1
00:00:22,958 --> 00:00:28,237
-- What are you putting?
-- "Lowest food prices in the whole street."

2
00:00:28,398 --> 00:00:31,629
-- They'll soon see through that!
-- How do you mean?

3
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:35,029
Naturally they're the lowest prices
in the street

4
00:00:35,198 --> 00:00:39,476
'cause it's the only shop in the street!
But they're the highest in the area!

5
00:00:39,638 --> 00:00:42,471
Keep your voice down, can't you?

6
00:00:42,638 --> 00:00:45,436
Your slogans are losing their bite.

7
00:00:46,158 --> 00:00:49,355
It's all the fault of N--Nurse Gladys Emanuel.

8
00:00:49,518 --> 00:00:52,237
I can't even r--remember what a bite is like!

9
00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:56,875
It's very hard work being an engaged person

10
00:00:57,038 --> 00:01:01,395
-- and running a business at the same time.
-- Oh, yeah?

11
00:01:02,158 --> 00:01:05,275
Your mind tends to wander to other things.

12
00:01:15,078 --> 00:01:17,717
What am I doing?

13
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,597
G--Granville, fetch your cloth!

14
00:02:38,878 --> 00:02:40,789
Morning, Granville!

15
00:02:55,798 --> 00:02:58,266
Are you still engaged?

16
00:03:00,438 --> 00:03:02,793
Yes, I'm still engaged.

17
00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:06,997
If it ever falls through,
you'll know where to find me.

18
00:03:07,158 --> 00:03:09,797
In the Northern Eye Hospital!

19
00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:16,756
Granville...you're a sweetheart!

20
00:03:20,278 --> 00:03:23,668
I don't want you crazy about me
out of sympathy,

21
00:03:23,838 --> 00:03:26,113
just 'cause I'm blind!

22
00:03:34,478 --> 00:03:39,313
-- 'Ere, where are you going?
-- A query about the nurse's bread order!

23
00:03:39,478 --> 00:03:43,187
Careful! Look, supposing somebody sees you?

24
00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:48,068
Good heavens! If two engaged p--persons
can't s--sort out their own bread order,

25
00:03:48,238 --> 00:03:50,547
what's the c--country coming to?

26
00:04:15,278 --> 00:04:20,113
On second thoughts,
I'll be a bit more welcome b--bearing g--gifts.

27
00:04:53,078 --> 00:04:55,228
A plastic rose again?

28
00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:59,871
It's worth its weight in g--grope, is this --
er, gold, is this.

29
00:05:00,598 --> 00:05:04,671
I present her with it,
which p--puts her in a good mood.

30
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:09,070
I t--take advantage of that good mood,
which puts her in a bad mood!

31
00:05:09,238 --> 00:05:14,312
She throws it at me, I catch it,
and I'm r--ready for the next time.

32
00:05:14,478 --> 00:05:16,833
And n--not a penny spent!

33
00:05:20,118 --> 00:05:23,633
You never know.
Things might be different this morning!

34
00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:32,316
Are you in there, my s--sleeping beauty?

35
00:05:32,478 --> 00:05:35,276
Prince Ch--Ch--Charming out here.

36
00:05:36,838 --> 00:05:40,467
Don't be lying in your lonely bed, my love.

37
00:05:40,638 --> 00:05:45,234
There's a couple of hundredweight
of pure delight out here.

38
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,470
What are you doing there, you silly fool?

39
00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:02,916
What am I doing?
What are YOU doing next door?

40
00:06:03,398 --> 00:06:07,835
I'm not next door!
It's you, you fool! You're next door!

41
00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:10,111
Ooh!

42
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:16,629
I was just climbing up here
to rescue a little wounded budgie.

43
00:06:16,798 --> 00:06:21,269
Don't panic, now!
I can feel his little heart fluttering.

44
00:06:23,358 --> 00:06:28,068
You look as if you might have a nice warm place
for a little homeless creature.

45
00:06:28,238 --> 00:06:31,230
You just take your little budgie home!

46
00:06:42,718 --> 00:06:44,709
Ooh! Ah! Ah! Ooh!

