1
00:00:04,188 --> 00:00:05,282
Where is my desk ?

2
00:00:07,566 --> 00:00:08,309
That is weird.

3
00:00:09,125 --> 00:00:12,185
This is not funny, this is totally unprofessional.

4
00:00:12,239 --> 00:00:14,179
Okay, well, you're the one who lost the desk.

5
00:00:14,288 --> 00:00:16,586
- I didn't lose my desk - Okay, calm down.

6
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,272
Where was the last place you saw it ?

7
00:00:18,308 --> 00:00:19,740
Okay, who moved my desk ?

8
00:00:20,273 --> 00:00:21,869
I think you should retrace your steps.

9
00:00:21,905 --> 00:00:24,551
Okay, I am going to tell Michael.

10
00:00:24,777 --> 00:00:27,630
And this entire office will be punished.

11
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:29,626
Colder.

12
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:33,830
Warmer.

13
00:00:34,906 --> 00:00:36,266
Little warmer.

14
00:00:37,339 --> 00:00:39,141
There you go, ooh, warmer.

15
00:00:39,866 --> 00:00:40,940
Warmer.

16
00:00:41,397 --> 00:00:42,643
Warmer, warmer !

17
00:00:42,847 --> 00:00:44,511
Warmer, cold, cold ! Cold !

18
00:00:44,585 --> 00:00:45,672
Back up !

19
00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:50,053
Ooh, ooh, warmer.

20
00:00:50,297 --> 00:00:51,993
Hot, red hot. Hot.

21
00:00:53,037 --> 00:00:54,273
Very hot.

22
00:01:07,488 --> 00:01:09,172
- Dwight Schrute. - Hi Dwight !

23
00:01:09,718 --> 00:01:12,810
What sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 pound white bond ?

24
00:01:13,046 --> 00:01:15,310
Jim, I've given you this information like 20 times.

25
00:01:15,355 --> 00:01:16,573
I know.

26
00:01:20,407 --> 00:01:21,723
It's by the ream ?

27
00:01:22,126 --> 00:01:24,600
- Uh, yeah. - It is now 9.78.

28
00:01:24,808 --> 00:01:27,553
- So it's a discount of 7%. - Okay thank you,

29
00:01:27,776 --> 00:01:29,442
I got to get back to work.

30
00:01:33,907 --> 00:01:35,293
Wash your hands Kevin.

31
00:02:00,615 --> 00:02:02,853
Saison 2 - Episode 6 The Fight

32
00:02:03,088 --> 00:02:04,723
Script: Nikki (twiztv.com)

33
00:02:04,878 --> 00:02:06,762
Synchronisation Occeane & El Uploador

34
00:02:06,946 --> 00:02:08,890
pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/ www.forom.com

35
00:02:10,357 --> 00:02:13,592
Right. Oh, well, let me just check the pricing list.

36
00:02:13,637 --> 00:02:15,383
- Hold on one second. - Sensei...

37
00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:17,082
Hello, it's sempai.

38
00:02:18,707 --> 00:02:20,203
Dwight.

39
00:02:20,387 --> 00:02:22,501
You know what, let me give you a call right back.

40
00:02:22,547 --> 00:02:25,000
I'm going to find it and then I'll call you back. Thanks.

41
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,173
Yes, I just had a ques... Yes, sensei.

42
00:02:29,158 --> 00:02:31,502
Arigato goazai mashta. Hai.

43
00:02:34,948 --> 00:02:37,983
- Was that you mom ? - No. That was my sensei.

44
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,463
- Thought it was your mom. - I am now sempai,

45
00:02:43,277 --> 00:02:45,133
which is assistant sensei.

46
00:02:45,318 --> 00:02:47,202
Assistant to the sensei, that's pretty cool.

47
00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:48,973
- Assistant sensei. - Okay.

48
00:02:49,106 --> 00:02:53,893
I am a practitioner of Goju-Ryu ka-ra-te, here in Scranton.

