1 00:00:05,102 --> 00:00:05,892 What ? 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:07,186 Oh, nothing. 3 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,752 Pam's on vacation. 4 00:00:10,948 --> 00:00:11,941 And she gets back tomorrow. 5 00:00:11,972 --> 00:00:13,283 So, it'll be nice to see her. 6 00:00:14,134 --> 00:00:15,715 It'll be nice. And... 7 00:00:15,736 --> 00:00:17,733 She set a date for the wedding with Roy. 8 00:00:18,747 --> 00:00:20,137 June, summer. 9 00:00:20,399 --> 00:00:21,748 So, that'll be nice. 10 00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:24,560 And that's that. 11 00:00:27,493 --> 00:00:28,796 What ? 12 00:00:29,339 --> 00:00:31,340 Oh, nothing. 13 00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:36,816 Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. 14 00:00:37,959 --> 00:00:39,563 I would be creeped out by it. 15 00:00:39,675 --> 00:00:42,813 But it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. 16 00:01:22,407 --> 00:01:25,970 Transcripts : Nikki (twiztv.com) Synchronisation : Occeane http://pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/ 17 00:01:27,416 --> 00:01:29,343 Spamster. 18 00:01:31,598 --> 00:01:33,701 Pam, plus Spam, plus... 19 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,232 - Hamster. - Right. 20 00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:36,611 Welcome back. How was your vacation ? 21 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:39,001 - It was great. - Yeah ? Did you get lucky ? 22 00:01:40,048 --> 00:01:41,640 Oop ! Boink. 23 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,150 Roy and I just got back from the Poconos. 24 00:01:44,748 --> 00:01:46,670 I get ten vacation days a year. 25 00:01:46,768 --> 00:01:50,283 And I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. 26 00:01:50,447 --> 00:01:53,972 And this year I got to the third week in January. 27 00:01:55,347 --> 00:01:57,791 I am Pam. Spicoli guy. 28 00:01:58,648 --> 00:02:00,793 Oh, God. 29 00:02:01,008 --> 00:02:02,602 He needs numbers. Okay. 30 00:02:02,688 --> 00:02:05,570 Whoa ! God ! Yuck ! Yuck, yuck, yuck. 31 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,280 - What ? - Yuck ! Wow ! What happened in there ? 32 00:02:08,317 --> 00:02:11,473 - I don't know. - There is stink in there. My God ! 33 00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:14,840 - What is- what is that ? - Oh, I don't know. 34 00:02:14,945 --> 00:02:17,361 - Is that a bird ? - No, I don't think it's a bird. 35 00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:21,090 Oh, God, how could that happen ? How could... 36 00:02:21,526 --> 00:02:23,682 - Right in the middle of the carpet. - What's going on ? 37 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,220 Somebody vomited right in the middle of the carpet in my office. 38 00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:30,222 - I don't think that's vomit. - Check it out. 39 00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:32,912 - Me ? - Check it out. 40 00:02:34,678 --> 00:02:37,521 Don't be a wuss. Just get, no, I'm not holding your coffee. 41 00:02:37,795 --> 00:02:39,883 - Tell me what it is. - Oh, that's a real bitch. 42 00:02:39,968 --> 00:02:41,370 What is it ? 43 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,561 - Michael. - What is it ? 44 00:02:43,635 --> 00:02:45,000 No, just tell me what it is. 45 00:02:45,097 --> 00:02:48,832 Michael, I gotta get outta here ! I can't hold my breath that long. 46 00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:50,662 Open the door up. 47 00:02:50,768 --> 00:02:52,943 It smelled terrible. 48 00:02:57,296 --> 00:02:59,471 Oh ! Phew ! 49 00:02:59,515 --> 00:03:01,561 Oh, no ! 50 00:03:02,935 --> 00:03:04,972 I cannot believe a pipe burst and left that there. 51 00:03:05,136 --> 00:03:07,002 - That's no burst pipe. - Well, how do you know that ? 52 00:03:07,096 --> 00:03:08,173 What is it then ? 53 00:03:08,228 --> 00:03:10,822 Hey guys ! Somebody making soup ? 54 00:03:14,165 --> 00:03:17,493 Here she comes. All clean ? Great. 55 00:03:21,177 --> 00:03:22,732 - Too stinky. - That is worse. 56 00:03:23,118 --> 00:03:26,152 She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. 57 00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:28,142 Total permeation. 