1
00:00:00,223 --> 00:00:01,663
Nothing much what's up with you ?

2
00:00:02,311 --> 00:00:03,824
I cannot believe I feel for that.

3
00:00:05,161 --> 00:00:06,123
Gosh.

4
00:00:06,815 --> 00:00:08,997
What ? What ?
Where's the funny ?

5
00:00:10,321 --> 00:00:10,956
Give it to me.

6
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,707
Is it me or does it smell
like updog in here ?

7
00:00:16,352 --> 00:00:17,029
What's updog ?

8
00:00:17,269 --> 00:00:18,763
Nothing much, what's up with you ?

9
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,201
I walked right into that.

10
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,620
Oh, that's brilliant.

11
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,614
Hey Stanley.
Is that jacket made of updog ?

12
00:00:29,711 --> 00:00:30,891
I'm on the phone.

13
00:00:35,978 --> 00:00:37,787
What flavor coffee is that, updog ?

14
00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:39,852
- What's that ?
- I don't know. Nothing.

15
00:00:39,886 --> 00:00:41,051
What's up with you ?

16
00:00:42,316 --> 00:00:43,312
- Huh ?
- No.

17
00:00:43,345 --> 00:00:44,413
Damn it.

18
00:00:44,687 --> 00:00:45,713
What does that mean ?

19
00:00:46,228 --> 00:00:47,150
What does what mean ?

20
00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:49,242
- That thing you just said.
- Just forget it.

21
00:00:50,188 --> 00:00:51,192
Dwight.

22
00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:55,242
Hey, is it me or does this place
smell like updog ?

23
00:00:55,308 --> 00:00:56,943
- What's updog ?
- Gotcha !

24
00:00:57,627 --> 00:00:58,793
Oh God !

25
00:00:59,895 --> 00:01:00,900
Crap.

26
00:01:03,417 --> 00:01:04,662
Nothing.

27
00:01:04,966 --> 00:01:06,512
- How are you doing ?
- Good.

28
00:01:07,617 --> 00:01:08,932
How are you doing ?

29
00:01:12,725 --> 00:01:13,782
"So close."

30
00:01:42,725 --> 00:01:44,931
Saison 2 - Episode 13
The Secret


31
00:01:45,007 --> 00:01:47,901
Transcript par Nikki (twiztv.com)
Sous-titres par la Catch-22 Team

32
00:01:47,976 --> 00:01:50,022
pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/
www.forom.com

33
00:01:51,597 --> 00:01:54,031
Today is spring cleaning day
here at Dunder Mifflin.

34
00:01:54,167 --> 00:01:56,891
And yes, I know it's January.
I am not an idiot.

35
00:01:57,015 --> 00:01:59,631
But if you do your spring cleaning
in January,

36
00:01:59,716 --> 00:02:01,743
guess what you don't have to do
in the spring ?

37
00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:03,600
Anything.

38
00:02:04,278 --> 00:02:06,582
They say a cluttered desk means
a cluttered mind.

39
00:02:06,638 --> 00:02:09,402
Well, I say an empty desk
means an...

40
00:02:09,687 --> 00:02:11,351
- Empty mind.
- No, that's not...

41
00:02:11,406 --> 00:02:13,290
No. That's not what I was going
to say.

42
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,500
Meredith. Men's room.

43
00:02:15,605 --> 00:02:17,700
Make sure you replace
the urinal cakes.

44
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:18,980
They're worn down.

45
00:02:19,026 --> 00:02:21,292
Kevin, file drawers.

46
00:02:22,528 --> 00:02:23,773
Angela, kitchen.

47
00:02:24,217 --> 00:02:26,170
Oscar, dusting.
Where's Oscar ?

48
00:02:26,758 --> 00:02:27,710
He's out sick.

49
00:02:28,935 --> 00:02:30,152
That is unacceptable.

50
00:02:30,248 --> 00:02:31,912
I agree. It's unacceptable.

51
00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,253
What are you guys doing ?

52
00:02:41,466 --> 00:02:42,830
- Michael. 
- Yes.

53
00:02:46,025 --> 00:02:47,651
Oscar is out sick.

54
00:02:49,155 --> 00:02:50,263
On a Friday ?

