1 00:00:11,091 --> 00:00:16,654 It's The Muppet Show, with our speciaI guest star, Mr, Peter Ustinov, 2 00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:26,996 # It's time to play the music 3 00:00:27,074 --> 00:00:29,065 # It's time to light the lights 4 00:00:29,142 --> 00:00:32,634 # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight 5 00:00:33,313 --> 00:00:35,281 # It's time to put on makeup 6 00:00:35,349 --> 00:00:37,374 # It's time to dress up right 7 00:00:37,451 --> 00:00:40,784 # It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight 8 00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:46,520 Hey, the little problems in life drive me crazy, 9 00:00:46,593 --> 00:00:49,460 Like, what do you send to a sick florist? 10 00:00:49,529 --> 00:00:50,860 Huh? Huh? 11 00:00:50,931 --> 00:00:52,865 # To introduce our guest star 12 00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:54,730 # That's what I'm here to do 13 00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:57,065 # So it really makes me happy 14 00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:59,196 # To introduce to you 15 00:00:59,272 --> 00:01:00,967 Mr, Peter Ustinov, 16 00:01:08,081 --> 00:01:11,744 # But now let's get things started on the most sensationaI, inspirationaI 17 00:01:11,818 --> 00:01:13,911 # CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI 18 00:01:13,987 --> 00:01:16,512 # This is what we call 19 00:01:16,590 --> 00:01:20,993 # The Muppet Show 20 00:01:29,536 --> 00:01:31,163 Thank you, thank you, And hello, dear friends, 21 00:01:31,238 --> 00:01:35,504 and welcome to this potpourri of mirth and madness we call The Muppet Show. 22 00:01:35,575 --> 00:01:37,600 Hey, we're especially excited around here tonight 23 00:01:37,677 --> 00:01:40,908 because our guest star is Mr, Peter Ustinov, 24 00:01:40,981 --> 00:01:44,610 He is a man for all seasons, an actor, a director, a writer, 25 00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:47,653 plus being a great raconteur, 26 00:01:47,721 --> 00:01:50,781 That's... that's French for "tennis player," 27 00:01:50,857 --> 00:01:52,154 I think, 28 00:01:52,225 --> 00:01:54,193 Anyway, we're also fortunate in having with us 29 00:01:54,261 --> 00:01:58,254 an offshoot of the world famous Boston Pops Orchestra, 30 00:01:58,331 --> 00:02:01,698 just the wind section, but I think it's gonna be a thrill for us all 31 00:02:01,768 --> 00:02:04,669 so let's open the show with an evening at the Pops, 32 00:02:45,278 --> 00:02:49,044 Mm, Well, they say, "Music hath charm to soothe a savage beast," 33 00:02:49,115 --> 00:02:51,709 Mm, 34 00:02:53,787 --> 00:02:56,654 Such is not the case here, however, 35 00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:01,825 Get him, Get him, 36 00:03:03,363 --> 00:03:04,853 OK, OK, Good bit, Good bit, 37 00:03:04,931 --> 00:03:07,126 Good ending, Sorry about the head, 38 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,929 Oh, Kermit, 39 00:03:09,002 --> 00:03:12,995 Oh, my heart, It's going pitter-patter, pitter-patter, 40 00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:15,735 Yeah, well, maybe you've had too much coffee, 41 00:03:15,809 --> 00:03:16,867 No, 42 00:03:16,943 --> 00:03:21,710 It's going pitter-patter over the man I've admired and loved for years, 43 00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:26,480 And now, to be this close to him... - Uh, Piggy, I've told you, 44 00:03:26,553 --> 00:03:30,922 I don't have any time in my life for any emotionaI involvement right now, 45 00:03:30,991 --> 00:03:31,821 No, 46 00:03:31,892 --> 00:03:35,885 I'm talking about Peter Ustinov, 47 00:03:35,962 --> 00:03:38,590 Oh, Well, Oh, 48 00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:42,499 He is a Renaissance man, 49 