58 00:03:28,406 --> 00:03:30,170 I am a big fan of Fear Factor. 59 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:33,251 I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually. 60 00:03:34,015 --> 00:03:36,433 So, this is sort of like my audition tape. 61 00:03:41,775 --> 00:03:42,723 I can't stand it 62 00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:45,223 I can't stand it in here another second. 63 00:03:49,116 --> 00:03:50,921 Hey, welcome back. 64 00:03:51,085 --> 00:03:51,943 Thanks. 65 00:03:52,028 --> 00:03:54,493 So, how was the resort ? Did you ski a lot ? 66 00:03:55,298 --> 00:03:56,393 A little. 67 00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:57,900 Good. 68 00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:00,701 What's going on here ? 69 00:04:02,996 --> 00:04:04,030 What ? 70 00:04:04,365 --> 00:04:05,663 I did not do that. 71 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:07,840 That sounds disgusting. 72 00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,792 It wasn't me. 73 00:04:13,256 --> 00:04:14,473 It wasn't me 74 00:04:15,007 --> 00:04:16,343 It was not me. 75 00:04:26,785 --> 00:04:27,452 Hey, Jim ! 76 00:04:27,508 --> 00:04:30,640 I thought that we would be desk buddies while they change my carpet. 77 00:04:32,177 --> 00:04:34,621 That might be a little difficult with the one computer. 78 00:04:36,315 --> 00:04:38,052 But there's definitely a desk open in the back. 79 00:04:38,415 --> 00:04:39,443 Yeah.. 80 00:04:41,565 --> 00:04:44,363 - Which I guess I'll be taking. - No, seriously. I don't mind sharing. 81 00:04:44,466 --> 00:04:46,983 No, no, no. Seriously. I'll be in the back. 82 00:04:51,297 --> 00:04:52,643 Hey, Kelly. 83 00:04:54,485 --> 00:04:55,852 Are you moving back here ? 84 00:04:56,097 --> 00:04:58,611 Just for the day while Michael's at my desk. 85 00:04:58,818 --> 00:05:00,703 Because Toby used to sit there. 86 00:05:00,785 --> 00:05:03,091 But then he had to move over there because of an allergy. 87 00:05:03,816 --> 00:05:07,280 Allergy to...the desk ? 88 00:05:07,835 --> 00:05:09,123 Weird. 89 00:05:09,956 --> 00:05:14,180 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ol' bullpen. 90 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,840 - The ol' bullpen. - Don't hate me. 91 00:05:17,576 --> 00:05:19,643 - Okay. - This is great. 92 00:05:20,065 --> 00:05:21,301 Yeah. 93 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,423 The pressures of my office are insane. 94 00:05:23,606 --> 00:05:24,970 I just- you couldn't understand. 95 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,093 But you guys have it easy out here. 96 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,430 You know, I used to sit right here ? 97 00:05:29,508 --> 00:05:31,280 - No way. - Yeah 98 00:05:31,468 --> 00:05:34,030 And who had your office ? 99 00:05:34,387 --> 00:05:35,872 Ed Truck. 100 00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:39,313 Ed Truck was the manager before me. 101 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,000 Horrible. He hated fun. 102 00:05:41,147 --> 00:05:44,172 It was like, Ed Truck is walking toward us.Stop having fun. 103 00:05:44,487 --> 00:05:46,730 Start pretending to do work. 104 00:05:46,937 --> 00:05:49,631 What a jerk. He's...You know what ? 105 00:05:50,777 --> 00:05:53,810 I swore to myself, that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, 106 00:05:53,935 --> 00:05:56,060 people would laugh when they saw me coming. 107 00:05:56,188 --> 00:05:58,930 And would applaud as I walked away. 108 00:05:59,407 --> 00:06:02,240 I'm serious, my closet doors will not shut. 109 00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:05,860 I mean, it only takes so long to measure to make sure that clothes will hang up. 110 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,091 Cause aren't all hangers like, that big ? 111 00:06:08,215 --> 00:06:10,752 So I don't understand why the closet engineer didn't think of that. 112 00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:12,551 So now I'm doing this new thing, 113 00:06:12,565 --> 00:06:14,561 where I just leave piles of clothes on the floor. 114 00:06:14,778 --> 00:06:16,952 And I walk around the piles to get an outfit... 115 00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:18,870 You know who used to sit at that desk ? 