1 00:00:11,058 --> 00:00:16,052 It's The Muppet Show with our speciaI guest star, Miss Ruth Buzzi, 2 00:00:24,338 --> 00:00:26,306 # It's time to play the music 3 00:00:26,373 --> 00:00:28,398 # It's time to light the lights 4 00:00:28,475 --> 00:00:32,104 # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight 5 00:00:32,679 --> 00:00:34,579 # It's time to put on makeup 6 00:00:34,648 --> 00:00:36,707 # It's time to dress up right 7 00:00:36,783 --> 00:00:40,617 # It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight 8 00:00:42,622 --> 00:00:45,352 I finally found a sure way to lose weight, 9 00:00:45,425 --> 00:00:48,451 I bought a scale that lies, 10 00:00:52,265 --> 00:00:54,256 # To introduce our guest star 11 00:00:54,334 --> 00:00:56,063 # That's what it's time to do 12 00:00:56,136 --> 00:00:58,536 # So it really makes me happy 13 00:00:58,605 --> 00:01:00,266 # To introduce to you 14 00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:02,672 Miss Ruth Buzzi, 15 00:01:08,315 --> 00:01:12,149 # But now let's get things started on the most sensationaI, inspirationaI 16 00:01:12,219 --> 00:01:14,278 # CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI 17 00:01:14,354 --> 00:01:16,914 # This is what we call 18 00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:21,017 # The Muppet Show 19 00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:30,535 Hi, gang, and welcome to the show, Hey, I feeI good tonight for two reasons, 20 00:01:30,604 --> 00:01:33,402 One, Scooter's uncle has extended the lease on our theater 21 00:01:33,473 --> 00:01:35,236 which gives us a roof over our head, 22 00:01:35,308 --> 00:01:38,277 And two, our speciaI guest star is Miss Ruth Buzzi, 23 00:01:38,345 --> 00:01:40,245 which is enough to make anyone feeI good, 24 00:01:40,313 --> 00:01:44,579 But right now, let's get the show under way with some musicaI mayhem, Hit it, boys, 25 00:01:48,989 --> 00:01:52,425 # Sunny 26 00:01:52,492 --> 00:01:57,520 # Yesterday my life was filled with rain 27 00:01:57,597 --> 00:01:59,963 Too slow! - # Sunny 28 00:02:01,768 --> 00:02:07,104 # You smiled at me and really eased the pain 29 00:02:07,174 --> 00:02:10,871 # Dark days are done Bright days are here 30 00:02:10,944 --> 00:02:14,539 # My sunny one shines so sincere 31 00:02:14,614 --> 00:02:17,845 # Oh, sunny one so true 32 00:02:17,918 --> 00:02:20,284 - # I love you - Faster! 33 00:02:22,322 --> 00:02:24,381 - # Sunny - All right! 34 00:02:24,891 --> 00:02:28,918 # Thank you for the sunshine bouquet 35 00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:30,860 # Sunny 36 00:02:31,364 --> 00:02:35,323 # Thank you for the love you brought my way 37 00:02:35,402 --> 00:02:38,963 # You gave to me your all in all 38 00:02:39,039 --> 00:02:41,701 # Now I feeI I'm ten feet tall 39 00:02:41,775 --> 00:02:45,677 # Oh, sunny one so true, I love you 40 00:02:45,745 --> 00:02:48,179 Faster! 41 00:02:48,248 --> 00:02:50,307 - # Sunny - Sunny! 42 00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,374 # Thank you for the truth you let me see 43 00:02:52,452 --> 00:02:55,546 What's goin' on? Sunny... What's happening? 44 00:02:55,622 --> 00:02:58,489 # Thank you for the facts from A to Z 45 00:02:58,558 --> 00:03:00,788 # My life was torn like windblown sand 46 00:03:00,861 --> 00:03:03,261 # And a rock was formed when we held hands 47 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:07,460 - # Oh, sunny one so true, I love you - Yeah! 48 00:03:07,534 --> 00:03:10,264 What's happening? Sunny... Wait-wait a minute, 49 00:03:10,337 --> 00:03:12,532 # Thank you for the smile upon your face 50 00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:14,597 # Oh, Sunny 