1
00:00:32,247 --> 00:00:34,886
G--Granville, f--f--fetch a cloth.
2
00:00:35,047 --> 00:00:37,925
The swallows are leaving, Granville,
3
00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:42,205
and they're leaving it all over
our window. Get it off.
4
00:01:14,287 --> 00:01:17,563
There she goes, Granville.
N--Nurse Gladys Emmanuel.
5
00:01:17,727 --> 00:01:22,482
With her black bag neatly laundered
and her b--blouse tightly packed!
6
00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:25,559
Rushing away to someone's bedside.
7
00:01:25,727 --> 00:01:28,161
One day, with luck, it might be mine!
8
00:01:28,327 --> 00:01:30,841
Let's hope not, she's a midwife!
9
00:01:32,487 --> 00:01:34,045
Come on.
10
00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:40,684
Sshh! Listen!
11
00:01:47,887 --> 00:01:49,878
(FRANTIC BANGING )
12
00:01:55,087 --> 00:01:58,079
I'll--I'll k--kill
that f--flaming mouse!
13
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:04,683
If he can move like that, why hasn't
he got a number on his jersey?
14
00:02:05,847 --> 00:02:08,919
-- He's faster than you are.
-- I know that, don't I?
15
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,966
But it's no good waiting for
a cheese--eating tortoise, is it?!
16
00:02:13,127 --> 00:02:16,244
Come on, help me
get these tins picked up.
17
00:02:16,407 --> 00:02:20,958
Do you realise it's 6.30 and there's
some silly fool still in bed?
18
00:02:21,127 --> 00:02:22,924
I bet you can't believe it,
19
00:02:23,087 --> 00:02:26,841
when they could be having a ball
with these old tins (!)
20
00:02:27,007 --> 00:02:29,965
Listen, Granville, remember,
as my nephew,
21
00:02:30,127 --> 00:02:33,164
all these old tins
will be yours when I'm gone.
22
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:36,717
Ah, yes, but will I be able
to withstand the notoriety?
23
00:02:36,887 --> 00:02:40,323
They'll be nudging each other
when I walk down the street.
24
00:02:40,487 --> 00:02:43,285
They'll say, "Hey up, you see him?
25
00:02:43,447 --> 00:02:47,042
"You wouldn't believe it to look at him,
but he's rolling in old tins!"
26
00:02:47,207 --> 00:02:49,198
There's no label on these tins.
27
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:53,599
We don't know that.
They--They might be on the inside.
28
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:57,722
I like that. That is ingenious.
29
00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:02,039
Well, it'd stop them finishing up
like this, wi' no labels on 'em.
30
00:03:02,207 --> 00:03:05,597
This is all that fire--damaged stock,
isn't it?
31
00:03:05,767 --> 00:03:07,564
The p--price was right!
32
00:03:07,727 --> 00:03:10,639
How do you know
if you don't know what's in 'em?
33
00:03:10,807 --> 00:03:13,719
Because my hand
automatically s--started to bid.
34
00:03:13,887 --> 00:03:16,321
I've got a flair for this work,
you know.
35
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,320
When I'm on the threshold
of a reasonable profit,
36
00:03:19,487 --> 00:03:21,682
a r--razor sharp instinct takes over.
37
00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:26,125
I'm under the control of something
powerful b--but primitive.
38
00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:28,039
Like a VAT inspector.
39
00:03:28,727 --> 00:03:30,046
I wonder what's in 'em.
40
00:03:30,207 --> 00:03:34,041
That's the beauty of it,
they're full of mysterious promise.
41
00:03:34,207 --> 00:03:37,563
They're a bit like Gladys Emmanuel's
blouse, them.
42
00:03:39,207 --> 00:03:41,846
Only a damn sight easier to open!
43
00:03:42,887 --> 00:03:46,880
Don't you worry about what's in them.
Let me worry about that.
44
00:03:47,047 --> 00:03:51,040
I haven't been in this trade
all my life without developing an ear.
