1 00:01:08,176 --> 00:01:15,180 - Alright Trigger? - Yeah, I'm alright...em...well 2 00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:25,213 Yes, it's alright, I know Trigger, I know mate. You going back to the flat are you? 3 00:01:25,387 --> 00:01:26,390 Yeah I'm coming back. 4 00:01:27,513 --> 00:01:33,348 Do us a favour will yer, go on open up, I've got one or two things to do – 5 00:01:34,623 --> 00:01:36,767 bung the vicar a couple of quid, that sort of thing. 6 00:01:38,703 --> 00:01:43,691 See them three over there, they're the North London branch of the family. 7 00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:48,653 Make 'em welcome will you, keep your eye on 'em. 8 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,992 - Yeah, sure. - Thanks, cheers Trigger. 9 00:02:16,279 --> 00:02:18,248 I love a nice funeral. 10 00:02:19,434 --> 00:02:21,725 Why don't you hang about, there's two more after this! 11 00:03:37,643 --> 00:03:44,486 - We'll leave the car shall we, eh? - We'll have a nice little walk, eh? 12 00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:48,795 Yeah, come on...let's have a nice walk eh... 13 00:03:56,614 --> 00:03:59,925 Oi, gently!!! 14 00:04:11,087 --> 00:04:13,426 Well Michael. How's business in the pub? 15 00:04:14,269 --> 00:04:17,344 Not bad Boycie. Not bad. Oh, you didn't hear did you? 16 00:04:17,686 --> 00:04:20,116 Thursday night some berk nicked me cigarette machine! 17 00:04:20,619 --> 00:04:24,473 Never! What about that sonic burglar alarm Del Boy sold you? 18 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,691 Oh yeah, they nicked that an' all. 19 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,756 Just make some excuse Stan. Say we're in a hurry or something! 20 00:04:42,401 --> 00:04:43,825 But it's a funeral love! 21 00:04:44,403 --> 00:04:49,606 We've gotta get all the way back to North London. If we don't leave now we'll cop the rush hour! 22 00:04:50,351 --> 00:04:53,395 Look, I don't wanna go back to their flat either Jean, but I'm family! 23 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:57,939 I wanna go back there - he was my brother! 24 00:04:58,168 --> 00:05:01,025 It's nothing to do with you Uncle Albert so stay out of it! 25 00:05:01,454 --> 00:05:04,857 What do you mean he was your brother!? You and him didn't talk to each other for years! 26 00:05:05,218 --> 00:05:10,053 Me and your Aunt Ada didn't talk to each other for years but she was still me wife! 27 00:05:11,731 --> 00:05:14,764 Come on, we'll go back for 'alf hour, show our respect. 28 00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:17,624 Anyway, we'll only have him whining all the way home! 29 00:05:21,649 --> 00:05:23,682 And don't you dare light that pipe in my car! 30 00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:31,316 - It was a lovely service vicar. - Thank you very much. Thank you. 31 00:05:34,825 --> 00:05:38,023 Has anyone seen my hat? It was here. 32 00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:47,541 Right, 'ere you go. Here you are look, come on, come on! 33 00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:48,998 Get stuck in there will you. 34 00:05:50,354 --> 00:05:52,193 Where's the cake and candles Del? 35 00:05:54,002 --> 00:05:54,949 Don't matter! 36 00:05:57,988 --> 00:06:02,034 So the Chinese bird says to him, 'Listen I ain't cooking at this time of night.' 37 00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:09,943 - Is that true? - Have a day off Trigger! 38 00:06:17,352 --> 00:06:20,256 Well everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, eh Trigger? 39 00:06:20,431 --> 00:06:25,901 - Yeah, it's a good do Dave! - Yeah, I don't believe you mob sometimes. 40 00:06:27,382 --> 00:06:28,949 Have you got any fags on you Trigger? 41 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,047 - What sort d'you fancy? - Anything'll do! 42 00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:43,993 Here you are, keep 'em, I've got loads! 