51 00:03:16,476 --> 00:03:19,172 # You're my spark of nature's fire You're my complete desire 52 00:03:19,246 --> 00:03:21,737 - # Oh, sunny one so true, I love you - Yeah! 53 00:03:21,815 --> 00:03:23,806 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 54 00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:35,057 Too fast, Too fast, - Nice, nice, Nice job, Nice job, 55 00:03:35,128 --> 00:03:38,529 Tell him to lighten up, man, - Yeah, I will, OK, 56 00:03:38,598 --> 00:03:40,759 Take it easy, AnimaI, 57 00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:44,292 Hi, Kermit, Hey, Kermit, - Scooter, Scooter, 58 00:03:44,371 --> 00:03:46,464 Scooter, what is this? - Oh, that's a crate, 59 00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:49,304 I can see it's a crate, but who's responsible for it? 60 00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:51,173 Oh, I am, - Scooter! 61 00:03:51,244 --> 00:03:54,372 What makes you think you can bring a crate into the backstage? 62 00:03:54,447 --> 00:03:57,610 My uncle owns the theater, - And a nice crate it is too, 63 00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,345 May I ask you what is in it? 64 00:03:59,419 --> 00:04:01,580 Sure, go ahead, - What is in it? 65 00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:04,647 Well, it's a mechanicaI windup TV show host, 66 00:04:04,724 --> 00:04:07,318 A mechanicaI windup TV show host? - Right, 67 00:04:07,394 --> 00:04:13,196 Scooter, that is the dumbest, the craziest, most ridiculous idea you have ever... Agh! 68 00:04:13,266 --> 00:04:15,359 Good grief, 69 00:04:15,435 --> 00:04:18,336 Scooter, you're out of your mind! - Mm-hm, 70 00:04:18,405 --> 00:04:22,034 Be carefuI, frog, His uncle owns the theater, 71 00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:24,833 Wait a minute, Oh! 72 00:04:26,913 --> 00:04:28,710 Ha-ha! 73 00:04:42,262 --> 00:04:45,857 I wish they'd had rock-'n'-roll in the '40s, - Why? 74 00:04:45,932 --> 00:04:48,423 We'd be dead by now, 75 00:04:49,302 --> 00:04:53,830 Don't you see? You've got to be strong, You've got to stand on your own two feet, 76 00:04:53,907 --> 00:04:56,068 But that's the problem, - What? 77 00:04:56,142 --> 00:04:58,406 I've got three feet, 78 00:05:01,348 --> 00:05:06,217 Oh, my dear, You are so lovely, Have I ever seen you in the movies? 79 00:05:06,286 --> 00:05:09,778 Well, I don't think so, I hardly ever go, 80 00:05:11,791 --> 00:05:14,453 Don't you feeI stupid with three feet? 81 00:05:14,527 --> 00:05:18,896 Sure, but the other one didn't come back from the cleaners, 82 00:05:24,471 --> 00:05:27,668 You know, I have a bone to pick with you, 83 00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:30,232 Too late, I just buried it, 84 00:05:31,544 --> 00:05:34,513 Do you really have three feet? 85 00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:37,550 Sure, One, two, three, 86 00:05:37,617 --> 00:05:39,244 Agh! 87 00:05:39,319 --> 00:05:41,981 Three feet and one broken back, 88 00:05:44,024 --> 00:05:46,993 Well, I think I'll go stretch my legs, 89 00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:49,654 I'll do it for you, 90 00:05:49,729 --> 00:05:51,720 Agh! Agh! Agh! 91 00:05:52,632 --> 00:05:54,122 Agh! Agh! 92 00:05:55,935 --> 00:06:00,235 Well, time soon for the handsome frog here to make another one of his introductions, 93 00:06:00,306 --> 00:06:04,675 I will check myself and see how I look in the mirror, 94 00:06:26,499 --> 00:06:30,094 Scooter, where did you get this ridiculous windup TV-show host? 95 00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:34,436 I was a gift from his uncle, - Welcome to the show, 96 00:06:39,179 --> 00:06:42,239 