45
00:03:56,047 --> 00:03:58,163
M--Mulligatawny and Leek.
46
00:04:10,727 --> 00:04:12,638
(CLICK OF STILETTOS)
47
00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:16,846
Morning, Granville.
48
00:04:18,727 --> 00:04:20,206
Morning, Gloria.
49
00:04:44,087 --> 00:04:46,078
F--F--Fetch your cloth.
50
00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:53,880
During the war, Herbert Ogden spent
a wh--wh--whole week's wages
51
00:04:54,047 --> 00:04:56,322
on a land girl
with a wiggle like that.
52
00:04:56,487 --> 00:04:58,478
-- Aye?
-- From Darlington.
53
00:04:58,647 --> 00:05:03,277
All he got was a t--tip on what to do
with his broccoli!
54
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,317
Hey up, she's back.
55
00:05:07,487 --> 00:05:11,162
I'll just wander--wander
over casually.
56
00:05:16,687 --> 00:05:21,966
You were out early, Gladys Emmanuel,
fresh from your l--lonely warm bed.
57
00:05:22,127 --> 00:05:23,480
I never said it was lonely.
58
00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:26,923
Don't you ever make a wish
that you'll wake up one morning
59
00:05:27,087 --> 00:05:29,806
and find a handsome
l--local shopkeeper in it?
60
00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:31,719
No.
61
00:05:31,887 --> 00:05:36,642
Time's passing us by, you know.
It's no longer springtime.
62
00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:39,318
Why don't we get engaged...
63
00:05:39,487 --> 00:05:41,682
before we've both got a moustache?
64
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:48,916
While I can look at your legs
without thinking of orthopaedic shoes.
65
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:53,877
Come on, let's strike
while the iron's still lukewarm!
66
00:05:56,287 --> 00:06:00,724
I can't get engaged right now. I've got to go
to Charnley Street and have a baby!
67
00:06:03,487 --> 00:06:07,400
Why don't you come over one night
and rub me chest with Vick?
68
00:06:08,247 --> 00:06:12,240
To tell you the truth, I've been
thinking a lot about us two lately.
69
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:16,759
Not the same as actually doing it,
though, is it?
70
00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:24,399
I don't know why some folks say,
"Let the Devil take the hindmost".
71
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:27,718
As far as I'm concerned,
he can get in the queue!
72
00:06:29,647 --> 00:06:32,081
How can I be sure
you really fancy me?
73
00:06:32,247 --> 00:06:36,957
That you're not just trying to stop
my order going to the supermarket?
74
00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:39,846
I want you to marry me,
Gladys Emmanuel!
75
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:45,206
No one appreciates your shape like
a member of the Grocer's Federation.
76
00:06:46,047 --> 00:06:50,086
I wonder what it would look like
with a bit of parsley round it.
77
00:06:51,247 --> 00:06:53,442
You'll stop at nothing, will you?
78
00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:55,759
You shower me with gifts!
79
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:02,638
Last time it was half a pound
of butter way past its expiry date!
80
00:07:13,127 --> 00:07:15,038
We were meant for each other!
81
00:07:15,207 --> 00:07:19,837
A man with a st--stutter
needs a big target to make love to.
82
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,962
What a golden tongue he's got (!)
83
00:07:23,407 --> 00:07:27,525
Who cleans the nipples on your
windscreen washers for you?
84
00:07:27,687 --> 00:07:30,759
I do! Me. Devoted Arkwright!
85
00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:34,522
Have you no words of encouragement
for me at all?
86
00:07:35,727 --> 00:07:40,437
Save me a small brown loaf, unsliced,
and two large teacakes.
87
00:07:40,607 --> 00:07:44,998
-- I've got one reservation.
-- Oh, have you? What's that?
88
00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:48,682
You'll have to promise to wear
summat more playful than them!
89
00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:53,765
Get off, you cheeky thing!
They're me mother's!
90
00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:04,797
Yes... She showed me
the baby last week.
91
00:08:04,967 --> 00:08:07,197
I don't think it's his.
