1 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,357 What's that about? Tell me. 2 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:34,598 Because, at the end of the day, you can say something 3 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,395 and then it doesn't mean that you can't ever change your mind. 4 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,829 It's you that's changing your mind. 5 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,837 Fine! But what's wrong with that? 6 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,349 (GARETH) Yeah, I feel sorry for Dawn and Lee. 7 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,914 If they have to call off the wedding... 8 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,396 then I'm sure it'll be upsetting now, 9 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,476 but in the end, it's for the best. 10 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,510 The thing about long-term marriage 11 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,915 is that, inevitably, the sex suffers. 12 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,919 You constantly have to find new and erotic ways 13 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,917 of spicing things up in the bedroom. 14 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,475 It's a gift and training. 15 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,798 I mean, you can... It's like I was good at it before I was trained, 16 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,879 but now I'm trained I'm better than people who weren't good before. 17 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,389 Today's our staff training. 18 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,550 I do a couple a year. 19 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,240 This is Rowan, our facilitator for the day. 20 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,716 It's good to get in an outsider now and again. 21 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,798 It helps to keep them sort of interested, you know. 22 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,912 And I'm trained in it. I have an MBA from Bradford. 23 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,794 I'm trained in it as well. I could have done this myself. 24 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,639 Let me tell you what today is all about. 25 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,752 - I can do that... - Well, it's my... thing. 26 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,394 It's about customer care, really. 27 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,398 Investment in people - i.e. the staff. 28 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,830 Letting them know they are our most important commodity, 29 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,918 and if they've got a problem, it's my problem... 30 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,074 Er... 31 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:09,153 It's like if you're cleaning a floor and you're up against it, 32 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,829 then come to me and I'll help us clean our floor together. 33 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,234 So... 34 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,234 Not literally. 35 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,112 See you in there. 36 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,399 I'm really sorry. 37 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,956 Things will be OK between you and Lee, you know, 38 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,675 because you and Lee are going to be together, and he knows that, 39 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,598 and if he doesn't appreciate that, he's mad. 40 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,154 If he doesn't appreciate it, I'll marry you! 41 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,789 Hello. You're through to Keith. 42 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,233 I will be at training all day today. 43 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,318 Please call me or leave a message and I will call you tomorrow. 44 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,591 - You're so lovely. - I'm not lovely. 45 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,438 - You are. - No, you are. 46 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,070 - I'm snotty. - You're snotty and lovely. 47 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,713 I'd marry your snot. 48 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,319 - Boys... - All right, mate. 49 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,158 - What's going on? - Nothing. 50 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,078 You're upset. About Lee, is it? 51 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,077 Hey, don't worry, all right? 52 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,239 Monkey Alan in the warehouse fancies you even if no one else does. 53 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,633 What was that? 54 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,990 Can't say anything when they're like that. 55 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,271 No, you can't. You can't. I was doing OK. 56 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,796 What's this Monkey Alan business? 57 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,115 Well, he fancies her. I'm just saying. 58 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,550 She didn't need to know that. It's Monkey Alan. The name... 59 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,148 I don't know who Monkey Alan is, but I bet... 60 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,589 - He's a little bloke. - I don't need to know. 61 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,039 Go away, please. 62 00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,193 Go over there. 63 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,990 I'm Rowan, and I'm going to lead us through today's sessions. 64 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,473 Under me. 65 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,955 As David actually has briefed me and says 66 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,310 a lot of this you'll be familiar with, 67 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,556 but it's not a bad idea to recap anyway, 68 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,433 and I hope a few new ideas will be thrown in. 69 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,996 We're going to start by watching a video - a nice gentle start. 70 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,156 It's a bit cheesy and a bit '80s, 71 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,875 but I think a lot of the ideas are still pretty valid. OK? 72 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,834 A good idea is a good idea forever. 73 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,433 Yeah. OK. 74 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,308 Philosophy. 75 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,432 (EIGHTIES-STYLE "DYNAMIC" MUSIC) 76 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,954 Hi. 77 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:03,871 What's the single most important thing to your business? 78 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,514 - Staff. - That's right. The customer. 79 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,033 A different angle. 80 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,674 These are your profits for this year. 81 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,833 And this is what you're doing to those profits... 82 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,030 if you underestimate the value of customer care. 83 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,598 That's not real money. 84 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,395 - Do you know why? - He'd be mad to burn it. 85 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,717 No. It's illegal to destroy or burn anything 86 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,229 containing the Queen's image of the realm. 