1 00:00:11,191 --> 00:00:16,322 It's The Muppet Show, with our speciaI guest star, Mr, PauI Williams! 2 00:00:24,738 --> 00:00:26,797 # It's time to play the music 3 00:00:26,873 --> 00:00:28,864 # It's time to light the lights 4 00:00:28,942 --> 00:00:32,378 # It's time to meet the muppets on The Muppet Show tonight 5 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,014 # It's time to put on makeup 6 00:00:35,082 --> 00:00:37,107 # It's time to dress up right 7 00:00:37,184 --> 00:00:40,950 # It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight 8 00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:49,222 New York is so crowded, even the cemeteries have standing room only, 9 00:00:50,697 --> 00:00:52,631 # To introduce our guest star 10 00:00:52,699 --> 00:00:54,496 # That's what I'm here to do 11 00:00:54,568 --> 00:00:56,866 # So it really makes me happy 12 00:00:56,937 --> 00:00:58,871 # To introduce to you 13 00:00:58,939 --> 00:01:01,032 Mr, PauI Williams! 14 00:01:07,781 --> 00:01:11,547 # But now let's get things started on the most sensationaI, inspirationaI 15 00:01:11,618 --> 00:01:13,677 # CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI 16 00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:19,090 # This is what we call The Muppet Show 17 00:01:24,798 --> 00:01:27,562 Thank you, thank you, thank you, Hi-ho, good friends, 18 00:01:27,634 --> 00:01:29,568 Hey, we got a great show for you tonight, 19 00:01:29,636 --> 00:01:32,036 Our speciaI guest is Mr, PauI Williams, 20 00:01:32,105 --> 00:01:35,131 singer, composer, actor and all-around good guy, 21 00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:37,768 and we're not gonna do any jokes about his size, 22 00:01:37,844 --> 00:01:41,575 But he's such a cute little fella, we're gonna make him an honorary Muppet, 23 00:01:42,482 --> 00:01:46,919 Hark! I hear the cannons roar... No, hark, the cannons r... 24 00:01:46,987 --> 00:01:48,818 Ugh... - Hi, Fozz, What's wrong? 25 00:01:48,889 --> 00:01:52,552 You look worried, - It's my new act, I hope it works, 26 00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:55,220 Oh, come on, you're the greatest! - Yeah? 27 00:01:55,295 --> 00:01:56,956 Yeah, you're always good, 28 00:01:57,030 --> 00:02:00,898 Besides, you're on soon, Now is no time to panic, 29 00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:04,459 Oh, well, see, I got ten minutes of jokes here on the war of 1 81 2, 30 00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:06,699 Now is the time to panic, 31 00:02:07,707 --> 00:02:12,940 Listen, if you're really in trouble, why don't you just use the old telephone pole bit? 32 00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:16,608 - "The old telephone pole bit?" - Oh, yeah, it's the best, 33 00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:18,446 I don't know it, - It's a classic! 34 00:02:18,518 --> 00:02:20,418 It's a classic? - Yeah! 35 00:02:20,487 --> 00:02:23,081 Terrific, I can use it, Tell me, what is it? 36 00:02:23,156 --> 00:02:25,021 The curtains open... - The curtains open, 37 00:02:25,091 --> 00:02:27,286 The audience is there... - The audience is there! 38 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,195 There we are together, on stage... - There we are together... Hold it! 39 00:02:32,265 --> 00:02:33,698 - "We?" - Well, yes, 40 00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:37,498 No, you don't understand, You see, I am a stand-up bear, 41 00:02:37,571 --> 00:02:39,095 Uh-huh, - Yeah, yeah, See... 42 00:02:39,172 --> 00:02:43,472 I... I work alone, I tell the jokes on stage, alone, 43 00:02:43,543 --> 00:02:47,707 Ha-ha, no, you don't tell jokes in the telephone pole bit, 44 00:02:47,781 --> 00:02:51,376 Why not? - Well, you're the telephone pole, 45 00:02:52,319 --> 00:02:54,310 Cute, Cute idea, 46 00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:56,954 We'll see, 47 00:02:58,358 --> 00:03:00,758 OK, right now, friends, it is my great pleasure 48 00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:03,557 to