1 00:00:11,291 --> 00:00:16,319 It's The Muppet Show with our speciaI guest star, Miss Rita Moreno, 2 00:00:24,638 --> 00:00:26,663 # It's time to play the music 3 00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:28,708 # It's time to light the lights 4 00:00:28,775 --> 00:00:32,370 # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight 5 00:00:32,979 --> 00:00:34,879 # It's time to put on makeup 6 00:00:34,948 --> 00:00:37,007 # It's time to dress up right 7 00:00:37,084 --> 00:00:40,952 # It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight 8 00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:46,121 My cousin's so dumb, he spent two weeks in London 9 00:00:46,193 --> 00:00:49,219 trying to find the European Common Market, 10 00:00:52,599 --> 00:00:54,590 # To introduce our guest star 11 00:00:54,668 --> 00:00:56,397 # That's what I'm here to do 12 00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:58,768 # So it really makes me happy 13 00:00:58,839 --> 00:01:01,069 # To introduce to you 14 00:01:01,141 --> 00:01:03,302 Miss Rita Moreno, 15 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:08,371 Ahh! Ahh! 16 00:01:09,649 --> 00:01:13,449 # But now let's get things started on the most sensationaI, inspirationaI 17 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,545 # CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI 18 00:01:15,622 --> 00:01:18,284 # This is what we call 19 00:01:18,358 --> 00:01:21,759 # The Muppet Show 20 00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:30,265 Thank you, thank you, thank you, And welcome to The Muppet Show. 21 00:01:30,337 --> 00:01:33,238 And what a show we got, We have music, comedy, 22 00:01:33,306 --> 00:01:36,605 225 dancing elephants who, unfortunately, 23 00:01:36,676 --> 00:01:41,272 left their costumes at home because they forgot to pack their trunks, 24 00:01:41,348 --> 00:01:45,114 I gave him that joke, - I wish I gave it right back, 25 00:01:45,185 --> 00:01:47,915 But right now, let's get things moving with our speciaI guest star, 26 00:01:47,988 --> 00:01:52,789 the beautifuI, lovely, terrific and talented - lovely Miss Rita Moreno, 27 00:02:27,394 --> 00:02:28,884 Agh! 28 00:02:30,597 --> 00:02:32,087 Agh! 29 00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:37,450 Agh! 30 00:04:52,772 --> 00:04:56,299 OK, great number, Hey, would somebody help that guy up the stairs, please? 31 00:04:56,376 --> 00:04:59,368 She always does, She was, but was I good? 32 00:04:59,446 --> 00:05:03,576 Good? Piggy, honey, you're a ripsnorter, 33 00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:07,586 Hey, Fozzie, can you get that? - I'll get it, Kermit, 34 00:05:07,654 --> 00:05:10,646 Hello, The Muppet Show backstage, 35 00:05:11,891 --> 00:05:15,122 Who was it? - The Water Department, 36 00:05:16,763 --> 00:05:18,594 What the hey? 37 00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:23,665 And now "Veterinarian's Hospital. " 38 00:05:23,737 --> 00:05:27,935 The continuing story of a former orthopedic surgeon 39 00:05:28,008 --> 00:05:30,033 who's gone to the dogs. 40 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:34,308 I'm sorry I'm late, Dr, Bob, I was operating in the other room, 41 00:05:34,381 --> 00:05:37,748 I know, It's the talk of the hospitaI, 42 00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:39,409 Booga booga! 43 00:05:39,486 --> 00:05:41,681 Cut that out, Let me have the ear thing, 44 00:05:41,755 --> 00:05:44,588 Ear thing, Dr, Bob, 45 00:05:44,658 --> 00:05:46,922 Ooh, feels good, Stick, 46 00:05:46,993 --> 00:05:49,791 Stick, Dr, Bob, - Fetch, 47 00:05:51,531 --> 00:05:55,592 What's that all about? - That's my laboratory retriever, 48 00:05:55,669 --> 00:05:57,967 Good girI, - Thank you, 49 00:05:58,038 --> 00:06:01,269 Oh, what do you think, Dr, Bob? - I think this man is sick, 50 00:06:01,341 --> 00:06:04,970 He oughtta see a doctor, - But, Dr, Bob, you are a doctor, 51 00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:08,173 That's your opinion, I'm gettin' outta here, - No, you're not, 52 00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:12,708 You can't leave, Fozzie, Dr, Bob is the only one who can save you now, 53 00:06:12,786 --> 00:06:16,119 She's right, I saved over 500 last year, - What? Patients? 