92
00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:10,518
It looks more like
him that comes to read the meter.
93
00:08:10,687 --> 00:08:14,726
Well, they're in some
very awkward places, them meters.
94
00:08:14,887 --> 00:08:17,242
He knows his way around.
95
00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:19,921
I'm sure.
Oh, that reminds me, Mrs Blewitt,
96
00:08:20,087 --> 00:08:23,762
we've got some v--very good value
in tinned food.
97
00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:25,918
-- What is it?
-- This one is...
98
00:08:26,087 --> 00:08:29,682
(GRANVILLE LAUGHS)
..very good value, Mrs Blewitt!
99
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:33,522
It's no use to me. I'm not
looking for things I can keep.
100
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:37,396
Just as well, with your husband
p--popping off quickly like he did.
101
00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:42,197
We never know when we'll be taken
or whither is our destination.
102
00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:47,316
I'd have thought he'd have an idea,
him being a ch--charabanc driver!
103
00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:51,400
I've seen them taken
in their fullness and their prime!
104
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:54,320
I know. One minute
they're on top of the world,
105
00:08:54,487 --> 00:08:57,126
the next, there's this awful figure
in black
106
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,926
b--beckoning them
towards a breathalyser.
107
00:09:01,127 --> 00:09:04,278
Did you know they buried
Old Scrooger last Tuesday?
108
00:09:04,447 --> 00:09:07,041
Old Sc...Old Sc...Old Sc... Did they?
109
00:09:07,207 --> 00:09:09,198
I didn't know he died.
110
00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:16,125
Neither did she! He sat there on the settee
for three hours staring at her!
111
00:09:17,527 --> 00:09:20,519
He never was very talkative, though,
was he?
112
00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:25,522
I once ran over him on the shop bike,
across his foot. Never said a word.
113
00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:27,917
He just hit me with his crutch.
114
00:09:29,447 --> 00:09:33,440
It wasn't my fault, I turned a corner
and there he was, strangling a kid.
115
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:37,316
He always knew
how to command respect in the young.
116
00:09:37,487 --> 00:09:41,036
And he looks like death
across at Number 29.
117
00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:45,883
They come at 9.00 on Thursday night
with an ambulance and took him away.
118
00:09:46,047 --> 00:09:51,121
They're expecting him back,
but I told her, "He looks yellow to me".
119
00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:55,565
That means kidneys. I wouldn't
give you tuppence for his kidneys.
120
00:09:55,727 --> 00:09:58,036
How much is your boiled ham?
121
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:03,359
Well, it's a...it's a bit more
expensive than his kidneys!
122
00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:07,918
But it's choice stuff. They'll never
take that away in an ambulance!
123
00:10:08,087 --> 00:10:11,477
-- I'll have a quarter.
-- I think you'll enjoy it.
124
00:10:11,647 --> 00:10:13,638
Aye, I expect so.
125
00:10:13,807 --> 00:10:16,799
'Ey, and speaking
of a bit of choice stuff...
126
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,640
..have you seen her round at 87 lately?
127
00:10:19,807 --> 00:10:21,525
87? W...
128
00:10:24,087 --> 00:10:26,521
Isn't she the one with the...er...?
129
00:10:26,687 --> 00:10:28,564
That's the one, yes.
130
00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:32,242
-- How is that new lodger?
-- Not as fit as she is!
131
00:10:32,407 --> 00:10:35,319
I wonder how the husband's taking it.
132
00:10:35,487 --> 00:10:38,479
V--Very infrequently,
by the sound of it!
133
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,725
(CLEARS THROAT)
134
00:10:43,047 --> 00:10:47,518
Her at 85 has heard them
playing Scrabble till gone midnight!
135
00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:50,804
Oh, dear, well,
no good will come of that!
136
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:55,324
That sort of thing's bound to end up
in a f--f--four--letter word!
137
00:10:55,487 --> 00:10:59,241
I mean, have you ever known her
interested in spelling?
