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It's The Muppet Show with our speciaI
guest star Mr, Avery Schreiber,

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# It's time to play the music

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# It's time to light the lights

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# It's time to meet the Muppets
on The Muppet Show tonight

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# It's time to put on makeup

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# It's time to dress up right

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# It's time to raise the curtain
on The Muppet Show tonight

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Hey, did you know that
George the Janitor is so cheap

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that his wallet has
an unlisted pocket?

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Am I too hip for the room? Hey...

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# To introduce our guest stars

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# That's what it's time to do

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# So it really makes me happy

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# To introduce to you

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Mr, Avery Schreiber!

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Whoo!

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Whoo!

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Whoo!

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Whoo!

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# But now let's get things started
on the most sensationaI, inspirationaI

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# CelebrationaI, MuppetationaI

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# This is what we call

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# The Muppet Show

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OK, Welcome, welcome, dear friends,
And we have another goodie for you,

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Our guest is a young
man and an old friend,

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who's been making television
and nightclub audiences laugh

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for many years as part of the
comedy team of Burns and Schreiber,

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And right now, he's launching a new career
as a movie performer and a television star

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in his own right, Mr, Avery Schreiber!

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So we should have another biggie, but
right now, let's get things underway

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with our own Dr, Teeth
and The Electric Mayhem!

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Now, ladies and gentlemen, we'd
like to do for you an old favorite,

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We like to think of our group as
being able to play more than hard rock,

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So here's an old favorite
for some of you moms and pops,

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It's called, and we'll
play, "Tenderly,"

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# The evening breeze
caressed the trees

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# Tenderly

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Yeah,

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# The trembling trees
embraced the breeze

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# Tenderly

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# Then you and I

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# Came wandering by

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# And lost in a sigh were we

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# The shore was kissed by sea and mist

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# Tenderly

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# I can't forget how two hearts met

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# Breathlessly

48
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# Your arms opened wide

49
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# And closed me inside

50
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# You took my lips

51
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# You took my love

52
00:03:04,664 --> 00:03:06,564
# So tenderly

53
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:09,057
# You took my lips

54
00:03:09,135 --> 00:03:10,363
# You took my love

55
00:03:10,437 --> 00:03:11,597
# So tenderly

56
00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:13,595
# So tenderly

57
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# So tenderly

58
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# So tenderly

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00:03:19,379 --> 00:03:21,040
Aw, that's tender, man,

60
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I was just thinking,
apropos of nothing,

61
00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:33,852
but is it pronounced
"tomayto" or "tomahto"?

62
00:03:33,927 --> 00:03:37,363
Is what pronounced tomayto or tomahto?

63
00:03:38,465 --> 00:03:42,561
Great number, Warm, sensitive,
My grandmother will love it,

64
00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:46,732
Scooter, Scooter, Oh, dear
nephew of the theater owner...

65
00:03:46,806 --> 00:03:50,367
Yes, Miss Piggy?
- Would you do Miss Piggy a favor?

66
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Oh, sure, Why not?
- Ahem,

67
00:03:52,479 --> 00:03:56,472
Well, you may have noticed, I
have given my love to Kermit,

68
00:03:56,550 --> 00:04:00,748
You may also have noticed his
reluctance in returning same,

69
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:04,415
Oh, so you want me to get your love
from Kermit and give it back to you,

70
00:04:04,491 --> 00:04:06,550
OK, where does he keep it?

71
00:04:07,961 --> 00:04:11,089
Amusing little twit, isn't he?

72
00:04:11,164 --> 00:04:15,294
No, bonehead! I want
you to make him jealous,

73
00:04:15,368 --> 00:04:16,357
Ah, I see,

74
00:04:16,436 --> 00:04:21,169
I want you to tell him that Avery
Schreiber is simply mad about me,

75
00:04:21,241 --> 00:04:23,573
Oh, you want me to lie,

76
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Just do it,

77
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And if I refuse?

