1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,960 - Why are you watching this? - It's on the Large Hadron Collider, 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,920 and I'm doing a physics project on it. 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,560 That? It's really cool. It can destroy the universe. 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,680 I can tell you everything you need to know about it. 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,080 It could create this black hole in Switzerland. 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,400 - Could you please just...? - So when you were being sucked through it, 7 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,360 there'd be Toberlones and clogs flying around your ears. 8 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,040 - Maybe you could get crushed by a windmill. - Windmill? 9 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,440 That could propel us into a parallel universe. 10 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,000 Wouldn't that be cool? 11 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,600 I could be the oldest one, 12 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,400 and you weren't even born, and we had a panther instead. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,760 - I need to concentrate on this... - We could have a penguin. 14 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,320 Mum, What's worse? 15 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,200 - serious or severe? - Mmm? 16 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,800 Well, the Welsh man on the telly said that the terrorist threat 17 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,600 has gone from serious to severe - is that worse? 18 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,760 - I'm not sure. - Well, I need to know what the terrorist threat is, 19 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,880 so I know how aware I need to be 20 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,040 when I'm on the lookout for suspect packages in the playground. 21 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,240 Listen, darling, honestly... 22 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,760 They'll blow up Big Ben before they'd get to my school, won't they? 23 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,160 'The Higgs boson was put forward as a hypothetical particle...' 24 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,600 The Higgs boson! That's named after two people, 25 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,120 Mr Higgs and Mr Boson, who discovered it. 26 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,000 Wouldn't it be cool to have a bacteria named after you, 27 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,000 which spread a bubonic plague, called the Ben-tron? 28 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,640 So, there's a bubonic plague called the Ben-tron? 29 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,800 - Or Brockman-on, or... - The Gay Idiot-atron. 30 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:29,240 Well, if you had one, you would be the, er, Stuck-Up Old Brother-tron. 31 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:33,000 - Who's gay. - I'm dangerously close to stabbing you with my pen. 32 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,520 Ben-on, the destructor! 33 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,160 Look... there's always been terrorism. 34 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,000 - I mean, when I was growing up, it was the Irish. - The Irish? 35 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,000 - Well, it's... - Are you sure? The Irish? 36 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:50,000 People like Graham Norton and Jedward? 37 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,520 You know, the universe should be, like, 38 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,800 contracting and getting smaller, 39 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,640 but it's expanding, and scientists have no idea how. 40 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,880 Which is kind of stupid, cos even I can think of some reasons why. 41 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,360 - Do you not...? - What if there's a rubber band, which, 42 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,920 I don't know, the protectors of the universe have put around it 43 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,240 to try and keep it the same size? 44 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,040 What if there's, like, a massive mutant alien fish 45 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,960 which is trying to go to the toilet, 46 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,440 but then it isn't working, so the universe is getting bigger... 47 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,800 The universe is trying to go to the toilet? 48 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,040 A fish with the universe inside it is trying to 49 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,840 - go to the toilet. - What are you...? 50 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,200 How come I, an 11-year-old boy, can think of that 51 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,360 and then scientists can't? 52 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:34,720 But the Irish, they're jolly, they're happy and fun. 53 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,360 - No, it... - So you're saying that they're going to bomb us too? 54 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,840 That's not very reassuring. 55 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,120 The Irish are lovely people. It's just a tiny, tiny few... 56 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,080 Now I have to worry about... 57 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,120 Look, look some risks are so minimal that 58 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,680 they're just not even worth worrying about. 59 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,720 You're more likely to be hit by lightning. 60 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,160 People can get hit by lightning?! 61 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:03,640 - I thought it was only trees! - It is mostly trees. 62 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:09,240 Well, scientifically, tall people get hit by lightning first? 63 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,680 Erm... 64 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,640 - Right? - Yep, scientifically speaking, I think that is correct. 65 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:20,360 Sorry I'm late. Passenger action at Victoria. 66 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,320 I think they might have lynched a driver. 