1 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:33,465 All right, Jim, 2 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,235 your quarterlies look very good. 3 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:37,703 How are things going at the library? 4 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,005 Oh, I told you. I couldn't close it, so... 5 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:43,509 So you've come to the master for guidance? 6 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,111 Is this what you're saying, Grasshopper? 7 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,946 Uh, actually, you called me in here. 8 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,314 But, yeah. 9 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:52,051 All right, well, let me show you how it's done. 10 00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,720 Yes, I'd like to speak to your office manager, please. 11 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,889 Yes, hello. This is Michael Scott. 12 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,390 I am the Regional Manager 13 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,559 of Dunder Mifflin paper products. 14 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,662 Just wanted to talk to you manager a manager. 15 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,000 All right, done deal! 16 00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,368 Thank you very much, sir! 17 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:13,038 You're gentleman and a scholar. 18 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,840 Oh, I'm sorry. 19 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,208 Okay. I'm sorry. 20 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,210 My mistake. 21 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,513 That was a woman I was talking to. 22 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:24,683 So. She had a very low voice. 23 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,752 Probably a smoker. 24 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:30,255 So... 25 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,857 So that's the way it's done. 26 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,359 I've, uh, I've been at Dunder Mifflin 27 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,561 for 12 years. 28 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,996 The last four as regional manager. 29 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,233 Uh, if you wanna come through here. 30 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,868 Ah, see, we have the entire floor. 31 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:45,604 So this is my kingdom, far as the eye can see. 32 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,073 Ah, this is our receptionist Pam. 33 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,942 Pam! Pam, Pam! 34 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,176 Pam Beasley. 35 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:54,913 Uh, Pam has been with us, um... for... forever. 36 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,014 Right, Pam? 37 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,082 Well, I don't know. 38 00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,217 If you think she's cute now, 39 00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,751 you should have seen her a couple of years ago. 40 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,053 Reow, reow. 41 00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:02,054 What? 42 00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:03,589 Uh, any messages? 43 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:06,458 Um... yeah. Just a fax. 44 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,393 Oh. 45 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,728 Pam, this is from corporate. 46 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,029 How many times have I told you I know... 47 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,331 that there's a special filing cabinet 48 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:13,832 for things from corporate? 49 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:14,867 You haven't told me... 50 00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,189 It's called the wastepaper basket! 51 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,939 Look at that! 52 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,674 Oh, look at that face. 53 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,010 People say I am the best boss. 54 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,378 They go, 55 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,113 "God, we've never worked in a place like this before. 56 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,015 "You're hilarious. 57 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:32,184 And you get the best out of us." 58 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:34,920 Um... 59 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:38,624 I think that pretty much sums it up. 60 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,792 I found it at Spencer Gifts. 61 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:03,882 My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone, 62 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:07,319 about... uh, quantities 63 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:12,558 and, uh, type of... copier paper. 64 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,727 You know, whether we can supply it to them, 65 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,564 whether they can, uh... 66 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:19,598 pay for it. 67 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,767 And, um... 68 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:28,540 I'm... I'm boring myself just talking about this. 69 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,346 Wassuuuup? 70 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:35,847 Wassuuuup? 71 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,716 I still love that after seven years. 72 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,785 Whasuuuup? 73 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,254 Whasuuuup? 74 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,056 Whasuuuuuuuuuup? 75 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:46,625 Whassup? 76 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,859 Oh, wow. 77 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,806 What? 78 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:02,441 Nothin'. 79 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,009 Okay, all right. 80 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,277 See you later. 81 00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,246 All right. 82 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,614 Take care. 83 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,182 Back to work! 84 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,455 Just try to reach him sometime today. 85 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,724 Um, I don't know, just before lunch. 86 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,659 That would be great. 87 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,327 Corporate really doesn't interfere with me at all. 88 00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:23,395 Jan Levenson-Gould... 89 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,097 Jan! Hello! 90 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,599 I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton. 91 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,868 Right? Not to her face, because, uh... 92 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,504 Well, not because I'm scared of her. 93 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,306 Because I'm not. 94 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:37,276 But, um, yeah. 95 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,378 All right, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda? 96 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:43,782 Mmm... me no get an agenda. 