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00:04:28,715 --> 00:04:33,345
Well, then I will karate chop you untiI
the only thing you'll be able to go for

79
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is down for the count!

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00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:37,953
One jealous frog coming up,

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# Piggy and Kermit were sweethearts

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00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:49,934
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
this is a momentous occasion,

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00:04:50,003 --> 00:04:52,767
as the mighty gladiator,
Sir Avery of Macho,

84
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is scheduled to meet and challenge
the most fearsome, vicious beast

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known in the world today,
the Monster of the Moors,

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Matter of fact, here comes Sir Avery now,
Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Avery of Macho!

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Where is he? Where is
this cretinous creature?

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Come out! Come out! Where is he?

89
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Aah! Godfrey Daniels!

90
00:05:17,964 --> 00:05:20,432
Are you he, sir?

91
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,901
Oh, no, no, No, no, I
am Kermit the Frog, sir,

92
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Kermit the Frog?
- Yes, sir,

93
00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:29,206
Well, where is this monster?
I'll rip him to shreds,

94
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I'll tear off his arms and legs and
play pick-up-sticks, Where is he?

95
00:05:35,382 --> 00:05:38,112
Now, what does that mean? Is
it gonna rain or something?

96
00:05:38,184 --> 00:05:39,879
No, no, Matter of
fact, I think that means

97
00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:42,251
that the monster's about
to make his appearance,

98
00:05:42,322 --> 00:05:44,347
Is that right?

99
00:05:45,158 --> 00:05:49,754
Aha! Who's gonna do
what to me when, huh?

100
00:05:50,897 --> 00:05:52,865
Are you the Monster of the Moors?

101
00:05:52,932 --> 00:05:56,868
No, I'm Little Bo
Peep, What's it to you?

102
00:05:56,936 --> 00:06:01,305
Aha, He seems to have an
overactive pituitary gland,

103
00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:07,408
All right, monster, this
is Sir Avery of Macho!

104
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,176
I'm here to challenge you!

105
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,411
All right, I accept,

106
00:06:18,525 --> 00:06:23,724
How do you wanna fight, with
swords or clubs? Name your pleasure,

107
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Well... I choose,
right? - Mm-hm,

108
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The weapon I choose...

109
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- ... is insults,
- Huh? Insults?

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That's right, Ha ha,

111
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He's a lot bigger
than my agent told me,

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You heard that right here, folks,
Sir Avery has chosen insults,

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And, indeed, he is known for his
razorlike wit, which he's gonna need,

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because he's against one of the
foulest mouths in the kingdom,

115
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Ready?

116
00:06:54,794 --> 00:06:57,820
Give me your best shot, fat stuff,

117
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Fat stuff? You call me fat stuff?

118
00:07:01,668 --> 00:07:04,762
Your mother wears
open-toed combat boots!

119
00:07:06,406 --> 00:07:10,240
Sir Avery opened with an old standard
there, Let's see how the monster answers,

120
00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:13,245
You call that an
insult? Here's an insult,

121
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The last time I saw a head like
yours was in a lettuce patch!

122
00:07:19,152 --> 00:07:20,414
Oh,

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00:07:20,487 --> 00:07:23,285
Look at that, Sir Avery has
been hit, Sir Avery has been hit,

124
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Let's see how he answers now,

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Monster?
- Hm?

126
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,487
I've been talking to your best friends,
- And?

127
00:07:30,563 --> 00:07:32,656
You don't have any,
- Huh?

128
00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:36,566
Look at that, Sir Avery is now
choosing the psychologicaI attack,

129
00:07:36,636 --> 00:07:38,627
As a matter of fact...

130
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No, no, I won't tell you,
- Oh, no, please, I can take it,

131
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Nobody likes you,
- Oh! Oh! Oh!

132
00:07:47,947 --> 00:07:49,539
As a matter of fact,
your dog doesn't like you,

133
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Oh!
- In fact, I doubt if you even have a dog,

134
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I had a dog,
- You had a dog, What happened to him?