67 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,800 ARGUING IN THE NEXT ROOM 68 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:24,920 What's all that noise? 69 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,760 They're having a fight about the origins of the universe. 70 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,400 - Tea? - Yes, please. 71 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:33,000 - When time are we setting off? - In about quarter of an hour. 72 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,080 - So what was today's school like? - Tough. 73 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:38,120 - I'm one of 13 supply teachers. - 13? 74 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,160 My class's most popular excuse seems to be, "My pit bull ate my homework." 75 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,400 Dad, what's worse, serious or severe? 76 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,880 - Eh? - She saw something about the terrorist threat. 77 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,720 Hey, listen, you don't want to worry about all that. 78 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,080 Did you know that, statistically, 79 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:58,640 this is the safest time ever to be a child in England? 80 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,560 - But Ben got mugged. - Yeah, I know, but in the 1500s, 81 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,720 he would have probably died in a crusade or caught the plague. 82 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,760 No, he got mugged today. 83 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,400 - What, again? - Afraid so. Same spot. Ratley Road. 84 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,520 Just heard your news, Ben. You all right? 85 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,800 Eh? Oh, yeah. 86 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,560 I didn't know the squirrel was going to do that. 87 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,440 No, I mean you being mugged. 88 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,800 They said they had a knife - they always say that. 89 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,440 I didn't have my phone with me, so they just took my geometry kit. 90 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,600 - What's the school doing about this? - Well, what can they do? 91 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,720 I've got off quite lightly. 92 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,200 Ibrahim's been mugged five times. Same boys. 93 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,000 He asked them if he could have a loyalty card. 94 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,120 That's actually quite funny. 95 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,640 It's wrong, though, isn't it, the way it's just being accepted? 96 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,400 It means there's a whole generation of kids growing up 97 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,920 just expecting to be robbed. 98 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,160 Can I become a Catholic? 99 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,200 You want to become a Catholic? 100 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,640 I can, can't I? The Pope's giving out invitations. 101 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,160 - Well, yeah, but... - But what? 102 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,920 Well, it would be easier for you to become a Catholic if you... 103 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,920 believed in God. 104 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,720 I only stopped believing in him because he was annoying me, 105 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,080 sending earthquakes and tsunamis. 106 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,080 Also, whenever I asked for something or anything, 107 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,040 he would always just ignore me. 108 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,720 So, why do you want to be a Catholic? 109 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,760 Because I want to go to the same big school as Tanya, 110 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,920 and she's going to a Catholic school. 111 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:30,400 Tanya. Right, well, we've talked about this, haven't we, darling? 112 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,600 And just because Tanya's doing something doesn't mean to say 113 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,960 that you have to do it too. 114 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:40,360 But I like Tanya, Tanya's my friend. Don't you like her? 115 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,440 Dad! 116 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,560 Why have I got to look after Karen? 117 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,440 Because me and Mum and Ben are going to be at Ben's parents' evening. 118 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:56,120 Oh, yeah, by the way, if Mr Hunslet mentions, er, Lucy Barker 119 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,120 and the formaldehyde, that was a misunderstanding. 120 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,280 How can I have a proper band practice 121 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,280 with a nine-year-old in tow? 122 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,080 Just stick her in the corner. She can read or draw or... 123 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,640 - ...learn the catechism. - What? 124 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,880 Look, all I'm saying is, just because Tanya 125 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,840 and her twice-divorced mother want to become Catholics 126 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:19,560 to get into this school, it doesn't mean you have to follow suit. 127 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,960 But I like Tanya. She's my friend. 128 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,400 She picked me to be in her entourage. 129 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,680 Yeah, well, a friend shouldn't outrank you. 130 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,880 FIREWORKS EXPLODE 131 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:35,800 Bloody hell, fireworks in daytime. It's fireworks all year now. 132 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,920 Do you remember when it used to be Fireworks Night? Just one night. 133 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,840 Just like it used to be Christmas Day. 134 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:44,640 Christmas starts in mid-October now. 135 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,440 Halloween costumes are on sale in August. I'd ban Halloween. 