49
00:02:54,497 --> 00:02:56,163
- Hai ! - 2 !

50
00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:58,912
- Hai ! - Dwight, stamp and kick back. 3.

51
00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:04,440
My sensei, Ira, recently promoted me to purple belt.

52
00:03:04,665 --> 00:03:07,381
And gave me duties of a sempai.

53
00:03:07,835 --> 00:03:10,953
Not that a lot of people here in America know what a sempai is.

54
00:03:11,028 --> 00:03:13,992
But it's equally as respected as a sensei.

55
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,572
I don't want to stay until 7:00 again this year.

56
00:03:22,097 --> 00:03:24,871
I don't really have any control over that, Stanley.

57
00:03:29,528 --> 00:03:33,510
Michael tends to procrastinate... a bit whenever he has to do work.

58
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,670
Time cards. He has to sign these every Friday.

59
00:03:38,936 --> 00:03:41,760
Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month.

60
00:03:41,868 --> 00:03:43,753
And expense reports.

61
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:47,791
All he has to do is initial these, at the end of every quarter.

62
00:03:47,905 --> 00:03:51,871
But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday. And that's today.

63
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:54,050
I call it the perfect storm.

64
00:03:54,265 --> 00:03:56,293
"I don't want to work,"

65
00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:59,201
"I just want to bang on this mug all day."

66
00:03:59,235 --> 00:04:01,321
Did you ask me here for any specific reason?

67
00:04:01,387 --> 00:04:04,283
Ah, yes, I did. Here's the bizzle.

68
00:04:05,638 --> 00:04:08,983
I have a very top secret mission for you.

69
00:04:09,025 --> 00:04:12,491
I want you to update all the emergency contact information.

70
00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:15,282
- Why is that secret ? - Hello. Oh, God

71
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,672
Busy work. Ah, get away, get away. Cretin.

72
00:04:18,328 --> 00:04:20,102
I put stickers so you know where to sign.

73
00:04:20,146 --> 00:04:21,572
Yes, thanks, I know where to sign.

74
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:22,921
It's just that last year, you...

75
00:04:22,978 --> 00:04:25,470
Last year, they were out of order, weren't they, Pam.

76
00:04:25,876 --> 00:04:29,672
Well, the last pickup for overnight deliveries is at 7:00.

77
00:04:29,946 --> 00:04:32,992
So you need to have them signed by then. Or much earlier.

78
00:04:33,046 --> 00:04:36,072
Shalax, Pam. Stop Pam-MSing.

79
00:04:37,305 --> 00:04:38,321
That's pretty good.

80
00:04:38,398 --> 00:04:40,742
Actually, I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission.

81
00:04:41,616 --> 00:04:43,153
Tell her what it is.

82
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,322
Updating emergency contacts ?

83
00:04:46,928 --> 00:04:48,763
Well, is that really a priority ?

84
00:04:48,867 --> 00:04:50,723
Is it a priority ? Oh, I don't know.

85
00:04:51,437 --> 00:04:53,521
What if there's a tornado, Pam ?

86
00:04:53,578 --> 00:04:55,532
People's legs are crushed under rubble.

87
00:04:55,698 --> 00:04:59,222
Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife ? No I can't.

88
00:04:59,336 --> 00:05:02,112
Because we don't have any emergency contact information.

89
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,120
Because Pam said it wasn't a priority.

90
00:05:04,265 --> 00:05:05,710
Think. Think with your head Pam.

91
00:05:05,825 --> 00:05:07,622
Okay, well, she walks out.

92
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,283
That's the problem with being a boss, is that when you are tough,

93
00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:14,430
they resent you, and when you are cool, they walk all over you.

94
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:19,542
- Catch-22. - Catch-22, yes.

95
00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:25,620
Why don't you give me your contact information to start with ?

96
00:05:25,677 --> 00:05:27,023
Okay? What's your cell ?

97
00:05:27,815 --> 00:05:31,170
- Larissa Halpert. - What's her address ?

