1 00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:02,995 so we've been called out To his hiking trail 2 00:00:03,030 --> 00:00:05,523 Because there's some reports That some teenagers 3 00:00:05,558 --> 00:00:08,017 Are digging bags of dog poop Out of the trash 4 00:00:08,052 --> 00:00:09,545 And having dog poop fights. 5 00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:11,758 i don't believe it. 6 00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:26,983 Oh, my god, it's real. 7 00:00:27,018 --> 00:00:29,985 uh, yeah, i'm not gonna- I'm not gonna go deal with this. 8 00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:30,651 I'm leaving. 9 00:00:32,919 --> 00:00:33,544 hey. 10 00:00:34,173 --> 00:00:34,786 Hey. 11 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:40,041 Hello? Boys. I am leslie knope. I work for the department Of parks and recreation. 12 00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:43,985 Okay. All right. 13 00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:47,142 Cool it. Okay. No! Ahh! 14 00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,183 That's disgusting. What are you doing? 15 00:00:49,218 --> 00:00:52,720 No! Oh! Help! Help! 16 00:00:52,755 --> 00:00:56,187 Tom! Tom! Ahh! No! Ahh! 17 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,972 Oh, it smells so bad. Oh! Oh! 18 00:00:59,007 --> 00:01:01,308 What would you think This was fun? Ow! 19 00:01:01,343 --> 00:01:03,969 Oh, really? Oh, really? Oh, really? Oh, hey, hey. 20 00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:11,071 Okay. Okay, here we go. Who wants it? 21 00:01:11,106 --> 00:01:13,546 Ha, ha. Whoo, missed it. 22 00:01:15,455 --> 00:01:19,312 Yeah, oh! Actually, this is a little fun. 23 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:20,639 This is fun. 24 00:01:45,593 --> 00:01:47,418 Oh, hey, tom, Check it out. 25 00:01:47,453 --> 00:01:49,610 Norton construction Just sent this over. 26 00:01:49,945 --> 00:01:51,242 whoa, mama. 27 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,993 i love great lakes wine. 28 00:01:53,028 --> 00:01:56,303 you can have the wine. I wanna take that cheese And do terrible things to it. 29 00:01:56,338 --> 00:01:59,434 oh, dah, dah, dah. No, no, no, no, no. 30 00:01:59,977 --> 00:02:06,086 You know as well as i do That we are not allowed To accept gifts over $25 For corruptioneasons. 31 00:02:06,121 --> 00:02:08,984 We live in a fish bowl, and The public is always watching. 32 00:02:09,019 --> 00:02:12,456 That's why i go Two towns over If i want to rent a movie With nudity in it. 33 00:02:13,607 --> 00:02:14,984 yeah, i probably Shouldn't have said that. 34 00:02:15,019 --> 00:02:17,736 But you cannot Enjoy this basket. I'm so sorry. 35 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,453 So to avoid temptation I'm gonna lock it up. 36 00:02:20,873 --> 00:02:24,583 when you're In the government, There's a million ways To exploit your power. 37 00:02:24,585 --> 00:02:26,411 Have i ever given in To that temptation? 38 00:02:26,474 --> 00:02:28,858 No, never. I'm not that kind Of politician. 39 00:02:28,893 --> 00:02:32,315 Official parks and rec Business. I just need to grab A quick hot dog. 40 00:02:32,316 --> 00:02:34,276 Sorry about that, Little girl. You can have the next one. 41 00:02:34,311 --> 00:02:36,817 I have a moral code, And i never violate it. 42 00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,442 People look at me And they say, 43 00:02:38,477 --> 00:02:42,350 "wow, tom, You are so pure. "you're like a brown superman With a beard 44 00:02:42,385 --> 00:02:45,962 "that just stands For justice and truth And the american way. " 45 00:02:47,069 --> 00:02:52,741 so, ann, I asked april to create One of those social network Internet profiles For the sullivan street pit. 46 00:02:52,776 --> 00:02:54,539 So are you guys ready For the debut? 47 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:58,913 yes, can we cut That red ribbon Around your monitor now? absolutely. I love a good ribbon cutting. 48 00:03:01,656 --> 00:03:06,099 Oh, april, that's good. Kids. hey, look, the pit Already has six friends. 49 00:03:07,837 --> 00:03:11,726 oh, yeah, mark. Mark's a friend. who Gotta see mark's profile. 