1 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,396 Morning, Gareth. 2 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,634 # Mnamanah doo doo do-do-do 3 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,195 # Mnamanah doo doo do-do 4 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:29,032 # Mnamanah doo doo do do-do do do-do do do-do do do do-do-do-do-do 5 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,595 # Mnamanah doo doo do-do-do 6 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,950 # Mnamanah doo doo do-do 7 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:39,632 # Mnamanah doo doo do do-do do do-do do do-do do do do-do-do-do-do 8 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,913 # Mnamanah na na-na na-na mnamanah na na na-na 9 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,156 # Mnamanah doo doo do-do-do 10 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,271 # Mnamanah doo doo do-do 11 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:54,157 # Mnamanah doo doo do do-do do do-do do do-do do do do-do-do-do-do! # 12 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,792 Muppets. 13 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,077 I've not given up on going to university. 14 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:33,037 It's just that I've been made senior sales rep, which is a great opportunity. 15 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:39,509 There's people coming in from Swindon, which is a new and exciting venture as well. 16 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,155 I'm 30. I want to grow up, basically. 17 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,750 I suggest we put this down as a lesson. 18 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,988 Have this stuff over to me by three o'clock. Three o'clock today please. 19 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:58,513 Then we'll say no more about it. All right? (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 20 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,757 Gareth Keenan. Who's that? 21 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,551 Oggy! 22 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:09,788 Oggy oggy oggy! Oink oink oink! Oggy oggy oggy! Oink oink oink! 23 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:14,949 Oggy... Oggy... Oggy oggy oggy! Oink oink oink! 24 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,036 See you later. 25 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,275 - Do you keep in touch with Oggy? - That was Oggy. 26 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,233 - Was it? How is he? - You don't know him. 27 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,238 - I wish I did. He sounds great. - He is. 28 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,716 Could you keep the pig impersonations down? 29 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:40,119 Yeah. I've told you before, you can't tell me what to do, I'm team leader. 30 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:45,075 - I'm senior sales rep, so I can. - Team leader beats senior sales rep. 31 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:51,628 No. My job title actually means something. I got a pay rise. Team leader means nothing. 32 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,796 It means I'm leader of a team. 33 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:59,597 It's a title someone's given you to get you to do things they don't want to do for free. 34 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,476 It's like making the div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it. 35 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,113 - They do. - No. 36 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:11,952 Yes, they do. If people were rude to me, I gave them their milk last, so it was warm. 37 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,033 Right. 38 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,596 Oh, no... 39 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,190 I found that in "Inside Paper". 40 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:49,316 It's the trade magazine for the paper industry. My ugly mug on the front! 41 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,272 Embarrassing. 42 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,512 All right. 43 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:11,437 He's put me off what I was doing now. Oh, yeah. Making the phone calls. 44 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,192 Don't... 45 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,552 Dawn, someone's coming to collect that later, so... 46 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:28,709 Lee, I wouldn't get caught there, mate. Top brass are milling about. 47 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,595 - I'm going anyway, mate. See ya. - Bye. 48 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,876 Sorry. I've got to supervise everything and make sure it's all... 49 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:47,076 - You haven't visited for ages. - Yeah. I'm a bit snowed under. 50 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:50,113 - But you're all right? - I'm fine. You? 51 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,471 - Mmm. Did you...? - Your phone. 52 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,116 (PHONE RINGS) 53 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,756 - It's all go! - This is Neil. 54 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,110 - Neil Godwin. - Hi. 55 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:15,598 - Neil is Jennifer's replacement. - I'm David's boss. 56 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,759 - Just a little bit above me... - I'm the UK manager. 57 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:25,273 I was David's equivalent in Swindon, doing the same kind of job. 58 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:29,234 My branch closed and now my staff are coming here. 59 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,591 So I'm David's boss, looking after him. 60 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:38,238 Looking after's the wrong term because we're both... Good to meet you though. 61 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:44,390 - We have met before. Ipswich conference. - Oh, God. I was a leetle bit drunk! 62 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,752 - For most of the week. - Doesn't sound like me, does it? 63 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,839 Anyway... Come into my boudoir. 64 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:59,114 - Ooh! Is Jennifer with you? - No. She's on her way, apparently. 65 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,072 Part-timer. 66 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,432 Monkey! 67 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:10,349 Just an example of the laughs we have here - for one. 68 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,517 Sure, we're in potentially traumatic times, 69 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,315 but they are exciting times with the merger. 