1 00:00:11,525 --> 00:00:14,824 It's The Muppet Show, with our speciaI guest star Miss Candice Bergen! 2 00:00:14,895 --> 00:00:17,159 Woo! 3 00:00:25,539 --> 00:00:27,530 # It's time to play the music 4 00:00:27,607 --> 00:00:29,598 # It's time to light the lights 5 00:00:29,676 --> 00:00:33,772 # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight 6 00:00:33,847 --> 00:00:35,815 # It's time to put on makeup 7 00:00:35,882 --> 00:00:37,907 # It's time to dress up right 8 00:00:37,984 --> 00:00:42,751 # It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight 9 00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:47,749 Hey, question, What has a thousand legs, but can't walk? 10 00:00:47,828 --> 00:00:51,423 500 pairs of pants, Ha ha, 11 00:00:51,498 --> 00:00:53,523 # To introduce our guest star 12 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,397 # That's what I'm here to do 13 00:00:55,469 --> 00:00:57,767 # And it really makes me happy 14 00:00:57,838 --> 00:00:59,738 # To introduce to you 15 00:00:59,806 --> 00:01:02,798 Miss Candice Bergen! Woo! 16 00:01:08,548 --> 00:01:12,382 # But now let's get things started on the most sensationaI, inspirationaI 17 00:01:12,452 --> 00:01:14,477 # CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI 18 00:01:14,554 --> 00:01:17,079 # This is what we call 19 00:01:17,157 --> 00:01:20,991 # The Muppet Show 20 00:01:25,399 --> 00:01:29,096 Thank you, Thank you, thank you, Hey, Boy, do we have a show for you tonight, 21 00:01:29,169 --> 00:01:32,536 Our speciaI guest star is the beautifuI Miss Candice Bergen, 22 00:01:32,606 --> 00:01:34,096 And she's not just another pretty face, 23 00:01:34,174 --> 00:01:38,270 Besides being an actress, she's a top photographer, a writer, a world traveler, 24 00:01:38,345 --> 00:01:40,176 What you'd call a well-rounded person, 25 00:01:40,247 --> 00:01:44,240 Ha, You can say that again, Woo, woo! Woo, woo! 26 00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:47,377 Listen, you clowns, We're not gonna have any of those male-chauvinist-pig jokes 27 00:01:47,454 --> 00:01:50,082 while Miss Bergen is out here, 28 00:01:50,157 --> 00:01:54,025 I'm tired of any kind of pig joke, 29 00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:57,796 Uh... Piggy, what are you doing out here? 30 00:01:57,864 --> 00:01:59,957 Oh, Kermit, dear, 31 00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:04,367 Did you know that every time we have a beautifuI girI on the show, 32 00:02:04,438 --> 00:02:08,374 you forget about me? - Uh... Yeah, well, uh... uh... 33 00:02:08,442 --> 00:02:13,880 We could have a seaI act on the show, Piggy, and I might forget about you, 34 00:02:13,947 --> 00:02:17,644 He tries so desperately to hide his love for me, 35 00:02:17,717 --> 00:02:18,513 Uh, yeah, but, uh... 36 00:02:18,585 --> 00:02:23,545 You promised I was gonna open the show this week, flipperface, 37 00:02:23,623 --> 00:02:27,684 Uh... Piggy, my love, my life, - Never mind that jazz, 38 00:02:27,761 --> 00:02:32,824 Listen, turkey, Ms. Bergen said I should stand up for my rights, 39 00:02:32,899 --> 00:02:38,064 Either I open the show or Ms. Bergen and I walk, 40 00:02:38,138 --> 00:02:42,734 Well, OK, OK, you can open the show, Piggy, You get to open the show, 41 00:02:42,809 --> 00:02:46,006 Oh! What a surprise! Oh, thank you, my love, 42 00:02:46,079 --> 00:02:48,411 Mwah! Kissy, kissy, 43 00:02:48,482 --> 00:02:51,645 Uh... Never let it be said that the frog is a pig, 44 00:02:51,718 --> 00:02:55,415 So, ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Ms. Piggy, 45 00:02:55,489 --> 00:02:58,890 and her rendition of "What Now My Love?" 46 00:03:03,230 --> 00:03:05,528 # Bom, ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bom 47 00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:07,533 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bom 48 