,"

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Yeah, I sing this song, see,

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and Muppy here does this cute,
adorable, sweet, sugary little dance,

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Well, it sounds, says the frog,
displaying his artistic judgment, sappy,

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Gee, my uncle thought it was...
- Uh...

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It sounds, says the frog,
displaying his will to survive, wonderfuI,

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Yeah, it's great, He'll love it,
- Certainly,

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I've often thought of Muppy here
as about the cutest little fellow around,

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He thinks of himself as a killer,

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Let me outta here!

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That dumb dog,
Whoa, I'm onstage, Wow,

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Now that I'm here,
let me take this opportunity

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to present The Muppet Show's
resident artist Gonzo the Great!

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Thank you, Thank you very much,
Thank you,

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Tonight, ladies and gentlemen,

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I will eat this rubber tire to the music of
"The Flight of the Bumblebee,"

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Music, Maestro,

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He's doing it, He's eating a tire,
- Amazing!

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Astounding!
- Boring!

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Looks like it's another wipeout for Gonzo,

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Ah, yokels!

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What do they know about art?

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Hey, Kermit, Muppy wants you
to know he's very sorry he bit you,

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Oh, yeah,
- He wants you to know he's very gratefuI

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you're letting him do
the "Simon Smith" number,

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Oh, well, that's nice,

102
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He wants you to know he wants
his own dressing room and star billing,

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What? Who is this crazy dog?

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He's my uncle's favorite pet,

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Yeuch!

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Hello there, Miss Prowse,
Hey, listen, is everything OK?

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Any complaints?
- No, none whatsoever,

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Except that I've never had
to share my dressing room before

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with a man who eats a tire,

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I told Gonzo to dress in the alley,
Hey, listen, I gotta go introduce you,

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You look beautifuI, BeautifuI!

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He's sweet, For a frog,

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Ladies and gentlemen,
the lovely Miss Juliet Prowse,

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She just vanished,
How did she do that?

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Probably like this,

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Yup, That's probably how she did it,

117
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You're such a smooth dancer,

118
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Ever since we've started I've feeI
like my feet have never touched the floor,

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They haven't,
You've been standing on mine,

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Oops,

121
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Do you prefer Shakespeare to Bacon?

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I prefer anything to bacon,

123
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You mind if I smoke?
- If you insist,

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Thanks,

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Smoke's not bothering you, is it?
- Manager!

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At this time I would like
to present my rendition

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of one of the great songs of our time,

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That ever-popular classic,
"You and I and George,"

129
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"But why," you ask, as well you should,

130
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"have I never heard
this great song of our times?"

131
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Fact is, nobody has ever heard
of this ever-popular classic,

132
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In its only recording,
"You and I and George" sold two copies,

133
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I bought one and George bought one,

134
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Where were you?

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My own mother turns down
her hearing aid when I sing this song,

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# You and I and George

137
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# Went strolling through the park one day

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# And then

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# You held my hand

140
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# As if to say

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# I love you

142
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# Then

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# We passed a brook

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# And George fell in and drowned himself

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# And floated out to sea

146
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# Leaving you

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# Alone

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# With me

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You know, that number you did
was just beautifuI, Juliet,

150
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Well, thank you, Kermit,

151
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You know, I'm really happy to be
here with you and all the Muppets,

152
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You know something?
I've never talked to a frog before,

153
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Well, we're just like anyone else,
A little more jumpy maybe,

154
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But, you know, we have
our hopes and our dreams,

155
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Oh, yeah? Well, what are
some of your dreams?

156
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Well...

157
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You may just think
I'm gilding the lily pad here,

158
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but, as a tadpole,
I always wanted to be a dancer,

159
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Oh,
- But you know what they say:

160
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the first thing to go on a frog
are his legs,

161
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You know, that's what they say,

162
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That's funny, I never knew
that frogs had a sense of humor,

163
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Oh, well, we have to,

164
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Listen, you meet a frog without a sense of
humor and you're looking at a green lump,

165
00:13:31,257 --> 00:13:33,350
Let's just face it, Julie,

166
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Your average frog doesn't have a lot
going for him in the looks department,

167
00:13:36,629 --> 00:13:39,928
Oh, I don't know,
I think you're quite attractive,

168
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Really?
- Mm-hm,

169
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You're not just saying that
because you're a guest?

170
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Well, certainly not,

171
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In fact, I'd go as far as to say
that you are the Robert Redford of frogs,

172
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Oh, Wow,

173
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Hey, listen, everybody,
D'you hear that?

174
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Juliet Prowse thinks
I'm the Robert Redford of frogs,

175
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Hey, you're gonna be coming back
on this show a lot,

176
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Hey, listen, Have you ever
kissed Robert Redford?

177
00:14:02,455 --> 00:14:06,357
No, I haven't,
- Well, how about...