00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:43,365 Oh, 50 00:03:43,436 --> 00:03:46,564 Well, I am a leg man, 51 00:03:48,141 --> 00:03:51,975 Oops, It's time now to introduce your new heartthrob, 52 00:03:52,045 --> 00:03:53,342 Mm-hm, - Yeah, 53 00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:57,247 Jealousy, thy name is frog! 54 00:03:59,853 --> 00:04:02,151 OK, Right now, friends, I'd like you to meet our guest star, 55 00:04:02,222 --> 00:04:05,214 the one and only Mr, Peter Ustinov, 56 00:04:08,828 --> 00:04:12,389 Well, Kermit, you know, it's a pleasure for me to be with you tonight, 57 00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:16,333 It's my first experience in performing with, uh... 58 00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:18,928 ...performers other than people, if you follow me, 59 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:21,701 Oh, Oh, yeah, well, it takes some getting used to, I guess, 60 00:04:21,775 --> 00:04:25,108 but we've worked with humans before so just relax, take it easy 61 00:04:25,178 --> 00:04:27,612 and don't sit on any of your fellow performers, 62 00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:30,912 I'll try not to, but I was going to sit down on my dressing-room chair, you know, 63 00:04:30,984 --> 00:04:32,781 and it walked away, 64 00:04:32,852 --> 00:04:37,585 Oh, well, that was a Muppet, See, that chair is married to the show's writer, 65 00:04:37,657 --> 00:04:39,887 Who's the writer? - The hatrack, 66 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,861 This show was written by a hatrack? - Mm, 67 00:04:42,929 --> 00:04:44,260 Oh, well, uh... 68 00:04:44,331 --> 00:04:47,300 That's most extraordinary, - Well, you see, anything can be a Muppet, 69 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:50,302 In fact, in this next sketch, you are going to be a Muppet, 70 00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,702 I'm going to be a Muppet? - Mm-hm, 71 00:04:52,772 --> 00:04:56,469 Trust me, Just stand by for a big show-biz-style introduction, OK? 72 00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:58,306 Oh, delightfuI, 73 00:04:58,378 --> 00:05:00,437 A hatrack, - Mm-hm, 74 00:05:00,513 --> 00:05:02,504 Incredible, 75 00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:04,908 Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness 76 00:05:04,985 --> 00:05:06,577 one of the wonders of modern science 77 00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:09,486 as envisioned by the incredible Mr, Peter Ustinov, 78 00:05:09,556 --> 00:05:12,081 We take you now to Muppet Labs, 79 00:05:14,361 --> 00:05:18,388 Hello, I'm Doctor Bunsen Honeydew, and here at Muppet Labs 80 00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:21,832 we think we have finally made a major scientific breakthrough 81 00:05:21,901 --> 00:05:24,870 in the field of internationaI statesmanship, 82 00:05:24,938 --> 00:05:27,338 So, it is with incalculable pride 83 00:05:27,407 --> 00:05:30,899 that I give you the new robot politician, 84 00:05:33,146 --> 00:05:37,606 Yes, this electronic politician will end corruption in government forever, 85 00:05:37,684 --> 00:05:40,983 And, furthermore, it is absolutely internationaI, 86 00:05:41,054 --> 00:05:45,423 For instance, the robot politician would make an excellent British prime minister, 87 00:05:45,492 --> 00:05:47,790 Watch, 88 00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:56,526 Although the skies are dark 89 00:05:56,603 --> 00:06:00,437 and the road ahead is steep, 90 00:06:00,507 --> 00:06:02,975 yet with perseverance, 91 00:06:03,043 --> 00:06:05,238 we can, nay, 92 00:06:05,311 --> 00:06:09,145 we shall prevaiI, 93 00:06:09,215 --> 00:06:10,773 PrevaiI, 94 00:06:11,017 --> 00:06:14,180 