50 00:03:11,761 --> 00:03:15,581 Look at the photos Of these ladies on his page. wow. sick. 51 00:03:15,616 --> 00:03:19,693 maybe those Are his relatives. yeah, maybe fake boobs Run in his family. 52 00:03:19,728 --> 00:03:22,862 look at this lady. She's got a thong on her face. 53 00:03:22,897 --> 00:03:25,985 oh, my god, his favorite Movie isdances with wolves. okay, we're good. 54 00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:27,886 We'll keep Checking in on this. 55 00:03:27,921 --> 00:03:32,008 where is mark anyway? attending Yet another meeting Of the old boys' club. 56 00:03:32,043 --> 00:03:36,039 Politics is full Of boys' clubs, Formal and informal. 57 00:03:36,074 --> 00:03:40,134 Behind me are all the members Of the city council Over the past 30 years. 58 00:03:40,169 --> 00:03:43,466 And every day, As a woman, I have to walk past This wall of men. 59 00:03:43,501 --> 00:03:46,280 It can be very upsetting, Especially because Of that guy. 60 00:03:47,343 --> 00:03:50,283 No matter What direction i move, He's always staring At my chest. 61 00:03:51,289 --> 00:03:54,080 See? 62 00:03:54,244 --> 00:03:57,801 what are they doing Out there? wheeling and dealing. 63 00:03:57,836 --> 00:04:00,287 Divvying up the empire. 64 00:04:00,944 --> 00:04:04,114 eh, my wife Got me this shirt. She swears it makes me Look thinner. 65 00:04:04,149 --> 00:04:05,592 it kinda does. 66 00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:09,296 you know what we should do? Let's go out there. Let's bust up That old boys' club. 67 00:04:09,331 --> 00:04:12,472 We're doing great work In the government. We deserve to be included. 68 00:04:12,507 --> 00:04:15,341 sure, yeah, I could use a beer. yes, ann, that's good. Think like a man. 69 00:04:15,376 --> 00:04:18,175 April, we're leaving. You're in charge, And it's because you're a woman. 70 00:04:19,445 --> 00:04:21,996 what, do you really like Red tape and uphill battles? 71 00:04:22,031 --> 00:04:23,558 hey, leslie. hey. 72 00:04:23,593 --> 00:04:25,621 what is up? i'll tell you what's up. 73 00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:30,878 Couple of ladies are coming to Bust up your little boys' club. awesome. Gl thave you. 74 00:04:30,913 --> 00:04:33,770 Get you a beer. We're in. 75 00:04:33,805 --> 00:04:37,214 hey, i'm brian. hi, brian. Leslie knope, Deputy director of- 76 00:04:37,249 --> 00:04:38,585 drink that. okay. 77 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:41,167 i'm ann, everyone. I don't work here. 78 00:04:41,202 --> 00:04:45,363 ann. so what are you guys Talking about? What's topic du jour? 79 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,442 Did you hear that? 80 00:04:49,477 --> 00:04:53,740 That was the sound Of a glass ceiling Being shattered. 81 00:04:53,775 --> 00:04:58,936 The boys' club is more about Socializing than work, you know? I mean, you gotta loosen up. 82 00:04:58,971 --> 00:05:04,558 I kinda feel like I'm already in the boys' club. I mean, look at those bitches Clean up after me. 83 00:05:04,593 --> 00:05:10,146 so is this, like, your Regular tuesday night scene? well, it's just A way to unwind, you know? 84 00:05:10,181 --> 00:05:12,314 really different from Your friday night crowd, right? 85 00:05:12,349 --> 00:05:17,605 what crowd? you know, the girls with The tribal back tattoos Who drink red bull For a living. 86 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,885 oh. that crowd. oh, i like this. Is is banter. 87 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,530 Banter's fun. where'd that come from? 88 00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:23,998 we were just on the computer Looking at your profile. 89 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:29,968 You know, you have a friend Who has a tattoo That says "daddy's girl" And both words are misspelled. 90 00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:33,653 oh, mixing it up With the boys. What are you gonna say? What's your comeback? 91 00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:37,094 those aren't really My friends anymore. I don't hang out with them. 92 00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:40,465 oh, boo. Brendanawicz, That's some weak sauce. You need to hit harder. 93 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:48,200 natalie, It's your sister. Pick me up or i'm gonna draw All over your jeans. 