135
00:07:55,655 --> 00:07:56,986
I ate him,
- Why'd you eat him?

136
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Because he didn't like me,

137
00:08:01,261 --> 00:08:03,889
I give up, You win,

138
00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:07,194
Look at that, folks, It
looks like it's all over now,

139
00:08:09,102 --> 00:08:10,763
Sir Avery?
- Yeah?

140
00:08:10,837 --> 00:08:14,466
Only one thing, When you
and Burns had a comedy team,

141
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:19,137
well, you were my favorite comedy
team... second favorite, of all time,

142
00:08:19,212 --> 00:08:21,942
What do you mean, second
favorite? Who was first?

143
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Starsky and Hutch!

144
00:08:24,984 --> 00:08:25,973
Oh,

145
00:08:26,052 --> 00:08:30,887
Oh, look at that, Sir Avery is
hit bad, and he's going down,

146
00:08:31,958 --> 00:08:35,450
It looks... It looks like...
Friends, I think it's gonna be a draw,

147
00:08:35,528 --> 00:08:38,725
Wait a minute, I demand a rematch!

148
00:08:38,798 --> 00:08:41,130
He didn't get me with his insult,

149
00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:43,533
It was his breath,
- Hah!

150
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,840
Well, so I win a lot,

151
00:08:49,909 --> 00:08:52,002
but it's a lonely life,

152
00:08:56,349 --> 00:09:01,719
Funny man, He was great as a team, I
wonder what it feels like to work alone,

153
00:09:01,788 --> 00:09:04,655
Ask me, I do it every week,

154
00:09:06,826 --> 00:09:10,626
Welcome again to Muppet Labs, where
the future is being made today,

155
00:09:10,697 --> 00:09:14,189
And here it is, folks, the product
you've all been waiting for,

156
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:17,361
the new solid-state gorilla detector,

157
00:09:17,437 --> 00:09:20,873
Yes, friends, how many times have
you awakened at night in the dark

158
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:26,003
and said to yourself, "Is
there a gorilla in here?"

159
00:09:26,079 --> 00:09:29,173
And how many people do you
know whose vacations were ruined

160
00:09:29,249 --> 00:09:32,309
because they were eaten
by undetected gorillas?

161
00:09:32,385 --> 00:09:36,981
Well, no more of that, Whenever a
gorilla comes anywhere near this device,

162
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its lights will flash
and its bell will ring,

163
00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:43,426
Think of the safety, think
of the sense of well-being,

164
00:09:43,496 --> 00:09:48,456
At last, your family can be protected
from the heartbreak of gorilla invasion,

165
00:09:53,606 --> 00:09:55,198
That creature is not a gorilla,

166
00:09:55,275 --> 00:09:59,234
If he were a gorilla, the lights
would flash and the bell would ring,

167
00:09:59,312 --> 00:10:02,247
Yes, Muppet technology is wonderfuI,

168
00:10:02,315 --> 00:10:06,012
It tells us that we are not
seeing a gorilla smash a cabinet,

169
00:10:06,085 --> 00:10:10,419
So I know scientifically that I
am not being eaten by a gorilla,

170
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:25,099
Scooter! Scooter?

171
00:10:25,171 --> 00:10:26,604
Scooter...
- Yes, boss?

172
00:10:26,673 --> 00:10:30,404
Ah, Scooter, would you go for Avery and
tell him to stand by for his next number?

173
00:10:30,476 --> 00:10:33,377
Boss, you know there's
nothing I wouldn't do for you,

174
00:10:33,446 --> 00:10:35,744
Well, so far, that's what
you've done... nothing,

175
00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:40,309
I would climb the highest mountain,
I would swim the widest river,

176
00:10:40,386 --> 00:10:44,049
I'd walk across burning coals...
- Please! Just go get Avery,

177
00:10:44,123 --> 00:10:46,614
That I can't do,
- What?

