1 00:00:11,558 --> 00:00:16,791 It's The Muppet Show, with tonight's speciaI guest star, Mr, Jim Nabors, 2 00:00:25,205 --> 00:00:27,230 # It's time to play the music 3 00:00:27,307 --> 00:00:29,298 # It's time to light the lights 4 00:00:29,376 --> 00:00:33,472 # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight 5 00:00:33,547 --> 00:00:35,515 # It's time to put on makeup 6 00:00:35,582 --> 00:00:37,607 # It's time to dress up right 7 00:00:37,684 --> 00:00:41,586 # It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight 8 00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:49,889 My cousin is so thin he paints his head gold and rents himself out as a flagpole, 9 00:00:51,164 --> 00:00:53,189 # To introduce our guest star 10 00:00:53,266 --> 00:00:55,029 # That's what I'm here to do 11 00:00:55,102 --> 00:00:57,434 # So it really makes me happy 12 00:00:57,504 --> 00:00:59,404 # To introduce to you... 13 00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:01,338 Mr, Jim Nabors! 14 00:01:08,248 --> 00:01:12,048 # But now let's get things started on the most sensationaI, inspirationaI 15 00:01:12,119 --> 00:01:14,144 # CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI 16 00:01:14,221 --> 00:01:16,746 # This is what we call 17 00:01:16,823 --> 00:01:21,385 # The Muppet Show 18 00:01:25,766 --> 00:01:27,757 Thank you, Thank you, thank you, All right, 19 00:01:27,834 --> 00:01:30,394 Here we are once again with another great show for you, 20 00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:32,802 with our speciaI guest star, Mr, Jim Nabors, 21 00:01:32,873 --> 00:01:35,273 and all of this... all of this is coming to you, by the way, 22 00:01:35,342 --> 00:01:38,539 from the Benny Vandergast MemoriaI Theater, 23 00:01:38,612 --> 00:01:41,706 We on The Muppet Show owe everything to Benny, 24 00:01:41,782 --> 00:01:44,012 Including three months back rent, 25 00:01:44,084 --> 00:01:47,884 So in lieu of the rent, here's the fantastic Dr, Teeth with "Money," 26 00:01:47,954 --> 00:01:50,354 Yeah! 27 00:01:57,030 --> 00:01:59,999 # Don't want no loving, don't want no kissing 28 00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:03,035 # Don't want no girI to call me honey 29 00:02:03,103 --> 00:02:06,095 # Don't want my name in the hall of fame 30 00:02:06,173 --> 00:02:08,198 # Just want a big fat pile of money 31 00:02:08,275 --> 00:02:11,506 # Give me that almighty dollar For that lettuce, hear me holler 32 00:02:11,578 --> 00:02:14,445 # Give me buckets full of ducats Let me walk around and wallow 33 00:02:14,514 --> 00:02:17,449 # In mazuma, el dinero Wanna be a millionaire-oh 34 00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:20,418 # Give me money, money, money, money, money 35 00:02:20,487 --> 00:02:23,513 # I want that green ammunition That's the stuff for which I'm wishing 36 00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:26,582 # Fill my closets with deposits I'm a demon in addition 37 00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:29,959 # Give me shekels, give me pesos, let me see their smiling face-ohs 38 00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:32,624 # Money, money, money, money, money 39 00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:35,691 # Wanna get me a suit that's made out of loot 40 00:02:35,769 --> 00:02:38,397 # And whistle "The Wearing of the Green" 41 00:02:38,472 --> 00:02:41,566 # I've got that monetary-itis, like to be just like King Midas 42 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:44,508 # Want that golden touch is what I mean 43 00:02:44,578 --> 00:02:47,604 # Give me that old double eagle Want that tender that is legaI 44 00:02:47,681 --> 00:02:50,514 # And financially substantiaI Any sum I can inveigle 45 00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,917 # Wanna live in regaI splendor with that loving legaI tender 46 00:02:53,987 --> 00:02:56,751 # Money, money, money, money, money 47 00:03:02,462 --> 00:03:05,397 # I'm a greenback collector, I'm a paper-bill