54 00:06:16,189 --> 00:06:18,350 No, Dollars, 55 00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:21,155 Of course, I also lost over 1 00 pounds, - What? In weight? 56 00:06:21,227 --> 00:06:23,388 No, In England, 57 00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:27,858 Dr, Bob, you should be ashamed of yourself, 58 00:06:27,934 --> 00:06:30,232 You call yourself a doctor, Dr, Bob? 59 00:06:30,303 --> 00:06:35,468 I'd never call myself a doctor, They don't come when you call them anyway, 60 00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:39,603 Tune in next week when we'll hear Nurse Piggy say. 61 00:06:39,679 --> 00:06:42,079 Dr, Bob, you've lost all your patients, 62 00:06:42,148 --> 00:06:46,414 I can't help it, I got a short temper, About this tall, 63 00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:47,578 Can I go now? 64 00:06:49,289 --> 00:06:52,986 OK, a little shaky, A little shaky, guys, - Well, your timing was awfuI! 65 00:06:53,059 --> 00:06:56,620 What do you know about time? - I know your face would stop a clock! 66 00:06:56,696 --> 00:06:58,493 Well, stop it, pork chop! 67 00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:04,128 Hey, Fozzie, Can you get that, please? - Yeah, Kermit, I'll get it, 68 00:07:04,938 --> 00:07:07,930 Hello, Backstage at The Muppet Show. 69 00:07:12,112 --> 00:07:14,910 Fozzie, who was it? 70 00:07:14,981 --> 00:07:17,415 The Fire Department, 71 00:07:17,484 --> 00:07:21,215 I think this is what they call a running gag, 72 00:07:23,757 --> 00:07:27,193 No, that's what they call a running gag, 73 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:29,592 Here's a Muppet newsflash, 74 00:07:32,265 --> 00:07:37,862 Dateline, Fresno, Mr, Thomas Galli, or Galley, spent the last 2 7 months 75 00:07:37,937 --> 00:07:42,306 teaching his pet chicken to dance classicaI ballet, 76 00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:44,366 Last Saturday, the chicken passed her auditions 77 00:07:44,444 --> 00:07:47,311 and became a member of the RoyaI Copenhagen Ballet, 78 00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:50,713 Unfortunately, Mrs, Galley didn't wish to move to Denmark, 79 00:07:50,784 --> 00:07:53,947 so she fricasseed the ballerina for lunch, 80 00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:59,455 Speaking of lunch, I wonder what the Swedish chef has up his sleeve, 81 00:07:59,526 --> 00:08:03,257 A summons from the board of health, I wager, 82 00:08:18,912 --> 00:08:21,142 Der flappen jacken hooken, 83 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,311 Just flip, Der, 84 00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:32,781 Der flip-flop der flapjack, 85 00:08:38,264 --> 00:08:39,925 Flip, 86 00:08:43,736 --> 00:08:45,931 Der sticken on der roofen, 87 00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:53,210 Der flipjack on der her hoop, 88 00:08:59,018 --> 00:09:01,009 I get der blunderbuss, 89 00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:11,220 I got it, 90 00:09:12,031 --> 00:09:13,692 Ha ha, 91 00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:17,125 The Muppet Show. Backstage, 92 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,232 Fozzie, who was that? - Las Vegas, 93 00:09:38,524 --> 00:09:41,755 They're a nice-looking couple, 94 00:09:41,828 --> 00:09:44,319 Yeah, but a couple of what? 95 00:09:49,168 --> 00:09:51,363 I hear you come from a broken home, 96 00:09:51,437 --> 00:09:53,905 Yeah, I broke it myself, 97 00:09:53,973 --> 00:09:56,100 Two, three, dip, - Ahh! 98 00:09:56,175 --> 00:09:57,164 Dip, - Ahh! 99 00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:58,602 Dip, - Ahh! 100 00:09:58,678 --> 00:10:00,043 Ahh! 101 00:10:02,515 --> 00:10:05,541 Does one ever encounter sharks in these parts? 