1
00:00:43,606 --> 00:00:47,999
Yeah, well, you try and have a nice kip, eh?
His legs are still playing him up.

2
00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:50,688
Well, I told him not to run
in the London Marathon?

3
00:00:51,756 --> 00:00:53,900
Anyway, he's not coming to the
tenants' meeting with us.

4
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:55,700
You're still coming ain't yer?

5
00:00:55,911 --> 00:00:59,451
Eh? No way bruv, I'm going out with that
little waitress that I blagged from the Pizza Palace.

6
00:00:59,743 --> 00:01:01,340
Eh? How did you manage to pull her?

7
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,435
Well, I read somewhere that woman were turned
on by men in situations of power.

8
00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:07,608
So I told her I was a Euro Minister.

9
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:09,866
And she believed you?

10
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:10,956
Oh yeah.

11
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,457
She must be thicker than them
pizzas she dishes out.

12
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,741
Oi, don't get sardonic.

13
00:01:15,984 --> 00:01:17,409
Here what's all this about anyway?

14
00:01:17,633 --> 00:01:19,853
I'm writing out a list of
questions I want to ask at the meeting.

15
00:01:20,209 --> 00:01:23,198
Oh yeah, like why the lifts
are still out of action in our block?

16
00:01:23,421 --> 00:01:26,033
- No, more important things than that, Del.
- Oh yeah.

17
00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:30,224
I mean, in the last year or so we've had
a crime explosion on this estate, yeah,

18
00:01:30,579 --> 00:01:33,002
and yet the police don't come near or by.

19
00:01:33,271 --> 00:01:34,380
And I want to know the reason.

20
00:01:34,575 --> 00:01:36,898
Well, they can't get on the estate, can they?
The natives won't let 'em.

21
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,423
Come on, that is rubbish.

22
00:01:39,663 --> 00:01:40,958
No, no, it ain't.

23
00:01:41,145 --> 00:01:46,301
Look, last month a copper came round just to return
a lost dog and we had three nights of rioting.

24
00:01:46,919 --> 00:01:52,034
Look, I don't care what their excuses are,
I'm gonna demand more police patrols on this estate.

25
00:01:52,357 --> 00:01:53,875
Not too many Rodney.

26
00:01:55,364 --> 00:02:00,104
Come here, I'm writing out this catalogue of crime,
see what the Chairman's got to say about that.

27
00:02:00,402 --> 00:02:02,839
Catalogue, let's see. Some catalogue innit - look.

28
00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:07,218
'May the sixth. Grandad's shopping trolley
stolen from the pram sheds.'

29
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:10,528
Yeah, well that's the only one
I can think of.

30
00:02:10,747 --> 00:02:16,980
Gordon Bennett. There are 2,000 stories in the Naked City
and this plonker is looking for a basket on wheels.

31
00:02:18,073 --> 00:02:22,677
Look, I've heard of other crimes, but I don't know
the times and the dates and what 'ave yer.

32
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,234
I've got to provide
details, not rumours.

33
00:02:25,602 --> 00:02:27,975
Well, why don't you tell them
what happened to poor Rita Alldridge then?

34
00:02:28,737 --> 00:02:30,474
Yes, good idea.

35
00:02:32,554 --> 00:02:34,237
What happened to Rita Alldridge then?

36
00:02:35,246 --> 00:02:39,050
Last Friday night she was indecently assaulted
over by the adventure playground.

37
00:02:39,405 --> 00:02:41,608
No, did she report it?

38
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,483
Yeah, I saw her this morning,
she'd just been down the police station.

39
00:02:44,699 --> 00:02:47,886
Right, there you are you see,
that's exactly the sort of thing...

40
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:53,961
Hang on a minute - if this happened on Friday night,
how come it's taken her till Wednesday to report it?

41
00:02:54,715 --> 00:02:59,901
Because she didn't know she'd been indecently assaulted
until this morning when the bloke's cheque bounced.

42
00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:50,521
- How you going Dave?
- Oh. Alright Trigger.

43
00:03:51,082 --> 00:03:52,669
- No Del Boy?
- No, he's out.

44
00:03:54,105 --> 00:03:56,523
How's your grandad, I heard
his legs were playing him up!

45
00:03:56,790 --> 00:04:00,821
Yeah, well, it's most probably
a touch of fibrositis, you know.

46
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:05,507
Yeah, more than like...that's how my nan
started off. Did you ever meet my nan?

47
00:04:05,672 --> 00:04:07,476
Well, only at her funeral!

48
00:04:07,919 --> 00:04:10,194
That's right, you were at her
funeral weren't you Dave?

49
00:04:11,737 --> 00:04:18,707
Trigger - why d'you call me Dave?
My name's not Dave - my name's Rodney.