inspector 48 00:03:05,465 --> 00:03:08,400 # I'm a savage for that cabbage Man, to me it's golden nectar 49 00:03:08,468 --> 00:03:11,835 # Pour that filthy lucre on me Spread those loving germs upon me 50 00:03:11,905 --> 00:03:14,840 # Money, money, money, money, money 51 00:03:14,908 --> 00:03:20,471 # And if they ever plant trees of e pluribus unum 52 00:03:20,547 --> 00:03:24,210 # I wanna be the guy that they send out to prune 'em 53 00:03:24,284 --> 00:03:28,084 # Oh, give me money, money, Whoo, money, money, money 54 00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:30,179 # Money 55 00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:39,521 They don't write the old songs anymore, 56 00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:40,793 Yeah, 57 00:03:40,867 --> 00:03:43,836 They only write new ones, - Yeah, Huh? 58 00:03:45,739 --> 00:03:50,472 Oh, Dr, Teeth, you are one hip dude, 59 00:03:50,544 --> 00:03:52,978 Nice number, nice number, Don't lose any of that money though, 60 00:03:53,046 --> 00:03:55,310 Oh, I won't, I won't, 61 00:03:57,918 --> 00:04:00,978 Hi, Are you Kermit the Frog? - Uh, yeah, 62 00:04:01,054 --> 00:04:05,457 I'm Scooter, - Cute, Cute name, 63 00:04:05,525 --> 00:04:09,052 I'm your new gofer, - Gopher? No, no, 64 00:04:09,129 --> 00:04:11,927 We have frogs, pigs and chickens around here, but we've never had a gopher, 65 00:04:11,998 --> 00:04:15,161 Matter of fact, you don't even look like a gopher, 66 00:04:15,235 --> 00:04:18,796 Yeah, well, you don't understand, You see, I'm your new gofer, 67 00:04:18,872 --> 00:04:23,138 Yeah, I'll gofer coffee, I'll gofer sandwiches, I'll gofer anything you need, 68 00:04:23,209 --> 00:04:25,200 I see, - Yeah, well, I work reaI cheap 69 00:04:25,278 --> 00:04:28,873 and I got plenty of ideas for your theater, and I'll start tonight, OK? 70 00:04:28,949 --> 00:04:31,474 Listen, kid, I'm sorry, but you're too young, 71 00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:34,247 you don't have any experience, and I don't have any money for it in the budget, 72 00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:36,983 Yeah, well, my uncle owns this theater, 73 00:04:37,057 --> 00:04:40,857 You start today, Get me a cup of coffee, Your salary is 20 a week, 74 00:04:40,927 --> 00:04:44,090 Stand by for the next number, - Could you make it 25? 75 00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:47,759 Are you kidding? I can't afford it, - Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed, 76 00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:49,825 How about 30? 77 00:04:55,308 --> 00:05:00,405 My wife's not feeling well, - Oh, sorry to hear it, What's the trouble? 78 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,142 She's got the shingles, 79 00:05:05,585 --> 00:05:08,577 Muppet news flash. 80 00:05:09,889 --> 00:05:13,620 Billy Lee Boomer, a gas-station attendant from Penny Box, Texas, 81 00:05:13,693 --> 00:05:17,493 reported a flying saucer landed at his station last night, 82 00:05:17,564 --> 00:05:20,260 Said Mr, Boomer: 83 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:24,599 They didn't want no gas, they just wanted to use the restroom. 84 00:05:24,671 --> 00:05:30,371 Can't say as I blame them. Said they'd traveled 83 million miles without a stop. 85 00:05:30,443 --> 00:05:33,742 Hey, AnimaI, Are you on next? - Yeah, 86 00:05:33,813 --> 00:05:37,180 Well, as they say in show business, break a leg, 87 00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:40,185 Huh? - I said break a leg, 88 00:05:40,253 --> 00:05:43,086 Oh, thank you, 89 00:05:43,156 --> 00:05:46,250 Ow! 90 00:05:54,134 --> 00:05:56,398 George, George, Come here, - I'm busy, 91 00:05:56,469 --> 00:05:59,165 Come here, Have you met Scooter? This is Scooter, 92 00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:02,208 He's our new gofer, so if you need anything around here, you know... 93 00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:06,871 Need anything? Me? Need anything from some young kid? Huh, 94 00:06:06,946 --> 00:06:10,882 Listen, kid, I've been with this theater since the very beginning, you know? 95 00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:13,817 Before that new guy bought it and ruined it, 96 00:06:13,887 --> 00:06:17,823 Now the roof leaks and the seats are torn, the furnace is on the fritz... 