1
00:00:23,798 --> 00:00:26,392
I want a w--w--word with you!
2
00:00:26,558 --> 00:00:28,867
That's three words, for a start!
3
00:00:30,278 --> 00:00:33,953
-- That g--girl at Grimshaw's.
-- Big Edna? Aye?
4
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:40,591
-- Have you been kn--knock--knocking...
-- Pardon? I've admired her from a distance.
5
00:00:40,758 --> 00:00:45,388
Have you been kn--kn--knocking coppers
off her weekly order? Let me finish!
6
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:48,675
Well? You do it for Mrs Featherstone.
7
00:00:49,918 --> 00:00:53,513
Not without sticking them back
somewhere else!
8
00:01:25,958 --> 00:01:29,997
-- There you are, Granville.
-- Ta. Are you still doing Open University?
9
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,557
Yes.
10
00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:36,792
Maybe I could come round
and talk about contemporary themes in literature
11
00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:39,916
and you could wear that short dress.
12
00:01:47,918 --> 00:01:52,673
I don't think you're ready yet, Granville,
for that short dress.
13
00:02:00,038 --> 00:02:03,951
How can she tell? How can she tell?
14
00:02:05,838 --> 00:02:10,354
Hey! Will you b--bring that milk in
before you c--curdle it!
15
00:02:18,478 --> 00:02:22,915
Milk is not made to stand the temperature
that errand boys operate at!
16
00:02:23,078 --> 00:02:26,627
"Errand boy"? Huh! Errand boy.
17
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,710
I'm a real success story, I am, aren't I?
18
00:02:29,878 --> 00:02:33,951
"There goes Granville. He's only been
working for his uncle since he was ten
19
00:02:34,118 --> 00:02:36,473
"and already he's an errand boy."
20
00:02:36,638 --> 00:02:41,996
You wouldn't want me to be the errand boy.
How would you feel working for an errand boy?
21
00:02:42,158 --> 00:02:45,594
I wouldn't mind
if I had some decent transport.
22
00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:52,436
Don't start! We were remarking the other day
how well you look on that sh--shop bike.
23
00:02:52,598 --> 00:02:55,908
-- Shop bike! It's clapped out.
-- That reminds me.
24
00:02:56,078 --> 00:02:59,787
-- Did we get Mrs Blewitt's bread order?
-- Cottage loaf and a bloomer.
25
00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:03,030
Yes, she certainly gives that impression!
26
00:03:04,078 --> 00:03:09,436
Any road, who's this "we" that was remarking
how well I looked on the shop bike?
27
00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:12,715
Myself and a certain lady
whose taste I admire,
28
00:03:12,878 --> 00:03:16,996
even though at times it is slightly medicinal --
her taste, I mean.
29
00:03:17,158 --> 00:03:21,356
-- Nurse Gladys. Who else?
-- Don't put it all on her!
30
00:03:21,518 --> 00:03:24,191
If o--only I c--could!
31
00:03:24,358 --> 00:03:30,069
The times I've tried to persuade her
to allow me to b--become a private patient!
32
00:03:30,238 --> 00:03:34,550
You'd think I'd be allowed to B--BUPA
now we're engaged!
33
00:03:34,718 --> 00:03:39,872
But she won't have it. She won't listen.
She's cuddly but stubborn, bless her!
34
00:03:40,958 --> 00:03:45,668
Oh, does me old heart good to think of her
up there at this very moment.
35
00:03:45,838 --> 00:03:48,398
Alone in that huge bed,
36
00:03:48,558 --> 00:03:52,187
with ample room
for the s--small private grocer!
37
00:03:53,318 --> 00:03:56,355
Sleeping the sleep of the only j--just!
38
00:03:58,958 --> 00:04:00,277
"The only just"?
39
00:04:00,438 --> 00:04:04,272
I made progress last night
with the aid of some C--Cyprus sherry.