98
00:05:31,258 --> 00:05:34,693
- 117 Vonburgen Street. - Hello.

99
00:05:35,588 --> 00:05:37,000
Hey Ryan.

100
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:43,151
This is Michael Jackson, calling from Wonderland.

101
00:05:44,138 --> 00:05:45,310
You mean Neverland ?

102
00:05:47,165 --> 00:05:48,761
This is Tito.

103
00:05:52,365 --> 00:05:53,633
What ?

104
00:05:55,437 --> 00:05:56,941
Calling from...

105
00:05:57,635 --> 00:06:00,373
Your major and minor lines cross at a ridge.

106
00:06:01,808 --> 00:06:02,992
That sucks.

107
00:06:03,138 --> 00:06:05,292
You're making this up as you go along, aren't you ?

108
00:06:05,336 --> 00:06:09,613
- I am just following the web site. - Well, at least I don't have cavities.

109
00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:12,130
Yes, you have very nice teeth.

110
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,603
T hanks

111
00:06:14,126 --> 00:06:15,740
Who's your emergency contact ?

112
00:06:16,457 --> 00:06:17,853
Stacey.

113
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:24,011
Pick up.

114
00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:27,651
Hello ?

115
00:06:28,668 --> 00:06:30,412
This is Mike Tyson.

116
00:06:33,337 --> 00:06:34,933
Hey, Dwight.

117
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:39,133
As sempai, do you ever think there's gonna be a day,

118
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:42,622
where humans and robots can peacefully coexist ?

119
00:06:43,455 --> 00:06:44,740
Impossible.

120
00:06:44,806 --> 00:06:46,602
The way they're programmed...

121
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,450
- You're mocking me. - No, I'm not.

122
00:06:50,498 --> 00:06:52,792
Well, let me offer you a little piece of advice.

123
00:06:53,368 --> 00:06:56,522
I am not afraid, to make an example out of you.

124
00:06:57,185 --> 00:07:00,153
That's not advice. What advice sounds like is this.

125
00:07:01,548 --> 00:07:04,141
Don't ever bring your purple belt to work,

126
00:07:04,438 --> 00:07:06,780
because someone might... steal it.

127
00:07:06,865 --> 00:07:08,922
- Okay, give that back to me. - Okay, say please.

128
00:07:08,966 --> 00:07:11,010
- No, that is not a toy. - Please.

129
00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:12,422
- Please ? - Good.

130
00:07:12,477 --> 00:07:14,750
And it absolutely is a toy. Arigato.

131
00:07:15,025 --> 00:07:18,011
Arigato. This is not a toy. This is a message,

132
00:07:18,995 --> 00:07:20,570
for the entire office.

133
00:07:20,617 --> 00:07:23,741
So that everyone could see that I am capable of physically dominating them.

134
00:07:27,128 --> 00:07:30,122
And this is more of a ying yang thing.

135
00:07:30,336 --> 00:07:33,243
The Michael is all cursive, Scott all caps.

136
00:07:33,497 --> 00:07:34,873
Left brain, right brain.

137
00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:37,443
Or duality of man.

138
00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:39,961
Could you practice on the forms ?

139
00:07:44,808 --> 00:07:46,791
No women or children, unless provoked.

140
00:07:46,858 --> 00:07:48,220
Okay, Roy.

141
00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:50,840
- Warehouse guy. Doesn't count. - Okay

142
00:07:50,947 --> 00:07:52,441
Michael. Could you beat up Michael ?

143
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,780
Yeah, I don't think that would happen.

144
00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:57,616
- Cause we're friends. - Because I would kick his ass.

145
00:07:57,759 --> 00:08:00,430
Well, Dwight's a purple belt. So...

146
00:08:00,506 --> 00:08:02,936
So ? I've beat up black belts. Yeah.

147
00:08:03,409 --> 00:08:05,402
How'd you know they were black belts ?

148
00:08:05,497 --> 00:08:06,920
They told me, after.

