1 00:00:36,089 --> 00:00:37,822 But I don't like camel-hair Del! 2 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:46,161 This is not camel-hair, it's genuine polyester! There you are. That's it. Go and have a look in the mirror. 3 00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:52,345 It's 'ansome innit, eh? 4 00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:55,833 What d'you mean 'ansome? Look, it's miles too big for me! 5 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,539 Of course it's not, that's the fashion innit? 6 00:00:59,515 --> 00:01:01,932 Well how come yours looks like it's made to measure then? 7 00:01:02,266 --> 00:01:06,356 Oh, this one. Yeah, it's a bit small for me. I saved you the best one Rodney! 8 00:01:07,836 --> 00:01:08,909 Del, it's horrible! 9 00:01:09,901 --> 00:01:18,633 Well you could at least wear it for a while, see if you get used to it. I mean, it is a gift Rodney, it is a gift. 10 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,935 Hey you're right, Del. Once you've had it on yer for a while it really grows on you don't it! 11 00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:36,130 D'you like it then? 12 00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:41,808 Like it? I love it. I think it's really, really smart you know. Cheers! 13 00:01:42,579 --> 00:01:44,978 I'm glad you like it. That's a score you owe me. 14 00:01:46,445 --> 00:01:48,694 A score? You said it was a gift! 15 00:01:49,137 --> 00:01:52,384 Well it is a gift at 20 nicker. Cost you a 180 up Bond Street! 16 00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:54,040 Yeah but... 17 00:01:54,274 --> 00:02:03,290 Alright, don't worry about the money Rodders, I'll take it out yer wages! Well you said you liked it! 18 00:02:03,784 --> 00:02:09,789 Yeah I know, but...yeah... yeah, cheers Del 19 00:02:10,107 --> 00:02:15,337 That's alright Rodney. That's what brothers are for...Now listen, I want you to pop down and see that Mrs Singh. 20 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:19,259 'Cos according to the book she had a dinner service and two Persian rugs off us last month 21 00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:21,413 and she ain't paid a penny off 'em since! 22 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:22,258 Right. 23 00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:25,646 Right. Oh, and while you're at it. See if you can get her interested in any of this gear. 24 00:02:26,224 --> 00:02:28,134 Del, Mrs Singh's a Hindu! 25 00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:32,638 Hindus do not go about in peek -a-boo bras and nifty knickers! 26 00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:36,590 What are you, some kind of Swami or something? 27 00:02:37,468 --> 00:02:42,117 You don't know what goes on under them saris! Go on, I'll see you later. 28 00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:53,922 Excuse me, sorry, can you tell me if Mrs Singh's in at all? 29 00:02:54,376 --> 00:02:58,326 Mrs Singh don't live here any more! She moved away, about three weeks ago. I've taken her flat. 30 00:03:00,356 --> 00:03:02,794 Great! Did she say where she was moving to! 31 00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:04,319 Bangladesh! 32 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,165 Oh good, for a moment I thought we'd lost her! 33 00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:09,662 Can I do anything for you? 34 00:03:11,244 --> 00:03:13,016 No, no, not really. 35 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,517 It's just that Mrs Singh bought a few items off us and she's supposed to be paying for them on the weekly. 36 00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:19,329 I see. What are you, a tally-man? 37 00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:22,285 No, no, no, I'm not a tallyman. 38 00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:26,094 It's just that every so often I manage to get me hand on a few...'bargains' you know. 39 00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:28,107 Really, what are you selling today? 40 00:03:28,465 --> 00:03:35,130 Women's clothing. You know skirts, blouses, under...er, lingerie, that sort of thing. 41 00:03:35,439 --> 00:03:37,102 Bring them inside. I might be interested. 42 00:03:39,114 --> 00:03:40,128 Yeah alright. 