00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,228 # Ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bom 49 00:03:09,302 --> 00:03:13,170 # What now, my love? 50 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,768 # Now that you left me? 51 00:03:17,844 --> 00:03:21,177 # How can I live 52 00:03:21,248 --> 00:03:25,116 # Through another day? 53 00:03:25,185 --> 00:03:29,178 # Watching my dreams 54 00:03:29,256 --> 00:03:33,659 # Turning to ashes 55 00:03:33,727 --> 00:03:37,060 # And my hopes 56 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:40,998 # Into bits of clay 57 00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:45,003 - # Once I could see - # Bom, ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bom 58 00:03:45,071 --> 00:03:49,064 - # Once I could feeI - # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bom 59 00:03:49,142 --> 00:03:52,043 # Now I am numb 60 00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:56,845 # I've become unreaI 61 00:03:56,917 --> 00:04:00,819 - # I walk the night - # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bom 62 00:04:00,887 --> 00:04:04,653 - # Without a goaI - # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bom 63 00:04:04,724 --> 00:04:08,626 # Stripped of my heart 64 00:04:08,695 --> 00:04:12,722 - # My souI - # Ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bom 65 00:04:12,799 --> 00:04:16,701 - # What now, my love? - # Ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bom 66 00:04:16,770 --> 00:04:21,104 # Now there is nothing 67 00:04:21,174 --> 00:04:24,974 - # Only my last - # Ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bom 68 00:04:25,045 --> 00:04:28,412 - # Goodbye - # Ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bom 69 00:04:28,481 --> 00:04:30,381 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bom 70 00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:32,281 # Ba-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-ba-bah 71 00:04:32,352 --> 00:04:35,981 Ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-neh 72 00:04:39,059 --> 00:04:41,050 Oh, Oh, Oh, 73 00:04:41,127 --> 00:04:43,652 Thanks, Piggy, You never sounded better, 74 00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,994 OK, so I lie a little, - Uh... 75 00:04:46,066 --> 00:04:48,125 Wire for Kermit the Frog, 76 00:04:48,468 --> 00:04:51,130 Wire for Kermit the Frog, 77 00:04:51,204 --> 00:04:55,072 Oh, are you Kermit the Frog? - Of course I am, 78 00:04:55,141 --> 00:04:57,200 Wire for you, 79 00:04:57,277 --> 00:04:59,302 Haaa! 80 00:04:59,379 --> 00:05:02,906 Cute, Cute bit, - Oh, 81 00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:04,245 Haaa! Oh! 82 00:05:04,317 --> 00:05:06,308 I love a good running gag, 83 00:05:07,487 --> 00:05:09,955 There's a great little "down home country style, 84 00:05:10,023 --> 00:05:14,483 sitting by the fire whittling and fiddling" song called "Put Another Log on the Fire," 85 00:05:14,561 --> 00:05:17,792 Here now is that song, and here too is tonight's very speciaI guest star 86 00:05:17,864 --> 00:05:20,298 Miss Candice Bergen, 87 00:05:30,143 --> 00:05:33,135 # Put another log on the fire 88 00:05:34,447 --> 00:05:38,440 # Cook me up some bacon and some beans 89 00:05:38,518 --> 00:05:42,921 # And go out to the car and change the tire 90 00:05:42,989 --> 00:05:45,753 # Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans 91 00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:48,316 # Come on baby, you can fill my pipe 92 00:05:48,395 --> 00:05:51,262 # And then go fetch my slippers 93 00:05:51,331 --> 00:05:55,597 # And boiI me up another pot of tea 94 00:05:55,669 --> 00:06:00,231 # Then put another log on the fire, babe 95 00:06:00,306 --> 00:06:03,503 # Come on, tell me why you're leaving me 96 00:06:06,446 --> 00:06:09,973 # Now, don't I let you wash the car on Sunday? 