70 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:24,834 Things move fast. Only two weeks ago, I was telling them I'd decided to stay after all, 71 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,555 and you saw how relieved they were at that. 72 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:33,311 But we've had a personnel change of 25%, people coming and going. 73 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,479 Redundancies - some involuntary, which is hard. 74 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,559 I had to let my PA go. Last in, first out. 75 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,150 Which was really sad. That was upsetting. 76 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:53,475 I'm coping. I rolled with the punch. Dawn can do a lot of it anyway. 77 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:58,470 There'll be time for this later, but I'll give you some of it now. 78 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,797 Is that in your way? I'll move that. 79 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,151 Oh, God. Look at that. Stupid. 80 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:09,797 Get UK Manager of the Month, Inside Paper, and pull a daft face. 81 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,958 - You look quite young. - Photogenic... 82 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,230 - It's 18 months old. - Yeah. 83 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,115 I got it out today to throw it away. Definitely. 84 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:28,310 - Look at that. - Inside Paper inside the paper bin! 85 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:33,753 Recycle that. It's a shame 'cause... 86 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:41,479 (ELECTRONIC VOICE) Stopl Move away from the cookie jarl 87 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,469 Stopl Move away from the cookie jarl 88 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,189 - Hello... - Want a biscuit? 89 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,477 Stopl Move away from the cookie jarl 90 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,477 Good, innit? 91 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:03,594 You know this thing we're doing lunchtime? A welcome do for the Swindon lot. 92 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:08,715 Just to meet and greet. I'm going to do a speech, so no heckling. 93 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,832 - I've got a joke you can use. - Go on. 94 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,749 It's Christmas dinner, royal family. 95 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:21,910 Camilla Parker-Bowles says, "OK. I'll think of something, you have to guess what it is." 96 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:26,875 - She's thinking a black man's cock. - Trust Camilla. It's not racist? 97 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:32,313 No. Prince Philip goes, "Is it bigger than the bread bin?" She goes, "Yeah." 98 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,876 Charles goes, "Can I put it in my mouth?" "Yeah." 99 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,833 The Queen goes, "Is it a black man's cock?" 100 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:43,511 - She's guessed it from those clues! - Straightaway. 101 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:48,430 That's the sort of stuff I write. You didn't write it, you just told it. 102 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,074 Well done. Do it again. 103 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,670 Stopl Move away from the cookie jarl 104 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,395 Look forward to this! 105 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,799 (DAVID) Big day today. The Swindon mob are arriving. 106 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,514 I've laid on a little do for them. 107 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,438 - Sheila. - Hi, Sheila. 108 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:17,076 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 109 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,160 If you're asking what the vibe is, 110 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:25,911 it's just a chill-out, get to know each other type of vibe. 111 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,873 - Nice to see you. - Settling in all right? 112 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:33,710 Jennifer's coming back to oversee the transition. 113 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,469 Very much holding Neil's hand. Daunting for him. 114 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:45,832 Ooh. Dawn, you know I don't drink! Eh? 115 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:50,158 She gave me some wine and I went, "You know I don't drink!" 116 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:55,036 - Do you not drink? - He says, "Do I not drink?" 117 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,435 - Yeah. He drinks. - Right. OK. 118 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,676 Just a little bit. 119 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,113 Take a chair - not literally! 120 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,196 Ladies first. 121 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,310 Here we go. 122 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,956 You put the chairs out? It's great. 123 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,799 - You're saying a few words? - Just a few. 124 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,959 Don't be nervous. Just bring me on and enjoy the show. 125 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:37,231 Some people are intimidated when talking to lots of people in an entertaining way. 126 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,432 Not me. I've had experience. 127 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,996 At a Coventry conference, some of us put on a review 128 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:48,876 and I did impressions of the conference co-ordinator, Eric Hitchmo. 129 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,674 He talks like this and says one thing. 130 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:56,829 "I don't agree with that in the workplace." I did him as famous people. 131 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,999 The compere would go, "Lt Colombo" and I'd come out in a mac. 132 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:05,751 "My wife loves you... but I don't agree with that in the workplace!" 133 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,076 And I did him as Basil Fawlty. 134 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:13,229 "I think I got away with it... but I don't agree with that in the workplace!" 135 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:17,638 And he loved it because there was nothing vicious. 136 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,753 Some "comedians" would have been more nasty. 137 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:27,717 He's got a withered hand, like Jeremy Beadle. I didn't mention it. No need. 138 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:33,518 Hello, everyone. For those of you that don't know me, my name's Neil Godwin. 139 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,156 For those of you that do know me, keep shtum. 