97 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,417 I'm sor... What? I'm sorry? 98 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:46,852 I didn't get any agenda. 99 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,654 Well, I faxed one over to you this morning. 100 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,889 Really? 'Cause it didn't, uh, I didn't... 101 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,991 Did we get a fax this morning? 102 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,626 Uh, yeah, the one... 103 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:58,397 Then why... why isn't it in my hand? 104 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,732 Because a company runs on efficiency of communication. 105 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,467 Right? Just... 106 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,169 Um, so what's the problem, Pam? 107 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:07,005 Why didn't, uh, why didn't I get it? 108 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,107 You put it in the garbage can 109 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,176 that was a special filing cabinet. 110 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,381 Yeah! Uh, that was a joke. 111 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,916 That was a joke that, uh, 112 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,751 was actually my brother's. 113 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:20,852 And it was... 114 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,220 it was supposed to be with bills, 115 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,588 and it doesn't work great with faxes. 116 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,990 - Do you wanna look at mine? - Yeah. 117 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,792 Yeah, I would. Thank you. 118 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,860 Okay, since the last meeting, 119 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,362 Alan and the board have decided 120 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,164 that we can't justify a Scranton branch 121 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,365 and a Stanford branch. 122 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,533 Oh, okay. 123 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,600 Michael, don't panic... 124 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,935 No, no, no, no. This is good. 125 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,537 This is good. This is fine, excellent. 126 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,571 Michael, listen, okay, don't panic. 127 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,106 Although alarm bells are kinda going 128 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,041 - ringy dingy dingy! - We haven't made any decisions yet. 129 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,242 I've spoken to Josh in Stanford. 130 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,844 I've told him the same as you, 131 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,579 and it's up to either you or him to convince me 132 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,647 that your branch can incorporate the other. 133 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,148 Okay, no problem. 134 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,750 This does, however, mean that there's going to be downsizing. 135 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,852 Me no wanna hear that, Jan. 136 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,088 Because downsizing is a bitch. 137 00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:58,490 It is a real bitch. 138 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:01,727 And I wouldn't wish that on Josh's men. 139 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,795 I certainly wouldn't wish it on my men. 140 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,365 Or women, present company excluded. 141 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,733 Sorry, uh... 142 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:11,103 Is Josh concerned about downsizing, himself? 143 00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,337 Not downsizing himself, 144 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,779 but is he concerned about downsizing? 145 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,077 Ha ha ha ha! 146 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,779 Question: How long do we have to act... 147 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,317 Oh, Todd Packer. Terrific rep. 148 00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:26,451 Do you mind if I take it? 149 00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:27,619 Go right ahead. 150 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,854 Packman. 151 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,155 Hey, you big queen! 152 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,957 Oh, that's not... appropriate. 153 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,593 Hey, is old Godzillary coming in today? 154 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,094 Um, I don't know. I don't know what you mean. 155 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,197 Look, I've been meaning to ask her one question. 156 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,199 Does the carpet match the drapes? 157 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,667 Oh, my God. 158 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,136 Ohh! 159 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:46,972 That's... horrifying. 160 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,708 And horrible. 161 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,611 Horrible person. 162 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,847 So do you think we could keep a lid on this for now? 163 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,682 I don't wanna worry people unnecessarily. 164 00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:58,884 No, absolutely. 165 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,185 Under this regime, 166 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,853 it will not leave this office. 167 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,455 Just... like that. 168 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,624 So what does downsizing actually mean? 169 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,058 Well... 170 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,960 You guys gotta update your resumes, 171 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:09,961 just like I'm doing. 172 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,530 I bet it's gonna be me. 173 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,765 It's probably gonna be me. 174 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,367 Yeah, it'll be you. 175 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:16,768 I have an important question for you. 176 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,270 Yes? 177 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,072 Um, are you going to Angela's cat party on Sunday? 178 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,608 Yeah. Stop. That is ridiculous. 179 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,444 Am I gonna tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. 180 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,611 I don't see the point of that. 181 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,947 As a doctor, you would not tell a patient 182 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,515 if they had cancer. 183 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,616 Hey! 184 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,385 - Hey! - This is Mr. Scott. 185 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,353 Guilty! Guilty as charged. 