178
00:10:46,693 --> 00:10:49,753
Sorry, boss, but he and Miss
Piggy are in his dressing room,

179
00:10:49,829 --> 00:10:52,855
and he told me he did
not want to be disturbed,

180
00:10:52,932 --> 00:10:56,424
Piggy and Avery? Are you nuts? Why, he
wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole,

181
00:10:56,502 --> 00:10:59,369
You're right, He was
touching her with his hands,

182
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He was also whispering sweet nothings
into her ear, Nothings like...

183
00:11:07,613 --> 00:11:10,776
Will you get out of
here?! Out, out, out!

184
00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:13,318
Anybody want to buy a gofer cheap?

185
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,551
Piggy and Avery? Yecch,

186
00:13:04,163 --> 00:13:06,757
You know, I had a bit
part in a movie last week,

187
00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:09,734
A bit part?
- Yeah, I bit someone,

188
00:13:13,439 --> 00:13:15,532
I'm very carefuI with my diet,

189
00:13:15,608 --> 00:13:19,408
When I got on the scale this
morning, I weighed 1 04 pounds,

190
00:13:19,479 --> 00:13:21,606
Stripped?
- Of course not,

191
00:13:21,681 --> 00:13:24,616
The drugstore was crowded,
- Oh,

192
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:30,215
Hey, hey, let's boogie,

193
00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:33,725
OK,
- Boogie, boogie, boogie,

194
00:13:38,598 --> 00:13:42,056
I notice nothing bothers
you, Are you into meditation?

195
00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:45,195
No, Sedation,

196
00:13:45,271 --> 00:13:47,637
Boogie, boogie, boogie,

197
00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:52,939
They shouldn't allow his kind in here,

198
00:13:53,012 --> 00:13:55,503
You're right, He's a lousy dancer,

199
00:13:55,581 --> 00:13:58,209
Boogie, boogie, boogie,

200
00:14:00,353 --> 00:14:02,344
Thank you,

201
00:14:06,926 --> 00:14:09,486
# This speciaI time

202
00:14:09,562 --> 00:14:11,655
# This speciaI place

203
00:14:11,731 --> 00:14:16,134
# Is brightened by your speciaI face

204
00:14:16,202 --> 00:14:18,762
# I wish I may

205
00:14:18,838 --> 00:14:21,602
# I wish I might

206
00:14:21,674 --> 00:14:26,907
# Have the wish I wish for you tonight

207
00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:33,916
# May you
always walk in sunshine

208
00:14:33,986 --> 00:14:39,618
# Slumber warm when night winds blow

209
00:14:39,692 --> 00:14:44,527
# May you always live with laughter

210
00:14:44,597 --> 00:14:49,796
# For a smile becomes you so

211
00:14:49,869 --> 00:14:55,865
# May good fortune find your doorway

212
00:14:55,942 --> 00:15:01,175
# May the bluebird sing your song

213
00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:05,877
# May no trouble traveI your way

214
00:15:05,952 --> 00:15:11,390
# May no worry stay too long

215
00:15:11,457 --> 00:15:14,984
# May your heartaches be forgotten

216
00:15:15,061 --> 00:15:19,361
- # May no tears be spilled
- # Tears be spilled

217
00:15:19,432 --> 00:15:23,266
# May auld acquaintance be remembered

218
00:15:23,336 --> 00:15:29,297
# And your cup
of kindness filled

219
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:34,779
# May you always be a dreamer

220
00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:40,513
# May your wildest dreams come true

221
00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:46,821
# May you find someone to love

222
00:15:46,892 --> 00:15:51,886
# As much as I love

223
00:15:51,964 --> 00:15:54,023
# You

224
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:58,298
# Love you

225
00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:08,004
Hey, Avery, listen, welcome to the
show, It's really nice to see you again,

226
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,844
I'm glad to see you again, Kermit,
I really feeI at home here, you know?