PrevaiI, - Uh... Thank you, 95 00:06:14,254 --> 00:06:18,987 And on the other hand, with equaI ease, he could be an American president, 96 00:06:20,627 --> 00:06:23,118 And I tell you, my friends, 97 00:06:23,196 --> 00:06:26,188 this is the greatest country in the world, 98 00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,757 Stands ready to forge ahead, 99 00:06:28,835 --> 00:06:31,030 bring peace to the world, 100 00:06:31,104 --> 00:06:34,733 affluence to all nations, 101 00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:37,743 Yes, well, enough of that, 102 00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:41,269 How about a Russian premier? 103 00:06:41,347 --> 00:06:45,181 The Russian people will not rub the SALT agreement 104 00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:47,344 into the wounds, 105 00:06:49,222 --> 00:06:51,816 Well, that's good, 106 00:06:51,891 --> 00:06:54,382 Uh... 107 00:06:56,529 --> 00:06:58,929 Come on, 108 00:06:58,998 --> 00:07:00,795 The People's Republic of China 109 00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:05,531 objects to the running-dog tone of this most... 110 00:07:05,605 --> 00:07:08,870 The Middle East bloc must stand firm in the belief... 111 00:07:12,212 --> 00:07:14,373 La France eternelle, 112 00:07:14,447 --> 00:07:17,746 plus grande que... 113 00:07:17,817 --> 00:07:21,446 Italiano... Non posso piu, che... 114 00:07:21,521 --> 00:07:24,456 Das deutsche Volk muss unter allen Umstanden... 115 00:07:24,524 --> 00:07:26,219 This means war! 116 00:07:31,898 --> 00:07:34,662 Well, back to the drawing board, 117 00:07:34,734 --> 00:07:36,099 Mr, Ustinov? 118 00:07:36,169 --> 00:07:39,104 A masterfuI performance, - Mm, 119 00:07:39,172 --> 00:07:42,403 Reminiscent of the late Rudolph Besser, 120 00:07:42,475 --> 00:07:44,033 Rudolph Besser is dead? 121 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,738 No, he's late, He was supposed to be here at... 122 00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:49,680 Statler, you always get me with that same dumb joke, 123 00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:54,243 Well, maybe it's not the joke that's dumb, if you catch my drift? 124 00:07:56,389 --> 00:07:57,321 Uh... 125 00:07:57,924 --> 00:08:00,324 Oh, where is he? Where is that tower of talent? 126 00:08:00,393 --> 00:08:03,920 Fozzie, are you looking for me? - No, I'm looking for Peter Ustinov, 127 00:08:03,997 --> 00:08:06,557 Oh, Well, after that last sketch he ended up in the dressing room, 128 00:08:06,633 --> 00:08:09,727 where he's going over his lines, - Oh, 129 00:08:09,803 --> 00:08:12,533 The actor prepares, - Yep, 130 00:08:12,605 --> 00:08:14,402 Oh, Oh, I tell you, Kermit, 131 00:08:14,474 --> 00:08:19,468 appearing in a sketch with Peter Ustinov is the highlight of my career, 132 00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:21,741 I thought you said last week that appearing with me in a sketch 133 00:08:21,815 --> 00:08:24,682 was the highlight of your career, 134 00:08:25,585 --> 00:08:27,815 I was wrong, 135 00:08:28,822 --> 00:08:33,850 How can you compare yourself to... him? 136 00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:35,121 Uh... 137 00:08:35,195 --> 00:08:39,529 Easy, He puts on his pants just like me, one leg at a time, 138 00:08:39,599 --> 00:08:42,067 You don't wear any pants, - Uh... 139 00:08:42,135 --> 00:08:46,128 OK, There you are, let's see him get away with that on television, 140 00:08:56,416 --> 00:08:59,579 Say, did you ever fall in love with a guy at first sight? 