186 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,988 Ryan Howard from the temp agency. 187 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:37,989 Uh-huh. 188 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,324 Daniqua sent me down to start today. 189 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,726 Howard, like Moe Howard, Three Stooges. 190 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,562 Watch this, this is Moe. 191 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:44,963 Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! 192 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,499 Meeeeh! Ha ha! 193 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,134 Ah, right here. Three Stooges. 194 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,969 High five! Oh, Pam. 195 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,471 It's a guy thing, Pam. 196 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,574 I'm sort of a student of comedy. 197 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,576 Watch this... 198 00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,218 I'm Hitler! 199 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,686 Adolf Hitler... 200 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,522 I don't think it would be 201 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,458 the worst thing if they let me go. 202 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,961 Because then I might... 203 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,762 I just, I don't think it's many little girls' dream 204 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,165 to be a receptionist. 205 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,267 Um, I like to do illustrations. 206 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:25,971 Um, mostly watercolor. 207 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,473 A few oil pencil. Um... 208 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,242 Jim thinks they're good. 209 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:32,110 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 210 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:35,013 Sure. Uh, Mr. Davis, let me call you right back. 211 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,615 Yeah, something just came up. Two minutes. 212 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,783 Thank you very much. 213 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,085 Dwight, what are you doing? 214 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,786 - What? - What are you doing? 215 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,622 Just clearing my desk. I can't concentrate. 216 00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:44,656 It's not on your desk. 217 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,857 It's overlapping. 218 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,526 It's all spilling over the edge. 219 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,595 One word, two syllables: demarcation. 220 00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:00,305 You can't do that. 221 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,140 Why not? 222 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,943 Safety violation. I could fall and pierce... 223 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,177 an organ. 224 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,680 We'll see. 225 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,286 See, this is why the whole downsizing thing 226 00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:16,054 - just doesn't bother me. - Downsizing? 227 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,522 Downsizing? 228 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,024 Yeah, I have no problem with that. 229 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,159 I have been recommending downsizing 230 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,094 since I first got here. 231 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,397 I even brought it up in my interview. 232 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,933 I say bring it on. 233 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,303 You just still have these messages from yesterday. 234 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:33,138 Relax, everything's under control. 235 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,440 Uh, yeah. There we go, yeah. 236 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,275 Oh, that's important. Rrrright. 237 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:41,246 Oh, this is so important I should run to answer it. 238 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,914 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 239 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,150 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 240 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,452 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 241 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,688 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 242 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,556 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 243 00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,159 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 244 00:09:54,161 --> 00:10:00,799 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 245 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,833 What? 246 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,368 Come on! 247 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,970 Six Million Dollar Man! 248 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,171 Steve Austin! 249 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,540 Actually, that would be a good salary for me, 250 00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,674 don't you think? 251 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:10,775 $6 million? 252 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,445 Memo to Jan: I deserve a raise. 253 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:14,913 Don't we all? 254 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,448 I'm sorry? 255 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,950 It's nothing. 256 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,886 If you're unhappy with your compensation, 257 00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,055 maybe you should take it up with H.R. 258 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,156 Okay? 259 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,725 Not today, okay? 260 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,094 Pam, just... be professional. 261 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,067 I think I'm a role model here. 262 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,869 I think I garner people's respect. 263 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,739 Attention all Dunder Mifflin employees, please. 264 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,374 We have a meeting in the conference room 265 00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:44,175 A.S.A.P. 266 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,411 People I respect, heroes of mine, would be... 267 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,613 Bob Hope. 268 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:53,218 Um... Abraham Lincoln. 269 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,654 Definitely. 270 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,758 Bono. 271 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,527 Uh, and probably God... 272 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,897 would be the fourth one. 273 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,899 And I just think all those people 274 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:11,269 really helped the world 275 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,072 in so many ways 276 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,841 that it's, um... 277 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,877 it's really beyond words. 