227
00:16:10,916 --> 00:16:13,316
Ah, hello, my love,

228
00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:17,015
Uh, Miss Piggy, listen, I was
just trying to talk to Avery,

229
00:16:17,089 --> 00:16:22,652
Oh, please, please, let me just stand
here and gaze upon that adorable face,

230
00:16:22,728 --> 00:16:27,256
Ah, well, there's no time for that, no
matter how adorable you think my face is,

231
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:30,666
Not your face, El Toado!

232
00:16:30,736 --> 00:16:32,431
His,
- His?

233
00:16:32,505 --> 00:16:34,496
Ah, Miss Piggy,

234
00:16:34,573 --> 00:16:40,910
Oh, you can call me by my reaI
name, which few men have called me,

235
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:43,471
Pigathius,
- Pigathius?

236
00:16:43,549 --> 00:16:49,010
Mm, It's from the Greek,
meaning "river of passion,"

237
00:16:49,088 --> 00:16:51,420
Oh, Miss Piggy,
- Hm?

238
00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:55,483
You can call me Avery, It's from the
Yiddish, meaning "hold the mayo,"

239
00:16:56,295 --> 00:17:00,231
Well, you can both call me a cab 'cause
I'm getting out of here, and so are you,

240
00:17:00,299 --> 00:17:01,698
What? What's the matter?

241
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:05,100
I know what's been going on behind
my back, but Miss Piggy is my girI,

242
00:17:05,171 --> 00:17:07,469
You're just a guest on this
show, just passing through town,

243
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:10,634
She loves me, and she's gonna have
dinner with me tonight after the show,

244
00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:13,201
Miss Piggy, you and me, alone!

245
00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:17,073
Oh, Avery...
- Just like I said, It worked, didn't it?

246
00:17:17,149 --> 00:17:20,118
He really loves me,
Oh, thank you so much,

247
00:17:20,186 --> 00:17:24,247
How about a smacker right on these
porker lips, hm? Kissy, kissy,

248
00:17:24,323 --> 00:17:28,191
Well, I-I... Don't take it
personally, no, I can't kiss you,

249
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:32,526
You see, I mean no offense, but
my family never even touched a pig,

250
00:17:32,598 --> 00:17:34,862
much less put their lips to one,

251
00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:38,297
Well, put your lips to this!

252
00:17:38,371 --> 00:17:40,134
Hii-yah!

253
00:17:44,276 --> 00:17:49,509
And now, the finest singing team since
Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy,

254
00:17:49,582 --> 00:17:51,482
They are awe-inspiring,

255
00:17:51,550 --> 00:17:55,782
In fact, when I hear
them sing, I go, "Aw,"

256
00:17:55,855 --> 00:17:58,346
Here they are, Wayne and Wanda,

257
00:17:58,424 --> 00:17:59,686
Get it right,

258
00:18:03,429 --> 00:18:07,559
# Some enchanted evening

259
00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:11,967
# You may meet a stranger

260
00:18:12,037 --> 00:18:15,529
# You may meet a stranger...

261
00:18:19,078 --> 00:18:22,878
He said "meet," not "eat,"

262
00:18:22,948 --> 00:18:25,109
Oh, sorry,

263
00:18:28,687 --> 00:18:31,451
And now,
"Veterinarian's Hospital, "

264
00:18:31,524 --> 00:18:37,520
the continuing story of an orthopedic
surgeon who's gone to the dogs.

265
00:18:43,035 --> 00:18:46,198
Nope, I can't, I just cannot
perform this operation,

266
00:18:46,272 --> 00:18:49,366
But why not, Dr, Bob?
- Well, frankly, I'm chicken,

267
00:18:49,442 --> 00:18:51,808
No, that is a chicken,

268
00:18:53,078 --> 00:18:54,841
You're right,

269
00:18:54,914 --> 00:18:57,576
Besides, this should
be right up your alley,

270
00:18:57,650 --> 00:18:59,379
That's true, I am a bird dog,

271
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:04,820
Are you really?
- Sure, Every year, I fly south for the winter,

272
00:19:06,492 --> 00:19:09,086
Don't your arms get tired?