97 00:06:17,891 --> 00:06:20,621 I tell you, he is the worst, - Yeah, he's my uncle, 98 00:06:20,694 --> 00:06:23,026 He is the best, 99 00:06:23,863 --> 00:06:26,195 What's a theater without problems? - Right, 100 00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,996 Your uncle's got a good head on his shoulders, 101 00:06:29,069 --> 00:06:31,799 Unlike some people around here, 102 00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:46,109 Ten, eleven, twelve... 103 00:06:46,186 --> 00:06:47,778 Yeah, go, 104 00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:51,950 You know, my marriage was wrecked by something really stupid, 105 00:06:52,025 --> 00:06:55,222 What was that? - My husband, 106 00:06:58,498 --> 00:07:03,060 My doctor says I'm getting the Asian flu, - What did he say to do? 107 00:07:03,136 --> 00:07:08,369 He says take two fortune cookies and he'd call me in the morning, 108 00:07:09,642 --> 00:07:12,577 Do you believe in the hereafter? - Oh, yes, 109 00:07:12,645 --> 00:07:15,580 Wow, then you know what I'm here after, 110 00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:19,981 Oh, I just love this music, 111 00:07:20,053 --> 00:07:22,146 Are you listening to me? 112 00:07:22,222 --> 00:07:25,783 Your voice is music to my ears, 113 00:07:28,528 --> 00:07:32,794 You got something I've been looking for all my life, 114 00:07:35,835 --> 00:07:37,996 Well, it's halftime, 115 00:07:38,071 --> 00:07:39,436 It is? - Yeah, 116 00:07:39,506 --> 00:07:45,103 What's the score? - Muppets six, audience nothing, 117 00:07:52,018 --> 00:07:58,014 All right, now this is what you call your dog kind of music here, as you'll see, 118 00:07:59,159 --> 00:08:01,024 Sing it, 119 00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:03,358 # Bowery corner 120 00:08:04,197 --> 00:08:06,188 # Foggy night 121 00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:09,001 # Passing crowd 122 00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:12,435 # Electric light 123 00:08:12,505 --> 00:08:14,496 Oh, yeah, Yeah, 124 00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:20,269 # German chef 125 00:08:21,114 --> 00:08:23,412 # Can of tin 126 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:29,586 # Sausages are boiled within 127 00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:33,520 Oh, play it pretty, Rowlf, 128 00:08:36,029 --> 00:08:38,054 # Yellow dog 129 00:08:39,065 --> 00:08:41,226 # Nearby prowls 130 00:08:42,068 --> 00:08:45,060 # Smells a sausage 131 00:08:45,138 --> 00:08:47,299 # Softly growls 132 00:08:48,141 --> 00:08:50,234 # Clumsy man 133 00:08:51,244 --> 00:08:53,269 # Wooden leg 134 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:59,684 # Upsets the boiler with his peg 135 00:09:06,025 --> 00:09:08,186 # Spills a sausage 136 00:09:09,195 --> 00:09:11,254 # Scatters wurst 137 00:09:12,265 --> 00:09:17,396 # Yellow dog, he gets there first 138 00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:20,462 # He grabs the sausage 139 00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:23,304 # Splits the fog 140 00:09:23,376 --> 00:09:28,973 # It's another case of dog-eat-dog 141 00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:40,922 # It's another case of dog-eat-dog 142 00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:50,293 Hey, you know, Jim, it's a reaI pleasure to have you with us on the show, 143 00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:52,395 Well, thank you, Kermit, It's a reaI pleasure to be here, 144 00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:54,997 I'm sort of an old country boy and I feeI right at home 145 00:09:55,074 --> 00:09:57,508 