55
00:02:56,366 --> 00:02:58,691
-Can I do some of the talking ?
- I will do the talking.

56
00:02:58,716 --> 00:03:00,440
'Kay, let him know
that I'm here, though.

57
00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:02,461
What difference does it make
that you're here ?

58
00:03:02,496 --> 00:03:04,173
Hi, Oscar, it's Michael.

59
00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:05,951
And Dwight.

60
00:03:06,757 --> 00:03:08,102
Heard you were under the weather.

61
00:03:08,157 --> 00:03:10,030
<i>Yeah, I think I came down
with the flu.</i>

62
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,560
Really. Oh, that is a shame.

63
00:03:12,668 --> 00:03:14,852
You know, it's cleaning day
here today.

64
00:03:14,907 --> 00:03:17,513
Could've used some of that famous
Hispanic cleaning ethic.

65
00:03:17,577 --> 00:03:18,973
<i>Yeah, I feel terrible about it.</i>

66
00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:21,140
Ask for his symptoms, I'm on WebMD.

67
00:03:21,175 --> 00:03:22,451
What are your symptoms ?

68
00:03:23,358 --> 00:03:26,653
<i>I have the chills, I'm feeling
nauseous,  and my head's killing.</i>

69
00:03:30,357 --> 00:03:31,362
Checks out.

70
00:03:31,387 --> 00:03:34,222
<i>Is there anything you need from me ?
I would like to go back to bed.</i>

71
00:03:34,236 --> 00:03:36,383
I need you to go to bed.
I need you to get better.

72
00:03:36,457 --> 00:03:38,452
See you Monday,
unless you're still sick.

73
00:03:38,577 --> 00:03:41,263
- So, have a great long weekend.
- <i>I'll just be sleep...</i>

74
00:03:42,898 --> 00:03:44,541
Okay, first impressions.

75
00:03:44,955 --> 00:03:45,960
He sounded sick.

76
00:03:45,986 --> 00:03:47,710
Which  is exactly how
you'd want to sound,

77
00:03:47,737 --> 00:03:49,623
if you wanted someone
to think you were sick.

78
00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:52,543
- That's exactly what I was thinking.
- Question, may I investigate ?

79
00:03:52,578 --> 00:03:54,171
Yeah, drop what you're doing.

80
00:03:54,306 --> 00:03:55,712
Make this a priority.

81
00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:59,010
Because an office can't
function efficiently

82
00:03:59,035 --> 00:04:01,820
unless people are at their desks
doing their jobs.

83
00:04:02,557 --> 00:04:05,673
- I bought my veil.
- Oh my God, that is so exciting.

84
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,532
Can I be a bridesmaid ?

85
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:10,703
Listen, you don't have
to answer now,

86
00:04:10,725 --> 00:04:12,370
but how are you going
to do your hair ?

87
00:04:12,406 --> 00:04:15,192
Okay, I was thinking about
wearing it down.

88
00:04:15,228 --> 00:04:17,593
Kind of like, I don't know, like...

89
00:04:17,885 --> 00:04:19,071
loose with big curls.

90
00:04:19,105 --> 00:04:21,763
You look like an angel,
I'm seriously going to cry.

91
00:04:21,816 --> 00:04:23,640
Wowee,

92
00:04:23,815 --> 00:04:25,093
Mikey likey.

93
00:04:25,158 --> 00:04:27,571
Why don't you wear your hair
down like that all the time ?

94
00:04:27,598 --> 00:04:28,731
It's much sexier.

95
00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:33,193
Man, this must be torture for you.

96
00:04:35,385 --> 00:04:37,720
Yeah, on the booze cruise, I...

97
00:04:37,925 --> 00:04:40,532
told Michael about some feelings
I used to have for Pam.

98
00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:44,093
I had just broken up
with Katy, and...

99
00:04:44,277 --> 00:04:46,122
had a couple of drinks. And...

100
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,283
I confided in the world's
worst confidant.

101
00:04:51,218 --> 00:04:52,231
<i>Okay.</i>

102
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,562
- Hey, Mike.
- Hey, Jim bag.

103
00:04:58,338 --> 00:05:01,260
Remember that thing I told you
on the booze cruise about Pam ?