278 00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:23,915 It's really incalcalacable. 279 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,583 Now, I know there are some rumors out there, 280 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,052 and I just kinda wanna set the record straight... 281 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,920 I'm Assistant Regional Manger. I should know first. 282 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,422 Assistant to the Regional Manager. 283 00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:32,490 Okay, um, can you just tell me, please? 284 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,325 Just tell me quietly. Whisper it in my ear. 285 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,727 I'm just about to tell everyone. 286 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,228 - Can't you just tell us... - Please! 287 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,697 Okay? Do you want me to tell them? 288 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,365 You don't know what it is. 289 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,034 Okay, you tell them. With my permission. 290 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,436 - I don't need... - Permission granted. Go ahead. 291 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:47,472 Corporate has deemed it appropriate 292 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:50,608 to enforce an ultimatum upon me. 293 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,511 And, uh, Jan is thinking about downsizing 294 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,181 either the Stanford branch or this branch. 295 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,850 I heard they might be closing this branch down. 296 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,219 That's just... 297 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,420 That's just the rumor going around. 298 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,822 This is my first day, I don't really know. 299 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,790 Yeah, but, Michael, what if they downsize here? 300 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:06,925 Not gonna happen. 301 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,159 It could be out of your hands, Michael. 302 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:11,463 It won't be out of my hands, Stanley, okay? 303 00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:12,530 I promise you that. 304 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,631 Oh, can you promise that? 305 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:14,899 On his mother's grave. 306 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,334 Well... 307 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,669 No! 308 00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:19,704 Well, yeah, it is a promise. 309 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,473 And, frankly, I'm a little bit insulted 310 00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:23,641 that you have to keep asking about it. 311 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,043 It's just that we need to know. 312 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,712 I-I know. Hold on a second. 313 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,080 I think Pam wanted to say something. 314 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,850 Pam, you, uh... 315 00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,552 had a look that you wanted to ask a question 316 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:37,055 just now. 317 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,857 I was in the meeting with Jan, 318 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,226 and she did say that it could be this branch 319 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,393 that gets the axe. 320 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,529 Are you sure about that? 321 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,797 Look, Pam... 322 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,132 Uh, maybe you should stick 323 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:50,268 to the ongoing confidentiality agreement of meetings. 324 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,337 Pam, information is power. 325 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,505 So... 326 00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:54,773 So you can't say for sure 327 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,241 whether it's gonna be us or them, can you? 328 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,275 No, no, no, no. 329 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,643 Stanley, no. 330 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,879 You did not see me in there with her. 331 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,648 I said if, uh, if corporate 332 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,717 wants to come in here and interfere, 333 00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,619 then they're gonna have to go through me. 334 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:08,820 Right? 335 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,922 You know, you can go mess with Josh's people. 336 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,791 But I'm the head of this family, 337 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:16,628 and you ain't gonna be messin' with my chillun'. 338 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,270 If I left, what would I do with... 339 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:28,740 all this useless information in my head? 340 00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:33,344 You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? 341 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,847 Um, Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, 342 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,115 which is mixed berry. 343 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:42,887 Jim said mixed berries? 344 00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:47,892 Oh, well, yeah, he's on to me. 345 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,961 Um... 346 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,230 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch out for this guy. 347 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,065 Dwight Schrute in the building. 348 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,133 This is Ryan, the new temp. 349 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,267 - What's up? - Nice to meet you. 350 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,635 Introduce yourself. Be polite. 351 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,904 Uh, Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager. 352 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,006 Assistant to the Regional Manager. 353 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,676 So, uh, Dwight, tell him about the Kung Fu 354 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,711 and the car and everything. 355 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:09,480 Uh, yeah, I got a '78280Z. 356 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:10,915 I bought it for 1,200, fixed it up. 357 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:11,916 It's now worth three grand. 358 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:12,951 That is his profit. 359 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,752 Yeah, uh, new engine, suspension. 360 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,121 I got a respray. I got some photos. 361 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,390 Oh! Damn it! 362 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,391 Damn it! I... 363 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,460 Hold on, hold on. Judge is in session. 364 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:23,995 What is the problem here? 365 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,397 He put my stuff in Jell-O again! 