1 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,279 All right? Just another normal day at the office. 2 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,516 Just a normal day, innit? 3 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,553 What? What are you laughing at? 4 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,676 He's mad. Obviously, Red Nose Day. 5 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:47,158 It's always a good laugh. Keith? This is the sort of thing... 6 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,160 Ali G? Ali Keith! 7 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,911 Gareth, come here. Normal day, normal office. What are you doing? 8 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,271 I'm going to hop everywhere. I'm sponsored. 9 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,631 That's the sort of thing we'll be doing today. 10 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,150 We raised quite a lot last time, didn't we? 11 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:13,832 It is Comic Relief and we're raising money for people who are starving to death. 12 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:20,633 If I make people laugh while I'm saving lives, sue me, but... 13 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,273 Do it. 14 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,192 Boyakasha. 15 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:31,111 That's an accountant and that's the boss encouraging it! Is this normal? 16 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,710 I've got the "Slough Gazette" coming down. 17 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,354 - What time are they coming? - Five-ish. 18 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,676 - They'll love us. - It's just me. 19 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,996 - We can all be in it. - Not really. 20 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,670 - They'll love us. - Stop trying to worm into my photo. 21 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:01,117 Everyone's joining in. This young lady... Ooh, a bit saucy. 22 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,632 Selling kisses for the lads... or any ladies who like that... 23 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:11,312 I don't think there are any here, and if there are, good luck to them. 24 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:16,036 - It's different for girls. Lower risk. - Erotic. 25 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:21,997 Well, not in this case. I mean, it's not a sexual day. It's er... 26 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,352 - Here's the man. Finchy! - Brentmeister! 27 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:31,236 Kisses for a quid. It's a good cause. Do you mind kissing me on the nose? 28 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:36,036 - No. Put your quid in. - OK. Kiss me on the nose! 29 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,199 What do I get for a tenner? Squeal, piggy, squeal! 30 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,515 (GRUNTING AND SQUEALING) 31 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:04,079 - No. I'm not that desperate. - Who says famine has to be depressing? 32 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:21,911 (TIM) Don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against it, it's a good cause, 33 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:26,989 but I don't want to join in with someone else's idea of wackiness. 34 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:33,469 If you see someone collecting for Cancer Research because they've been affected by it 35 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:39,710 or an old bloke selling poppies, there's a dignity about it - a quiet dignity. 36 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,480 No. Come on, guys, leave it. 37 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,433 Leave it. Please! 38 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,952 And that's what today's all about - dignity. 39 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,879 No! No! 40 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,071 Always dignity. 41 00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:00,119 Bastard! My wife and kids are gonna see those! 42 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:20,431 There's people watching going, "Oi, Brent! Why are you bothering with Comic Relief? 43 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:26,078 "There's still people starving." That's why I'm still doing it. You should too. 44 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:31,718 Probably put a number up there, shall we? If people want to make donations. 45 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:37,597 I hear people go, "The money just goes to hungry foreigners." Not true. 46 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:42,396 A lot of it stays in this country and goes to home-grown problems... 47 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:47,196 AKA the disableds. A lot of money goes to these fellas. 48 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,517 Not to you. You don't need it, you're working. 49 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:56,317 If you do claim for it, that's up to you, as long as you don't abuse the system. 50 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,159 - A lot of them are. - What do you mean? 51 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,157 People abuse the system. 52 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,158 - Ensure people who say they're crippled... - Disabled. 53 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,316 ...actually are... - Disabled. 54 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:10,513 You think people pretend to be disabled to claim money off the DSS? 55 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,030 - I think there should be tests. - (TIM) What tests? 56 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,674 Stick pins in their legs, see if they react. 57 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,077 I have feeling in my legs. I just can't walk. 58 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:24,398 - I'm just saying there should be tests. - We're all ears. 59 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,195 I dunno. When they go down the DSS to make a claim, 60 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:33,520 they should set off a fake fire alarm so everyone legs it, leaving them there. 61 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:39,431 If they're fake, they'll be running with you. If not, they'll be screaming for help. 62 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:47,433 Then you come back in and say, "Don't cry. You've passed. Here's your money." 