50
00:04:19,268 --> 00:04:21,412
- I thought it was Dave!
- No, it's Rodney.

51
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:23,915
You sure?

52
00:04:24,117 --> 00:04:28,994
Yeah, I'm positive. I've looked it up on me
birth certificate and passport and everything!

53
00:04:29,195 --> 00:04:30,881
It is definitely Rodney!

54
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:36,722
Oh well, you live 'n' learn -
so what's Dave, a nickname like?

55
00:04:36,932 --> 00:04:40,200
No. You're the only one who calls me Dave.

56
00:04:40,798 --> 00:04:45,001
Everybody else calls me Rodney,
and the reason they call me Rodney

57
00:04:45,483 --> 00:04:48,324
is because Rodney is my name.

58
00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:52,057
Oh well, I shall have to get
used to calling you Rodney!

59
00:04:52,331 --> 00:04:53,020
Thank you.

60
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:56,723
Here Basil. You gonna get this meeting started??
Me and Dave ain't got all night!

61
00:04:56,902 --> 00:04:58,337
- Rodney.
- Oh yeah.

62
00:04:59,019 --> 00:05:03,701
I can't start the meeting until the Vice Chairman's
in attendance. It's in our constitution!

63
00:05:03,998 --> 00:05:05,537
Well how long's he gonna be?

64
00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:09,245
Could be a hell of a long time
son - he died a fortnight ago!

65
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:14,244
Died? Well, what was the point
in calling the meeting?

66
00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:18,917
I was hoping - if we'd had a bigger turn-out –
to elect a new Vice Chairman from the floor.

67
00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:24,874
You need a new Vice Chairman?
Well, if it'll help you out any Baz, I nominate Rodney!

68
00:05:25,129 --> 00:05:26,516
- What?
- Right, seconded!

69
00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:29,175
- Now hang on a minute!
- All those in favour?

70
00:05:30,109 --> 00:05:31,142
Against?

71
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,255
Nomination accepted. Welcome aboard, son!

72
00:05:36,415 --> 00:05:39,612
But I didn't wanna be Vice Chairman!

73
00:05:39,825 --> 00:05:42,704
I thought you was interested in
all that political malarky?

74
00:05:42,924 --> 00:05:46,321
Well, yeah, I am, but I don't
want this job!

75
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:49,595
Oh well, I suppose Del Boy was
right all along.

76
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:52,359
What d'you mean?

77
00:05:52,565 --> 00:05:55,508
Well, he always said you were
too immature to accept responsibility.

78
00:05:57,073 --> 00:06:03,005
Oh did he? Well, we'll have to see about that then,
won't we? Where do I sit Baz?

79
00:06:09,698 --> 00:06:14,866
Eh - oh, next to me, son -
right then, I declare this meeting open.

80
00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:18,268
Now, the first item
on the agenda is my resignation!

81
00:06:20,259 --> 00:06:30,347
You're the new Chairman, congratulations son.
You going down there, Trigger?

82
00:06:30,539 --> 00:06:32,091
Yeah, I'll have a quick one with you Baz.

83
00:06:32,498 --> 00:06:33,823
Oi, what about the meeting?

84
00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:36,498
Well, you'll have to close it won't you?
You ain't got a Vice Chairman!

85
00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:42,987
Oh yeah - well, um, meeting closed!

86
00:06:44,651 --> 00:06:46,443
He done that well didn't he?

87
00:07:24,151 --> 00:07:30,842
Oranges, they're lovely, three for 25p. See?
Suck one of these a day, you'll never catch scurvy.

88
00:07:31,138 --> 00:07:34,953
There you go, three darlin.
God bless you, luv. Look after yourself.

89
00:07:35,738 --> 00:07:39,374
Come on girls - the finest Spanish oranges,
just in from Seville!

90
00:07:39,711 --> 00:07:40,712
They're fresh then?

91
00:07:40,883 --> 00:07:43,695
Fresh? Fresh? They were playing
castanets this morning my love.

92
00:07:44,168 --> 00:07:50,195
- There you go...take that one for luck..
- Thank you very much.

93
00:07:50,377 --> 00:07:52,641
God bless you my luv. Don't
swallow the pips will you?!

94
00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:55,533
Where the ruddy hell have you
been, eh?

95
00:07:55,991 --> 00:07:58,878
You know where I've been.
I told you I had to go down to the Town Hall.

96
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:01,879
You said you'd only be 20 minutes,
 that was 4 hours ago,

97
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:05,515
Sorry, I got a bit involved with Council bussiness,

98
00:08:07,342 --> 00:08:09,523
Well, of course, I got a bit involved
myself here you know,

99
00:08:09,791 --> 00:08:13,188
with silly little things like
trying to organise us some profit!