40
00:04:04,438 --> 00:04:08,272
She's still sticking to her principles,
but only just!
41
00:04:10,478 --> 00:04:13,276
G--G--Granville, did you warm that pot?
42
00:04:13,438 --> 00:04:16,111
No, I warmed that one over there!
43
00:04:16,278 --> 00:04:22,069
You always ask me that every meal time. You
say, "G--G--Granville, did you warm that pot?"
44
00:04:22,238 --> 00:04:27,790
-- I always warm the pot.
-- No need to get all Vanessa about it!
45
00:04:30,158 --> 00:04:33,912
-- Have we got to have bacon again?
-- You like bacon.
46
00:04:34,078 --> 00:04:40,551
I do like a bit of bacon. I just wish
you wouldn't make me eat the bacon rind.
47
00:04:40,718 --> 00:04:43,516
-- Tasty, is bacon rind.
-- It's tasty enough,
48
00:04:43,678 --> 00:04:46,033
but it takes 40 minutes to chew it!
49
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:49,190
You can't go through life wasting things.
50
00:04:49,358 --> 00:04:52,236
Unless you're nationalised!
51
00:04:53,238 --> 00:04:56,787
What about me teeth?
I'm down to the canvas on me teeth!
52
00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:58,710
(SHOP BELL RINGS)
53
00:04:58,878 --> 00:05:03,349
You look after this b--bacon.
Don't let them rashers get c--curled up.
54
00:05:03,518 --> 00:05:05,793
I like 'em nice and flat!
55
00:05:09,438 --> 00:05:14,273
Oh, hello! A smartly--dressed stranger
c--come to part with his money!
56
00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:17,510
-- Not exactly.
-- You mean he doesn't count his change?
57
00:05:17,678 --> 00:05:21,671
Could you give me directions
to Abercorn Street?
58
00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:26,432
Give you? Give you directions
to Abercorn Street?
59
00:05:26,598 --> 00:05:29,829
I can sell you directions to Abercorn Street.
60
00:05:29,998 --> 00:05:33,229
-- Sell me?
-- You are not from these parts, I take it?
61
00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:36,754
-- I'm just here on business.
-- Aren't we all?
62
00:05:36,918 --> 00:05:40,706
In that case,
you'll realise there are h--overheads.
63
00:05:40,878 --> 00:05:43,915
We have rates to pay,
wear and tear, staff to pay.
64
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,911
All these blazing 40--watt bulbs.
65
00:05:47,078 --> 00:05:49,353
Then there's the heating.
66
00:05:49,518 --> 00:05:52,476
Heating? It doesn't feel terribly warm here.
67
00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:56,631
It might help if you put the wood in the hole!
68
00:05:56,798 --> 00:06:00,757
You wouldn't feel the heat
because you come from a milder climate.
69
00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:06,117
-- What, Luton?
-- Sub--tropical Bedfordshire, you see!
70
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:10,317
But the locals round here
think this is quite a hot shop.
71
00:06:10,478 --> 00:06:14,187
Most of them just come in
to get done to a turn!
72
00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:17,953
-- I can imagine!
-- In return for this service to a customer,
73
00:06:18,118 --> 00:06:24,114
a benevolent council allows us struggling
shopkeepers to charge for directions.
74
00:06:24,278 --> 00:06:27,236
30p--p--p for the first mile,
75
00:06:27,398 --> 00:06:30,834
or p--p... or p--p... or part thereof.
76
00:06:31,438 --> 00:06:33,713
Oh. And how far is Abercorn Street?
77
00:06:33,878 --> 00:06:38,872
Oh, d--don't panic. I'll give you
all the short cuts. It'll be less than a pound.
78
00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:44,629
Don't worry. Alternatively,
you could make a few token purchases
79
00:06:44,798 --> 00:06:47,073
and then the service would be free.
80
00:07:06,038 --> 00:07:08,711
He wanted 'em flat. He can have 'em flat!