140 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,356 I'm a man of simple pleasures. 141 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:46,317 I don't need lovely houses and classy restaurants, so good job I moved to Slough! 142 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:52,191 No, it's great to be in Slough. I've just spent a year in Beirut. 143 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,914 (LAUGHTER) 144 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:59,318 I know that David is worried about taking on these new staff 145 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,717 because it'll mean more responsibility - 146 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,515 he'll have to delegate twice as much work! 147 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:12,477 There will be perks. I'm sure he's looking forward to having more men underneath him. 148 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:16,559 Here's the man at the top of the pile, David Brent. 149 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:25,671 Thanks. What he was saying about me being top of the pile of men - saying I'm gay. 150 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:31,238 I'm not gay. In fact, I can honestly say I've never come over a little queer! 151 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,877 Get to the real stuff. That was just... He's putting me off. 152 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:44,916 Welcome to Slough to the new people. My name's David Brent. 153 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:49,079 I've always been in the paper industry, haven't I? 154 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,159 My parents owned a paper shop - until it blew away! 155 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,352 There's better ones than that. OK. 156 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:02,798 I'm not used to public squeaking. I piss pronunciate a lot of my worms. 157 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:05,759 Ooh. 158 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,396 "The Two Ronnies". Classic stuff. (PHONE RINGS) 159 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:15,118 Turn the phone off. If you're not concentrating, you won't enjoy it as much. 160 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:19,871 Focus. Anyway, good to have you all here from Swindon. 161 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:25,279 I hear they dropped an atomic bomb on Swindon - did about £15 worth of damage. 162 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,073 Right. OK. 163 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,033 That's... Right. 164 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:40,549 Good job Eric Hitchmo isn't here. He'd say, "I don't agree with that in the workplace." 165 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:45,880 Imagine if Eric was a Los Angeles detective. It'd be a bit weird, wouldn't it? 166 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:50,471 "My wife loves you but... I don't agree with that in the workplace." 167 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:55,549 What's that, Eric? You've started running a hotel in Torquay? 168 00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:01,471 "Don't mention the war and... I don't agree with that in the workplace!" 169 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:05,195 I don't agree with that in the workplace! 170 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,279 You know Eric Hitchmo. Who's been to the Coventry conference? 171 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:14,076 - Do you not know Eric Hitchmo? - Yeah, but he doesn't talk like that. 172 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:19,035 - Yes, he does. Right, Gareth? - I prefer your stuff about his little hand. 173 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,437 - I don't do that. - You do. The wanking claw. 174 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,592 Has everyone heard of Harry Enfield? Harry Enfield? 175 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:34,794 - Yes. - Right. OK. Then, who's this? 176 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:40,470 "I do not believe you wanted to do that. Only me!" 177 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,430 Oh, come on! 178 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,313 You try something and that's... 179 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,954 - Thanks, David. - Eh? 180 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,118 - Thanks. - Whatever. Just... 181 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:09,555 OK. There's plenty of wine and snacks left if you want to help yourselves to anything. 182 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,392 Thanks. 183 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:29,148 (MURMUR OF CONVERSATION) 184 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,195 - I see you've got the wheelchair. - I have, yeah. 185 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:39,679 I've got a mate who's got a wheelchair. Not a mate, I don't like him much. 186 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,912 - I feel all right, yeah. - It looks very smart. 187 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,873 Cheers. Thank you very much. 188 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:55,029 Sorry. Excuse me. Dawn. You've been off reception for an hour. 189 00:15:55,240 --> 00:16:00,314 I don't know if we're missing calls or what. Could you check? 190 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,832 Check the messages. Is that all right? Thanks, mate. 191 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,634 As long as it's comfy... 192 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,513 Hi. 193 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:24,429 Lunchtime gigs are the worst. I don't think Neil warmed you up. 194 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,757 He's not a professional comedian. 195 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:33,114 - He was funny though. - An amateur will stitch up a professional. 196 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:37,757 Here's one I should have told you. The Royal family. Christmas Day. 197 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:43,830 Camilla goes, "Let's play "20 Questions". You've got to guess what I'm thinking of." 198 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,998 What she's thinking of is a black man's cock. 199 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,193 Charles goes, "Is it bigger than the bread bin?" "Yes." 200 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,198 Philip goes, "Can I put it in my mouth?" "Yes." 201 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,358 The Queen goes, "Is it a black...?" Hiya. 202 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:02,434 - Sorry. Were you telling a joke? - No. That was it. 203 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,074 What did the Queen say? 204 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:11,795 - What was the joke? - The Royal family playing "20 Questions". 205 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,958 It's not the black man's cock one, is it? 206 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:20,188 - It might be, but... Bad, isn't it? - It's all right. It's funny. 