116 00:06:19,007 --> 00:06:21,470 That guy Miles who quit to form his own company ? 117 00:06:22,276 --> 00:06:23,361 Todd Packer. 118 00:06:23,465 --> 00:06:24,172 - No. - Yeah. 119 00:06:24,255 --> 00:06:27,471 - I thought he was out on the road. - He was, but... 120 00:06:27,925 --> 00:06:31,671 That desk was empty. He'd come in and sit there sometimes. 121 00:06:34,118 --> 00:06:37,482 When I was in training, many years ago. Not so long ago. 122 00:06:38,145 --> 00:06:41,422 I worked side by side with a fellow named Todd Packer. 123 00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:45,453 And together we rocked the office. 124 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:51,491 Packer and I once spent a whole day with our pants off. 125 00:06:51,905 --> 00:06:54,751 And when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy. 126 00:06:54,845 --> 00:06:57,910 I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. 127 00:06:58,078 --> 00:06:59,653 Excuse me one second please. 128 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,193 What is it that you need right now that can't wait, 129 00:07:02,197 --> 00:07:04,541 until I'm off the phone with a customer ? 130 00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:07,262 A customer. Well, sound the alarm. 131 00:07:08,787 --> 00:07:09,533 Okay. 132 00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:13,152 Another time, Packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like a minute. 133 00:07:13,255 --> 00:07:16,321 Guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired. 134 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,980 - What did you hit me for ? - Oh, Charlie Horse. 135 00:07:20,115 --> 00:07:21,500 - What ? - Charlie Horse ! 136 00:07:21,635 --> 00:07:23,391 - You shouldn't have hit me, Michael. - Okay ! 137 00:07:23,715 --> 00:07:28,103 Once, as a joke Packer banged every chick in the office. 138 00:07:28,326 --> 00:07:30,553 It was hysterical. 139 00:07:31,105 --> 00:07:36,151 Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs, 140 00:07:36,296 --> 00:07:38,330 Basically anything that is awesome. 141 00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:40,240 - Sno-cones... - Hey, Jim. 142 00:07:40,317 --> 00:07:43,682 Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair. 143 00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:47,580 - It's the lever on the side. - That's what I told him. Thanks. 144 00:07:52,503 --> 00:07:55,786 Oh, my God. He is so cute. 145 00:07:56,389 --> 00:07:59,530 Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me ? 146 00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:03,756 - No, I don't think I can. - Please Jim. Please, please, Jim 147 00:08:03,919 --> 00:08:07,002 Please, please ? He's so cute. I like him so much. 148 00:08:07,135 --> 00:08:10,041 And I would do it, but I'm too shy. Please, Jim ? Please, please. 149 00:08:10,306 --> 00:08:13,731 Please ? Please, Jim, please ? Please, please ? 150 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,433 - Dwight. - Michael. 151 00:08:17,486 --> 00:08:20,942 - Let's set up accounting. - What ? 152 00:08:21,388 --> 00:08:24,571 Old-fashioned raid. Sales on accounting. 153 00:08:24,708 --> 00:08:27,510 Follow my lead. 154 00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:31,120 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Michael. 155 00:08:31,215 --> 00:08:32,883 - What's up ? - Hey, Dwight. 156 00:08:42,297 --> 00:08:44,471 Come on, come on ! 157 00:08:46,566 --> 00:08:48,440 - Sales rule ! - Yes ! 158 00:08:48,576 --> 00:08:50,352 Yeah, yeah ! 159 00:08:53,037 --> 00:08:55,233 - Should we help them pick up their stuff ? - No, no... 160 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,802 We don't do that. We don't do that. 161 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,902 Watch out Pam. You're next. 162 00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:00,722 You're gonna throw my things on the ground ? 163 00:09:00,826 --> 00:09:02,633 Maybe. 164 00:09:02,826 --> 00:09:05,222 What happened in Michael's office is wrong. 165 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,303 I understand it. It makes sense. 166 00:09:10,815 --> 00:09:13,192 But it's, but it was still wrong. 167 00:09:13,338 --> 00:09:16,150 Why would somebody ruin a perfectly good carpet ? 