43 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,579 Are you coming in or not? 44 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:44,840 Yeah okay... 45 00:04:12,766 --> 00:04:15,001 Bloody hell, he's a big bloke! 46 00:04:16,092 --> 00:04:16,903 Sorry, I can't hear you! 47 00:04:17,139 --> 00:04:18,201 Er, no, nothing! 48 00:04:20,442 --> 00:04:22,997 Well what do you think? 49 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:26,556 Triffic! 50 00:04:27,202 --> 00:04:29,354 You don't think this split's too revealing do you? 51 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,242 No! No, that's just right! 52 00:04:32,281 --> 00:04:35,199 Hey, I can't quite reach the zip. Could you give us a hand. 53 00:04:39,887 --> 00:04:41,080 Er, what time does your husband get home? 54 00:04:41,763 --> 00:04:43,862 He doesn't. My husband's away! 55 00:04:44,365 --> 00:04:45,300 Oh! 56 00:04:48,804 --> 00:04:50,560 Ooh, ain't you 'alf got a strong grip! 57 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:57,929 It's all that free school milk they keep giving us! So you're on your own then? 58 00:04:58,278 --> 00:04:59,194 No! 59 00:04:59,611 --> 00:05:00,474 Oh! 60 00:05:00,662 --> 00:05:01,891 There's my son Marcus. 61 00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:03,913 Oh right, what is he asleep in the bedroom? 62 00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:08,521 No he's down the snooker hall! He's 16... 63 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:20,101 I hope you don't mind me asking, but have you been ill recently - or lost a lot of weight? 64 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,839 Oh this? No, no you know, it's the fashion. 65 00:05:25,882 --> 00:05:32,712 Is it really? Well I'm so out of touch. I seem to spend every hour of the day in this flat. 66 00:05:33,305 --> 00:05:35,237 What you don't know many people round this area then? 67 00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:38,772 No. I only moved here a month ago. I come from East London you see. 68 00:05:39,893 --> 00:05:42,603 It must get pretty gutty being in on your own of an evening? 69 00:05:42,862 --> 00:05:46,770 Hmm, specially for someone who's used to going out and enjoying herself all the time. 70 00:05:48,317 --> 00:05:49,680 Are there any nice places around here? 71 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:57,134 Na! Oh there's a dinner 'n' dance place over Streatham way, that's supposed to be really good. 72 00:05:57,976 --> 00:06:00,255 I was thinking of giving it a try Saturday night. 73 00:06:00,584 --> 00:06:02,534 Oh I hope you and your girlfriend enjoy yourselves. 74 00:06:02,807 --> 00:06:04,164 Oh, I haven't got a girlfriend! 75 00:06:05,059 --> 00:06:07,417 Well, what I mean to say is I haven't got a regular one! 76 00:06:08,069 --> 00:06:09,605 Oh hundreds of casuals I bet! 77 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:15,723 Yeah, all over the place! The thing is, they're all busy Saturday night! 78 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:21,088 So um, you know I - I was wondering whether you'd um, you know, 79 00:06:21,377 --> 00:06:25,859 if you're not too busy, perhaps you'd like – I expect you are - but if you're not – 80 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,836 would you like to come with me? 81 00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:31,044 Thank you very much, it's just that... 82 00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:33,926 Oh, no, no, it's okay, you've made other arrangements, I understand! 83 00:06:34,188 --> 00:06:35,766 No, I haven't made other arrangements! 84 00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:36,875 You're washing your hair! 85 00:06:37,019 --> 00:06:37,386 No! 86 00:06:37,528 --> 00:06:38,575 You're mending your bike? 87 00:06:38,739 --> 00:06:40,180 No I did that last Tuesday. 88 00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:42,843 So what is it? 89 00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:45,490 Well, how old are you? 90 00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:48,845 Well I'm not a kid if that's what you mean! I'm 23 and a half! 91 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,537 That's what I mean! You're 23 and a half, and I'm older than you! 92 00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:55,417 So? 93 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:56,735 Well doesn't it bother you? 94 00:06:57,006 --> 00:06:58,562 No! Does it bother you? 95 00:06:58,848 --> 00:06:59,925 Well...no! 96 00:07:00,144 --> 00:07:01,527 So where's the problem? 