273
00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:13,763
There now will be a moment of silence,
- Why?

274
00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:17,166
For that joke that just died
in the operating room,

275
00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:20,399
So, you see, Doctor,
what about your patient?

276
00:19:20,473 --> 00:19:23,533
Well, we have a choice, We
can do a chicken appendectomy,

277
00:19:23,609 --> 00:19:27,807
a chicken tonsillectomy, or
a chicken curry fricassee,

278
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,075
Whoa,

279
00:19:30,149 --> 00:19:33,118
We gotta do something about this turkey,
- It's a chicken,

280
00:19:33,185 --> 00:19:35,585
I'm a chicken, The sketch is a turkey,

281
00:19:37,623 --> 00:19:41,150
So Dr. Bob has
run afoul of a fowl.

282
00:19:41,227 --> 00:19:44,663
Tune in next week, when
you'll hear Nurse Piggy say...

283
00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:49,030
Many of Dr, Bob's patients are chickens,
- Why is that?

284
00:19:49,101 --> 00:19:51,296
'Cause he's for the birds,

285
00:19:56,141 --> 00:19:58,575
OK, let's move it,
Don't bask in the glory,

286
00:19:58,644 --> 00:20:01,306
Ten years from now, they'll have
forgotten even the best of you,

287
00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:03,371
Knute Rockne, 1 932,

288
00:20:03,449 --> 00:20:06,077
Aw, Kermit, my love, my life,

289
00:20:06,151 --> 00:20:08,915
I am sorry if Avery made you jealous,

290
00:20:08,988 --> 00:20:10,751
Uh, Fozzie Bear, stand by,

291
00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:12,552
Fozzie Bear, stand by,

292
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:16,254
You are jealous, aren't you?
- Fozzie, stand by,

293
00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:18,626
Uh, no, I'm not,
- But why?

294
00:20:18,697 --> 00:20:23,066
Fozzie, stand by,
- Scooter told me it was all a trick,

295
00:20:23,135 --> 00:20:25,399
Scooter, stand by!

296
00:20:25,471 --> 00:20:27,769
Hii-yah! Hah!

297
00:20:29,341 --> 00:20:31,639
Nice punt,

298
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:34,270
Who needs ya?!

299
00:20:34,346 --> 00:20:36,940
Flipper face!

300
00:20:37,516 --> 00:20:40,144
OK, once again, it's time for
the king of the one-liners,

301
00:20:40,219 --> 00:20:44,986
the sharp retort and the
funny ears, Mr, Fozzie Bear!

302
00:20:47,026 --> 00:20:52,293
Hey, hey, hey, I'm a bear, I'm not a bunny,
so here's some stuff that's really funny,

303
00:20:52,364 --> 00:20:54,696
Hey, hey, hey, I'm not a dope,
- And I'm no dummy,

304
00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:58,100
So how come your stuff...
- ... is really crummy?

305
00:20:58,170 --> 00:21:01,799
Hey, come on, you guys, I come out
here just to give you a good time,

306
00:21:01,874 --> 00:21:05,332
If you wanna give us a good time...
- Go back in,

307
00:21:05,411 --> 00:21:06,935
Aw, gimme a break,
- Hey, listen,

308
00:21:07,012 --> 00:21:09,139
Why don't you guys leave Fozzie alone?

309
00:21:09,214 --> 00:21:11,239
Yeah, Thanks, Avery, Thanks a lot,

310
00:21:11,317 --> 00:21:13,751
I know what it's like to be out
here every night getting heckled,

311
00:21:13,819 --> 00:21:17,516
Yeah, yeah, by the audience, huh?
- No, by my partner,

312
00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:18,716
I love him like a brother,

313
00:21:18,791 --> 00:21:22,158
but he was always concerned that the
act be dignified, You know what I mean?

314
00:21:22,227 --> 00:21:23,319
Yeah,
- Huh?