94 00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:54,303 well, it's official, People. We're outta beer. 95 00:05:54,338 --> 00:05:57,237 ahh, that's the cue. See you later, leslie. 96 00:05:57,272 --> 00:05:59,818 It was nice hanging out, You know, after work hours. wait. 97 00:05:59,853 --> 00:06:02,330 i think i'm gonna Take off too. yeah, i should go, leslie. 98 00:06:02,365 --> 00:06:05,356 wait, you guys, let's keep This good feeling going. It's just getting started. 99 00:06:05,391 --> 00:06:08,517 yeah, 'cause partie Usually get started When you run out of booze. 100 00:06:08,552 --> 00:06:12,101 okay, wait. Just hold on a second. 101 00:06:26,526 --> 00:06:30,019 I got wine. all: hey! 102 00:06:30,054 --> 00:06:33,513 and cheese. all: hey! 103 00:06:36,932 --> 00:06:41,583 good morning. Last night in a foolish attempt To infiltrate a boys' club 104 00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:46,199 I violated the government Employee ethics code Of the state of indiana. 105 00:06:46,234 --> 00:06:50,396 I have always tried to live My life in an ethical way, And last night i failed. 106 00:06:50,431 --> 00:06:54,249 I realize i have let down Every female Public official in america, 107 00:06:54,284 --> 00:06:57,174 And i would like to apologize To them right now, 108 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,842 Individually And in alphabetical order. 109 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:06,326 Michele bachmann, Republican, minnesota, I am sorry. 110 00:07:06,361 --> 00:07:12,776 Tammy baldwin, Democrat, wisconsin, I'm so sorry, tammy. 111 00:07:12,811 --> 00:07:15,338 Lissa bean. 112 00:07:26,307 --> 00:07:29,778 Double shift, remember? 113 00:07:29,813 --> 00:07:32,759 Are you gonna be okay? oh, yeah. 114 00:07:32,794 --> 00:07:35,670 I got, uh... dinner. oh, god. 115 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,485 Honey, can you just Clean up a little bit? 116 00:07:39,866 --> 00:07:42,705 i'll try. Don't expect much. 117 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:45,446 okay, well, I'll do it when i get home. 118 00:07:45,481 --> 00:07:46,893 you will? yes. 119 00:07:46,928 --> 00:07:48,271 ann is amazing. 120 00:07:48,306 --> 00:07:54,384 She takes care of me. She takes care of sick people, Sick babies. She is an angel. 121 00:07:54,419 --> 00:07:58,703 And i seriously love her. Hard. 122 00:07:59,377 --> 00:08:01,744 She's going to be gone For the next 24 hours. 123 00:08:01,779 --> 00:08:07,551 So i made this list, And basically This place is gonna be Like a sparkling palace When she returns. 124 00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:11,895 I took a bunch Of pain killers. They're about to kick in, So i'm ready to go. 125 00:08:14,419 --> 00:08:17,057 here it is. Let's clear the air. 126 00:08:17,092 --> 00:08:21,914 Last night i opened up This gift basket For my own pleasure. really? 127 00:08:21,949 --> 00:08:25,400 Leslie knope, usually such A prudish stickler For the rules. 128 00:08:25,435 --> 00:08:28,616 i'm not happy About it either, tom. it's like i don't even Know you anymore. 129 00:08:28,651 --> 00:08:31,902 last year you wrote me up For making personal one calls To my mom. 130 00:08:31,937 --> 00:08:35,154 yes, i did, And i would do it again. Two wrongs Do not make a right. 131 00:08:35,189 --> 00:08:37,123 yes, but she Was in the hospital. 132 00:08:38,161 --> 00:08:39,818 i did not know that At the time. 133 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,023 so can i have the basket? no, i'm sorry. It's evidence. 134 00:08:43,058 --> 00:08:45,457 it's a nice basket. what would you Put in there? 135 00:08:46,145 --> 00:08:48,446 i d't know, Potpourri. that's a lot of potpourri. 136 00:08:48,481 --> 00:08:50,191 hey, i am not the one On trial here. 137 00:08:50,226 --> 00:08:53,824 i appreciate And thank you in advance For your unwavering support. 138 00:08:53,859 --> 00:08:55,925 i think you should Go to jail, Think about what you've done. 139 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,970 go to jail? What's going on? 140 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:02,706 ron, I have a very important And very long story To tell yo 141 00:09:05,001 --> 00:09:06,685 put it in an email? nope. 142 00:09:07,874 --> 00:09:11,570 It happened right out there, Right outside this window. 