97 00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:06,762 There isn't one! Thank you very much for the invitation, I'd love to go out with you! See you Saturday night. 98 00:07:07,221 --> 00:07:10,467 Right at 8.30, I'll pick you up in the va...in a mini cab! 99 00:07:13,112 --> 00:07:16,136 There's just one thing! You'd better tell me your name, it's gonna get a bit embarrassing 100 00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:17,909 if I keep having to call you thingy all night. 101 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,453 Sorry. Yeah, Rodney. 102 00:07:20,783 --> 00:07:21,618 Irene. 103 00:07:21,843 --> 00:07:29,177 No - Rodney. Oh sorry, sorry, pleased to meet you Irene. 104 00:07:29,523 --> 00:07:30,900 Oh yeah. 105 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,569 Well I'd better get me suit down the cleaners then. 106 00:07:35,606 --> 00:07:40,543 Rodney. You sure you don't mind? People might stare. 107 00:07:41,506 --> 00:07:44,236 Let them stare! That sort of thing don't bother me Irene. 108 00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:46,764 I went out with a Chinese girl once! 109 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,189 Of course I missed you today. 110 00:07:56,741 --> 00:08:01,906 Yeah, I missed you yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, yeah. 111 00:08:02,812 --> 00:08:12,104 Come on you know I'm thinking about you all the time! Are you? Really? Aah! 112 00:08:15,908 --> 00:08:17,480 Yeah? I mean, yeah? 113 00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:19,831 Can I dip my bread in your egg? 114 00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:23,264 Help yourself. 115 00:08:23,429 --> 00:08:24,469 Thanks very much. 116 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,234 ...No, no that's my brother. 117 00:08:30,953 --> 00:08:42,435 Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, I'll see you soon, of course I do! I can't. There's people here! 118 00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:47,855 Yeah alright. Okay. Se you. Bye. 119 00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:50,837 Who was that Rodney? 120 00:08:51,382 --> 00:08:53,284 Eh? Oh, er, Mickey Pearce. 121 00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:02,379 Mickey Pearce? 122 00:09:04,957 --> 00:09:06,841 Del, I want your advice. I've got a bit of a problem. 123 00:09:07,189 --> 00:09:11,104 I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know. I'd rather die in ignorance! 124 00:09:13,108 --> 00:09:16,265 There's never been anything like that in our family. 125 00:09:17,843 --> 00:09:20,501 Hey hang about Mickey Pearce is on holiday in France ain't he? 126 00:09:21,389 --> 00:09:24,849 Oh yeah! Well it wasn't him actually, it was a girl. 127 00:09:28,053 --> 00:09:32,635 Don't you ever do that to me again Rodney. I'll be up all night with heartburn... 128 00:09:34,096 --> 00:09:36,687 So you've got a bird have you? Ah, well, that explains it! 129 00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:37,865 Explains what? 130 00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:41,832 It explains why you've been lolloping about so much for the last week or so! 131 00:09:42,492 --> 00:09:44,563 You wanna pull your socks up my son, it's beginning to affect business! 132 00:09:44,879 --> 00:09:46,001 How can it affect business? 133 00:09:46,384 --> 00:09:47,436 I'll tell you shall I? 134 00:09:47,751 --> 00:09:53,229 Look a tart in here called - Irene Macky right – she's had 17 quid's worth of clothes off you. 135 00:09:53,436 --> 00:09:56,367 And you're letting her pay you back at 25 pence a week right. 136 00:09:57,150 --> 00:09:59,626 That means you've got to go round there every week for a year! 137 00:10:02,089 --> 00:10:03,197 Yeah, I know. 138 00:10:08,286 --> 00:10:11,063 Oh I geddit, Rodney's got a mystery! 139 00:10:12,217 --> 00:10:18,061 Irene's not a mystery! We've just been seeing a lot of each other and well, we've become quite close! 140 00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:20,969 Promise me you won't laugh? 