141 00:08:59,652 --> 00:09:00,983 Mm-hm, 142 00:09:01,054 --> 00:09:03,716 But it always took a while, 143 00:09:07,093 --> 00:09:10,859 You know, just once, I'd like to stand next to Queen Elizabeth, 144 00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:13,990 I'd rather sit in with Count Basie, 145 00:09:19,072 --> 00:09:23,941 I find that most people don't believe what other people tell them, 146 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:24,874 Uh... 147 00:09:24,944 --> 00:09:27,435 I don't think that's true, 148 00:09:32,385 --> 00:09:35,218 Hey, you wanna stop by the punch bowI? 149 00:09:35,288 --> 00:09:38,086 Why do they call it a punch bowI? 150 00:09:41,261 --> 00:09:43,252 That's why, 151 00:09:45,064 --> 00:09:46,554 And now, 152 00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:50,160 in my never-ending struggle to uplift these proceedings, 153 00:09:50,236 --> 00:09:52,864 here are two distinguished professors, 154 00:09:52,939 --> 00:09:56,102 Doctors Arnold Nood and Frederick Nik, 155 00:09:56,175 --> 00:10:00,578 to discuss post-Dickensian economics, 156 00:10:03,716 --> 00:10:06,082 OK, OK, OK, Tell them the story, 157 00:10:06,152 --> 00:10:08,279 Yeah, sure, Give me a break, will you? - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, 158 00:10:08,354 --> 00:10:10,413 OK, I'll give you a break, 159 00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:13,118 To best explain post-Die-kensan... 160 00:10:13,192 --> 00:10:14,420 Whatever, - Whatever, 161 00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:17,861 ...economics, let me tell you a little story, 162 00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:20,229 Yeah, tell them the story, - I'm trying, 163 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,325 I am trying to tell them the story, 164 00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:24,393 Shh, 165 00:10:26,806 --> 00:10:30,264 Once upon a time there was a man named Benny, 166 00:10:30,343 --> 00:10:32,868 What else? - What else? 167 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:36,171 Who was visited by his fairy godmother, 168 00:10:36,249 --> 00:10:38,342 Fairy godmother, - Fairy godmother, 169 00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:39,976 Yeah! 170 00:10:40,053 --> 00:10:42,988 Now, Benny's fairy godmother 171 00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:48,754 promised him that he would live forever under one condition, see? 172 00:10:48,828 --> 00:10:52,127 That he never never shave again, - Never shave, 173 00:10:52,198 --> 00:10:54,063 Isn't that some condition? - Ah, 174 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:56,465 Now, Benny never shaved after that, 175 00:10:56,536 --> 00:10:58,231 And you know what? - What? What? What? 176 00:10:58,304 --> 00:11:02,365 He lived to be 1 75 years old, 177 00:11:02,442 --> 00:11:04,433 No, 178 00:11:06,079 --> 00:11:08,980 Now, one day Benny met a beautifuI girI, - Oh, 179 00:11:09,048 --> 00:11:10,743 It happens to anyone, - Yeah, 180 00:11:10,817 --> 00:11:13,615 And he fell in what? - Love? 181 00:11:13,686 --> 00:11:15,551 Yeah, He's very bright, - Love, 182 00:11:15,621 --> 00:11:16,883 Ain't it wonderfuI? - Oh! 183 00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:21,017 And the beautifuI girI asked Benny to shave his beard off, 184 00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:23,494 And when the fairy godmother heard... - Oh, yeah, yeah? 185 00:11:23,563 --> 00:11:25,758 - ... that Benny had shaved... - Yeah, yeah, yeah? 186 00:11:25,832 --> 00:11:30,667 - ... why, she got that mad... - Mad, 187 00:11:30,737 --> 00:11:32,728 ...she turned... 188 00:11:32,805 --> 00:11:37,538 - ... she turned Benny into a Grecian urn, - Yeah, Yeah, 189 00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:40,408 And that only goes to prove 190 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,914 the economic theory... 