149
00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:11,792
See, I used to run with a very tough crowd, street fighter types.

150
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,680
Real, real bad people.

151
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,283
I'm just lucky I got out.

152
00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:18,813
Is your wife still your contact ?

153
00:08:19,235 --> 00:08:20,941
Ex-wife, yeah.

154
00:08:22,078 --> 00:08:23,972
Her last name is Becker now.

155
00:08:25,735 --> 00:08:26,733
Okay.

156
00:08:26,916 --> 00:08:28,273
You don't need to write ex.

157
00:08:29,518 --> 00:08:33,460
And after that, nobody ever messed with the damn rascals ever again.

158
00:08:33,837 --> 00:08:35,431
Sounds tough.

159
00:08:35,745 --> 00:08:37,990
When you're a jet, your're a jet all the way, right ?

160
00:08:38,045 --> 00:08:39,010
You're a jet ?

161
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,923
Have you signed the expense reports yet?

162
00:08:40,958 --> 00:08:42,582
Yes, in theory I have.

163
00:08:42,618 --> 00:08:45,150
I just need to cross some Ts and dot some Is.

164
00:08:46,696 --> 00:08:48,040
Alright.

165
00:08:48,246 --> 00:08:52,420
I am going to be in my office if anybody needs me.

166
00:08:53,758 --> 00:08:54,903
Oh Michael !

167
00:08:55,765 --> 00:08:58,491
Sleeper hold. Bedtime for vato.

168
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:02,661
- Stop it. - You are, the weakest link !

169
00:09:04,197 --> 00:09:06,550
I'm friends with everybody in this office.

170
00:09:06,805 --> 00:09:09,701
We're all best friends I love everybody here.

171
00:09:09,858 --> 00:09:12,372
But sometimes your best friends,

172
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:16,961
start coming in to work late and, start having dentist appointments

173
00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:18,423
that aren't dentist appointments.

174
00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:20,610
And that is when it's nice to let them know

175
00:09:20,676 --> 00:09:22,533
that you could beat them up.

176
00:09:22,656 --> 00:09:25,410
- Just hit me. You'll see. - I can't,

177
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,242
- cause I just got a manicure. So... - Oh, queer !

178
00:09:28,855 --> 00:09:31,453
Eye, Queer Eye. That's a good show. Important show.

179
00:09:32,248 --> 00:09:33,522
Go ahead, do it.

180
00:09:33,666 --> 00:09:35,600
- Just have Dwight punch you. - Oh, yeah

181
00:09:36,048 --> 00:09:37,652
Well, that would be kind of worthless,

182
00:09:37,698 --> 00:09:40,490
because I know a ton of 14 years old girls who could kick his ass.

183
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:43,300
- You know a ton of 14-year-old girls ? - What belt are they ?

184
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,313
Look, Dwight is a wuss.

185
00:09:45,648 --> 00:09:47,243
- When we rented Armageddon... - No...

186
00:09:47,328 --> 00:09:48,800
he cried at the end of it. He did.

187
00:09:48,848 --> 00:09:49,840
Michael, I told you...

188
00:09:49,885 --> 00:09:51,523
That was because it was New Year's Eve,

189
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,391
and it started to snow at exactly midnight.

190
00:09:53,458 --> 00:09:56,091
"Oh, Bruce Willis, they're going to leave him on the asteroid."

191
00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:58,300
- Okay I'll punch you. - Okay, here we go.

192
00:09:58,625 --> 00:09:59,811
Alright, come on.

193
00:10:05,985 --> 00:10:09,200
Did I want to harm Michael, the one man I've been hired to protect ?

194
00:10:09,738 --> 00:10:11,680
- No, I did not. - Are you okay ?

195
00:10:11,847 --> 00:10:13,671
- Yes. - Are you sure you're all right ?

196
00:10:13,715 --> 00:10:16,841
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

197
00:10:22,605 --> 00:10:24,371
I come from a long line of fighters.