47
00:06:44,878 --> 00:06:46,516
Ooh! Ah!

48
00:06:46,678 --> 00:06:50,876
Oh! The p--p--p--poor little thing!

49
00:06:54,118 --> 00:06:57,110
I can feel his little heart f--f--f--flutter!

50
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,786
I w--wish you'd shut up, Granville.

51
00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:06,078
-- I've had some very disturbing news here.
-- Yes? "Errand boys get a £10 increase."

52
00:07:06,238 --> 00:07:08,593
Where does it say that?

53
00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:13,673
I wish you'd p--pack it in!
It's been one shock after another, this morning.

54
00:07:16,678 --> 00:07:20,273
No, I d--daren't look.
Go and have a look, will you?

55
00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:24,192
-- Have a look? What for?
-- See if there's a b--big flash car

56
00:07:24,358 --> 00:07:27,350
parked outside Nurse Gladys Emanuel's house.

57
00:07:27,518 --> 00:07:32,911
-- Big flash car? Why would there be a...
-- Don't argue! Just go and look, will you?

58
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,672
I'm going. I'm going. I'm going.

59
00:07:35,838 --> 00:07:39,592
No, no big flash car
parked outside Nurse Gladys Emanuel's.

60
00:07:39,758 --> 00:07:43,876
N--Never mind, there will be soon. He'll c--come.

61
00:07:44,038 --> 00:07:46,996
-- Who? Who's coming?
-- Chalky White.

62
00:07:47,158 --> 00:07:50,867
Well, Chalky White that was,
before he went to Australia.

63
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:54,508
I should think b--by now
he's known as D--Dirty Brown!

64
00:07:54,678 --> 00:07:57,670
He'll need a big car
if he's coming from Australia!

65
00:07:57,838 --> 00:08:01,751
There he is in the paper.
See that? He's back on a visit.

66
00:08:01,918 --> 00:08:05,706
Just revisiting old ac--acquaintances, it says.

67
00:08:05,878 --> 00:08:08,551
He'll be flashing his money about, no doubt.

68
00:08:08,718 --> 00:08:13,792
I hope he doesn't expect a tour round
Nurse Gladys Emanuel as part of his itinerary!

69
00:08:14,958 --> 00:08:18,109
"Former local man, Mr Arthur White,

70
00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:21,714
"now a resident
of Drongo Springs, Australia."

71
00:08:21,878 --> 00:08:27,669
Huh! Drongo Springs! I bet they don't wear
pinnies in Drongo Springs, Australia.

72
00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:30,398
A pom in a pinny!

73
00:08:30,558 --> 00:08:33,595
I'd go down really big in Drongo Springs!

74
00:08:33,758 --> 00:08:37,228
They can't be t--too particular
if they took on Chalky White.

75
00:08:37,398 --> 00:08:41,186
-- He was absolutely d--dim at school.
-- How come he went to Australia?

76
00:08:41,358 --> 00:08:44,987
It doesn't surprise me,
knowing his knowledge of geography.

77
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:48,468
He was probably looking for
S--Stoke Newington!

78
00:08:48,638 --> 00:08:51,198
Then how come you're so worried?

79
00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:54,077
Worried? Who s--says I'm worried?

80
00:08:54,238 --> 00:08:57,389
You've just undone a brand--new clothes line!

81
00:08:57,998 --> 00:09:03,311
Oh, God, Granville. That's gonna be
a hell of a job to put all that back together.

82
00:09:03,478 --> 00:09:07,391
For years I haven't even looked at a clothes line.

83
00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:13,076
You lead a blameless life, then suddenly
they find you undoing strange clothes lines.

84
00:09:13,238 --> 00:09:15,832
Don't lean about. Take a hold of this.

85
00:09:15,998 --> 00:09:20,674
-- "Granville, you are now an accessory."
-- Shut up and hold still.

86
00:09:20,838 --> 00:09:25,628
"Not only are you an errand boy, you are now
an assistant to a clothes line fumbler."

87
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:30,553
'Ere, mind that, it's my fingers there.
Why are you wrapping it round me fingers?

88
00:09:30,718 --> 00:09:33,596
'Cause I can't reach your neck, that's why!