introduce one of the most talented people in our business - 49 00:03:03,630 --> 00:03:09,125 and it's a reaI treat to have him with us on The Muppet Show - Mr, PauI Williams, 50 00:03:19,346 --> 00:03:22,406 # Just an old-fashioned love song 51 00:03:22,482 --> 00:03:25,349 # Playin' on the radio 52 00:03:27,487 --> 00:03:29,614 # And wrapped around the music 53 00:03:29,689 --> 00:03:32,487 # Is the sound of someone promising 54 00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:34,550 # They'll never go 55 00:03:36,863 --> 00:03:38,558 # You'll swear you've heard it before 56 00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:41,430 # As it slowly rambles on and on 57 00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:43,059 # No need in bringin' 'em back 58 00:03:43,136 --> 00:03:45,627 # 'Cause they've never really gone 59 00:03:45,705 --> 00:03:50,165 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 60 00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:53,303 # Comin' down in two-part harmony 61 00:03:55,081 --> 00:03:59,279 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 62 00:03:59,352 --> 00:04:01,980 # One I'm sure they wrote for you and me 63 00:04:02,055 --> 00:04:03,818 # To weave our dreams upon 64 00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:05,881 # Listen to each evenin' 65 00:04:05,959 --> 00:04:08,018 # When the lights are low 66 00:04:10,764 --> 00:04:12,959 # To underscore our love affair 67 00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:15,263 # With tenderness and feeling 68 00:04:15,335 --> 00:04:17,769 # That we've come to know 69 00:04:20,206 --> 00:04:22,037 # You'll swear you've heard it before 70 00:04:22,108 --> 00:04:24,906 # As it slowly rambles on and on 71 00:04:24,978 --> 00:04:26,468 # No need in bringin' 'em back 72 00:04:26,546 --> 00:04:28,673 # 'Cause they've never really gone 73 00:04:29,449 --> 00:04:33,647 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 74 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,814 # Comin' down in three-part harmony 75 00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:42,823 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 76 00:04:42,896 --> 00:04:45,831 # One I'm sure they wrote for you and me 77 00:04:45,899 --> 00:04:47,799 Two, three, four... 78 00:05:06,286 --> 00:05:10,620 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 79 00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:13,716 # Comin' down in three-part harmony 80 00:05:15,528 --> 00:05:19,794 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 81 00:05:19,866 --> 00:05:22,994 # One I'm sure they wrote for you and me 82 00:05:24,838 --> 00:05:29,172 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 83 00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:32,234 # Comin' down in three-part harmony 84 00:05:34,114 --> 00:05:38,380 # That's just an old-fashioned love song 85 00:05:38,451 --> 00:05:41,443 # One I'm sure they wrote for you and me 86 00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:52,890 Bravo! Bravo! - Encore! Encore! 87 00:05:52,966 --> 00:05:56,925 Heh heh! He's a credit to his race, - What race is that? 88 00:05:57,003 --> 00:05:59,403 The 1 00-yard dash, 89 00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:05,375 Welcome to Muppet Labs, where the future is being made today, 90 00:06:05,445 --> 00:06:08,005 Folks, let me take just one moment of your time 91 00:06:08,081 --> 00:06:11,016 to acquaint you with a fascinating new product, 92 00:06:11,084 --> 00:06:13,712 It's Muppets AII-Purpose Tenderizer, 93 00:06:13,787 --> 00:06:16,517 Now, you can use it on all sorts of dishes, 94 00:06:16,589 --> 00:06:19,752 For example, dishes like this one here, 95 00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:26,030 Whoo, that's one of the problems with dishes, isn't it? They do tend to break, 96 00:06:26,099 --> 00:06:31,435 But if you had used AII-Purpose Tenderizer in such fashion as this... 97 00:06:32,439 --> 00:06:35,897 your dish would have been as tender as this, 98 00:06:38,244 --> 00:06:40,872 Oh, it sets me all aquiver! 