104
00:05:01,436 --> 00:05:03,403
That was personal.

105
00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:06,160
So, if we could just keep that
between you and me,

106
00:05:06,197 --> 00:05:07,092
that would be great.

107
00:05:07,156 --> 00:05:08,170
Really ?

108
00:05:08,695 --> 00:05:10,073
- Who else knows ?
- Nobody.

109
00:05:12,908 --> 00:05:14,273
Jim and I are great friends.

110
00:05:14,346 --> 00:05:15,382
We hang out a ton.

111
00:05:16,227 --> 00:05:17,331
Mostly at work.

112
00:05:18,136 --> 00:05:20,603
But the fact that he told me
his secret and no one else,

113
00:05:20,645 --> 00:05:22,391
says everything about our friendship.

114
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:26,392
And it is why I intend on keeping
that secret,

115
00:05:26,977 --> 00:05:28,560
for as long as I possibly can.

116
00:05:30,027 --> 00:05:32,533
My lips are sealed.
"My lips are sealed." Bangles.

117
00:05:32,617 --> 00:05:34,312
All right, great, thank you.

118
00:05:34,716 --> 00:05:38,291
"Can you hear me,
<i>They talk about us,"<i>

119
00:05:39,265 --> 00:05:40,470
<i>"Telling lies"</i>

120
00:05:40,846 --> 00:05:41,951
Listen, temp,

121
00:05:43,128 --> 00:05:45,052
I am conducting
a little investigation.

122
00:05:45,457 --> 00:05:48,753
So, I am no longer gonna be able
to head up spring cleaning.

123
00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:50,322
Do you think you can handle it ?

124
00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:52,871
- Yeah, I think I can handle it. 
- Do you think...

125
00:05:53,577 --> 00:05:55,312
or do you know ?

126
00:05:55,405 --> 00:05:56,681
I think.

127
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,230
Oh, God. Here.

128
00:06:04,516 --> 00:06:05,820
Hey, whatcha getting ?

129
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,161
I'm going with grape.

130
00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:09,751
Good stuff. Good stuff.

131
00:06:11,307 --> 00:06:12,843
See the game last night ?

132
00:06:12,886 --> 00:06:14,980
- Which game ?
- Any of 'em.

133
00:06:18,207 --> 00:06:20,120
So, uh, what's the 411 ?

134
00:06:20,215 --> 00:06:22,421
Any  updates on the "P" situation ?

135
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,932
- I don't know what you mean...
- P-A-M

136
00:06:24,966 --> 00:06:26,043
- Oh. Yeah. No.
- P-A...

137
00:06:26,107 --> 00:06:27,093
Oh, okay.

138
00:06:27,235 --> 00:06:28,681
No, it's okay. We're talking code.

139
00:06:29,205 --> 00:06:30,483
- What is ?
- Listen, Stan...

140
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,762
how long does it take you
for you to pick out a soda ?

141
00:06:32,806 --> 00:06:35,031
- I'm gonna take off actually.
- All right, well.

142
00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:36,432
Cool.

143
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:39,530
Still deciding ?

144
00:06:42,483 --> 00:06:43,574
Peach iced tea.

145
00:06:45,591 --> 00:06:46,931
You're gonna hate it.

146
00:06:47,048 --> 00:06:49,737
Hey, Oscar, how you doing ?
Dwight Schrute calling.

147
00:06:49,949 --> 00:06:51,733
Listen, little question
for you, buddy.

148
00:06:51,797 --> 00:06:54,940
I called six minutes ago,
and no one answered.

149
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,923
So I as wondering
if you could explain...

150
00:06:57,646 --> 00:06:59,681
Oh, I see. So,

151
00:07:00,208 --> 00:07:02,321
sounds like you're too sick
to come into work,

152
00:07:02,466 --> 00:07:04,650
but you're well enough
to go to the pharmacy.

153
00:07:04,696 --> 00:07:07,501
There are several different ways
to tell if a perp is lying.

154
00:07:08,075 --> 00:07:10,680
The liar will avoid
direct eye contact.

155
00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:15,591
The liar will cover part of his
or her face with his hand.

156
00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:17,131
Especially the mouth.