100
00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:15,258
Oi, you little git!

101
00:08:15,877 --> 00:08:18,991
You wanna get your priorities sorted out, my son.
You want to make your mind up

102
00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:23,555
whether you want to be Chairman of the Tenant's Association
or you wanna work this pitch, right?

103
00:08:23,761 --> 00:08:27,359
No, no, 'cos I had to go down
and introduce myself to Miss Mackenzie.

104
00:08:28,895 --> 00:08:30,514
Who's Miss Mackenzie?

105
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:35,617
She's in charge of the housing and welfare down
the Town Hall, she's a very important lady.

106
00:08:36,088 --> 00:08:37,604
And she was very
impressed with me.

107
00:08:37,948 --> 00:08:40,950
Oh well, she would be, wouldn't she?
I mean, it's the suit innit, eh?

108
00:08:41,336 --> 00:08:42,261
Well, yeah.

109
00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,701
What d'you want, three? God
bless darling.

110
00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:52,026
She's very intelligent actually.
We got really well.

111
00:08:52,276 --> 00:08:54,731
Yeah well, they do say opposites
attract don't they, eh?

112
00:08:55,263 --> 00:08:57,443
Come on you, get these crates sorted out,
will you?

113
00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:59,097
What? Oh come on, Del.

114
00:08:59,828 --> 00:09:04,615
I mean, don't you think it's gonna be a little bit
demanding for the Chairman of the Tenant's Association

115
00:09:04,909 --> 00:09:07,749
to be been 'umping dirty
old crates around a market?

116
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,690
D'you want any wages tomorrow

117
00:09:12,906 --> 00:09:14,377
Where shall I put 'em?

118
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:17,558
Don't tempt me Rodney, don't
temp me!

119
00:09:24,489 --> 00:09:25,947
Alright, Del Boy?

120
00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:27,571
Hello Grandad, what you doing
here, eh?

121
00:09:27,761 --> 00:09:29,689
I've just been gettin something in for dinner.

122
00:09:30,074 --> 00:09:34,191
- What have I got, Grandad?
- Er - d'you like haddock pie, Del?

123
00:09:34,479 --> 00:09:35,546
No I don't!

124
00:09:35,828 --> 00:09:38,006
You've got haddock pie, Rodney!

125
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:43,084
- Triffic...How's yer legs?
- Still hurting.

126
00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:45,740
I've told you, told you what
they are, they're growing pains.

127
00:09:47,134 --> 00:09:49,234
Look, if you wanna hang on
I'll give you a lift back in the van.

128
00:09:49,639 --> 00:09:54,949
No, that's alright Rodney,
I'll try 'n' walk it off. See you later.

129
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,297
Yeah, see you!

130
00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:01,042
Has he got pineapples?

131
00:10:01,885 --> 00:10:07,466
No, it's just rheumatism. Oh.
No, no, sorry, no!

132
00:10:09,479 --> 00:10:11,424
No, we ain't got any pineapples luv, you see.

133
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:14,873
No, it's this weather we've been having, you know,
you can'tget the people to go out and pick 'em!

134
00:10:15,057 --> 00:10:17,767
Never mind, look, I've got some nice
pineapple-tasting oranges here.

135
00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:23,412
No, I got them in special today, I knew you was coming in.
They come from Seville. There's three for 25p...

136
00:10:23,805 --> 00:10:25,583
For you 6 for 90.

137
00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:30,249
And then after that, right,
me and Miss Mackenzie were thinking of forming

138
00:10:30,437 --> 00:10:33,520
a Police and Local Community Action
Committee.

139
00:10:33,773 --> 00:10:35,889
You wanna get them pigging
lifts fixed first!

140
00:10:37,809 --> 00:10:39,492
No, that's alright, that's all
in hand.

141
00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:43,546
Oh look at this! He ain't even
put the shopping aw...

142
00:10:44,363 --> 00:10:48,621
The lazy git, I'm gonna sack
him one of these days I will! Hang about.

143
00:10:51,205 --> 00:10:54,647
Oh my Gawd. Grandad, Grandad!

144
00:10:55,377 --> 00:10:56,527
What's the matter with him?

145
00:10:56,719 --> 00:10:57,887
How the hell do I know?

146
00:10:58,142 --> 00:11:00,118
- Del, the brandy!
- Yeah, yeah.

147
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:04,260
No, he ain't been at this!

148
00:11:06,346 --> 00:11:11,957
I meant pour him some...Shall
I give him the kiss of life?

149
00:11:12,258 --> 00:11:14,729
I ain't that bad, Rodney!!