102 00:10:05,618 --> 00:10:09,486 Oh, no, Absolutely not, Never, Why do you ask? 103 00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:12,281 Just curious, 104 00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:18,891 I hear that the president said that you shouldn't panic if you don't have a job, 105 00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:22,366 That's easy for him to say, He's got a job, 106 00:10:30,143 --> 00:10:33,010 I don't think we should come to this ballroom any more, 107 00:10:33,079 --> 00:10:37,982 Why? - It seems to attract a lower class of animaI, 108 00:10:39,152 --> 00:10:40,915 Oh, well, 109 00:10:40,987 --> 00:10:42,045 Ahh! 110 00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:46,285 I have a gnawing feeling you're right, Let's tango, 111 00:10:56,869 --> 00:11:00,168 # I started on a journey just about a year ago 112 00:11:00,239 --> 00:11:03,731 # To a little town called Morrow in the state of Ohio 113 00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:07,211 # I've never been much of a traveler, and I really didn't know 114 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,647 # That Morrow was the hardest place I'd ever try to go 115 00:11:10,717 --> 00:11:14,175 # So I went down to the station for my ticket and applied 116 00:11:14,253 --> 00:11:17,654 # For tips regarding Morrow, not expecting to be guyed 117 00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:21,216 # Said I, "My friend, I'd like to go to Morrow and return 118 00:11:21,294 --> 00:11:25,663 # No later than tomorrow for I haven't time to burn" 119 00:11:29,802 --> 00:11:30,826 # Said he to me 120 00:11:30,903 --> 00:11:33,303 # "Now let me see if I have heard you right" 121 00:11:33,373 --> 00:11:36,865 # You'd like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night 122 00:11:36,943 --> 00:11:40,379 # You should have gone to Morrow yesterday, and back today 123 00:11:40,446 --> 00:11:43,904 # For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way 124 00:11:43,983 --> 00:11:47,510 # If you had gone to Morrow yesterday, now don't you see 125 00:11:47,587 --> 00:11:51,023 # You could have gone to Morrow and returned today at three 126 00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:54,617 # For the train today to Morrow, if the schedule is right 127 00:11:54,694 --> 00:11:58,130 # Today it gets to Morrow and returns tomorrow night 128 00:11:58,197 --> 00:12:01,758 # Said I, "I'd like to go to Morrow, so can I go today 129 00:12:01,834 --> 00:12:05,270 # And get to Morrow by tonight if there is no delay?" 130 00:12:05,338 --> 00:12:08,865 # "Well, well," I said to him, "and I've got no more to say 131 00:12:08,941 --> 00:12:12,433 # Can you get anywhere tomorrow and get back again today?" 132 00:12:12,512 --> 00:12:16,073 # Said I, "I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say 133 00:12:16,149 --> 00:12:20,279 # How can I get to Morrow if I leave this town today?" Said he 134 00:12:20,353 --> 00:12:23,186 # "You cannot go to Morrow anymore today 135 00:12:23,256 --> 00:12:26,714 # For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way" 136 00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:30,388 # I was so disappointed, I was mad enough to swear 137 00:12:30,463 --> 00:12:33,955 # The train had gone to Morrow and had left me standing there 138 00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:35,898 # The man was right in telling me 139 00:12:35,968 --> 00:12:39,062 # "You are a howling jay, you cannot go to Morrow" 140 00:12:39,138 --> 00:12:41,436 # Well, I guess in town I'll stay 141 00:12:45,078 --> 00:12:47,444 I don't get it, 142 00:12:52,518 --> 00:12:55,351 Right now, friends, I am proud to present a group of performers 143 00:12:55,421 --> 00:13:00,085 that I personally discovered in the waiting room of a bus station in