89
00:09:33,758 --> 00:09:36,875
-- Just don't let it go, please.
-- I can't let it go!

90
00:09:37,038 --> 00:09:40,872
Hold it still and tight!
It's no good having it slack.

91
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:44,348
There is no demand
for s--sloppy clothes lines.

92
00:09:45,238 --> 00:09:47,354
Keep it tight! Keep it tight!

93
00:09:47,518 --> 00:09:48,871
Pardon?

94
00:09:49,038 --> 00:09:53,475
Not you, Gordon. You can let it loose
like you have done for years.

95
00:09:53,638 --> 00:09:58,154
-- Why do I come here to be insulted?
-- Because it's convenient.

96
00:09:58,318 --> 00:10:04,234
Look how far you'd have to go to be insulted
if we weren't here. Right up the Co--op!

97
00:10:04,398 --> 00:10:07,390
What are you doing with that clothes line?

98
00:10:07,558 --> 00:10:11,028
-- We are changing it to metric.
-- Metric?

99
00:10:11,838 --> 00:10:16,707
Aye. It's illegal to have a clothes line
in feet and inches nowadays.

100
00:10:16,878 --> 00:10:19,312
Is it? Oh, I think ours is!

101
00:10:19,478 --> 00:10:22,754
Is it? Well, you'd better change it
at once, Gordon.

102
00:10:22,918 --> 00:10:27,196
Yes. They've got the detector vans round,
you know!

103
00:10:27,358 --> 00:10:31,192
-- Tell you what. Let go! Let go!
-- I can't let go!

104
00:10:31,358 --> 00:10:36,386
There. Why don't you have that one?
Save us wrapping it up again, Gordon, eh?

105
00:10:36,558 --> 00:10:40,233
I'm not taking that one.
I want a new one, fully wound.

106
00:10:40,398 --> 00:10:44,516
Very shrewd, is Gordon.
I knew we'd have t--trouble with Gordon.

107
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:47,590
Arkwright, you'd sell a beggar anything!

108
00:10:47,758 --> 00:10:52,548
Will you go and get Mr Stackpool
a brand--new wrapped up clothes line, Granville?

109
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,471
£1.45, please, Gordon.

110
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:58,198
And make sure it's metric!

111
00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,916
Thank you!

112
00:11:00,078 --> 00:11:04,913
Granville, wrap that one up
in the manner to which it is accustomed.

113
00:11:05,078 --> 00:11:07,546
£1.45 to take.

114
00:11:12,878 --> 00:11:14,994
There we are. Ouf!

115
00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:18,193
I'll get you, playtime!

116
00:11:18,358 --> 00:11:20,826
5p change, G--Gordon.

117
00:11:20,998 --> 00:11:23,831
-- 'Ey up!
-- Don't bother me now, Gordon.

118
00:11:23,998 --> 00:11:28,230
I'm up to here with anxieties
appropriate to the engaged person.

119
00:11:28,398 --> 00:11:31,595
If all we do is stretch this from post to post,

120
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,147
what difference if it's inches or metric?

121
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:39,438
Very good question. I would not like you
to leave this shop unsatisfied. Understand?

122
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:42,431
All right. In that case, I'll have me money back.

123
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,315
M--m--m--m--m...

124
00:11:48,718 --> 00:11:50,071
M--m--m--m--m--m--m b--b--b--

125
00:11:50,238 --> 00:11:51,637
Money back?!

126
00:11:54,558 --> 00:11:57,834
Hey, Gordon, stay right there. Hold the line.

127
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,875
Where are you going with them legs
this time of day?

128
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:12,067
-- None of your business.
-- Course it's my business!

129
00:12:12,238 --> 00:12:14,672
I'm engaged to them legs!

130
00:12:16,598 --> 00:12:19,351
-- What's the matter? You're on edge.
-- I am.

131
00:12:19,518 --> 00:12:24,308
I've got a man in that shop
who's lost all sense of civilised behaviour.

132
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:28,437
-- My God! What's he doing?
-- Asking for his money back!

133
00:12:28,598 --> 00:12:29,917
Poor devil!