157
00:07:17,606 --> 00:07:19,361
The liar will perspire.

158
00:07:21,197 --> 00:07:23,213
Unfortunately, I spoke
to Oscar on the phone.

159
00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:24,870
So none of this is useful.

160
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,991
It's grrrrrape soda.

161
00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:35,851
Tony the Tiger, you don't hear
that much anymore.

162
00:07:35,927 --> 00:07:38,372
- Not so much.
- Okay, what is going on here ?

163
00:07:39,488 --> 00:07:41,473
- Nothing.
- Oh, really, nothing ?

164
00:07:42,318 --> 00:07:45,130
Fact, you are drinking grape soda.
You never drink grape soda.

165
00:07:45,216 --> 00:07:48,013
Fact, you are talking to Jim,
you never talk to Jim.

166
00:07:48,096 --> 00:07:50,631
Fact, I love grape soda.
I always have.

167
00:07:50,668 --> 00:07:52,680
Fact, Jim and I talk all the time.

168
00:07:53,115 --> 00:07:54,780
We tell each other secrets.

169
00:07:54,876 --> 00:07:56,481
Okay, so what is
the secret, Michael ?

170
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:58,543
- Well, I...
- I had asked Michael

171
00:07:58,627 --> 00:08:00,501
if I could head up
the Oscar investigation,

172
00:08:00,536 --> 00:08:02,481
and he said that only Dwight

173
00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:05,930
was capable of handling
such sensitive material.

174
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,050
Is that true ?

175
00:08:14,277 --> 00:08:18,250
I don't know.
Uh, yeah, yeah, it is.

176
00:08:19,195 --> 00:08:20,490
Thank you Michael.

177
00:08:21,248 --> 00:08:23,113
- I know you're telling the truth.
- Okay.

178
00:08:23,177 --> 00:08:24,290
I can tell.

179
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:26,691
- I won't let you down.
- Good.

180
00:08:27,776 --> 00:08:28,801
Thanks.

181
00:08:31,797 --> 00:08:33,910
Nice, that was... that was slick.

182
00:08:33,977 --> 00:08:35,940
- What're you doing for lunch ?
- I don't know,

183
00:08:35,988 --> 00:08:38,243
I'm probably just gonna eat
my ham and cheese sandwich

184
00:08:38,287 --> 00:08:40,913
- in the break room.
- Nonsense. No way, no. Why don't...

185
00:08:41,157 --> 00:08:43,072
Why don't I take you
out to lunch ? My treat.

186
00:08:43,117 --> 00:08:45,131
No, that's all right.
Thank you, though. It's...

187
00:08:45,177 --> 00:08:47,771
I gotta do some cleaning.
I should probably stick around here.

188
00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:49,110
You know what we can do ?

189
00:08:49,168 --> 00:08:50,821
Spread  out a blanket
in the break room,

190
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,590
have a little picnic,
order some 'za.

191
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,092
Talk about you-know-who.

192
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:57,712
- Nope.
- The P, to the A, to the...

193
00:08:57,858 --> 00:09:00,531
You know what, let's go out.
That was a good idea. Let's go out.

194
00:09:00,556 --> 00:09:01,573
I know just the place.

195
00:09:04,936 --> 00:09:07,271
Oh, man. You should order milk.

196
00:09:08,408 --> 00:09:09,510
Get it ?

197
00:09:10,635 --> 00:09:12,442
Why do I like Hooters ?

198
00:09:13,246 --> 00:09:17,191
Well, I will give you two reasons.
The boobs and the hot wings.

199
00:09:19,777 --> 00:09:21,462
Oh, here we go, here we go.

200
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,373
- Bogie at three o'clock. Hi.
- Hey, I'm Dana. Welcome to Hooters.

201
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:27,680
We're not worthy.
We're not worthy.

202
00:09:27,886 --> 00:09:32,443
Hello, Dana. 
I am Michael, and this is Jim.

203
00:09:32,617 --> 00:09:34,443
- And we are brothers.
- Nope.

204
00:09:35,047 --> 00:09:37,012
- We're not brothers.
- I'm his boss, actually.

205
00:09:37,066 --> 00:09:38,070
And I treat him well.