141 00:10:22,214 --> 00:10:23,418 No of course I won't! 142 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:25,080 I think I'm in love. 143 00:10:29,364 --> 00:10:31,092 Oh, do us a favour Rodney. 144 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:35,474 Only a month ago you was in love with that skinny bird from the dry-cleaners. 145 00:10:36,223 --> 00:10:39,062 Now along comes another little girl and you're away again! 146 00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:44,659 Marguerite from the dry cleaners was just an infatuation! This is the real thing! 147 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,689 And Irene is not a little girl - she happens to be a woman! 148 00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:55,920 Oh a woman, eh? He's fell in love with someone who's got the vote this time! How old is she, 20? 149 00:10:56,597 --> 00:10:58,703 No. She's about - 30. 150 00:11:00,308 --> 00:11:02,703 What d'you mean about 30? How old is he exactly? 151 00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:03,927 40. 152 00:11:04,976 --> 00:11:07,518 40? 40? 153 00:11:10,873 --> 00:11:12,472 You're not being serious are you? 154 00:11:12,882 --> 00:11:14,495 Well what's wrong with going out with a woman of 40? 155 00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:21,880 Nothing, nothing at all, if you happen to be 50! Blimey she's even too old for me! 156 00:11:22,985 --> 00:11:24,928 Well I'd have to think twice! 157 00:11:27,598 --> 00:11:28,794 Shut up Grandad. 158 00:11:29,509 --> 00:11:31,092 No, he's right Rodney, he's right. 159 00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:34,104 I mean, when she was drinking frothy coffee with some Ted up the Lyceum, 160 00:11:34,418 --> 00:11:36,085 you were struggling to keep your gripe water down! 161 00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:39,965 Oh no, bruv, this is one problem you're gonna have to solve on your own! 162 00:11:41,069 --> 00:11:42,101 That's not the problem! 163 00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,066 What, something else is it? 164 00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:45,785 Yeah. Her husband! 165 00:11:47,377 --> 00:11:48,789 She's not married n' all is she? 166 00:11:49,454 --> 00:11:51,738 Oh no he don't live with her. He's away. 167 00:11:52,132 --> 00:11:53,106 Where? 168 00:11:53,285 --> 00:11:54,398 Parkhurst. 169 00:11:56,315 --> 00:12:03,336 I don't believe you! I don't believe you! You're not going case-o with the wife of a convict are you? 170 00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:07,726 You don't 'alf jump to conclusions don't you, I mean just 'cos he’s in Parkhurst 171 00:12:07,979 --> 00:12:12,864 don't automatically mean he's a convict! I mean he could be a warder, or even a governor! 172 00:12:14,175 --> 00:12:17,098 - And is he? - Is he what? 173 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,765 Well a warder or the governor? 174 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,727 ...Well, no, he's a convict - but you weren't sure, were you? 175 00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:25,417 What's he in there for Rodney? 176 00:12:26,004 --> 00:12:27,259 Er, you know, this and that. 177 00:12:27,699 --> 00:12:28,862 Yeah come on, like what? 178 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,464 Well like wounding with intent, GBH and attempted murder. 179 00:12:35,031 --> 00:12:36,964 He's got a little bit of a temper has he? 180 00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:40,672 Well this is why Irene's had such an unhappy life with him. 181 00:12:41,149 --> 00:12:42,460 He used to beat her up Del! 182 00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:45,493 She's moved over this way from the East End to get away from him. 183 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:50,055 Hang on a minute, hang on a minute. What d'you mean get away from him? He's on the Isle of bloody Wight Rodney! 184 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:54,029 Yeah, I know that, but he's being released soon! That's the problem. 