191 00:11:42,982 --> 00:11:44,779 A Benny shaved 192 00:11:44,851 --> 00:11:47,752 is a Benny urned, 193 00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,417 I love it! 194 00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:04,832 # It's lonely out tonight 195 00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:08,135 # And the feeling just got right 196 00:12:08,207 --> 00:12:12,473 # For a brand new love song 197 00:12:12,545 --> 00:12:18,780 # Somebody-done-somebody-wrong song 198 00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:19,909 OK, everybody, 199 00:12:19,986 --> 00:12:22,454 # Hey, won't you play 200 00:12:22,522 --> 00:12:28,620 # Another somebody-done- somebody-wrong song 201 00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:31,026 # And make me feeI at home 202 00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:33,759 # While I miss my baby 203 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:37,968 # While I miss my baby 204 00:12:38,037 --> 00:12:40,938 # So play, play for me 205 00:12:41,007 --> 00:12:43,908 # A sad melody 206 00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:49,972 # So sad that it makes everybody cry 207 00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:52,677 # A reaI hurting song 208 00:12:52,752 --> 00:12:56,210 # About a love that's gone wrong 209 00:12:56,289 --> 00:13:01,784 # Because I don't want to cry all alone 210 00:13:02,628 --> 00:13:04,994 # Hey, won't you play 211 00:13:05,064 --> 00:13:11,025 # Another somebody-done- somebody-wrong song 212 00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:13,504 # And make me feeI at home 213 00:13:13,573 --> 00:13:16,235 # While I miss my baby 214 00:13:16,476 --> 00:13:18,740 # While I miss my baby 215 00:13:18,811 --> 00:13:20,676 Up a key! 216 00:13:20,746 --> 00:13:23,180 # Hey, won't you play 217 00:13:23,249 --> 00:13:29,154 # Another somebody-done- somebody-wrong song 218 00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:31,554 # And make me feeI at home 219 00:13:31,624 --> 00:13:34,593 # While I miss my baby 220 00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:41,960 # While I miss my baby 221 00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:44,867 Oh, I miss Kermit so, Oh! 222 00:13:56,215 --> 00:14:00,618 Oh, Kermit, that Peter Ustinov is wonderfuI, 223 00:14:00,686 --> 00:14:03,519 Yeah, He is quite a talented fellow, isn't he? 224 00:14:03,589 --> 00:14:07,457 So appreciative, so observant, 225 00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:10,519 The frog observes, The frog appreciates, 226 00:14:10,596 --> 00:14:15,431 I had just gone in to give him his costume and he looked at me, and he said: 227 00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:21,462 "Hilda, you have the most exquisite hemstitch," 228 00:14:21,541 --> 00:14:23,634 Is that so? 229 00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:29,443 Imagine a big star like that noticing an old costume lady like me, 230 00:14:29,515 --> 00:14:30,675 Now, Hilda, you know, 231 00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:34,914 I have many times noted that your craftsmanship as a seamstress is superb, 232 00:14:34,987 --> 00:14:38,718 It is, in fact, flawless, and you are a wonder, 233 00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:42,722 So? What does a frog know? 234 00:14:44,564 --> 00:14:48,227 Somehow I feeI my charisma's slipping away, 235 00:14:55,841 --> 00:15:01,040 # You do something to me 236 00:15:01,781 --> 00:15:06,741 # Something that simply mystifies me 237 00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:12,280 # Tell me why should it be 238 00:15:12,825 --> 00:15:17,524 # You have the power to hypnotize me? 239 00:15:18,464 --> 00:15:23,731 # Let me live 'neath your spell 240 00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:28,797 # Do do that voodoo that you do so well 241 00:15:28,874 --> 00:15:33,937 # For you do something to me 242 00:15:34,513 --> 00:15:37,710 # That nobody else could 243 00:15:38,184 --> 00:15:40,243 # Nobody else could 244 00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:43,146 # Nobody else could 245 00:15:43,456 --> 00:15:46,016 # Nobody else could 246 00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:51,795 Oh, finally, I thought you'd never get me back to myself again, 247 00:15:51,864 --> 00:15:59,999 # Nobody else could do 248 00:16:04,977 --> 00:16:08,208 Here's a Muppet news flash, 249 00:16:08,281 --> 00:16:09,646 Copenhagen, Denmark, 250 00:16:09,715 --> 00:16:13,811 Dr, Felix Oglebomb says that after 30 years concentrated research 251 00:16:13,886 --> 00:16:16,684 he has discovered the cure for the common cold, 252 00:16:16,756 --> 00:16:19,486 Our Muppet cameras are on the scene and we'll speak with Dr, Oglebomb 253 00:16:19,558 --> 00:16:22,721 about this great medicaI breakthrough, Dr, Oglebomb, 254 00:16:22,795 --> 00:16:27,198 Yeah, Yeah, I am Felix Oglebomb in Copenhagen, Denmark, 255 00:16:27,266 --> 00:16:29,700 Yes, Dr, Oglebomb, Can you tell us about this cure? 256 00:16:29,769 --> 00:16:33,500 Yeah, of course, It was right under our noses, do you believe that? 257 00:16:33,572 --> 00:16:35,472 I'm so excited, 258 00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:39,637 First, you stay away from sick people, That's very important, 259 00:16:39,712 --> 00:16:44,513 Then you wrap your head in a number-ten-sized brown paper bag 260 00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:47,143 and you pour honey over yourself 261 00:16:47,219 --> 00:16:51,519 and you hold your breath for about an hour or so, eh? 262 00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:54,024 And this will cure the common cold? 263 00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:55,117 Positively, 264 00:16:58,731 --> 00:17:01,700 And then again... 265 00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:04,531 Yes, well, thank you very much, Dr, Oglebomb, 266 00:17:04,603 --> 00:17:07,071 Remember, friends, whenever big news breaks, 267 00:17:07,139 --> 00:17:10,074 you certainly won't hear it here, 268 00:17:11,911 --> 00:17:13,970 Oh, 269 00:17:14,046 --> 00:17:16,640 Once again it's inspiration time, 270 00:17:16,716 --> 00:17:19,184 And, goodness knows, we need some, 271 00:17:19,251 --> 00:17:22,482 So here they are, Wayne and Wanda, 272 00:17:22,555 --> 00:17:28,050 # The falling leaves 273 00:17:28,127 --> 00:17:31,221 # Drift by the... 274 00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:45,067 Friends, once again it's time to raise the intellectuaI leveI of our program 275 00:17:45,144 --> 00:17:50,480 as our paneI discusses a topic of concern to thinking people everywhere - psychiatry, 276 00:17:50,549 --> 00:17:53,347 And tonight's paneI includes our own Miss Piggy, 277 00:17:53,419 --> 00:17:54,818 Kissy kissy, 278 00:17:54,887 --> 00:17:58,220 Cynthia Birdley, - Enchantee. 279 00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:02,590 And our own speciaI guest is Dr, Kurt Von Frong who is a practicing psychiatrist, 280 00:18:02,661 --> 00:18:05,425 Hello, Mummy, 281 00:18:06,165 --> 00:18:09,498 So, you are a practicing psychiatrist, Doctor? 