178
00:14:06,425 --> 00:14:08,518
kissing the next best thing?

179
00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:12,553
You mean to tell me
that PauI Newman is here?

180
00:14:12,632 --> 00:14:14,827
I mean me, the Robert Redford of frogdom,

181
00:14:14,901 --> 00:14:18,064
Ah, My pleasure,

182
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:19,126
Whoo!

183
00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:21,503
More! More!

184
00:14:21,574 --> 00:14:24,475
Less! Less!

185
00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:30,280
OK, Stand by for the Western sketch,
- Hey, Kermit, Kermit,

186
00:14:30,349 --> 00:14:33,375
Does this sound
like John Wayne?

187
00:14:33,452 --> 00:14:35,420
Will you get onstage, Fozzie?

188
00:14:35,488 --> 00:14:36,887
Hey, Kermit,
- Huh?

189
00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:39,948
Yeah, now that Muppy is doing
the big "Simon Smith" number,

190
00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:41,584
well, he only has one other suggestion,

191
00:14:41,661 --> 00:14:44,357
Listen, I already gave him his own
dressing room, what more does he want?

192
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:47,661
Well, it's about the title of the show, Look,

193
00:14:49,268 --> 00:14:50,826
The Muppy Show?

194
00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:56,535
Ladies and gentlemen, it's cowboy time,

195
00:14:59,111 --> 00:15:03,411
I'd been playing saloon piano
in Snake City for three years,

196
00:15:03,482 --> 00:15:06,849
It was the roughest town in the West,

197
00:15:06,919 --> 00:15:09,046
I mean, we had some mean customers,

198
00:15:09,121 --> 00:15:13,524
Howdy, Rowlf,
- Uh... Hello, Miss Kitty,

199
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:19,090
I mean, they were tough,
After three years I thought I'd seen it all,

200
00:15:19,165 --> 00:15:24,193
I'd seen the Clanton brothers, the
Younger brothers, the James brothers,

201
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,761
Not to mention the Osmond brothers,

202
00:15:26,839 --> 00:15:32,300
But when Kid Fozzie came to town,
I knew I hadn't seen nothing,

203
00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:38,281
All right, everybody,
Reach for the floor,

204
00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:44,479
Beg pardon?
- Reach for the floor, This is a stickdown,

205
00:15:44,557 --> 00:15:47,549
You're confused, Kid,
You ain't got no guns,

206
00:15:47,627 --> 00:15:51,085
Those are pickles,

207
00:15:51,163 --> 00:15:55,930
That's right, folks, There he is,
the fastest gherkin in the West,

208
00:15:57,236 --> 00:16:01,070
He's got a license
to carry them pickles?

209
00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:07,604
Hey, when you get shot by a pickle
at close range, do you get garlic burns?

210
00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:11,149
All right, you asked for it,

211
00:16:13,953 --> 00:16:18,856
Sorry, Kid, I didn't know the pickles
were loaded, Here's your money,

212
00:16:18,924 --> 00:16:22,519
All right, Kid, don't make a move, I got
you covered, Throw down your pickles,

213
00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:24,790
OK,

214
00:16:24,864 --> 00:16:27,458
I don't need guns to fight you,

215
00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:32,163
I'll get you with my knife,
- Will you stop with the vegetables?

216
00:16:32,238 --> 00:16:35,969
Boy, you shouldn't have done that,
I'm a desperate bear,

217
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:39,500
ready for desperate measures,

218
00:16:39,578 --> 00:16:40,704
Oh, no!

219
00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:43,010
It's an apple!
- And don't tell me...

220
00:16:43,082 --> 00:16:46,950
Yes, The fuse is lit,

221
00:16:48,387 --> 00:16:51,379
The fuse is lit?

222
00:17:05,271 --> 00:17:10,368
And that's how it was the day
Kid Fozzie came into town,

223
00:17:14,046 --> 00:17:18,415
That's one of the reasons
I always thought the Muppets were weird,

224
00:17:18,484 --> 00:17:22,682
Why's that?
- They think explosions are funny,

225
00:17:22,755 --> 00:17:25,690
Yes,
- Explosions aren't funny,

226
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:31,194
Although some of them
are really quite droll,

227
00:17:32,965 --> 00:17:37,698
Juliet, what has one eye,
sharp teeth and is long and fuzzy?

228
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:40,170
I don't know,
- I don't know either, but you're wearing it,

229
00:17:40,239 --> 00:17:41,672
Hiya, toots,

230
00:17:46,078 --> 00:17:49,536
Muppy, Scooter, you're on next,

231
00:17:49,615 --> 00:17:51,412
It's no use, Kermit,
- What?

