1 00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:07,000 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:12,239 --> 00:00:13,573 - You are getting a rare glimpse 3 00:00:13,641 --> 00:00:16,342 At this exclusive, government-only event. 4 00:00:16,410 --> 00:00:18,898 Each December, one department puts on a show 5 00:00:18,965 --> 00:00:20,366 That spoofs what happened in our town. 6 00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:22,465 Prepare to laugh your asnov! 7 00:00:24,868 --> 00:00:27,666 Sid asnov is a former city councilman. 8 00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:29,804 Some of the jokes are sort of inside. 9 00:00:29,872 --> 00:00:30,978 Councilman dexhart, 10 00:00:31,045 --> 00:00:33,386 You're involved in yet another scandal? 11 00:00:33,453 --> 00:00:37,067 That's crazier than mayor gunderson's dog rufus. 12 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,484 - Yes, there is a new one, and it's a doozy. 13 00:00:43,551 --> 00:00:45,085 I don't want to go into the details, 14 00:00:45,153 --> 00:00:48,527 But let me just say that it involves multiple women, 15 00:00:48,595 --> 00:00:54,037 A love child, nurses, rabbis, priests. 16 00:00:56,407 --> 00:00:57,641 Well, I hope you can all join me 17 00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:59,377 At my fundraiser tonight. 18 00:00:59,445 --> 00:01:01,079 I am being supported, of course, 19 00:01:01,147 --> 00:01:03,717 By the glitter factory and 1-800-mattress. 20 00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:08,026 Ha ha ha ha! Classic. 21 00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:10,129 - âÂTª pawnee is a city that ain't very pretty âÂTª 22 00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:12,300 âÂTª and good government is our goal âÂTª 23 00:01:12,368 --> 00:01:14,303 - âÂTª we may not be big and our mayor wears a wig âÂTª 24 00:01:14,371 --> 00:01:16,205 âÂTª but at least the raccoon infestation âÂTª 25 00:01:16,273 --> 00:01:17,373 âÂTª is under control âÂTª 26 00:01:17,441 --> 00:01:22,915 - âÂTª it's the most wonderful time âÂTª 27 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:29,458 âÂTª in pawnee âÂTª 28 00:01:33,697 --> 00:01:41,737 âÂTª âÂTª 29 00:01:51,014 --> 00:01:53,984 - Lot 48 was once a horrible and disgusting pit. 30 00:01:54,052 --> 00:01:57,656 And now it's the site of pawnee's winter wonderland. 31 00:01:57,724 --> 00:02:00,025 This could not be more perfect if I had planned it myself. 32 00:02:00,093 --> 00:02:02,596 Which I did. And it's awesome. 33 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:03,931 So let's talk schedge, guys. 34 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,367 The kids are gonna come at 9:00 a.M. On Saturday, 35 00:02:06,435 --> 00:02:09,238 And everyone's gonna do santa for two hours. 36 00:02:09,305 --> 00:02:10,606 So I would just advise everyone 37 00:02:10,674 --> 00:02:12,041 Before you get in your costume 38 00:02:12,109 --> 00:02:14,377 To go to the bathroom so we can avoid what happened last year. 39 00:02:14,445 --> 00:02:16,179 It was just farts. 40 00:02:16,247 --> 00:02:18,316 - 6:00 p.M., caroling with the youth choir. 41 00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:20,886 And I am proud to announce, for the first time ever, 42 00:02:20,954 --> 00:02:22,788 This year our tree-lighting ceremony 43 00:02:22,856 --> 00:02:24,858 Will be simulcast on internet radio. 44 00:02:24,925 --> 00:02:27,394 Thank you. 45 00:02:27,462 --> 00:02:30,064 - That's a really big deal. - It is. Thank you. 46 00:02:30,131 --> 00:02:32,199 - Listening to that tree lighting's gonna be dope! 47 00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:34,969 - Okay, any questions, direct them to me--dismissed. 48 00:02:35,037 --> 00:02:39,375 - Hey, uh, there was a message for you 49 00:02:39,443 --> 00:02:40,510 On the work voicemail. 50 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,178 Councilman dexhart wants to meet with you 51 00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,849 At 9:00 p.M.-- The boardwalk lounge. 52 00:02:44,917 --> 00:02:46,517 - Shut up. - No. 53 00:02:46,585 --> 00:02:49,988 - I'm not scared. I got nothing to apologize for. 54 00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:52,024 I could have been a lot harder on him. 55 00:02:52,091 --> 00:02:53,025 He got off easy. 56 00:02:53,092 --> 00:02:54,493 And often. 57 00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:58,197 Thank you. I'll be here all week. 58 00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:01,200 - You gotta tell me about him. I don't know anything about him. 59 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,335 - Okay, he's 23, he's kinda my boyfriend. 