168 00:09:17,745 --> 00:09:19,671 I don't know. 169 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,912 Could have been done out of hate. Could be done out of love 170 00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:27,881 It could be completely neutral. 171 00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,121 Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. 172 00:09:30,296 --> 00:09:33,092 Well, she doesn't do a very good job, obviously. 173 00:09:33,178 --> 00:09:37,801 because my office still reeks like you would not believe. 174 00:09:38,507 --> 00:09:41,050 I hate her. 175 00:09:43,398 --> 00:09:45,372 You know what ? I am beginning to think, 176 00:09:45,598 --> 00:09:49,551 that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. 177 00:09:49,858 --> 00:09:53,001 Against the office. The only thing that makes sense. 178 00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:55,482 Hello, am I the 107th caller ? 179 00:09:58,908 --> 00:10:01,400 Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller ? 180 00:10:04,956 --> 00:10:07,450 Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller ? 181 00:10:09,205 --> 00:10:10,583 I'm totally going to win us that box set. 182 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,783 Stop. Stop it. 183 00:10:15,558 --> 00:10:17,530 Stop it. 184 00:10:19,665 --> 00:10:20,972 Don't. 185 00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:22,850 Don't. 186 00:10:23,407 --> 00:10:24,930 I need to make a sales call. 187 00:10:27,366 --> 00:10:29,050 - Please. - All right. 188 00:10:39,686 --> 00:10:41,161 Am I the 107th caller ? 189 00:10:41,828 --> 00:10:43,672 That is so soon. 190 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:46,493 We'll go back. We'll go back in a couple weeks, baby. 191 00:10:46,697 --> 00:10:49,523 - Yeah, right. - Okay, maybe another month then 192 00:10:49,658 --> 00:10:51,650 Maybe for, like, Presidents' Day or something. 193 00:10:51,788 --> 00:10:53,500 We can do a three day weekend. 194 00:10:53,608 --> 00:10:58,573 And maybe when we get back, I can call in sick, and get a four day weekend. 195 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:01,831 And when I wake up, I feel fine. It's so weird. 196 00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:04,690 And I just hate it. 'Cause I try to go to bed at, like, 197 00:11:04,778 --> 00:11:05,933 - Are you kidding? 198 00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:07,300 Hi, guys. 199 00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:09,980 We haven't finished getting things in order from your last visit. 200 00:11:10,118 --> 00:11:11,763 - I'm just walking around. - Were you ? 201 00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:12,781 Well, yeah. 202 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,711 It's just that we're really swamped over here Michael. 203 00:11:14,828 --> 00:11:16,502 I'm not ? Why would you say that ? 204 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,261 Because I'm having fun ? 205 00:11:18,285 --> 00:11:21,421 You guys just are working for the weekend, aren't you ? 206 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,833 I'm working for the week. Sales team. 207 00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:27,003 Listen to me. This is what we're gonna do. 208 00:11:27,786 --> 00:11:30,200 I'm gonna up the ante a little bit literally. 209 00:11:30,418 --> 00:11:32,913 Right here, I'm going to put a crisp $100 bill. 210 00:11:33,086 --> 00:11:35,761 The person with the most sales at the end of the day gets to keep the cash. 211 00:11:35,937 --> 00:11:37,513 Sound good ? 212 00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,871 70, 80, 1, 2, 3. 213 00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:42,853 $83. Still a lot of money. 214 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:47,350 And I'm going to... I'm going to leave it right over here. 215 00:11:47,866 --> 00:11:49,962 Where everybody can see it. 216 00:11:50,537 --> 00:11:54,950 I will be taking Jim's clients today, because he is not here. 217 00:11:55,127 --> 00:11:58,023 And out of sight, out of the contest. 218 00:11:58,178 --> 00:11:59,832 Let's see who winds up with the cash, shall we ? 219 00:11:59,897 --> 00:12:03,253 - You're going to compete against us ? - Oh, it is on, Phyllis ! It is so on ! 