1 00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:39,658 - Hello Debbie. - Hello Rodney. 2 00:00:42,241 --> 00:00:45,115 'Hello Debbie.' 'Hello Rodney!' 3 00:00:46,586 --> 00:00:47,632 Shut up will yer! 4 00:00:49,673 --> 00:00:52,381 - Hello darling. - Been up to the hospital, love? 5 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,180 Yeah, we just come back from there now. 6 00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:55,455 How is he? 7 00:00:56,684 --> 00:00:59,786 Moaning! The doctors 'ave been trying to take his hat off, 8 00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:01,344 but he wouldn't have none of it! 9 00:01:01,918 --> 00:01:03,514 They gave him an X-ray yesterday, and they found out 10 00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:07,178 he got a pulled ligament in the wallet, and severe fraying of the trilby! 11 00:01:08,876 --> 00:01:11,982 - Give him my love. - Ooh, he ain't up to nothing like that! 12 00:01:22,554 --> 00:01:25,088 - This is awkward! - What is? 13 00:01:25,573 --> 00:01:30,110 Well, I wanted to buy one of my adult art magazines. 14 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,027 What's the problem? 15 00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:33,652 Debbie's serving! 16 00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:42,506 We've been seeing each other, sort of thing! She might think I'm odd! 17 00:01:42,699 --> 00:01:47,572 - She's gonna find out sometime Rodney. - Get it for us would you Del? 18 00:01:49,913 --> 00:01:53,205 - Alright, alright, Rodney! - Cheers Del, you're a pal! 19 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,285 Here you are, darling, look Exchange and Mart, 20 00:01:57,504 --> 00:01:59,528 oh, give me one of yer dirty magazines darling will you. 21 00:02:00,508 --> 00:02:01,578 Yeah, which one d'you want? 22 00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:04,066 Which one d'you want Rodney? 23 00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:10,059 Just the Exchange and Mart. 24 00:02:10,841 --> 00:02:14,996 'What one d'you want Rodney?' I don't believe you sometimes! 25 00:02:15,277 --> 00:02:17,851 I wish I'd had my Polaroid with me! You should've seen your face! 26 00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:19,753 You've embarrassed me! 27 00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:22,033 I've embarrassed you! 28 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:25,152 Oh, it's alright for some bird to think I'm a pervo though is it? 29 00:02:25,664 --> 00:02:27,379 You ain't taking her out, are you? 30 00:02:28,544 --> 00:02:32,446 - Don't know, I ain't made me mind up yet! - Oh, listen to him, will you! 31 00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:42,006 - Hey, what's your game, eh? - My Mum said she's gonna kill me! 32 00:02:42,307 --> 00:02:43,999 Well she won't need to will she? 33 00:02:44,171 --> 00:02:45,772 You'll kill yourself running across the road like that. 34 00:02:46,594 --> 00:02:48,515 No, haven't you ever heard of the Green Cross Code? 35 00:02:49,274 --> 00:02:50,916 But I'm gonna get killed in a minute! 36 00:02:51,094 --> 00:02:54,835 - No you're not. She's not gonna kill you! - She said she was! 37 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:58,023 Yeah, I know, but mums say lots of things they don't mean, don't they, eh? 38 00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:04,236 Here, tell you what. Here you are, go and get yourself an ice-cream 39 00:03:04,405 --> 00:03:05,382 at the Paki's on the corner. 40 00:03:05,549 --> 00:03:07,259 Oh thanks mister...what about my brother? 41 00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:14,131 - Ah, who's he? - That's your brother is it? 42 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,086 You'd better get him one an' all hadn't yer? 43 00:03:17,270 --> 00:03:18,009 Ta mister. 44 00:03:18,176 --> 00:03:20,714 Oi just a minute, why was your Mum telling you off? 45 00:03:20,982 --> 00:03:22,885 I let down the tyres on that motor. 46 00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:29,098 I'll kill you! 47 00:03:29,874 --> 00:03:32,038 Oh bloody hell Del, look at that. 48 00:03:37,589 --> 00:03:39,044 Little scallywags round here ain't they! 49 00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:42,269 Well it's nothing to laugh at Del, I mean, look at it! 50 00:03:42,610 --> 00:03:44,190 Oh no, they're only kids though ain't they? 51 00:03:44,569 --> 00:03:46,627 I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a nipper. 