282 00:18:09,568 --> 00:18:10,535 Yeah, yeah, yeah, - Mmm, 283 00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:12,400 How long you been practicing? - Oh... 284 00:18:12,471 --> 00:18:14,632 - 35 years, - Oh, 285 00:18:14,707 --> 00:18:18,609 Isn't it time you stopped practicing and got on with it? 286 00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:23,376 Cynthia, please, Don't be ridiculous, - No, no, no, Mr, Frog, It's all right, 287 00:18:23,449 --> 00:18:26,714 Misunderstandings about psychiatry are common, 288 00:18:26,786 --> 00:18:31,382 You see, basically, it is a tooI to help us deaI with frustrations, 289 00:18:31,457 --> 00:18:36,224 Otherwise we develop problems that result where? In complexes, 290 00:18:36,295 --> 00:18:40,891 Oh, I know, My mother lives in one, - Yeah, One what? 291 00:18:40,966 --> 00:18:44,697 A complex, She lives downstairs, the Murphys live upstairs... 292 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:47,330 You should hear them fighting all day... - Cynthia, Cynthia, no, no, no, no, no, 293 00:18:47,406 --> 00:18:51,137 The doctor's talking about psychiatry, - Don't... don't concern yourself, 294 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:53,269 "The Murphys," 295 00:18:53,345 --> 00:18:55,870 Psychiatry has its own jargon, 296 00:18:55,948 --> 00:19:00,351 and only when you know the meaning of the various terms 297 00:19:00,419 --> 00:19:03,013 can you begin to understand, 298 00:19:03,088 --> 00:19:07,286 Terms like complex, sublimation, regression, 299 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:08,656 Gestalt! 300 00:19:08,727 --> 00:19:11,025 Gesundheit, 301 00:19:11,096 --> 00:19:13,223 Gestalt, not gesundheit, 302 00:19:13,299 --> 00:19:16,530 Yeah, yeah, girls, Now, now, now, see, the doctor's talking about psychologicaI terms, 303 00:19:16,602 --> 00:19:19,435 Yes, yes, Correct, Now, Mr, Kermit, 304 00:19:19,505 --> 00:19:24,374 when it was first used, you see, by Sigmund... 305 00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:26,843 ...the father of psychiatry, 306 00:19:26,912 --> 00:19:29,244 he was the first in his field, 307 00:19:29,315 --> 00:19:33,251 Of course, he didn't get any good at it untiI he got an office 308 00:19:33,319 --> 00:19:36,379 and he got out of that field, 309 00:19:38,657 --> 00:19:43,026 That's a trade joke, - Well, you'd better trade it for another one, 310 00:19:43,462 --> 00:19:46,124 Cynthia, come on now, don't be embarrassing the doctor here, 311 00:19:46,198 --> 00:19:49,361 It's all right, Mr, Kermit Frog, - Right, 312 00:19:49,435 --> 00:19:55,465 A good psychiatrist learns to find the proper way to handle any situation, 313 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:59,637 You see, I think, personally, that the Janov theory 314 00:19:59,712 --> 00:20:04,149 of primaI-scream therapy might work here, 315 00:20:04,216 --> 00:20:07,947 It's guaranteed to get rid of all your problems, 316 00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:09,749 I'd like to hear it, - Me too, 317 00:20:09,822 --> 00:20:12,416 Yeah, so would I, - Yes? You got it, 318 00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,958 Are you all right down there? 319 00:20:17,029 --> 00:20:19,930 No problems more, It works every time, 320 00:20:19,999 --> 00:20:24,026 I believe that does it for tonight's pseudoscientific 321 00:20:24,103 --> 00:20:28,540 psychiatric Sigmund... discussion, 322 00:20:28,607 --> 00:20:30,871 And I hope you tune in next week 323 00:20:30,943 --> 00:20:35,505 when, with luck, I won't be there, 324 00:20:42,521 --> 00:20:45,854 What are you looking for? - My contact lens, 325 00:20:45,925 --> 00:20:46,687 Oh, 326 00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:49,990 Oh, here it is, 327 00:20:50,062 --> 00:20:52,656 Sorry, - Bam! 328 00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:56,833 He's in his dressing room, I know him personally, 329 00:20:56,902 --> 00:20:57,960 Oh, really? - Hey, Kermit? 330 00:20:58,037 --> 00:21:01,165 I was wondering, could you get me Peter Ustinov's autograph? 