198
00:10:24,668 --> 00:10:27,670
My maternal grandfather, was the toughest guy I ever knew.

199
00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,621
World War II veteran. Killed 20 men,

200
00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:33,820
then spent the rest of the war in an allied prison camp.

201
00:10:34,398 --> 00:10:39,300
My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life.

202
00:10:40,466 --> 00:10:41,800
Different kind of fight.

203
00:10:43,396 --> 00:10:45,171
Okay, he has to be stopped.

204
00:10:45,295 --> 00:10:48,083
Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael.

205
00:10:50,328 --> 00:10:51,501
- I don't know. - Okay

206
00:10:54,898 --> 00:10:56,310
Okay. I'll buy you a bag of chips.

207
00:10:56,346 --> 00:10:57,500
Why are you twisting around?

208
00:10:57,536 --> 00:10:59,120
- French onion ? - Obviously.

209
00:10:59,127 --> 00:11:00,631
Kevin, why are you spinning around ?

210
00:11:00,666 --> 00:11:01,681
- Okay. - Yes.

211
00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:04,052
Take this pen, okay.

212
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,062
And stab me with it.

213
00:11:06,915 --> 00:11:08,881
- Go away. - I just have a quick question.

214
00:11:09,245 --> 00:11:11,422
I haven't signed them, okay ?

215
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,261
No, it's not that.

216
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:17,210
I was just wondering, since I'm probably going to have to stay late

217
00:11:17,445 --> 00:11:21,263
could you ask Dwight to stay late too, so he can walk me to my car ?

218
00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:23,152
Nice.

219
00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:24,973
Come in.

220
00:11:28,158 --> 00:11:29,722
Pam, I hate to break this to you,

221
00:11:29,785 --> 00:11:32,052
but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged.

222
00:11:32,488 --> 00:11:33,881
He's just not tough enough.

223
00:11:33,947 --> 00:11:35,622
He's a purple belt. That's really high.

224
00:11:35,675 --> 00:11:37,720
I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous.

225
00:11:37,756 --> 00:11:38,862
I can murder him.

226
00:11:38,947 --> 00:11:41,963
- It's just that out there, you... - Oh, is that what they're saying?

227
00:11:42,117 --> 00:11:43,563
- Yeah, kind of. - Okay.

228
00:11:43,976 --> 00:11:45,082
Alright.

229
00:11:45,815 --> 00:11:46,823
Where's Dwight ?

230
00:11:46,877 --> 00:11:48,201
- Kitchen. - Okay.

231
00:11:53,117 --> 00:11:54,362
Try it again. Here we go.

232
00:11:55,225 --> 00:11:55,821
Good.

233
00:11:55,858 --> 00:11:58,000
- It way actually pretty good, right ? - Excellent.

234
00:11:58,026 --> 00:11:59,680
Now watch. Let me take you from behind.

235
00:11:59,727 --> 00:12:01,533
Watch out Kelly, might sucker punch you.

236
00:12:01,676 --> 00:12:03,812
- I didn't sucker punch you Michael. - No, really ?

237
00:12:03,865 --> 00:12:06,501
In case you didn't remember, I was defending my honor.

238
00:12:06,597 --> 00:12:08,421
- Like samoura�. - Really, oh, is that it ?

239
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,930
Well, the offer, Dwight, was for one punch,

240
00:12:10,946 --> 00:12:12,621
which I absorbed.

241
00:12:12,695 --> 00:12:17,073
I had no idea that there'd be a second punch. So, catch-22.

242
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,720
Okay, fine, tit for tit.

243
00:12:20,017 --> 00:12:22,403
Give it your best shot, two punches, go.

244
00:12:22,577 --> 00:12:24,292
Look, if we were in a bar,

245
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,991
right now, there would be two punches.

246
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,821
Me punching you and you hitting the floor.

247
00:12:27,867 --> 00:12:30,050
No, I'd block your first punch, rending ineffective.

248
00:12:30,077 --> 00:12:30,890
- Really - Yeah

249
00:12:30,935 --> 00:12:33,522
You know what, you're just lucky that we're at work right now.