43 00:06:44,782 --> 00:06:46,336 - Cheers! - Cheers Dave. 44 00:06:48,426 --> 00:06:51,181 - Rodney, innit? - Well, it is when Trigger ain't about, yeah. 45 00:06:51,571 --> 00:06:56,316 Uncle Albert - well great Uncle Albert really! I'm yer Grandad's brother. 46 00:06:56,982 --> 00:07:01,203 Yeah, yeah, he told me about you. But, you know, I don't take no notice of that sort of thing! 47 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:02,971 No, no, it's best not to son! 48 00:07:03,368 --> 00:07:06,860 Shame really, me and him lost touch with each other years ago. 49 00:07:07,356 --> 00:07:11,319 I spent most of my life at sea, you know, Royal Navy, Merchant. 50 00:07:11,763 --> 00:07:14,501 - D'you know, I was torpedoed five times! - Yeah? 51 00:07:14,763 --> 00:07:17,327 Yeah! D'you know what the crews nicknamed me? 52 00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:19,137 Jonah? 53 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:24,356 No! No, they didn't call me Jonah - not many of them! 54 00:07:24,757 --> 00:07:28,834 They used to call me Boomerang Trotter, 'cos I always come back! 55 00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:31,093 Triffic! 56 00:07:31,531 --> 00:07:32,862 'Ere Rodney, do me a favour will you. 57 00:07:33,039 --> 00:07:34,237 You know them batteries out there in the hall. 58 00:07:34,397 --> 00:07:36,329 Stick 'em out in the corridor in case someone falls over 'em. 59 00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:38,720 'Ere, Del, come here, come here son, listen to this one. 60 00:07:39,946 --> 00:07:41,083 What is it, what? Go on. 61 00:07:41,489 --> 00:07:43,748 Well, we'll have one more drink and get on our way, alright? 62 00:07:45,919 --> 00:07:50,124 I don't like the people over this side of the river! They're not as nice as North Londoners! 63 00:07:50,313 --> 00:07:53,209 You don't know what you're talking about girl! I was born round here! 64 00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:54,927 Need I say more? 65 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,168 You couldn't wish to meet a more honest and generous people as South Londoners. 66 00:07:59,365 --> 00:08:03,099 Honest and generous! I noticed they didn't have a whip round at the cemetery! 67 00:08:03,292 --> 00:08:05,802 Well they couldn't could they! Someone nicked the vicar's hat! 68 00:08:08,144 --> 00:08:10,800 Del...Del...do you...remember us, cousin Stan. 69 00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:13,767 Stan yes, of course I remember you... Yeah I was gonna come over and have a chat with you. 70 00:08:13,947 --> 00:08:16,205 - This is my wife, Jean. - Jean, yeah, hello Jean. How are you? 71 00:08:16,387 --> 00:08:19,063 - Uncle Albert. - Oh Uncle Albert, is it? Hello. 72 00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:23,035 Your mum asked me to be your Godfather. 73 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,213 Yeah? I thought Uncle George was my Godfather? 74 00:08:25,543 --> 00:08:29,126 - Yeah, that's right. Me and George spun a coin. - George lost! 75 00:08:31,569 --> 00:08:33,160 So what you been up to these days Stan? 76 00:08:33,342 --> 00:08:35,126 Are you still poncing round in the insurance game, are you! 77 00:08:35,529 --> 00:08:38,889 I'm still in the insurance business, yeah, and doing very nicely thank you! 78 00:08:39,076 --> 00:08:42,684 - We've got our own place all paid! - Oh really what you got, a maisonette? 79 00:08:42,858 --> 00:08:47,249 - No - it's a mobile home actually! - Oh, you've a caravan? 80 00:08:48,249 --> 00:08:52,610 It's got two separate bedrooms, a breakfast bar and a combined toilet and shower-room! 81 00:08:53,723 --> 00:08:58,507 - It's a big caravan? - Well this is just a council flat isn't it? 82 00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:01,560 Yeah, but there's no chance of this getting a puncture is there! 83 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,748 He's been living with us for 18 months now! 84 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,883 He only popped round to borrow a screwdriver! 