220 00:12:03,336 --> 00:12:05,911 - It is so on ! - God, this is gonna be fun. 221 00:12:07,495 --> 00:12:10,291 Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us. 222 00:12:19,455 --> 00:12:22,252 So you have 40 boxes going out. 223 00:12:22,285 --> 00:12:24,480 And I will deliver those personally in the Sebring. 224 00:12:24,805 --> 00:12:27,450 Very good. Nice doing business with you. Thank you. 225 00:12:27,905 --> 00:12:29,813 Yes !! 226 00:12:31,026 --> 00:12:33,521 Yeah. Read it and weep. 227 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:36,423 Look at that. Look at me Phyllis. 228 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,530 Oh, what is that ? That's my sale. 229 00:12:46,697 --> 00:12:48,451 - What what's that ? What you doing ? - Nothing. 230 00:12:48,555 --> 00:12:50,370 - I think he's dancing. - No, just... 231 00:12:50,625 --> 00:12:52,621 - That was definitely not dancing. - You know what, guys ? 232 00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,270 It's none of your concern. It was official business. So just... 233 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,471 - Paper business ? - Yeah, paper business. Is this done ? 234 00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:58,860 N ope. 235 00:12:59,118 --> 00:13:01,932 Extreme Home Makeover puts together a house in an hour. 236 00:13:02,016 --> 00:13:04,611 If you were on that crew, you'd be fired like that. 237 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,731 Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet. 238 00:13:09,446 --> 00:13:11,332 Maybe that's all we need to know. 239 00:13:17,976 --> 00:13:20,013 - Who do you think did it ? - Are you kidding ? 240 00:13:20,086 --> 00:13:22,660 - I thought it was you. - Really ? I thought you. 241 00:13:31,028 --> 00:13:32,452 This was no act of God. 242 00:13:32,538 --> 00:13:35,380 A person did this. A person who works in this office. 243 00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:37,590 Maybe all of them. 244 00:13:38,296 --> 00:13:39,651 You know what ? 245 00:13:39,946 --> 00:13:43,531 Today is not a good day for a sales contest. 246 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,780 - We're-we're not doing this today. - That doesn't seem fair. 247 00:13:46,966 --> 00:13:50,320 You want to talk about fair ? Does anyone need to smell my old carpet? 248 00:13:51,105 --> 00:13:54,103 You explain to me how that was fair. And I'll explain to you how this is fair. 249 00:13:54,607 --> 00:13:58,243 Plus, I just, I think that picking today was sort of taking advantage. 250 00:13:58,328 --> 00:14:02,050 - But you're the one who picked today. - I am a victim of a hate crime. 251 00:14:03,227 --> 00:14:04,790 Stanley knows what I'm talking about. 252 00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:09,022 - That's not what a hate crime is. - Well, I hated it, a lot, okay ? 253 00:14:09,135 --> 00:14:11,011 I, you know what ? 254 00:14:11,148 --> 00:14:14,811 If the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment... 255 00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,010 We'd be done. 256 00:14:21,158 --> 00:14:23,350 Very well. Then you're all punished. 257 00:14:23,566 --> 00:14:25,692 - What's our punishment ? - You're all on time out. 258 00:14:27,295 --> 00:14:29,121 Just sit there quietly. 259 00:14:40,548 --> 00:14:41,550 Hey. 260 00:14:41,828 --> 00:14:43,501 - What's up ? - Nothing much. 261 00:14:44,396 --> 00:14:45,760 Let me ask you something. 262 00:14:45,807 --> 00:14:47,773 It's actually a little awkward. 263 00:14:47,897 --> 00:14:50,803 What do you think of Kelly ? 264 00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:52,912 I don't know. 265 00:14:53,265 --> 00:14:55,351 Depends if you like a little junk in... 266 00:14:57,425 --> 00:14:58,861 She's really cool. 267 00:14:58,935 --> 00:15:01,263 - Are you interested in her ? - Yeah, totally. 268 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:03,253 - Really ? - Did she say something ? 269 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,033 She said lots of things. 270 00:15:05,407 --> 00:15:08,051 Do you know if she's looking for a long-term thing ? 271 00:15:08,095 --> 00:15:10,861 Or if she'd be cool just, hanging out ? 272 00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:14,223 - I have no idea. - Can you find out ? 