150
00:11:16,128 --> 00:11:19,079
Thank God for that, you're
live! I mean awake.

151
00:11:20,198 --> 00:11:23,197
I just got up to switch over
to 'Crossroads.'

152
00:11:23,985 --> 00:11:25,269
And what happened?

153
00:11:25,512 --> 00:11:30,062
I don't know Del Boy, I didn’t
see the end of it!

154
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,302
No, he actually meant what
happened to you?

155
00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:44,691
I just came over bad, Rodney - me legs give way.
Them stairs'll be the death of me.

156
00:11:44,902 --> 00:11:47,303
Yeah, come on, come on, get him into bed.
Come on Grandad.

157
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,642
Come on, that's it, get up.

158
00:11:49,901 --> 00:11:52,134
Look, I'll put him to bed, you
phone for the doctor, Rodney.

159
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:53,071
Right.

160
00:11:53,253 --> 00:11:56,964
No need to call the doctor Del
Boy, I' be alright.

161
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,724
Now just shut up, it's nothing
to do with you.

162
00:12:02,544 --> 00:12:04,972
Oh good evening.
Could you put me through to Dr Becker please...

163
00:12:05,671 --> 00:12:07,118
Yes it is an emergency.

164
00:12:08,877 --> 00:12:12,727
Hello, Dr Becker, look, sorry to bother you
but it's my grandad, he's not very well.

165
00:12:13,847 --> 00:12:18,986
Yeah, yeah, my name is Trotter,
we live on...Oh you remember...

166
00:12:21,137 --> 00:12:26,074
Has what cleared up? No, I've
never had anything like that.

167
00:12:28,285 --> 00:12:31,525
No, no, you must be getting me
mixed up with somebody else.

168
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,017
Well, is he coming round?

169
00:12:33,282 --> 00:12:37,223
Could you come round straight
away please? You're going out to dinner?

170
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,138
Tell him he can have inner
here!

171
00:12:39,447 --> 00:12:40,803
Yeah, you could have dinner here...

172
00:12:41,014 --> 00:12:42,351
He can have my haddock pie!

173
00:12:43,311 --> 00:12:45,659
Your haddock pie? Give us that will you.

174
00:12:46,074 --> 00:12:50,558
Hello Doctor, my name is Del Trotter,
now you don't know me but we've got a mutual friend.

175
00:12:50,742 --> 00:12:53,333
Her name is Rita Alldridge!
That's right!

176
00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:57,690
And I happen to talk to your good lay wife
every day in the market! Right!

177
00:12:59,322 --> 00:13:00,732
He's on his way round.

178
00:13:35,929 --> 00:13:39,430
I want you to make sure that
he gets plenty of sleep and lots of fresh air.

179
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,986
Yeah, we could put his bed on the balcony!

180
00:13:44,261 --> 00:13:50,189
Fresh air? Fresh air. Haven't you noticed all the
juggernauts and buses smoking their way past this place?

181
00:13:50,514 --> 00:13:53,730
The only fresh air my grandad gets is
when he's listening to 'The Archers.'

182
00:13:53,924 --> 00:13:56,185
Well, there isn't very much I
can do about the pollution problem.

183
00:13:56,602 --> 00:14:01,021
No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
doctor. What about his legs?

184
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,595
Oh, don't worry, he's got legs
like Nijinsky.

185
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,792
Nijinsky's a racehorse!

186
00:14:07,275 --> 00:14:09,941
No, Del, he means Nijinsky, the
Russian ballet dancer.

187
00:14:10,127 --> 00:14:11,516
No I don't.

188
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:17,898
Oh, um, well, what's - what's
the matter with him, Doctor?

189
00:14:18,088 --> 00:14:24,218
Exhaustion. 12 flights of stairs is difficult enough for
a young man, let alone someone of your grandad's age.

190
00:14:24,393 --> 00:14:26,377
Now what he needs is ground-floor
accommodation.

191
00:14:26,593 --> 00:14:29,918
Have you seen any of those new council
bungalows in Herrington Road?

192
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,682
Oh yeah, them. They're lovely ain't they.

193
00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:35,171
They've got three bedrooms, little garden,
right opposite the park.

194
00:14:36,434 --> 00:14:40,152
Still what chance do we stand?
I mean, you need to have nine kids

195
00:14:40,365 --> 00:14:42,183
and speak with a foreign accent to
get one of them.

196
00:14:42,853 --> 00:14:47,425
If you think it would do any good I could write
a letter to the council recommending you be moved.

197
00:14:48,227 --> 00:14:52,038
You did that for my Mum back
in 1962 and they moved us here.

198
00:14:53,832 --> 00:14:55,027
I'll put the shopping away.