138
00:10:59,407 --> 00:11:04,765
When she sent me that vicious letter,
she spelt "nosy old bag" with a "z"!
139
00:11:04,927 --> 00:11:06,918
She never did! ..Hey!
140
00:11:08,007 --> 00:11:12,000
Would you mind not stocktaking
through my legs, please?
141
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:16,642
Wasn't there anything else,
Mrs Blewitt?
142
00:11:16,807 --> 00:11:19,924
Aye, there was a lot, but nothing
I could repeat to you!
143
00:11:20,087 --> 00:11:22,647
I see. Well, that'll be 97p, love.
144
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:27,005
Thank you. Oh, don't bother
about the 3p, you can owe it me.
145
00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:28,998
Oh, right.
146
00:11:33,207 --> 00:11:37,564
Get that in the till quick
before she realises she's been done!
147
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:52,840
I wish you'd put it in. You know
I'm terrified of that spring clip!
148
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,237
So much for T--Teach Yourself Kung Fu!
149
00:11:57,407 --> 00:11:59,796
98 weekly parts (!)
150
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:03,960
If you ask me, you've got more weakly
parts now than when you started!
151
00:12:06,607 --> 00:12:09,360
Who was that raver Mrs Blewitt
was on about? Number 87?
152
00:12:09,527 --> 00:12:12,644
I don't want you thinking
about Number 87!
153
00:12:12,807 --> 00:12:15,367
You keep right away from Number 87!
154
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:19,964
I've seen negroes going in there
and coming out looking quite pale.
155
00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:25,557
I mean, her mother was just the same.
156
00:12:25,727 --> 00:12:30,323
During the war, I had to admonish her
when I was an air raid warden.
157
00:12:30,487 --> 00:12:33,877
She was showing a couple of chinks
in her upper storey!
158
00:12:34,047 --> 00:12:38,359
During the war, ordinary people
went ga--ga--ga--gaga!
159
00:12:39,287 --> 00:12:42,245
Wish I had a bit of frenzy in my life.
160
00:12:42,407 --> 00:12:46,241
Maybe you'll get that m--mouse
up your trouser leg!
161
00:12:46,887 --> 00:12:49,447
Think I'll ever find the time
to get married?
162
00:12:49,607 --> 00:12:53,361
Why bother, eh? Why bother?
Your father never did!
163
00:12:58,247 --> 00:13:00,602
Mother said he died in an accident.
164
00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:04,916
I think he just used that
as an excuse.
165
00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:09,725
Gimme that pound note. Let's get it
in the till before it fades!
166
00:13:16,287 --> 00:13:19,757
That reminds me,
Jaws is on this week at the Odeon.
167
00:13:20,727 --> 00:13:22,843
How do, Granville?
168
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,438
How do, Gloria!
169
00:13:31,087 --> 00:13:35,239
G--Granville, fetch your cloth
and wipe that smile off your face!
170
00:13:42,807 --> 00:13:44,445
You don't know you're born!
171
00:13:44,607 --> 00:13:47,440
Don't know much
about what causes it, either!
172
00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:51,845
Do you know that things
were so hard in my day
173
00:13:52,007 --> 00:13:55,886
that people from Bradford used to go
looking for work in Pakistan!
174
00:13:58,887 --> 00:14:02,277
What is the point of being
on the threshold of life,
175
00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:04,915
if you've always
got to wear a pinny?!
176
00:14:05,087 --> 00:14:07,555
Kids should have less pocket money.
177
00:14:07,727 --> 00:14:11,436
If I could lure them in more often,
they would have!
178
00:14:11,607 --> 00:14:16,522
Look at that Gloria. She's got no idea
what I look like in trousers.
179
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:20,559
I've never had things
other young men take for granted.
180
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:23,116
You'd better not have have had!
181
00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:27,280
If I c--catch you ever having
have had, you will be in trouble!
182
00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:30,280
You don't realise
it's a g--grave responsibility
183
00:14:30,447 --> 00:14:33,803
having a nephew
who g--gets emotionally knotted!