63 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:52,077 Spend it on one of those little blue cars or whatever... 64 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,396 It's just one idea. 65 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,352 So... 66 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:01,156 She's joining in with it. Do you want to put this nose on? 67 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:05,319 - No, I don't. - It's up to you. Her own decisions. 68 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,789 Gareth, you know I'm doing kisses for a pound too. 69 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,834 - I wouldn't pay you if you were. - I'll put your pound in. 70 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,999 - So you can kiss me. - I wouldn't kiss you if you paid me. 71 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:31,354 I am paying. It's quite simple. As it's for charity, I need to just get... 72 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,791 - Why are you such a bender? - I'm just... 73 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,630 Get off! I'm not kissing you. You are such a pervert! 74 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:44,231 - It feels good, though. - Get off! I hope you're getting all this. 75 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,876 I hope your girlfriend knows or she'll get a big surprise. 76 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:54,474 Is that your big surprise? I've found his big surprise. All right. OK. 77 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,518 - Flipping heck. - You take things too far. 78 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,235 All right. Don't get so het up about it. 79 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,713 Ha ha! Hoo! Hah! 80 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,957 That was one way. I didn't kiss him back. 81 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,236 He's funny. He's a funny bastard. 82 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,830 (EXCITED SHOUTING) 83 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,271 - Pass it back. - You got it? 84 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,232 Yep. You got it. 85 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,791 Gather round, everybody. We've got a surprise for you. 86 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:38,109 - Remember where we were in that game. - Sheila? Nice costume. You look fantastic. 87 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:45,271 Please give a big warm welcome to the fantastic Neil Godwin and the lovely Rachel. 88 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,675 OK. It's that time again. 89 00:07:54,120 --> 00:08:00,389 We've both suffered for our art here, please suffer with us and give generously. 90 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,592 Thanks. Jennifer, could you do the honours? 91 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:10,433 (MUSIC: "MORE THAN A WOMAN" BY THE BEE GEES) 92 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:17,753 # Oh, girl, I've known you very well I've seen you growing every day 93 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,431 # I've never really looked before but now you take my breath away 94 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:26,918 # Suddenly you're in my life a part of everything I do 95 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:31,557 # You got me working day and night just trying to keep a hold on you 96 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:36,515 # Here in your arms I found my paradise 97 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,757 # My only chance for happiness 98 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,839 # And if I lose you now I think I would die 99 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:49,591 # Oh, say you'll always be my baby we can make it shine 100 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:56,831 # We can take forever just a minute at a time 101 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,031 # More than a woman 102 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,832 # Baby More than a woman to me... # 103 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,396 (MUSIC: "YOU SHOULD BE DANCING" BY THE BEE GEES) 104 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,909 # My baby moves at midnight 105 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,351 # Goes right on till the dawn 106 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,594 # My woman takes me higher 107 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,996 # My woman keeps me warm 108 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,077 That looks gay. 109 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:28,670 # What you doin' on your back? Aah 110 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,031 # What you doin' on your back? Aah 111 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,869 # You should be dancing, yeah 112 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,637 # Dancing, yeah... # 113 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,354 Thank you very much. You can add that to yours. 114 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:09,680 Cheers. I've already raised more than that. £300 we did last time. 115 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:14,271 If you wanted dancing, you should have come to me. 116 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,358 - Do you dance? - Big time. Yeah. 117 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:23,510 More modern steps than that. I've fused "Flashdance" with MC Hammer shit. 118 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,074 - All right. Show us your moves. - No, there's no beat. 119 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,716 - Come on! - He had music. 120 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,356 Well... Just for charity, I'll do a little bit. 121 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,630 # Do do do-do do dah... # 122 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,276 (ALL CONTINUE) 123 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,555 (ONLY DAVID CONTINUES TO HUM) 124 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,197 - So... That's... - Great, David. 125 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,432 - Give me a bit of warning... - We have to give a donation for that? 126 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:39,829 All the money collected is for both dances - both excellent dances in their way. 127 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:45,876 Mine was impromptu, but I don't think you should get extra points for that. 128 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,392 Make your own minds up. Leave me out of it. It's for charity. 