52 00:03:47,254 --> 00:03:51,474 I remember me and Albie Littlewood we let a couple of tyres down once. 53 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:56,443 Should have seen the palaver it caused. Everyone had to get off the bus! 54 00:03:58,747 --> 00:04:03,890 They were the days! Still, I'll go round the garage and get the foot pump for you. 55 00:04:04,196 --> 00:04:10,121 Yeah right. Oi, hold on what d'you mean you'll get me the foot pump? 56 00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:17,299 You ain't 'alf getting independent ain't yer? Alright, go and get your on foot pump. 57 00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:19,288 That's more like it. 58 00:05:19,305 --> 00:05:23,300 - Alright Champ? What you doing? - I'm running away from home. 59 00:05:24,806 --> 00:05:28,500 Running away from home are you? Ain't got very far have you? 60 00:05:29,856 --> 00:05:32,103 My Mum said I mustn't cross the road! 61 00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:40,356 That makes it difficult then dunnit? Where's yer brother? 62 00:05:41,003 --> 00:05:42,809 His Dad says he has to go in. 63 00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:51,755 I see. Well I reckon that's the best place for you to go an' all, don't you? 64 00:05:52,625 --> 00:05:54,285 She'll kill me! 65 00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:59,304 No she won't, listen, they were my tyres that you let down weren't they? 66 00:06:00,538 --> 00:06:06,095 So I'll come home with you and I'll tell your Mum that I asked you to let my tyres down 67 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:12,596 'cos I wanted to see how long it would take my brother to pump 'em back up again! How's that? 68 00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:14,085 Alright then. 69 00:06:14,778 --> 00:06:20,559 There, good boy, see, you know it makes sense! Come on then. 70 00:06:22,593 --> 00:06:25,930 You'd better get in 'cos the bogey man will be coming soon. 71 00:06:27,469 --> 00:06:31,665 - I've seen the bogey man! - Have you? What's he look like? 72 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,641 He's got a funny hat and wears pyjamas under his mac! 73 00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:37,218 That's not the bogey man, that's my Grandad! 74 00:06:41,288 --> 00:06:43,479 Right, come on then. Is this it? This is your house? 75 00:06:43,645 --> 00:06:46,027 Is it? Right, now don't you worry. 76 00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:49,371 She'll be as sweet as a nut, I'll guarantee. Just stay there. 77 00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:55,690 Where have you been? I was just about to call the police. 78 00:06:56,103 --> 00:07:02,100 Look at the state of you. Go and put your pyjamas on. I'll see you in a minute. 79 00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:03,621 Does that go for me an' all? 80 00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:09,619 - You what? Del? Cor, I don't believe it! - Junie, how you doing? 81 00:07:09,858 --> 00:07:13,299 - I'm fine! - Oh great. 82 00:07:13,655 --> 00:07:15,973 You don't still live on the estate, do you? 83 00:07:16,294 --> 00:07:19,149 Well yeah, over the way there, you know Nelson Mandela House. 84 00:07:19,327 --> 00:07:20,593 Here when d'you move in here? 85 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:26,755 Six weeks ago, there don't stand out there, people'll think you're the tallyman. Come in. 86 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,553 Right. 'Ere hang about. What about the old man? 87 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:31,579 Erh, he's gone away for a bit. 88 00:07:31,888 --> 00:07:34,339 Oh gone away for a bit. Anyone we know? 89 00:07:38,498 --> 00:07:42,054 He's soundo already. Didn't even want a bedtime story tonight. 90 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,467 He's a little scallywag ain't he? 91 00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:47,856 Ooh, he's a right handful! D'you know what he did today? 92 00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:52,864 He only let the tyres down on some crappy three-wheeled van over there! 93 00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:56,004 - Yeah? - I think he misses his Dad! 94 00:07:56,336 --> 00:08:00,177 Yeah, I used to miss my Dad - till I learnt to punch straight! 95 00:08:01,477 --> 00:08:02,686 When's the old man get out? 96 00:08:02,888 --> 00:08:06,234 Oh, he's not in prison Del! No, he works on an oil-rig. 97 00:08:06,450 --> 00:08:08,429 Oh I see! When are you expecting him back then? 98 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,503 About six months if he keeps his nose clean. 