206
00:09:38,116 --> 00:09:40,321
I'm taking him out to lunch
because I can afford it.

207
00:09:40,365 --> 00:09:41,972
And he can have whatever he wants.

208
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,262
I'll just have the ham and cheese
sandwich, thanks.

209
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:45,370
And for you ?

210
00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:47,451
Tell me, Dana.
How is your chicken breast ?

211
00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:50,310
Oh,  it's great. It's served with
our world-famous wing sauce.

212
00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:51,871
Mm, sounds yummy.

213
00:09:51,908 --> 00:09:54,861
I  will have a chicken breast.
Hold the chicken.

214
00:09:57,278 --> 00:09:58,731
Is that what you really want ?

215
00:10:02,405 --> 00:10:04,161
No, I'm gonna have
the gourmet hotdog.

216
00:10:04,225 --> 00:10:05,283
Great.

217
00:10:10,825 --> 00:10:13,292
- Who took all the black ones ?
- That's a communal bowl.

218
00:10:13,348 --> 00:10:15,830
So, how did Oscar sound
when he called in ?

219
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,841
Sick. Like, lots of sniffling.
I don't know.

220
00:10:18,915 --> 00:10:20,133
Sniffling how ?

221
00:10:20,926 --> 00:10:23,522
Hum, how many different ways
are there to sniffle ?

222
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:24,663
Three.

223
00:10:25,548 --> 00:10:27,390
Okay, it was the second one.

224
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:28,931
Okay, good. Thank you.

225
00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,461
That wasn't so hard, now was it ?

226
00:10:36,126 --> 00:10:37,871
What do you like best about Pam ?

227
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:42,080
- I really don't wanna talk about it.
- Her legs or boobs, or... ?

228
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:45,522
She's easy to talk to, I guess.

229
00:10:46,435 --> 00:10:48,432
And, she's got a really good
sense of humor.

230
00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:49,511
Really ?

231
00:10:49,877 --> 00:10:51,682
Never gets any of my jokes.

232
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:54,030
What about you ?

233
00:10:54,145 --> 00:10:55,220
Her boobs, definitely.

234
00:10:56,565 --> 00:10:57,891
That's not what I meant.

235
00:10:58,216 --> 00:10:59,652
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.

236
00:10:59,697 --> 00:11:02,242
And I understand,
we have a birthday today !

237
00:11:02,336 --> 00:11:05,713
- Oh, happy birthday, Jim.
- <i>Ready, girls ?</i>

238
00:11:05,838 --> 00:11:08,110
- Front side !
- "You put your front side in,"

239
00:11:08,158 --> 00:11:10,830
"you put your front side out,
You put your front side in,"

240
00:11:10,856 --> 00:11:12,580
"And you shake it all about"

241
00:11:12,708 --> 00:11:15,391
"You do the hokey-pokey
and you turn yourself around,"

242
00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:17,332
"That's what it's all about !"

243
00:11:17,416 --> 00:11:18,592
Thank you.

244
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,660
Thanks. Thanks Dana.

245
00:11:21,786 --> 00:11:23,152
Thank you very much.

246
00:11:26,995 --> 00:11:28,452
That was hilarious. Hey.

247
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,790
What did you guys talk about ?

248
00:11:31,235 --> 00:11:33,262
Just, you know, politics.
Literature.

249
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,112
I hate you.

250
00:11:37,816 --> 00:11:39,293
Quick Oscar update.

251
00:11:39,338 --> 00:11:41,761
I have conducted interviews
with everyone in the office...

252
00:11:41,787 --> 00:11:43,583
Just go to his house
and see if he's sick.

253
00:11:43,617 --> 00:11:45,911
I could've done this investigation
in like, 20 minutes.

254
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,712
- Including prep time ?
- Just do it.

255
00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:56,672
If I had to, I could clean out
my desk in 5 seconds...

256
00:11:57,068 --> 00:11:59,533
and nobody would ever know
I had ever been here.

257
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,112
And I'd forget too.

258
00:12:13,856 --> 00:12:15,010
Expense this.

259
00:12:15,657 --> 00:12:16,982
Michael, is that a wig ?

260
00:12:17,995 --> 00:12:19,943
No, it's...