97 00:06:11,017 --> 00:06:14,316 # Don't I warn you when you're getting fat? 98 00:06:15,355 --> 00:06:18,950 # Ain't I gonna take you fishing with me someday? 99 00:06:19,025 --> 00:06:22,722 # Well, a man can't love a woman more than that 100 00:06:23,897 --> 00:06:27,333 # And ain't I always nice to your kid sister? 101 00:06:28,334 --> 00:06:32,236 # Don't I take her driving every night? 102 00:06:32,305 --> 00:06:36,366 # So sit here at my feet 'cause I like you when you're sweet 103 00:06:36,443 --> 00:06:40,504 # And you know it ain't feminine to fight 104 00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:45,574 # So put another log on the fire 105 00:06:45,652 --> 00:06:49,645 # Cook me up some bacon and some beans 106 00:06:49,723 --> 00:06:54,251 # And go out to the car and change the tire 107 00:06:54,327 --> 00:06:57,125 # Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans 108 00:06:57,197 --> 00:06:59,722 # Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe 109 00:06:59,799 --> 00:07:02,859 # And then go fetch my slippers 110 00:07:02,936 --> 00:07:07,236 # And boiI me up another pot of tea 111 00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:11,710 # So put another log on the fire, babe 112 00:07:11,778 --> 00:07:17,774 # And come and tell me why you're leaving me 113 00:07:17,851 --> 00:07:20,945 Yeehah! 114 00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,457 Letter for Kermit the Frog, 115 00:07:29,529 --> 00:07:32,191 Letter for Kermit the Frog, Letter for Ker... 116 00:07:32,265 --> 00:07:35,325 Oh, are you Kermit the Frog? 117 00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:37,835 You know I am, Fozzie, 118 00:07:37,904 --> 00:07:40,065 Letter for you, 119 00:07:41,141 --> 00:07:44,668 Haaa haa, A letter, Haa, 120 00:07:44,744 --> 00:07:46,735 Funny, Funny, 121 00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:48,644 Haaa, 122 00:07:48,915 --> 00:07:52,646 Someday I'm gonna get him, I don't know how, but I'm going to get him, 123 00:07:52,719 --> 00:07:54,914 It's not a bad joke, though, 124 00:07:54,988 --> 00:07:58,219 Oh, uh... Letter for Scooter the gofer, Letter for Scooter the gofer, 125 00:07:58,291 --> 00:07:59,656 What's that? - Are you Scooter the gofer? 126 00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:02,194 Well, you know I am, chief, - There's a letter on the desk here for you, 127 00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:05,493 Sorry, I'll have to read it later, You see, I'm really busy getting stuff for Miss Bergen, 128 00:08:05,565 --> 00:08:08,432 See ya, - Haaa! 129 00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:10,401 Haaa! Haaa! 130 00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:12,062 Funny! 131 00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:25,144 Hey, when I went to schooI, I was the teacher's pet, 132 00:08:25,218 --> 00:08:28,244 What's the matter? Couldn't she afford a dog? 133 00:08:28,321 --> 00:08:29,253 Oh! 134 00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:37,229 If the queen of England was free tomorrow night, would you take her to dinner? 135 00:08:37,297 --> 00:08:39,162 Sure bet, Course I would, 136 00:08:39,232 --> 00:08:42,429 Well, she can't make it, so how about me? 137 00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:50,940 You know, you dance like Rogers, - Oh, Ginger Rogers? 138 00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:53,570 No, Roy Rogers, 139 00:08:57,150 --> 00:09:01,177 Hey, Mildred, would you mind if I popped the question? 