With a few exceptions, the characters on this program 97 00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:46,012 are weird and peculiar, and not to be trusted, 98 00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:49,214 One of those exceptions, aside from myself, of course, 99 00:06:49,289 --> 00:06:54,556 is the wonderful singing team of Wayne and Wanda, 100 00:06:54,627 --> 00:06:58,028 They've really rehearsed this one, so they're sure to get it right, 101 00:06:58,098 --> 00:07:02,558 Here they are, Wayne and Wanda, with "Row, Row, Row," 102 00:07:07,373 --> 00:07:11,867 # Young Johnnie Jones he had a cute little boat 103 00:07:11,945 --> 00:07:16,177 # And all the girlies I would take for a float 104 00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:21,016 # He had girlies on the shore 105 00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:25,581 # Sweet little peaches by the score 106 00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:30,061 # But Johnnie was a wisenheimer you know 107 00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:34,590 # A steady girI was Flo 108 00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:38,296 # And every Sunday afternoon 109 00:07:38,371 --> 00:07:42,865 # She'd jump in his boat and they would spoon 110 00:07:42,942 --> 00:07:48,005 # And then he'd row, row, row 111 00:07:52,051 --> 00:07:55,020 A Muppet news flash, 112 00:07:55,088 --> 00:07:59,047 The Atlantic Ocean has just been kidnapped, Disappearance of the ocean 113 00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:02,288 was first reported by lighthouse keeper Morrie Patterson, 114 00:08:02,362 --> 00:08:07,664 He was awakened late last night when 500 fish pounded on his door asking for water, 115 00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:10,328 Authorities suspect that the ocean is being held prisoner 116 00:08:10,403 --> 00:08:12,997 in an apartment somewhere in Newark, 117 00:08:13,072 --> 00:08:15,666 A ransom note has reportedly been received, 118 00:08:15,742 --> 00:08:18,472 The kidnappers are demanding two Christmases each year 119 00:08:18,545 --> 00:08:21,343 and a hug from Mommy every night, 120 00:08:24,384 --> 00:08:28,821 Ladies and gentlemen, A lady you loved on Laugh-In and hundreds of other shows, 121 00:08:28,888 --> 00:08:33,518 A comedienne, an actress, a singer, a dancer, and a lot of fun at parties, 122 00:08:33,593 --> 00:08:36,187 Our guest star, Miss Ruth Buzzi, 123 00:08:54,347 --> 00:08:59,375 # You're just too good to be true 124 00:08:59,452 --> 00:09:04,048 # Can't take my eyes off of you 125 00:09:04,123 --> 00:09:07,388 # You'd be like heaven to touch 126 00:09:08,361 --> 00:09:12,229 # I want to hold you so much 127 00:09:13,533 --> 00:09:17,435 # At last love has arrived 128 00:09:17,503 --> 00:09:21,803 # Then I thank God I'm alive 129 00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:26,107 # You're just too good to be true 130 00:09:26,179 --> 00:09:30,673 # Can't take my eyes off you 131 00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:39,822 # Pardon the way that I stare 132 00:09:39,893 --> 00:09:44,353 # There's nothing else to compare 133 00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:48,161 # The sight of you leaves me weak 134 00:09:48,668 --> 00:09:52,536 # There are no words left to speak 135 00:09:53,406 --> 00:09:57,866 # But if you feeI like I feeI 136 00:09:57,944 --> 00:10:01,846 # Please let me know that it's reaI 137 00:10:01,915 --> 00:10:06,375 # You're just too good to be true 138 00:10:06,452 --> 00:10:10,946 # Can't take my eyes off of you 139 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:33,543 # I love you, baby 