87 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,238 - Can we just watch the video? - Yeah. That's true. 88 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,035 Statistics show that if you're treated well as a customer 89 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,912 you'll tell five people. 90 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,793 If you're treated badly, you'll tell nine. 91 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,878 - So can you set fire to a stamp? - No. 92 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,912 In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. 93 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,751 A bus driver would have to accept that as currency. 94 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,753 - Yeah. That'd happen! - If he doesn't, report him. 95 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,677 When I'm walking home. 96 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,473 Get a taxi if you've got enough stamps. 97 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,148 - Cash them at a post office. - Shouldn't have to. 98 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,632 Shouldn't have to. 99 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,077 Here's a typical office. 100 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,440 Yeah? Oh, yeah. Awful, isn't it? 101 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,200 Yeah? Really? I asked him... 102 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,117 Excuse me. I'm in a hurry. 103 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,198 I'm on the phone. God, aren't people rude? 104 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,995 I must tell you about George. It started about a year ago... 105 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,829 Well done. That customer won't be bothering you again. 106 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,519 Ever. 107 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,949 Let's see what should have happened. 108 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,548 Yeah. Yeah. Awful, isn't it? 109 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,433 Yeah? Really? You know, I said to him... 110 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,517 Sorry, sir. I'll be right with you. 111 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,479 Sorry, Jean. I have to go. I have a customer. 112 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,399 I'll call you back at a more convenient time. 113 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,357 All she had to do was acknowledge the customer's presence 114 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,916 and end her personal call as quickly as possible. 115 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,997 This is what we call the Customer Care Tree... 116 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,072 Your prescription will be ready on Friday, madam. 117 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,236 Fine. See you Tuesday. 118 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,753 So if you've put together a crack team, 119 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,429 don't let your business get taken hostage by complacency. 120 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,438 Make your motto "Who Cares, Wins". 121 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,518 Hey, I know you. Can I have your autograph? 122 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:26,914 Of course. 123 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,598 Thank you, Mr Noakes. 124 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,316 Very good. Very good. 125 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,271 OK, then. Right. That's that. 126 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,674 John Noakes. 127 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,519 Yeah. They worked together on "Blue Peter". 128 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,359 - Can I...? - She was short-sighted... Yeah. 129 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,756 OK. Right. Well, you've all seen the video. 130 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,348 Now it's time for the dreaded role play. 131 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,233 We'll kick off with your leader, David Brent. 132 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,477 David, if you could come here. Round of applause for David. 133 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,158 No, no, no. 134 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,877 Cheating. I have done this before. 135 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,719 Good. That should make it a lot easier for us. 136 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,638 - Nice and simple to start with. - Hard as you like. 137 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,955 Well, let's kick off with something easy. 138 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:12,392 I want us to play out a scenario that highlights customer care. 139 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,476 - OK. - All of you deal with people... 140 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,275 - All the time. - You can all improve people skills. 141 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,437 In this scenario... We'll start with something easy. 142 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,915 This will be the wrong way to do it! 143 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,635 I'm going to play a very bad hotel manager who doesn't care... 144 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,709 If it's a Basil Fawlty character, maybe I should do it for the comedy. 145 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,752 Let me just play it now to kick things off, OK? 146 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,871 I'll probably bring that to this role. 147 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,036 Right. You've got a complaint. 148 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,914 Come and complain and I'll show you the wrong way to handle it. 149 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,871 OK. So off we go. 150 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,278 - Sorry. What's the complaint? - Just make it up. 151 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:55,951 Anything. There's no right or wrong thing in this scenario. 152 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,152 We'll tell you the right thing afterwards. 153 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,759 - You complain. - Right. 154 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,111 - OK. I'd like to make a complaint. - I don't care. 155 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,832 - I am staying in the hotel... - It's not my shift. 156 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,916 You're an ambassador for the hotel. 157 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,713 - I don't care. - You will when I tell you. 158 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,796 There's been a rape up there! 159 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,759 I got his attention. Get their attention. OK? 160 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,196 - Right. Some interesting points... - Very interesting points. 161 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,073 It's not quite the point I was trying to make. 162 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,679 Different points to be made. 163 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,030 - I'm interested in customer care. - So am I. 164 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,469 - And the way we'd deal with... - I fazed you. 165 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,478 Maybe I should play the manager as I'm used to it. 166 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,115 I fazed you. You have a go. See if you can faze me. OK? 167 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,719 Yeah. All right. 168 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,276 - Hello. I wish to make a complaint. - Not interested. 