250
00:12:33,575 --> 00:12:36,393
- What about, Dwight's dojo ? - No, they just have classes.

251
00:12:36,418 --> 00:12:37,940
It's free during the day, it's fine.

252
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,143
- Look ! - I've got the key.

253
00:12:39,167 --> 00:12:40,391
- Hey, Michael ! - Hey, Toby.

254
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:41,252
Any word on those...

255
00:12:41,307 --> 00:12:44,300
You know what ? I have an idea, why don't you just leave right now?

256
00:12:44,495 --> 00:12:46,821
Why don't you walk away from the room, okay ?

257
00:12:48,117 --> 00:12:49,330
Fine.

258
00:12:49,505 --> 00:12:51,093
We'll go at lunch.

259
00:12:51,715 --> 00:12:54,091
Pam, make an announcement.

260
00:12:55,365 --> 00:12:56,910
Figure out carpools.

261
00:12:59,916 --> 00:13:02,491
Well, we're all getting excited to see this fight

262
00:13:02,627 --> 00:13:06,010
The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing.

263
00:13:06,255 --> 00:13:09,801
But Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour...

264
00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:13,500
so that we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight.

265
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:18,813
Fight, Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, I'm coming, fight.

266
00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:24,583
Sorry.

267
00:13:33,425 --> 00:13:37,503
I recognize that. That is Japanese for California roll.

268
00:13:37,737 --> 00:13:38,741
No it's not.

269
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,461
I think it is, a guy told me about that.

270
00:13:40,505 --> 00:13:42,751
Actually, it's a symbol for eternal discipline.

271
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:46,113
- Wow, that is really interesting. - What ?

272
00:13:46,465 --> 00:13:48,871
Your love line... I'm just kidding, I can't see anything.

273
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,340
Look closer.

274
00:13:51,195 --> 00:13:52,910
- Oh-kay. - One point for me.

275
00:13:52,945 --> 00:13:54,110
- Tied up. - Oh you're dead

276
00:13:54,155 --> 00:13:56,713
What ? What are you going to do? Bring it Beesly. Bring it.

277
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,251
Ooh, yeah. Good move.

278
00:13:58,346 --> 00:14:00,682
Ooh, not such an ultimate fighter now, huh ?

279
00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:02,990
Hey, put me down. Put me down !

280
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,151
Oh my God. Hey, put me down.

281
00:14:05,508 --> 00:14:06,560
Hey.

282
00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:13,213
Okay, gentlemen, listen up.

283
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:15,580
After a clean strike to the chest,

284
00:14:15,676 --> 00:14:19,221
stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point.

285
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,950
First person to three wins, alright?

286
00:14:20,996 --> 00:14:22,891
- Yes, sensei ! - Lot of rules. Lot of rules.

287
00:14:22,938 --> 00:14:25,532
On the street, we didn't have any rules. Maybe one,

288
00:14:25,566 --> 00:14:27,392
no kicks to the groin, home for dinner.

289
00:14:27,845 --> 00:14:28,901
Hajime!

290
00:14:30,377 --> 00:14:31,961
- What the hell was that ? - Dwight.

291
00:14:31,987 --> 00:14:32,933
- Yes. - No way.

292
00:14:32,946 --> 00:14:33,810
- One point. - Okay.

293
00:14:33,838 --> 00:14:34,722
- Eat it ! - Alright

294
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,771
- That's the way you want to do it ? - Two more.

295
00:14:36,806 --> 00:14:39,000
You want to play dirty, huh? Okay, game on, man.

296
00:14:39,136 --> 00:14:41,403
- Sweep the leg. - I'm coming at you, man.

297
00:14:47,175 --> 00:14:48,823
Ha ! Okay, purple belt.

298
00:14:50,445 --> 00:14:51,833
- Okay, I got it. - No.

299
00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,613
- I got his pants. - That was my pants.