81
00:07:17,918 --> 00:07:21,877
There we are, sir. 37p change. Do call again.
82
00:07:22,038 --> 00:07:25,951
I don't think so.
I may never come this way again.
83
00:07:27,598 --> 00:07:32,114
-- Sh--Ships that pass in the night, eh?
-- I feel I've run aground somewhere.
84
00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:35,910
Well, you can shove yourself off with that.
85
00:07:36,078 --> 00:07:39,627
Come on, don't keep it a secret.
Where is Abercorn Street?
86
00:07:39,798 --> 00:07:45,077
You just passed it. First on the right, down there.
I thought everybody kn--knew that.
87
00:07:46,398 --> 00:07:49,390
# If I can help s--s--somebody
88
00:07:50,478 --> 00:07:53,276
# As I pass along
89
00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:57,556
# Then my living will not be in vain #
90
00:07:57,718 --> 00:08:00,710
(SQUEAKING)
91
00:08:34,318 --> 00:08:38,311
Nice to see a smiling face.
How are you keeping, Granville?
92
00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:43,789
Oh, hi, Wendy!
93
00:08:44,798 --> 00:08:49,474
-- You going my way?
-- Am I going her way?
94
00:08:56,798 --> 00:08:59,790
(SQUEAKING CONTINUES)
95
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:02,267
I'm coming. I'm coming.
96
00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:32,472
The next bike that opens its mouth
is gonna get a kick up the sprockets!
97
00:09:36,918 --> 00:09:40,069
(SQUEAKING)
98
00:09:41,278 --> 00:09:44,270
(SQUEAKING SPEEDS UP)
99
00:09:58,678 --> 00:10:02,353
Couldn't you go some other way,
Granville? Please?
100
00:10:15,638 --> 00:10:17,833
You swine!
101
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,670
It gets so as you don't know
what to give him for dinner.
102
00:10:36,838 --> 00:10:39,875
-- Is he back?
-- I think so.
103
00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:42,711
-- He's not sure himself.
-- Oh.
104
00:10:42,878 --> 00:10:46,234
Wh--Which one does he like?
Does he like that one?
105
00:10:46,398 --> 00:10:49,356
-- Yeah, he likes that one.
-- There we are, then.
106
00:10:50,838 --> 00:10:53,671
Mind you, he likes that one as well.
107
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:07,236
If I get it wrong, he yells at me.
Slings it across the kitchen.
108
00:11:07,398 --> 00:11:12,426
Does he? Well, definitely take
the beefburgers. They travel better.
109
00:11:14,718 --> 00:11:17,710
I've seen them used as frisbees, them.
110
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:22,630
Mavis, you stand there
and make your mind up.
111
00:11:22,798 --> 00:11:27,667
I'll go and serve Mrs F--F--F--F....
Mrs F... That woman over there.
112
00:11:27,838 --> 00:11:30,432
-- Stewing steak.
-- Bless you.
113
00:11:31,238 --> 00:11:34,116
-- I'll have a look at that one.
-- That one there?
114
00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:39,870
-- Is it a good brand?
-- It's been very well behaved on the shelf.
115
00:11:40,038 --> 00:11:42,233
Course it's a g--good brand.
116
00:11:42,398 --> 00:11:45,868
How long do you think I'd last
if I sold rubbish?
117
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:50,270
If you want rubbish, go round
to my c--competitor round the corner.
118
00:11:50,438 --> 00:11:55,558
-- He's less than you are on several items.
-- He's five foot one -- he can afford to be!
119
00:11:55,718 --> 00:11:58,835
-- He has regular reductions.
-- Look what it's done to him!
120
00:11:58,998 --> 00:12:01,307
He needs a ladder to look over his counter!
121
00:12:01,478 --> 00:12:05,232
-- He's always polite.
-- Smarmy, you mean. Smarmy.
122
00:12:05,398 --> 00:12:08,754
He's the type that wears Brylcreem
on his teeth!