with all these chickens and roosters and pigs, 146 00:09:57,577 --> 00:09:59,738 Especially that Miss Piggy, I just love her, 147 00:09:59,812 --> 00:10:01,302 Piggy Lee, - You called, my love? 148 00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:02,746 Hey, Miss Piggy, 149 00:10:02,815 --> 00:10:06,478 Piggy, if you don't mind, Jim and I were just trying to hold a quiet conversation, 150 00:10:06,552 --> 00:10:08,713 Oh, go right ahead, Don't mind me, 151 00:10:08,788 --> 00:10:14,590 Kermit, one thing, I never know whether to call him Jim or Gomer, 152 00:10:14,661 --> 00:10:17,721 Well, I guess it is kinda confusing, You see, I played Gomer Pyle on television for... 153 00:10:17,797 --> 00:10:20,288 Gomer Pyle? I love Gomer Pyle, - Oh, thank you, 154 00:10:20,366 --> 00:10:23,824 Well, I played him for so long I guess I get confused myself, 155 00:10:23,903 --> 00:10:26,701 But it goes along with my astrologicaI sign, You see, I'm a Gemini, 156 00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:28,764 That means I got twin personalities, 157 00:10:28,841 --> 00:10:31,275 Oh, yeah, Hey, listen, well, I'm a Taurus, 158 00:10:31,344 --> 00:10:33,835 You're Taurus, That's the sign of the bull, isn't it? 159 00:10:33,913 --> 00:10:36,040 I'm a bullfrog, 160 00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:39,575 That's just a little joke, - What sign were you born under, Piggy? 161 00:10:39,652 --> 00:10:43,782 Well, I, uh, wasn't born under a sign, I was born over a sign, 162 00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:46,290 At Becker's Butcher Shop, 163 00:10:46,359 --> 00:10:48,725 I moved as soon as possible, 164 00:10:48,795 --> 00:10:50,626 I don't blame you, - Mm, mm, 165 00:10:50,697 --> 00:10:54,292 Hey, I was wondering, Jim, does being a Gemini give you any kind of problems? 166 00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:58,861 Well, it sure does, you know, because I talk like this, but then I sing like this: 167 00:11:04,978 --> 00:11:09,472 What happened to Kermit? - He doesn't appreciate classicaI music, 168 00:11:09,549 --> 00:11:13,576 But it drives me bananas, 169 00:11:13,653 --> 00:11:16,349 Oh, sing again, please... - Wait a minute, Miss Piggy, 170 00:11:16,422 --> 00:11:19,789 Oh, Jim! Oh, I love it when you sing, - ControI yourself, Miss Piggy, Kermit! 171 00:11:19,859 --> 00:11:23,295 Kermit? Kermit? Could you... H-h-hold it, - Yeah, Fozzie, Wh-wh-what? 172 00:11:23,363 --> 00:11:25,297 Listen, "Wh-wh-what?" Listen, Listen, 173 00:11:25,365 --> 00:11:28,391 There is a young kid following me all around the theater, 174 00:11:28,468 --> 00:11:31,767 Yeah, I know, His name is Scooter, 175 00:11:31,838 --> 00:11:34,466 Cute, Cute name, - Yeah, 176 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:36,940 The trouble is, you see, he's following me all around 177 00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:41,413 and giving me these jokes for my act and they are awfuI, 178 00:11:41,481 --> 00:11:44,279 Fozzie, how would you know? 179 00:11:45,451 --> 00:11:49,182 How would I know? Smarty-frog, 180 00:11:49,255 --> 00:11:52,088 OK, OK, listen, Here's one of these jokes he gave me, It's terrible, 181 00:11:52,158 --> 00:11:56,094 OK, a joke, - Hilda, Gonzo, this is one of these jokes, 182 00:11:56,162 --> 00:12:00,223 I stay at a hoteI so exclusive room service has an unlisted number, 183 00:12:03,002 --> 00:12:04,993 That's funny! 184 00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:10,499 Scooter! 185 00:12:10,576 --> 00:12:12,066 Scooter? 186 00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:18,842 Here they are, the world's finest and most morally unobjectionable singing team, 187 00:12:18,918 --> 00:12:21,512 Wayne and Wanda, 188 00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:25,890 And now, "Indian Love Call," 189 00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:35,890 # When I'm calling yoooooooooooou 190 00:12:35,968 --> 00:12:38,266 Hey, baby, You called? 