300
00:14:54,075 --> 00:14:55,643
No points for pants.

301
00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:58,902
Dwight, you have... No, look. No, you have something...

302
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:00,272
You have something...

303
00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,323
God, you look like such an idiot.

304
00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:12,571
Clean technique gentlemen.

305
00:15:12,688 --> 00:15:15,112
Come on. Do that again. Do that again. I dare you.

306
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,431
Okay, break. Break. No holding.

307
00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:21,931
Oh, you can't see ? You can't see ?

308
00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:24,483
One point. Two points. Three points.

309
00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:26,583
- I said break. - How many points now ?

310
00:15:26,657 --> 00:15:27,973
I win, I win.

311
00:15:29,968 --> 00:15:31,500
No, you didn't.

312
00:15:32,877 --> 00:15:34,863
Eight points, nine points.

313
00:15:36,528 --> 00:15:37,792
Stop it. No.

314
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,831
Come on, Michael!

315
00:15:39,908 --> 00:15:41,872
- Open your mouth. - No, Michael !

316
00:15:57,527 --> 00:15:58,641
You talkin' to me ?

317
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,920
You talkin' to me ?

318
00:16:01,748 --> 00:16:03,371
Raging Bull, Pacino.

319
00:16:03,936 --> 00:16:06,183
Oh, I want that footage. I want it. I need it.

320
00:16:07,017 --> 00:16:09,362
Oh, I have to get back to work. I have lots of work.

321
00:16:10,155 --> 00:16:12,171
Check this out, come here.

322
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,653
There he is, Mr.Temp.

323
00:16:14,745 --> 00:16:17,243
Having lunch by the car.

324
00:16:17,886 --> 00:16:20,040
Let us play with him.

325
00:16:20,097 --> 00:16:21,681
See what we can learn.

326
00:16:28,725 --> 00:16:30,721
Oh, we're playing phone tag.

327
00:16:31,897 --> 00:16:33,833
Seven new messages.

328
00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:35,421
First new message.

329
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,242
Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein.

330
00:16:39,237 --> 00:16:42,753
- Next message. - Hey Ryan, this is your girlfriend.

331
00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:44,740
And I'm mad.

332
00:17:06,498 --> 00:17:09,882
My emergency contact is Todd Packer.

333
00:17:10,366 --> 00:17:13,271
Todd F. Packer

334
00:17:13,356 --> 00:17:15,592
- You know what the F stands for ? - Fudge ?

335
00:17:16,376 --> 00:17:18,353
Yeah. Oh, come in.

336
00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:20,373
Oh, hey, Karate Kid.

337
00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,332
The Hillary Swank version.

338
00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,641
Hi, how are you ?

339
00:17:24,857 --> 00:17:27,212
I need to change my emergency contact information

340
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:28,591
from Michael Scott.

341
00:17:29,077 --> 00:17:31,793
- Okay, to what ? - Just put...

342
00:17:32,876 --> 00:17:34,180
The hospital.

343
00:17:34,717 --> 00:17:36,191
Contact number :

344
00:17:36,475 --> 00:17:37,582
Just put 911.

345
00:17:39,077 --> 00:17:41,171
He is such a sore loser.

346
00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:43,032
You heard obviously,

347
00:17:43,175 --> 00:17:45,751
that I mopped the floor with him this afternoon.

348
00:17:47,286 --> 00:17:50,843
You know what, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact.

349
00:17:51,107 --> 00:17:54,143
And I will call the hospital. Cut out the middleman.

350
00:18:04,566 --> 00:18:06,460
- Later Jim. - Later Kev.

351
00:18:13,437 --> 00:18:15,620
- Have a good weekend. - Yeah, you too.

352
00:18:28,118 --> 00:18:29,142
Yeah.

353
00:18:29,307 --> 00:18:30,760
I have the emergency contacts.

354
00:18:30,887 --> 00:18:33,331
Just lay 'em on the chair. I'll take it from here.

355
00:18:33,497 --> 00:18:36,282
So what you up to this weekend ?