184
00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:36,197
-- What about you and the nurse?
-- Oh, yes.
185
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:39,803
If I don't marry her soon, I'll have
to buy a new electric blanket!
186
00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:42,527
(BELL RINGS)
'Ey up, seconds out!
187
00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,678
The usual, Mr Bristow?
188
00:14:55,767 --> 00:14:58,565
THE USUAL, MR BRISTOW?
189
00:15:00,927 --> 00:15:02,758
-- Oh!
-- Oh!
190
00:15:03,287 --> 00:15:05,596
I'm sorry,
l--I didn't see you come in!
191
00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:07,758
What do you want? The usual?
192
00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:11,077
I'll have the usual!
193
00:15:11,247 --> 00:15:15,843
That's unusual! You u--usually have
something different, don't you?
194
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:19,558
Right...one dozen.
195
00:15:37,727 --> 00:15:41,242
Wouldn't it be easier
if you opened an account?
196
00:15:43,687 --> 00:15:46,565
(GRUNTS WITH EFFORT)
197
00:15:58,527 --> 00:16:02,759
When Wales get home rule,
think they'll nationalise Clive Jenkins?
198
00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:13,764
Oh! Oh, found one!
199
00:16:13,927 --> 00:16:15,804
One of the old ones, in't it?
200
00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:18,046
Right.
201
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,045
There we are, then.
202
00:16:31,447 --> 00:16:33,085
Lovely. There you go.
203
00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:37,399
Don't go out without your helmet
done up, you'll lose your head!
204
00:16:37,567 --> 00:16:39,319
(MOANS IN PAIN )
205
00:16:39,487 --> 00:16:41,318
-- There you are.
-- Ny glugs!
206
00:16:41,487 --> 00:16:43,557
-- My glugs!
-- Bless you.
207
00:16:43,727 --> 00:16:45,126
Oh, I see, yes!
208
00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:49,801
Let go of them! Oh, I've got
your strap done up too tight.
209
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:53,435
There you are. Bye--bye.
210
00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:00,719
Well, who was it?
211
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:04,163
Ruddy Apollo III,
the plastic astronaut!
212
00:17:05,327 --> 00:17:08,125
Oh, that's Mr Bri--i--i--istow!
213
00:17:08,287 --> 00:17:10,847
Yes, Mr B--B--B--B--Bristow, yes.
214
00:17:12,527 --> 00:17:14,757
Hey, haven't you got
that tin open yet?
215
00:17:14,927 --> 00:17:16,246
No.
216
00:17:18,487 --> 00:17:20,796
Why don't you j--j--jiggle it a bit?!
217
00:17:25,887 --> 00:17:27,878
Are you sure you know what's in this?
218
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,039
I've told you,
it's beefy chunks in gravy.
219
00:17:45,207 --> 00:17:47,323
Beefy chunks in gravy.
220
00:17:54,927 --> 00:17:57,521
Lucky I did some diced carrots
to go with it!
221
00:18:02,847 --> 00:18:05,281
What's for pudding?
Cheese and biscuits?
222
00:18:15,047 --> 00:18:17,356
85 Lindley Road.
223
00:18:17,527 --> 00:18:21,122
That's 88...89...87...
224
00:18:21,287 --> 00:18:22,720
87I
225
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,999
87I
226
00:18:28,487 --> 00:18:30,796
I'll bet it's all a legend.
227
00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:34,001
I'll bet she's not really like that.
228
00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:38,206
I'll bet if I walk through this gate
with half a pound of streaky bacon
229
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,562
pretending I'd mistaken it
for Number 85,
230
00:18:40,727 --> 00:18:46,006
I'd be no nearer understanding the forces
governing the human predicament.
231
00:19:11,007 --> 00:19:15,398
Oh, dear, w--wounded again, Winston?
What's she got you doing now?
232
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:17,956
I'm building
another blinking bookcase!
233
00:19:18,127 --> 00:19:22,120
It's a wonderful m--mind--broadening
thing, your second marriage.