191 00:12:38,337 --> 00:12:39,634 Oh! 192 00:12:44,944 --> 00:12:46,605 OK, uh... 193 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:50,979 Uh, here we are, moving right along now, the comedy star of our show - 194 00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:54,144 the man who comes to us direct from a very long engagement, 195 00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:56,211 but a very short marriage, 196 00:12:56,289 --> 00:12:59,725 the man who thinks that Elton John is a singing bathroom - 197 00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:02,556 I'd like now to bring out one of the top comics of the business... 198 00:13:02,628 --> 00:13:07,088 Hey, since he's not here bring out the regular guy, 199 00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:12,604 OK, here he is now, our very own barreI of boffs, Mr, Fozzie Bear! 200 00:13:13,639 --> 00:13:15,197 Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, 201 00:13:15,641 --> 00:13:19,372 # Time for fun with Fozzie Bear, Here's some jokes from everywhere, 202 00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:21,675 Hey, hey, hey, it's that silly bear, 203 00:13:21,747 --> 00:13:24,978 It's time for the audience to go elsewhere, 204 00:13:25,985 --> 00:13:29,318 If you don't mind, I'll do the jokes, 205 00:13:29,388 --> 00:13:33,449 We don't mind, But when are you gonna do 'em? 206 00:13:33,526 --> 00:13:35,721 Pay no attention to them, folks, 207 00:13:35,795 --> 00:13:39,094 They don't bother me, I can handle hecklers in my sleep, 208 00:13:39,165 --> 00:13:43,795 Oh, well, don't tell that to the audience, They're asleep too, 209 00:13:44,337 --> 00:13:45,668 Uh, uh... 210 00:13:45,738 --> 00:13:48,036 Oh, yeah? - Yeah! 211 00:13:48,107 --> 00:13:50,598 Oh, Oh, yeah? - Yeah! 212 00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:52,333 Oh, yeah? - Yeah! 213 00:13:52,578 --> 00:13:54,637 Oh, yeah? - Yeah! 214 00:13:55,515 --> 00:13:59,383 Listen, I'm gonna tell you my best joke and if you don't laugh 215 00:13:59,452 --> 00:14:01,784 then I'll never come back out on this stage again, OK? 216 00:14:01,854 --> 00:14:03,287 It's a deaI, - Yeah, 217 00:14:03,356 --> 00:14:04,914 Oh, 218 00:14:04,991 --> 00:14:08,620 Ah, Ah, uh, uh... 219 00:14:08,694 --> 00:14:12,221 These two cannibals were talking, One cannibaI says to the other cannibaI: 220 00:14:12,298 --> 00:14:14,596 "Who was that lady I saw you out with last night?" 221 00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:19,730 The other cannibaI says, "That was no lady, that was my lunch," 222 00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:28,177 I got you, I got you, And I lied, That was my worst joke, 223 00:14:28,247 --> 00:14:31,944 Oh, I love me when I'm good, Pacing, timing... 224 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,579 Why did we laugh at that terrible joke? 225 00:14:36,656 --> 00:14:42,288 Well, either we're getting soft or we're in the first stages of senility, 226 00:14:49,302 --> 00:14:50,769 Go-o-olly, 227 00:14:50,836 --> 00:14:54,033 Here it is, my first night at Benson's Bakery as a watchman, 228 00:14:54,106 --> 00:14:57,507 and I gotta be reaI carefuI to not let anybody in here, 229 00:14:57,577 --> 00:14:59,807 Uh-oh, Here comes somebody now, - 230 00:14:59,879 --> 00:15:02,973 Wait! Stop right there, Stop right there, Put up your hands, Put up your hands, 231 00:15:03,049 --> 00:15:05,040 I beg pardon? - Your hands, Put 'em up, 232 00:15:05,117 --> 00:15:07,449 Oh, Oh, OK, 233 00:15:09,589 --> 00:15:12,217 What's that? - Those are my hens, 234 00:15:12,291 --> 00:15:15,749 Where shall I put 'em? - Well, right here on the table, I guess, 235 00:15:15,828 --> 00:15:17,625 OK, 236 00:15:18,764 --> 00:15:21,597 Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, What right have you got to be here? 237 00:15:21,667 --> 00:15:26,104 What rat do I have? Well, I got this rat right here, 238 00:15:27,974 --> 00:15:30,534 Oh, well, I guess you do have a right to be here, 239 00:15:30,610 --> 00:15:32,134 