185 00:12:54,821 --> 00:13:00,393 Look, when he comes out do you think I should go and see him, and tell him about me and Irene, man to man? 186 00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:08,425 Well, let me put it this way. 187 00:13:09,447 --> 00:13:15,653 You know one day if you're really fed up with having knees in the middle of your legs, you know, 188 00:13:15,859 --> 00:13:21,454 you go and see him. On the other hand, if you've grown quite attached to them, emigrate to Vietnam - 189 00:13:22,025 --> 00:13:28,683 you stupid little plonker Rodney. What do you think this is, Jackanory? This bloke's a killer! 190 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:31,711 Well he only got done for attempted murder! 191 00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:38,365 Oh did he? Well, maybe that was just a bit of practice, eh? His first big success is going to come with Rodney. 192 00:13:39,548 --> 00:13:42,777 You're just like the rest of modern society, aren't you - frightened! 193 00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:50,436 What me, frightened of them nutters there in the shadows? Yes, oh yeah, they frighten me Rodney! 194 00:13:50,974 --> 00:13:55,348 Yeah, well, I've got a life to live right and I'm not going to have some mindless little thug like her old man, 195 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,992 Tommy Mackay, telling me what I can do and what I can't do! 196 00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:01,108 It's one battle I'm gonna have to win ain't it! 197 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,794 Alright, alright. Go on, you go and do that then Popeye. 198 00:14:04,932 --> 00:14:07,327 What are you gonna do? Carry a couple of tins of spinach round with you? 199 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,919 Listen, you wanted my advice right - well here it is. 200 00:14:12,395 --> 00:14:17,173 Steer clear of Irene Mackay otherwise sleep with one eye open alright? 201 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:21,974 Yeah, well, I'll think about it Del. I'll see you both later, I'm going round Irene's! 202 00:14:22,245 --> 00:14:25,026 Yeah, go on then - go on. You go round there. Off you go - on your bike. 203 00:14:25,929 --> 00:14:29,009 I wouldn't bother to put that on 'cos when we come to pay our last respects to you, 204 00:14:29,176 --> 00:14:35,756 you'll be wearing a concrete overcoat. You'll be helping to support a flyover on the M26! 205 00:14:38,923 --> 00:14:40,924 What are you gonna do Del Boy? 206 00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:47,662 Nothing! I mean you know what he's like with the birds don't you, 207 00:14:47,918 --> 00:14:50,485 falls in and out of love more times than Starsky and Hutch. 208 00:14:51,913 --> 00:14:53,847 Anyway, they always give him the elbow after a fortnight. 209 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,868 But in case she don't? 210 00:14:56,877 --> 00:14:59,067 I'm gonna put his name down for BUPA! 211 00:15:22,736 --> 00:15:23,926 Good morning my little pot pouri. 212 00:15:24,161 --> 00:15:25,023 Good morning. 213 00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:30,649 Giss a Tia Maria and a pineapple juice and, 'alf a lager for lover boy will you. 214 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,547 He's on scotch and that's his fourth! 215 00:15:32,829 --> 00:15:34,923 Is it? Alright give him one more and that's his lot! 216 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,047 Right. 217 00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:43,189 Alright Rodders? I knocked out all of them Georgian digital clocks. 218 00:15:43,737 --> 00:15:44,877 - Yeah? - Yeah. 219 00:15:45,626 --> 00:15:46,462 Triffic! 220 00:15:49,389 --> 00:15:53,986 Leave that there, right. Don't sit on it. What's the matter with you? 221 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:55,825 Nuffing! 222 00:15:56,068 --> 00:15:57,946 Now come on, don't give us that. What's the matter now? 223 00:15:58,952 --> 00:16:00,346 It's Irene! 224 00:16:00,998 --> 00:16:04,223 Oh don't tell me. They've turned down her free bus pass? 225 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:07,941 She's finished with me! 226 00:16:09,262 --> 00:16:12,818 Oh! Oh well, all's well that ends well I suppose. 227 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:16,632 What d'you mean 'all's well that ends well'? It hasn't ended well for me has it! 228 00:16:16,829 --> 00:16:18,828 Oh now, come on Rodney. 