99 00:06:41,881 --> 00:06:43,314 Well, it's lovely, 100 00:06:43,383 --> 00:06:47,786 And what it does for dishes it can do for utensils too, Watch, 101 00:06:50,323 --> 00:06:52,314 It only takes a second, 102 00:06:55,395 --> 00:06:58,626 So there it is, Muppets AII-Purpose Tenderizer, 103 00:06:58,698 --> 00:07:00,962 It's new from Muppet Labs, 104 00:07:03,536 --> 00:07:04,400 Oh, goodness, 105 00:07:04,471 --> 00:07:07,269 OK, who's the smarty-pants who tenderized the table? 106 00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:09,331 I mean it! 107 00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:14,779 Science, huh? They can put a man on the moon, 108 00:07:14,848 --> 00:07:18,750 Huh, Yeah, but they can't put a moon on a man! 109 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,080 "Silence," A poem by Rowlf, 110 00:07:24,057 --> 00:07:26,184 That's me, 111 00:07:26,259 --> 00:07:27,851 "Silence," 112 00:07:27,927 --> 00:07:29,952 "Hear the nothingness," 113 00:07:30,029 --> 00:07:31,997 "Listen to the quietness 114 00:07:32,065 --> 00:07:34,329 Of everlasting space," 115 00:07:35,335 --> 00:07:40,068 "Down the winding velvet corridors of time it sweeps, 116 00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:42,700 And sweeps and sw... " 117 00:07:48,214 --> 00:07:52,014 "And sweeps away the sound of creatures crying in the night... " 118 00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:59,715 ...creatures crying in the night... "And cry we must," 119 00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:02,819 "For we have tasted the forbidden fruit," 120 00:08:05,999 --> 00:08:09,696 "But lo, lo, the faceless names, name... " 121 00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:15,570 "... faceless names, nameless faces 122 00:08:15,642 --> 00:08:18,475 Whisper of our woes," 123 00:08:22,749 --> 00:08:25,047 "But over all... over all 124 00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:26,585 The blessed silence falls," 125 00:08:26,653 --> 00:08:28,553 "Sweet serpentines of silence 126 00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:31,055 Singing their sad song," 127 00:08:36,796 --> 00:08:38,787 "Out of the silence and dark 128 00:08:38,865 --> 00:08:41,561 We build the music, silent music," 129 00:08:46,439 --> 00:08:50,808 "And the endless emptiness of emptiness 130 00:08:50,877 --> 00:08:53,004 Drumming in our ears... " 131 00:08:59,519 --> 00:09:01,714 Will you all get outta here! 132 00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:12,023 "But in... in the end 133 00:09:12,098 --> 00:09:14,089 All is silence," 134 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:16,499 "Quiet, silent ways," 135 00:09:18,104 --> 00:09:19,969 "All still," 136 00:09:21,374 --> 00:09:24,775 Could you hold it down, Rowlf? We're trying to do a show here, 137 00:09:29,816 --> 00:09:32,284 You know, when they asked me to do the show, I was delighted, 138 00:09:32,352 --> 00:09:34,013 This is a great show to do, 139 00:09:34,087 --> 00:09:37,955 I have a speciaI reason for being very excited, You see... 140 00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:41,221 Except for me, the entire cast is Muppets, 141 00:09:41,294 --> 00:09:43,922 Muppets are little, tiny things, 142 00:09:43,997 --> 00:09:48,229 For the first time in my life, no one will make jokes about how short I am, 143 00:09:48,301 --> 00:09:53,933 For the first time in my life, I am the tallest person on the show, 144 00:09:57,911 --> 00:10:04,339 For the first time in my life, I will cry in front of 30 million people, 145 00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,445 I am a telephone pole, 146 00:10:09,522 --> 00:10:11,513 Hmmm... 147 00:10:12,959 --> 00:10:16,292 Fozzie, what are you doing? - It's my new act with Scooter, 148 00:10:16,362 --> 00:10:18,922 I'm practicing to be a telephone pole, 149 00:10:18,998 --> 00:10:20,590 Hmmm... 150 00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:24,296 That's ridiculous, You don't look like a telephone pole, 151 00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:27,737 No one would believe you were a telephone pole, 152 00:10:27,807 --> 00:10:31,402 # I am a lineman for the county... 