99 00:08:13,684 --> 00:08:18,315 I'd have popped over and seen you, but I didn't think for one minute you'd still be living here! 100 00:08:18,704 --> 00:08:22,296 D'you remember what you used to say to me all those years ago? 101 00:08:22,510 --> 00:08:24,822 I can remember quite a lot of funny things I used to say to you!!! 102 00:08:25,693 --> 00:08:31,337 I don't mean 'that'! You used to say, 'This time next year I'll be a millionaire!' 103 00:08:31,957 --> 00:08:35,998 Did I? What a wally! 104 00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:42,231 Well, we were much younger then weren't we, I mean, anything seemed possible in them days. 105 00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:46,566 'Ere, 'ere, how long ago was it that, you know, you and I, well, we stopped seeing each other? 106 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:51,972 - Must be...19 years now! - 19 - 19 years! 107 00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:54,009 It's longer than that in fact. 108 00:08:54,625 --> 00:09:00,382 We broke up in September 1965. Just after Albie Littlewood's funeral. 109 00:09:00,906 --> 00:09:04,867 That's right! Yeah, that's right, cor, we were a right little team up till then, weren't we? 110 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:10,455 What, the famous four! You and me, Albie and...what was his girlfriend's name? 111 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,318 - Deirdre. - That's it, Deirdre . 112 00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:16,516 Do you know I often wondered what would have happened 113 00:09:16,753 --> 00:09:19,103 if he hadn't been coming over to see me that night. 114 00:09:19,599 --> 00:09:22,315 You know, if he hadn't taken the short cut across the railway lines, 115 00:09:25,406 --> 00:09:28,167 if his bike hadn't accidentally fallen on the live rail. 116 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,548 I mean what's the point of talking about ifs! 117 00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:34,903 If me brother had been a bird he would have been me sister, wouldn't he, eh? 118 00:09:36,357 --> 00:09:39,840 Oh you had a kid brother! Rodney. How is he? 119 00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:42,427 Oh, he's alright. He's just reached that awkward age. 120 00:09:42,636 --> 00:09:43,999 You know he's a bit like a triffle! 121 00:09:44,196 --> 00:09:47,049 - What d'you mean, mixed up? - No, no, he's thick and fruity! 122 00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:51,656 Oh and what about your Grandad? 123 00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:54,537 Oh Grandad, well, he's not too fit at the moment, 124 00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:58,054 he's laid up in Dock but I sometimes think you know given half a chance 125 00:09:58,226 --> 00:09:59,929 he could be thick and fruity an' all. 126 00:10:00,911 --> 00:10:02,696 I take it you never got married! 127 00:10:03,564 --> 00:10:06,869 Me, no, no, no, I just get engaged! 128 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,679 'Ere, talking about that...you still got my engagement ring? 129 00:10:09,997 --> 00:10:12,603 Yeah, you don't want it back do you? 130 00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:16,202 No, no, no, I - you know I was just wondering that was all! 131 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,417 No, I was just wondering like, 'cos you know, 132 00:10:18,602 --> 00:10:23,007 I - I could always whip over home and get my Sheena Easton LP, if you like! 133 00:10:24,545 --> 00:10:28,744 Not much point, I haven't got a record player! 134 00:10:29,422 --> 00:10:32,471 Oh, I'll have to keep my eye open for one! For you, won't I, eh? 135 00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,256 Don't worry, you leave it to me, alright? 136 00:10:36,465 --> 00:10:45,850 Oh Del. Oh! 'Ere Del, help yourself to a drink. 137 00:10:46,186 --> 00:10:48,140 Yeah, thanks Junie. 138 00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:53,702 Oh come in love. 139 00:10:55,010 --> 00:10:57,168 It's alright. It's a friend of my daughter's. 140 00:10:58,748 --> 00:11:04,993 Debs, it's for you! She's got that bloody radio on again, she'll wake Jason! 141 00:11:55,925 --> 00:12:01,369 - You little plonker! - What are you doing here? 142 00:12:01,574 --> 00:12:03,583 What am I doing...What are you doing here? 143 00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:06,383 Well, this is where Debbie lives, ain't it? That bird from the paper... 