Toledo, Ohio, 144 00:13:00,159 --> 00:13:02,491 They weren't performing there, they were just waiting, 145 00:13:02,562 --> 00:13:07,499 Anyhow, let's bring 'em on with a big hand, Marvin Suggs and his Muppaphones, 146 00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:09,728 Ole, ole, ole, ole, ole, ole, 147 00:13:09,802 --> 00:13:13,033 Thank you, thank you and gracias. Thank you, 148 00:13:13,106 --> 00:13:16,701 I am the beloved Marvin Suggs, 149 00:13:16,776 --> 00:13:22,009 And now presenting the performing members of the Muppaphones, 150 00:13:22,081 --> 00:13:25,141 Move it, move it, Yeah, Yeah, - Another day, another headache, 151 00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:28,877 Attention! 152 00:13:29,822 --> 00:13:31,551 Tuning up, 153 00:13:31,624 --> 00:13:34,184 Ow, - Ow, 154 00:13:34,427 --> 00:13:36,725 Ow, - Ow, 155 00:13:36,963 --> 00:13:38,225 Ow, 156 00:13:38,297 --> 00:13:43,462 Oh, no, Move it, Marvin, Move it, move it, Marvin, Move it, Move it, 157 00:13:43,536 --> 00:13:45,367 Attention! 158 00:13:46,772 --> 00:13:48,865 Tuning up, 159 00:13:48,941 --> 00:13:50,568 Ow, - Ow, 160 00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:52,471 Ow, - Ow, 161 00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,509 Ow, - Ow, 162 00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:55,808 Ow, 163 00:13:55,882 --> 00:14:00,478 Move it, Lucy, Move it, Move it, move it, move it, move it, 164 00:14:00,553 --> 00:14:02,384 Attention! 165 00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:05,947 Tuning up, 166 00:14:06,792 --> 00:14:07,986 Ow, - Ow, 167 00:14:08,227 --> 00:14:09,285 Ow, - Ow, 168 00:14:09,529 --> 00:14:10,393 Ow, - Ow, 169 00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:12,495 Ow, - Ow, 170 00:14:12,565 --> 00:14:15,261 Yes, yes, Oh, yes, yes, Marvin, you've done it! 171 00:14:17,904 --> 00:14:19,701 Bernard, 172 00:14:19,772 --> 00:14:21,603 Ow! 173 00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:25,975 And now, "Lady of Spain," 174 00:14:26,812 --> 00:14:28,803 The song, 175 00:14:31,951 --> 00:14:34,385 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 176 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:38,112 # Ow, ow, ow, oooow 177 00:14:40,193 --> 00:14:42,457 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 178 00:14:42,695 --> 00:14:46,187 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 179 00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:50,192 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 180 00:14:50,436 --> 00:14:53,894 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 181 00:14:55,441 --> 00:14:58,672 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 182 00:14:58,911 --> 00:15:01,846 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 183 00:15:02,081 --> 00:15:06,142 # Ow, ow, ow, ow 184 00:15:19,098 --> 00:15:22,158 Can we have a little quiet here? Can we have a little quiet? Quiet! 185 00:15:22,235 --> 00:15:23,224 Quiet, please! 186 00:15:23,302 --> 00:15:25,293 Agh! 187 00:15:25,871 --> 00:15:29,705 OK, time again to raise the intellectuaI leveI of our program, 188 00:15:29,775 --> 00:15:32,835 as our paneI discusses questions of lasting importance, 189 00:15:32,912 --> 00:15:35,278 Our speciaI guest tonight is Miss Tiffany Gonzalez, 190 00:15:35,348 --> 00:15:36,940 Allo, allo, - Aloha, Tiffany, 191 00:15:37,016 --> 00:15:39,075 And our question of lasting importance - 192 00:15:39,151 --> 00:15:42,245 "Is conversation a dying art?" What do you think, Tiffany? 193 00:15:42,321 --> 00:15:45,188 Well, yes, Kermit, people don't know how to talk, 194 00:15:45,258 --> 00:15:47,726 They speak gibberish, They don't say nothing, 195 00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:49,784 You talk to people, they don't listen, 196 00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:53,593 Fabulous, I'm talking to this crazy guy, I'm talking about war and peace, 197 00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:57,898 then he tells me something about the price of coconuts, Am I crazy or is he crazy? 