234
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:25,882
-- Want a large or a small?
-- I'd better have a large.
235
00:19:26,047 --> 00:19:30,325
A big bookshelf, is it?
Let's have your finger. Come on.
236
00:19:30,487 --> 00:19:34,878
Oh, dear. It's a good job it's n--not
your drinking hand, isn't it?
237
00:19:35,047 --> 00:19:39,086
You must be joking! What practice
does that get these days?
238
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:44,879
When I say I fancy a drink, she says,
"Oh, good, now you'll build a cocktail cabinet".
239
00:19:45,047 --> 00:19:48,005
Have you told her
y--you're a mechanical idiot?
240
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:51,637
She won't listen. Know what she
wanted me to do on our honeymoon?
241
00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:54,640
You're not supposed to give away
cabinet secrets!
242
00:19:54,807 --> 00:19:56,718
She wanted me to prove my love
243
00:19:56,887 --> 00:20:00,243
by redoing the bathroom
in self--adhesive tiles!
244
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:05,162
Self--adhesive! I was up until 2.00
trying to let go of her nightie!
245
00:20:07,687 --> 00:20:11,316
Oh, dear! Hang on,
you know what you want, don't you?
246
00:20:11,487 --> 00:20:14,763
You want a medicinal bottle.
Could you use one?
247
00:20:14,927 --> 00:20:18,283
There, have a go at that.
You'll like that.
248
00:20:18,447 --> 00:20:20,324
-- Cheers.
-- Cheers.
249
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:23,320
-- How are you doing with the nurse?
-- I'm progressing.
250
00:20:23,487 --> 00:20:27,366
There--there was a time when
she didn't even bother to ignore me,
251
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:31,600
but only this morning, there she was,
hitting me with a clothes prop.
252
00:20:47,407 --> 00:20:51,082
-- I've had a bit of an accident.
-- You what?!
253
00:20:51,247 --> 00:20:54,000
-- I've dented me front spindle!
-- That's a relief.
254
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:57,239
I th...I thought
you'd damaged the bike!
255
00:21:00,447 --> 00:21:03,678
-- What happened?
-- Oh, I fell in Lindley Road.
256
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:06,315
You wouldn't be the first to do that!
257
00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:09,047
Hey, I hope you haven't been near 87!
258
00:21:09,207 --> 00:21:13,598
-- I was just delivering the goods!
-- That's what I'm afraid of!
259
00:21:13,767 --> 00:21:15,723
What do you want for the plaster?
260
00:21:15,887 --> 00:21:18,321
-- 4p.
-- See you. Thanks for the drink.
261
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:21,320
That's another 14 for the drink, aye.
262
00:21:21,487 --> 00:21:23,205
You said, "Have a drink"!
263
00:21:23,807 --> 00:21:25,399
Thank you.
264
00:21:27,087 --> 00:21:29,840
Hey, there's threepence
on that bottle!
265
00:21:35,207 --> 00:21:37,926
W--W--What were you doing?
266
00:21:38,087 --> 00:21:39,998
About five miles an hour!
267
00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:42,681
No, on my proper side of the road
and...
268
00:21:42,847 --> 00:21:46,317
some silly idiot had parked
a van right in the gutter.
269
00:21:46,487 --> 00:21:49,684
What a stupid place to leave it,
in the gutter (!)
270
00:21:49,847 --> 00:21:52,236
Hey, there's lipstick on you!
271
00:21:52,407 --> 00:21:55,160
-- You've been to 87, haven't you?!
-- No.
272
00:21:55,327 --> 00:21:57,318
Wipe it off at once!
(BELL)
273
00:22:03,807 --> 00:22:05,877
-- There, how's that?
-- Lovely, yeah.
274
00:22:06,047 --> 00:22:08,038
-- Here, what are you doing?!
-- Sshh!
275
00:22:08,207 --> 00:22:10,596
-- Keep quiet.
-- Have you gone mad?!