Mm, Thank you, 240 00:15:32,211 --> 00:15:35,806 Now, wait a minute, Don't move a hair, - OK, 241 00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:41,249 What's that? - That's the hare I'm not supposed to move, 242 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,413 Now, wait a minute, I don't want any beef out of you, 243 00:15:43,489 --> 00:15:46,390 No beef, OK, Here's some pork, 244 00:15:47,393 --> 00:15:49,327 No, no, Now wait just a minute, 245 00:15:49,395 --> 00:15:52,523 What are all you animals doing here? This is supposed to be a bakery, 246 00:15:52,598 --> 00:15:58,594 You see, the farmer's been losing money, We came here to raise some dough! 247 00:16:02,842 --> 00:16:06,209 Well, well, well, I'm sure glad we got that straightened out, 248 00:16:06,279 --> 00:16:10,443 For a minute there I thought you were just being silly, 249 00:16:12,451 --> 00:16:14,385 Let me tell you about my nearsighted cousin... 250 00:16:14,453 --> 00:16:16,444 Hi, Fozzie, - Let me tell you... 251 00:16:16,522 --> 00:16:18,922 Oh, Oh, Hi, Hi, Scooter, 252 00:16:18,991 --> 00:16:20,754 Hey, Foz, you know, 253 00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:25,354 I think you're the greatest comedian there ever was, 254 00:16:25,431 --> 00:16:27,194 Me? 255 00:16:27,266 --> 00:16:29,234 You think that I'm the... 256 00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:30,326 Oh, wow, 257 00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:32,428 Really, I mean it, Cross my heart, - Yeah? 258 00:16:32,505 --> 00:16:35,941 You're the best, Nobody, nobody tells a joke as good as you, 259 00:16:36,008 --> 00:16:41,310 Every line, every joke, everything you say, it makes me fall down laughing, 260 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:43,371 You're a million laughs, - OK, Hey, hey, 261 00:16:43,449 --> 00:16:46,816 in that case, let me tell you about my nearsighted cousin, 262 00:16:46,886 --> 00:16:51,220 He's so rich his automobile's fitted with a prescription windshield, 263 00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:53,815 OK, tell me about him, 264 00:16:57,096 --> 00:16:59,894 Lucky his uncle owns this place, 265 00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:03,792 That was a joke! 266 00:17:06,539 --> 00:17:09,906 And now, once again, folks, Mr, Jim Nabors, 267 00:17:15,081 --> 00:17:17,072 # Well, life on the farm is kinda laid back 268 00:17:17,149 --> 00:17:19,481 # Ain't much an old country boy like me can't hack 269 00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:21,952 # It's early to rise and early in the sack 270 00:17:22,021 --> 00:17:24,421 # Thank God I'm a country boy 271 00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:26,355 # Simple kind of life never done me no harm 272 00:17:26,425 --> 00:17:28,586 # I'm raising me a family and working on a farm 273 00:17:28,661 --> 00:17:31,129 # My days are all filled with an easy country charm 274 00:17:31,197 --> 00:17:33,165 # Thank God I'm a country boy 275 00:17:33,232 --> 00:17:35,564 # Well I got me a fine wife I got me old fiddle 276 00:17:35,634 --> 00:17:37,795 # The sun's coming up I got cakes on the griddle 277 00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:40,236 # Life ain't nothing but a funny funny riddle 278 00:17:40,306 --> 00:17:42,672 # Thank God I'm a country boy 279 00:17:42,742 --> 00:17:46,872 # Work's all done and the sun's setting low I pull out my fiddle and I rosin up my bow 280 00:17:46,946 --> 00:17:49,278 # The kids are asleep so I keep it kinda low 281 00:17:49,348 --> 00:17:51,316 # Thank God I'm a country boy 282 00:17:51,384 --> 00:17:53,443 # I'd play "Sally Goodin" all day if I could 283 00:17:53,519 --> 00:17:55,851 # But the Lord and the wife wouldn't take it very good 284 00:17:55,921 --> 00:17:58,253 # I fiddle when I can and I work when I should 285 00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,383 # Thank God I'm a country boy 286 00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,654 # Well, I got me a