261
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,280
I wear it like that sometimes.

262
00:12:22,318 --> 00:12:24,483
- Is that a wig ?
- No.

263
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:25,692
This is from Hooters.

264
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,360
Yeah, it's a business lunch.

265
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:29,283
- Did Toby approve this ?
- No, he did not.

266
00:12:29,337 --> 00:12:31,062
I don't need his permission.

267
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:33,511
You just got your corporate
credit card back.

268
00:12:33,547 --> 00:12:35,442
Do you really want me
to take it away again ?

269
00:12:35,857 --> 00:12:38,432
It's ridiculous.
They took my card away because

270
00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:40,641
I spent 80 bucks at a magic shop.

271
00:12:40,925 --> 00:12:43,842
What they don't understand
is that I bought the stuff

272
00:12:44,248 --> 00:12:45,783
to impress potential clients.

273
00:12:45,876 --> 00:12:48,272
So business-related, right ?

274
00:12:48,396 --> 00:12:51,442
I put a cigarette through
a freakin' quarter.

275
00:12:51,715 --> 00:12:54,333
And you know what, Toby ?
They almost bought from us.

276
00:12:54,675 --> 00:12:58,893
- I'm not processing this.
- Look, Jim needed a relaxing lunch.

277
00:12:58,968 --> 00:13:00,153
He has been depressed.

278
00:13:00,198 --> 00:13:02,180
And it has been affecting
his productivity.

279
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,832
How is that not work-related ?

280
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:04,970
He seems fine to me.

281
00:13:04,997 --> 00:13:06,800
You're not his friend.
You don't know.

282
00:13:06,858 --> 00:13:09,742
He is in love with a girl
he works with who's engaged.

283
00:13:09,796 --> 00:13:12,021
So just cut me some slack, please.

284
00:13:12,388 --> 00:13:13,323
Pam ?

285
00:13:18,828 --> 00:13:19,992
Oh, crap.

286
00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:24,133
Angela, who would you choose ?
Jim or Roy ?

287
00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:25,701
It's nobody's business, Phyllis.

288
00:13:27,658 --> 00:13:28,691
Roy.

289
00:13:29,996 --> 00:13:32,401
Jim has got it bad for Pam.

290
00:13:33,776 --> 00:13:34,953
Which one is Pam ?

291
00:13:35,866 --> 00:13:38,040
Well, she...
Hey, Michael ?

292
00:13:38,787 --> 00:13:41,161
So do you think Jim will try
to break up the wedding ?

293
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,621
You know what, Kevin ?
Jim is a friend of mine.

294
00:13:43,668 --> 00:13:47,662
So the only people that this crush
really concerns is Jim and Pam..

295
00:13:48,006 --> 00:13:49,230
and me.

296
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,631
As a volunteer sheriff's deputy,

297
00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:54,503
I've been doing surveillance
for years.

298
00:13:54,788 --> 00:13:56,021
One time,

299
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,683
I suspected an ex-girlfriend
of mine of cheating on me.

300
00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:01,652
So I tailed her for
six nights straight.

301
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,452
Turns out, she was.

302
00:14:04,157 --> 00:14:06,362
With a couple of guys,
actually, so.

303
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:10,852
Mystery solved.

304
00:14:11,358 --> 00:14:15,290
Jim, why didn't you tell me
that you had a crush on Pam ?

305
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:18,820
Well, the cat's out of the bag.

306
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:20,793
I used to have a crush on Pam.

307
00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:23,331
And now I... don't.

308
00:14:25,138 --> 00:14:26,211
Riveting.

309
00:14:28,607 --> 00:14:29,822
Yeah.

310
00:14:30,276 --> 00:14:31,303
No, it's not.

311
00:14:31,388 --> 00:14:32,480
Nice.

312
00:14:34,238 --> 00:14:36,043
She is so hot.

313
00:14:41,076 --> 00:14:42,463
- Hey.
- Hey.

314
00:14:43,108 --> 00:14:44,891
Did you find anything good
in your desk ?

315
00:14:45,747 --> 00:14:47,250
Coupon for a free sandwich.

316
00:14:47,325 --> 00:14:49,191
- Score.
- Expired in August. 