169 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,595 - My room is a disgrace. - Don't care. 170 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,473 - The bathroom's dirty... - What room are you in? 171 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,797 - 362. - There is no 362 in this hotel. 172 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,994 Sometimes the complaints will be false. 173 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,076 OK? Good. 174 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,832 Today is really about all of you getting to know and trust each other. 175 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:25,033 So what I want us to do is just spend a few minutes... 176 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,479 (KNOCKING) 177 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,469 Sorry. Can I have a quick word with Dawn? 178 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,999 Dawn? 179 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,671 What I want us to do is for everyone to tell me their name 180 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,678 and their ultimate dream - their ultimate fantasy. 181 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,791 I'll kick things off. My name's Rowan, 182 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,957 and my dream is to have my own island. 183 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,954 David. 184 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,912 It depends what you mean by ultimate fantasy 185 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,713 because time travel's actually impossible... 186 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,479 Just interpret it any way you like. 187 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,275 Yeah. If you're talking about anything that could 188 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,073 or could not be possible, actually. 189 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,671 Anything that could be conceived of to happen or not, 190 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,838 within my realm, you know... 191 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,952 then probably some sort of everlasting life. 192 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,231 I don't just mean in a spiritual or religious sense, 193 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,193 but actually to experience the future 194 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,278 and live, you know, on and on... 195 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,710 and on, and know what it's like to live forever. 196 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,199 I think I'm starting to know what that's like. 197 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,918 - I'm saying... - No, hang on. 198 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,919 - You always have your say. - When have I had my say?! 199 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,679 I've been engaged to Lee for um... 200 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,916 God! ...about three years. 201 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,589 He proposed on a Valentine's Day. 202 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,472 He didn't do it face to face. 203 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,434 He did it in one of the Valentine's message bits in the paper. 204 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,879 Um... 205 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:58,073 I think he had to pay for it by the word because it just said, 206 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,875 "Lee love Dawn. Marriage?" 207 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:05,872 Which I like. 208 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:11,074 It's not often you get something that's both romantic and thrifty. 209 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,397 And don't phone my mum again! 210 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,036 - Dawn, do you want...? - Don't. 211 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,874 OK. 212 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,797 Um... 213 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:25,471 Gareth, a quick trust exercise. Ultimate fantasy? 214 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,797 - Hmm? - We're doing the ultimate fantasy. 215 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,236 Two lesbians, probably. Sisters. I'm just watching. 216 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,319 OK. Um... 217 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,632 Tim? Do you have one? 218 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,070 I never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Gareth? 219 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,756 OK. Well, this next exercise is all about... 220 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,393 motivation. 221 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,478 That's going to be a key word today - motivation. 222 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,238 So... Keith? 223 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,194 What would you say was your motivation for working here? 224 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,515 - Being part of a team. - Let him answer. 225 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,596 That's what he'll say if you ask him. 226 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,154 I am asking him and I'd like him to answer. 227 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,677 Do you want to answer him? 228 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,791 This job's just a stop-gap, really. 229 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,117 The job's not difficult. I don't take my work home. 230 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,150 - It's brainless. - At your level maybe. 231 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,717 But, ultimately, I want to play music, write music, play in a band. 232 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,116 Good luck! Been there, done that, bought the T shirt. Next! 233 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,073 - You were in a band? A rock band? - Yeah. 234 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,158 - What were you called? - Foregone Conclusion. 235 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,589 I'm not sure this is the right time... 236 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,075 - I've got to field the questions. - David. 237 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,430 - What did you do? - Singer-songwriter. 238 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:49,917 Lyrics man, mainly, but you know, the music came easy as well, so... 239 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,555 OK. Right. So, are there any more questions for David? 240 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,069 - No? Good. - You didn't give them a chance. 241 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,556 - Did you want to say something? - Were you successful? 242 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,672 Were we successful? I'll let you judge that 243 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,394 when I tell you that we were once supported 244 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,512 by a little-known Scottish outfit called Texas. 245 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:15,037 I get all this, "Oh, David, you're a brilliant singer-songwriter. 246 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,915 "You're stuck in Slough while Texas are off making all the money, 247 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,076 "and they're rubbish compared to you." 248 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,952 I go, "Don't slag them off." 249 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:28,549 I say, "I've been there, I've done that. That's behind me." 250 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,113 And I respect... 251 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:34,199 The thing is, we're both good in our own fields. 