123
00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:14,072
That's not his own smile, you know. It's one
they can hire from the Grocers' Federation.
124
00:12:14,238 --> 00:12:17,389
It doesn't even fit him.
If you observe closely,
125
00:12:17,558 --> 00:12:21,312
you'll find he's wearing the smile
of a m--much larger person.
126
00:12:21,478 --> 00:12:24,948
I haven't anything against the man personally.
127
00:12:25,118 --> 00:12:29,191
Outside office hours
he's probably absolutely r--repulsive.
128
00:12:29,358 --> 00:12:33,909
But he's so s--small he can't be
all that repulsive -- although he does try.
129
00:12:34,078 --> 00:12:38,390
Are you gonna buy that tin
or bring it up to body temperature?
130
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:42,915
I don't think so. Things are so dear
in tins -- especially round here.
131
00:12:43,078 --> 00:12:45,797
Well, it's h--overheads, you see.
132
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:48,756
-- I have things specially flown in.
-- Flown in?
133
00:12:48,918 --> 00:12:51,591
Yes. There's a pigeon mark on that one.
134
00:12:51,758 --> 00:12:53,794
-- Listen!
-- (SQUEAKING)
135
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:56,950
Here comes my p--private jet now.
136
00:12:57,558 --> 00:13:00,197
That is it. Finished. Never again!
137
00:13:00,358 --> 00:13:05,478
How's a young man supposed to feel
with that squeaking thing between his legs?
138
00:13:08,278 --> 00:13:10,587
Whatever can he mean?
139
00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:14,910
They get easily upset, these jet pilots.
140
00:13:15,078 --> 00:13:17,797
I think it's the v--vertical takeoff.
141
00:13:18,838 --> 00:13:23,514
That's the first time Granville's ever
walked past me without saying something.
142
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:28,069
-- Sounded like something to me!
-- I mean something personal.
143
00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:30,752
Sounded personal enough to me!
144
00:13:30,918 --> 00:13:34,957
Why don't you face it?
That old shop bike is clapped out!
145
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:37,632
Oil and a few adjustments is all it needs.
146
00:13:37,798 --> 00:13:42,349
-- Attend to these ladies. I'll fix the bike.
-- It needs more than an oil can.
147
00:13:42,518 --> 00:13:46,716
-- It needs Aladdin's lamp!
-- Just attend to these customers, please.
148
00:13:46,878 --> 00:13:49,392
And no hanky--panky with Widow Twanky!
149
00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:56,471
-- Hello, Mavis.
-- Hello, Granville.
150
00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:58,151
Oh, my God!
151
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,796
Are you in a hurry
or shall I serve Mrs Featherstone?
152
00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:04,426
I don't know whether I'm in a hurry or not.
153
00:14:04,598 --> 00:14:08,068
-- No, you're not in a hurry.
-- Aren't I?
154
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,557
No.
155
00:14:10,798 --> 00:14:13,312
What can I do for you, Mrs Featherstone?
156
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:17,153
It might be all right for certain articles,
but to be blunt,
157
00:14:17,318 --> 00:14:22,551
a woman of my age feels easier discussing
her needs with persons of a mature outlook.
158
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,829
-- How about some boiled ham?
-- Is it wrapped?
159
00:14:29,598 --> 00:14:33,307
-- No, but I can wrap it for you.
-- No, thank you, Granville.
160
00:14:33,478 --> 00:14:39,667
I could never bring meself to buy anything
unwrapped from today's liberated youth.
161
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:43,877
Don't worry about me.
I'm still waiting to be liberated.
162
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,151
If the permissive society reached this far
163
00:14:48,318 --> 00:14:52,470
it must have been
while I was out on that damn shop bike!
164
00:15:06,678 --> 00:15:09,351
(PIERCING SQUEAK)
165
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:17,118
What are you doing to that dog?
Aren't you a bit big for playing with dogs?