134
00:12:30,078 --> 00:12:34,469
-- It's about time I had a bit of sympathy.
-- Not you, him!

135
00:12:34,638 --> 00:12:36,947
Does he know what he's in for?

136
00:12:37,878 --> 00:12:41,188
Not yet... B--But he will!

137
00:12:46,478 --> 00:12:49,117
What are you looking at me like that for?

138
00:12:49,278 --> 00:12:53,396
Are you sure this journey
is for m--medicinal purposes only?

139
00:12:53,558 --> 00:12:58,871
-- Where else would I go dressed like this?
-- You might be combining business with...

140
00:12:59,038 --> 00:13:04,032
Oh, dear! I daren't even think
what you might be combining business with!

141
00:13:04,198 --> 00:13:06,666
I don't know what you're going on about.

142
00:13:06,838 --> 00:13:10,228
I get this impression
you've been doing yourself up a bit.

143
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:14,835
Cheeky devil! You make me sound
like a condemned shed!

144
00:13:15,638 --> 00:13:19,631
Well, just you remember
you're m--my condemned shed!

145
00:13:23,918 --> 00:13:27,752
My! She's in a b--bad mood
for an angel of mercy!

146
00:13:30,198 --> 00:13:33,190
Glad she's not bandaging anything of mine!

147
00:13:38,158 --> 00:13:41,946
I don't believe he's been in touch yet,
but he will be!

148
00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:44,757
-- Who?
-- Oh, Chalky White.

149
00:13:44,918 --> 00:13:47,876
-- Chalky White?
-- He went to Australia.

150
00:13:48,038 --> 00:13:52,953
-- I went to school with him.
-- He's always fancied Nurse Gladys Emanuel.

151
00:13:53,118 --> 00:13:56,747
-- He reckoned she looked like Jane Russell.
-- Jane Russell?!

152
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:59,751
-- From the side.
-- Oh, from the side.

153
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:03,471
Great man for the ladies was Chalky!

154
00:14:03,638 --> 00:14:07,551
Will you sh--shut up, Gordon?
Coming here d--depressing people.

155
00:14:07,718 --> 00:14:11,108
Granville, you've made a very nice job of that!

156
00:14:11,278 --> 00:14:13,712
-- He's done that well.
-- You what?

157
00:14:14,798 --> 00:14:17,790
That's not Granville's. It's the one I'm returning.

158
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:23,669
Well, return it, then! Why don't you just
g--go home and depress someone near and dear.

159
00:14:23,838 --> 00:14:26,193
I think I'll have to buy this one meself!

160
00:14:27,398 --> 00:14:30,117
That's one sale we've made this morning!

161
00:14:30,278 --> 00:14:33,270
'Ey up! What about my money back?

162
00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:35,747
Granville, give the man his money back!

163
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:48,430
Oh, it's no good. I used to get m--more pleasure
than this out of c--counting money.

164
00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:52,477
I don't know what you're worried about.
It's you she's engaged to.

165
00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:55,391
We've never really c--cemented it, though.

166
00:14:55,558 --> 00:14:58,630
I've done a bit of p--pointing up once or twice.

167
00:15:01,398 --> 00:15:06,313
-- You've no proof he's planning to see her.
-- He's always fancied her, Granville.

168
00:15:06,478 --> 00:15:11,074
-- She's probably forgotten all about him!
-- He'll make sure she remembers him.

169
00:15:11,238 --> 00:15:16,028
Coming round here, brown as a nut,
doing tricks with his boomerang!

170
00:15:16,198 --> 00:15:18,917
Probably vice versa, and all!

171
00:15:19,078 --> 00:15:25,187
I never thought I'd live to see the day
that you gave somebody his money back!

172
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:29,795
Don't worry, when I get to heaven,
I shall p--plead insanity.

173
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:31,835
(SHOP BELL)

174
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,670
I'll go.

175
00:15:45,038 --> 00:15:47,347
There's a chip short here!

176
00:15:49,278 --> 00:15:53,510
-- Come in, Mrs Blake.
-- No, Granville. I'm not stopping.

177
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:57,432
I just popped in to enquire
if everything's all right.