140 00:09:01,254 --> 00:09:03,722 Oh, of course not, George, 141 00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:05,451 Thanks, 142 00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:13,425 Oh, shut up, 143 00:09:16,936 --> 00:09:19,632 It's very nice to have you with us on the paneI, Clara, 144 00:09:19,706 --> 00:09:22,766 OK, uh... It's time once again, friends, 145 00:09:22,842 --> 00:09:26,005 time once again to raise the intellectuaI leveI of our program, 146 00:09:26,079 --> 00:09:29,207 And our subject tonight is, "Does traveI broaden the mind?" 147 00:09:29,282 --> 00:09:35,710 Our paneI tonight consists of Mildred Hockstadder, MA, BA, DA and DUMB, 148 00:09:35,788 --> 00:09:38,154 Charmed, I'm sure, - Oh, brother, 149 00:09:38,224 --> 00:09:41,421 Miss Piggy, noted chanteuse and black belt holder, 150 00:09:41,494 --> 00:09:44,088 Mm-hm, Kissy, kissy, - Ugh! 151 00:09:44,163 --> 00:09:48,497 Sam the Eagle, our resident grouch, - Let's move it along, Frog, 152 00:09:48,568 --> 00:09:52,664 OK, And our speciaI guest panelist Miss Clara Cartwell, well-known traveI agent 153 00:09:52,739 --> 00:09:56,368 and author of the best-selling book, Europe on $5,000 a Day. 154 00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:59,900 No, no, no, It's called Europe on $50 a Day. 155 00:09:59,979 --> 00:10:03,039 The book itself, however, costs $5,000, 156 00:10:03,116 --> 00:10:04,344 Hm, Hm, Hm, 157 00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:07,318 And probably well worth it, too, - Oh, yes, Yes, 158 00:10:07,387 --> 00:10:10,447 Yes, Pictures and everything, I bet, - Oh, yes, The works, 159 00:10:10,523 --> 00:10:14,983 OK, but let's get back to our subject, which is "Does traveI broaden the mind?" 160 00:10:15,061 --> 00:10:16,085 Miss Cartwell, 161 00:10:16,162 --> 00:10:19,996 Well, as I write in my new book, Nowhere on Nothing a Day, 162 00:10:20,066 --> 00:10:23,001 traveling is the most broadening experience possible, 163 00:10:23,069 --> 00:10:28,371 Well, Piggy here hasn't traveled at all, and she's broader than any of us, 164 00:10:28,441 --> 00:10:31,933 Watch it, needle-neck, or you won't be on the paneI, you'll be under it! 165 00:10:32,011 --> 00:10:35,640 OK, Ladies, please controI yourselves, - Excuse me, 'Scuse me, 'Scuse me, 166 00:10:35,715 --> 00:10:39,879 Carla, let me apologize for those weirdos, 167 00:10:39,953 --> 00:10:42,444 I myself am a world traveler, 168 00:10:42,522 --> 00:10:45,082 Is that right? Where have you been? 169 00:10:45,158 --> 00:10:46,489 Persia, 170 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:51,155 I bought a rug there, Mm, - Well, I'm glad you're not wearing it, 171 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,926 I like bald eagles, 172 00:10:55,468 --> 00:10:56,594 No, uh... - Oh, dear, 173 00:10:56,669 --> 00:10:58,432 Not that kind of rug, 174 00:10:58,504 --> 00:11:00,768 Yes, OK, Well, I think we're getting away from the subject, 175 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,866 which was "Does traveI broaden the mind?" 176 00:11:03,943 --> 00:11:06,434 Ah, Well, absolutely no doubt about it, 177 00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:09,481 For example, I had a friend who never went anywhere, 178 00:11:09,549 --> 00:11:11,676 lived in the same town for over 30 years, 179 00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:17,587 She was so unsophisticated, she thought Marcello Mastroianni was an Italian soup, 180 00:11:17,657 --> 00:11:19,625 To laugh is to live! 181 00:11:21,327 --> 00:11:24,319 You mean it isn't an Italian soup? 182 00:11:24,397 --> 00:11:27,992 And he calls himself a world traveler? - No, no, wait, 183 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:32,697 I have been to restaurants where I have ordered Marcello Mastroianni and gotten it, 184 00:11:32,772 --> 00:11:35,332 Really? What did you get? 185 00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:39,310 A swarthy, good-looking man sitting in a bowI, 186 00:11:40,346 --> 00:11:43,110 I always send him back, 187 00:11:43,182 --> 00:11:45,446 What do you get when you order a Russian dressing? 188 00:11:45,518 --> 00:11:48,487 Rudolf Nureyev putting on his tights? 