229 00:16:19,314 --> 00:16:21,604 Come on you've had a good time, ain't yer - you know, a few drinks, 230 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,833 bit of the old Humpty Dumpty and now it's finished ain't it, eh? 231 00:16:25,925 --> 00:16:30,832 You're a pig ain't yer? That is the pinnacle of your aesthetic appreciation innit - 232 00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:32,985 a few drinks and a bit of Humpty Dumpty! 233 00:16:35,068 --> 00:16:38,003 Yeah...No I was just trying to put it into perspective that's all. 234 00:16:38,323 --> 00:16:40,904 I mean, you didn't honestly think that anything was gonna come of it did you? 235 00:16:41,726 --> 00:16:42,972 I loved her Del! 236 00:16:46,116 --> 00:16:53,788 Now come on Rodney, believe me bruv, it's all for the best in the end. 237 00:16:55,668 --> 00:16:57,378 I mean I know exactly what would have happened. 238 00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:03,082 You know, one day you'd have gone down that roller disco and met some blinding 18-year-old sort 239 00:17:03,262 --> 00:17:08,981 who'd have knocked your eyes out. And she would have fell head over heels for you, wouldn’t she? 240 00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:10,470 Well... 241 00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:14,636 Yeah and then you'd have had to go and break the news to Irene! 242 00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:21,502 How do you think a 40- year-old woman would feel, knowing that she's lost in love to a younger woman? 243 00:17:23,925 --> 00:17:28,399 She wouldn't be just losing any man. She'd be losing you! 244 00:17:32,628 --> 00:17:34,073 I've never thought of it like that. 245 00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:37,777 That scar would never heal! 246 00:17:39,283 --> 00:17:41,826 No! Oh poor chick! 247 00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:48,150 Exactly! It's che sara, sara as the French say. 248 00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:53,751 Anyway, her old man was released yesterday, so it's saved you from all that didn’t it. 249 00:17:54,564 --> 00:17:58,705 Yeah! You're right. Look I'm sorry if I've bin a bit of a pain lately. 250 00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:00,082 No, of course you ain't, no! 251 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,811 Oh do leave off! Look at me - I've been acting like a right wally! 252 00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:05,141 Oi, now I don't want you talking like that Rodney! 253 00:18:06,173 --> 00:18:12,543 Emotions that you've been experiencing are the things that separate you from well from those morons. 254 00:18:16,447 --> 00:18:21,644 No it's alright. It just shows that you're a human being, in the fullest sense of the word. 255 00:18:22,663 --> 00:18:29,487 You proves you've got a heart Rodney, and them feelings deserve respect and dignity. 256 00:18:30,978 --> 00:18:35,094 Don't feel ashamed of them - you feel proud of them. 257 00:18:37,236 --> 00:18:38,555 - Yeah! - That's it. 258 00:18:39,273 --> 00:18:40,289 Cheers Del. 259 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,437 It's alright. I'll get our drinks, eh? 260 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,371 What's up with him? 261 00:18:47,582 --> 00:18:53,593 Oh some old tart's given him the sack – you know what he's like don't yer? 262 00:18:54,949 --> 00:18:58,133 Here you are. If you're looking for answers you won't find any in the bottom of a glass! 263 00:18:58,532 --> 00:18:59,982 No, I just fancied a drink that's all! 264 00:19:00,179 --> 00:19:02,739 That's alright, that's alright - just you know, you just lay off the bottle. Alright? 265 00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:05,514 - Right cheers then anyway. - Cheers. 266 00:19:05,772 --> 00:19:06,676 Good luck. 267 00:19:09,394 --> 00:19:11,201 - Hello Rodney. - Oh hello Marcus. 268 00:19:11,772 --> 00:19:13,407 This is Irene's son. This is my brother. 269 00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:14,745 Alright Del! 270 00:19:14,899 --> 00:19:26,480 Yeah - hello son. Smart looking kid ain't he, eh? I reckon he can pick up BBC2 on that hair. 271 00:19:29,712 --> 00:19:37,713 BBC2 on his hair... What's the matter with you now? 272 00:19:38,248 --> 00:19:42,983 Ah, no, nothing, but how did you know Irene's husband was released yesterday? 