143 00:09:11,605 --> 00:09:16,125 Why can't i look away? let's not blow this Out of proportion. 144 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,367 i will blow this In proportion. 145 00:09:18,402 --> 00:09:23,373 The minimum punishment for this Is an official reprimand From the city manager. 146 00:09:23,408 --> 00:09:26,697 it's not that big a deal. maybe in your world It isn't a big deal. 147 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:30,159 You're a white protestant man With a full, rich moustache. 148 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:34,304 But i am a woman, And i need to hold myself up To a higher standard. 149 00:09:34,339 --> 00:09:39,246 this is ridiculous. Yore punishing yourself More than anybody else no Is gonna punish you. 150 00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:42,096 What do you suggest we do? You think we should Cover this up? 151 00:09:42,131 --> 00:09:45,142 no, i'm not saying that. No one said "cover-up". 152 00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:48,119 good because the cover-up Is worse than the crime. 153 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:53,758 When you spill something And you try to wipe it up With something that's dirty, Then you get double dirty. 154 00:09:54,358 --> 00:09:56,545 please don't Make this worse. oh, my god. 155 00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:58,161 Good afternoon. 156 00:09:58,196 --> 00:10:05,135 Since we last spoke, I have taken extraordinary steps To make further amends For the mistakes that i've made. 157 00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:07,399 I have written A full confession, 158 00:10:07,434 --> 00:10:12,310 Which i will be emailing To everyone in the entire Pawnee government. 159 00:10:12,619 --> 00:10:18,603 I've also attached a link To the pit's web page Just to remind people Of all the good work that i do. 160 00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:22,026 I asked ron to blow The whistle on me, And he refused. 161 00:10:22,061 --> 00:10:24,535 And that is why I had to whistle-blow myself. 162 00:10:28,242 --> 00:10:32,469 i wish i could say Some of this mess was ann's, But it's all mine. 163 00:10:32,504 --> 00:10:34,629 I'm kind of a nester. 164 00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:39,365 Eh, not bad for a guy With two broken legs. 165 00:10:47,258 --> 00:10:48,645 Hey. 166 00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:55,075 doing a little Experiment tonight To see what will Get me drunker- 167 00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:59,577 Drinkingine- leslie, come here. See what april Put on the pit's web page. 168 00:10:59,612 --> 00:11:04,045 right now drinking wine Is winning. oh, my god, What am i looking at? 169 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,565 a video of me drinking Some of that wine you stole. 170 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,471 what? Why did you do this? 171 00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:13,852 because i was waiting For my sister and i was bored, And my hair Looked rllgood. 172 00:11:13,887 --> 00:11:16,700 and you put it In the pit's web page? yeah. 173 00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:21,067 okay, take this off. Okay, i just sent an email To everyone in the government And i put a link To this page. 174 00:11:21,102 --> 00:11:24,442 a young lawbreaker. A future leslie knope. 175 00:11:24,477 --> 00:11:27,783 Play it again for us, jerry. you got it. 176 00:11:33,202 --> 00:11:36,557 leslie. She's 19 years old. 177 00:11:36,592 --> 00:11:40,457 I thought i told you Not to make this worse. and i heard you Loud and clear. 178 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,957 but then you made it worse. 179 00:11:43,227 --> 00:11:49,045 The disciplinary committee's Having a hearing tomorrow And you're gonna Have to testify. oh, no. 180 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:55,857 april might get dismissed. You could get fired. oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, no. Oh, god. 181 00:11:55,892 --> 00:12:00,420 Oh, this bench Is so uncomfortable. Ow, help. Please, ron. 182 00:12:00,455 --> 00:12:04,687 Ron, ron, Tell me it's gonna be okay. Tell me it's gonna be okay. 183 00:12:04,722 --> 00:12:07,709 it's gonna- ron, where are you? 184 00:12:07,744 --> 00:12:09,832 it'll- hang in. 185 00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:12,302 ron. okay, you're okay. 186 00:12:12,337 --> 00:12:14,103 Good evening. 187 00:12:14,138 --> 00:12:17,629 I've spoken to you A couple times About something That happened, 188 00:12:17,664 --> 00:12:22,375 But i don't wanna- I dot wanna Talk about it anymore. 189 00:12:24,174 --> 00:12:27,467 so the disciplinary Committee awaits. 190 00:12:27,502 --> 00:12:29,704 Feeling good? Feeling strong? not really, no. 191 00:12:29,739 --> 00:12:34,160 do you want me to run Some test questions with you, Maybe give you an idea Of what the disciplinary Committee will be like? 192 00:12:34,195 --> 00:12:37,015 yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, thanks, tom. okay. 193 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:42,786 So, ms. Knope, You're accused Of stealing wine. 194 00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:46,924 How many drinks do you have Per week on average? zero. 195 00:12:46,959 --> 00:12:51,041 Zero to six. i'm gonna write down "ten". 196 00:12:51,076 --> 00:12:52,155 yeah. 197 00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:55,225 do u ever cheat On your taxes? no, no, no, never. 198 00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:59,308 good. You're doing great. How many sexual partners Have you had in the last year? 199 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:00,781 are they gonna ask that? 200 00:13:00,816 --> 00:13:06,469 this is a deposition-style Hearing, ms. Knope. Nothing is off-limits. You have to answer. Now how many sexual partners Have you had in the last year? 201 00:13:07,346 --> 00:13:09,529 zero to six. zero. 202 00:13:09,564 --> 00:13:11,831 Have you ever thought About ron sexually? 203 00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:13,561 what?! including dreams. 204 00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:18,447 Have you ever had A sexual dream About our boss, Ron swanson? no, absolutely not, no. 205 00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:19,475 yes. no. 206 00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:22,133 now in this recurring dream That you have about ron, 207 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:26,903 Is he, like, a regular ron Or is he half-ron, half-animal, Like a ctaur? what? 208 00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:32,443 is he wearing A football uniform? Are you making love to him On a couch Shaped like his moustache? 209 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,145 Is he covered in powerade? no, okay, Time-out, time-out. 210 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:38,346 this committee doesn't Take time-outs, ms. Knope. Now answer the question. 211 00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:40,665 i need something to drink. how 'bout some stolen wine? 212 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:41,840 no, i meant water. 213 00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:44,768 thank you for your ti, Ms. Knope. You're fired. 214 00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:49,234 So that's kinda your Worst-case scenario, you know? If you can handle that, I think you'll be fine. 215 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,171 great. 216 00:13:54,327 --> 00:13:56,361 Ron, thank you for being Here with me today. 217 00:13:56,396 --> 00:14:00,426 i'm your department hea I have to be. nonetheless. 218 00:14:00,461 --> 00:14:02,271 ms. Knope. yes. 219 00:14:02,306 --> 00:14:09,026 you're here Because you allegedly Accepted a gift Of over $25 And contributed To the delinquency of a minor. 220 00:14:09,061 --> 00:14:10,545 Can you tell us What happened? 221 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:13,322 i'm gonna take a glass Of water first if i may. certainly. 222 00:14:14,783 --> 00:14:15,808 Sorry. 223 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:32,739 "two days ago i attended An informal boys' club meeting "for the very first time. 224 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:39,849 "after one and a half beers, "awash in the glow Of acceptance Into this elite, Exclusive club- " 225 00:14:39,884 --> 00:14:41,642 sorry, What club is this? 226 00:14:41,677 --> 00:14:46,485 a couple city planners Like to drink beer In the courtyard On tuesday nights. 