144 00:12:07,044 --> 00:12:07,984 'Ere - 'ere you're not trying to... 145 00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:11,200 No I am not! Leave it out, I'm a friend of her Mum's! 146 00:12:11,486 --> 00:12:15,754 - Yeah, when d'you meet her then? - 1964 147 00:12:17,399 --> 00:12:19,351 What and you've only just come round to see her? 148 00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:25,144 No, I was engaged to her, soppy! 149 00:12:25,794 --> 00:12:27,246 What, another one! 150 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:31,513 Stone me Del, you've been engaged more times than a switchboard ain't yer! 151 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,172 Don't you start getting lippy. 152 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,802 I don't know what you brought that round for, 'Cos they ain't got a record player! 153 00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:40,153 That's alright, I ain't got a record! 154 00:12:41,518 --> 00:12:43,400 You are a saucy little git you really... 155 00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:47,131 Oi, I've got one of those at home on the sideboard! 156 00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:49,937 Yeah alright, well I'll get you another one tomorrow, wont I! 157 00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:56,581 Yeah you better...Junie, June, you'll never guess who that is? That is little Rodney! 158 00:12:57,053 --> 00:12:58,817 - You're kidding!! - No, straight up! 159 00:12:59,148 --> 00:13:05,263 I don't believe it! The last time I saw you, you were about that high! How old was he Del? 160 00:13:05,637 --> 00:13:07,026 Then, about two and 'alf! 161 00:13:10,627 --> 00:13:13,952 Anyway it's very nice to meet you again Rodney. 162 00:13:14,257 --> 00:13:15,271 And you... 163 00:13:15,757 --> 00:13:17,135 Ma'm. 164 00:13:19,243 --> 00:13:22,975 Leave it out Rodney, you're making me feel quite Tom and Dick you really are. 165 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,039 - You can call me June. - Oh thank you. 166 00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:29,493 Debbie won't be a minute, she's just putting some clothes on. 167 00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:32,030 - Oh she needn't bother! - What?? 168 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,998 No, no, no, I mean, you know, she needn't bother to put on anything special. 169 00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:43,434 I was thinking actually...er...if you two wanted to go out and you know 170 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:49,039 chat about old times and all that, well you know I'm sure me and Debbie wouldn't mind baby-sitting. 171 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,474 What d'you think Del? 172 00:13:52,681 --> 00:13:57,397 I daren't tell you what I think Junie! Come on let's go out for a drink! Shall we? 173 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,454 - Hello Rodney. - Debs! 174 00:14:01,747 --> 00:14:03,741 - You alright darling? - Oh watcha. 175 00:14:04,119 --> 00:14:05,049 You two met? 176 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:08,044 Yeah, he came in the paper shop this morning for a dirty magazine. 177 00:14:08,457 --> 00:14:10,906 'Ere no, actually...listen... 178 00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:13,760 Er, I was just saying you and me wouldn't mind baby-sitting 179 00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:15,490 if Del and yer Mum went out for a drink! 180 00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,289 - Yeah, that suits me. - I'll get my coat. 181 00:14:18,486 --> 00:14:19,873 Yeah alight, darling. 182 00:14:21,855 --> 00:14:25,951 'Ere I'd do that up if I was you, you'll get a cold on yer chest! 183 00:14:26,706 --> 00:14:31,816 It's Debbie's house, she can do what she likes. Do you want a brandy Debs? 184 00:14:32,197 --> 00:14:36,298 - Brandy eh? You're splashing out ain't yer? - Yeah well of course he's celebrating ain't he? 185 00:14:36,906 --> 00:14:38,027 Celebrating what? 186 00:14:38,697 --> 00:14:39,646 Oh, hasn't he told you? 187 00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:41,943 He's ust heard from the clinic! He's got an all clear. 188 00:14:51,154 --> 00:14:54,421 - Well, there you go. Old times, eh? - Old times. 189 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,728 'Ere , Junie, I hope you don't mind me asking, 190 00:14:58,928 --> 00:15:00,576 but there's always been something that's been bothering me. 191 00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:04,222 Look, if it's something from the past let's leave it. 192 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:08,196 No, no, it's just that I always wondered why it was that you left so suddenly like that? 193 00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:10,014 Without a letter, a word, or nothing! 