166
00:15:17,278 --> 00:15:20,315
I n--never touched him, moon of my delight.
167
00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:22,833
Keep your voice down, you great fool!
168
00:15:22,998 --> 00:15:27,071
What I'm really looking forward t--to
to keep me company at nights
169
00:15:27,238 --> 00:15:31,311
is a well--trained obedient
s--state registered nurse.
170
00:15:31,478 --> 00:15:35,266
-- One with a cold nose and a warm...
-- Shurrup!
171
00:15:36,238 --> 00:15:38,957
Yes, definitely a warm shurrup!
172
00:15:39,118 --> 00:15:42,713
No household pet should be
without a warm shurrup!
173
00:15:42,878 --> 00:15:45,676
(SQUEAKING)
174
00:15:50,078 --> 00:15:52,546
Why don't you do something about that bike?
175
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,073
It's not the bicycle, it's me!
176
00:15:55,238 --> 00:15:59,311
In the interests of humanity
you ought to p--pop over tonight
177
00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:03,915
-- and have a look at my squeak.
-- Don't get yourself excited.
178
00:16:04,078 --> 00:16:07,593
One day you'll be going a funny colour
and gasping for breath.
179
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,714
Promises, promises!
180
00:16:09,878 --> 00:16:11,948
Ready when you are!
181
00:16:18,718 --> 00:16:24,111
Being a widow woman suits Mrs Featherstone.
She's taken to it very easily.
182
00:16:24,278 --> 00:16:27,714
Wh--Why not? She's practised
that gloomy expression for years!
183
00:16:27,878 --> 00:16:32,827
I get the distinct impression she likes
her husband a lot better now he's dead.
184
00:16:32,998 --> 00:16:36,149
Say what you like, he's less argumentative!
185
00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:42,069
-- She doesn't seem very unhappy.
-- She knows where he is of an evening.
186
00:16:43,398 --> 00:16:46,071
You can't understand people, can you?
187
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:50,277
Indian widows throw themselves on fires
when their husbands die.
188
00:16:50,438 --> 00:16:55,193
Be fair to Mrs Featherstone, Granville.
This is a smokeless zone!
189
00:16:56,758 --> 00:17:02,310
You can hardly expect her to hurl herself
on top of the night storage heater!
190
00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:07,188
-- You'd expect her to show some emotion.
-- Have you tried overcharging her?
191
00:17:07,358 --> 00:17:10,555
I expect a bit of emotion when I go.
192
00:17:10,718 --> 00:17:13,869
You're only g--going to Sanderson Street!
193
00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:17,348
I don't mean when I go out on deliveries.
I mean...
194
00:17:17,518 --> 00:17:20,032
when...when I'm dead.
195
00:17:21,078 --> 00:17:24,468
Just make sure you go to Sanderson Street first!
196
00:17:24,638 --> 00:17:27,357
I don't want you turning up there
after you're dead.
197
00:17:27,518 --> 00:17:31,306
Unless it's first thing in the morning --
they won't notice!
198
00:17:31,478 --> 00:17:34,550
I can't imagine that, somehow. Can you?
199
00:17:34,718 --> 00:17:37,676
You know, me being dead.
200
00:17:43,718 --> 00:17:45,071
Ow!
201
00:17:46,918 --> 00:17:49,273
G--Get on with it, will you?
202
00:17:49,438 --> 00:17:53,511
If there's any d--dying to be done,
it'll be done in your own time.
203
00:17:53,678 --> 00:17:57,557
When I go, I want beautiful women
tearing their hair.
204
00:17:59,198 --> 00:18:02,827
I shall leave instructions for a private funeral,
205
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:06,547
but if the crowd rush it,
I want you to let them in.
206
00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:11,069
Every year on the anniversary of my death,
207
00:18:11,238 --> 00:18:13,957
I want a mysterious woman in black
208
00:18:14,118 --> 00:18:18,634
to place upon my grave a single flower.