178
00:15:57,598 --> 00:16:00,795
-- All right?
-- You hear such stories.

179
00:16:00,958 --> 00:16:03,995
-- It's not true, is it?
-- Is what true?

180
00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:08,868
Now, don't be offended.
I'm only repeating what I've heard.

181
00:16:09,038 --> 00:16:14,317
-- I shan't be offended.
-- I never believed it personally,

182
00:16:14,478 --> 00:16:17,231
but there's a whisper going around...

183
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,355
He gave Gordon Stackpool his money back.

184
00:16:21,518 --> 00:16:23,315
Oh!

185
00:16:24,078 --> 00:16:26,069
Aye, that's true.

186
00:16:26,238 --> 00:16:28,229
Ohhhh!

187
00:16:28,398 --> 00:16:31,071
I am sorry to hear that!

188
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:37,351
-- Is there anything we can do?
-- No, I don't think so, thanks, Mrs Blake.

189
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:40,908
We just have to hope it's gonna pass.

190
00:16:41,078 --> 00:16:43,512
Chin up, Granville!

191
00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:54,833
'Ere, it's true!
He gave Gordon Stackpool his money back!

192
00:16:54,998 --> 00:16:57,193
Never!

193
00:16:57,358 --> 00:16:59,553
Elsie?

194
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:03,870
It's true! He gave Gordon Stackpool
his money back!

195
00:17:04,038 --> 00:17:07,030
He's given Gordon Stackpool his money back!

196
00:17:09,118 --> 00:17:13,236
It's true! He gave Gordon Stackpool
his money back!

197
00:17:16,438 --> 00:17:19,475
Granville, have you got
a pair of eyebrow tweezers?

198
00:17:21,038 --> 00:17:26,396
I beg your pardon? Do I look the type
who has eyebrow tweezers about his person?

199
00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:31,757
-- Don't get your p--pinny in a knot!
-- I'm cultivating a macho look.

200
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:37,231
I refrain from shaving some days in order
to achieve this aggressive--looking stubble.

201
00:17:38,838 --> 00:17:43,992
And then some clown comes up and says,
"Can I borrow your eyebrow tweezers?"

202
00:17:44,718 --> 00:17:48,028
Listen, I don't mean your own personal ones.

203
00:17:48,198 --> 00:17:53,147
We sell them. They're on that card.
And get me a bottle of iodine and all.

204
00:17:53,318 --> 00:17:55,434
What do you want 'em for?

205
00:17:55,598 --> 00:18:00,388
I just knelt on a box of tomatoes
and I've got splinters in me knees.

206
00:18:00,558 --> 00:18:04,597
I didn't think tomatoes had splinters.
I thought they had pips!

207
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:10,717
Do you want a box round the ears?
I've got one out there, full of splinters!

208
00:18:10,878 --> 00:18:12,197
Ooh!

209
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:17,352
Personally, I expect to find these rumours
of his strange behaviour much exaggerated.

210
00:18:17,518 --> 00:18:21,033
-- Like his prices!
-- It's Granville I feel sorry for.

211
00:18:21,198 --> 00:18:23,837
Why do you feel sorry for Granville?

212
00:18:23,998 --> 00:18:27,547
I don't know. He's just got that sort of face.

213
00:18:27,718 --> 00:18:32,508
How can you not feel sorry for Granville?
Every time I see him, I want to cuddle him.

214
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:36,830
-- You're not usually so positive.
-- It's just maternal.

215
00:18:36,998 --> 00:18:39,592
I think it's just maternal!

216
00:18:40,358 --> 00:18:44,829
-- How can you tell?
-- I don't think you can till it's too late!

217
00:18:47,318 --> 00:18:51,834
-- Life's so complicated.
-- It is, unless you keep it in its place.

218
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:55,752
-- I thought I'd be used to it by now.
-- I'm not a religious woman,

219
00:18:55,918 --> 00:18:59,957
but if you say no to everything,
you can hardly tell the difference.

220
00:19:00,118 --> 00:19:03,110
Life is something we're given as a test.

221
00:19:03,278 --> 00:19:08,272
I think I've failed.
I used to look up to Mr Arkwright.