194 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:14,203 It's personal Del! All over and done with now, right? 195 00:15:14,882 --> 00:15:16,925 Can we talk about something happier? 196 00:15:17,157 --> 00:15:20,511 Yeah, of course! What they put your ol' man in prison for? 197 00:15:21,632 --> 00:15:27,255 - He stole some watches. - Oh I see! Ain't still got 'em have you? 198 00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:30,720 We're getting a divorce when he comes out. 199 00:15:31,159 --> 00:15:33,370 The marriage never worked right from the start. 200 00:15:33,703 --> 00:15:35,846 Oh, I don't know! It seemed to have lasted quite a while! 201 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:39,168 Oh no, we've only been married seven years! 202 00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:43,244 Seven years?? But no Debbie. She must be...Oh I'm sorry! 203 00:15:43,929 --> 00:15:45,590 He's not Debbie's father. 204 00:15:45,823 --> 00:15:47,442 No, no, sorry I didn’t mean, you know! I wasn't trying to... 205 00:15:47,669 --> 00:15:52,767 'Ere, it's her birthday next week. We're gonna have a little party. D'you fancy coming? 206 00:15:52,955 --> 00:15:54,754 Yeah, not half, I'll have some of that! 207 00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:57,611 'Ere, I'll have to get that record player for you a bit lively won't I? 208 00:15:57,849 --> 00:15:59,002 Oh yes. 209 00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,255 'Ere what do you want? Another one, or same again. 210 00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:01,944 Oh, I'd love another one. Same again. 211 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,730 - Here you go Del. - Cheers Trig. 212 00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:10,131 'Ere you are, Maureen, same again love, that's a Singapore Sling and half of Strongbow. 213 00:16:10,499 --> 00:16:11,575 Coming up. 214 00:16:12,655 --> 00:16:13,942 What you up to Mickey? 215 00:16:14,325 --> 00:16:18,009 I've just come back from evening school. I'm learning Aikido. 216 00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:21,121 Really? Go on then, say something. 217 00:16:23,915 --> 00:16:25,623 Say something in Aikido. 218 00:16:26,049 --> 00:16:28,750 No, it's not a language Del. It's a martial art! 219 00:16:29,245 --> 00:16:31,324 I had a fight with five blokes last night! 220 00:16:31,643 --> 00:16:33,031 What was it, a pillow fight? 221 00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:35,488 Leave it out you ain't got a mark on you son! 222 00:16:35,756 --> 00:16:38,031 That's because I wiped 'em out with Aikido. 223 00:16:45,562 --> 00:16:50,223 Can you smell that? What is that? Sheep is it? It's cows? 224 00:16:50,832 --> 00:16:53,528 No, no, I know what it is. It's bullshit! 225 00:16:56,158 --> 00:16:57,672 I'm telling you the truth Del! 226 00:16:57,991 --> 00:17:00,203 Leave it out Mickey. I can always tell when you're lying. 227 00:17:00,465 --> 00:17:01,106 How? 228 00:17:01,348 --> 00:17:05,831 Yer lips move! 'Ere you are, love. How much is that? 229 00:17:06,576 --> 00:17:09,290 - Right cheers. - Cheers. Where's Rodney tonight? 230 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,343 Rodney? He's round at that young Debbie's place. 231 00:17:12,926 --> 00:17:15,667 Well I don't know what he sees in her! I mean, she's just a kid ain't she! 232 00:17:16,653 --> 00:17:18,755 She's 19 next week mouthy! 233 00:17:19,089 --> 00:17:21,179 What about your 19th birthday Mickey? 234 00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:22,287 What about it? 235 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,131 Well, you looking forward to it are you? 236 00:17:28,476 --> 00:17:33,911 19, 'ere just a minute that Debbie. That young Debbie, she can't be 19! 237 00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:36,300 She's 19 next Wednesday, Del. 238 00:17:36,599 --> 00:17:40,202 Yeah, tell you what, I've got an invitation to her 19th birthday party. 239 00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:44,082 - That's impossible! - What's the matter with you Del? 240 00:17:44,549 --> 00:17:47,019 19 an 'alf years ago, me and Debbie's Mum... 241 00:17:50,541 --> 00:17:55,828 - Oh my Gawd! - What are you talking about Del? 242 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,359 What are you talking about? 