136 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,280 You can't ban Halloween. But you should ban Guy Fawkes Night - 137 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,920 all the bangs from the fireworks are cruel to the pets. 138 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,840 They scare them. 139 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,320 That's not fair on the pets. 140 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,640 Also, can we have a pet? 141 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,120 We've tried pets, and... 142 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,480 But I don't mean like a goldfish or something you flush down a toilet. 143 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:09,920 I mean an actual mammal, a dog or a cat or a gerbil. Or an ocelot. 144 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,280 An ocelot? 145 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,440 It's a kind of leopard, 146 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,800 but small enough to put in a car when you go away. 147 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,840 You can't keep jungle animals in houses. 148 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,040 Michael Jackson had a chimpanzee, and it only attacked two people. 149 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:25,800 Mmm, lots of candles and lovely spangly costumes. 150 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,600 - You can't have a chimp. - How about a skunk, then? 151 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,400 You can't keep skunks as pets, Ben. 152 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,720 You can. A boy in school keeps them. And he wants to sell some. 153 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,840 What, he keeps skunks? 154 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:41,400 - Yeah. A boy in Jake's year. Oliver. - No. - He does. Ibrahim told me. 155 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,000 He said, "Oliver in year 11 has got some skunk to sell." 156 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,920 That should be "skunks", shouldn't it? 157 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,680 Or is it a plural that stays the same, like "sheep"? 158 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,440 Why can't we say "sheeps"? It must be really confusing for shepherds. 159 00:07:55,440 --> 00:08:00,360 Actually, Ben, why don't you go and, um, collect all your dirty laundry 160 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,800 and divide it up into colours, whites and darks? 161 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,440 - What, all my dirty laundry? - Yes. 162 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,080 - MUTTERS: - The woman's laundry-obsessed! 163 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,280 Skunk?! 164 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,840 - That's dope, isn't it? - Strong dope. 165 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,360 And Jake's mate is selling it! 166 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:20,880 Whoa, we've got this from Ben, via Ibrahim - that is like reading a... 167 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:24,960 Wikipedia entry posted by Jeffrey Archer. 168 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,400 We shouldn't jump to any conclusions. 169 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,240 No, no, you're right. 170 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,640 I bet he is selling dope, though. 171 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:35,720 - Sue! - Well, he's the type. Alternative, wears skinny jeans. 172 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,200 - There isn't... - What if he's been selling it to Jake? 173 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,960 I told you he's been hiding something. He's been very... 174 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,080 We should just take it one step at a time. 175 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,680 - We have to broach it with him. Jake! - Oh, for God's sake. 176 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:51,680 - Let's take it nice and gently. - OK. Jake! Can you come in here, please? 177 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,600 We don't want him on the defensive. That'll get us nowhere. 178 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,440 - No, fair enough. - Yeah, what is it? 179 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:04,160 Jake we, um... We'd just welcome your input on something. 180 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:09,480 - It's come to our attention... Well, you know your mate Olly? - Yeah. 181 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,960 - Well... - Is he selling drugs? 182 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,440 - What?! - Is he selling skunk? 183 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,520 No! Where on earth did you get that? 184 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,640 Well, it was just something that Ben heard. 185 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,880 Ben?! You're basing this on information from Ben? 186 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,800 - Something he heard and didn't understand... - You're actually listening to Ben, 187 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,920 the boy who told his class that he saw Barack Obama in Lidl's? 188 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,320 - Yes, but... - I'm not doing drugs! - We're not saying you are! 189 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,840 - No, you're accusing my friend Olly of being a pusher! - No, no, no... 190 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,880 - Are there kids pushing drugs? - Yes, obviously, it's a school! 191 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,720 But I'm not doing drugs, and Olly's not selling drugs. 192 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:45,840 So why did Ben...? 193 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,840 - Oh, this is a joke! - Then why did Ben say...? - This is a total joke! 194 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,840 - Why did Ben say... - You're both a joke! - ..a kid called Oliver... 195 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,040 - Pathetic. - ..in your year... - It's not the same Oliv... 196 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,120 This is so stupid! Why am I even standing here 197 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,440 and listening and answering these questions?! 198 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,200 He was going to say it's not that Oliver. 