209
00:18:20,878 --> 00:18:23,711
P--Plain or self--raising?
210
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:29,069
Come on, what's all this talk about dying?
211
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,752
We've all got to go sometime.
212
00:18:31,918 --> 00:18:34,910
You should have gone to Atkinson Terrace.
213
00:18:35,078 --> 00:18:40,710
I just thought Mrs Featherstone might have
shown more affection towards her husband.
214
00:18:40,878 --> 00:18:44,188
She's up at the c--cemetery
every Saturday afternoon.
215
00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:47,475
She sees more of him now than she ever did.
216
00:18:47,638 --> 00:18:51,426
If only I'd seen a tear. Just a single tear.
217
00:18:52,158 --> 00:18:57,471
-- She's the old school. They soldier on.
-- Ought to be more to married life.
218
00:18:57,638 --> 00:19:01,392
She looked after him.
He always came home to a meal.
219
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,072
Yes, but what about affection, eh?
220
00:19:04,238 --> 00:19:07,753
You know, a bit of a giggle.
A bit of slap and tickle.
221
00:19:10,838 --> 00:19:15,070
-- There was some of that and all.
-- That I don't believe!
222
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:17,388
Oh, yes, there was.
223
00:19:17,558 --> 00:19:19,549
Twice a week.
224
00:19:19,718 --> 00:19:22,357
From her up at Atkinson Terrace!
225
00:19:22,518 --> 00:19:25,112
(SHOP BELL RINGS)
226
00:19:25,278 --> 00:19:29,317
Don't stand there with your mouth open.
There's a bus coming.
227
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:31,708
Get into the shop. Go on.
228
00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:37,352
What number Atkinson Terrace?
229
00:19:42,118 --> 00:19:45,588
-- Hello, Mrs Whittington.
-- Is your bread fresh?
230
00:19:48,598 --> 00:19:51,749
Yes, like the morning dew, Mrs Whittington.
231
00:19:51,918 --> 00:19:54,478
Wet and soggy, is it, like yesterday's?
232
00:19:54,638 --> 00:19:57,471
No, it's lovely and fresh, this bread.
233
00:19:57,638 --> 00:20:02,837
-- Listen.
-- Go on, maul it about. I'll take one.
234
00:20:02,998 --> 00:20:06,957
-- One small brown sliced loaf.
-- But not that one.
235
00:20:12,158 --> 00:20:15,867
One other small brown sliced loaf.
236
00:20:19,278 --> 00:20:24,272
-- Have you any potted meat?
-- Potted meat? It's in the other room.
237
00:20:27,598 --> 00:20:31,193
-- Who have you got in the shop?
-- Mrs Whittington.
238
00:20:31,358 --> 00:20:35,397
Makes your heart bleed
for that poor Dick she married!
239
00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:38,597
Strange little woman, isn't she?
240
00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:43,309
She reminds me of a b--boil
I used to get on the b--back of me neck.
241
00:20:43,478 --> 00:20:48,711
-- How much do you wanna charge for these?
-- Thirty--f... Thirty--f... Thirty--six pence.
242
00:20:49,358 --> 00:20:51,952
Is there nobody happy round here?
243
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:56,396
-- Ask me that when I've cashed up tonight.
-- In their personal relationships!
244
00:20:56,558 --> 00:20:59,550
Well, there's Mrs Prior and her gerbil.
245
00:21:00,878 --> 00:21:03,187
Enough to put you off marriage for life!
246
00:21:03,358 --> 00:21:07,749
If you're not going to get married,
what will you do for entertainment?
247
00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:12,912
Keep getting yourself signed in by a member?
You'll soon run out of ink, won't you?
248
00:21:13,078 --> 00:21:15,387
Make that thirty--nine.
249
00:21:32,598 --> 00:21:36,511
-- What do you keep looking at me for?
-- Are you happy, Mrs Whittington?