129 00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:01,432 You've seen me entertain and raise money. Maybe I'd like to do that for a living. 130 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:06,316 Use my humour and my profile to both help and amuse people. 131 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:12,038 And if it's ideas for TV shows - game shows or whatever - I'm your man. 132 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,279 I'm exploring that avenue with my management training, 133 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,994 but I'd like to do that on a global scale. 134 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:24,752 It's not, "Look at me. I'm entertaining whilst saving lives. Aren't I brilliant?" 135 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,633 It's going, "If you think I'm brilliant, 136 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:32,595 "help save these guys who are starving, but are also brilliant." 137 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,270 Not as entertainers. A lot of them can't speak English. 138 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,917 Don't give them a game show, but save them from dying at least. 139 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,829 Then maybe they can do something in their own country 140 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,874 on television or whatever they have... the wireless. 141 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,914 Give them a job on the World Service or something. 142 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:09,837 We're from the local mental hospital. Is Gareth Keenan here? He's escaped. 143 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,713 - He is mental. - Here's my crew. 144 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,115 Kisses for a quid. Yes. 145 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,111 My mad mates. That's all we need. 146 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,517 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 147 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:42,953 - Sorry about this. My mad mates. - Er... Well... 148 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:47,995 - They finally came to take you away! - Are you mad as well? 149 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,509 - Guilty! - He's the boss. 150 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,713 - Give us a job. - I've already got one reprobate. 151 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,514 Jimmy the Perv and the Oggmonster. 152 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:02,271 What's the weather like up there? Your parents put you in a gro-bag? 153 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:07,270 - "Let's grow a lanky, goggle-eyed freak!" - No need to get offensive. 154 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,994 - I didn't call you Fatty. - All right... 155 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:15,399 Don't have a go at the eyes, because that's astigmatism I've had from the age of five. 156 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,273 That's what makes them a bit bulbous. 157 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:23,076 - I didn't call you whale man. - But I don't call myself the mong boy. 158 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,158 - The Oggmonster. - I'm not calling you that. 159 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,113 - That's my name. - What's your real name? 160 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:33,552 - Nathan. - It's a good name. I'll call you Nathan. 161 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,877 I didn't call you Fatty! 162 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,753 (DAVID) What's the matter with him? 163 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:55,718 I've got a sponsorship form for Comic Relief. I wanted to enter into the spirit. 164 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,549 Gents, sorry to interrupt. Would you sponsor me? 165 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:05,118 I have to hide as many of Gareth's possessions as I can from him. 166 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,790 - What? - Hiding Gareth's belongings. 167 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,232 - I'll give you £2 for the lot. - That's a generous offer. 168 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,716 They're waiting for me. 169 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,268 Break it up. Put her down! 170 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,234 No, they wouldn't. She wouldn't. Her husband's loaded. 171 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,396 He does OK. 172 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,116 Oh, dear. 173 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,268 - What a day! He's still... - David, do you have that report? 174 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,315 - Glad you brought that up. - That's why I'm here. 175 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,399 Yes. Um... Formulating a lot of good ideas... 176 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,752 I don't want to talk about a report we're going to do soon. 177 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:54,715 I want the report we talked about four days ago that was due today. 178 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,877 You know how important this report is. 179 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,039 I discover that this is the fruit of your labours. 180 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:09,109 - Don't go through my stuff. - Read the first sentence for Jennifer. 181 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,879 "Imagine a cross between 'Telly Addicts' and 'Noel's House Party'. 182 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:24,108 "You've just imagined 'Upstairs Downstairs', devised and hosted by David Brent." 183 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,834 David, I don't understand this. 184 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,912 - Contestants run upstairs and get a clue... - Not the game show! 185 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,112 I don't understand why you haven't done the report, 186 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,869 or your consistent failure to do what is asked of you. 187 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:44,392 You're viewing my methods like there's something missing. 188 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:49,958 You're looking at the jigsaw that it is through a keyhole when you should be... 189 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:55,716 - Some words would be useful. - Actions speak louder than words. 