199 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,400 That's what he was going to say. 200 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,000 Can I have a rat? Michael Jackson had a rat. 201 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,080 And he wrote a song about a rat called Ben, 202 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:16,320 and it was a sort of rat Spartacus. It led a rat rebellion against humanity. 203 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,480 Did you name me after it, Ben? 204 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:22,320 Strangely, we didn't name any of our children after psychotic rodents. 205 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:26,880 - What about a micro pig? - Oh, yeah. John at work bought a micro pig. 206 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,000 Weighs more than him, lives in his bathroom. 207 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,680 What about Tasmanian devils? 208 00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:33,880 Because they're endangered, and we could, yeah, we could have, 209 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,840 like, a captive breeding programme and then... 210 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,640 Captive breeding programme? 211 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,800 Later, we could post them back to Australia. 212 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,640 - How do you post a Tasmanian devil? - Recorded delivery. 213 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,880 - What about pandas? - OK, Ben! That's... 214 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,360 - What about a chameleon? Because... - Chameleon? 215 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,680 - ..they change colour... - Not now! - You could have games with them, 216 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,520 cos you could put one in front of the TV, change the channel 217 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,920 and see how fast it keeps up. 218 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,280 - Ben! - What about a zebra? 219 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,680 OK, Ben, that's enough! 220 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:02,320 - Scorpions would be good. They're too small to do much. - Apart from kill you. 221 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,880 You're meant to be sorting out the laundry. 222 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,920 - Can you go upstairs now, please? - It was only a suggestion. 223 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:12,720 Clearly, from what Jake all but said, there is a boy in his year 224 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:17,840 called Oliver selling drugs, and according to his year list, 225 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,600 there's only one other boy in the year called Oliver, 226 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,520 and it's that one. 227 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,920 - Do we know him? - Well, he only came this year, bit of a golden boy, 228 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,400 captain of the football team. 229 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,880 - All right, sweetheart? - If I become a Catholic, 230 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,520 will I be allowed to eat bacon? 231 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,760 - Yes. - Oh, that's all right, then. 232 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,440 - We can't just sit on this information. - I don't know, Sue. 233 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,440 If Jake was selling drugs and some other parents found out, 234 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,560 you'd want them to tell us, wouldn't you? 235 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,480 Yeah, but what evidence do we quote? 236 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:49,200 Some slip of the tongue from Jake and some gossip from Ben. 237 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,320 Oh, it's such a difficult call. 238 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,600 If we get it wrong, it could all get very messy. 239 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,880 - It could make life very tricky for Jake. - Yeah, maybe I'm overreacting. 240 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,880 - I mean, it is only one kid. - Do I really need to go to this? 241 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,520 It's your first parents, evening, 242 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:08,320 and it's so everybody can discuss how you're settling in. 243 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,920 - But I'm settling in fine. I mean, they gave us mentors. - Mentors? 244 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,720 - That's a good idea. - I got given a year ten called Andrew. 245 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,360 Right. And what sort of helpful stuff has he told you? 246 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,960 He says there's no CCTV behind the cricket nets, 247 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,520 and to remember they can't search your underpants. 248 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,600 Can we get a tiger, then? Because I saw this video 249 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,960 on YouTube of two people who had a pet tiger 250 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,200 in their house, and it was fine, 251 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:35,000 provided you that you don't turn your back on the tiger. 252 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,360 - Because then it might mistake you for prey. - Is that so? 253 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,120 OK, everyone, let's go! 254 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,600 If I'm a Catholic, will I be allowed to drink alcohol? 255 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,360 It's virtually compulsory. 256 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,360 Why couldn't I go to Tanya's instead? 257 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,600 Because she didn't invite you. 258 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:56,880 - Well, Tanya's fun. I'm bored with this family. - All right, Karen. 259 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,160 Couldn't I have at least stayed home instead? 260 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,920 Well, that would be illegal, Karen, 261 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,520 - because nine-year-olds have to be with someone. - Why? 262 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,200 I don't know. Imagine something happened. What if there was a fire? 263 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:12,320 If there was a fire, I would leave the house in an orderly fashion, 264 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,040 - assemble myself at the fire-assembly point... - Karen. 