85 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,764 If I hear another nautical yarn I'll swing for him! 86 00:09:12,317 --> 00:09:14,175 Someone suggested an old folks' home! 87 00:09:14,476 --> 00:09:18,445 - You can't do that, he's family! - Oh we didn't consider it. Did we love? 88 00:09:18,644 --> 00:09:22,581 No, of course not! Well not at them prices anyway! 89 00:09:26,085 --> 00:09:27,775 - Are you alright son? - Yeah. 90 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,320 You ever been on board a ship Rodney? 91 00:09:30,943 --> 00:09:35,503 Yeah, yeah, when I was a kid. Grandad took me. 92 00:09:36,595 --> 00:09:39,319 I see. Did he ever take you down and show you the engine room? 93 00:09:39,714 --> 00:09:44,710 No, no, it was only the Woolwich ferry! He got seasick. 94 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,808 We had to go home via the Rotherhithe tunnel. 95 00:09:48,602 --> 00:09:51,704 I used to work in the engine room - maintenance, that sort of thing. 96 00:09:52,045 --> 00:09:54,441 Cor, them boilers took some looking after and all! 97 00:09:55,389 --> 00:09:59,020 D'you know what the most important gadget is in the engine room? 98 00:09:59,626 --> 00:10:01,233 The lock on the porthole? 99 00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:04,487 No - they don't have port... 100 00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:07,293 It's the safety valve on the boiler! 101 00:10:07,651 --> 00:10:13,747 You get a build-up of pressure and the safety valves ain't working - bang - the whole gubbins explodes! 102 00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:18,620 You've gotta find a way of releasing the pressure, that's what's happening to Del! 103 00:10:18,907 --> 00:10:23,300 He's releasing the pressure - laughter's just his safety valve! 104 00:10:25,975 --> 00:10:29,341 I don't think it's right! Them people laughing in there! 105 00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:34,864 I ain't laughing...I ain't today, I ain't laughing tomorrow, 106 00:10:36,608 --> 00:10:38,673 I don't wanna laugh for the rest of my life. 107 00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:41,448 Well, as long as you're happy son. 108 00:10:44,304 --> 00:10:45,646 I'm away now, boys. So I'll see you later. 109 00:10:45,889 --> 00:10:46,860 In your trousers, Michael. 110 00:10:47,034 --> 00:10:49,471 - I'm off now, Del alright son. - Yeah. 'Ere, thanks for coming Mike. 111 00:10:49,634 --> 00:10:51,101 'Ere, you're doin' a bit of a flyer ain't you? 112 00:10:51,352 --> 00:10:54,811 Well, as a sign of respect for yer Grandad I've decided to open the pub early. 113 00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:58,481 Oh that's very nice of you Mike, appreciate the gesture! Thanks. 114 00:10:58,676 --> 00:11:00,853 Oh about the booze. It comes to 86 quid. 115 00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:12,204 Please Mike, don't discuss money now, I mean you'll be offering me a discount for cash next won't you! 116 00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:20,441 I saw the periscope half mile off starboard. I saw the wash through the torpedo’s fins. 117 00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:26,952 It caught us at the...at the pointed end. Wallop! Up it went. 118 00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:31,700 Foam, flame, fire smoke, burning metal! 119 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,715 As soon as it happened I thought to myself, 'Hello, we've been hit.' 120 00:11:37,771 --> 00:11:40,689 - I s'pose you get to know the little signs, eh? - Yes! 121 00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:45,917 Yeah, okay Mike, 'ere listen, don't worry about that burglar alarm that got nicked. 122 00:11:46,092 --> 00:11:47,891 'Cos Trigger knows where he can get hold of another one. 123 00:11:48,461 --> 00:11:50,149 Alright, so I'll whip it round to you okay. 124 00:11:50,538 --> 00:11:51,770 Okay, cheers Del. See you Rodney. 125 00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:55,330 Thanks Mike, yeah. 126 00:11:55,719 --> 00:11:58,602 Del, I've just been telling young Rodney about my days in the navy. 127 00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:01,251 I don't know why you don't join up? 128 00:12:01,718 --> 00:12:03,659 Yeah, well you've just given me five good reasons! 