222
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:11,396
-- He could handle it.
-- He can afford to, at his prices!

223
00:19:11,558 --> 00:19:16,074
I thought he was unshakeable. Then you hear
stories about him giving money back.

224
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:21,232
I don't believe it. I'm confident we'll walk in
and find him just as he's always been.

225
00:19:31,158 --> 00:19:35,276
Oh, my God, he's gone completely! Come on!

226
00:19:37,118 --> 00:19:42,590
What's wrong with her? We missed a couple
of customers. You should have had them.

227
00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:45,716
Me? They were only here a couple of seconds.

228
00:19:45,878 --> 00:19:50,588
You were nearest. We can't afford to let
customers slip through our knees like that.

229
00:19:55,758 --> 00:19:59,273
-- It's f--frightening.
-- It's a rissole. Eat it.

230
00:20:03,518 --> 00:20:06,316
It's un--un--c--canny.

231
00:20:06,478 --> 00:20:11,154
Unfresh, maybe. Unwholesome, certainly.
Uncanny, never.

232
00:20:11,318 --> 00:20:13,991
Will you sh--shut up about this rissole?

233
00:20:14,158 --> 00:20:16,194
I'm talking about life!

234
00:20:16,358 --> 00:20:18,428
Life's not a rissole!

235
00:20:18,598 --> 00:20:23,194
All these years I've w--worked in the shop,
man and dogsbody,

236
00:20:23,358 --> 00:20:26,350
I've always had me mind on me work.

237
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:32,673
Even in me dad's day,
back there in that old shop in Canal Street,

238
00:20:32,838 --> 00:20:36,148
I've always been s--spurred on
by the profit motive.

239
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:40,914
Either that or a clip round the ear
or a kick up the back yard!

240
00:20:41,438 --> 00:20:45,590
If he were alive today, he'd t--turn in his grave!

241
00:20:46,118 --> 00:20:47,915
Pardon?

242
00:20:48,798 --> 00:20:51,915
And all because of a lousy Australian!

243
00:20:52,078 --> 00:20:54,911
Chalky is not Australian. Eat your rissole!

244
00:20:55,078 --> 00:20:58,627
I can't think of f--food at a t--time like this!

245
00:20:58,798 --> 00:21:01,870
I'm p--past caring. Haven't you done any carrots?

246
00:21:02,958 --> 00:21:06,507
You're past caring, but not past c--carrots!

247
00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:12,912
What kind of a meal is this for a fighting man?
No wonder my morale is low.

248
00:21:13,078 --> 00:21:18,072
-- A minute ago, you were past caring.
-- How do you know what I'm past?

249
00:21:18,238 --> 00:21:20,513
Perhaps I'm p--past it!

250
00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:23,749
What? Past what?

251
00:21:23,918 --> 00:21:25,237
It.

252
00:21:26,078 --> 00:21:28,308
That's what I'm p--past. It.

253
00:21:29,078 --> 00:21:32,434
-- What about "it"?
-- I'm past it. That's what about "it"!

254
00:21:34,198 --> 00:21:35,631
Rubbish!

255
00:21:36,638 --> 00:21:41,393
If you're still hungry when you're finished that,
I'll open a nice tin of peaches.

256
00:21:41,558 --> 00:21:43,947
Are they Australian?

257
00:21:45,198 --> 00:21:49,555
-- No, they're Californian.
-- That's all right, then.

258
00:21:49,718 --> 00:21:52,710
There's something strange about Australians.

259
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:57,110
It's all that walking about in the street
with short trousers on.

260
00:21:57,278 --> 00:21:59,792
Too much air to the b--brain!

261
00:22:00,958 --> 00:22:04,667
-- You're just jealous.
-- Course I am! I've a right to be jealous.

262
00:22:04,838 --> 00:22:07,557
Men don't like other men with their knees bare

263
00:22:07,718 --> 00:22:11,028
rat--tat--tatting on their fiancée's knockers!

264
00:22:11,198 --> 00:22:15,430
See if there's a big flash car
outside Nurse Gladys Emanuel's!

265
00:22:15,598 --> 00:22:19,477
No. I'm sure that all your fears
are groundless!