273 00:19:44,706 --> 00:19:46,665 Ah well you - you must have said! 274 00:19:47,175 --> 00:19:49,181 Did I? But I didn't know! 275 00:19:50,358 --> 00:19:52,020 You must have said I mean - how else would I have known? 276 00:19:53,343 --> 00:19:54,601 Yeah, I s'pose I must have! 277 00:19:55,656 --> 00:20:01,014 'ere well, come on, come on, let's get going. Drink up, eh, see if we can do a bit this afternoon. 278 00:20:02,066 --> 00:20:05,511 Yeah, alright, how did Marcus know your name? 279 00:20:08,699 --> 00:20:09,958 You introduced us didn't you, eh? 280 00:20:10,530 --> 00:20:12,658 No I just said you was my brother, I didn't say your name! 281 00:20:13,704 --> 00:20:15,547 Well, he must have heard it before somewhere mustn't he? 282 00:20:15,905 --> 00:20:16,981 He's never met you before! 283 00:20:19,193 --> 00:20:22,665 Well it must have been me 'D' look. I'm wearing a big 'D' ain't I, it's obvious me name's Del innit? 284 00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:30,820 No, that could stand for David, Daniel, Douglas. He's wearing one of your coats. 285 00:20:31,322 --> 00:20:34,484 I know that - I know that, we're all wearing them ain't we, eh? Look it's the fashion, ain't it eh? 286 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,521 Come on - come on let's go! 287 00:20:37,791 --> 00:20:40,180 Oi Marcus! How did you know his name? 288 00:20:40,858 --> 00:20:43,364 I met him on Thursday when he took Mum out for a drink! 289 00:20:49,646 --> 00:20:51,002 You took Irene out? 290 00:20:54,221 --> 00:21:00,092 Now look Rodney, it's not what you think. I just wanted to talk to her about you. 291 00:21:00,612 --> 00:21:01,955 Me? What did you tell her about me? 292 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:08,015 I didn't tell her anything about you. I was - I just - I just told her a few home truths, that's all. 293 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:15,785 I just - I just said, you know, if she thought anything of you, she ought to leave you alone! 294 00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:23,285 Thanks Del! Where would I be without you, eh? Happy maybe! 295 00:21:23,487 --> 00:21:26,746 Now come here Rodney. Now Rodney, just a minute. Look, I did it for you. 296 00:21:27,508 --> 00:21:29,008 I mean, what do you wanna do - end up dead? 297 00:21:29,169 --> 00:21:34,377 No! But it's nice to have a choice innit. One of these days Del - just one of these days! 298 00:21:34,558 --> 00:21:36,380 Rodney, come - Rodney, I did it for you. 299 00:21:54,952 --> 00:21:56,659 That's the thanks I get! 300 00:22:01,614 --> 00:22:05,882 Oh yes, it was made for Ahmed my son. 301 00:22:06,112 --> 00:22:07,208 It's too big man! 302 00:22:07,517 --> 00:22:14,155 No, no, no, it isn't. No, that is the fashion. Let's have a look at the back. Oh that's beautiful that is. 303 00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:16,857 Yours isn't too big! 304 00:22:17,046 --> 00:22:18,467 Ah but - this is small on me! 305 00:22:19,010 --> 00:22:25,117 Anyway, I reserved the best one for you Ahmed my son. Now come on at 25 nicker you can't go wrong, can you, eh? 306 00:22:25,617 --> 00:22:26,915 Alright man, I'll take it. 307 00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:31,058 That's it. You know it makes sense! Now, d'you want to pay now or do you want it on the old... 308 00:22:31,878 --> 00:22:33,048 I'll pay you two pounds a week Del. 309 00:22:33,339 --> 00:22:34,937 - Alright. I'll see you next week. - Alright. 310 00:22:35,458 --> 00:22:36,738 You won't catch cold in that. 311 00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:48,159 Oi, what's your game! 312 00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:54,431 Take it easy man, you might hurt yourself! There's someone here who's been dying to meet you. 313 00:22:54,813 --> 00:22:56,419 Oh yeah - who's that then? 314 00:22:57,014 --> 00:23:02,861 Me! Mackays the name. Tommy Mackay. Ring a bell does it? 315 00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:06,749 Yeah, I think I've heard of it before. 316 00:23:08,018 --> 00:23:10,640 You bet you're life you've heard it before sunshine! 317 00:23:12,114 --> 00:23:16,642 You've been seen out with my wife Trotter! Guilty or not guilty? 318 00:23:17,122 --> 00:23:19,151 Oh no, it was jut only a friendly dink! 319 00:23:19,435 --> 00:23:24,134 But I'm not a friendly geezer. And that kind of thing makes me very 'angry'! 