129 00:12:22,106 --> 00:12:28,453 Here we are. Here we go Rodney, look specialty of the house. Sausage unt ala the old mash! There you go. 130 00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,203 I ain't really all that hungry Del. 131 00:12:31,743 --> 00:12:32,704 Oh come on Rodders! 132 00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:36,297 I've been an hour out there in that kitchen cooking this! Go on, try it at least. 133 00:12:42,627 --> 00:12:44,844 - I can't eat that Del... - What's wrong with it? 134 00:12:45,425 --> 00:12:49,193 Well, it's nothing like Grandad's is it? It tastes nice. 135 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,494 I tried to mess it up, honestly I did, Rodney! 136 00:12:55,996 --> 00:12:57,649 I just didn't have his knack! 137 00:12:58,242 --> 00:13:01,998 Do you know he was taught to cook at one of London's biggest establishments. 138 00:13:02,596 --> 00:13:03,431 You're kidding. 139 00:13:03,632 --> 00:13:11,361 No, straight up, he was a trainee chef at the Ear, Nose and Throat Hospital! Now, come on then. 140 00:13:13,076 --> 00:13:15,612 - Come on, let's give this an 'iding? Shall we? - Yeah, why not? 141 00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:25,163 Well it's just - it's just us two now bruv! Me and you against the rest! 142 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,048 They don't stand a bloody chance do they, eh? 143 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,307 Del, someone's trying to pull our lavatory chain! 144 00:13:39,014 --> 00:13:44,784 Yeah, I know - I know it's an awkward one innit? The secret is one slow pull and then a sharp one! 145 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,642 There you go. There it is see. 146 00:13:53,184 --> 00:13:59,445 What I'm saying is, right, we're the only ones in the flat and someone's trying to flush our lav!! 147 00:14:02,522 --> 00:14:06,045 No, yeah, well maybe it's a washer! Or something! 148 00:14:06,774 --> 00:14:08,699 How can a bloody washer pull the chain??? 149 00:14:10,778 --> 00:14:13,214 I don't know do I! I am not a scientist or something? Am I? 150 00:14:14,134 --> 00:14:21,402 No, it's alright, it's probably, you know quite simple. You know nothing. Nothing at all really. 151 00:14:23,219 --> 00:14:24,732 Where's my bloody hammer? 152 00:14:36,797 --> 00:14:39,472 - Oh my bloody head! - Gordon Bennett!! 153 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,944 You nearly had your head caved in then! You soppy old sod! 154 00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:46,801 I had too much of that cognac! Where is everyone? 155 00:14:47,313 --> 00:14:51,299 Well, they've all gone home! It's 'alf past 11 at night. 156 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,071 Where the hell have you been? 157 00:14:53,345 --> 00:14:57,309 I conked out in one of them beds, my belly's going round and round. 158 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:05,733 Oh my Gawd! 'Alf past 11. D'you think Stan and Jean'll be worried about me? 159 00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:10,284 Worried about you? Yeah, well of course they'll be worried about you! 160 00:15:13,027 --> 00:15:17,866 Look, we can't drive you back there tonight now, no, me and Rodney have had enough to drink! 161 00:15:19,017 --> 00:15:20,249 What about a min-cab then? 162 00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:23,563 No, you won't get one now Rodney, they'll be busy washing out their back seats! 163 00:15:26,784 --> 00:15:30,399 I reckon you've got to stay the night and I'll drive you back to North London tomorrow. 164 00:15:30,955 --> 00:15:34,661 Rodney, you go and lock up, oi, make sure you bring them batteries in 'fore someone swipes 'em. 165 00:15:35,188 --> 00:15:39,091 - No one's gonna nick them Del! - Really, how d'you think we got 'em? 166 00:15:41,346 --> 00:15:42,783 I appreciate this son. 167 00:15:43,161 --> 00:15:46,276 Oh forget it, I'll get you a pillow and some blankets, and you can make yourself a bed 168 00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:47,716 there on the chaise longue, alright? 