232
00:17:51,484 --> 00:17:54,783
Muppy says if you won't change
the title of the show, he's not going on,

233
00:17:54,854 --> 00:17:57,721
He's locked himself in
his dressing room and he's not coming out,

234
00:17:57,790 --> 00:17:59,951
Yeah, but the "Simon Smith" number's
on next,

235
00:18:00,025 --> 00:18:01,049
I know, I know,

236
00:18:01,127 --> 00:18:03,618
What are we gonna do?
- Kermit? Kermit? Kermit?

237
00:18:03,696 --> 00:18:06,756
How come I'm not doing an act
this week? Hm?

238
00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:07,821
Uh...

239
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:12,530
Congratulations, Fozzie,
you're doing an act this week,

240
00:18:12,605 --> 00:18:16,097
Sometimes I can be very persuasive,

241
00:18:17,209 --> 00:18:22,044
Ladies and gentlemen, "Simon Smith
and his Amazing Dancing... Bear,"

242
00:18:29,755 --> 00:18:32,121
# I may go out tomorrow

243
00:18:32,191 --> 00:18:35,627
# If I can borrow a coat to wear

244
00:18:35,694 --> 00:18:37,787
# Oh, I'd step out in style

245
00:18:37,863 --> 00:18:40,764
# With my sincere smile
and my dancing bear

246
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:44,166
# Outrageous, alarming

247
00:18:44,236 --> 00:18:46,796
# Courageous, charming

248
00:18:46,872 --> 00:18:49,670
# Oh, who would think a boy and bear

249
00:18:49,742 --> 00:18:52,609
# Could be well-accepted everywhere?

250
00:18:52,678 --> 00:18:56,478
# It's just amazing how fair people can be

251
00:19:02,087 --> 00:19:04,419
# Seen at the nicest places

252
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:07,891
# Where well-fed faces all stop to stare

253
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,485
# Making the grandest entrances

254
00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:12,963
# Simon Smith and his dancing bear

255
00:19:13,032 --> 00:19:16,195
# They'll love us
# Won't they?

256
00:19:16,268 --> 00:19:18,964
# They feed us
# Don't they?

257
00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:21,836
# Oh, who would think a boy and bear

258
00:19:21,907 --> 00:19:24,740
# Could be well-accepted everywhere?

259
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:29,247
# It's just amazing how fair people can be

260
00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:48,630
# Oh, who needs money

261
00:19:48,701 --> 00:19:51,670
# When we're funny?

262
00:19:51,737 --> 00:19:54,103
# The great attraction everywhere

263
00:19:54,173 --> 00:19:57,040
# Will be Simon Smith
and his dancing bear

264
00:19:57,109 --> 00:20:03,412
# It's Simon Smith
and his amazing dancing bear

265
00:20:04,416 --> 00:20:07,510
Together! Yes!

266
00:20:10,122 --> 00:20:12,556
Oh, yes!

267
00:20:17,129 --> 00:20:21,327
Say, Waldorf,
I was wondering if maybe you...

268
00:20:22,301 --> 00:20:25,168
Darn, I'd better get some new batteries
for my hearing aid,

269
00:20:26,572 --> 00:20:29,132
I fooI him every time!

270
00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:36,378
OK, Muppet Glee Club,
Muppet Glee Club onstage, please,

271
00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:38,939
Muppet Glee Club, OK, All right,

272
00:20:39,018 --> 00:20:41,816
Everybody in position, please, OK,

273
00:20:41,887 --> 00:20:43,980
Everybody ready?

274
00:20:44,056 --> 00:20:48,152
The Muppet Glee Club,
One and two and...

275
00:20:50,829 --> 00:20:51,989
Uh, uh...

276
00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:54,692
Wait, wait, wait,
Something is amiss here,

277
00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:59,170
I thought it was lovely,
- You wave that stick wonderfully,

278
00:20:59,238 --> 00:21:02,173
When it comes to stick waving,
Kermit wrote the book,

279
00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:05,074
Well, thank you, thank you,
I do appreciate that kind comment,

280
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:08,773
but I would like to point out to all
assembled here that this is a glee club,

281
00:21:08,847 --> 00:21:11,315
Oh, yes, that is what our letterhead says,

282
00:21:11,383 --> 00:21:15,217
Yeah, So when I wave this stick so
wonderfully, I would like to hear something,

283
00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:16,379
Oh!

284
00:21:16,455 --> 00:21:18,719
We were remiss in that regard,

285
00:21:18,791 --> 00:21:22,386
OK, Here we go, One more time,
The Muppet Glee Club,

286
00:21:22,461 --> 00:21:24,622
One and two and...

287
00:21:30,769 --> 00:21:32,202
Wait, wait, wait,
Hold, hold, hold...

288
00:21:32,271 --> 00:21:35,138
Hold it, Hold it, Hold it, Hold it,
Hold it, Stop,

289
00:21:35,207 --> 00:21:39,303
How shall I say this? Excuse me, friends,
but to my ears at least,

290
00:21:39,378 --> 00:21:41,812
it would help a lot if you were all singing...