273 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:17,171 Yeah. 274 00:15:18,157 --> 00:15:19,131 Sure. 275 00:15:21,146 --> 00:15:22,582 Long-term, definitely. 276 00:15:22,748 --> 00:15:26,142 Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. 277 00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:27,661 But don't tell him that, okay ? 278 00:15:27,778 --> 00:15:29,770 Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything. 279 00:15:29,817 --> 00:15:31,550 I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows. 280 00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,421 Do you remember Ed Truck ? 281 00:15:33,825 --> 00:15:35,813 Sure, he hired me. How's he doing ? 282 00:15:36,786 --> 00:15:38,142 How would I know ? 283 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:39,342 I thought you might. 284 00:15:40,048 --> 00:15:41,643 My biggest fear is turning into him. 285 00:15:42,198 --> 00:15:44,242 Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that. 286 00:15:44,966 --> 00:15:46,902 I wasn't talking literally, Creed. 287 00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:49,162 Yeah, being buried alive would be worse. 288 00:15:49,356 --> 00:15:50,893 Happy ? Why am I talking to you ? 289 00:15:51,846 --> 00:15:52,452 Ed ! 290 00:15:52,855 --> 00:15:54,173 Hi, thanks for meeting me. 291 00:15:55,868 --> 00:15:57,800 Must be kind of neat coming back. 292 00:15:58,175 --> 00:15:59,673 Yeah. Shall we go upstairs ? 293 00:16:00,148 --> 00:16:02,710 Well, honestly, Ed, I really don't want to be up there right now. 294 00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:06,092 So, what's the problem with my pension ? 295 00:16:06,858 --> 00:16:08,022 No, no, no. You're good. 296 00:16:08,076 --> 00:16:09,543 It was clerical. You're good. 297 00:16:10,525 --> 00:16:12,750 Well, somebody did something in my office. 298 00:16:12,916 --> 00:16:15,943 And I now think that they did it on purpose and it was directed at me. 299 00:16:16,037 --> 00:16:17,253 But what was done ? 300 00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:20,101 I didn't get a good look at it. 301 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,661 But it smells horrible. 302 00:16:23,428 --> 00:16:26,211 Yeah, somebody once did that in my office. 303 00:16:27,105 --> 00:16:27,801 - Really. - Yeah. 304 00:16:27,845 --> 00:16:28,801 Well, that figures. 305 00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:32,761 So how did you deal with people not liking you ? 306 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,310 You can't expect to be friends with everybody. 307 00:16:36,848 --> 00:16:37,733 - sure I can. - No. 308 00:16:37,888 --> 00:16:39,802 They'll always think of you as a boss first. 309 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,651 Not necessarily. 310 00:16:41,856 --> 00:16:43,900 You can love a boss like you do a father. 311 00:16:44,225 --> 00:16:45,661 I'm not sure that ever happens. 312 00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:48,963 Well, ok, different management styles. 313 00:16:49,026 --> 00:16:51,220 Why can't your workers be your workers ? 314 00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:54,092 Family be your family, your friends be your friends ? 315 00:16:54,928 --> 00:16:57,943 Last week, I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. 316 00:16:58,555 --> 00:17:01,811 I would have reached right into my stomach and pulled it our for them. 317 00:17:01,927 --> 00:17:03,483 But now, no. 318 00:17:03,535 --> 00:17:06,562 I don't have a relationship with these people that I thought I did. 319 00:17:06,887 --> 00:17:08,860 I hope they ask. 320 00:17:08,948 --> 00:17:12,313 So they can hear me say " : no." 321 00:17:12,788 --> 00:17:15,280 I only give my organs to my real friends. 322 00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:17,431 Get yourself a monkey kidney. 323 00:17:18,307 --> 00:17:22,061 Hey, Brenda, this is, Jim Halpert from the boat. 324 00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:25,513 And I got your number from the corporate directory. 325 00:17:25,885 --> 00:17:29,012 And, well, I'm assuming that you probably gave it to them, 326 00:17:29,057 --> 00:17:32,643 because you wanted me to ask you out, right ? 