189 00:11:51,891 --> 00:11:55,258 I faiI to see the humor in that, - Oh, I love it, 190 00:11:55,328 --> 00:11:57,922 Burst his balloon, honey, he's so pompous, 191 00:11:57,997 --> 00:12:01,899 Balloons! Speaking of balloons, either let some air out, or go on a diet, 192 00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:03,492 You're knocking me off the paneI, 193 00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:06,129 I'll knock you out of the theater in a second, You, you... 194 00:12:06,205 --> 00:12:09,834 OK, ladies, Wait, Please, Please, We have a speciaI guest with us, 195 00:12:09,909 --> 00:12:12,571 I think you'd better put your best face forward, 196 00:12:12,645 --> 00:12:16,046 And whose face is Porker here going to borrow? 197 00:12:16,115 --> 00:12:18,174 That does it, Why... 198 00:12:18,251 --> 00:12:19,912 Hiii! Hii! 199 00:12:19,986 --> 00:12:22,216 Wait! Well, I guess that does it for our paneI, 200 00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:25,655 I'm sorry about that, Miss Cartwell, - Oh, no, It's been very broadening, 201 00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:30,185 Do you really like me without my rug? - Yes, I do, Are you busy later? 202 00:12:30,263 --> 00:12:33,198 What? No, but I could, uh... We could wing out somewhere, 203 00:12:33,266 --> 00:12:39,227 Join us next week, when our topic will be "Air pollution - a modern myth?" 204 00:12:48,514 --> 00:12:51,483 # It's not where you start 205 00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:53,678 # It's where you finish 206 00:12:54,687 --> 00:12:57,247 # It's not how you go 207 00:12:57,323 --> 00:13:00,258 # It's how you land 208 00:13:00,326 --> 00:13:03,523 # A hundred-to-one shot 209 00:13:03,596 --> 00:13:06,531 # They call him a klutz 210 00:13:06,599 --> 00:13:09,329 # Can outrun the favorite 211 00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:13,065 # All he needs is the guts 212 00:13:13,139 --> 00:13:15,972 # Your finaI return 213 00:13:16,042 --> 00:13:18,135 # Will not diminish 214 00:13:19,212 --> 00:13:23,273 # And you can be the cream of the crop 215 00:13:25,118 --> 00:13:27,814 # It's not where you start 216 00:13:27,887 --> 00:13:31,015 # It's where you finish 217 00:13:31,090 --> 00:13:35,220 - # And I'm gonna finish on... - Rowlf, Hey, Rowlf, listen, 218 00:13:35,294 --> 00:13:38,286 Kermit says you sang the song too quick, You're gonna have to sing it again, 219 00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:42,130 but you only have a minute, OK? 220 00:13:42,201 --> 00:13:44,465 Here we go, 221 00:13:44,537 --> 00:13:48,303 # It's not where you start, it's where you finish 222 00:13:48,374 --> 00:13:52,105 # It's not how you go, it's how you land 223 00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:55,841 # A hundred-to-one shot, they call him a klutz 224 00:13:55,915 --> 00:13:59,009 # Can outrun the favorite, all he needs is the guts 225 00:13:59,085 --> 00:13:59,744 How am I doing? 226 00:13:59,819 --> 00:14:03,380 # The finaI return will not diminish 227 00:14:03,456 --> 00:14:06,823 # And you can be the cream of the crop 228 00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:10,522 # It's not where you start, it's where you finish 229 00:14:10,596 --> 00:14:12,996 - # And I'm gonna finish on... - Hey, Rowlf, 230 00:14:13,065 --> 00:14:14,396 Rowlf, listen, It's my uncle's favorite song, 231 00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:16,833 He says he'd like to hear it one more time, but you only have 20 seconds, 232 00:14:16,903 --> 00:14:18,370 All right, hit it! 233 00:14:18,437 --> 00:14:20,962 # It's not where you start, it's where you finish 234 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,203 - # It's not how you go, it's how you land - That's 1 5 seconds, 235 00:14:24,277 --> 00:14:26,336 # A hundred-to-one shot, they call him a klutz 236 