243 00:17:57,611 --> 00:18:02,474 No, no, no, nothing! No it's alright, no, forget it. Just no - forget it. 244 00:18:08,548 --> 00:18:13,973 Junie... Junie, I know why you left so suddently all them years ago! 245 00:18:15,822 --> 00:18:22,375 - Do you? - Pot pourri...Why didn’t you tell me? 246 00:18:22,817 --> 00:18:26,659 I couldn't. I didn't know how you'd take the news. 247 00:18:30,047 --> 00:18:31,624 I'm just going to the bog. 248 00:18:38,844 --> 00:18:39,922 Alright Del Boy? 249 00:18:40,109 --> 00:18:43,510 No, I'm not alright Trigger! I don't know what I'm gonna do! 250 00:18:43,885 --> 00:18:45,694 I just don't know what I'm gonna do! 251 00:18:47,272 --> 00:18:48,761 Hang on Del Boy, leave it to me! 252 00:18:50,323 --> 00:18:53,166 Come on hurry up, we've got an emergency out here! 253 00:18:53,556 --> 00:18:57,387 No, no, no, not that Trigger!! Come here. Listen to me. 254 00:18:57,926 --> 00:19:01,325 D'you remember about 20 years ago, I was - I was engaged to that bird right. 255 00:19:01,594 --> 00:19:04,492 What June? Yeah, I remember her! She's back on the estate now. 256 00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,965 That's right. Well she's got a - she's got a 19-year-old kid. 257 00:19:08,345 --> 00:19:10,548 Yeah, Debbie, works in the paper shop. So what? 258 00:19:10,727 --> 00:19:15,168 So what? Me and June broke up about 19 an' 'alf years ago right. 259 00:19:15,838 --> 00:19:22,487 That means that she was expecting her at the time! Which means Debbie is my kid! 260 00:19:23,311 --> 00:19:24,843 But she's a pretty girl! 261 00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:31,890 Of course she is! I mean, look , that' a chip off the old block, ain't it, eh? 262 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,684 Didn't June say nothing to you at the time? 263 00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:37,976 - No, not a dicky bird! - You sure Del? 264 00:19:38,239 --> 00:19:40,892 Well, I would have remembered something like that Trigger, wouldn't I? 265 00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,633 I mean, you sure she's your kid? 266 00:19:42,857 --> 00:19:45,994 Yeah, she's gotta be, I mean... she's gotta be! 267 00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:49,527 'Ere, the little cow short- changed me the other day! 268 00:19:50,401 --> 00:19:54,442 - Well that is it then innit? - You told the rest of the family? 269 00:19:54,617 --> 00:19:56,511 No, no, I've only just found out meself! 270 00:19:56,677 --> 00:20:01,409 Gawd knows what Grandad and Rodney are gonna say when they...Rodney!! 271 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,602 - Put her down Rodney! - You're back early ain't yer? 272 00:20:21,836 --> 00:20:25,736 Yeah, ain't we just, eh? I'm going to bed Del! 273 00:20:26,071 --> 00:20:27,928 No listen, June we've gotta talk. 274 00:20:28,112 --> 00:20:34,876 Look, I knew this was how you'd behave, that's why I didn't tell you! I'll see you around sometime... 275 00:20:35,163 --> 00:20:37,335 - No listen, June. - Maybe! 276 00:20:37,514 --> 00:20:38,868 Look we've gotta talk... 277 00:20:41,094 --> 00:20:43,488 You've made another lasting impression I see! 278 00:20:44,693 --> 00:20:47,305 Come on and get up out of there, come on. Give Debbie some air. 279 00:20:47,466 --> 00:20:48,582 The poor girl can't breathe. 280 00:20:48,759 --> 00:20:50,942 Yeah, alright! You want another brandy Deb? 281 00:20:51,113 --> 00:20:54,369 - No she don't! - I'll make my own decision thank you. 282 00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:59,385 Yes, of course! Of course, it's just that if you have too much to drink you might make yourself sick! 283 00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:01,851 And you don't wanna be ill for yer party next week. 284 00:21:02,192 --> 00:21:04,063 It's Debbie's birthday next week, Rodney. 285 00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:06,711 Yeah, I thought it was mine tonight! 286 00:21:08,997 --> 00:21:12,465 I'll get you a nice present shall I - dear? 287 00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:17,412 I'll get you a solid gold watch, eh? A couple of hundred quid at least, no rubbish! 288 00:21:19,081 --> 00:21:21,462 - Alright! - What's your game Del? 289 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:29,204 Just feeling generous that's all. Come on, Rodney I'll give you a lift home, come on. 290 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:32,603 Give me - Del, we only live 50 yards across the precinct! 