169 00:15:48,011 --> 00:15:51,522 'Ere, I won't be able to sleep on there Del! I need a good firm mattress, 170 00:15:52,528 --> 00:15:54,577 I've got a curvature of the spine see! 171 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,549 Really? It's all them years sleeping in a hammock I suppose is it! 172 00:15:57,861 --> 00:15:59,517 Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised! 173 00:15:59,948 --> 00:16:01,293 I might as well kip down in there, eh? 174 00:16:01,664 --> 00:16:03,640 No, no, you can't go in there. That's my Grandad's room! 175 00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:05,295 Yeah but - I'm his brother! 176 00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:08,526 Yeah, that don't make no difference. Only me and Rodney are allowed in that room! 177 00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:12,379 That room is gonna remain exactly as he left it! 178 00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:18,583 That room is going to be a shrine dedicated to the memory of my Grandfather. 179 00:16:21,317 --> 00:16:22,437 I understand Del! 180 00:16:22,638 --> 00:16:24,187 No, we'll just have to think of something else that's all. 181 00:16:24,788 --> 00:16:27,384 Listen, if I get the big mattress out of Rodney's room I can put it down. 182 00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:29,760 No, I'd never get it through the door would I. 183 00:16:30,713 --> 00:16:34,990 - Oi, where'd you want these then? - Sling 'em in Grandad's room for now will you Rodney. 184 00:16:48,676 --> 00:16:53,708 - Alright? D'you get Albert home safely? - Yes, I got him home safely alright Rodney! 185 00:16:56,945 --> 00:17:01,773 - Morning son! - Morning. You're back? 186 00:17:02,445 --> 00:17:06,083 - Boomerang Trotter always comes back! - What happened? 187 00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:10,657 What happened? I'll tell you what happened, I drove him all the way back to North London. 188 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,646 Right through the bleedin' rush hour! And what did we find when we got there? 189 00:17:13,952 --> 00:17:15,895 Stan and Jean have moved! 190 00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:22,423 Moved? What do you mean moved? 191 00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:23,751 What do I mean? 192 00:17:24,286 --> 00:17:27,260 They hooked the caravan on the back of the Cortina and they've had it away! 193 00:17:28,373 --> 00:17:34,165 This was lying where the caravan once stood! It's just my clothes and a few personal belongings. 194 00:17:35,658 --> 00:17:37,408 You mean that's all you've got in the world? 195 00:17:37,812 --> 00:17:42,706 No, we've gotta go back tomorrow to pick up his parrot! How could they do this to me? 196 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:46,978 That is disgusting innit? I mean, deserting him like that! 197 00:17:47,487 --> 00:17:49,411 Yeah! It ain't the first time it's happened either! 198 00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:53,044 I mean, I think, there should be a law or something against that! 199 00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:54,984 Yeah, I know. All I wanna know is where they've got... 200 00:17:56,651 --> 00:17:58,015 Ere. What did you say just then? 201 00:17:58,876 --> 00:18:02,861 I said it ain't the first time it's happened either!! D'you remember yer cousin Audrey? 202 00:18:03,579 --> 00:18:05,979 I went and stayed with her and her husband Kevin for a year. 203 00:18:06,301 --> 00:18:08,937 One day they sent me down to Sainsbury's with a shopping list. 204 00:18:09,579 --> 00:18:15,251 When I come back they'd emigrated! Not a dicky bird to me though! 205 00:18:16,236 --> 00:18:19,223 Then there was young Gillian, you know, Patsy's girl. 206 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:22,845 I went over there to give her a bit of comfort 'cos her husband was on nights. 