00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:28,107 # Can outrun the favorite all he needs is the guts 237 00:14:28,181 --> 00:14:30,979 Ten seconds, - # Your finaI return will not diminish 238 00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:33,450 - # And you can be the cream of the crop - Five seconds, Four, 239 00:14:33,519 --> 00:14:35,350 # It's not where you start, it's where you finish 240 00:14:35,421 --> 00:14:38,879 # And I'm gonna finish on time 241 00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:40,550 Nearly, 242 00:14:41,594 --> 00:14:43,084 Cheese, 243 00:14:43,162 --> 00:14:45,960 Got that? - Yeah, Um... 244 00:14:46,032 --> 00:14:48,296 Kermit, do you think you could do something a little more candid? 245 00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,528 Uh... Sure, Let's see, 246 00:14:52,071 --> 00:14:55,336 How's that? Hm? 247 00:14:55,408 --> 00:14:58,536 Well, it's not exactly candid, Kermit, if you know what I mean, 248 00:14:58,611 --> 00:15:01,307 Oh, OK, Yes, Candid for Candice, 249 00:15:03,482 --> 00:15:06,417 Frog in repose, 250 00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:10,148 What I was thinking was something a little more naturaI, 251 00:15:10,223 --> 00:15:14,216 More naturaI? Let's see, What have we got? Well... 252 00:15:17,096 --> 00:15:20,429 Make sure you get my good side, though, - Which one? Which side is the good side? 253 00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:23,593 I think it's this side, It might be this side over here, 254 00:15:23,669 --> 00:15:26,160 Or maybe... I dunno, What do you think? 255 00:15:26,239 --> 00:15:29,003 Well, I think that... Head-on, Why don't we try one head-on? 256 00:15:29,075 --> 00:15:31,066 Just naturally, - Head-on? OK, You know... 257 00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:34,476 Although my profile has been compared to Barrymore, 258 00:15:34,547 --> 00:15:37,345 Yeah, EtheI Barrymore, 259 00:15:37,416 --> 00:15:40,317 Sweetums, if you don't mind, Candice is trying to take my picture, 260 00:15:40,386 --> 00:15:45,585 Oh, yeah? Is that a good camera there? - Yeah, That's a terrific camera, 261 00:15:45,658 --> 00:15:49,253 This is an 85-21 0 macro zoom lens with the finest Swiss optics, 262 00:15:49,328 --> 00:15:51,728 This is a great camera, - Oh, 263 00:15:52,798 --> 00:15:54,789 Bleurgh! 264 00:15:58,504 --> 00:16:00,972 I don't know, I've tasted better, 265 00:16:06,078 --> 00:16:11,880 Kermit, he ate my camera, - You're lucky, Last week he ate the guest, 266 00:16:11,951 --> 00:16:14,818 Cute, It's a cute show, 267 00:16:29,735 --> 00:16:32,465 Der speecy spicy chili juice, 268 00:16:32,538 --> 00:16:33,698 Mm, 269 00:16:33,773 --> 00:16:35,798 Here are der speecy spicy, 270 00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:43,146 This here, the hotsie totsie, 271 00:16:43,215 --> 00:16:44,204 Mm, 272 00:16:46,218 --> 00:16:49,016 This here der pepper saucen, 273 00:16:52,491 --> 00:16:54,652 Mm, 274 00:16:54,727 --> 00:16:57,218 Ooh! 275 00:17:04,070 --> 00:17:06,095 More speecy spicy seesly chili juicely, 276 00:17:07,173 --> 00:17:10,108 With the hotsie totsie, 277 00:17:10,176 --> 00:17:12,610 Der pepper saucen, 278 00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:25,951 Mm! 279 00:17:40,906 --> 00:17:42,669 # Look at that face 280 00:17:42,742 --> 00:17:43,970 # Just look at it 281 00:17:44,043 --> 00:17:49,276 # Look at that fabulous face of yours 282 00:17:49,348 --> 00:17:52,340 # I knew first look I took at it 283 00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:57,720 # This was a face that the world adores 284 00:17:57,790 --> 00:17:59,587 # Look at those eyes 285 00:17:59,658 --> 00:18:05,358 # As wise and as deep as the sea 286 00:18:06,399 --> 00:18:08,094 # Look at that nose 287 00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:14,595 # It shows what a nose should be 288 00:18:14,673 --> 00:18:16,766 # As for your smile 289 00:18:16,842 --> 00:18:23,680 # It's IyricaI, friendly and warm as a summer's day 290 00:18:23,749 --> 00:18:26,877 # That face is just a miracle 291 00:18:26,952 --> 00:18:31,855 # Where could I ever find words to say 292 00:18:31,924 --> 00:18:36,486 # The way that it makes me happy 293 00:18:36,562 --> 00:18:40,794 # Whatever the time or place? 