366 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,034 That's real professional. Thanks. 367 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,803 This is the third time, and it wasn't funny 368 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:32,971 the first two times either, Jim! 369 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,405 It's okay here. 370 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,774 Uh, but people sometimes take advantage 371 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,276 because it's so relaxed. 372 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:42,247 I'm a volunteer sheriff's deputy on the weekends. 373 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,816 And you cannot screw around there. 374 00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,885 It's sort of one of the rules. 375 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,886 What is that? 376 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:48,887 That's my stapler. 377 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,822 No, no! Do not take it out. 378 00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,557 You have to eat it out of there, 379 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,225 because there are starving people in the world, 380 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,293 and, which I hate, 381 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,362 and it it is a waste of that kind of food. 382 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,663 You know what? You can be a witness. 383 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,064 Can you reprimand him, please? 384 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,201 How do you know it was me? 385 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,269 It's always you. 386 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:05,503 Are you gonna discipline him or not? 387 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,438 Ooh, discipline, kinky! 388 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,174 All right, here's the deal, you guys. 389 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:12,777 Thing about a practical joke is that you have to know 390 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,013 when to start as well as when to stop. 391 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,247 And, yeah, 392 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,683 Jim, now is the time 393 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,419 to stop putting Dwight's personal effects 394 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,922 into Jell-O. 395 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,356 Okay. 396 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,225 Dwight, I'm sorry, because... 397 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:30,228 I have always been your biggest flan. 398 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,464 Ho ho ho, nice! 399 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,233 That's the way it is around here. 400 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,968 It just kind of goes round and round and round. 401 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,270 You, uh, you should have put him in "custardy." 402 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,039 Oh, hey! Yes! 403 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,641 New guy! And he scores. 404 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,776 Okay, that's great. 405 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,744 I guess what I'm most concerned with 406 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,380 is damage to company property. 407 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,149 That's all. 408 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,187 Pudding. 409 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,956 Putting. 410 00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:01,426 I'm trying to think what other dessert to do. 411 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:06,097 Do you like going out at the end of the week for a drink? 412 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,265 Yeah. 413 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,300 Well, that's why we're all going out. 414 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,668 So that we can have an end-of-the-week drink. 415 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:11,769 So when are we going out? 416 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,338 I don't know. Tonight, hopefully. 417 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,539 Okay, yeah. 418 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:18,176 Hey, man. 419 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,177 Hey! What's going on? 420 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,178 - Hi, baby. - Hey. 421 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,213 Uh, Roy is my fiancé. 422 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,949 We've been engaged about, um... 423 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,818 about three years. 424 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,654 And, uh, we were supposed to get married in September, 425 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:33,424 but I think we're gonna get married in the spring. 426 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,761 Do you mind if I go out for a drink with these guys? 427 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,296 Uh, no, no, come on. 428 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,298 Let's get out of here, go home. 429 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,201 Okay, um, I'm gonna be a few minutes, though. 430 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,370 It's only 20 past 5:00. 431 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,071 I still have to do my faxes. 432 00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:53,945 You know what? You should come with us. 433 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,313 Because, you know, we're all going out, 434 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,215 and it could be a good chance for you to... 435 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,183 see what people are like outside of the office. 436 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,985 You know, I think it could be fun. 437 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,253 No, it sounds good. 438 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,388 Oh, no. 439 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,622 Seriously, we gotta get going. 440 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,090 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 441 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:19,837 Um... what's in the... what's in the bag? 442 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,339 Just tell her I'll talk to her later. 443 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,074 No, definitely. All right, dude, awesome. 444 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,609 Will do. 445 00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:29,680 Do I think 446 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,483 I'll be invited to the wedding? 447 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,860 So, uh, have you felt a vibe yet? 448 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,562 We work hard, we play hard. 449 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,764 Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. 450 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,032 Right? 451 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,436 Um, I guess the atmosphere that I've created here 452 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,438 is that I'm a friend first 453 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,139 and a boss second. 454 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:56,741 Probably, uh... 455 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,875 Entertainer third. 