198 00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:00,200 What did she say? - I don't know, I wasn't listening, 199 00:16:00,273 --> 00:16:02,741 I was listening and I still don't know what she said, 200 00:16:02,808 --> 00:16:05,504 What's the matter with you? You don't understand English? 201 00:16:05,578 --> 00:16:08,172 No, I don't understand English, 202 00:16:08,247 --> 00:16:10,442 Wait a minute! - Don't make fun of the lady's accent, 203 00:16:10,516 --> 00:16:14,179 What did I say? Listen, butch, I speak as good English as the next guy, 204 00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:17,381 Yeah, if the next guy is Desi Arnaz, 205 00:16:17,456 --> 00:16:19,924 Piggy, please, Girls, if you... - Excuse me, I want to talk, 206 00:16:19,992 --> 00:16:21,983 Listen, you, 207 00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:26,828 How would you like a high heeI in your ham hocks? 208 00:16:26,899 --> 00:16:30,130 Well, I never, - What about conversation as a dying art? 209 00:16:30,202 --> 00:16:34,229 If conversation is a dying art, you killed it! 210 00:16:34,307 --> 00:16:36,832 Piggy, please, Why don't you let Tiffany and The Guru talk? 211 00:16:36,909 --> 00:16:40,709 "Tiffany and The Guru," Didn't that star Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon? 212 00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:44,079 I saw that movie, - Listen, your time is almost up, 213 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:47,210 Listen to me, In my country we have a seldom used saying: 214 00:16:47,286 --> 00:16:51,586 "When the swine lubricates the automobile you end up with a greased pig," 215 00:16:51,657 --> 00:16:53,022 That don't make sense, 216 00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,219 I know, That's why it's seldom used, 217 00:16:55,294 --> 00:16:57,285 In my country we have a saying too: 218 00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:59,456 Cuando uno trabaja con una cochinita majadera 219 00:16:59,532 --> 00:17:03,332 lo que hay que hacer es darle la amenaza de posibilidad de asesinato. 220 00:17:03,402 --> 00:17:05,461 What is that supposed to mean? 221 00:17:05,538 --> 00:17:10,999 That means one more crack from you and you're one dead enchilada! 222 00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:13,443 And who let this wacko taco on the paneI? 223 00:17:13,512 --> 00:17:18,279 Listen, how would you like to take a flying leap into a sausage factory? 224 00:17:18,351 --> 00:17:21,548 Don't touch me! - OK, I'm sick and tired of you! 225 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,020 Come over here! Come over here! She's a coward, 226 00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:27,082 Well, the question is "is conversation a dying art?" 227 00:17:27,159 --> 00:17:29,684 And I don't think it is, but it is severely injured, 228 00:17:29,762 --> 00:17:34,597 Tune in next week when our topic will be improving US-Latin American relations, 229 00:17:36,335 --> 00:17:40,431 That Miss Moreno is easy on the eyes, but hard on the ears, 230 00:17:40,506 --> 00:17:45,409 Yes, In fact, I just got a concussion from that discussion, 231 00:17:50,516 --> 00:17:53,007 The Muppet Show. Backstage, 232 00:17:56,489 --> 00:17:58,582 OK, who was it this time? 233 00:17:58,657 --> 00:18:01,182 The Atomic Energy Commission, 234 00:18:02,395 --> 00:18:04,590 Here's a Muppet newsflash, 235 00:18:04,663 --> 00:18:06,790 There is no news tonight, 236 00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:10,925 Hey, listen, Rita, At this time in the show... 237 00:18:11,003 --> 00:18:12,994 Kermit, Kermit, before you go on, - What? 238 00:18:13,072 --> 00:18:15,836 I just have to tell you that I have always been a Muppet nut, 239 00:18:15,908 --> 00:18:18,274 That I love all of you so much, 240 00:18:22,748 --> 00:18:24,978 A frog is very ticklish, Hey, but listen, 241 00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:29,646 This is the part of the show where we have what we call our "talk spot," you see, 242 00:18:29,722 --> 00:18:34,318 where the guest sits here and talks casually and spontaneously with the frog, 243 00:18:34,393 --> 00:18:38,261 I know, I know, but, Kermit, haven't you ever noticed on these variety shows, 244 00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:41,766 when they have a talk spot, that the actors always come off so phony? 