fine wife I got me old fiddle 287 00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:04,821 # The sun's coming up I got cakes on the griddle 288 00:18:04,897 --> 00:18:07,297 # Life ain't nothing but a funny funny riddle 289 00:18:07,366 --> 00:18:09,834 # Thank God I'm a country boy 290 00:18:10,836 --> 00:18:12,804 Yaa-ha! 291 00:18:12,872 --> 00:18:14,863 Whoo-hoo! 292 00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:16,805 Whoo-hoo! - Whoo-hoo! 293 00:18:18,844 --> 00:18:20,641 # I wouldn't trade my life for diamonds or jewels 294 00:18:20,713 --> 00:18:23,011 # I never was one of them money-hungry fools 295 00:18:23,082 --> 00:18:25,414 # I'd rather have my fiddle and my farming tools 296 00:18:25,484 --> 00:18:27,748 # Thank God I'm a country boy 297 00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:29,811 # City folks driving in a black limousine 298 00:18:29,889 --> 00:18:32,016 # A lot of sad people think that's mighty keen 299 00:18:32,091 --> 00:18:34,423 # Folks, let me tell you exactly what I mean 300 00:18:34,493 --> 00:18:36,757 # Thank God I'm a country boy 301 00:18:36,829 --> 00:18:38,694 # Well, I got me a fine wife I got me old fiddle 302 00:18:38,764 --> 00:18:41,062 # When the sun's coming up I got cakes on the griddle 303 00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:43,465 # Life ain't nothing but a funny funny riddle 304 00:18:43,536 --> 00:18:45,595 # Thank God I'm a country boy 305 00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,777 # Fiddle was my daddy's till the day that he died 306 00:18:56,849 --> 00:18:58,714 # He took me by the hand and held me close to his side 307 00:18:58,784 --> 00:19:01,412 # Said, "Live a good life, play the fiddle with pride" 308 00:19:01,487 --> 00:19:03,887 # Thank God I'm a country boy 309 00:19:03,956 --> 00:19:05,617 # My daddy taught me young how to hunt and how to whittle 310 00:19:05,691 --> 00:19:08,023 # He taught me how to work and play a tune on the fiddle 311 00:19:08,093 --> 00:19:10,391 # Taught me how to love and give just a little 312 00:19:10,463 --> 00:19:12,693 # Thank God I'm a country boy 313 00:19:12,765 --> 00:19:14,665 # Well, I got me a fine wife I got me old fiddle 314 00:19:14,733 --> 00:19:17,099 # As the sun's coming up I got cakes on the griddle 315 00:19:17,169 --> 00:19:20,661 # Life ain't nothing but a funny funny riddle 316 00:19:20,739 --> 00:19:22,366 # Thank God I'm a country boy 317 00:19:30,149 --> 00:19:32,117 Well, that just about wraps it up for another one, 318 00:19:32,184 --> 00:19:36,052 We want to give our speciaI thanks to our very speciaI guest star, Mr, Jim Nabors, 319 00:19:36,121 --> 00:19:38,521 Yeah, let's hear it from you all, 320 00:19:38,591 --> 00:19:41,890 Hey, Jim, I hope you had a good time, - I sure did, Kermit, 321 00:19:41,961 --> 00:19:45,863 But tell me, who was that little fella who kept following me through after the show? 322 00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:48,365 Oh, that's Scooter, His uncle owns the theater, 323 00:19:48,434 --> 00:19:50,459 You called? - No, I didn't, 324 00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:52,595 Oh, that's OK, Kermit, He was reaI nice, 325 00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:54,764 He picked up my coffee and he picked up my wardrobe... 326 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,539 Yeah, I even picked up his accent, Well, go-o-olly! 327 00:19:59,612 --> 00:20:02,012 Be carefuI he doesn't try to pick up your paycheck, 328 00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,276 I'm shocked! - I'm Fozzie, 329 00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:06,978 I'm Piggy, - I'm AnimaI, 330 00:20:07,052 --> 00:20:10,510 Well, I'm saying good night, We'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show. 331 00:20:10,589 --> 00:20:14,184 Go-o-olly, - Go-o-olly, 332 00:20:57,770 --> 00:20:59,829 Pay up, They made it through another one, 333 00:20:59,905 --> 00:21:02,635 Double or nothing, next week's show? - You're on,