291 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,748 I know that - I know, but when I came back tonight 292 00:21:34,912 --> 00:21:36,766 there was a load of muggers hanging about! 293 00:21:37,098 --> 00:21:38,484 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 294 00:21:40,944 --> 00:21:42,906 Well perhaps I'd better go Debs - I've gotta be up early! 295 00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:44,723 Alright then... 296 00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:53,241 - Goodnight. - Goodnight...Pleasant dreams. 297 00:22:02,423 --> 00:22:04,897 - Well, goodnight Debs. - Goodnight. 298 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:06,678 Come on Rodney! 299 00:22:10,835 --> 00:22:12,334 Now just what is your game Del? 300 00:22:12,513 --> 00:22:16,873 All that, 'Shall I buy you a nice gold watch shall I, dear?' And 'Sweet Dreams!' 301 00:22:17,717 --> 00:22:19,618 I was just being friendly, that's all! 302 00:22:19,784 --> 00:22:20,956 You're trying to pull her ain't yer? 303 00:22:21,109 --> 00:22:22,819 I am not trying to pull her! 304 00:22:23,335 --> 00:22:25,327 What d'you think I am, some kind of sicko or something? 305 00:22:25,716 --> 00:22:27,928 Well, you're trying to interfere between me and Debbie ain't yer? 306 00:22:28,074 --> 00:22:32,001 I am not trying to interfere, Rodney. Now listen. Rodney, look, I just... 307 00:22:32,287 --> 00:22:35,412 I don't think that you two are...'right' for each other! 308 00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:36,988 It's got nothing to do with you! 309 00:22:37,729 --> 00:22:40,183 Me and Debbie think we're right for each other! 310 00:22:41,116 --> 00:22:43,381 As a matter of fact we're thinking of getting engaged! 311 00:22:43,694 --> 00:22:48,931 You're what? You can't get engaged to her Rodney. 312 00:22:49,106 --> 00:22:53,763 No, what I mean - what I mean is, what I mean is you're too young! 313 00:22:54,029 --> 00:22:57,087 I'm 24 Del! By the time you was my age 314 00:22:57,253 --> 00:23:03,654 you'd been engaged to every bird this side of the water! No, you're just jealous ain't yer? 315 00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:06,961 You can't stand the thought that I might end up with a nice little wife. 316 00:23:09,913 --> 00:23:12,914 You're gonna end up with a nice little stretch if you ain't careful! 317 00:23:13,955 --> 00:23:16,186 Rodney, you mustn't get engaged to her! 318 00:23:16,571 --> 00:23:18,719 You give me one good reason why I mustn't?? 319 00:23:19,657 --> 00:23:21,884 Because she's my daughter! 320 00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:28,645 That's why! 321 00:23:36,006 --> 00:23:38,057 - Debbie - is - your - daughter? - Yeah! 322 00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:43,853 No. It's not real! No, it's not happening to me! 323 00:23:44,024 --> 00:23:47,067 I'll tell you what, I'm in the middle of a bad trip! I'm gonna wake up in a minute! 324 00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:50,511 I've worked it out on the calculator Rodney! 325 00:23:51,928 --> 00:23:57,142 Me and June broke up 19 and 'alf years ago. It's Debbie's 19th birthday next week! 326 00:23:57,422 --> 00:24:00,785 You're the one with the GCE in Maths, you work it out yourself! 327 00:24:02,736 --> 00:24:04,864 Well maybe she met someone after you! 328 00:24:05,114 --> 00:24:07,232 No, she was born a couple of months after! 329 00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:08,943 Well then she was premature! 330 00:24:09,130 --> 00:24:12,288 Premature?? She'd have had to have been bloody instant, Rodders! 331 00:24:15,519 --> 00:24:17,026 But - she's a pretty girl! 332 00:24:20,266 --> 00:24:29,643 I know that - I can see Mum in her! Come on...cheer up Rodney. 333 00:24:30,657 --> 00:24:37,503 Cheer up?? Del I've just met the first girl in my life who really means something to me, 334 00:24:37,682 --> 00:24:40,121 and it turns out to be my bloody niece! 335 00:24:44,976 --> 00:24:50,054 Alright, Rodney. Come on, that's why I had to tell you, you see, 336 00:24:50,997 --> 00:24:58,096 'cos this sort of thing ain't allowed - it's... well, it's incense! 337 00:25:03,943 --> 00:25:09,573 Say you had got married to her - you can see what sort of confusion that would have led to, 338 00:25:10,096 --> 00:25:12,026 I would have been your father-in-law! 339 00:25:13,629 --> 00:25:14,819 Bloody hell! 340 00:25:14,982 --> 00:25:19,853 Yer mother-in-law would have been yer aunt, yer wife would have been yer second cousin - 341 00:25:20,808 --> 00:25:24,596 Gawd knows what that would have made Grandad, the fairy godmother I should think. 