294 00:18:40,866 --> 00:18:42,766 # I'll find in no book 295 00:18:42,835 --> 00:18:47,966 # What I find when I look at that face 296 00:18:49,742 --> 00:18:50,766 Hm, 297 00:18:50,843 --> 00:18:52,743 Interesting, 298 00:18:54,346 --> 00:18:56,678 Rather definitive, yes? 299 00:18:58,451 --> 00:19:00,976 Of course, Why not? 300 00:19:02,054 --> 00:19:04,784 Inspired, but by what? 301 00:19:06,992 --> 00:19:11,656 # The way that it makes me happy 302 00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:16,030 # Whatever the time or place 303 00:19:16,101 --> 00:19:17,898 # I'll find in no book 304 00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:20,370 Yeah! Yeah! - # What I find when I look... 305 00:19:20,439 --> 00:19:23,033 AnimaI, that does not look like her, 306 00:19:23,108 --> 00:19:25,508 I told you to paint her. 307 00:19:25,578 --> 00:19:28,513 Oh, Thank you, 308 00:19:29,915 --> 00:19:34,750 # What I find when I look at that face 309 00:19:42,528 --> 00:19:44,860 Uh... Note for Kermit the Frog, 310 00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:47,364 Note for Kermit the Frog, 311 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:52,564 Oh, are you Kermit the Frog? - Yes, Fozzie, I am Kermit the Frog, 312 00:19:52,638 --> 00:19:54,697 Note for you, 313 00:19:58,911 --> 00:20:00,674 G sharp, 314 00:20:00,746 --> 00:20:04,204 Will you guys cut that out? Ow! - Ha, 315 00:20:04,283 --> 00:20:06,581 Funny! 316 00:20:06,652 --> 00:20:09,348 Funny, I like it, 317 00:20:12,491 --> 00:20:15,460 Time now for "Veterinarian's Hospital, " 318 00:20:15,528 --> 00:20:20,932 the continuing story of an orthopedic surgeon who's gone to the dogs. 319 00:20:23,435 --> 00:20:26,836 All right, Now, what's the next case? - He's right here, Dr, Bob, 320 00:20:26,906 --> 00:20:30,569 Of course, What's this man here for? - A stomachache, Dr, Bob, 321 00:20:30,643 --> 00:20:33,942 Stomachache, check, 322 00:20:34,013 --> 00:20:36,481 There, now, That should ache for some time, 323 00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:39,746 He's also here for a sore throat, - Easy, 324 00:20:39,818 --> 00:20:43,811 Wait! I've got a sore throat, I want it to go away, 325 00:20:43,889 --> 00:20:46,449 Oh, Well, why didn't you say so? 326 00:20:46,525 --> 00:20:49,858 Open up your mouth, Aha, Aha, 327 00:20:49,929 --> 00:20:51,556 Aha! 328 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:54,690 I see the problem immediately, - What is it, Dr, Bob? 329 00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:58,032 This man has a frog in his throat, - Are you certain? 330 00:20:58,103 --> 00:20:59,968 Positive, 331 00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:04,840 Very funny, Just see if this dumb doctor sketch ever gets on the show again, 332 00:21:04,910 --> 00:21:10,906 And so Dr. Bob has found a patient with a case of ingrown TV-show host. 333 00:21:10,983 --> 00:21:13,918 Tune in next week, when you'll hear Dr. Bob say. 334 00:21:13,986 --> 00:21:17,717 Oh, let's clean up around here, This operating room is a mess, 335 00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:21,282 That's nothing, You should see it in here, 336 00:21:26,465 --> 00:21:30,765 Watch this, Have I got a topper for my running gag tonight! 