331 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:05,939 He's one of your favorites, huh? - Oh, not one of them, He is my favorite, 332 00:21:06,011 --> 00:21:10,607 Last week I was your favorite, - Well, we grow, Kermit, We progress, 333 00:21:10,683 --> 00:21:14,016 I just saw him in that last sketch, I was on the floor, 334 00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:16,782 That's a lousy place to watch a sketch from, 335 00:21:16,855 --> 00:21:18,618 I meant from laughter, 336 00:21:18,691 --> 00:21:22,718 You see, when I grow up, I wanna be just like him, 337 00:21:22,795 --> 00:21:25,593 Last week you wanted to be just like me, 338 00:21:25,664 --> 00:21:27,154 I was wrong, 339 00:21:27,232 --> 00:21:29,666 Kermit, I'm in my formative years, 340 00:21:29,735 --> 00:21:32,761 If you had a choice, which would you choose? 341 00:21:32,838 --> 00:21:35,432 Would you like to grow up and be an internationaI star 342 00:21:35,507 --> 00:21:38,772 or would you like to grow up and be a frog? 343 00:21:40,179 --> 00:21:44,081 I'd turn green with envy if I weren't already green, 344 00:21:45,084 --> 00:21:48,053 I hope I didn't hurt his feelings, 345 00:21:54,193 --> 00:21:58,027 # It's not easy bein' green 346 00:21:59,932 --> 00:22:04,801 # Having to spend each day the color of the leaves 347 00:22:08,007 --> 00:22:12,910 # When I think it might be nicer being red or yellow or gold 348 00:22:12,978 --> 00:22:17,005 # Or something much more colorfuI like that 349 00:22:22,354 --> 00:22:25,482 # It's not easy bein' green 350 00:22:27,292 --> 00:22:31,251 # Seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things 351 00:22:34,767 --> 00:22:37,998 # And people tend to pass you over 352 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,938 # 'Cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water 353 00:22:42,007 --> 00:22:45,135 # Or stars in the sky 354 00:22:50,249 --> 00:22:52,945 # But green's the color of spring 355 00:22:55,587 --> 00:22:59,853 # And green can be cooI and friendly-like 356 00:23:03,729 --> 00:23:08,996 # And green can be big like a mountain 357 00:23:09,068 --> 00:23:12,663 # Or important like a river 358 00:23:12,738 --> 00:23:15,070 # Or tall like a tree 359 00:23:23,749 --> 00:23:27,241 # When green is all there is to be 360 00:23:30,122 --> 00:23:33,990 # It could make you wonder why 361 00:23:34,893 --> 00:23:38,090 # But why wonder? 362 00:23:38,163 --> 00:23:40,723 # Why wonder? 363 00:23:40,799 --> 00:23:44,895 # I'm green and it'll do fine 364 00:23:44,970 --> 00:23:46,961 # It's beautifuI 365 00:23:47,039 --> 00:23:51,976 # And I think it's what I wanna be 366 00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:09,987 Well, that just about does it for this week 367 00:24:10,062 --> 00:24:12,690 and I want to thank our guest, Mr, Peter Ustinov, for joining us, 368 00:24:12,765 --> 00:24:16,030 Peter, come on out here, Yeah! 369 00:24:16,101 --> 00:24:19,502 I've just been talking to your show's writer, He's a man of many talents, 370 00:24:19,571 --> 00:24:23,530 Isn't he, though? - Yes, Wears more than one hat, 371 00:24:23,609 --> 00:24:25,577 Oh, yeah, Peter, Hey, listen, it's been great having you, 372 00:24:25,644 --> 00:24:28,112 although I must admit I've been a little bit jealous, 373 00:24:28,180 --> 00:24:30,045 You have? I'm jealous of you, - Yes, 374 00:24:30,115 --> 00:24:32,515 I've always wanted to be a frog, - You're kidding, 375 00:24:32,584 --> 00:24:35,052 Ribbit, ribbit, 376 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:37,611 How do you do that? - A very tight shirt collar, 377 00:24:39,291 --> 00:24:41,316 Well, welcome to the wonderfuI world of frogs, 378 00:24:41,393 --> 00:24:45,727 Yeah, and we'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show. 379 00:25:23,735 --> 00:25:26,670 Well, they did improve the leveI of television entertainment, 380 00:25:26,738 --> 00:25:29,400 Well, they had noplace to go but up,