291
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,973
the same song!
- Oh, I love it!

292
00:21:44,049 --> 00:21:47,177
So wild!
- The frog is a genius,

293
00:21:47,252 --> 00:21:48,844
AwfuI cute too,

294
00:21:48,921 --> 00:21:50,650
It really doesn't matter what song you sing,

295
00:21:50,723 --> 00:21:53,351
as long as we all agree
to the song that we're going to sing,

296
00:21:53,425 --> 00:21:54,653
OK,
- OK?

297
00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:56,627
Now, does anybody here
have a favorite song?

298
00:21:56,695 --> 00:21:59,323
Yes!

299
00:21:59,398 --> 00:22:02,959
W-what song is that?
- "Temptation"!

300
00:22:03,969 --> 00:22:06,836
Since there seems to be
some consensus of opinion here,

301
00:22:06,905 --> 00:22:11,842
the Muppet Glee Club will now render
"Temptation,"

302
00:22:11,910 --> 00:22:13,309
Piggy, honey?
- Hm?

303
00:22:13,379 --> 00:22:15,847
You can take the solo,
- Yes, my love,

304
00:22:15,914 --> 00:22:18,747
OK, Here we go,
- I love him,

305
00:22:18,817 --> 00:22:20,978
The Muppet Glee Club, "Temptation,"

306
00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:23,180
One and two and...

307
00:22:23,255 --> 00:22:26,986
# Dum da-da da, dum da-da da
dum da-da da, dum dum

308
00:22:27,059 --> 00:22:30,790
# Dum da-da da, dum da-da da
dum da-da da, dum dum dum

309
00:22:30,863 --> 00:22:33,388
# You came
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

310
00:22:33,465 --> 00:22:37,162
# I was alone
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

311
00:22:37,236 --> 00:22:40,069
# I should have known
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

312
00:22:40,139 --> 00:22:45,076
# You were temptation
# Dum dum dum da-da da dum

313
00:22:45,944 --> 00:22:48,674
# You smiled
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

314
00:22:48,747 --> 00:22:52,581
# Luring me on
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

315
00:22:52,651 --> 00:22:55,518
# My heart was gone
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

316
00:22:55,587 --> 00:23:00,581
# You were temptation
# Dum dum dum da-da da dum

317
00:23:00,659 --> 00:23:04,322
# It would be thrilling

318
00:23:04,396 --> 00:23:08,127
# If you were willing

319
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,830
# If it can never be

320
00:23:12,905 --> 00:23:16,272
# Pity me

321
00:23:16,341 --> 00:23:19,504
# For you were
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

322
00:23:19,578 --> 00:23:23,378
# Born to be kissed
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

323
00:23:23,449 --> 00:23:26,043
# I can't resist
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

324
00:23:26,118 --> 00:23:29,645
# You are temptation
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

325
00:23:29,722 --> 00:23:34,682
# And I am yours
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

326
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,560
# Here is my heart
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

327
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:41,531
# Take it and say
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

328
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,627
# We'll never part
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

329
00:23:45,704 --> 00:23:49,196
# I'm just a slave
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

330
00:23:49,274 --> 00:23:54,177
# Only a slave
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

331
00:23:54,246 --> 00:23:58,012
# To you
# Da-da da dum da-da da dum

332
00:23:58,083 --> 00:24:03,020
# Temptation

333
00:24:09,995 --> 00:24:11,963
Hey, Juliet, I want to tell you
what a pleasure it was

334
00:24:12,030 --> 00:24:13,429
to have you with us on the show,

335
00:24:13,499 --> 00:24:15,990
Oh, Kermit, I really enjoyed it,

336
00:24:16,068 --> 00:24:20,664
And as a little token of our appreciation, we
have a Muppet likeness of you right here,

337
00:24:20,739 --> 00:24:24,539
Oh, how sweet,
- I know you'd rather have the cash, but...

338
00:24:24,610 --> 00:24:28,102
No, no, no, Kermit, This is just wonderfuI,

339
00:24:28,180 --> 00:24:31,479
Can I come home with you?
- Well, of course you can,

340
00:24:31,550 --> 00:24:33,916
She's not as pretty as you, you know, but...

341
00:24:33,986 --> 00:24:36,887
Oh, Kermit, thank you,

342
00:24:36,955 --> 00:24:39,947
Ooh, Thank you,
And thank you all for joining us,

343
00:24:40,025 --> 00:24:42,994
We'll see you all next time
on The Muppet Show.

344
00:25:21,033 --> 00:25:25,367
Well, what did you think?
- Beats sitting home watching television,

345
00:25:25,437 --> 00:25:27,928
# Mahna mahna