337 00:21:30,836 --> 00:21:33,464 Oh, it is too much, OK, watch, 338 00:21:33,539 --> 00:21:38,442 Flower for Kermit the Frog, Flower for Kermit the Frog, Flow... 339 00:21:38,510 --> 00:21:41,775 Oh, are you Kermit the Frog? 340 00:21:41,847 --> 00:21:44,441 You know I am, Fozzie, 341 00:21:44,516 --> 00:21:47,110 Flour for you, - Hm? 342 00:21:52,324 --> 00:21:53,951 Haa, Haa, 343 00:21:54,026 --> 00:21:56,085 See? See that? That's a joke, 344 00:21:56,161 --> 00:21:58,652 Yeah, And that was the punch, 345 00:22:00,232 --> 00:22:03,292 No, Fozzie, This is the punch, 346 00:22:03,369 --> 00:22:05,360 Argh! 347 00:22:11,844 --> 00:22:14,938 # And I am all alone 348 00:22:16,015 --> 00:22:20,418 # There is no one here beside me 349 00:22:20,486 --> 00:22:24,786 # And my problems have all gone 350 00:22:24,857 --> 00:22:28,918 # There is no one to deride me 351 00:22:29,828 --> 00:22:32,262 I'm here, It's me, 352 00:22:33,332 --> 00:22:37,132 Because you have to have friends, you see, Gonzo, 353 00:22:37,202 --> 00:22:39,295 # The feeling's oh so strong 354 00:22:39,371 --> 00:22:43,603 # Yes, you've got to have friends 355 00:22:43,676 --> 00:22:45,644 # To last that whole day long 356 00:22:45,711 --> 00:22:49,613 # I had some friends but they're gone 357 00:22:49,682 --> 00:22:52,082 # I said, something come and took 'em away 358 00:22:52,151 --> 00:22:56,144 # And from the dusk to the dawn 359 00:22:56,221 --> 00:22:59,520 # Well, here is where I'll stay 360 00:22:59,591 --> 00:23:03,152 # Well, standing at the end of the road, guys 361 00:23:03,228 --> 00:23:05,594 # Waiting for your new friends to come 362 00:23:05,664 --> 00:23:09,930 # I don't care if I'm hungry or cold 363 00:23:10,002 --> 00:23:11,799 # I gotta get me some 364 00:23:11,870 --> 00:23:16,102 # 'Cause you gotta have friends 365 00:23:16,175 --> 00:23:18,336 # The feeling's oh so strong 366 00:23:18,410 --> 00:23:22,676 # Yes, you gotta have friends 367 00:23:22,748 --> 00:23:24,875 # To make that day last long 368 00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:29,444 # Yes, you gotta have friends 369 00:23:29,521 --> 00:23:33,150 # La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la 370 00:23:33,225 --> 00:23:36,023 # Friends 371 00:23:36,095 --> 00:23:39,724 # La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la 372 00:23:39,798 --> 00:23:42,232 - # Friends - You have to have friends, you see, 373 00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:45,429 You have to have friends, It's very important in life to have them, 374 00:23:45,504 --> 00:23:48,439 Don't you think? It is, though, - # Friends 375 00:23:48,507 --> 00:23:57,347 - # Yes, you've got to have friends - # You gotta have friends 376 00:24:02,054 --> 00:24:05,023 Oh, boy, oh, boy, Kermit's letting me wrap up the show tonight, 377 00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:06,648 OK, 378 00:24:06,725 --> 00:24:12,630 Now, let's thank our speciaI guest star Miss Candice Bergen, 379 00:24:12,698 --> 00:24:15,758 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 380 00:24:15,834 --> 00:24:18,166 Thanks, Fozzie, I had a terrific time, 381 00:24:18,237 --> 00:24:21,570 It's just that I'm a little worried that maybe Kermit's upset with you, 382 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,130 You know what I mean, - Oh, no, no, no, no, 383 00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:26,974 He loves running gags, Oh, yeah, - Pie for Fozzie the Bear, 384 00:24:27,045 --> 00:24:30,572 Pie for Fozzie the Bear, Are you Fozzie the Bear? 385 00:24:30,649 --> 00:24:31,843 No, 386 00:24:31,917 --> 00:24:34,511 Good, I got a pie for you anyway, 387 00:24:40,492 --> 00:24:42,016 Look what you did, 388 00:24:42,094 --> 00:24:44,562 We'll see you next week on The Muppet Show. 389 00:24:44,630 --> 00:24:48,066 You did that to the lady, The guest, 390 00:24:48,133 --> 00:24:50,601 Are you all right? 391 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:25,131 I think I ought to see a doctor, - Why do you say that? 392 00:25:25,204 --> 00:25:28,435 I'm beginning to like the show,