266
00:22:19,638 --> 00:22:22,471
Never mind the psychiatry! Have a look.

267
00:22:22,638 --> 00:22:24,629
Oh, 'eck!

268
00:22:35,918 --> 00:22:38,478
It was all right in y--your day.

269
00:22:38,638 --> 00:22:41,675
The most the enemy ever had were a pushbike!

270
00:22:43,918 --> 00:22:49,993
I regret to inform you that your groundless
fears have regained a bit of ground!

271
00:22:51,038 --> 00:22:52,391
What?

272
00:22:52,558 --> 00:22:55,948
There's a big flash car outside Nurse Gladys's!

273
00:22:56,118 --> 00:22:58,996
Oh, sh--sh--sherbet dabs!

274
00:23:08,038 --> 00:23:11,553
He's n--not getting away with it!
Where's he going to take her?

275
00:23:11,718 --> 00:23:13,993
Oh, could be anywhere.

276
00:23:14,158 --> 00:23:17,116
Big car like that. The world's his oyster.

277
00:23:17,278 --> 00:23:21,032
Paris, Monte Carlo...
Doncaster cattle market!

278
00:23:21,918 --> 00:23:25,706
F--F--Flamin' j--j--j--jet--s--set--s--s...jet--setter!

279
00:23:25,878 --> 00:23:28,187
Very succinctly put!

280
00:23:28,358 --> 00:23:32,636
-- No, he could go anywhere.
-- He's not going anywhere.

281
00:23:32,798 --> 00:23:37,428
-- How do you know?
-- 'Cause you're going to let his tyres down!

282
00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:42,193
-- Who? Me?
-- Yes, you. I'll help you. Come on.

283
00:23:42,358 --> 00:23:47,227
-- You're going round the bend.
-- I might be. But he's staying where he is!

284
00:23:47,398 --> 00:23:50,310
I'll g--give him M--Monte Carlo! Ready?

285
00:23:50,478 --> 00:23:55,188
-- It's quite illegal, you know!
-- Get over there. I'll take the back.

286
00:24:10,358 --> 00:24:13,191
(HISSING)

287
00:24:26,638 --> 00:24:29,277
(FRONT DOOR OPENS)

288
00:24:42,438 --> 00:24:45,475
(ENGINE REVS UP)

289
00:25:18,638 --> 00:25:23,029
-- You've done it now!
-- If it's not his car, whose is it?

290
00:25:23,198 --> 00:25:26,986
If he's f--flashing round on a big motorbike,
who owns this car?

291
00:25:27,158 --> 00:25:30,594
How the hell do I know who owns it?

292
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:35,717
(BOTH) That's who owns it!

293
00:25:38,958 --> 00:25:41,426
He's coming over here!

294
00:25:41,598 --> 00:25:46,308
You deal with him. Now's your chance
to put the Grocers' Federation Plan B into action.

295
00:25:46,478 --> 00:25:50,312
-- I never knew what Plan A was!
-- Plan A is talk things over calmly.

296
00:25:50,478 --> 00:25:53,072
-- What's Plan B?
-- Make a run for it!

297
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:57,397
Oi! Some swine's let all my tyres down!

298
00:26:01,398 --> 00:26:04,674
-- Ah.
-- You must have some hooligans round here.

299
00:26:06,878 --> 00:26:08,197
Ah.

300
00:26:09,158 --> 00:26:11,353
I wanna use your phone.

301
00:26:11,518 --> 00:26:12,917
Ah.

302
00:26:13,078 --> 00:26:17,674
-- "Ah!" You do speak English, do you?
-- Ah.

303
00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:20,197
Ah.

304
00:26:20,358 --> 00:26:22,314
Ah! Ah! Ah--so!

305
00:26:22,478 --> 00:26:24,514
Ah--so me--tong u--tong ning.

306
00:26:24,678 --> 00:26:27,670
Me--ho. Me--homa. Ah--so.

307
00:26:30,678 --> 00:26:31,997
Ah--so.

308
00:26:32,158 --> 00:26:35,787
Oh, no. Phone! Phone! Phone!