265 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,920 - ..and await further instructions. - Right, well... 266 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:22,320 - Where is our fire-assembly point? - Well, we haven't got one, really. 267 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,920 You tell me all these things 268 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,560 about being a responsible parent and stuff, 269 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:29,320 but you don't even have a fire-assembly point. 270 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,400 So, if I look after her, 271 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,400 I can go to Max's after band practice? That's the deal, yeah? 272 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,200 - Yeah, OK. - Right, come on, Karen. 273 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,720 Oh, what do you know, a policeman. Cos you really need one here. 274 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,320 Ready to kettle the threat to public order that is a parents' evening. 275 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,840 We could report Ben's mugging. 276 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,840 Yeah, OK. No, he's one of those toy policemen. 277 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,480 He'll only give us a leaflet. OK, Ben. 278 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:52,760 Hey, Ibrahim! 279 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:57,600 - Oh, no, no, Ben, don't wander off! - Hello, there! - Oh, hi! 280 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,280 I wasn't expecting to see you. 281 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:04,520 Yes, well we've got a daughter in this year, Kara. 282 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:08,080 Pete, this is Jenny and Martin. Oliver's parents. 283 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:13,720 Oh, right, Oliver, the...star. 284 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:21,280 Yes, well, he's settled in really quickly. Thank goodness. 285 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,800 Because we had to take him out of his old school. 286 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,400 We had no choice, really, 287 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,960 because there was a boy selling drugs to pupils. 288 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:34,320 - Can you believe that? - God. 289 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,360 The truth of it is the whole school was awash with drugs. 290 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,840 Apparently, it's a lot better now. 291 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,240 Is it? Well, actually... well... 292 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,200 They should've got to the bottom of it, 293 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,160 found out the facts and acted on them. 294 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,120 - Martin's a lawyer. - Right. A lawyer. 295 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,520 - Well, we're suing them, obviously. - Suing them. 296 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,440 To be honest, you can't just blame the school. 297 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,400 Some of the parents must have known. 298 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,880 I mean, if someone knew your kid was involved with drugs, 299 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,360 you'd want them to tell you, wouldn't you? 300 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:09,800 - Ah... - Well, absolutely. We... We... We'd want them to tell... 301 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:15,920 - We...would? - Exactly! - Well, interestingly... 302 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,360 Ooh, Mr Maynard's free. Sorry, if we can just nip in. Catch you later. 303 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,360 We've got to tell them now. 304 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,080 You heard what she said, and she's right. 305 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,720 - Yes, but we still can't be sure that their son.... - Come on! 306 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,640 What they said all but confirmed it. 307 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:35,120 Come on, Mr Blain's free. Don't worry about the smell, it's him. 308 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:42,520 I think I'll do like a big, raspy, Kings Of Leon vocal on this one. 309 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,640 - Go easy, don't forget your asthma. - Do you play Michael Buble songs? 310 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,680 (LAUGHS) No! 311 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,880 But you like Michael Buble. 312 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,920 No, I don't! She's getting confused. 313 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:58,280 But you sing along with him in his videos. 314 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:03,160 Yes, ironically! I'm being ironic, sending him up. 315 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,000 - So whose songs do you play? - We write our own songs. 316 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,760 - Ooh. Are these the lyrics? - No! 317 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,080 Why does he want to do that to his bitch? 318 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,680 Hi, Mr Blain. Do you want Ben to sit in? 319 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,000 Actually, Ben, erm... 320 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,080 Why don't you relax over there while I have a chat with your mum and dad? 321 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,480 Okey-dokey. 322 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,200 The first thing I should say about Ben is that he's very bright. 323 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:35,280 But in teaching terms, he is...quite...erm... 324 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,040 He's quite... He's quite... 325 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,160 - He's quite challenging. - Challenging? 326 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,840 He's challenging, yeah. Erm... 327 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,320 But don't get me wrong, 328 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,000 I find no fault at all with his enthusiasm for chemistry, 329 00:16:54,000 --> 00:17:00,720 none at all, it's just that combination of energy and curiosity 330 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:05,640 and impulsiveness, it does cause certain health-and-safety issues. 