252 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:38,950 I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants. 253 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,150 I couldn't do what... 254 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:46,152 Actually, I could do what they do, and I think they knew it back then. 255 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,396 Probably what spurred them on. 256 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,037 (SOFT GUITAR STRUMMING) 257 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,952 I wrote this. I only play songs I've written myself. 258 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,798 He went home to get it. 259 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,957 # A spaceman came down to answer some things 260 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,277 # The world gathered round from paupers to kings 261 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,438 # I'll answer your questions, I'll answer them true 262 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,711 # I'll show you the way, you know what to do 263 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,957 # Who is wrong and who is right? 264 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,555 # Yellow, brown, black or white 265 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,437 # The spaceman he answered, you no longer mind 266 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:35,155 # I've opened your eyes, you're now colour-blind... # 267 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,952 Racial. So... 268 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:41,632 # She's the serpent who guards the gates of Hell... # 269 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,479 Good stuff. 270 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,438 # Pretty girl on the hood of a Cadillac, yeah 271 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,438 # She's broken down on Freeway Nine 272 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,634 # Take a look at her engine, start it and 273 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,798 # Gave a purr and then I rolled on by, bye bye 274 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,229 # Free love on the free love freeway 275 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,634 Everybody 276 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,876 # Love is free and the freeway's long 277 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,595 # I've got some hot love on the hot love highway 278 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,632 # I ain't going home 'cause my baby's gone 279 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,591 - She's dead. - She's not dead. 280 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,472 # Long time later, see a cowboy crying 281 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,639 # I says, hey buddy, what can I do? 282 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,389 # He says, I lived a good life, had about a thousand women 283 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,272 # I said, why the tears? 284 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,436 # He says, 'cause none of them was you... # 285 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,518 - What, you? - No. He's looking at a photograph. 286 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,154 - Of you? - No. Of his girlfriend. 287 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,791 - The video would show it. - Sorry. 288 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,717 - Sounds a bit gay. - It's not gay. 289 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,434 # Free love on the free love freeway 290 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,677 # Love is free and the freeway's long 291 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,349 # I got some hot love on the hot love highway... 292 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,152 (GARETH HARMONISES) 293 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,236 # Going home 'cause my baby's gone 294 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,477 # Free love on the free love freeway 295 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,478 # Love is free and the freeway's long 296 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,036 # I got some hot love on the hot love highway 297 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,950 # Going home 'cause my baby's gone, she's gone, yeah 298 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,913 # My baby's gone, she's gone, yeah 299 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,998 # Gone away, she's gone, she's gone, yeah 300 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,236 # She's just gone away. 301 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:30,397 # She's gone! # 302 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,398 That's brilliant, David. Really good. 303 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,151 I'm trying to think of other ones. 304 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,157 - Right. That's lunch. - OK. 305 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:43,950 What, in the name of jumping Jehosaphat, was that song about? 306 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,949 I mean, what was that about? 307 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,232 What's he doing? What's Warren doing telling people to say please? 308 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,113 If you don't know, you don't deserve a job. After you. 309 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,514 Thank you. 310 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,074 - Are you all right? - Yes, thank you. 311 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,474 Good. 312 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,678 Are you OK? 313 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,396 Forget all about him. He's not worth it. 314 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,795 I go through this sort of thing all the time. 315 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,275 Although it's usually me who dumps them. 316 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,789 No one dumped anyone. It was an argument. 317 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,480 Come out with me. I'll find you a new bloke. 318 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,318 It was just an argument. 319 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,718 Well, I'm just saying. 320 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,629 Thanks. That's nice. 321 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,273 You OK? 322 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,277 - Yeah. - Sit down. 323 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,834 Now, I don't want to pry, 324 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,953 but I am aware of your personal problem, 325 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:47,552 and I wouldn't be the boss or the man that I am 326 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,912 if I didn't lend some words of encouragement. 327 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,758 (GUITAR STRUMS) 328 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,868 This is something I wrote. I hope it helps. 329 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,390 # Rose, you never used your thorns 330 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,159 # The ones you loved abandoned you 331 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,078 # Your angel face made hearts so warm 332 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,715 # You helped the sick, but who helped you? 333 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,798 # Then rushing through the Paris night 334 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,151 # They hounded you, you lost control 335 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,158 # We prayed that you would be all right 336 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,909 # The news came through, your body cold 337 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,718 # Goodnight, my sweet princess... # 338 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,309 Is that originally about Princess Diana? 