317
00:14:49,357 --> 00:14:51,782
And my cell phone charger
from two years ago.

318
00:14:51,828 --> 00:14:53,253
- Big day.
- Big day.

319
00:14:54,988 --> 00:14:56,270
Hey, uh, listen.

320
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:05,183
I, told Michael
on the booze cruise...

321
00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:07,242
It was so stupid.

322
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:15,220
I told Michael, that I had had
a crush on you...

323
00:15:15,797 --> 00:15:17,930
when you first started here.

324
00:15:19,395 --> 00:15:21,270
Well, I just thought that...

325
00:15:21,936 --> 00:15:24,071
I figured you should hear it
from me.

326
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,690
Rather than, I mean,
you know Michael.

327
00:15:28,896 --> 00:15:30,193
Right.

328
00:15:30,588 --> 00:15:31,963
And...

329
00:15:32,287 --> 00:15:33,661
seriously. It's...

330
00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:35,551
totally not a big deal.

331
00:15:35,666 --> 00:15:36,702
Okay ?

332
00:15:38,345 --> 00:15:41,273
And when I found out that
you were engaged, I mean...

333
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,812
No, I know. Like, I kind of...

334
00:15:44,707 --> 00:15:45,802
Like, I...

335
00:15:46,106 --> 00:15:47,540
I thought that maybe you did.

336
00:15:47,938 --> 00:15:49,871
- When I first started.
- Oh, you did ?

337
00:15:50,026 --> 00:15:52,241
No, I mean, just 'cause we,
like, got along so well.

338
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,332
No, I know, yeah.
You saw through me. Great.

339
00:15:57,127 --> 00:15:59,581
So are you gonna be, like,
totally awkward around me now ?

340
00:15:59,607 --> 00:16:01,343
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

341
00:16:02,788 --> 00:16:03,972
Hope that's okay.

342
00:16:08,087 --> 00:16:09,191
And Pam.

343
00:16:09,988 --> 00:16:11,722
It was like, three years ago.

344
00:16:12,228 --> 00:16:14,922
So, I am totally over it.

345
00:16:16,825 --> 00:16:17,801
Cool.

346
00:16:18,175 --> 00:16:19,202
Okay.

347
00:16:27,698 --> 00:16:28,762
Stay low.

348
00:16:32,636 --> 00:16:34,463
This is it. There he is.

349
00:16:34,938 --> 00:16:37,581
He's been gone for at least two...
Who is that ?

350
00:16:38,696 --> 00:16:39,733
Come to Papa.

351
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:45,043
Oh, yes.

352
00:16:46,308 --> 00:16:47,860
Let's roll.

353
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,872
I knew it !

354
00:16:54,408 --> 00:16:57,282
Oh, man, you are so busted.

355
00:16:57,545 --> 00:17:00,080
Ice skates. Shopping bags.

356
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,370
I think I know what's going on here.

357
00:17:03,138 --> 00:17:04,891
You weren't sick at all.

358
00:17:05,046 --> 00:17:06,142
Who's this ?

359
00:17:06,186 --> 00:17:08,681
This is Dwight Schrute.
Who is this ?

360
00:17:09,727 --> 00:17:10,740
Gil.

361
00:17:11,318 --> 00:17:13,043
Are you going to tell Michael ?

362
00:17:13,215 --> 00:17:14,571
How 'bout this ?

363
00:17:14,626 --> 00:17:15,841
I don't tell Michael,

364
00:17:15,957 --> 00:17:18,803
and in exchange,
you owe me one great, big,

365
00:17:18,898 --> 00:17:24,432
giant favor redeemable by me
at a time and place of my choosing.

366
00:17:24,907 --> 00:17:26,950
Guess what I found out
about Oscar tonight ?

367
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:30,943
He was lying about being sick.

368
00:17:31,646 --> 00:17:34,382
Should I have reported
Oscar's malfeasance ?

369
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,572
Probably.

370
00:17:36,626 --> 00:17:38,853
But now I know something
he doesn't want me to know.

371
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:41,183
So I can use his malfeasance...

372
00:17:41,236 --> 00:17:42,652
to establish leverage.