227 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,345 no one is supposeto drink Alcohol on government property. 228 00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:53,028 it's not my department. Go ahead, leslie. 229 00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:59,516 "i made A very unwise decision, "a decision that will live In infamy. 230 00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:02,659 "i opened a gift basket Of wine and cheese. 231 00:15:06,877 --> 00:15:12,197 "our intern, april ludgate, "drank some of that wine Without my knowledge. 232 00:15:12,232 --> 00:15:15,088 "that was never part Of the plan. 233 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:20,941 "she had not been invited to The meeting of the boys' club. "i repeat, Notbeen invited. 234 00:15:20,976 --> 00:15:23,015 "though it is my hope That someday 235 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:28,700 "she lives in a world "where the very idea Of boys' clubs Is ancient history. " 236 00:15:30,856 --> 00:15:33,967 but you did Open the gift basket. 237 00:15:34,002 --> 00:15:39,011 And the intern Did drink the wine. Please don't blame her For my mistake. 238 00:15:39,046 --> 00:15:48,003 The biggest crime We could commit here Would be to destroy A teenage girl's passion For local government. 239 00:15:48,445 --> 00:15:52,446 there's only one more thing I need to clean- Me. 240 00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:57,219 Um, i can't really Get into a shower, So i got this idea From my parents. 241 00:15:58,544 --> 00:16:00,387 This is how They clean their dog. 242 00:16:04,919 --> 00:16:06,469 You like that? 243 00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:10,227 I wrote that for ann. 244 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:12,942 It's gonna be playing when she Walks through the door today. 245 00:16:12,977 --> 00:16:14,896 And check this out. 246 00:16:14,931 --> 00:16:18,116 Washed my shorts. How you like that? 247 00:16:20,155 --> 00:16:23,355 hey, turn that down. no. I wrote that song. 248 00:16:23,390 --> 00:16:26,950 i don't care. Turn it down. what are you doing In my yard, lawrence? Get outta here. 249 00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:29,782 okay, you know what, I'm taking it. put down my boom box. 250 00:16:29,817 --> 00:16:33,660 it's my boom box now. I asked you nicely. you did not ask me nicely. 251 00:16:33,695 --> 00:16:34,850 Put that down! 252 00:16:34,885 --> 00:16:37,880 I just put 12 new batteries In that thing! 253 00:16:44,308 --> 00:16:45,298 Lawrence, come on. 254 00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:47,419 ugh, ugh. give it to me. 255 00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,056 Go back inside, hank. 256 00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:55,783 ms. Knope, what was The first thing you did When you arrived at work The next day? 257 00:16:55,818 --> 00:16:58,985 Can you go over the timeline For us once more? yes, of course. 258 00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:03,966 I awoke at 6:21 a. m. After a fitful night of sleep. we've been over this. 259 00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:07,214 What more could you guys Possibly want her to do? 260 00:17:07,249 --> 00:17:10,921 well, we don't know yet. Frankly, we've got A lot more questions. 261 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:13,343 ron, it's okay. no, it's not. 262 00:17:13,378 --> 00:17:15,312 This is not communist china. 263 00:17:15,347 --> 00:17:19,046 You cannot Make her whip herself. You cannot make her Wear a hair shirt. 264 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,711 we weren't planning On doing either of those things. this is america. 265 00:17:22,746 --> 00:17:27,233 You wanna live In north korea, You can live in north korea. I don't want to. 266 00:17:27,268 --> 00:17:28,865 I want to live in america. 267 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:34,235 Leslie has never broken A rule in her life, To the point That it's annoying. 268 00:17:35,183 --> 00:17:37,323 If you want to slap her On the wrist, go ahead. 