339 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,598 Originally. But it fits perfectly, doesn't it? 340 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,271 Not the car crash bit. 341 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,954 Well... 342 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,152 Your relationship with Lee is a bit like a car crash. 343 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,554 In Paris? 344 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,079 City of love. 345 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,154 You're right. It fits perfectly. Thank you. 346 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,035 # Every breath you take 347 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,433 # Every move you make, yeah... # 348 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,795 Being dumped is the perfect excuse to do all the things you want to do. 349 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:17,152 I wasn't dumped. And, actually, I have been thinking of leaving. 350 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,429 How long have you been thinking of leaving? 351 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,596 - Who's leaving? - I am. 352 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,678 Well, that's stupid. You've got a job here for life. 353 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,837 Yeah. I don't want to spend my life answering phones 354 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,758 in some crappy sub-branch paper merchants. 355 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,111 Dawn, you could be answering those phones in Head Office 356 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,798 or a better paper merchants. 357 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,876 Why waste her life in paper? 358 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,797 Not a waste, actually, not a waste. 359 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,118 Look at Jeff Lamp. He's 42, he's got a Porsche. That's from paper. 360 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,196 How long you been thinking of leaving? 361 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,557 And are you going to lay down any of those tracks? 362 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,956 Well, I've got a lot on one demo from the band days, 363 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,799 but they're about ten years old, so if I put them out, 364 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,878 I'd have to lay down some drum and bass shit on 'em. 365 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,274 Sample shit. 366 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,756 If you go back on the road, are you going to need any help? 367 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,235 - Look, I'm sorry to... - Hold on. What? 368 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,749 Are you going to need a manager? 369 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,871 Well, I'll probably manage myself. 370 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,275 I could be your Assistant Manager. 371 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,670 You could be Assistant to the Manager. Hold on, man. Shoot. 372 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,678 We've got a lot to get through and no one's back. 373 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,598 Get them over because Rowan wants to crack on. 374 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,950 - Do you want me to discipline them? - No. 375 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,074 Imagine him in a band. Bald old git. 376 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,229 The glasses would be stupid, so... 377 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,316 What's the vibe in the second half? 378 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:45,714 'Cause... 379 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,276 Yeah. Not always for this company. I've worked for... Hi. 380 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,278 ...various companies over the years. 381 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,710 How did you get into doing this? How did you start? 382 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,196 Doing what I do? There are lots of ways, really. 383 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,951 Are you thinking of doing it? 384 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,595 I wouldn't mind, actually. It looks like quite good fun. 385 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,756 - Does it? - Yeah. Quite interesting. 386 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,476 Right. This next exercise is all about forward planning 387 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,079 and team work. 388 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,839 I'm going to put you into pairs for this. 389 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,191 So um... Gareth, if you can go with Tim. 390 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:27,753 Oh, God! 391 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,631 I wouldn't want to be stuck with you in a situation either. 392 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,512 A situation? What situation? 393 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:38,077 Who would you rather be with on a desert island whittling wood and berries? 394 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,158 Daley Thompson. 395 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,549 OK. Let me give you the problem. 396 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,954 A farmer - not pictured - 397 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,117 has a chicken, a bag of grain and a fox, 398 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,549 and he needs to get them across the river, 399 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,352 but - and here's the rub - 400 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,836 his boat is only big enough to take one item at a time. 401 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,316 I want you to work out in what order he takes them across. 402 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,670 - Remember... - Five minutes, OK? 403 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:13,077 He can't take the fox first because then the chicken will eat the seed. 404 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,753 He can't take the grain because that leaves the fox and the chicken. 405 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,599 Fox and the chicken together? Bloodbath. 406 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:29,030 Yeah, I know. He can't leave the chicken with the grain. 407 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:33,392 Er, hello? I'm a chicken. Thanks for leaving me with my favourite food. 408 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,511 I'm saying you can't do that. 409 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,917 How big is this chicken? The same size as a bag of grain? 410 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,630 - I don't know. Big chicken. - How big? 411 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,637 Big. It's a super-chicken. 412 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,990 What's the farmer doing with a fox? 413 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:50,556 A fox is a farmer's worst enemy. He should drown the fox. 414 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,989 Gareth, it's a puzzle. It's just a puzzle. 415 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,917 Yeah. Well, it's stupid. 416 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:56,838 What are we learning from it? 417 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,190 It's just a problem to be solved. 418 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,670 - Put the grain on a wall. - There's no wall. 419 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,631 - There's always walls. - Not here. 420 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,797 There's nothing? There's just a farm and a river? 