207 00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:29,875 Six months later she sets fire to the house. She got three months medical supervision for that! 208 00:18:30,673 --> 00:18:36,887 I can remember thinking as I stood on the ledge and jumped into the fireman's net 'That's gratitude for you.' 209 00:18:40,594 --> 00:18:42,405 I ain't 'arf got a funny feeling Del! 210 00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:51,996 So have I Rodney! I feel like a turkey who's just caught Bernard Mathews grinning at him! 211 00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:56,713 What shall I do with these then? 212 00:18:57,519 --> 00:19:00,572 I tell you what you ought to do with these shall I, put 'em in here right. 213 00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:03,540 In they go, in there, 'cos you're not staying here. 214 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,642 No, of course not! Just for a couple of days that's all! 215 00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,923 No, no, no, not for a couple of days, not for one day! 216 00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:13,550 There's a seaman's mission down there at St Katherine's. You go down here, go on. 217 00:19:13,883 --> 00:19:17,883 Well, I thought I'd just have a look at the local paper, and find meself some digs. 218 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,873 Yeah, that's a good idea Uncle. They'll have a local paper down at the mission! 219 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:22,214 Now, go on sling your hook. 220 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,815 Yeah - alright Del! Don't mind if I have a quick cup of tea do you? 221 00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:28,850 No, go on there's a flask of cold tea out there and some vol-au-vents from yesterday. 222 00:19:29,011 --> 00:19:31,076 - Go on, you can have them. - Cheers son! 223 00:19:35,822 --> 00:19:37,168 What are you doing, winding him up? 224 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,907 Yeah, yeah, I'm winding him up aren't I. I'm winding him up! 225 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:45,691 Del, he only wants to stay for a couple of nights, and get himself sorted out! 226 00:19:45,889 --> 00:19:47,766 - He's a Trotter Rodney. - We're Trotters! 227 00:19:47,957 --> 00:19:51,213 Yes I know, but we take after Mum in nature. He's from Dad's side of the family! 228 00:19:51,446 --> 00:19:54,876 You know what they're like. You offer 'em a cup of tea and they think you've adopted 'em. 229 00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:57,970 Look at that time when Dad came round here he wanted to stay 'one' night! 230 00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:00,426 - Took us nigh on a fortnight to get rid of him! 231 00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:08,793 - Uncle Albert might not be like that! 232 00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:10,475 Oh leave it out Rodney! 233 00:20:10,768 --> 00:20:12,713 You've heard him yourself when he was telling us about that time 234 00:20:12,854 --> 00:20:16,753 he came round the Cape of Good Hope, he was three months on the same wave! 235 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:24,882 I don't believe you Del, I do not believe that you of all people, could! 236 00:20:27,638 --> 00:20:28,721 Where do you think you're going? 237 00:20:28,909 --> 00:20:32,300 I'm going down the caff, I'm gonna get some grub and some better company! 238 00:20:37,682 --> 00:20:39,503 I'm gonna put some clothes on first! 239 00:21:07,411 --> 00:21:08,701 You've changed Del! 240 00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:11,118 Yeah, well it's about time you did, come on, we've got to go down the market later on. 241 00:21:11,406 --> 00:21:15,778 I mean your personality has changed! I've seen a side of you I never knew existed! 242 00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,571 You don't understand Rodney! 