331 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,800 Is there anything we can do? 332 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,920 Possibly, um... 333 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:14,520 If you could get him to address his fascination for sulphuric acid... 334 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,880 - Mr and Mrs Brockman. - Hi, do you want Ben to...? 335 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,000 Ben, why don't you relax over there 336 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,640 while we chat through the boring stuff, eh? 337 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,360 Right, well, teaching Ben is very, um... 338 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,520 ..stimulating, and he's got a real passion for history. 339 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:45,360 Which is good, obviously, although it can have a downside. 340 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,960 For instance, his presentation about the Middle Ages. 341 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,440 - Is this his re-enactment of the symptoms of the Black Death? - Yes. 342 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,080 Quite a few pupils found it very frightening. 343 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,720 In fact, Lucy Barker was off school for two days. 344 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,760 I should have checked what he was planning to do, 345 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,520 although it was very sudden, 346 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,480 the way he threw himself to the ground 347 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,080 and started frothing at the mouth. 348 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,920 That was... Well, I still haven't worked out how he did that. 349 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,840 Can I go for a walk? 350 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:17,680 - No, I'm responsible for you. - Then where's the fire-assembly point? 351 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,080 Up my arse. 352 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,720 You're Tanya's big brother, aren't you? 353 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:27,240 - That's right. - Tanya's cool. I'm one of her friends. - Are you? 354 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:31,480 - Yeah, I'm turning Catholic. - Really? 355 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,560 - So, which dwarf are you, then? - What? 356 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,840 Tanya gives all her friends dwarf-y nicknames. 357 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,680 Dopey, Grumpy, Frumpy, Stinky, Clingy. Which are you? 358 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,760 - I dunno. - I think you might be Clingy. 359 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,640 Karen, you're getting in the way. Just go and sit over there. 360 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,480 THEY PLAY 361 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:57,160 Hello, Mr and Mrs Brockman. Hello, Ben. Actually... 362 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,040 I'll go and sit over there. 363 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:05,880 Well, teaching Ben is very, very...special. 364 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,920 - Right. - The first term, it's always hard settling in. 365 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,160 Yeah, it must be weird for him, having an older brother here. 366 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,520 A brother? 367 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,520 Yes, Jake Brockman, year 11. 368 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:19,640 - Jake? Ben is Jake's brother? - Yes. 369 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,720 - Jake is Ben's brother? - Yes. 370 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,840 Right, not a half-brother with a different...? 371 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,720 No, brother. 372 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,280 Right, crikey. 373 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,280 - It's clearly four and four! - No, it's not, it's two and four! 374 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:38,200 - Your guitar sounds stupid anyway! - It's two and four! 375 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,720 This is so difficult. 376 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,880 - Maybe you're right, maybe we should just tell them. - It's just... 377 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,720 Excuse me. 378 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,080 Any chance we could just nip in ahead of you? 379 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,560 You're Ben's parents, so you might take quite a long time. 380 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,720 No, be our guest. Where is Ben? 381 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,640 He's over there, playing imaginary cricket with Ibrahim. 382 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,360 - Hello again. - Oh, hello. 383 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,840 - Are you waiting to see Mr Hunslet? - Yes. 384 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,160 - About Ben? - Yes. 385 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,240 - Is there any chance we could...? - Please, go ahead. 386 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,200 Is Kara with you? 387 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,680 - Oh, no, her brother's looking after her at home. - Oliver? 388 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,040 Good grief, no! No, George, our eldest. 389 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,440 Oliver doesn't do babysitting. 390 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,280 He's bought a scooter, so he's whizzing about everywhere, 391 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,840 all hours of the day and night. 392 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,840 - One of his friends rings up and he's off, all over town. - That's nice. 393 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,240 Look, the thing is... 394 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,640 Yes? 395 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,200 - Well, the thing is... - What? 396 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,720 This is the thing. 397 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,240 Ralph's Great Dane has just had puppies, we could... 398 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,560 - No, we couldn't. - Don't shout! 399 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,400 - How were you going to tell them? - I've really no idea. 400 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,000 I just set off before I'd worked it out. 401 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,120 Maybe we should tell the school, let them deal with it. 402 00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,520 Erm... 403 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,480 Yes, we are, and no, you can't. 404 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,000 Mr and Mrs Brockman. 