269 00:17:37,358 --> 00:17:40,358 You wanna Do anything more serious, You're gonnaave To go through me. 270 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,511 Let's go. are we done? 271 00:17:41,546 --> 00:17:42,630 we're done. Let's go. 272 00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:52,749 So after all that, It's really not that bad. You're gonna get a letter In your file. 273 00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:56,122 ron, i just wanted To say thank you- don't worry about it. 274 00:18:01,761 --> 00:18:07,122 No, i didn't do it For leslie. I did it because I hate bureaucracy. 275 00:18:07,157 --> 00:18:13,428 My idea Of a perfect government Is one guy who sits In a small room at a desk, 276 00:18:13,463 --> 00:18:16,346 And the only thing He's allowed to decide Is who to nuke. 277 00:18:16,381 --> 00:18:24,054 The man is chosen Based on some kind of iq test And maybe also A physical tournament, Like a decathlon. 278 00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:28,622 And women are Brought to him maybe 279 00:18:28,757 --> 00:18:31,040 When he sires them. 280 00:18:31,430 --> 00:18:34,696 oh, hey, ann, You're here. yeah, i came From the hospital. 281 00:18:34,731 --> 00:18:37,259 How'd it go? i don't wanna Be overdramatic, 282 00:18:37,294 --> 00:18:42,020 But today felt like 100 years in hell And the absolute worst day Of my life. oh, god. 283 00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:44,565 i never shoulda opened That stupid basket. 284 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,122 yeah, why did you Open that basket? It doesn't really Seem like you. 285 00:18:48,157 --> 00:18:50,145 i think it's 'cause i wanted To shatter the glass ceiling, 286 00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:53,811 You know what i mean? And just kind of infiltrate The boys' club. 287 00:18:56,591 --> 00:18:57,865 i did it for a guy. 288 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,643 oh. yeah. 289 00:19:01,471 --> 00:19:02,608 Mark. 290 00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:04,906 oh. 291 00:19:06,985 --> 00:19:12,947 well, i- We had a brief affair In february Of 2004. 292 00:19:12,982 --> 00:19:17,798 And, um, there's still Something very complicated Between us, so. 293 00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:21,705 yeah, sure. yh. 294 00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,659 smart woman. Iffy choice in men. 295 00:19:25,882 --> 00:19:28,051 But then again, I'm not one to talk. 296 00:19:35,437 --> 00:19:40,277 what do you think? andy, this is so sweet. 297 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,535 nothing. what happened to you? 298 00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:45,833 oh, i was chasing Our neighbor Who is a total jag-weed. 299 00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:47,562 And i fell In some prickly bushes. 300 00:19:47,597 --> 00:19:50,078 Doesn't matter. What do you think of the house? 301 00:19:50,113 --> 00:19:52,956 Hmm? Were you totally surprised? 302 00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:55,016 yeah. do you love it? yeah. 303 00:19:55,051 --> 00:19:57,901 Here, baby, sit down. I'm gonna put something On those scratches. 304 00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:05,344 somebody is getting Gently laid tonight. andy, god. 305 00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:15,443 you look like You need one of these. 306 00:20:17,522 --> 00:20:20,070 come on. You're over 21. 307 00:20:20,105 --> 00:20:22,377 not supposed to be drinking On government property. 308 00:20:22,412 --> 00:20:27,012 Loosen up. You're gonna Drive yourself crazy Trying to follow every single Rule in government. 309 00:20:27,047 --> 00:20:29,567 mark, i have a letter In my file. 310 00:20:29,602 --> 00:20:32,053 i got seven letters In my file. 311 00:20:32,088 --> 00:20:35,793 Pretty much every guy In city planning Has a bunch of letters. 312 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,691 So welcome to the team. 313 00:20:45,422 --> 00:20:47,601 look out, boys. I'm in your club now. 314 00:20:47,636 --> 00:20:51,767 I'm in your club. 315 00:20:51,802 --> 00:20:54,038 and I'm in your... creepy 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net