373
00:17:43,176 --> 00:17:47,863
Otherwise, it's just malfeasance,
for malfeasance's...s sake.

374
00:17:51,155 --> 00:17:52,933
- Hey.
- I know.

375
00:17:53,766 --> 00:17:55,313
I know. I know.

376
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,210
- What happened ?
- I... oh. Just, you know,

377
00:18:02,528 --> 00:18:04,910
I was trying...
just the expense reports.

378
00:18:04,978 --> 00:18:07,873
And then... God, Toby,
you know ? He just...

379
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,033
I know. I just... 

380
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:12,312
I just hope that...

381
00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:15,323
I just hope that this doesn't
affect our friendship !

382
00:18:18,648 --> 00:18:21,373
It's stupid. This is so stupid.

383
00:18:23,948 --> 00:18:25,473
Listen, man, it's...

384
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,663
You know, it's not a big deal.
It's gonna be fine.

385
00:18:28,725 --> 00:18:30,150
No, I know. I'm good, I'm good.

386
00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:31,093
It's just...

387
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,252
L ook,

388
00:18:33,778 --> 00:18:36,092
it's one day.
Everything's gonna be all right.

389
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:37,292
- Yeah, okay.
- You good ?

390
00:18:37,328 --> 00:18:38,553
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Okay.

391
00:18:40,595 --> 00:18:42,673
Creed, did you organize
the menu book ?

392
00:18:42,908 --> 00:18:45,552
I thought that was more
on a volunteer basis.

393
00:18:46,337 --> 00:18:48,592
No, that was mandatory.

394
00:18:48,688 --> 00:18:50,703
I thought it was a volunteer thing.

395
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:58,600
Hey, here's your schedule for next week.

396
00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:01,870
- Are you okay ?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

397
00:19:01,957 --> 00:19:03,142
Look.

398
00:19:03,647 --> 00:19:05,613
- About you and Jim, I...
- Oh, no, that's...

399
00:19:05,668 --> 00:19:06,871
- You don't have to...
- No,

400
00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:10,151
I just feel it's my responsibility
as your boss-slash-friend...

401
00:19:10,296 --> 00:19:11,682
No, it's really... it's okay.

402
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:15,282
I know that Jim had, like,
a crush on me when he first started.

403
00:19:15,356 --> 00:19:17,162
But that was a long time ago, so...

404
00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:20,903
It wasn't that long ago.
It was on the booze cruise.

405
00:19:22,777 --> 00:19:24,531
Jim had a crush on me
on the booze cruise,

406
00:19:24,576 --> 00:19:26,770
or he told you about it
on the booze cruise.

407
00:19:28,707 --> 00:19:32,773
Okay. Shut it, Michael. I'm done.

408
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,112
That's it, I'm out.

409
00:19:39,468 --> 00:19:40,971
- Ready ?
- Yup.

410
00:19:47,958 --> 00:19:49,703
People are always coming to me.

411
00:19:49,748 --> 00:19:51,223
Michael, I have a secret.

412
00:19:51,377 --> 00:19:52,761
You're the only one I trust.

413
00:19:53,688 --> 00:19:54,810
No thanks,

414
00:19:54,876 --> 00:19:56,933
because keeping a secret

415
00:19:57,656 --> 00:19:59,322
can only lead to trouble.

416
00:19:59,568 --> 00:20:02,872
Like, I was watching Cinemax
last weekend, this movie.

417
00:20:04,668 --> 00:20:06,131
"Portrait of a...

418
00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:08,343
Prostitute."

419
00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:09,681
Something...

420
00:20:09,727 --> 00:20:12,060
Secrets of a call...
More "Secrets of a Call Girl."

421
00:20:12,158 --> 00:20:13,932
And the lead character, Shila,

422
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:15,833
is framed for murder.

423
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:16,631
Goes on the run,

424
00:20:17,137 --> 00:20:20,180
and winds up working
at a bordello in Malibu.

425
00:20:22,235 --> 00:20:24,433
I don't... 
I don't wanna live like that.

426
00:20:25,188 --> 00:20:26,361
I like it here.

427
00:20:27,037 --> 00:20:30,190
I don't wanna be Shila.
I like being Michael Scott.



9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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