456 00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,845 Just a second! Right? 457 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,414 Oh, hey, do you, uh, 458 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,383 do you like The Jamie Kennedy Experiment? 459 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,984 - Yeah. - Punk'd and all that kind of stuff? 460 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,453 Okay, um... 461 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,687 you are gonna be my accomplice. 462 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:10,988 Just go along with it, okay? 463 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,523 - All right. - Just follow my lead. 464 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,525 Don't pimp me, all right? Come in! 465 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,528 - So, uh, corporate just said that I don't want to... - You got a fax. 466 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,963 Oh, thank you, Pam. 467 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,365 Pam, can you come in here for a sec? 468 00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:22,600 Just have a seat. 469 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,868 I was gonna call you in anyway. 470 00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:26,304 Um, you know Ryan. 471 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,573 Um, as you know, 472 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,708 there's going to be downsizing. 473 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:35,646 And you have made my life so much easier 474 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:40,218 in that I am going to have to let you go first. 475 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,120 What? Why? 476 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,222 Why? Well, theft. 477 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,389 And stealing. 478 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:46,390 Stealing? 479 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:47,492 Mm-hmm. 480 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:50,561 Um, what am I supposed to have stolen? 481 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,263 Post-it notes. 482 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,798 - Post-it notes? - Yeah. 483 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,666 What are those worth, like, 50 cents? 484 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,968 50 cents, yeah. 485 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,170 You steal 1,000 Post-It notes at 50 cents apiece, 486 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:02,740 and, you know, you've made a profit... margin. 487 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,243 You know, gonna run us out of business, Pam. 488 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,078 Are you serious? 489 00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,014 Yeah, I, um... 490 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,850 Oh, my... I can't believe this. 491 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,753 I mean, I've never even stolen as much as a paper clip, 492 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,256 and now you're firing me. 493 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,424 And the best thing about it is that, uh, 494 00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:24,128 we're not gonna have to give you any severance pay. 495 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:28,266 Because that is gross misconduct, and, uh... 496 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:31,435 So just clean out your desk. I'm sorry. 497 00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:51,155 You've been "Xed," punk! 498 00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:52,823 Surprise! It's a joke! 499 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,192 We were joking around! 500 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,326 See? 501 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,894 Okay, he was in on it. 502 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,329 He was my accomplice. 503 00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,699 And it was just kind of a morale booster thing. 504 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,369 And we were showing the new guy around, kind of... 505 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,438 kind of giving him the feel of the place. 506 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,774 So you sh... 507 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,076 God, you were... We totally got you... 508 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,212 You're a jerk! 509 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,780 Ah, I don't know about that. 510 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:32,897 What is the most 511 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,999 important thing for a company? 512 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:39,036 Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory? 513 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,072 Nuh-uh. 514 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,174 It's the people. 515 00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:45,676 The people. 516 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,078 My proudest moment here 517 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,514 was not when I increased profits by 17%. 518 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:53,017 Or when I cut expenses 519 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,652 without losing a single employee. 520 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,220 No, no, no, no, no. 521 00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:59,457 It was a young Guatemalan guy. 522 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,193 First job in the country, barely spoke English. 523 00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,629 Came to me and said, 524 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:07,131 "Mr. Scott, 525 00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:12,903 would you be the godfather of my child?" 526 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:16,040 Wow. Wow. 527 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:17,808 Wow. 528 00:21:21,079 --> 00:21:22,513 Didn't work out in the end. 529 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,215 We had to let him go. He sucked. 530 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,289 Hey. 531 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:32,823 Hey. Hi. 532 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:33,958 How are you? Good. 533 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,327 I thought you were going out for a drink with... 534 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:37,995 Oh, no, no. 535 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,364 Just going to, uh... 536 00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,099 How's your headache? 537 00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,434 It's better. Thanks. Good. 538 00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,169 Good, that's great. 539 00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:46,804 Is, uh... Yeah? 540 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,440 Um, are you, uh... 541 00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:50,608 Am I walking out? 542 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:51,842 Yes. 543 00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,444 Yes. Do you wanna? 544 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,246 Yeah. Great. 545 00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:57,048 Let me just... 546 00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:59,116 - Oh, Roy. - Yeah. 547 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,551 Listen, have a nice weekend. 548 00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,853 Yeah, definitely. You too. 549 00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,622 Enjoy it.