199
00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:59,018
The only thing that could hold a lot of sway
with the council’s housing department

200
00:14:59,303 --> 00:15:02,800
would be support from the
Chairman of the Tenant's Association.

201
00:15:03,009 --> 00:15:06,017
Now who is the Chairman of the Association
these days?

202
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,463
It's me.

203
00:15:09,925 --> 00:15:12,597
Alright, alright, good boy.

204
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:16,796
- What?
- Nothing, good boy.

205
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:51,338
I didn't know you were in
here. You keeping a vigil?

206
00:15:52,357 --> 00:15:54,683
No, I'm just sitting here with
Grandad.

207
00:15:57,988 --> 00:16:01,027
- What you got there?
- Oh, it's just some fruit.

208
00:16:04,279 --> 00:16:05,274
What you get?

209
00:16:05,446 --> 00:16:06,648
Got him some grapes have you?

210
00:16:07,254 --> 00:16:08,748
No, they're oranges.

211
00:16:11,109 --> 00:16:14,101
Oranges - oranges?

212
00:16:14,396 --> 00:16:20,404
Well, I couldn't think of what else to get him...
Look, Del, you know I'd like to help.

213
00:16:21,201 --> 00:16:23,123
I've got nothing further to
say on the subject.

214
00:16:23,888 --> 00:16:25,905
Here you are Grandad,
have a suck of that - go on.

215
00:16:27,563 --> 00:16:30,216
How you could do this to your own flesh
and blood, I've got no idea.

216
00:16:30,661 --> 00:16:32,605
Look, what's Miss Mackenzie
gonna think?

217
00:16:33,407 --> 00:16:38,105
I mean, I've only been Chairman of the Association
for two days and already I'm into her for a new bungalow.

218
00:16:38,342 --> 00:16:42,049
I'm not concerned with what -
I'm not concerned with what Miss Mackenzie thinks.

219
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:45,145
I'm only concerned with Grandad.
I mean, look at him.

220
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:54,251
His brain went years ago. Now his legs have gone.
There's only the middle bit of him left.

221
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,863
We could take him to Lourdes?

222
00:16:59,258 --> 00:17:03,093
Lord's. Lord's. But he don't
even like cricket.

223
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:09,254
I meant the Lourdes in France.

224
00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:13,709
Lourdes in France, no, no,
that's no good.

225
00:17:13,905 --> 00:17:17,826
I mean, what you gain on the miracle cures
you'd lose on the sea-sickness on the way home.

226
00:17:21,818 --> 00:17:23,546
Still here, Del Boy?

227
00:17:23,739 --> 00:17:29,417
Yes, I'm here Grandad, it's alright, don't worry.
Look Rodney's brought you some oranges.

228
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,429
I'll put 'em over
there shall I, with the other 3,000?

229
00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:39,727
You're a good boy, Rodney.
You've always looked after your old Grandad...

230
00:17:41,612 --> 00:17:45,539
Rodney, put your hand under my pillow.

231
00:17:46,446 --> 00:17:47,390
Yeah, okay.

232
00:17:48,595 --> 00:17:50,059
Why, what's under there?

233
00:17:50,894 --> 00:17:54,884
It's just something what was
left to me by my grandad.

234
00:18:00,699 --> 00:18:01,841
What is it?

235
00:18:02,046 --> 00:18:08,233
It's my grandad's old cigarette case. He carried
that with him right throughout the Boer War.

236
00:18:09,013 --> 00:18:18,827
That's a bit of history you're holding, not like them
Nelson's eyepatches Del Boy flogs to the tourists.

237
00:18:20,522 --> 00:18:21,955
What's this big dent?

238
00:18:22,191 --> 00:18:24,883
There's a story behind that Rodney.

239
00:18:25,165 --> 00:18:32,791
See, one night my grandad was on sentry duty,
standing out there alone in the middle of Africa.

240
00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:35,923
And suddenly a sniper fired at him.

241
00:18:36,342 --> 00:18:42,682
The bullet was aiming straight for my grandad's heart,
but he had that cigarette case in his breast pocket

242
00:18:42,879 --> 00:18:45,352
and the bullet hit that instead.

243
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:50,530
Jeez. It saved his life?

244
00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:52,829
Well, not really.

245
00:18:53,551 --> 00:18:58,195
See, the bullet ricocheted up his nose
and blew his brains out! 

246
00:19:04,824 --> 00:19:07,207
I want you to have it, Rodney.

247
00:19:07,501 --> 00:19:08,414
What?

248
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,863
My gran always said it were
lucky.

249
00:19:13,354 --> 00:19:17,801
Grandad, it made the bullet
ricochet up his nose and blow his brains out.