405 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:21,360 As Ben's form teacher, I'm here to give the overview, as it were, 406 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,240 and I have to say I find Ben... 407 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,160 Challenging. Stimulating? Special? 408 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:32,400 No, I was going to say a pain in the arse, if I'm honest. 409 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,720 Oh, OK, fair enough. 410 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,640 I mean, very bright and all that, and very popular, 411 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,640 but, I mean, there've been quite a few issues. 412 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,400 - OK, let's see what we've got here. - He's got his own file? 413 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,280 Oh, yes. 414 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,120 SOBBING 415 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,040 But those 19 incidents apart, 416 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,680 you know, he is slowly settling in. Anything you'd like to ask me? 417 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,000 Well, this doesn't relate to Ben, 418 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:22,760 but we are concerned that there may be a drug problem in the school. 419 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,280 - Is this an official complaint? - Erm...we're not sure. 420 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,000 Because obviously, if it was an official complaint, 421 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,720 the school would have to take it extremely seriously, 422 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:36,120 and that would... That would set in motion a number of procedures... 423 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:37,960 Good, well... 424 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,960 Provided there was evidence, hard evidence... 425 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:46,240 - Do you have hard evidence? - Well, um...ish. 426 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:52,640 Well, not first-hand evidence, as such. 427 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,440 More, erm... 428 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,280 More, second-hand evidence. 429 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,080 Sort of...rumour... 430 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,280 from a...source. 431 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,200 How reliable is this source? 432 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,280 - BEN: - I can't kill him! 433 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,800 W-We don't want to make an official complaint. 434 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:20,120 Alrighty, well, if that's everything. Only... 435 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:22,440 Actually, there is something else. 436 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:26,320 Ben has already been mugged twice this term. 437 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:30,320 - Class average, I'm afraid. - What's the school going to do about it? 438 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,760 - Well, what can we do? - You could ask for plain-clothes patrols... 439 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,000 We've suggested that, but the police say 440 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,200 they have other manpower priorities. 441 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,320 Like booking me for speeding at two in the morning 442 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,040 on a perfectly clear road. 443 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,480 Look, I happen to be a teacher, 444 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,080 and I feel that this school is not taking 445 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,840 its responsibilities seriously enough. 446 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,080 You have a duty of care. 447 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,800 Whose child is this, please? 448 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,880 Only I found her wandering in the car park. 449 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,080 OK, settle down. No gymnastics, all right? 450 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,240 What do you make of my teachers? I'd like to be a teacher. 451 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,560 You want to be a teacher? 452 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,040 - If the wrestling doesn't work out. - A teacher? 453 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,240 Yeah, like you, but less moany. 454 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:21,040 Teaching's great, because you go on school trips even when you're old. 455 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,440 Yeah, I mean, obviously, teaching is...brilliant, 456 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,240 but there are other career options that you... 457 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,560 - I'd like a job involving travel. - Like? 458 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,200 - An explorer, or a human cannonball. - Human cannonball? 459 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,880 I could be a doctor, I guess. 460 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,200 Now, that's... That's good. 461 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,120 And then, when I get good enough, 462 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:43,280 I could create an eight-foot, massive human with bullet-proof skin. 463 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,840 - I was thinking of healing. - And laser vision. 464 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,480 When you're dead, I could take your arm, and then maybe one of your legs. 465 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,680 Cos you're quite tall. 466 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,320 - I haven't got an organ-donor card. - You'd be dead! 467 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,640 - I'm not sure these are careers. - I could be a Paratrooper. 468 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,040 I'm not really sure if they have parachutes or not. 469 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:03,160 Well, you'd hope they would. How are they going to land? 470 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,920 You're right, Mummy. Tanya is a right cow. 471 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,880 I never said that. 472 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,880 Yes, you did, to Daddy, when you didn't know I was on the toilet. 