140 00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:35,706 # And if it's quite all right 141 00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:37,909 # I need you, baby 142 00:10:37,984 --> 00:10:40,248 # To warm the lonely night 143 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,914 # I love you, baby 144 00:10:42,989 --> 00:10:46,584 # Trust in me when I say 145 00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:50,953 # Oh, pretty baby 146 00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:53,089 # Don't bring me down, I pray 147 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,327 # Oh, pretty baby 148 00:10:55,401 --> 00:10:57,494 # Now that I've found you, stay 149 00:10:57,570 --> 00:11:01,734 # And let me love you, baby 150 00:11:01,808 --> 00:11:04,743 # Let me love you 151 00:11:05,812 --> 00:11:10,010 # Let me love you, baby 152 00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:13,075 # Let me love you 153 00:11:14,687 --> 00:11:20,023 # Let me love you 154 00:11:26,065 --> 00:11:28,898 That's my kind of woman, 155 00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:50,579 You may not know this, but I'm really a very sentimentaI dog, 156 00:11:50,656 --> 00:11:52,681 I cry easily, 157 00:11:52,759 --> 00:11:56,286 Onions, for instance, always make me cry, 158 00:11:58,197 --> 00:12:01,963 # I'll admit I split bananas 159 00:12:02,035 --> 00:12:06,267 # Take Easter eggs and make them dye 160 00:12:06,339 --> 00:12:10,036 # But I never harmed an onion 161 00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:14,705 # So why should they make me cry? 162 00:12:14,781 --> 00:12:18,717 # Once I saw a salad dressing 163 00:12:18,785 --> 00:12:22,949 # My face got radish - my, oh, my 164 00:12:23,022 --> 00:12:26,822 # But I never harmed an onion 165 00:12:26,893 --> 00:12:31,353 # So why should they make me cry? 166 00:12:31,431 --> 00:12:35,629 # Potatoes I've mashed and berries I've crushed 167 00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:39,797 # I've made an artichoke and that's not all 168 00:12:39,872 --> 00:12:44,206 # I've also whipped cream and beaten an egg 169 00:12:44,277 --> 00:12:48,338 # Yes, I've even made a melon ball 170 00:12:48,414 --> 00:12:51,872 # Of all the things above I'm guilty 171 00:12:51,951 --> 00:12:56,115 # If punished, I would know just why 172 00:12:56,189 --> 00:13:00,125 # But I never harmed an onion 173 00:13:00,193 --> 00:13:04,323 # So why should they make me cry? 174 00:13:04,397 --> 00:13:11,064 # Oh, why should they make me cry? 175 00:13:23,015 --> 00:13:26,712 Well, Ruth, I thought we'd just sit here and chew the fat for a while, 176 00:13:26,786 --> 00:13:30,119 Oh, Kermit, I never chew the fat, 177 00:13:30,189 --> 00:13:33,124 Yeah, well... - No, no, Fat is not good for you, 178 00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:37,925 Fat is a no-no, In fact, every time I see fat, I go blah! 179 00:13:37,997 --> 00:13:41,057 Yeah, well, I... - You are looking at a body, Kermit, 180 00:13:41,134 --> 00:13:44,331 that has not one ounce of fat on it, 181 00:13:44,403 --> 00:13:46,894 Well, yeah... - This is lean, Lean, 182 00:13:46,973 --> 00:13:50,204 El leano, Kermit, my froggy friend, 183 00:13:50,276 --> 00:13:52,506 Yeah, yeah, I can see all that, Yeah... 184 00:13:52,578 --> 00:13:57,481 Kermit, I had a friend once who chewed so much fat that she was as big as a house 185 00:13:57,550 --> 00:14:01,611 and she decided to rent herself out as a duplex, 186 00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:08,451 You get it, Kermit? A duplex, - Yeah, Yeah, 187 00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:13,121 A little joke, 188 00:14:18,971 --> 00:14:22,304 I seem to be losing controI here, 189 00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:25,344 Ruth, Ruth, what I meant, when I said all that back there, 190 00:14:25,411 --> 00:14:28,175 what I meant was let's talk a bit, Let's just talk a bit, 191 00:14:28,247 --> 00:14:30,875 I love to talk, Kermit, OK, what'll we talk about? 