356
00:18:37,888 --> 00:18:39,582
Hanging out with some friends probably.

357
00:18:39,617 --> 00:18:41,621
Well, if you do anything crazy, give me a shout.

358
00:18:41,645 --> 00:18:43,640
Yeah. Alright, I will, see you Monday.

359
00:18:43,717 --> 00:18:45,890
Alright. Bye.

360
00:18:54,626 --> 00:18:57,002
- Dwight ? - Michael, did you finish yet ?

361
00:18:57,207 --> 00:18:59,530
This close. Dwight, may I speak with you for a minute.

362
00:18:59,577 --> 00:19:00,592
I'm busy.

363
00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:02,452
Well, busier. But I'm making the time.

364
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,732
Michael, can't your conversation wait till Monday ?

365
00:19:04,837 --> 00:19:06,123
- We want to go home. - Well,

366
00:19:06,227 --> 00:19:08,490
You don't even have anybody to go home to, Toby. So...

367
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,513
The shipping place closes in a half hour.

368
00:19:10,575 --> 00:19:11,561
I know.

369
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:14,743
But I've been carrying the load on my back all day.

370
00:19:14,876 --> 00:19:17,771
And if everyone would just chip in a little bit,

371
00:19:18,707 --> 00:19:20,311
might help me out.

372
00:19:20,537 --> 00:19:21,563
What do you say ?

373
00:19:21,698 --> 00:19:23,363
Let's gang bang this thing and go home.

374
00:19:23,425 --> 00:19:24,443
Good.

375
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,620
- This is illegal. - I don't care.

376
00:19:38,088 --> 00:19:40,512
I have been testing you the entire day.

377
00:19:40,617 --> 00:19:42,221
Did you know that ?

378
00:19:43,897 --> 00:19:45,491
Of course.

379
00:19:45,546 --> 00:19:47,642
And I'm happy to say that you passed.

380
00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:50,752
So, effective immediately, I am promoting you,

381
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,362
from assistant to the regional manager

382
00:19:53,618 --> 00:19:55,223
to assistant regional manager.

383
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,231
Michael...

384
00:20:01,008 --> 00:20:02,850
I don't know. I, I know. I know. I know.

385
00:20:03,148 --> 00:20:06,333
I know. I wouldn't be offering it if I didn't think you could handle it.

386
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:09,350
- I can handle it, I can. - I know. Okay.

387
00:20:12,197 --> 00:20:15,311
So I guess this'll just by my office.

388
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:18,033
No. No. Title change only.

389
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:20,501
- I'll have Pam send out a memo. - No, nope.

390
00:20:20,575 --> 00:20:21,931
Three month probationary period.

391
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,963
Let's just not tell anybody about this right now.

392
00:20:25,048 --> 00:20:26,691
- Just a formality ? - Absolutely.

393
00:20:26,716 --> 00:20:28,231
But not really.

394
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:29,783
Michael.

395
00:20:33,516 --> 00:20:37,492
I have so much, to learn, from you.

396
00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,161
Yes you do.

397
00:20:42,456 --> 00:20:43,962
Thank you.

398
00:20:45,547 --> 00:20:46,661
Sensei.

399
00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:51,683
And, Ditto.

400
00:20:53,348 --> 00:20:56,300
I told Dwight that there is honor in losing.

401
00:20:56,565 --> 00:20:58,713
Which as we all know is completely ridiculous.

402
00:20:58,796 --> 00:21:02,860
But, there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better.

403
00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:04,902
Which is what I just did for Dwight.

404
00:21:05,966 --> 00:21:08,961
Would I rather be feared or loved ?

405
00:21:09,705 --> 00:21:14,470
Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

406
00:21:15,027 --> 00:21:17,792
And I think I proved that today at the dojo.

407
00:21:17,965 --> 00:21:20,793
- Typewriter torture. - Sensei help !

408
00:21:20,897 --> 00:21:22,841
- No. - Typewriter !