250
00:21:36,678 --> 00:21:40,557
With one brown loaf
and a quarter of potted meat?
251
00:21:45,198 --> 00:21:49,828
No, I mean with life. With marriage.
252
00:21:49,998 --> 00:21:54,913
You read about these things.
Young men at a certain time of life.
253
00:21:55,078 --> 00:21:59,708
-- Not so certain. Never has been certain.
-- Becoming obsessed by older women.
254
00:21:59,878 --> 00:22:02,631
I wouldn't say obsessed.
255
00:22:02,798 --> 00:22:06,029
I suppose it's 'cause I've got a big bust?
256
00:22:06,198 --> 00:22:09,429
Things are never what they seem, Granville.
257
00:22:09,598 --> 00:22:13,113
My bosom may look all right
when it's all trussed up.
258
00:22:13,278 --> 00:22:16,714
But if you was ever there
when I let it all loose, lad,
259
00:22:16,878 --> 00:22:19,631
it'd scare you to death!
260
00:22:37,358 --> 00:22:39,747
I owe Mrs Whittington a better loaf. Sorry!
261
00:22:43,158 --> 00:22:46,787
What have you done?
Have you twisted your knee?
262
00:22:46,958 --> 00:22:48,994
Not exactly, no!
263
00:22:49,158 --> 00:22:52,833
What's this bike doing?
Do you have to leave it here?
264
00:22:52,998 --> 00:22:56,991
-- Can't you find another place for it?
-- I just did!
265
00:22:57,158 --> 00:22:59,274
It's better off where it is.
266
00:22:59,438 --> 00:23:02,430
Take this bike out
before somebody breaks their neck.
267
00:23:02,598 --> 00:23:07,149
Neck? That's the last thing
to worry about, is your neck.
268
00:23:07,318 --> 00:23:09,707
Go on, get it out. Go on. Ow!
269
00:23:13,118 --> 00:23:16,508
-- Oh, dear. I don't know.
-- Pack it in!
270
00:23:16,678 --> 00:23:18,794
I may have to!
271
00:23:21,198 --> 00:23:28,070
Now, you luscious m--medical person. Wh--What
can we talk about till I get me breath back?
272
00:23:28,238 --> 00:23:33,312
-- Your squeak's completely gone.
-- Oh. I was hoping it was only bruised!
273
00:23:34,838 --> 00:23:40,071
Come on, come on, get in there.
Can't you see we three want to be alone?
274
00:23:43,038 --> 00:23:47,554
-- I'm not sure I want to be alone.
-- Course you do, my love.
275
00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:52,348
-- We must s--snatch every moment we can.
-- You snatched enough last night.
276
00:23:52,518 --> 00:23:56,636
You were very amiable
under the influence of the Cyprus sherry!
277
00:23:56,798 --> 00:24:01,474
I've never seen stuff like it
for making your buttons come undone!
278
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:06,351
It's amazing what you can find
under the National Health!
279
00:24:06,518 --> 00:24:09,078
-- Shall we have another look?
-- Stop it!
280
00:24:09,238 --> 00:24:12,435
Keep your voice down!
You'll embarrass Granville.
281
00:24:12,598 --> 00:24:18,548
He's all right! Granville is getting ready
for a trip on the reconditioned shop bike.
282
00:24:18,718 --> 00:24:22,870
Who is? You'll never get me
on that shop bike again.
283
00:24:23,038 --> 00:24:25,506
All right. I'll go meself.
284
00:24:25,678 --> 00:24:30,229
I might even take in Atkinson Terrace.
Remember Atkinson Terrace?
285
00:24:30,398 --> 00:24:35,233
Where the late Mr Featherstone
used to get his...used to visit twice a week?
286
00:24:35,398 --> 00:24:38,515
The late Mr Featherstone
visited Atkinson Terrace?
287
00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:42,910
Yes. Mind you, he was never
the late Mr Featherstone there!