245 00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:46,396 I mean, you know that they're rehearsed, You know that they are reading cue cards, 246 00:18:46,472 --> 00:18:50,408 Yeah, but, Rita, on our show, on our... Wait a minute... 247 00:18:50,476 --> 00:18:52,842 "But Rita, but Rita, on our show, 248 00:18:52,912 --> 00:18:57,076 we do not use any cue cards, Rita, 249 00:18:57,149 --> 00:18:59,117 on our show, we do not... " 250 00:18:59,185 --> 00:19:01,016 Kermit! 251 00:19:01,854 --> 00:19:04,652 I was just kidding there, - Oh, sorry, 252 00:19:04,723 --> 00:19:08,659 Kermit, can't we just please do it Muppet-style, Let's ad-lib it, 253 00:19:08,727 --> 00:19:11,855 Oh, you mean ad-lib, just sort of... yeah, just make it up? 254 00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:15,526 I don't mind, Sure, yeah, just chatting, like that, Sure, 255 00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:19,469 I don't mind doing that, but there are others who might take offence, 256 00:19:19,538 --> 00:19:22,530 Like who? - Like the guy who holds the cue cards, 257 00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:30,442 Nice lady no want Sweetums to hold cue cards? 258 00:19:30,516 --> 00:19:32,643 Well, I, uh... 259 00:19:32,718 --> 00:19:34,242 No, 260 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,812 Nice lady let Sweetums hold something else? 261 00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:39,949 Oh, sure, you can hold anything you want, 262 00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:44,189 Uh-huh, That best offer me have all week, - Ahh! 263 00:19:49,268 --> 00:19:54,433 Happens so often on our show, Our guest stars just get carried away, 264 00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:59,511 As all of us right-thinking people know 265 00:19:59,578 --> 00:20:02,979 Wayne and Wanda are the only truly uplifting act 266 00:20:03,048 --> 00:20:05,539 on this whole questionable program, 267 00:20:05,618 --> 00:20:10,055 So, with a sense of awesome pride, 268 00:20:10,122 --> 00:20:15,685 I present the singing team of Wayne and Wanda with "Goody Goody," 269 00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:17,752 Oh, goody, goody, 270 00:20:20,332 --> 00:20:25,292 # So you met someone who set you back on your heels 271 00:20:25,371 --> 00:20:27,362 # Goody Goody 272 00:20:28,374 --> 00:20:31,275 OK, moving right along, friends, - Stall, stall, 273 00:20:31,343 --> 00:20:32,833 Yeah, OK, 274 00:20:32,912 --> 00:20:35,779 Once again, by popular demand, Mr, Fozzie Bear, 275 00:20:37,249 --> 00:20:41,686 Thank you, Yeah, love you all, Yeah, it's me again, the old Fozzie Bear, 276 00:20:41,754 --> 00:20:45,281 Hickory dickory dock, a laugh a minute by the clock, 277 00:20:45,357 --> 00:20:49,487 Oh, yeah, well, you better check your clock, It looks like it stopped, 278 00:20:49,562 --> 00:20:53,225 I go with a lovely girI, She's so bowlegged, when she stands around the house, 279 00:20:53,299 --> 00:20:56,234 she stands around the house, 280 00:20:56,969 --> 00:21:01,429 Hey! Hey! You remind me of Charlton Heston, 281 00:21:01,507 --> 00:21:03,498 Charlton Heston doesn't tell jokes, 282 00:21:03,576 --> 00:21:05,339 Well? 283 00:21:06,178 --> 00:21:08,408 Well, I'm good enough to play the Palace, 284 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,847 You're not good enough to clean the Palace, 285 00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:17,913 Didn't you like my last joke? - Yes, if you promise it's your last joke, 286 00:21:17,990 --> 00:21:22,188 You-you guys wouldn't know a good joke if you fell over one, 287 00:21:22,261 --> 00:21:25,992 Well, we're not in any danger with your act, 288 00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:32,428 OK, onstage for Rita's closing number, That's Rita, Floyd and AnimaI, please, 289 00:21:32,504 --> 00:21:34,096 Onstage, onstage, 290 00:21:34,173 --> 00:21:36,539 OK, Everybody ready for that closing... 