153 00:10:34,514 --> 00:10:38,951 On the other hand, what do I know about telephone poles? 154 00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:51,722 Huh, I'll be darned, 155 00:10:51,798 --> 00:10:56,735 You say that's your boy? How could you have a son that age? 156 00:10:56,803 --> 00:11:00,330 I didn't, When I had him, he was just a baby, 157 00:11:04,177 --> 00:11:07,408 Oh, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways, 158 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,142 You are more beautifuI than the summer days, 159 00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:13,117 You know, there's a lot of ham in you, 160 00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:20,454 That man is annoying me, 161 00:11:20,526 --> 00:11:22,153 He isn't even looking at you, 162 00:11:22,228 --> 00:11:24,423 That's what's annoying me, 163 00:11:25,465 --> 00:11:30,095 I can't understand it! I just can't seem to hold on to a job! 164 00:11:30,169 --> 00:11:33,400 My last one only lasted for ten minutes! 165 00:11:33,473 --> 00:11:37,239 Yeah? What were you doing? - I was a librarian! 166 00:11:40,013 --> 00:11:42,345 Hey, you wanna take a trip? 167 00:11:42,415 --> 00:11:44,246 Sure, I'd love to, 168 00:11:44,317 --> 00:11:46,649 OK, hang on... 169 00:11:47,487 --> 00:11:49,478 Waaargh! - Aah! 170 00:11:53,593 --> 00:11:55,493 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp 171 00:11:55,561 --> 00:11:56,653 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit 172 00:11:56,729 --> 00:11:58,492 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp... 173 00:11:58,564 --> 00:11:59,496 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit... 174 00:11:59,565 --> 00:12:02,329 # I'm in love with a big blue frog 175 00:12:02,402 --> 00:12:05,064 # A big blue frog loves me 176 00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:07,902 # It's not as bad as it appears 177 00:12:07,974 --> 00:12:11,410 # He wears glasses and he's six foot three 178 00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:13,206 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp 179 00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:14,246 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit 180 00:12:14,313 --> 00:12:16,975 - # Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp... - # Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit... 181 00:12:17,050 --> 00:12:19,917 # Well, I'm not worried about our kids 182 00:12:19,986 --> 00:12:22,853 # I know they'll turn out neat 183 00:12:22,922 --> 00:12:25,891 # They'll be great-lookin' 'cause they'll have my face 184 00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:29,257 # Great swimmers 'cause they'll have his feet 185 00:12:29,328 --> 00:12:31,125 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp 186 00:12:31,197 --> 00:12:32,186 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit 187 00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:34,825 - # Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp... - # Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit... 188 00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:38,029 # Well, I know we can make things work 189 00:12:38,104 --> 00:12:40,732 # He's got good family sense 190 00:12:40,807 --> 00:12:43,674 # His mother was a frog in Philadelphia 191 00:12:43,743 --> 00:12:46,940 # His daddy an enchanted prince 192 00:12:47,013 --> 00:12:48,446 # Gwamp-gwamp 193 00:12:48,514 --> 00:12:49,811 - # Gwamp-gwamp - # Gribbit-gribbit 194 00:12:49,982 --> 00:12:51,313 - # Gwamp-gwamp - # Gribbit-gribbit 195 00:12:51,484 --> 00:12:52,815 - # Gwamp-gwamp - # Gribbit-gribbit 196 00:12:52,985 --> 00:12:54,247 - # Gwamp-gwamp - # Gribbit-gribbit 197 00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:55,751 - # Gwamp-gwamp - # Gribbit-gribbit 198 00:12:55,822 --> 