250
00:19:18,429 --> 00:19:22,366
Yeah, well, it could have ricocheted
downwards and ruined his entire life!

251
00:19:24,213 --> 00:19:29,992
And do you know where he died, Rodney?
Fighting the Zulus at the Battle of Rorks's Drift.

252
00:19:30,593 --> 00:19:35,257
No. Was he actually there? Oh
Cosmic!

253
00:19:37,896 --> 00:19:39,725
I always thought it was the Welsh.

254
00:19:39,953 --> 00:19:41,952
No, no, it was definitely the
Zulus, I saw the film.

255
00:19:44,636 --> 00:19:49,913
You keep that with you always,
Rodney. It'll be something to remember me by.

256
00:19:50,627 --> 00:19:52,204
Now you don't talk like that,
Grandad.

257
00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:57,498
It's alright Grandad, it's alright. He'll remember what
he done to you. I'll see to that, don't you worry!

258
00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:02,121
Oh don't keep on at him, Del.
He's doing what he thinks is best.

259
00:20:02,725 --> 00:20:09,373
Besides, I might not have liked living on the
ground. I've always been up in the air somewhere...

260
00:20:10,494 --> 00:20:16,315
I think I would have liked the garden
though. I could have gown some flowers.

261
00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:25,568
I've never ever had a garden. Still what you've
never had you never miss, eh Del Boy?

262
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:32,309
That's right Grandad. That's
right. Rodney, where you going?

263
00:20:33,001 --> 00:20:35,089
I'm gonna phone Miss Mackenzie
about that bungalow.

264
00:20:35,942 --> 00:20:40,152
That's a good boy Rodney, good boy.
You know it makes sense...

265
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:43,138
Welcome back, you're one of
the family again!

266
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:51,117
Del Boy. I'd like to be cremated.

267
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:56,464
Well, you'll have to wait till
morning 'cos they'll be closed now.

268
00:21:04,976 --> 00:21:12,882
Oi, cor, Rodney. Come on, look, clear this place up,
that old biddy from the council'll be here any minute.

269
00:21:13,129 --> 00:21:16,005
Del, I'd like you to meet Miss Mackenzie.

270
00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:20,189
Good evening.

271
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:26,391
Entende, I'm sure.

272
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,542
Please do sit down Miss Mackenzie.

273
00:21:29,795 --> 00:21:32,236
 Can I get you
a drink? Tea, coffee, Pina Colada?

274
00:21:32,415 --> 00:21:35,075
No thank you, that's very kind
of you, Mr Trotter.

275
00:21:35,613 --> 00:21:38,460
Mais oui, mais oui, Derek please.

276
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:43,944
Derek - I've just been in to
see your grandfather.

277
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:47,897
He's a very interesting man, he was telling me
how his own grandfather had died

278
00:21:48,062 --> 00:21:49,583
at the Battle of Rorke's Drift.

279
00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:54,066
Well, no, he wasn't actually
at Rourke's Drift.

280
00:21:54,223 --> 00:21:58,176
What he was doing, see, he camped
in a little field behind it,

281
00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:02,268
and one night he went over to the
Zulus to complain about the noise.

282
00:22:08,233 --> 00:22:11,445
Well - has it always been your ambition
to work for the council, Miss Mackenzie?

283
00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:12,763
Please call me Margaret.

284
00:22:12,946 --> 00:22:16,748
Margaret, Margaret, do you
know, that is my most favourite name.

285
00:22:16,931 --> 00:22:20,323
Thank you. Actually, when I left school
I wanted to be a choreographer.

286
00:22:20,574 --> 00:22:24,417
Really? What a coincidence 'cos I always wanted
to into the medical profession meself.

287
00:22:26,839 --> 00:22:30,840
A choreographer, Del, it means
she wanted to teach dance.

288
00:22:31,190 --> 00:22:33,122
Oh yeah, course, that sort of choreographer, yeah.

289
00:22:34,226 --> 00:22:36,193
Are you interested in dancing then,
Margaret?

290
00:22:36,678 --> 00:22:38,751
Well, I was a student of dance
for two years.

291
00:22:39,685 --> 00:22:41,915
Was you really, amazing, so
was I.

292
00:22:42,293 --> 00:22:45,331
Really? I was at the London
School of Dance, Knightsbridge.

293
00:22:45,577 --> 00:22:48,416
Del was at the Arthur Murray
School, Lewisham.

294
00:22:51,351 --> 00:22:52,203
Thank you Rodney.

295
00:22:52,445 --> 00:22:55,208
Rodney, why don't you go into the kitchen
and put your head in the food blender.

296
00:22:57,620 --> 00:22:59,707
Well, do you like ballet, Margaret?