291 00:21:36,609 --> 00:21:39,077 I'll get it, I'll get it, - Don't! Don't answer that phone, Fozzie! 292 00:21:39,144 --> 00:21:41,578 I got it, I got it, - No, Fozzie, Do not answer that telephone, 293 00:21:41,647 --> 00:21:44,912 Oh, but, Kermit, All these terrific funny things happen when I do answer it, 294 00:21:44,984 --> 00:21:47,646 I'm aware of that, I'm aware of that, - Come on, Watch out, I'll get it, 295 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,712 Is there no end to this running gag? 296 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,868 Well, I guess that puts an end to this running gag, 297 00:22:04,937 --> 00:22:08,338 Yeah, and also to all the incoming calls, 298 00:22:23,989 --> 00:22:26,651 # Never know how much I love you 299 00:22:27,459 --> 00:22:30,587 # Never know how much I care 300 00:22:31,397 --> 00:22:34,230 # When you put your arms around me 301 00:22:34,299 --> 00:22:37,700 # I get a fever that's so hard to bear 302 00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:40,603 # You give me fever 303 00:22:41,607 --> 00:22:43,165 # When you kiss me 304 00:22:43,242 --> 00:22:46,973 # Fever when you hold me tight 305 00:22:47,046 --> 00:22:49,412 # Fever 306 00:22:50,416 --> 00:22:52,976 # In the morning 307 00:22:53,052 --> 00:22:56,385 # Fever all through the night 308 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,084 Oye, buddy, 309 00:23:03,162 --> 00:23:05,187 Quiero decirte que no se debe hacer eso. 310 00:23:05,264 --> 00:23:06,925 It's not nice,? Entiendes? 311 00:23:06,999 --> 00:23:08,728 Mirame a mi cuando te hable. 312 00:23:08,801 --> 00:23:10,860 Este es mi numero y, si tu me fastidias mas, 313 00:23:10,936 --> 00:23:13,928 te voy a dar una gaznata que te vas a ver bobo. 314 00:23:14,006 --> 00:23:17,100 So cooI it, 315 00:23:17,176 --> 00:23:19,167 So cooI it, 316 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:31,112 # Sun lights up the morning 317 00:23:31,924 --> 00:23:35,121 # Moon lights up the night 318 00:23:35,928 --> 00:23:39,056 # I light up when you call my name 319 00:23:39,131 --> 00:23:42,100 # Cos you know I'm gonna treat you right 320 00:23:42,167 --> 00:23:44,158 # You give me fever 321 00:23:46,038 --> 00:23:48,973 # When you kiss me 322 00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:51,407 # Hold me tight 323 00:23:51,477 --> 00:23:53,274 # Fever 324 00:23:54,079 --> 00:23:56,343 # When you kiss me 325 00:23:56,415 --> 00:23:59,350 # Fever when you hold me tight 326 00:24:00,152 --> 00:24:03,019 # Fever all through the night 327 00:24:03,889 --> 00:24:05,720 # Fever 328 00:24:05,791 --> 00:24:08,282 # All through the night 329 00:24:16,435 --> 00:24:19,370 That's my kind of woman, 330 00:24:25,978 --> 00:24:28,378 Well, once again, folks, we've come to the end of the show, 331 00:24:28,447 --> 00:24:32,850 and I cannot but pause to thank our lovely guest star, Miss Rita Moreno, 332 00:24:35,354 --> 00:24:37,549 Ole. 333 00:24:37,623 --> 00:24:40,854 Rita, I wish you wouldn't throw things on the floor, We try to be neat around here, 334 00:24:40,926 --> 00:24:43,861 Oh, that's OK, Kermit, He loves it, I had lunch with him today, It's OK, 335 00:24:43,929 --> 00:24:46,762 OK, if you say so, Hey, thank you, Rita, And thank you all, 336 00:24:46,832 --> 00:24:49,824 Join us next time on The Muppet Show. 337 00:24:54,006 --> 00:24:56,440 Fozzie, go backstage, 338 00:25:31,677 --> 00:25:34,737 I still couldn't find the chewing gum,