473 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:17,840 I think I need some new friends. I'll go on Facebook tomorrow and get some. 474 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,840 And I don't want to be Catholic anymore. 475 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,360 Right. 476 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:25,280 They have all these silly rules about women, 477 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:29,200 and I think it would have been hard for me to become Pope. 478 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,840 Well, it's their loss. 479 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,320 Or I could be, like, an overlord, or warlord, 480 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:41,400 and, like, I sit in my big, kind of, throne room, 481 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,120 with one of my dead enemies as a footrest. 482 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:47,560 It's much easier just getting a degree and then... 483 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:51,120 Yeah, but then for that you've got to do all that work... 484 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:55,800 These are all interesting career options, but I think you could aim a bit higher. 485 00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:00,680 Because unusual kids like you often end up doing something exceptional. 486 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,480 I'm unusual? How am I unusual? 487 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,720 You know... 488 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,720 You're... There's a thing... 489 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,280 Night night. 490 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,120 Can I become Archbishop of Canterbury? 491 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,400 - Maybe one day. - What's Canterbury like? 492 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,720 Does it have a Nandos? 493 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,120 Probably. 494 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,640 Ben did a drawing of me as a dragon. 495 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,440 I rather liked that. 496 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,960 I've just put the milk bottles out. 497 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,640 There are two foxes sitting, waiting by the gate. 498 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,800 - Well, it's bins night. - Jake's late. 499 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,480 - Back by 10:30, we said. - What time is it now? 500 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,200 10:33. Shall we ring him? 501 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,160 - Best not, it'll feel like we're anxious. - But I am anxious. 502 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,360 So am I, but we don't want to communicate 503 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,640 our anxiousnessness-ness to him, do we? 504 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,160 I suppose you're right. I could text him. 505 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,480 It's a less anxious version of a phone call. 506 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,680 - No, look, he's only a few minutes late, he'll be back in a sec. - OK. 507 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,040 SIREN WAILS 508 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,120 If he's not back by 10:38, I'll text him. 509 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:12,960 - 10:40 maybe. - Yeah, 10:40. 510 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,600 We were right to let him stay out, weren't we? 511 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,800 Yeah, of course we were. 512 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,040 You've got to let them take risks. It's just working out which ones. 513 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:27,640 I am going to have a chat with Ben about the sulphuric acid, tomorrow. 514 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,840 I didn't want to make him excited at bedtime. 515 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,680 10:35. I could text him, I could make it jokey. 516 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,720 We said 10:40. 517 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,320 TV: 'The body of a young man...' 518 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,560 Text him. 519 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,360 DOOR OPENS 520 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:50,280 - Hi. - Hi. - Hiya. - Sorry, the bus took ages. You weren't worried, were you? 521 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,960 - Good God, no. Not in the least. - Not in the slightest. 522 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,600 Right, well, I'll just go up to bed then. 523 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,960 - Night night. - Night night, nice to have you back. 524 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:03,720 - Why did you say that for? - I don't know. 525 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,960 You've communicated anxiety to him now. 526 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,040 I couldn't help it, it just came out. 527 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,200 Do you think that Oliver tried selling drugs to Jake? 528 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,240 Well, maybe. 529 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:17,280 I don't know we just have to trust in his commonsense, don't we? 530 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,520 Suppose so. We did do the right thing 531 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,960 about Oliver and the drugs, didn't we? 532 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,200 We couldn't just sit on that information, 533 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,240 that would have been irresponsible. 534 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,200 We had to tackle it somehow. 535 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,280 And we were right to bring it to the attention of the school. 536 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,520 They won't know that anonymous note was from us, will they? 537 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,320 No, I did it in block capitals, we'll be fine. 538 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,280 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 539 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,360 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk