1 00:00:55,726 --> 00:00:57,424 Pam ! Pamela, 2 00:00:57,501 --> 00:01:00,269 Pamelamela Ding Dong ! Making copies. 3 00:01:01,177 --> 00:01:03,318 - I'm not making any copies. - Let's go ! 4 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,802 Messages, date, lots to do lots to do... 5 00:01:06,937 --> 00:01:08,190 Information superhighway ! 6 00:01:08,284 --> 00:01:09,784 - Nothing new... - Let them unw... 7 00:01:09,822 --> 00:01:12,103 - There's nothing new. - That's not what you said earlier. 8 00:01:12,356 --> 00:01:15,575 Oh do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before ? 9 00:01:15,634 --> 00:01:16,655 For the... 10 00:01:20,415 --> 00:01:25,862 The most sacred thing I do is care, and provide for my workers, my family. 11 00:01:26,155 --> 00:01:27,598 I give them money. 12 00:01:27,716 --> 00:01:29,113 I give them food. 13 00:01:30,129 --> 00:01:32,148 Not directly, but through the money... 14 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,178 I heal them. 15 00:01:36,189 --> 00:01:40,482 Today I am in charge, of picking a great new healthcare plan. 16 00:01:41,074 --> 00:01:43,070 Right ? That's what this is all about ! 17 00:01:45,258 --> 00:01:47,827 Does that make me their doctor ? 18 00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:52,621 Yes... In a way... 19 00:01:53,429 --> 00:01:55,263 Yeah, like a specialist. 20 00:01:58,930 --> 00:02:01,236 So which health plan have you decided on ? 21 00:02:01,471 --> 00:02:03,608 I am going to go with best, Jan. 22 00:02:03,784 --> 00:02:05,804 I am going to go with the one with 23 00:02:05,862 --> 00:02:08,974 the acupuncture, therapeutic massage... 24 00:02:09,079 --> 00:02:11,252 - You know, the works... - Wait acupuncture ? 25 00:02:11,346 --> 00:02:12,719 None of the plans have acupuncture. 26 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,908 Have you looked at them closely Michael ? 27 00:02:16,013 --> 00:02:19,676 I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the "gold plan". 28 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:21,785 - The gold plan ? - Yep. 29 00:02:22,089 --> 00:02:23,440 I'm not even on that plan. 30 00:02:23,487 --> 00:02:25,600 Well I recommend it, it's very good. 31 00:02:29,017 --> 00:02:31,506 - You have to crack this things open. - You know the whole reason we're doing 32 00:02:31,553 --> 00:02:33,443 this, is to save money. 33 00:02:34,265 --> 00:02:35,240 So, 34 00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:37,887 you just need to pick a provider, and then choose the cheapest plan. 35 00:02:40,092 --> 00:02:41,863 Well that is... 36 00:02:42,317 --> 00:02:44,454 kind of a tough assignment. 37 00:02:45,922 --> 00:02:49,597 - It's not gonna be a popular decision around the old orifice. - It's your job... so 38 00:02:49,996 --> 00:02:51,560 It's a suicide mission, you know... 39 00:02:52,946 --> 00:02:54,367 - Michael, - I, I Know 40 00:02:54,437 --> 00:02:56,222 - Maybe, I, I mean... - There... there 41 00:02:56,292 --> 00:02:57,828 You know sometimes a manager... 42 00:02:58,517 --> 00:02:59,327 like yourself, 43 00:02:59,421 --> 00:03:02,545 has to deliver the bad news to the employees, I do it all the time. 44 00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:05,656 - Yeah, when have you ever done that ? - I'm doing it, right now. 45 00:03:06,731 --> 00:03:08,081 To you. 46 00:03:10,012 --> 00:03:11,680 Last night on "Trading spouses"... 47 00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:14,367 - There's... have you seen it ? - No, I have a life. 48 00:03:14,850 --> 00:03:17,527 - Interesting, what's that like ? - You should try it sometime. 49 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,895 Wow 50 00:03:19,376 --> 00:03:20,950 - But then who would watch my TV ? 51 00:03:21,008 --> 00:03:21,889 So I like that 52 00:03:21,995 --> 00:03:23,462 Ding Dong ! 53 00:03:28,723 --> 00:03:30,205 There's a decision that needs to be made. 54 00:03:30,239 --> 00:03:32,565 And I'm having a unbelievably busy day. 55 00:03:33,656 --> 00:03:36,321 So, I'm going to let you pick 56 00:03:36,579 --> 00:03:38,611 a healthcare plan for our office, 57 00:03:38,734 --> 00:03:40,671 and then explain it 58 00:03:40,953 --> 00:03:42,538 to your co-workers. 59 00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,229 - Gosh ! - Yeah ! 60 00:03:46,172 --> 00:03:48,872 That is a great offer. Thank you. 61 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,879 I really think I should be concentrating on sales. 62 00:03:53,975 --> 00:03:55,480 - Really ? - Yeah. 63 00:03:56,155 --> 00:03:58,721 I just don't thing that this is the kind of task, that 64 00:03:59,309 --> 00:04:02,092 I am going to do... 65 00:04:02,189 --> 00:04:04,079 You know who would be great for this ? 66 00:04:04,214 --> 00:04:08,025 Anytime Michael asks me to do anything I just tell me that Dwight should do it. 67 00:04:08,729 --> 00:04:11,671 Yes ! I can do it ! I'm your man. 68 00:04:11,883 --> 00:04:13,825 Right now this is just a job. 69 00:04:14,179 --> 00:04:17,717 If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. 70 00:04:18,153 --> 00:04:19,581 And a... 71 00:04:19,658 --> 00:04:22,108 Well if this were my career, 72 00:04:22,899 --> 00:04:24,809 I'd have to throw myself in front of a train. 73 00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:28,407 Ok first, let's go over some parameters, 74 00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:30,565 how many people can I fire ? 75 00:04:30,906 --> 00:04:33,520 None, you're picking a healthcare plan. 76 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,915 Ok we'll table that for the time being. Two, I'm gonna need an office. 77 00:04:38,023 --> 00:04:39,397 I think the conference room should be fine. 78 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:42,353 You can use the conference room as a temporary workspace. 79 00:04:42,507 --> 00:04:44,940 Yes, I have an office. 80 00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:47,727 - Bigger than his ! - No, you cannot use it. 81 00:04:47,801 --> 00:04:50,859 - Ok I take it back it's a workspace. - Temporary workspace, you can use it. 82 00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:53,106 Thank you. 83 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,501 If Dwight fails and that is strike too and good for me, 84 00:04:58,252 --> 00:05:00,154 for giving him a second chance. 85 00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:03,202 And if he succeeds, then, you know, 86 00:05:03,325 --> 00:05:05,734 no one would be prouder than I am. I've groomed him. 87 00:05:05,918 --> 00:05:07,803 I made him what he is today. 88 00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:12,500 Unless he fails and, 89 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,363 talked about that already. 90 00:05:18,429 --> 00:05:20,772 What did I do ? I did my job. 91 00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:24,414 I slashed benefits to the bone. I saved this company money. 92 00:05:24,812 --> 00:05:28,806 Was I too harsh ? Maybe. I don't believe in coddling people. 93 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:32,382 In the wild, there is no healthcare. 94 00:05:32,648 --> 00:05:35,972 In the wild healthcare is "How, I hurt my leg... 95 00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:39,011 I can't run, a lion eats me, and I'm dead. " 96 00:05:40,159 --> 00:05:42,706 Well, I'm not dead. 97 00:05:43,516 --> 00:05:45,233 I'm the lion. 98 00:05:46,256 --> 00:05:47,973 You're dead ! 99 00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:54,127 There's no dental, there's no vision, 100 00:05:54,282 --> 00:05:56,481 there is a 1200 dollars deductible. 101 00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,169 Dundler Mifflin this is Pam. 102 00:06:01,323 --> 00:06:03,561 Pam, Michael Scott, how's tricks ? 103 00:06:04,285 --> 00:06:06,542 Where are you ? 104 00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:09,745 Oh, I'm in my office, I am swamped. 105 00:06:09,918 --> 00:06:12,349 I have work up to my ears 106 00:06:12,397 --> 00:06:16,497 and busy busy busy, can't step away, I just wanted to check in and 107 00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:19,622 see how everybody's dealing. Everybody cool out there ? 108 00:06:20,124 --> 00:06:22,149 Actually, people are really unhappy 109 00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:24,580 Dwight send around this memo 110 00:06:24,638 --> 00:06:27,407 - And people are freaking out cause... - Pam, you, I'm sorry I'm sorry 111 00:06:27,464 --> 00:06:29,818 I, I, I got to go I'm getting a call. 112 00:06:30,329 --> 00:06:32,317 No you're not. 113 00:06:33,609 --> 00:06:36,493 I have to make a call after I finish, my work 114 00:06:36,561 --> 00:06:39,281 You know what ? Don't let anybody in my office 115 00:06:39,464 --> 00:06:43,661 Under any conditions today I'm just too busy, too swamped, you know ? 116 00:06:44,741 --> 00:06:47,934 I'm unreachable. I'm incommunicado capisce ? 117 00:06:48,079 --> 00:06:49,255 - Ok - Thank you, 118 00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:53,046 God here we go again, got to go, I have to take this. 119 00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:54,783 Still no one calling. 120 00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:01,516 - Dwight, what is this... - Uh, knock, please. 121 00:07:02,008 --> 00:07:04,606 - Please knock, this is an office. - It says workspace. 122 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,242 - Same thing. - If it's the same thing, 123 00:07:06,288 --> 00:07:08,629 then why'd you write "work space". 124 00:07:09,197 --> 00:07:12,759 Just knock, please, as a sign of respect for your superior. 125 00:07:12,826 --> 00:07:15,643 - You are not my superior. - Gee, then why do I have an office ? 126 00:07:15,749 --> 00:07:18,353 - Thought it was a workspace, Dwight. - Ok, Dwight. 127 00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:21,238 Are you really in charge of picking an healthcare plan ? 128 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,839 Yes. And my decision is final. 129 00:07:23,099 --> 00:07:25,183 This is a ridiculously awful plan. 130 00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:27,508 Because you cut everything. 131 00:07:27,691 --> 00:07:30,830 - Times are tough, Pam, deal with it. - You cut more than you had to, didn't you ? 132 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:31,320 Sure. 133 00:07:31,366 --> 00:07:34,106 Then why did you do that ? You work here, don't you want good insurance ? 134 00:07:34,212 --> 00:07:36,690 Don't need it, never been sick, perfect immune system. 135 00:07:36,826 --> 00:07:40,019 Ok well if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies. 136 00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:42,585 I don't need them, superior genes. 137 00:07:42,653 --> 00:07:45,469 I'm a Schrute... And superior brain power. 138 00:07:45,585 --> 00:07:49,058 Through concentration I can raise 139 00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:52,839 Why would you want to raise your cholesterol ? 140 00:07:52,916 --> 00:07:54,942 So I can lower it. 141 00:07:56,418 --> 00:07:58,940 He literally won't come out of his office. 142 00:07:59,534 --> 00:08:01,733 He's got to come out sometime. 143 00:08:03,739 --> 00:08:07,212 - To go to the bathroom. - Kevin, that's inappropriate ! 144 00:08:11,312 --> 00:08:13,202 Michael can I talk to you ? 145 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,289 I would like to, but I'm really busy, rain check ? 146 00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,222 Michael, Michael please 147 00:08:19,704 --> 00:08:21,633 Can we talk about this memo ? 148 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,431 - What ? Which memo ? - Dwight's healthcare memo 149 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,090 - I told you about it. - Is it a good plan ? 150 00:08:26,196 --> 00:08:28,376 It's a great plan ! It saves the company a fortune. 151 00:08:28,530 --> 00:08:31,444 - It's like a paid decrease. - Michael, he made huge cuts. 152 00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:34,608 Cuts ? what ? Dwight did you make cuts ? 153 00:08:34,704 --> 00:08:37,772 - Yeah you said go in the... - No no no no no. You know what ? 154 00:08:38,264 --> 00:08:40,617 I said nothing specific because I was so busy. 155 00:08:40,839 --> 00:08:43,077 Why don't you go in there Dwight ? 156 00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:46,502 and find these people a plan that will work for them. Ok ? 157 00:08:46,704 --> 00:08:49,463 - I can handle it. - Ok. All right. 158 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,129 We feel good ? All right, good ! 159 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,846 Plus, 160 00:08:57,929 --> 00:09:00,293 There's some other good news. 161 00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:02,823 Today at the end of the day, 162 00:09:02,939 --> 00:09:05,553 I will have for all of you 163 00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:09,305 a big surprise. Ok ? 164 00:09:09,469 --> 00:09:12,440 So hang in there, and I will see you at the end of the day. 165 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,228 Right ? 166 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,067 - This is not good. - It's ridiculous. 167 00:09:25,579 --> 00:09:27,739 Did you talk to him ? 168 00:09:27,903 --> 00:09:28,907 What was that ? 169 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,250 You let him off all over you it's just pathetic. 170 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,064 - What are you guys talking about ? - Nothing Kevin. 171 00:09:34,546 --> 00:09:37,164 Do I know what the surprise is ? Hell no ! 172 00:09:37,309 --> 00:09:40,415 Doesn't matter, the point is, they're not unhappy anymore. 173 00:09:40,521 --> 00:09:43,569 They're out there thinking "Wow ! My boss really cares about me. 174 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,424 He has a surprise, he's cool. 175 00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:49,646 What a great guy, I love him. 176 00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:53,321 I love him. " 177 00:09:55,347 --> 00:09:58,029 Ok everyone, gather round. 178 00:10:00,884 --> 00:10:02,640 Step forward. 179 00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:07,540 It has been brought to my attention that some of you are unhappy with my plan, 180 00:10:07,636 --> 00:10:09,006 so what I'd like you to do, 181 00:10:09,122 --> 00:10:11,659 is to fill this out and write down any diseases that you have, 182 00:10:11,746 --> 00:10:14,331 That you might want covered and I'll see what I can do. 183 00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:17,192 Okay you know what Dwight ? We can't write our diseases down for you, 184 00:10:17,195 --> 00:10:18,981 - because that's confidential. - Ok, 185 00:10:19,116 --> 00:10:21,489 well I didn't say to write your name down, did I ? 186 00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:23,456 Fill that out, leave it anonymous. 187 00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:26,032 Or don't write any disease down at all, and they won't be covered. 188 00:10:26,186 --> 00:10:28,251 Sound fair ? Good. All right, I'll be in my office. 189 00:10:28,772 --> 00:10:30,354 Workspace. 190 00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:33,489 You know what ? Come with me. 191 00:10:33,595 --> 00:10:35,563 We are going on a little mission. 192 00:10:35,659 --> 00:10:37,685 "Operation surprise. " 193 00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:41,379 Where are you going ? 194 00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:44,128 Headed out. Part of my busy day. 195 00:10:44,196 --> 00:10:46,503 You know, meetings. 196 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,640 Couldn't find the knock. 197 00:10:53,090 --> 00:10:56,447 So basically, I want to do something nice for my employees. 198 00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:59,119 Atlantic City. Ok ? 199 00:10:59,312 --> 00:11:01,955 They have this thing where they send a bus, 200 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:03,932 Right for free, picks everybody up, 201 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,952 and head down there, get to the hotel, the room is count. 202 00:11:07,154 --> 00:11:09,527 They give you a big pile of chips, and your food. 203 00:11:09,681 --> 00:11:13,940 Everything just kind of a all inclusive free kind of weekend. 204 00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:15,836 I don't know of anything like that. 205 00:11:16,116 --> 00:11:19,694 But, you know what you might want to do is just call the casino directly, 206 00:11:19,964 --> 00:11:22,067 - Maybe. - Yep yep, yep. 207 00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:25,222 I did, so. 208 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,611 Wait what are you writing ? 209 00:11:38,707 --> 00:11:41,022 Don't write Ebola, or mad cow disease. 210 00:11:41,476 --> 00:11:43,347 All right ? 211 00:11:43,501 --> 00:11:45,681 Cause I'm suffering from both of them. 212 00:11:46,588 --> 00:11:48,672 - I'm inventing new diseases. - Oh great. 213 00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:51,797 So let's say that my teeth turn to liquid 214 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,402 And then, they drip down the back of my throat. 215 00:11:54,518 --> 00:11:55,694 What would you call that ? 216 00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:57,489 I thought you said you were inventing diseases ? 217 00:11:57,624 --> 00:12:00,074 That's spontaneous "dentohydroplosion" 218 00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:02,775 - Nice. - Thank you. 219 00:12:02,862 --> 00:12:05,254 Calling to ask you a little favor Rooney my friend. 220 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:09,971 I'm trying to give the troops around here a little bit of a boost 221 00:12:10,087 --> 00:12:11,784 And I was thinking that 222 00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:15,508 maybe we could take them down to take a spin on your big ride. 223 00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:19,926 You mean the elevator that takes you down in the mine shaft ? 224 00:12:20,051 --> 00:12:21,672 It's not really a ride. 225 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,431 It says here that it's a... 226 00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:26,813 300 foot drop. 227 00:12:27,103 --> 00:12:30,267 Well that goes 300 feet in the earth but it moves really slowly. 228 00:12:31,849 --> 00:12:33,797 So it's not a free fall ? 229 00:12:33,942 --> 00:12:36,315 It's a industrial coal elevator. 230 00:12:38,379 --> 00:12:40,829 All right. Once you get down into the mine, 231 00:12:41,997 --> 00:12:44,659 what, you got laser tag or something ? 232 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,987 OK ok so I don't know what the surprise is, am I worried ? 233 00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,755 Nooo. No way. You see I thrive on this. 234 00:12:51,112 --> 00:12:54,431 This is my world, this is improv, this it "whose line is it anyway". 235 00:12:55,551 --> 00:13:00,483 Damn it ! damn it ! Jim ! 236 00:13:00,556 --> 00:13:03,065 All right, who did this ? 237 00:13:03,189 --> 00:13:05,427 I'm not mad, I just want to know who did it, so I can punish them. 238 00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:06,778 What are you talking about ? 239 00:13:07,144 --> 00:13:10,694 "Someone", forged medical information, and that is felony. 240 00:13:10,955 --> 00:13:14,090 Ok "wow", cause that is a pretty intense accusation. 241 00:13:14,157 --> 00:13:16,627 How do you know that they're fake ? 242 00:13:16,878 --> 00:13:18,884 Uh, Leprosy ? 243 00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,865 Flesh eating bacteria. 244 00:13:22,878 --> 00:13:24,884 Hot dog fingers. 245 00:13:25,829 --> 00:13:29,128 Government created killer nano robot infection 246 00:13:31,115 --> 00:13:32,408 - You did this didn't you ? - Absolutely not. 247 00:13:32,485 --> 00:13:33,469 - Yes you did. - No I didn't. 248 00:13:33,527 --> 00:13:35,341 I know it was you. Ok fine, you know what ? 249 00:13:35,389 --> 00:13:37,376 I'm gonna have to interview each and everyone of you 250 00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:40,270 Until the perpetrator makes him or herself known. 251 00:13:40,415 --> 00:13:44,128 And until that time, there will be no healthcare coverage for anyone. 252 00:13:47,871 --> 00:13:52,270 - Killer Nano Robots ? - It's an epidemic. 253 00:13:54,506 --> 00:13:58,617 The problem Jim, is that people who are really suffering 254 00:13:58,786 --> 00:14:01,921 from a medical condition, won't receive the care they need, 255 00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:06,515 because someone in this office has coming up with all those ridiculous stuff 256 00:14:08,336 --> 00:14:11,061 - "Count Choculitis. ". - Sounds tough. 257 00:14:11,206 --> 00:14:13,581 Why did you write that down Jim ? 258 00:14:13,858 --> 00:14:15,981 - Is it because you know I love Count Chocula ? - Do you ? 259 00:14:17,578 --> 00:14:20,260 I think you need to confess the fact. 260 00:14:20,528 --> 00:14:21,865 - Yeah. - What are you doing ? 261 00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:23,601 - What ? - Those are my keys. 262 00:14:23,734 --> 00:14:26,001 - Good luck. - Jim ! Damn it ! 263 00:14:26,212 --> 00:14:29,968 No ! Jim let me out. Jim, let... 264 00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:33,167 The light green is a green. 265 00:14:39,457 --> 00:14:40,885 - Jim Halpert. - Let me out. 266 00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:42,872 - Who is this ? - Let me out or you're fired. 267 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,968 - No, you can't fire me. - Yes I can, I'm manager for the day. 268 00:14:46,103 --> 00:14:47,377 Clean out your desk. 269 00:14:47,415 --> 00:14:49,943 Ok, can you hold on one second, I'm getting a bip. 270 00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:54,872 - Jim Halpert. - Hey Jim, it's Pam. 271 00:14:54,939 --> 00:14:57,351 Hey Pam ! How are you ? 272 00:14:57,419 --> 00:14:58,769 - Jim open the door ! - Good. How are you ? 273 00:14:58,827 --> 00:15:00,100 - I'm doing ok, - Busy ? 274 00:15:00,158 --> 00:15:02,039 - Getting excited for the week end now. - Yeah. 275 00:15:02,097 --> 00:15:04,605 - Yeah, what are you up to ? - I'm not bothering you am I ? 276 00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:06,619 - No not all. - You don't have anything you're doing. 277 00:15:06,696 --> 00:15:08,162 - I have nothing to do. - Oh great. 278 00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:11,037 Yeah no, this week end nothing I'm not really doing anything. 279 00:15:11,162 --> 00:15:13,362 - Might go to the mall. - The mall ? 280 00:15:13,526 --> 00:15:16,614 - I need new shoes. - How interesting, what kind of shoes ? 281 00:15:17,546 --> 00:15:19,251 - Hello ? - Hello. 282 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,516 This is Dwight Schrute calling for Jan Levinson-Gould. 283 00:15:22,969 --> 00:15:24,667 This is Jan. 284 00:15:24,696 --> 00:15:28,072 Hi, Dwight Schrute calling, acting manager Scranton branch, 285 00:15:28,371 --> 00:15:31,207 Listen I need your permission to fire Jim Halpert. 286 00:15:31,699 --> 00:15:33,976 - Who is this ? - Dwight Schrute. 287 00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:36,735 - From sales ? - Well. 288 00:15:36,821 --> 00:15:40,371 - Where is Michael Scott ? - He is not here right now. 289 00:15:40,448 --> 00:15:43,130 He put me in charge of the office. 290 00:15:43,496 --> 00:15:46,988 Dwight, listen to me very carefully, you are not a manager of anything. 291 00:15:47,143 --> 00:15:50,442 - Understand ? - That's not entirely true, 292 00:15:50,924 --> 00:15:53,567 Because he put me in charge of picking a healthcare plan. 293 00:15:54,262 --> 00:15:55,612 - Really ? - Yeah. 294 00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:56,442 Ok. 295 00:15:56,509 --> 00:15:58,805 when Michael gets back, you tell him to call me immediately. 296 00:15:58,863 --> 00:16:00,156 - Call you immediately, good. - Yes. 297 00:16:00,561 --> 00:16:02,972 Listen, since I have you on the phone, 298 00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:06,677 - Can I fire Jim ? - No. 299 00:16:06,869 --> 00:16:08,953 Please don't use my cell phone ever again. 300 00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:10,689 This is your cell, I thought this was your off... 301 00:16:18,425 --> 00:16:21,368 Everybody ice cream sandwiches. 302 00:16:22,101 --> 00:16:24,956 There you go take one take one it's all good. 303 00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:27,020 Phyllis, safe pass. 304 00:16:27,773 --> 00:16:30,126 I see Angela right, Angela ! 305 00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:34,255 Hey, temp, why don't you take two. 306 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,046 Because you don't get healthcare, and faster metabolism. 307 00:16:38,268 --> 00:16:40,969 Did you get the kind with the cookies, instead of the ? 308 00:16:41,085 --> 00:16:43,419 Why don't you just eat it ? Ok. 309 00:16:43,506 --> 00:16:46,371 Here you go Stanley the "manly" ! 310 00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:47,914 - Thanks. - There you go. 311 00:16:47,953 --> 00:16:49,631 This isn't the big surprise is it ? 312 00:16:49,786 --> 00:16:52,139 Because we've been having a pretty horrible day. 313 00:16:52,274 --> 00:16:54,532 Nope, nope. 314 00:16:54,618 --> 00:16:56,085 This isn't the surprise. 315 00:16:56,162 --> 00:16:59,249 It's surprising, because you didn't expect it. 316 00:16:59,798 --> 00:17:02,605 But you'll, you'll know it when you see it. 317 00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:06,541 Michael, Michael ! 318 00:17:18,940 --> 00:17:22,256 I tried being rational. Ok, and what happened ? 319 00:17:22,391 --> 00:17:25,134 The employees went crazy, I got no hope from corporate, 320 00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:27,108 so that leaves me with no options. 