207 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,392 Harmless. Well done. 208 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,236 Have you all met this little lady... this lady? 209 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:39,955 It's a shame this had to happen today, but I've just had a complaint. 210 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:45,518 - What complaint? - I can't believe you told racist jokes. 211 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:52,319 Wrong. No way. He thought it was funny, so I don't know why he's complaining now. 212 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,954 He? It was a woman. 213 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,516 I assumed it was the... new guy. 214 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,156 - Anyway, it isn't racist. - What is it? 215 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,635 - The joke? - The gist of it. 216 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,116 - It won't be funny now. - What's the content? 217 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,552 Royal family on Christmas Day. Camilla goes, "Let's play a game. 218 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:18,198 "You have to guess what I'm thinking of." She's thinking of a black man's cock. 219 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:25,435 So Charles goes, "Is it bigger than the bread bin?" Camilla goes, "Yup". 220 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,269 Philip goes, "Can I put it in my mouth?" "Yup". 221 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,438 The Queen goes, "Is it a black man's cock?" 222 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,633 He's heard it before. So that's the sort of... yeah. 223 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,679 I can see why that might be offensive. 224 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,838 I don't say anything bad about black people. 225 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:49,431 - It's about a black man's cock. - It just happens to be a black man's cock. 226 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:55,078 You're using the stereotype that all black men have large penises to make it funnier. 227 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,794 It's not an insult. It's a compliment. 228 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:03,233 Black people should be flattered that their only achievement is oversized genitalia? 229 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,079 - They shouldn't be ashamed. - It's a myth. 230 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:11,434 - I could show you a magazine where... - Could you? 231 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,155 I haven't got it with me. When are you next in? 232 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:21,192 I could just say big cock and not mention the colour. 233 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:26,793 Or you could tell those jokes in your free time and not in the workplace. 234 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,956 It was his joke. 235 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:34,109 Whatever, David. You've heard my opinion. Shall we go back outside? 236 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:42,995 You ought to be careful because some of them can be a little bit sensitive, so... 237 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,556 - Sorry? Who can? - Some... people... 238 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:52,357 can take things the wrong way - as an actress said to a bishop! 239 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:58,351 That's not a gay stereotype. I'm not saying that's the wrong way. I'm saying it's a way. 240 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,552 Some straight women like it the wrong way. 241 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:07,198 It doesn't matter if you're gay. One in ten, apparently. That seems a bit high. 242 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,597 You might be... If you are, good luck to you. 243 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,554 Just make sure it's legal and be safe. OK? 244 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,719 That's it. A lot of people can't keep up 245 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,913 with what words are acceptable and what words aren't. 246 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:33,639 My dad, for example, isn't as cosmopolitan or as educated as me 247 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,798 and it can be embarrassing. 248 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:42,677 He doesn't understand new trendy words. He'll say "poofs" instead of "gays". 249 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:49,158 "Birds" instead of "women", "darkies" instead of "coloureds". 250 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,916 - All right, Tim? - Yes, thanks, Keith. 251 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,873 - Hi. - Sorry. I didn't mean to... 252 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,833 Your T-shirt's got "Pot my pink" on it. 253 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,998 - Play snooker? - Not that way. 254 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:17,318 - So it's... Rachel, isn't it? - Tim. 255 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,954 - Well done. - Gareth. 256 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,991 Hiya. 257 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,713 Keith. 258 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,636 Thanks very much. Good luck. 259 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,116 - Jenny. You've met Oliver? - Yes. 260 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,598 - Good lad. We were having a laugh earlier. - Yeah. 261 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:40,112 - Did you like that joke I told? - Yeah. It was funny. 262 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:44,393 - David, we've talked about this. - Yup. Interesting. 263 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,875 See you later, David. Goodbye. 264 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:54,032 She should chill out a bit more. Maybe a bit of the old ganja, know what I mean? 265 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,391 Course you do. Meetings would be different. 266 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:03,152 "David, I've called this meeting because I want you to get me some Hobnobs"! 267 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:11,274 Like in Scooby Doo, all those Scooby Snacks because he's got the munchies. 268 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,711 Dooby dooby doo! "Raggy!" 269 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:20,472 I was not advocating the use of drugs. I was talking to someone on their level. 270 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,956 I can communicate with people from all walks of life. 271 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,117 - Olive? - Mm. 272 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,278 - Snacks. - So when did you come up? 273 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,038 Saturday. 