192 00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:34,579 Well, we all know that you hate fat, but what do you love? 193 00:14:34,654 --> 00:14:36,645 Oh, well, I love to eat, 194 00:14:36,722 --> 00:14:39,782 But you just said... - I eat health foods, 195 00:14:39,859 --> 00:14:42,555 organic foods, dairy products... 196 00:14:42,628 --> 00:14:46,587 Dairy products, That's a no-no, Dairy products killed my uncle, 197 00:14:46,666 --> 00:14:51,126 Oh, that's awfuI, - Yep, he was hit by a dairy truck, 198 00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:55,198 That's terrible, - His last words were: 199 00:14:55,274 --> 00:14:58,300 "Take the cheese off my chest," 200 00:14:58,377 --> 00:15:00,436 Oh, that's awfuI, Kermit, 201 00:15:00,513 --> 00:15:03,073 Yeah, well, don't blame me, I didn't write that, 202 00:15:03,149 --> 00:15:05,140 Oh, it's a joke, - Yeah, it was just a joke, 203 00:15:05,218 --> 00:15:07,345 That's up to the laugh track, 204 00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:10,617 But speaking of laughs, Ruth, you know, you really tickle me, 205 00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:13,181 Well, that's how I make everyone laugh, - How's that? 206 00:15:13,259 --> 00:15:15,420 I tickle them, 207 00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:25,960 WonderfuI, - Marvelous, 208 00:15:26,038 --> 00:15:27,699 That you should care for me, 209 00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:29,365 Huh? - Huh? 210 00:15:30,610 --> 00:15:33,272 Ladies and gentlemen, now the act you've been waiting for, 211 00:15:33,346 --> 00:15:37,783 The man with the fur and the funnies, our own Fozzie Bear, 212 00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:43,885 Thank you, thank you, thank you, 213 00:15:43,956 --> 00:15:49,053 Love you all, Yeah, Oh, it's gonna be a great night tonight, 214 00:15:49,128 --> 00:15:52,097 Yeah, Somewhere, but not here, 215 00:15:52,164 --> 00:15:54,826 You folks are in for a reaI treat, 216 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,801 You mean you're finished? 217 00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:59,963 Hey, come on, Come on, you guys, 218 00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:02,473 Hey, a lot of these folks wanna see me, 219 00:16:02,541 --> 00:16:06,102 Well, so do we, - You wanna see me perform? 220 00:16:06,178 --> 00:16:08,169 No, Retire, 221 00:16:09,181 --> 00:16:11,775 Hey, look, If you don't like me, why do you come here? 222 00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:14,319 Because you're one of the top comics in the business, 223 00:16:14,387 --> 00:16:17,754 In the world, - In the business world, 224 00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:21,192 Look, who's doing this show? You or me? 225 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:23,728 Well, we're getting all the laughs, 226 00:16:23,796 --> 00:16:25,787 This is my act, 227 00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:29,301 And you're the greatest straight man in the business, You've never been funnier, 228 00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:32,428 Never, - Really? 