243 00:21:19,772 --> 00:21:21,071 You're right about that Del! 244 00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:24,817 I mean, look at you last night, you was laughing you was drinking, 245 00:21:25,390 --> 00:21:29,351 I mean, why didn't you just put yer Money M record on Del, we could have had a good old knees up! 246 00:21:31,128 --> 00:21:36,645 It was Grandad's...How could you get over it so easily? 247 00:21:37,862 --> 00:21:50,271 Get over it? What a plonker you really are Rodney. Get over it. I ain't even started yet!!! Ain't even started bruv! 248 00:21:50,832 --> 00:21:54,560 And d'you know why? Because I don't know how to!!! 249 00:21:54,961 --> 00:22:01,016 That's why I've survived all my life with a smile and a prayer! I'm Del Boy ain't I! 250 00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:06,717 Good old Del Boy - he's got more bounce than Zebedee! 'Ere you are pal, hat you drinking? Go on! 251 00:22:06,936 --> 00:22:11,939 Hello darling, you have one for luck!!' That's me, that's Del Boy innit? Nothing ever upsets Del Boy. 252 00:22:13,641 --> 00:22:15,243 I've always played the tough guy! 253 00:22:15,454 --> 00:22:23,898 I didn't want to, but I had to and I've played it for so long now, I don't know how to be anything else! 254 00:22:26,624 --> 00:22:34,659 I don't even know how to...Oh it don't matter! Bloody family! 255 00:22:34,848 --> 00:22:37,531 I've finished with 'em! What do they do to you, eh? 256 00:22:39,106 --> 00:22:48,742 They hold you back, drag you down, and then they break yer bloody heart! 257 00:22:53,291 --> 00:22:54,694 I'm sorry. 258 00:23:15,864 --> 00:23:18,702 - Alright there, alright. Hello darling. - I'll be over there. 259 00:23:18,894 --> 00:23:21,923 Okay, alright. Alright pal, what you drinking? Give him one. 260 00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:25,586 I'll have a Malibu and tonic with some lime and 'alf of lager, please darling. 261 00:23:26,098 --> 00:23:30,818 - In the same glass? - No, in separate ones if you don't mind! 262 00:23:31,225 --> 00:23:35,069 Well I don't know do I, it might have been one of your erotic cocktails, Del. 263 00:23:36,405 --> 00:23:38,391 Saucy little cow that one, ain’t she, eh? 264 00:23:39,179 --> 00:23:41,011 - Alright Del? - Yeah, brill! Triffic. How's things? 265 00:23:41,257 --> 00:23:42,326 Oh you know, quiet. 266 00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:46,006 Here, you know that old boy that was at the funeral, him with the beard? 267 00:23:46,339 --> 00:23:49,654 - He was in here lunchtime. - Oh yeah? 268 00:23:49,906 --> 00:23:51,258 What is he? A relative or something? 269 00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:53,501 Nah - well yeah, I mean, he's a distant relative, yeah. 270 00:23:53,897 --> 00:23:58,259 We was telling me all about his wartime dramas. Torpedoed five time, dive-bombed twice. 271 00:23:58,501 --> 00:23:59,673 He's a bit of a jinx ain't he? 272 00:23:59,946 --> 00:24:01,499 Yeah. You know what his last job was don't you? 273 00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:09,506 He was entertainments officer on the Belgrano. Straight up. Cheers darling. 274 00:24:09,736 --> 00:24:11,836 - One pound eighty please. - Alright, there you go. Go on. Have one for luck. 275 00:24:13,208 --> 00:24:15,184 Oh that reminds me Del, about all that booze yesterday? 276 00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:18,873 Yeah, what about it! Went down a treat didn't it? See you later Mike. 277 00:24:24,305 --> 00:24:25,867 - I wonder where he is? - Eh, who? 278 00:24:26,594 --> 00:24:27,614 Uncle Albert! 279 00:24:27,814 --> 00:24:31,945 Oh him, oh, well he's down the seaman's by now ain't he, eh, got himself a lovely bed, 280 00:24:32,125 --> 00:24:36,817 blinding little locker - yeah, he's as happy as a pig in sugar! He is yeah. 281 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,447 Yeah I suppose so but...makes you think don't it? 282 00:24:41,641 --> 00:24:45,931 A man fights for his country like that, you know, laying his life on the line. 283 00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:49,570 D'you know he went down with five different ships! 