297
00:23:00,123 --> 00:23:01,325
Oh yes, very much.

298
00:23:01,550 --> 00:23:05,425
So do I. Triffic innit? What
about that Nijinsky then, eh?

299
00:23:05,803 --> 00:23:06,530
Nijinsky?

300
00:23:06,730 --> 00:23:09,103
Fabulous dancer, eh? Well, for a Soviet.

301
00:23:09,412 --> 00:23:10,624
Yes. I suppose so.

302
00:23:10,865 --> 00:23:12,907
- I'm a great fan.
- Of Nijinsky's?

303
00:23:13,905 --> 00:23:17,042
Yeah, actually I was thinking of getting a couple of
tickets, you know, for one of the shows.

304
00:23:18,346 --> 00:23:22,376
Derek - Nijinsky died in 1950.

305
00:23:28,267 --> 00:23:29,805
Did she?

306
00:23:31,882 --> 00:23:35,398
She? Nijinsky was a man.

307
00:23:36,766 --> 00:23:41,090
Oh yes, yeah, of course he was. Sorry, sorry,
I always get him mixed up with...er...

308
00:23:41,647 --> 00:23:43,285
- Arkle.
- Yeah, Arkle.

309
00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:53,466
Well, that seems to be about it.
I think I have all the information I need.

310
00:23:54,084 --> 00:23:57,128
How long will we have to wait until we know if our
application's been accepted?

311
00:23:57,474 --> 00:23:59,979
You can know right now, Rodney.
I've just signed it.

312
00:24:01,792 --> 00:24:03,410
You mean we've got the
bungalow?

313
00:24:03,636 --> 00:24:06,950
Of course. Here's your new rent book
and all the necessary paperwork.

314
00:24:09,234 --> 00:24:12,354
I don't believe it. Are you sure you don't
want to double-check nothing?

315
00:24:12,547 --> 00:24:14,763
That won't be necessary Rodney.
Margaret knows what she's doing.

316
00:24:17,005 --> 00:24:18,441
I don't know what to say.

317
00:24:18,828 --> 00:24:21,576
Well, just say thank you to
the nice lady.

318
00:24:22,183 --> 00:24:26,439
Really there's no need,
I'm only too pleased to help.

319
00:24:27,118 --> 00:24:31,333
Many people get themselves voted on
to Tenants Committee's purely for their own ends.

320
00:24:32,032 --> 00:24:34,099
But Rodney's different. He cares.

321
00:24:34,333 --> 00:24:36,665
Oh he does, he cares. He's a
diamond, he really is.

322
00:24:36,907 --> 00:24:38,921
Well, I hope you'll be very
happy in your new home.

323
00:24:39,297 --> 00:24:41,161
I'll see you at our next
committee meeting then?

324
00:24:41,366 --> 00:24:46,649
Yes, yes of course. And thanks again –
I can't wait to tell Grandad.

325
00:24:47,494 --> 00:24:48,533
Well, I suppose we better...

326
00:24:48,739 --> 00:24:57,338
No, I'll see Margaret out, Rodney. Excuse me.
There you go. Don't drink it.

327
00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:02,208
Well,I suppose you must have 
pulled a few strings?

328
00:25:02,435 --> 00:25:07,125
Well, let's just say I applied some rather
liberal interpretations to our rules.

329
00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:10,524
Yeah, well, if only there was some way
that I could show my appreciation.

330
00:25:10,919 --> 00:25:16,613
But mon dieu - mon dieu - why don't I take
you out for a celebratory drink?

331
00:25:16,803 --> 00:25:19,432
Oh that's very nice of you,
but I've got a lot of paperwork to finish.

332
00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:21,935
Okay, well some other time
then maybe?

333
00:25:22,149 --> 00:25:24,470
Yes. Well, goodbye.

334
00:25:24,926 --> 00:25:29,815
No, not goodbye, Margaret,
just bonjour.

335
00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:42,975
Well, we've done it. Now that
is the power of being a Chairman, Del.

336
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:45,322
Leave it out. It was my chat
what did it.

337
00:25:46,098 --> 00:25:48,633
Oh yeah, your chat, yeah. 'A
choreographer.

338
00:25:48,815 --> 00:25:52,427
Of course, I've always wanted to be in the
medical profession meself.'

339
00:25:52,745 --> 00:25:54,440
Oi, cut that out will you?

340
00:25:55,530 --> 00:25:57,228
Have we got it, Del?

341
00:25:57,455 --> 00:26:00,866
Yeah, of course, we've got it,
Grandad. Look, we move in next week.

342
00:26:01,739 --> 00:26:07,009
'My old man said follow the van,
and don't dilly-dally on the way.'