00:12:57,517 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp 199 00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:58,614 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit 200 00:12:58,724 --> 00:13:00,453 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp 201 00:13:00,526 --> 00:13:01,584 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit 202 00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:04,255 - # Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp... - # Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit... 203 00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:07,163 # The neighbors are against it and it's clear to me 204 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:10,100 # And it's probably clear to you 205 00:13:10,169 --> 00:13:13,070 # They think values on their property will go right down 206 00:13:13,139 --> 00:13:16,438 # If the family next door is blue 207 00:13:16,509 --> 00:13:18,306 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp 208 00:13:18,377 --> 00:13:19,435 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit 209 00:13:19,512 --> 00:13:22,072 - # Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp... - # Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit... 210 00:13:22,148 --> 00:13:25,242 # Well, I'm in love with a big blue frog 211 00:13:25,318 --> 00:13:27,980 # A big blue frog loves me 212 00:13:28,054 --> 00:13:30,921 # But it's better than the beau I had last year 213 00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,356 # When I loved a little bumble bee 214 00:13:33,426 --> 00:13:34,290 # Oh yeah 215 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:40,788 # Loved a bumble bee 216 00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:41,458 # Gwamp 217 00:13:41,634 --> 00:13:42,259 # Gwamp 218 00:13:42,335 --> 00:13:43,666 # Gribbit-gribbit 219 00:13:46,572 --> 00:13:48,130 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp... 220 00:13:48,207 --> 00:13:49,640 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit, 221 00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:50,835 Gwamp-gwamp-gwamp-gwamp... 222 00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,105 Gribbit-gribbit-gribbit, 223 00:13:53,646 --> 00:13:55,910 Well, PauI, listen, Listen, PauI, 224 00:13:55,982 --> 00:13:58,746 I just want to say what a reaI thrill it is to have you on the show, 225 00:13:58,818 --> 00:14:00,718 That's very kind of you, Kermit, thank you, 226 00:14:00,786 --> 00:14:03,653 And you know what? You're not gonna hear any jokes about your being little-bitty 227 00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:06,055 and small and cute and all that sort of thing, like you are, 228 00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,615 You're not gonna hear that coming from me, 229 00:14:07,693 --> 00:14:08,921 You promise? - No, 230 00:14:08,995 --> 00:14:11,259 Us little guys gotta stick together, - Oh, yeah, Listen... 231 00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:14,629 And besides that, there have been a lot of famous people who were small in size, 232 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,895 That's true, - Sure, like Napoleon, 233 00:14:16,969 --> 00:14:20,336 Uh... Truman Capote? - Uh... Mickey Rooney, 234 00:14:20,406 --> 00:14:21,464 Tom Thumb, 235 00:14:21,541 --> 00:14:24,066 Not to mention the legendary Wally Blatner, 236 00:14:24,143 --> 00:14:28,443 Wally Blatner, a famous... Who is Wally Blatner? 237 00:14:28,514 --> 00:14:31,074 Well, he invented the elevator shoe, 238 00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:34,779 The elevator... really? Lifts, right? - Right, right, 239 00:14:34,854 --> 00:14:36,481 Whatever happened to old Wally? 