276
00:22:10,767 --> 00:22:14,237
Listen, you're a pawn
in my dastardly game! Sit there.
277
00:22:14,407 --> 00:22:16,716
I've just got to find her.
278
00:22:16,887 --> 00:22:21,005
Oh, I'm glad to see you.
I'm very w--worried about the lad!
279
00:22:21,167 --> 00:22:23,158
-- He's come off his bike.
-- What?
280
00:22:23,327 --> 00:22:25,124
Come through the back, love.
281
00:22:25,287 --> 00:22:27,562
You're not asking me
under false pretences?
282
00:22:27,727 --> 00:22:30,116
Now, as if I would! Come on.
283
00:22:30,287 --> 00:22:32,517
-- Concussion, I think.
-- There's nothin...
284
00:22:32,687 --> 00:22:35,759
See, listen,
he's gone all incoherent!
285
00:22:35,927 --> 00:22:40,921
-- Look at his leg.
-- He can't have concussion there!
286
00:22:41,087 --> 00:22:44,875
-- I told you, there's noth...
-- Bite on that for the pain!
287
00:22:46,247 --> 00:22:48,556
He's hardly even grazed!
288
00:22:48,727 --> 00:22:50,285
His legs look pale.
289
00:22:50,447 --> 00:22:54,838
I should think so! The only time
I go out is to make a delivery!
290
00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:57,601
As a midwife, I do know how you feel.
291
00:22:57,767 --> 00:23:00,998
Get a soak in the bath, love,
you'll be all right.
292
00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:05,365
Don't stroke him! I hope you haven't
come here t--to maul him about?
293
00:23:05,527 --> 00:23:09,520
I've come for me loaf and teacakes.
He's all right.
294
00:23:09,687 --> 00:23:13,805
You look a bit flushed, though.
You should be careful at your age.
295
00:23:13,967 --> 00:23:16,720
You've been going through the change,
haven't you?
296
00:23:18,367 --> 00:23:20,358
In the till, I mean!
297
00:23:21,887 --> 00:23:25,038
No, to be honest,
it's the top of me leg.
298
00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:27,641
I wish you'd have a look
at the top of my leg!
299
00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:29,445
I'll do no such thing!
300
00:23:29,607 --> 00:23:32,121
I'll tell you what.
I'll look at yours, then.
301
00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:36,041
I've got me rounds to make.
He's perfectly all right.
302
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:40,564
But if you're really worried about him,
give him 24 hours complete rest!
303
00:23:40,727 --> 00:23:43,116
A day in bed, what bliss!
304
00:23:43,287 --> 00:23:46,165
Granville, tucked up all day!
(BELL)
305
00:23:46,327 --> 00:23:48,318
Are you deaf? Answer that bell.
306
00:23:48,487 --> 00:23:51,320
Blimey, talk about the shortest day!
307
00:23:51,487 --> 00:23:55,400
Talking of a day in bed,
why don't you come over on Sunday
308
00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:58,320
and practise
your splints and bandages?
309
00:23:58,487 --> 00:24:00,603
I'll tell you what I'll do...
310
00:24:00,767 --> 00:24:05,283
I'll give you some cooling powders.
Take two in a bath of cold water!
311
00:24:05,887 --> 00:24:07,798
I had enough cooling powders
312
00:24:07,967 --> 00:24:11,243
when I saw what was hanging
on your clothesline!
313
00:24:11,407 --> 00:24:14,319
Come on, I demand
the plain unvarnished truth
314
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:17,638
about your plain
unvarnished underwear!
315
00:24:17,807 --> 00:24:20,719
-- Get away from me.
-- Just a little peek?
316
00:24:20,887 --> 00:24:25,358
I promise to stand well back
if you'll reveal the merest corner.
317
00:24:25,527 --> 00:24:29,281
In an atmosphere
of mutual frankness and trust.
318
00:24:29,447 --> 00:24:31,358
-- Get off!
-- No! Ow!
319
00:24:51,567 --> 00:24:56,038
If she's National Health,
I'm entitled to a piece of her.