229 00:16:32,505 --> 00:16:37,033 Oh, thank you, You're a wonderfuI audience, Kisses, Kisses, 230 00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:38,906 Yeah, 231 00:16:39,412 --> 00:16:42,313 What did we just do? - His act, 232 00:16:42,381 --> 00:16:45,179 Well, we've never been funnier, 233 00:16:56,195 --> 00:16:59,164 All right, Now, give us the information, 234 00:16:59,231 --> 00:17:01,995 or we have ways of making you talk, 235 00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:05,936 Yes, sir, I'm Wac Lieutenant Jane B, Smithers, 236 00:17:06,005 --> 00:17:09,998 First Battalion, Fifth Army, Based on the far side of the river, 237 00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:12,408 We have over 1 5,000 troops, 238 00:17:12,478 --> 00:17:16,346 heavily armed with 40 tanks and three fighter planes, 239 00:17:16,415 --> 00:17:20,476 Good, Thank you very much, That's the information we needed, Thank you, 240 00:17:20,553 --> 00:17:23,044 You're very welcome, Now, listen, 241 00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:26,489 We have enough food and ammunition for three weeks, 242 00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:29,289 The commanding officer's name is Frank Irving, 243 00:17:29,362 --> 00:17:31,728 He's a gunnery expert and a former account exec 244 00:17:31,797 --> 00:17:34,698 with an ad agency in Philadelphia, 245 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:36,826 Well, yes, fine, That should do it, Thank you, 246 00:17:36,902 --> 00:17:39,336 He's 43 years old and has two children, 247 00:17:39,405 --> 00:17:42,272 And he drives a '63 Dodge station wagon, 248 00:17:42,341 --> 00:17:45,071 And the pilot flying plane number one is Mike Kelly, 249 00:17:45,144 --> 00:17:48,307 Oh, yes, He's a graduate of West Point and he wears a toupee, 250 00:17:48,381 --> 00:17:52,977 That's enough! Enough already, - He got three Bs and an A in his finaI year, 251 00:17:53,052 --> 00:17:55,612 And he went with a generaI's daughter named Maggie, 252 00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:58,623 I don't care, - Oh, she had a mole on her left shoulder, 253 00:17:58,691 --> 00:18:01,854 I'm warning you, We have ways of making you stop talking, 254 00:18:01,927 --> 00:18:05,158 Listen, The other pilot is an expert in decoding 255 00:18:05,231 --> 00:18:09,497 and he is a crack gin rummy player, I mean, he is really terrific, 256 00:18:09,568 --> 00:18:12,594 Please don't do any more, Stop, Don't talk, 257 00:18:12,671 --> 00:18:14,901 Please don't talk, Stop it, please, 258 00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:25,309 Oh, light of my life, frog in my arms, 259 00:18:25,384 --> 00:18:27,784 At last we are alone, 260 00:18:27,853 --> 00:18:32,347 At last you are alone, Piggy, I'm about to go on stage in front of a thousand people, 261 00:18:32,425 --> 00:18:34,518 But... 262 00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:40,259 Oh, wretched day for a pig in her prime to be thus scorned, 263 00:18:41,934 --> 00:18:43,094 Oh, 264 00:18:43,169 --> 00:18:47,697 How I long to hear my love whisper sweet passion, 265 00:18:48,674 --> 00:18:51,905 Hiya, good-looking, Where you been all my life? 266 00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,638 Kermit? 267 00:18:53,712 --> 00:18:55,873 How...? But... 268 00:18:58,184 --> 00:19:00,618 Hey, listen, you, Hey, you, 269 00:19:00,686 --> 00:19:03,621 How about you and me getting together and making some steam heat, 270 00:19:03,689 --> 00:19:05,213 huh, snuggle bunny? 271 00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:07,725 Snuggle bunny? But... 272 00:19:07,793 --> 00:19:10,921 Yeah, look, look, look, Let me take you away from all this, 273 00:19:10,996 --> 00:19:14,022 A marriage made in heaven, A frog and a pig, 274 00:19:14,099 --> 00:19:17,034 We could have bouncing baby figs, 275 00:19:17,102 --> 00:19:20,299 Baby figs? - Sure, let me whisper... 