240 00:14:36,556 --> 00:14:41,391 Well, one day somebody pressed his down button and he was never seen again, 241 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:44,861 Down button? Oh, I get it, you mean he...? 242 00:14:47,233 --> 00:14:50,031 That's terrible, - Yeah, if you think that was terrible, 243 00:14:50,102 --> 00:14:53,560 what about the 1 2 people who were riding with him? 244 00:14:53,639 --> 00:14:56,199 That's a ludicrous story, 245 00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:58,903 I mean, even told by a frog, that's ridiculous, 246 00:14:58,978 --> 00:15:01,970 Really? Hey, do you wear lifts? 247 00:15:02,048 --> 00:15:04,016 Sometimes, yeah, - Oh, yeah? 248 00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:06,074 Going up! 249 00:15:10,256 --> 00:15:13,885 Now PauI is someone everybody can look up to, 250 00:15:15,628 --> 00:15:19,325 I am a telephone pole, I am made of solid wood, 251 00:15:19,498 --> 00:15:23,594 I am a telephone pole, I am made of solid wood, 252 00:15:27,373 --> 00:15:30,274 I am too talented for my own good, 253 00:15:31,544 --> 00:15:33,535 Will you please...? 254 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,443 Yes, ma'am, you're confirmed, Two tickets to New York City, Thank you, 255 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,185 Hello, - Hello, 256 00:15:42,255 --> 00:15:43,950 I want to go to Pittsburgh, 257 00:15:44,023 --> 00:15:49,051 I can send you to Pittsburgh first class on a supersonic jet for $ 7 64, 258 00:15:49,128 --> 00:15:50,823 You got anything cheaper? 259 00:15:50,896 --> 00:15:54,832 I can send you to Pittsburgh coach class on a subsonic jet for 51 1, 260 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,130 You got anything cheaper? 261 00:15:57,203 --> 00:16:02,072 I can send you to Pittsburgh excursion economy in an old prop job for about 398, 262 00:16:02,141 --> 00:16:04,837 You got anything cheaper? 263 00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:07,105 Yeah, I could send you to Pittsburgh standing-room only 264 00:16:07,179 --> 00:16:10,512 on a broken-down old bus for about 75 bucks, 265 00:16:10,583 --> 00:16:13,177 You got anything cheaper? 266 00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:17,450 Yeah, I think I can work something out for you, paI, 267 00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:32,965 Hey, Charlie, you wanna maiI this to Pittsburgh? 268 00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:41,308 My mother is very religious, 269 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:44,577 She's a fanatic? - No, she's a church, 270 00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:51,553 And here they are now, my kind of people, 271 00:16:51,624 --> 00:16:54,058 Wayne and Wanda! 272 00:16:58,597 --> 00:17:02,863 # You do 273 00:17:02,935 --> 00:17:06,200 # Something to me 274 00:17:06,272 --> 00:17:08,502 Oww! Ow! 275 00:17:08,574 --> 00:17:10,701 Here's a Muppet news flash, 276 00:17:10,776 --> 00:17:14,940 Arnold Stockman, a retired shoe salesman, recently had a most unusuaI experience 277 00:17:15,014 --> 00:17:19,474 and we at Muppet News centraI feeI it is a story that should be shared with everyone, 278 00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:24,717 Here in his own words is Mr, Stockman to tell you of this bizarre event, 279 00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:29,750 Well, it was about a week ago and I was sitting at home watching television. 280 00:17:29,829 --> 00:17:32,320 It must have been about nine o'clock. - Mm-hm? 281 00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:34,389 Suddenly the phone rang. 282 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:38,198 Well, I picked it up, but there wasn't anybody there. 283 00:17:38,270 --> 00:17:43,640 So I hung up, and then I went back to watching the television. 284 00:17:43,709 --> 00:17:45,700 Darnedest thing. 285 00:17:48,381 --> 00:17:53,580 Whenever unusuaI events occur, you'll hear it first on Muppet News, 286 00:17:54,653 --> 00:17:56,450 Boy, my uncle will be really interested in this, 287 00:17:56,522 --> 00:17:58,649 That's private business here, Scooter, - Sorry, 288 00:17:58,724 --> 00:18:01,818 And, by the way, you guys are really gonna do the old telephone pole bit? 289 00:18:01,894 --> 00:18:03,885 That's right, chief, 290 00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:06,261 Lots of luck, 291 00:18:06,332 --> 00:18:08,766 Scooter, I won't do it, - What? 292 00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:12,770 I just found out what the telephone pole bit is and I will not do it! 293 00:18:12,838 --> 00:18:17,707 Oh, come on... Fozzie, come on, we're on now, Besides, we'll be terrific! 