274 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,672 Saturday. 275 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,797 Was it your mum or your boyfriend drove you? 276 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,037 - No. My brother came up with me. - OK. 277 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:47,119 Have you got ties in Swindon or are you starting again here? 278 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,596 - I'll be going back weekends. - OK. 279 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,637 Sorry. So have you got a boyfriend or not? 280 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,956 No, I haven't. 281 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:04,397 - I think I left my drink over there... - See you in a bit. 282 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:11,190 Tim, I know you don't mean to but you're cramping my style. 283 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,517 - What? - I'm planning to get off with her. 284 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,838 - And what if I liked her? - I saw her first. 285 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,508 And how does that work? 286 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:29,629 You've won the argument doing that, have you? Of course. 287 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,630 Everyone's nice. 288 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,316 - Hi. - Hi. 289 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,829 - They came for the package. - Yeah? 290 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,031 - No problem. - Cool. 291 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,471 - I'm so bored. - Are you? 292 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,638 Do you want to wind up Gareth for a bit? 293 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,276 I don't think we should. He's a bit busy. 294 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:08,632 - So? - So am I, Dawn, actually. 295 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,796 So should you be. 296 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:23,515 - Is that where you're going to? - Mh-hm. A few things I need. 297 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:51,593 Dawn. I've been checking my diary. I've been overlooking something. So have you. 298 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:56,555 There's a 20 minute window here - "Wind up Gareth with Dawn." 299 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:00,036 So shall we do that? Shall we? 300 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,760 This way, please, madam. 301 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,316 (GARETH) I'm not in the mood. (TIM) Just a quick one. 302 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,830 - Did you see that film "Gay Lords Say No"? - No. 303 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,713 (GIGGLING) 304 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:26,508 Sorry. Hello. Could I have a quick word with everyone? 305 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,189 I'm mainly talking to the Swindon lot here. 306 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,632 Some of you seem to have got off on the wrong foot with me. 307 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,799 You didn't like some of the jokes I told earlier. 308 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:47,348 You've got to chill out. Trust me. This is what I do. All right? 309 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:52,190 You will never work in a place like this again. It's brilliant. Fact. 310 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,520 And you'll never have another boss like me - a chilled-out entertainer. 311 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:03,556 Some of you didn't understand the jokes and misinterpreted one and went to Jennifer. 312 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,992 OK. I'm a bit annoyed you'd go to Jennifer and not me. 313 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:12,557 Who was it that complained? It's not a witch hunt. Who was it? 314 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:14,910 Two of you. Good. 315 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:19,477 Why did you think you could go to Jennifer but not me? 316 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,797 I don't know you and I didn't like your jokes. 317 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:29,439 - You shouldn't be laughing at black people. - Funny that only two of you thought that. 318 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:35,272 - I didn't like it either. - Right. You're new. You don't know me. 319 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,517 - I'm not new and I find it offensive. - He didn't. 320 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,998 - What's he got to do with it? - He doesn't mind us laughing at him. 321 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,954 Why should only black people be offended by racism? 322 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:52,632 Good point. First sensible thing you've said all day. 323 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:57,789 I say, come one, come all, we're all the same. Let's... 324 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,197 That's why there's only one black guy here? 325 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,358 Wrong. Indian fella in the warehouse. 326 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:10,112 And an Indian fella used to work up here. He left. Didn't like it. Up to him. 327 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,869 I'd like the place to be full of 'em. Right, Gareth? 328 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:18,392 - Well, half and half. - You are half and half, aren't you? 329 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,115 - I'm mixed race. - That's my favourite. 330 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,199 That's the melting pot. Please. 331 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,756 So there's your racist for you. 332 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,678 So... 333 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,992 - He said melting pot! Oh, my God! - He did! 334 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,671 - He didn't actually do the fingers. - Let's just get on. 335 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,030 Let's just love each other. 336 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:02,791 # What David needs is a great big melting pot... # 337 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,513 Lee! 338 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,912 Dawn? 339 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,832 All right. 340 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,272 # So what becomes of you, my love 341 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:50,351 # When they have finally stripped you of 342 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,915 # The handbags and the gladrags 343 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:58,353 # That your granddad had to sweat so you could buy? # 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net