190 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,718 You're on a warning. That's my action. 191 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:03,152 Three strikes and you're out and things have got to change. 192 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:11,114 Fine. Give me all three now, then, because I'd love to see you run this place. 193 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,518 You'd have a mutiny on your hands, but if that's what you want... 194 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,679 That's not what I want. I want you doing your job. 195 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,917 - Take the verbal warning... - Still the warning? 196 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:28,114 ...learn from it and let's move onwards and upwards. OK? 197 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:35,834 Neil makes me laugh, though. It's his interfering. It's his timing. 198 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,396 Going on about some report. It's Red Nose Day. 199 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:44,355 What's more important? You, Neil, with your report or starving children? 200 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,996 Oh, I don't know. What would Lenny Henry say? 201 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,634 Imagine him going out on Comic Relief day 202 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:55,595 and Dawn French is going, "You haven't done the washing up." 203 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,793 "Do it yourself! I've got to save some Africans!" 204 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,359 - What are you reading? - A holiday brochure. 205 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,313 Why is that, then? Going on holiday? 206 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,954 - Possibly. - Where to? 207 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,912 The States. 208 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,677 - United States? - Yeah. 209 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:32,552 Don't know if you've heard the gossip, but Tim's going out with Rachel. 210 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:38,437 - Er... yeah. I'd heard. - He used to fancy you, didn't he? 211 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,279 - Did he? - Yeah, he did. 212 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,438 And now he's found someone better. 213 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,198 Yup. 214 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,876 - Seen my phone? - Huh? 215 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,036 Where's my phone? 216 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,712 - Have you got...? - No. 217 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,673 Where have you put my phone? 218 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,476 - I don't believe it! - Gareth... 219 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,958 - I've told you not to touch my stuff. - Listen... 220 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:21,312 - It's for charity. - What else have you taken? My tiny tanks! 221 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,638 - How am I supposed to work? - You'll have to hop to it. 222 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:34,869 - A lot of crime in America. - Right. Well, I'll be careful. 223 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:40,712 Word of advice. Keep your traveller's cheques in a bum-bag. 224 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,949 Thanks. I'll buy one. 225 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,354 - When you get there? - Yup. 226 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:54,474 Word of warning, then. Out there they call them fanny packs. 227 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,317 'Cause fanny means your arse over there... 228 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,953 ...not your minge. 229 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,277 Where's...? God, you're so immature! 230 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:21,109 - I demand that... - Gareth's stopped hopping. 231 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,959 - How can I do any work? - It's for charity. 232 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,118 - It's for you winding me up. - He's stopped hopping. 233 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:31,598 I don't have to hop all day. It's just when I'm moving. 234 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,870 - Where does it say that? - See? 235 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:39,393 That's mine, for a start. Where's the rest of it? 236 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:45,311 Gareth. OK, Gareth. Just calm down. Have a seat. You've been on your foot all day. 237 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,239 God! How do you hide a chair? 238 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,198 - Dawny. Take that? - Yeah. 239 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,550 You all right? All right? 240 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:10,470 There you go. Prawn and avocado. See you later. 241 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,150 - You're not going to eat here? - I've gotta get back. 242 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,396 I made £19 today. 243 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,832 Any of it going to English kids or all going abroad? 244 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,158 Well... Stop moaning and give her a quid for a kiss. 245 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:28,591 - I'm not paying for it, mate. - Them's the rules. 246 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,519 - All right. - Thank you. 247 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,234 There you go. Come here, you. 248 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,349 Good. That's great. 249 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,557 - See ya. - See ya. 250 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:50,119 Right. Oh... My contribution. 251 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,551 Thank you. Where do you want your kiss? Your kiss? 252 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,070 - It's all right. - You've got to have a kiss. 253 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,236 It's the rules. 254 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,354 - What you doing? - Just working. 255 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:41,795 I'm very, very, very bored. 