284 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,944 Yeah! I know, I don't know why he just didn't join the submarine corps in the first place. 285 00:25:08,577 --> 00:25:11,625 - He's got a nasty cough! Ain't he? - Yeah, pity Boots ain't open innit! 286 00:25:19,469 --> 00:25:21,970 - You alright Unc? - Yeah, fine son, ta. 287 00:25:22,333 --> 00:25:23,940 Yeah good. Did you go down the mission then? 288 00:25:24,210 --> 00:25:26,281 Yeah I went down there, but it ain't there no more! 289 00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:30,987 They knocked it down, built some luxury flats and a marina! 290 00:25:33,969 --> 00:25:35,905 Look, I ain't got very much... I've got what... 291 00:25:36,991 --> 00:25:42,601 Put yer money away Rodney, I don't want it! Thanks for the offer though. 292 00:25:43,364 --> 00:25:49,574 Go 'n, you get back to Del. Don't you worry about me. Alright? Don't worry! 293 00:26:01,218 --> 00:26:05,533 It's alright Rodney, nothing to worry about! It's just me lungs. 294 00:26:07,962 --> 00:26:15,508 We hit a mine coming back from Normandy. I was trapped for 12 hours in a smoke-filled engine room. 295 00:26:17,182 --> 00:26:20,138 Well, if it's not one thing it's the other, eh? 296 00:26:25,181 --> 00:26:26,908 He ain't got nowhere to sleep tonight! 297 00:26:27,725 --> 00:26:31,060 He went down the mission, it's not there any more - there's just a marina. 298 00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:33,492 Well can't he kip in the back of that? 299 00:26:37,783 --> 00:26:44,621 A yachting marina! Come on Del - that's Grandad's brother sitting over there. 300 00:26:44,841 --> 00:26:46,537 Where do you want him to sleep, eh? A dosshouse? 301 00:26:46,849 --> 00:26:50,597 Listen Rodney, that bloke has been in shark-infested seas, right, 302 00:26:50,821 --> 00:26:55,169 he's been attacked by kamikaze pilots, and blown up more times than a beach-ball! 303 00:26:56,511 --> 00:26:58,895 One night in a dosshouse ain't gonna do him any harm, is it? 304 00:27:00,639 --> 00:27:07,851 - You don't believe all them stories do you? - What? Do you reckon they're porkies? 305 00:27:10,528 --> 00:27:16,153 Well of course they are! I didn't wanna say nothing 'cos, you know, he's a proud man! 306 00:27:16,451 --> 00:27:19,243 What proud? Him? He comes from Dad's side of the family doesn't he? 307 00:27:19,587 --> 00:27:22,267 No, I just offered him a couple of quid and he wouldn't take a penny! 308 00:27:22,795 --> 00:27:26,253 No, well, he wouldn't would he, he's still got the hundred quid I gave him this afternoon! 309 00:27:27,775 --> 00:27:31,965 - You gave him a hundred pounds? - Yeah! You don't think I'd let him go potless do yer? 310 00:27:33,153 --> 00:27:34,764 Is that why you can't pay Mike for the booze? 311 00:27:35,674 --> 00:27:38,169 Oh come on, come on. 312 00:27:42,487 --> 00:27:43,623 Alright? 313 00:27:44,323 --> 00:27:49,048 Yeah, alright son. Just having a drop of rum, warm the old cockles. 314 00:27:50,467 --> 00:27:52,659 - You eaten? - Na, not yet. 315 00:27:53,628 --> 00:27:56,374 Then why didn't you have something to eat when you was in here at lunchtime? 316 00:27:56,726 --> 00:27:59,887 Well, all they had left was sausage and mash and I've gone right off that! 317 00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:06,455 - You fancy an Indian? - Wouldn't mind son! 318 00:28:07,223 --> 00:28:09,668 We'd never get a table this time of night, Del. 319 00:28:10,830 --> 00:28:13,764 No. We'll have to get a takeaway, and eat it at home! 320 00:28:15,644 --> 00:28:19,691 Yes, that's what we'll do, we'll get a take-away and eat it at home...Eh? 321 00:28:20,619 --> 00:28:24,922 It it's alright with you two Del. Thanks. 322 00:28:25,536 --> 00:28:28,764 Don't know what you're thanking me for, you're paying! 323 00:28:31,422 --> 00:28:34,374 Come on Sinbad, let's get down there before the health inspector! 324 00:28:40,826 --> 00:28:42,508 Oh, I'm glad I caught you. 325 00:28:42,701 --> 00:28:44,868 I've just phoned the mission and they said they've got a bed for you. 326 00:28:49,957 --> 00:28:54,466 Subtitles by NVL