309
00:26:35,958 --> 00:26:38,313
Oh! Ah--so! Ah!

310
00:26:39,078 --> 00:26:41,751
Foam. Foam. Foam! Foam?

311
00:26:46,758 --> 00:26:50,148
-- Thanks for nothing!
-- You're welcome!

312
00:27:16,558 --> 00:27:18,310
Thanks, love!

313
00:27:20,758 --> 00:27:25,036
What have you got on, Arkwright?
What have you been up to?

314
00:27:25,198 --> 00:27:28,474
It's n--not what I've b--been up to and got on!

315
00:27:28,638 --> 00:27:32,631
It's what you've b--been up to and taken off
that I'm concerned with!

316
00:27:32,798 --> 00:27:34,675
Wh--Where have you been?

317
00:27:34,838 --> 00:27:39,992
If you must know, I've been on an emergency
mission to the mother of an old friend.

318
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,433
I s--saw your old friend!

319
00:27:42,598 --> 00:27:46,591
I also saw qu--quite a lot of your leg
at the same time.

320
00:27:46,758 --> 00:27:49,875
Why the motorbike?
What's the matter with his car?

321
00:27:50,038 --> 00:27:53,587
-- Whose car?
-- Chalky White, him with the space helmet.

322
00:27:53,758 --> 00:27:58,195
That wasn't Chalky White!
That was Muriel Hawkins' husband.

323
00:27:58,358 --> 00:28:01,714
Muriel's mother's poorly, you jealous great idiot!

324
00:28:01,878 --> 00:28:05,427
-- You haven't seen Chalky? Promise?
-- I've seen him.

325
00:28:05,598 --> 00:28:10,228
He called three days ago and I sent him packing.
I've never liked him.

326
00:28:10,398 --> 00:28:13,913
Oh, God bless you, Gladys Emanuel!

327
00:28:16,198 --> 00:28:19,554
Now, isn't it time silly old fools were in bed?

328
00:28:19,718 --> 00:28:22,073
I thought you'd never ask!

329
00:28:23,158 --> 00:28:25,388
You, out of it!

330
00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:27,557
Night--night!

331
00:28:27,718 --> 00:28:31,108
Goodnight, sweetheart!
See you in the morning!

332
00:28:36,598 --> 00:28:42,468
# Goodnight, sweetheart,
see you in the morning

333
00:28:42,638 --> 00:28:47,758
# Goodnight, sweetheart,
I'll g--grab you without warning

334
00:28:47,918 --> 00:28:52,708
# Da--da da--da da--da--da--da... #

335
00:29:04,198 --> 00:29:07,235
<i>Them women all think I've gone daft.</i>

336
00:29:07,398 --> 00:29:10,674
<i>Mrs Featherstone certainly thinks I'm daft.</i>

337
00:29:11,718 --> 00:29:16,234
<i>That big insurance man with the flash car,</i>
<i>he thinks Granville's daft.</i>

338
00:29:16,398 --> 00:29:18,707
<i>Mind you, he is daft.</i>

339
00:29:21,438 --> 00:29:26,228
<i>Yes, the world is mad tonight,</i>
<i>but Gladys still belongs to me...</i>

340
00:29:28,198 --> 00:29:31,634
<i>..if you can call sleeping in different beds</i>
<i>"belonging".</i>

341
00:29:31,798 --> 00:29:34,995
<i>Meanwhile, there's money to be made,</i>
<i>Arkwright.</i>

342
00:29:35,158 --> 00:29:39,151
<i>They'll all be trooping into the shop</i>
<i>tomorrow to see if I am mad.</i>

343
00:29:40,038 --> 00:29:42,871
<i>Dad, if you're listening up there,</i>

344
00:29:43,038 --> 00:29:45,313
<i>I am once more in control.</i>

345
00:29:45,478 --> 00:29:48,470
<i>Ready to hold high the bloodstained banner</i>

346
00:29:48,638 --> 00:29:52,153
<i>and pursue the creed</i>
<i>of small businessmen everywhere.</i>

347
00:29:52,318 --> 00:29:54,912
<i>"Fleece 'em for every penny they've got!"</i>