320 00:23:25,767 --> 00:23:29,645 I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll remember for the ret of your life, Rodney my old son! 321 00:23:30,107 --> 00:23:36,810 Now listen, listen now, let's not be hasty, er? Rodney? Did you say Rodney? 322 00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:39,834 Yeah that's right, Rodney Trotter, that's you innit? 323 00:23:48,027 --> 00:23:50,742 Yeah, yeah, I'm Rodney Trotter yeah. 324 00:23:51,235 --> 00:23:54,355 Good! Okay Leroy give him some air. 325 00:24:11,548 --> 00:24:15,331 Now look what you've made me do! That was a brand-new coat that was. 326 00:25:19,866 --> 00:25:23,615 Rodders. Guess what I've done for you Rodders? 327 00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:28,486 Well if it's another example of your so-called brotherly love, you just forget it, right. 328 00:25:29,090 --> 00:25:31,077 As far as I'm concerned Del you're no longer my... 329 00:25:32,433 --> 00:25:34,229 What the bloody hell's happened to you? 330 00:25:35,501 --> 00:25:40,077 It's alright. It's alright. No, it's just - you know, I just walked into a door. 331 00:25:42,313 --> 00:25:43,367 It did all that? 332 00:25:43,558 --> 00:25:52,232 Yeah, it was a revolving door! Listen, listen to this. I had a bit of luck tonight. 333 00:25:53,233 --> 00:25:57,086 I bumped into Tommy Mackay. That was lucky weren't it, eh? 334 00:25:58,124 --> 00:25:59,079 Did he do that Del? 335 00:25:59,262 --> 00:26:02,440 No, no - he didn't do it, no - no - no, it's just that I had - you know – 336 00:26:02,586 --> 00:26:06,135 I had one too many like, and I fell down the stairs at Monkey Harris's house. 337 00:26:06,755 --> 00:26:07,989 He lives in a bungalow. 338 00:26:08,361 --> 00:26:11,938 Yeah, well, he's moved now ain't he, eh - he's moved. Just shut up and listen will you. 339 00:26:13,110 --> 00:26:17,040 Well I had a chat with Tommy Mackay, tonight you see and, um, 340 00:26:17,396 --> 00:26:22,907 I managed to do what all the psychiatrists and social workers have failed to do! I've rehabilitated him. 341 00:26:24,399 --> 00:26:27,931 He's seen the error of his ways. You know, he'll give you no more problems. 342 00:26:28,544 --> 00:26:31,066 I've left the path clear for you and Irene! 343 00:26:31,838 --> 00:26:34,199 Me and Irene? Oh that's all over Del! 344 00:26:40,695 --> 00:26:41,156 What? 345 00:26:41,936 --> 00:26:46,145 Well we both had a long chat about it, and then we decided it was never gonna work. 346 00:26:47,930 --> 00:26:55,638 It will - it will work. I've got a box of Black Magic in the back of the van, I've only had one of it. 347 00:26:56,146 --> 00:26:58,303 Go on, whip - go on whip it round to her now. Go on. 348 00:26:58,696 --> 00:27:03,050 No, it’s no good Del! I mean, it was just circumstances that threw us together weren't it? 349 00:27:03,723 --> 00:27:05,858 She was lonely in a strange part of town, 350 00:27:06,066 --> 00:27:11,326 and well I was just looking for a mother- figure I suppose, anyway you was right Del. 351 00:27:12,598 --> 00:27:14,372 No, no, no, no, I wasn't - I wasn't. 352 00:27:15,288 --> 00:27:16,621 I don't mean about me and Irene! 353 00:27:17,248 --> 00:27:18,306 Well what d'you mean then? 354 00:27:18,759 --> 00:27:22,403 Well, this afternoon I went down the roller-disco and I met this bird, Zoe. 355 00:27:26,341 --> 00:27:31,337 18 she is, with a body that makes Bo Derek look a cert for plastic surgery! 356 00:27:33,262 --> 00:27:38,304 Irene was just infatuation, but this is love! Oi, here she is now. 357 00:27:41,769 --> 00:27:45,431 Alright babe? This is Zoe. This is my brother, he fell down some stairs. 358 00:27:46,693 --> 00:27:47,785 Nice to meet you. 359 00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:51,819 Are we going then? 360 00:27:52,026 --> 00:27:55,844 Yeah, yeah, right I'll see yer later on Del. Alright? You can finish that if you want it. 361 00:27:56,337 --> 00:27:59,749 Yeah! See yer Rodders...See yer Zoe. 362 00:28:00,106 --> 00:28:02,919 Oi Del! I'd have that head looked at if I was you! 363 00:28:04,621 --> 00:28:07,601 It's the truest bloody words you've spoke for ages Rodney! 364 00:28:15,448 --> 00:28:16,867 What happened to you? 365 00:28:17,189 --> 00:28:22,479 Me? No, no, nothing happened to me. Rodney got a bloody good hiding though. 366 00:28:26,724 --> 00:28:29,871 Subtitles by NVL