256 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,959 Excuse me. Desk procedures. Chairs are for sitting on. 257 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,630 He's jealous he's not getting the view you're getting. 258 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,229 Wrong. I got the arse this side. 259 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:57,514 I'd only want to be there if you had on a skirt and I could look up there at it. 260 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,958 - Aren't you going to defend my honour? - No. 261 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:06,870 - You'd better get off the table. - He's embarrassed by his girlfriend! 262 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,559 I'm not. 263 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,551 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 264 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,556 We're cool. 265 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,676 - Today or tomorrow? - Tomorrow lunchtime. 266 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,755 - Excuse me, David. - Yes. 267 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:40,954 - Can we have another quick word? - Not now. I'm running downstairs. 268 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,277 "The Gazette" are coming in to take my picture. 269 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,837 I'm going to be in the paper. Wernham-Hogg are. Free advertising. 270 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,315 - This shouldn't take long. - OK. 271 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:56,548 Sorry to spring this on you. We've been discussing something you said earlier - 272 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,911 it's something we've been thinking about too. 273 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,677 We'd like to offer you a very generous redundancy package. 274 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:14,039 Are you offering it or telling me I've got to take it? 275 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:20,954 - We're telling you to take it. - We'll put in a proper meeting tomorrow. 276 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:29,518 That's good timing, isn't it? Telling me that today. The day of laughter. 277 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,199 Brilliant. 278 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,750 That's that ruined. That's what I was... 279 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,194 It's got pockets and everything. 280 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,638 Now I'll try and go down and be funny. 281 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,550 That's going to be good, isn't it? 282 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,912 With that going through. 283 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,031 I knew you were planning something. 284 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,596 Jennifer, do you agree? Because we can... 285 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,754 I'll be all right. I've got other irons in the fire. 286 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,032 It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 287 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:27,190 I'm going to love to see you telling that lot, because you'll have a mutiny. 288 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,756 They will go berserk. Definitely. 289 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,389 If that's it, can you leave now, please? 290 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:41,948 I've got stuff to do. I've got laughter... I've got money to raise. Mouths to feed. 291 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,276 - Thanks for your time. - Yeah. 292 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,675 If you're wondering what that meeting was just about in there... 293 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,236 That's it. I've been made redundant. 294 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,993 Yeah. 295 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:26,709 After it was me who saved others from redundancy. And then it's back... 296 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,069 The good die young. 297 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:36,276 But um... Yes... I said you lot are going mental. 298 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,717 Now I've got to go and give laughter. 299 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,358 But... 300 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,792 See ya. 301 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,713 Eh? 302 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,473 See ya. 303 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,556 OK. Can you just make it peck? 304 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,673 Just run around a bit. 305 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,273 Yeah. 306 00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:27,793 Good. 307 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,553 Good. 308 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,391 OK. 309 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,831 - Smile. It's for Comic Relief. - Can I stand here? 310 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,349 Peck at your mates like Roy Hudd. 311 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,835 - Rod Hull. - Yeah. Just do that. 312 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,673 Good. 313 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,233 Yeah. 314 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,671 - OK. That's fine. - All right? 315 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:03,954 It's a bit dark. I didn't bring a flash. Probably won't be able to use these. 316 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,998 - Don't be disappointed. - No. 317 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,156 - Thank you. - Cheers. 318 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,239 - Well done, David. - No worries. 319 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,278 - Did I miss it? - Yes. 320 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:29,318 # So what becomes of you, my love, 321 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:35,631 # When they have finally stripped you of 322 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,115 # The handbags and the gladrags 323 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:43,269 # That your granddad had to sweat so you could buy... # 324 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:47,953 Boyakasha. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net