276 00:19:20,372 --> 00:19:23,364 Let me whisper sweet nothings in your ear, 277 00:19:23,442 --> 00:19:25,535 Sweet nothings, 278 00:19:25,611 --> 00:19:28,239 Oh, Oh, 279 00:19:28,314 --> 00:19:30,805 Huh? 280 00:19:30,883 --> 00:19:33,215 Ugh! Ugh! 281 00:19:33,285 --> 00:19:35,219 Yuk! 282 00:19:35,287 --> 00:19:37,983 How dare you say that to a pig! 283 00:19:39,358 --> 00:19:42,225 Piggy, Piggy, let me explain, - Oh? 284 00:19:42,294 --> 00:19:43,955 Explain this, 285 00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:45,792 Hii-yah! Hiii! 286 00:19:45,965 --> 00:19:47,956 Hiii! Hiii! 287 00:19:49,668 --> 00:19:54,605 Listen, I think you may have dented him, - I don't c... 288 00:19:54,673 --> 00:19:57,107 Ahh... 289 00:19:57,176 --> 00:19:59,736 Oh, well, The frog broke her fall, 290 00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:15,817 I hear your son the hoteI has become interested in religion, 291 00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:18,295 Oh, interested isn't the word, 292 00:20:18,364 --> 00:20:23,028 He's seriously thinking about becoming a monastery, 293 00:20:26,772 --> 00:20:29,866 Kermit has asked me to introduce this week's closing number, 294 00:20:29,942 --> 00:20:32,137 So it is with great pleasure... 295 00:20:32,211 --> 00:20:34,543 Excuse me, Don't pay any mind to me, Miss Buzzi, 296 00:20:34,613 --> 00:20:37,480 I merely stand by, checking the content of this program 297 00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:40,610 to make sure it is morally above reproach, 298 00:20:40,686 --> 00:20:42,017 OK, 299 00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:47,787 It is with great pleasure that I present the Gogolala Jubilee Jug-Band, 300 00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:50,886 That does not sound culturally uplifting, 301 00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,593 # Well, you can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd 302 00:20:56,669 --> 00:20:58,796 # You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd 303 00:20:58,871 --> 00:21:01,704 # No, you can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd 304 00:21:01,774 --> 00:21:04,368 # But you can be happy if you've a mind to 305 00:21:04,443 --> 00:21:06,570 # All you gotta do is put your mind to it 306 00:21:06,645 --> 00:21:09,205 # Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it 307 00:21:09,281 --> 00:21:11,272 # You can't go swimmin' in a baseball pooI 308 00:21:11,517 --> 00:21:13,508 # You can't go swimmin' in a baseball pooI 309 00:21:13,586 --> 00:21:16,248 # No, you can't go swimmin' in a baseball pooI 310 00:21:16,322 --> 00:21:19,189 # But you can be happy if you've a mind to 311 00:21:31,236 --> 00:21:33,261 # You can't change film with a kid on your back 312 00:21:33,505 --> 00:21:35,700 # You can't change film with a kid on your back 313 00:21:35,774 --> 00:21:38,299 # No, you can't change film with a kid on your back 314 00:21:38,377 --> 00:21:41,107 # But you can be happy if you've a mind to 315 00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:43,171 # All you gotta do is put your mind to it 316 00:21:43,248 --> 00:21:45,739 # Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it 317 00:21:45,818 --> 00:21:47,809 # You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd 318 00:21:48,053 --> 00:21:50,248 # You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd 319 00:21:50,322 --> 00:21:52,950 # No, you can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd 320 00:21:53,025 --> 00:21:56,722 # But you can be happy if this is the end