343
00:26:07,597 --> 00:26:08,747
Hang on, I'll get
you a beer, Grandad.

344
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:22,242
We feeling a little better are
we, Grandad?

345
00:26:22,753 --> 00:26:25,119
I'm feeling on top of the
world Rodney.

346
00:26:25,348 --> 00:26:26,794
You know, I thought as much.

347
00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:33,513
Because five minutes ago you couldn't wiggle your toes and
now you're doing an audition for the Hot Shoe Show.

348
00:26:35,081 --> 00:26:37,378
You two have really stitched me
up ain't yer?

349
00:26:37,544 --> 00:26:40,824
And not just me - Dr Becker and Miss
Mackenzie as well.

350
00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:43,089
Oh shut up you tart.

351
00:26:43,988 --> 00:26:47,275
We couldn't let you in on our
little plan could we, 'cos, well,

352
00:26:47,446 --> 00:26:52,053
to put it politely, you're full of principle,
aren't you? Here you are Grandad.

353
00:26:52,395 --> 00:26:54,462
How else could we have done
it, Rodney?

354
00:26:54,703 --> 00:27:00,739
We've got ourselves a beautiful new home,
a bit of garden, a garage and no stairs.

355
00:27:01,005 --> 00:27:03,760
Grandad the point is that is...

356
00:27:08,363 --> 00:27:10,656
I suppose them stairs were a bit much for you.

357
00:27:11,781 --> 00:27:14,322
And I can hardly blame Del for the
lifts breaking down.

358
00:27:17,499 --> 00:27:19,999
You mean you even went to the
- right, come here you.

359
00:27:26,473 --> 00:27:29,323
Oh hello, Margaret. Did you
forget something?

360
00:27:29,991 --> 00:27:31,789
Only my manners I'm sorry to say.

361
00:27:32,696 --> 00:27:36,235
I've just realised that you, quite naturally,
would like to celebrate your new home.

362
00:27:36,431 --> 00:27:39,922
But as Rodney would have to stay in with
Grandad you have no one to go with.

363
00:27:40,267 --> 00:27:42,543
So if you're invitation is still open?

364
00:27:43,214 --> 00:27:47,746
Oh well, of course it is.
If you'd just like to hang on uno momento.

365
00:27:48,414 --> 00:27:51,298
I mustn't have too much to drink though –
it goes straight to my head.

366
00:27:52,140 --> 00:27:56,628
Does it really? We'll have to
keep a close eye on you then won't we?

367
00:27:57,368 --> 00:28:01,194
Oi, listen, I'm off out. I don't know what time I'm going
to be back so don't put the Chubb on, right.

368
00:28:01,531 --> 00:28:06,466
Listen what I thought we might do is slip down
the Nag's Head for a couple of swift halves

369
00:28:06,762 --> 00:28:12,430
and then we could go to this - well - go on to this spick
drinking club I know over at New Cross.

370
00:28:12,718 --> 00:28:13,988
I don't want to be out too late.

371
00:28:14,207 --> 00:28:17,088
Don't worry we'll get you back
in your flat before three.

372
00:28:17,461 --> 00:28:24,590
Here are Del, don't forget
your scarf, it's freez...Ooh my good Gawd.

373
00:28:25,207 --> 00:28:27,057
Well, hello again.

374
00:28:28,019 --> 00:28:29,596
He seems to be over the worst.

375
00:28:29,901 --> 00:28:31,879
Yeah, well, you know, it comes - and goes.

376
00:28:32,633 --> 00:28:33,948
So it would appear.

377
00:28:34,271 --> 00:28:35,339
- Collapse.
- What?

378
00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:36,788
Collapse!

379
00:28:37,151 --> 00:28:39,908
I shouldn't bother, you might
do yourself an injury.

380
00:28:40,153 --> 00:28:41,476
Oi, you're gonna need the keys.

381
00:28:42,984 --> 00:28:48,543
I am disgusted with the lot of you.
But especially with Rodney. I believed you.

382
00:28:48,952 --> 00:28:50,329
I believed me.

383
00:28:50,728 --> 00:28:52,886
I assume you'll be resigning,
Mr Chairman?

384
00:28:54,644 --> 00:28:56,121
First thing in the morning,
yeah.

385
00:28:56,327 --> 00:29:00,302
And I'll tell you what I'm going to do in the morning.
I'm going to do you all yet another favour.

386
00:29:00,692 --> 00:29:05,260
I'm going to save you the inconvenience
of moving. Goodnight to you all.

387
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,482
- Margaret.
- What?

388
00:29:10,757 --> 00:29:13,219
We still on for that drink?

389
00:29:18,517 --> 00:29:22,699
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