321 00:17:27,289 --> 00:17:29,610 I'm now gonna read aloud your submitted medical conditions. 322 00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:33,122 When you hear yours read, please raise your hand, indicate that it is real 323 00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:36,257 If you do not raise your hand, it will not be covered. 324 00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:38,910 - What about confidentiality ? - You know what ? 325 00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:43,249 You have forfeited that privilege. I have tried to treat you all as adults. 326 00:17:43,491 --> 00:17:46,294 But obviously, I'm the only adult here. 327 00:17:46,474 --> 00:17:50,212 Number one, inverted penis. 328 00:17:54,492 --> 00:17:59,255 Could you mean vagina ? Because if you do I want that covered. 329 00:17:59,481 --> 00:18:02,208 I thought your vagina was removed during you hysterectomy. 330 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:06,971 A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina. 331 00:18:21,354 --> 00:18:25,461 Ok great. "Germatitus". Thank you Angela, 332 00:18:25,611 --> 00:18:31,451 I'll make sure that's covered. Ok now, who wrote this, this hysterical one ? 333 00:18:31,866 --> 00:18:34,504 - Anal fissures. - That's a real thing. 334 00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:37,876 Yeah but no one here has it. 335 00:18:39,194 --> 00:18:42,148 Someone has it. 336 00:18:53,057 --> 00:18:55,892 - Do you think we should go. - I don't know, Kevin this is important. 337 00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,185 I don't want futileness. 338 00:18:57,610 --> 00:19:00,684 - What is he doing ? - I don't know. 339 00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:11,553 Well ? 340 00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:13,232 Well, what ? 341 00:19:13,357 --> 00:19:16,097 - You could be referring to anything. - Ok, 342 00:19:16,386 --> 00:19:17,582 The healthcare plan. 343 00:19:17,630 --> 00:19:20,196 Why did you put Dwight in charge of that, he did an horrible job. 344 00:19:20,515 --> 00:19:22,405 Dwight ? 345 00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:24,962 - Did you raise benefits ? - I most certainly did not. 346 00:19:25,714 --> 00:19:27,817 come on ! That's horrible ! 347 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,647 Thanks Dwight for a crappy plan. 348 00:19:32,833 --> 00:19:34,145 Damn. 349 00:19:35,737 --> 00:19:38,206 I wish I had time to change it, but... 350 00:19:38,524 --> 00:19:41,814 Jan needs it by five and... What time is it ? What time is it ? 351 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,814 It's after five. 352 00:19:45,190 --> 00:19:47,582 It's awful. 353 00:19:47,679 --> 00:19:50,081 So well, ok. 354 00:19:50,293 --> 00:19:52,917 See you guys on Monday. 355 00:19:53,679 --> 00:19:55,772 What about the surprise ? 356 00:19:56,138 --> 00:19:58,270 Yes exactly. 357 00:19:58,386 --> 00:20:01,338 Thank you Angela for reminding me. 358 00:20:02,254 --> 00:20:03,827 Terrific. 359 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,084 Before I tell everybody what the big surprise is, 360 00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:09,894 would you like to tell me, what you think the big surprise is ? 361 00:20:11,023 --> 00:20:13,222 We all think you don't have a surprise. 362 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:16,907 All right, I have some news for you. There is a big surprise. 363 00:20:18,296 --> 00:20:21,122 And... here it is, here we go... 364 00:20:21,364 --> 00:20:22,984 And 365 00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,974 the big surprise is... 366 00:20:28,492 --> 00:20:29,881 Drum roll. 367 00:20:50,032 --> 00:20:53,717 When I am backed into a corner, that is when I come alive. 368 00:20:54,489 --> 00:20:57,344 See I learned improv from the greats, like... 369 00:20:58,328 --> 00:21:00,257 Drew Carey and Ryan Styles. 370 00:21:13,029 --> 00:21:16,058 Robin Williams, oh man, would I love to go head to head with him. 371 00:21:17,524 --> 00:21:20,129 That would be exciting ! "Hi, I'm Mork from Ork. " 372 00:21:20,428 --> 00:21:22,936 "Well I'm Bork for Smork". 373 00:21:23,059 --> 00:21:25,855 "anounanouzoubliblublu" 374 00:21:53,666 --> 00:21:55,809 Jan wants you to call her. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net