of the song 321 00:22:03,002 --> 00:22:05,527 Pass me that jug over here, 322 00:22:11,677 --> 00:22:15,511 Time once again to raise the intellectuaI leveI of our program, 323 00:22:15,581 --> 00:22:18,243 It's about time too, - Just hold it down there, Sam, 324 00:22:18,317 --> 00:22:20,217 Tonight, our distinguished paneI of experts 325 00:22:20,285 --> 00:22:22,879 includes our speciaI guest, Miss Gloria Goodbody, 326 00:22:22,955 --> 00:22:25,389 Thank you, - You're more than welcome, 327 00:22:25,457 --> 00:22:30,156 And tonight we discuss that controversiaI topic, "Is the human body obsolete?" 328 00:22:30,229 --> 00:22:34,427 I presume the question under discussion is something to do with the importance, 329 00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:39,733 or lack thereof, of the physiologicaI prowess, in this age of growing technology 330 00:22:39,805 --> 00:22:43,764 and ever-escalating cybernetic engineering, 331 00:22:43,842 --> 00:22:47,710 That was wonderfuI, 332 00:22:47,780 --> 00:22:50,044 I didn't understand it, 333 00:22:50,115 --> 00:22:53,448 Now, actually, actually, everyone, I was saying 334 00:22:53,519 --> 00:22:56,784 that I think we're supposed to be talking about physicaI fitness, 335 00:22:56,855 --> 00:22:58,982 Oh, physicaI fitness, - Yes, physicaI fitness, 336 00:22:59,058 --> 00:23:02,425 Well, I'm fit, - Let's get physicaI, 337 00:23:03,262 --> 00:23:05,560 I'm a nut on physicaI fitness, - Really? 338 00:23:05,631 --> 00:23:08,532 In fact, I've tried every exercise program that there is, 339 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,296 Right now, I'm into yoga, - Yoga? 340 00:23:11,370 --> 00:23:14,305 Yes, yoga, - Isn't that that weird sour milk stuff? 341 00:23:14,373 --> 00:23:18,707 Oh, no, That's yogurt, This is yoga, 342 00:23:18,777 --> 00:23:21,109 What are you doing? 343 00:23:22,514 --> 00:23:24,982 Doesn't that hurt? 344 00:23:25,050 --> 00:23:27,814 Well, that's about all the time we have, 345 00:23:27,886 --> 00:23:30,218 What's going on? 346 00:23:31,090 --> 00:23:33,422 Are you all right, Miss Goodbody? 347 00:23:33,492 --> 00:23:36,620 Where are you going? There's supposed to be a discussion here, 348 00:23:36,695 --> 00:23:40,927 Oh, listen, Listen, That's nothing, Watch this, This is physicaI fitness, 349 00:23:40,999 --> 00:23:45,732 Wing-ups, One, two, three, four, One, two, three, four, 350 00:23:45,804 --> 00:23:48,500 You wanna elucidate? - Would I? 351 00:23:48,574 --> 00:23:52,635 The paneI appear to be too busy to continue the discussion, 352 00:23:52,711 --> 00:23:58,707 but tune in next week, where our topic will be crowd controI and riot suppression, 353 00:24:00,486 --> 00:24:03,353 Bravo, Bravo, - WonderfuI, 354 00:24:03,789 --> 00:24:06,383 Well, that's all for tonight, Thank you all for watching, 355 00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:09,757 and speciaI thanks to our wonderfuI guest star, Miss Buth Ruzzi, 356 00:24:09,828 --> 00:24:12,820 Buth Ruzzi, Buth Ruzzi, Buth Ruzzi, 357 00:24:12,898 --> 00:24:18,393 Look at that, I knew this wicked contraption would break down eventually, 358 00:24:18,470 --> 00:24:22,600 A mere machine could never replace a reaI frog, 359 00:24:22,674 --> 00:24:24,904 You're a nice person, Ruth, - Thank you, 360 00:24:24,977 --> 00:24:27,673 And I hope we've tickled you as much as you've tickled us on the show, 361 00:24:27,746 --> 00:24:29,236 You have, Kermit, - Right, guys? Huh? 362 00:24:29,314 --> 00:24:31,976 Tickle, tickle, - Oh, don't! 363 00:24:33,152 --> 00:24:36,019 Hey, join us next week on The Muppet Show. 364 00:25:14,026 --> 00:25:18,429 Well, did you like the show? - No, I didn't, No, I didn't, No, I didn't,