288
00:24:43,078 --> 00:24:46,309
-- What number Atkinson Terrace?
-- Atkinson Terrace?
289
00:24:46,478 --> 00:24:49,151
Is that an echo? Oh!
290
00:24:49,318 --> 00:24:52,151
The Atkinson Terrace I'm thinking about?
291
00:24:53,078 --> 00:24:58,516
Well, I must go. I've got three open wounds
and something septic to see to.
292
00:24:58,678 --> 00:25:02,990
Ooh! Sounds like the Labour Party conference!
293
00:25:03,158 --> 00:25:05,911
What about Atkinson Terrace?
294
00:25:07,518 --> 00:25:11,591
Er... Yes, well, m--my friends and I
were wondering
295
00:25:11,758 --> 00:25:16,627
just how far one could get
on the new reconditioned shop bicycle.
296
00:25:16,798 --> 00:25:18,709
G--Granville, fetch my hat.
297
00:25:18,878 --> 00:25:22,348
M--My sceptical friend there
and my septic friend here
298
00:25:22,518 --> 00:25:28,229
decided that you couldn't reach Atkinson
Terrace, but I'm going to prove them wrong.
299
00:25:28,398 --> 00:25:32,789
-- That old bike? Why not get him a new one?
-- No, it's the h--overheads.
300
00:25:32,958 --> 00:25:35,677
-- Thank you.
-- Why do you want your hat?
301
00:25:35,838 --> 00:25:40,229
You can never be seen
without a hat in Atkinson Terrace.
302
00:25:40,398 --> 00:25:42,753
Trousers, possibly!
303
00:25:44,638 --> 00:25:46,469
Just a minute!
304
00:25:46,638 --> 00:25:51,712
Before you go I'd like to know just what
you were discussing about Atkinson Terrace.
305
00:25:51,878 --> 00:25:55,712
What number Atkinson Terrace would that be,
Mrs Featherstone?
306
00:25:55,878 --> 00:26:00,315
-- Never you mind what number that might be.
-- Granville, are you coming to see this?
307
00:26:00,478 --> 00:26:02,355
Aye, coming!
308
00:26:07,318 --> 00:26:10,151
What are you doing right up there?
309
00:26:11,078 --> 00:26:14,354
I'm g--going to start on l--level ground.
310
00:26:20,958 --> 00:26:24,667
I'll sh--show you who can reach Atkinson Terrace!
311
00:26:33,918 --> 00:26:35,909
See? No squeak.
312
00:26:36,798 --> 00:26:40,154
-- Your front wheel looks loose.
-- Rubbish!
313
00:26:45,238 --> 00:26:47,877
(CLATTERING)
314
00:27:27,638 --> 00:27:29,674
That walk...
315
00:27:29,838 --> 00:27:32,830
It does remind me of Atkinson Terrace!
316
00:27:38,038 --> 00:27:41,508
I'll be all right wh--when I get me wind back.
317
00:27:42,718 --> 00:27:45,835
Where does it hurt? As if I didn't know!
318
00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:49,517
It's the h--h--overheads, you know!
319
00:27:57,318 --> 00:27:59,229
What a day!
320
00:27:59,958 --> 00:28:04,474
You can't carry on like that
without having your rates reduced!
321
00:28:05,198 --> 00:28:09,237
I must say, Mrs Featherstone
looked very striking in black.
322
00:28:10,398 --> 00:28:16,348
I wonder if Nurse Gladys will go
into black underwear when her mother dies.
323
00:28:17,998 --> 00:28:20,990
I would certainly try to talk her out of it!
324
00:28:23,758 --> 00:28:26,989
Lord, let Mrs Gillespie
come in for her bread,
325
00:28:27,158 --> 00:28:30,787
and keep our Granville
away from Atkinson Terrace.
326
00:28:32,758 --> 00:28:35,226
What number?
327
00:28:35,398 --> 00:28:38,231
I don't know the number!