342 00:25:26,229 --> 00:25:29,498 Del, are you absolutely certain of this? 343 00:25:29,835 --> 00:25:34,520 Yeah, well, certain as I'll ever be. Just think eh, Rodney, 344 00:25:35,598 --> 00:25:43,822 young Debbie has grown up all these years 'an she never never knew that - I was her Daddy! 345 00:25:46,105 --> 00:25:47,679 Do you think I ought to tell her? 346 00:25:47,976 --> 00:25:53,219 Eh, no, no, that could come as a great disap...great shock. 347 00:25:54,057 --> 00:25:55,383 No perhaps you're right! 348 00:25:56,626 --> 00:25:58,363 - Could you do something for me Del? - Yeah sure. 349 00:25:59,522 --> 00:26:00,952 You go and see June. 350 00:26:02,166 --> 00:26:06,827 You go and see her and you find out if it's definite -definitely definite! 351 00:26:07,612 --> 00:26:11,333 Yeah, tomorrow - I definitely promise! 352 00:26:14,635 --> 00:26:20,396 Well I'm going to bed. I bet I'll have a nightmare! 353 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,211 I bet I'll have a nightmare where my wife keeps calling me Uncle Rodney, eh? 354 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:35,030 Alright Del, you've got five minutes! Say what you have to say and then go! 355 00:26:35,203 --> 00:26:36,800 Is Debbie in? 356 00:26:36,974 --> 00:26:39,453 No, she - she's gone over her Auntie's. 357 00:26:39,905 --> 00:26:43,081 Look, if you've come here to dig up the past again, you can forget it! 358 00:26:43,257 --> 00:26:45,573 Come on Junie, there are things that have got to be discussed! 359 00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:48,703 - What sort of things? - Look Junie! I know! 360 00:26:48,893 --> 00:26:51,023 So you said last night! 361 00:26:51,513 --> 00:26:54,290 - Well then? Are you gonna tell her or shall I? - Tell her what? 362 00:26:54,457 --> 00:26:57,204 Oh come on, June. Don't play the innocent with me. 363 00:26:57,383 --> 00:27:00,162 Tell her - that I am her father! 364 00:27:02,856 --> 00:27:04,476 You're her... 365 00:27:05,824 --> 00:27:16,603 Oh Del! When you said you knew, I thought you really knew! Debby's not your kid. 366 00:27:18,585 --> 00:27:25,656 Yes she is. No, come on, she was born six months after we broke up! 367 00:27:26,131 --> 00:27:29,484 Well she's gotta be - I mean, if I'm not her father, then who is?? 368 00:27:32,915 --> 00:27:34,850 Albie Littlewood! 369 00:27:38,318 --> 00:27:48,706 Albie Littlewood? Albie Littlewood? My bestest friend in all the world? 370 00:27:50,426 --> 00:27:57,860 The greatest pal a bloke could have, and all the time he was doinking my bird? 371 00:27:59,453 --> 00:28:01,292 That's why I left! 372 00:28:03,299 --> 00:28:06,076 How could he do it to me? We were blood-brothers! 373 00:28:06,718 --> 00:28:10,945 We were just kids - we were just playing games. 374 00:28:11,909 --> 00:28:17,289 That night he died on the railway lines - he wasn't coming to meet you in the pub. 375 00:28:18,075 --> 00:28:19,902 He was coming to meet me! 376 00:28:20,818 --> 00:28:24,062 For nigh on 20 years I've carried that guilt around with me, 377 00:28:25,636 --> 00:28:29,191 it's hung round my neck like some great two-ton medallion! 378 00:28:29,428 --> 00:28:36,100 Well, well, now you're free of it ain't you? Albie didn't take the short-cut for you. 379 00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:38,570 It's not the only reason why I was feeling guilty! 380 00:28:39,358 --> 00:28:43,630 'Cos if he had made it across the railway lines that night he wouldn't have met me in the pub! 381 00:28:44,895 --> 00:28:49,625 I wasn't in the pub! I was round at his bird Deirdre's place! 382 00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:52,792 You were with Deirdre?? 383 00:28:53,072 --> 00:28:59,330 It's alright, June. We were only playing games, only playing games. 384 00:28:59,898 --> 00:29:02,912 Why you dirty little toe-rag. 385 00:29:03,809 --> 00:29:05,472 - Hello Mum. - Hello love. 386 00:29:05,837 --> 00:29:08,622 I've brought Mickey back, we're going to my room to listen to the radio. 387 00:29:09,612 --> 00:29:12,748 Good evening young Michael! Alright? 388 00:29:14,366 --> 00:29:17,600 Watchya Del! I just met Debbie walking across the estate. 389 00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:19,887 So I thought I'd better make sure she got home safely. 390 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,385 Yes! So you thought you'd escort the young lady back to her bedroom. 391 00:29:26,328 --> 00:29:33,450 Yeah, I know Mickey, I know only too well my son! Goodnight to you all! 392 00:29:33,912 --> 00:29:38,421 Oh Mickey, make sure you don't take the short cut across the railway line. 393 00:29:43,284 --> 00:29:46,704 Subtitles by NVL