315
00:21:23,395 --> 00:21:23,861
Yeah,
- Huh?

316
00:21:23,929 --> 00:21:25,556
Dignified,
- Yeah,

317
00:21:25,631 --> 00:21:27,792
I asked him to do the
banana-in-the-ear shtick,

318
00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:29,390
Yeah?
- Yeah, And he wouldn't do it,

319
00:21:29,468 --> 00:21:31,902
Oh, come on, that's funny
shtick, That's a funny bit,

320
00:21:31,971 --> 00:21:36,271
That's right, He said it would look dumb,
- Oh, the banana's funny,

321
00:21:36,342 --> 00:21:38,537
Would you do it?
- Of course I'd do it,

322
00:21:38,611 --> 00:21:40,909
Try,
- Oh, terrific, a banana,

323
00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:43,642
Here we go, In the ear!

324
00:21:47,019 --> 00:21:49,988
He's right, It does look kind
of dumb, Well, see ya, Fozzie,

325
00:21:50,055 --> 00:21:51,647
Avery!

326
00:21:51,724 --> 00:21:55,387
I was just kidding, I wouldn't leave
you out here with a banana in the ear,

327
00:21:55,461 --> 00:21:58,089
To show you what a good sport I
am, I'll put the banana in my ear,

328
00:21:58,163 --> 00:22:00,757
Nobody laughed,

329
00:22:05,437 --> 00:22:09,271
Oh, look at that,
- Wait a minute, Hold it, hold it!

330
00:22:09,341 --> 00:22:11,275
Why is it that when I
did it, you didn't laugh,

331
00:22:11,343 --> 00:22:13,641
but when Avery does it, you go crazy?

332
00:22:13,712 --> 00:22:15,236
Oh, it's his pace,
- His timing,

333
00:22:15,314 --> 00:22:17,509
His delivery,
- His ear,

334
00:22:18,517 --> 00:22:20,678
You see, Jack? I told
you it would work,

335
00:22:20,753 --> 00:22:25,588
This is the greatest thing in my life,

336
00:22:33,165 --> 00:22:37,568
Here's a Muppet news flash,
There is no news tonight,

337
00:23:04,496 --> 00:23:06,020
Can you do that?

338
00:23:49,241 --> 00:23:51,232
Everybody now,

339
00:24:15,634 --> 00:24:16,623
Well, that's it for tonight,

340
00:24:16,702 --> 00:24:20,001
We'd like to thank our very speciaI
guest star Mr, Avery Schreiber,

341
00:24:20,072 --> 00:24:22,734
Thank you, Kermit, Thank you,

342
00:24:22,808 --> 00:24:25,038
Listen, it was a ball, I
hope I didn't get you upset,

343
00:24:25,110 --> 00:24:27,078
Boy, Miss Piggy has a
bad temper, doesn't she?

344
00:24:27,146 --> 00:24:29,580
Aw, listen, don't worry,
I can handle Miss Piggy,

345
00:24:29,648 --> 00:24:33,675
You know, she's just putty in my hands,
I say, "Jump," she says, "How high?"

346
00:24:33,752 --> 00:24:35,686
I crack the whip, she
jumps through the hoop,

347
00:24:35,754 --> 00:24:38,655
You open your mouth,
my fist goes south,

348
00:24:38,724 --> 00:24:40,248
Hii-yah!

349
00:24:40,325 --> 00:24:42,850
Gee, I love to see a
man in controI, Kermit,

350
00:24:42,928 --> 00:24:45,021
We'll see you all next
time on The Muppet Show.

351
00:24:45,097 --> 00:24:46,928
Hii-yah!

352
00:24:50,235 --> 00:24:52,066
Hii-yah!

353
00:25:22,968 --> 00:25:25,766
Well, you gotta give 'em credit,
- Why's that?

354
00:25:25,838 --> 00:25:29,934
Well, they're gonna keep on
doin' it till they get it right,