320
00:24:57,447 --> 00:25:00,325
I reckon we--we--we could
make a go of it,
321
00:25:00,487 --> 00:25:03,399
once she stops
hitting me in the groin.
322
00:25:03,567 --> 00:25:07,321
Ooh, what's that little lacy thing
she's ironing?
323
00:25:07,487 --> 00:25:09,921
Surely she doesn't wear that
on her b--b--b--b...
324
00:25:10,087 --> 00:25:12,555
on her b--bingo nightl
325
00:25:13,487 --> 00:25:15,682
Oh, no, I spoke too soon,
326
00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:18,077
she's just b--blown her nose on itl
327
00:25:20,847 --> 00:25:22,644
We ought to have a van.
328
00:25:22,807 --> 00:25:26,482
Watch your mouth! I didn't bring you
up to be an atheist about money!
329
00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:31,558
What time are we closing?
I'm meeting Gloria!
330
00:25:31,727 --> 00:25:33,718
Pleasure mad, aren't you, eh?
331
00:25:33,887 --> 00:25:37,516
Don't just stand there, grab this,
as they say at 87!
332
00:25:40,327 --> 00:25:44,320
-- Now what?
-- When I say, j--j--jiggle it a bit.
333
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:48,722
That's just the point. When the time
came for me to jiggle it a bit,
334
00:25:48,887 --> 00:25:51,117
I found I hadn't had
enough experience!
335
00:25:59,647 --> 00:26:03,526
I think more people
should ride bicycles, Granville.
336
00:26:10,567 --> 00:26:13,923
In my young day,
district nurses rode bicycles!
337
00:26:14,087 --> 00:26:17,716
Then there was no argument
about w--what they were wearing!
338
00:26:26,007 --> 00:26:27,326
(CRASH )
339
00:26:32,647 --> 00:26:36,560
Granville, suddenly the world
is a brighter place,
340
00:26:36,727 --> 00:26:41,437
although, to the casual passer--by,
it might seem I have my leg fast!
341
00:26:41,607 --> 00:26:44,280
Why don't you just j--jiggle it a bit?
342
00:26:45,447 --> 00:26:47,438
Are you all right?!
343
00:26:49,407 --> 00:26:51,762
Bit of a jolt in the pedals.
344
00:26:52,767 --> 00:26:54,758
But much improved psychologically.
345
00:26:54,927 --> 00:26:57,361
I was overcome
by a spirit of patriotism
346
00:26:57,527 --> 00:27:00,599
when I saw that
pretty little flag you was waving!
347
00:27:04,767 --> 00:27:06,837
What it is to be mad and middle aged!
348
00:27:07,007 --> 00:27:08,998
Come indoors and let me look at you.
349
00:27:09,167 --> 00:27:11,476
Thought you'd never ask!
I'll race you!
350
00:27:20,887 --> 00:27:22,764
It's been a long day.
351
00:27:22,927 --> 00:27:26,317
Th--That's a lot of sky
to be a small shopkeeper under.
352
00:27:26,487 --> 00:27:29,285
I wonder if there's a planet up there
353
00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:33,884
with another Gladys Emmanuel on it,
saying no repeatedly.
354
00:27:34,047 --> 00:27:36,242
(BICYCLE BELL AND LAUGHTER)
355
00:27:36,407 --> 00:27:38,398
(WOMAN ) 'Night, Mr Arkwright.
356
00:27:38,567 --> 00:27:41,559
'Ey up, that's that Gloria
he's got in the carrier.
357
00:27:41,727 --> 00:27:44,116
Well, well, well, passion on pedals,
358
00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:47,120
squeals on wheelsl
359
00:27:47,287 --> 00:27:50,120
Still, it's something soft
to fall on.
360
00:27:50,287 --> 00:27:53,279
Oh, Lord, let him increase
in wisdom and experience
361
00:27:53,447 --> 00:27:56,439
without too much pain, or having
to come to me for more money.