421 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,876 - Get his wife to help. - He ain't got one. 422 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,150 - All farmers have wives. - This one's gay. 423 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,669 Then he shouldn't be allowed near animals. 424 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,630 - You'd take the grain next. - Then the grain. 425 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,636 He's got to take the chicken first, 426 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,593 so he can leave the fox with the grain. 427 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,030 - Shall I tell them? - No, I'll do it. 428 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,630 - They're more receptive to me. - It's straightforward. Right. 429 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,194 Here's the answer. 430 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,359 First he takes the chicken across, leaving the fox with the grain. 431 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:51,075 Then he brings the fox across, but he brings the chicken back. 432 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,953 Then he takes the grain across, leaves it with the fox, 433 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,116 then he comes back for the chicken. 434 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,834 - I'm sure you all got the answer... - Easy. 435 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,794 Yeah, but the important thing here is that you were working as a team. 436 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,399 Sorry. Gareth? 437 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,191 Yeah. Some questions. 438 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,233 I hope that exercise demonstrated that it's vital 439 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,636 - that every member of a team... - Follows a leader. 440 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:22,309 Well, knows their place within that structure. 441 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,113 - Some may be leaders... - He knows best, or she. 442 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:29,438 - Whoever is in charge may be... - In a team of women, for example. 443 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:34,031 It may be women or men. Somebody may be scoring the goals... 444 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,674 - Can't stress that enough. - Absolutely. 445 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,110 - You may not be the person who... - Unconditional trust... 446 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,196 ...is returned in leadership. 447 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:46,359 It's important that you know your place and that you are supported... 448 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,950 - Maybe we should just move on... - Move on. 449 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,150 To another exercise. 450 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,157 What about this one? 451 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,556 What do we think might be the lesson here? 452 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:58,954 Dogs? 453 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,713 Say what you see, Gareth. 454 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,472 - Give a dog a bone. - He's not Roy Walker, Gareth. 455 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,874 What is it? 456 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,788 If we pull together in the same direction, it's better for us all. 457 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,751 They could be fighting. 458 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,359 They're smiling. 459 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,552 In the picture, maybe, but in reality... 460 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:25,352 Look, the point here is that if the team is focused on its objectives, 461 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,471 and those of the individual members, 462 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,239 it's easier for everyone to achieve their goals. 463 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,717 Exactly. Like the fable. You know the one when the dog's got a bone. 464 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,957 He goes down to the lake to drink and sees his reflection. 465 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,834 He goes, "That dog's got a better bone. I'll have his as well." 466 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:47,398 And when he opens his mouth, he drops the real bone and loses both. 467 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,556 And what's that got to do with this? 468 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,116 It's what Gareth was saying about if we've got our bones, 469 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,312 don't go for other people's bones because you'll lose yours. 470 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,078 What does that mean? 471 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,238 Oh, don't you know? I thought it was... 472 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,194 Bones. 473 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:09,154 - I'm bored of this. I am so bored. - Yeah. So am I. 474 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,351 I don't mean this. I mean everything. 475 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,471 The job. Sorry, Rowan, no disrespect. 476 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,353 - This is a waste of time. - I know how you feel. 477 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:17,913 Let's get on with this. 478 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,315 I can't take any more of this nonsense. 479 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,592 I can't take another boring call about index board at 230 a ton. 480 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,995 - 260. - You're a twat, OK? Shut up. 481 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:31,033 Shut up. I'll give you my... We'll work out my notice. 482 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,718 I'm going. Goodbye. 483 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,438 He'll be fine. 484 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,709 A waste of time. It was all a waste of time. 485 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,833 Oh, see? Pressure. 486 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,791 Not as easy as it looks. 487 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,434 Sometimes the experience outweighs the... 488 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,273 Sorry, David. Dawn. 489 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,279 Now you've split up with Lee, would you like to come out for a drink? 490 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,029 I haven't split up with him. 491 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,918 I know. I meant as a friend. I did mean as a friend. 492 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,429 OK. See you later. Yeah. 493 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,672 Go and get the guitar. 494 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,834 I'll probably write a song about this one day. 495 00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,078 (GUITAR STRUMS) 496 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,439 (DAVID) # So what becomes of you, my love, whoa 497 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,838 # When they have finally stripped you of 498 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,520 # The handbags and the gladrags 499 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,428 # That your granddad had to sweat so you could buy, yeah! # 500 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,995 We used to have a political reggae one called Equality Street. 501 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:06,954 OK. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net