327 00:17:33,207 --> 00:17:35,331 So give me a call back. 328 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,560 You can get my number from said directory, 329 00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:42,690 Or just check your email cause I just sent you one. 330 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,921 Yikes. Give me a call back, I hope. 331 00:17:48,118 --> 00:17:51,563 I'll talk to you later. Bye. 332 00:17:53,098 --> 00:17:55,681 You just asked a girl out on the phone ! 333 00:17:57,988 --> 00:17:58,783 Yup. 334 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,472 Yes. 335 00:18:02,676 --> 00:18:06,593 Hello. Yes. I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott. 336 00:18:06,798 --> 00:18:08,952 Who is this ? How did you get this number ? 337 00:18:09,116 --> 00:18:11,102 Your mom, you gay nerd. 338 00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:15,930 Oh my God. Packer. Packster ! Wacky Pack. How you doing ? 339 00:18:16,126 --> 00:18:19,401 Hey, listen, did you get that package I left for you ? 340 00:18:20,465 --> 00:18:23,742 No. Did anybody see a package here today ? 341 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:26,901 - No, how big was it ? - It was pretty big. 342 00:18:27,128 --> 00:18:28,393 - Really ? - Yeah. 343 00:18:28,456 --> 00:18:31,172 Did you see a big package ? Where did you leave it ? 344 00:18:31,186 --> 00:18:33,972 - Left it in the middle of your office. - Realy ? 345 00:18:34,145 --> 00:18:36,732 Guys, did you see a big package in my office ? 346 00:18:38,198 --> 00:18:40,622 You mean the thing ? 347 00:18:43,627 --> 00:18:45,363 Are you kidding me ? 348 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,750 - Special delivery. - That was Packer ! 349 00:18:49,925 --> 00:18:53,630 You are dead, you are dead, my friend. 350 00:18:53,738 --> 00:18:58,082 That is hila- Oh God ! Of course it was you. 351 00:18:58,418 --> 00:19:02,913 - Sit on the throne, Michael. - Yeah, yeah ! 352 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,080 Oh my God. It was Packer. 353 00:19:06,206 --> 00:19:09,553 It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand 354 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,342 It was done out of love, just like I thought. 355 00:19:12,666 --> 00:19:16,242 It's, God, these people are so, these are good people 356 00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:20,771 We have fun. We just have fun. 357 00:19:21,438 --> 00:19:24,490 I'm just so sorry that I threw the thing out. 358 00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:39,092 - You have 7 unheard messages. - Hey, Jim, It's Pam. 359 00:19:39,587 --> 00:19:41,183 I keep looking up to say something to you, 360 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,192 and then Michael's there. And it's horrible. 361 00:19:43,656 --> 00:19:46,450 Anyway, I'm bored. Come back. 362 00:19:46,616 --> 00:19:50,181 Hey, guess what. I moved my computer so I can't see Michael's head. 363 00:19:50,377 --> 00:19:51,981 It's working. I think I can have a career, 364 00:19:52,106 --> 00:19:54,502 as a very specific type of decorator. 365 00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:58,832 Sudoku. Level, moderate. Time, 18 minutes. Suck on that Halpert. 366 00:20:00,357 --> 00:20:02,203 I'll transfer you. 367 00:20:02,298 --> 00:20:04,860 Dunder Mifflin this is Pam. Hold, please. 368 00:20:05,945 --> 00:20:07,641 Dunder Mifflin, this is. Okay, sorry. 369 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,640 Michael was standing at my desk and I needed to be busy. 370 00:20:09,857 --> 00:20:12,213 Or who knows what would've happened. So thank you. 371 00:20:12,507 --> 00:20:15,673 What's that word we made up for when you have a thing stuck in your shoe ? 372 00:20:16,037 --> 00:20:19,183 Anyway, I have a thing stuck in my shoe. 373 00:20:19,295 --> 00:20:20,991 I have a chance to sneak out of here early, 374 00:20:21,158 --> 00:20:23,900 And I'm not messing this up so I'll see you tomorrow. 375 00:20:24,007 --> 00:20:25,672 Calling from my cell phone. 376 00:20:25,716 --> 00:20:28,392 I don't know if you guys figured out who did that to Michael's carpet yet. 377 00:20:28,448 --> 00:20:31,662 But I have a theory that it involves an interdepartmental conspiracy. 378 00:20:32,238 --> 00:20:34,862 Everybody in the office. We need to talk.