294 00:18:17,777 --> 00:18:21,440 Scooter, we will not be terrific, We will die out there, Die! 295 00:18:21,514 --> 00:18:26,884 Of course we're not gonna die, What makes you think we're gonna die? 296 00:18:26,952 --> 00:18:29,011 Just a hunch, 297 00:18:32,057 --> 00:18:35,788 Folks, we got a little something different for you tonight in the old comedy spot, 298 00:18:35,861 --> 00:18:39,319 Our own Fozzie Bear is being joined by our gofer Scooter, 299 00:18:39,398 --> 00:18:44,802 and here they are doing that classic comedy sketch, the telephone pole bit! 300 00:18:46,806 --> 00:18:49,866 Hello, and what's your name? 301 00:18:49,942 --> 00:18:52,137 Mike Oznowiczsky, 302 00:18:52,211 --> 00:18:56,204 Oh, so you're the telephone Pole! 303 00:19:00,186 --> 00:19:03,678 Huh, Good old Fozzie, He's never been better, 304 00:19:03,756 --> 00:19:06,452 Or shorter, - Same difference, 305 00:19:26,479 --> 00:19:28,413 # That's a sad song 306 00:19:28,481 --> 00:19:31,075 # That used to be our song 307 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:34,278 # The one you just played 308 00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:38,915 # I wonder if I'd stayed 309 00:19:38,991 --> 00:19:41,459 # What we'd be doin' now 310 00:19:43,462 --> 00:19:47,956 # Yeah, but part of bein' people 311 00:19:48,033 --> 00:19:51,434 # Is an ever-changing mind 312 00:19:52,438 --> 00:19:56,738 # We don't mean to be unkind 313 00:19:56,809 --> 00:19:59,073 # We just grow 314 00:20:00,679 --> 00:20:02,670 # That's a sad song 315 00:20:02,748 --> 00:20:05,308 # That used to be our song 316 00:20:05,384 --> 00:20:09,753 # And oh, she sang it too 317 00:20:09,822 --> 00:20:13,189 # And every word rang true 318 00:20:13,259 --> 00:20:16,194 # Like a bell somehow 319 00:20:17,863 --> 00:20:22,391 # When I ran off chasing visions 320 00:20:22,468 --> 00:20:26,700 # My emotions made me blind 321 00:20:26,772 --> 00:20:30,708 # Like a fooI I left behind 322 00:20:30,776 --> 00:20:33,939 # An angeI's glow 323 00:20:35,347 --> 00:20:39,784 # So play it one more time 324 00:20:39,852 --> 00:20:43,948 # That sympathy in rhyme 325 00:20:44,023 --> 00:20:48,153 # Let those old familiar feelings 326 00:20:48,227 --> 00:20:51,492 # Start to show 327 00:20:52,498 --> 00:20:56,798 # Come and sing my favorite phrase 328 00:20:56,869 --> 00:21:00,737 # Oh, from those good old days 329 00:21:00,806 --> 00:21:08,178 # Let those tears and sweet memories flow 330 00:21:09,949 --> 00:21:13,612 # Play it one more time 331 00:21:13,686 --> 00:21:17,952 # Whoa, sympathy in rhyme 332 00:21:18,023 --> 00:21:21,891 # And old familiar feelings 333 00:21:21,961 --> 00:21:24,361 # Start to show 334 00:21:24,430 --> 00:21:26,489 # Let 'em show 335 00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:30,057 # Come and sing my favorite phrase 336 00:21:31,203 --> 00:21:34,536 # From those good old days 337 00:21:34,607 --> 00:21:41,638 # Let those tears and sweet memories flow 338 00:21:42,715 --> 00:21:52,556 # Let those tears and sweet memories flow 339 00:22:05,037 --> 00:22:06,504 Well, that's about the end of the show, folks, 340 00:22:06,572 --> 00:22:10,906 We'd like to thank our speciaI guest star, Mr, PauI Williams! 341 00:22:10,976 --> 00:22:16,278 Thank you, thank you, I've loved every minute of it, little guy, 342 00:22:19,151 --> 00:22:22,882 Except, of course, for the parts that I hated, 343 00:22:22,955 --> 00:22:24,183 I'm sorry about that, PauI, 344 00:22:24,256 --> 00:22:28,283 But we'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show! 345 00:23:05,597 --> 00:23:10,034 This show is good for what ails me, - Yeah? Well, what ails you? 346 00:23:10,102 --> 00:23:11,899 Insomnia,