60 00:03:03,403 --> 00:03:04,804 He's gay. 61 00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:06,772 Last year we got drunk and he took me to the ice capades, 62 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,507 And I didn't get him anything. 63 00:03:08,575 --> 00:03:09,942 And he's gay? - Yeah. 64 00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:11,310 - Brokeback mountain dvd. 65 00:03:11,379 --> 00:03:12,346 - No. - Fellas love that. 66 00:03:12,413 --> 00:03:13,447 No. 67 00:03:13,515 --> 00:03:14,781 - Does he already have, like, chaps? 68 00:03:14,849 --> 00:03:16,950 Like, assless chaps? - You know what, forget it. 69 00:03:17,018 --> 00:03:18,953 - Okay, uh, why are you asking me? 70 00:03:19,021 --> 00:03:22,224 - Because, I don't know, there's no one else to ask. 71 00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:23,759 And at least you're kind of young. 72 00:03:23,827 --> 00:03:24,961 - All right, I'll tell you what. 73 00:03:25,029 --> 00:03:26,763 I'm gonna think about it. 74 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,398 Through the course of all day I'm gonna mull it over. 75 00:03:28,466 --> 00:03:30,267 It's all I'm gonna think about. But you're in good hands. 76 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,903 I'm gonna come up with something really, really good. 77 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:32,904 - Really? - Yeah. 78 00:03:32,972 --> 00:03:33,972 - All right. - You got that? 79 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:37,442 Yeah. Thanks. 80 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:39,578 - Councilman dexhart, I'm leslie knope. 81 00:03:39,646 --> 00:03:42,749 - Thank you for meeting me. - It's my pleasure. 82 00:03:42,817 --> 00:03:44,684 I am assuming this is about my performance 83 00:03:44,752 --> 00:03:47,054 In the government follies last night. 84 00:03:47,121 --> 00:03:49,623 I'd just like to say that I have nothing to apologize for. 85 00:03:49,691 --> 00:03:52,326 Except for perhaps being too incisive. 86 00:03:52,394 --> 00:03:54,695 - I don't want you to apologize. 87 00:03:54,763 --> 00:03:56,630 I want to know who told you. 88 00:03:56,698 --> 00:03:57,965 - Who told me? - Mm-hmm. 89 00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:01,735 - Nobody. Nobody told me nuttin'! 90 00:04:01,803 --> 00:04:03,471 What are we talking about? 91 00:04:03,538 --> 00:04:04,738 Well, based on that skit, 92 00:04:04,806 --> 00:04:06,240 I know you've heard about the new scandal 93 00:04:06,308 --> 00:04:07,341 That's about to break. 94 00:04:07,409 --> 00:04:10,077 Who told you? 95 00:04:10,145 --> 00:04:11,312 Was it the babysitter? 96 00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:13,014 Was it the nurse who delivered our love child? 97 00:04:13,081 --> 00:04:14,349 - What? - Oh, stop playing dumb. 98 00:04:14,416 --> 00:04:16,251 You know damn well what happened. 99 00:04:16,319 --> 00:04:18,086 I got the babysitter pregnant. 100 00:04:18,154 --> 00:04:19,688 Then, when she was in the delivery room, 101 00:04:19,756 --> 00:04:21,523 I had sex with not one 102 00:04:21,591 --> 00:04:24,192 But four nurses in a supply closet. 103 00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:26,061 As well as a woman whose husband 104 00:04:26,129 --> 00:04:28,363 Was getting a liver transplant. 105 00:04:28,431 --> 00:04:29,364 Hmm. 106 00:04:29,432 --> 00:04:32,300 Now, which one of them told you? 107 00:04:32,368 --> 00:04:33,601 Was it the liver lady? 108 00:04:33,669 --> 00:04:36,971 - Well, I--no one-- I haven't-- 109 00:04:37,039 --> 00:04:40,175 I haven't heard any of this ever in my whole life. 110 00:04:40,243 --> 00:04:41,343 Oh. 111 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,878 - Believe me, I would have remembered this. 112 00:04:42,946 --> 00:04:45,547 - Okay. Well, in that case, 113 00:04:45,615 --> 00:04:48,917 Everything I just told you was just a funny prank. 114 00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,291 - Oh, hi. How was your meeting? 115 00:04:57,359 --> 00:04:59,360 It was fine. 116 00:04:59,428 --> 00:05:00,795 Pretty straightforward. 117 00:05:00,862 --> 00:05:02,796 Short meeting. You know, he's a busy guy. 118 00:05:02,864 --> 00:05:04,798 - Yes, very busy. Look at this article. 119 00:05:04,865 --> 00:05:07,066 No! 120 00:05:07,134 --> 00:05:12,204 What the-- 121 00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:15,574 - The story of this story is that it won't stop developing. 122 00:05:15,642 --> 00:05:17,911 The mystery woman who met with councilman dexhart last night 123 00:05:17,978 --> 00:05:21,847 Appears to be a government employee named leslie norp. 124 00:05:21,915 --> 00:05:23,649 - Oh, my god. Oh, god. 125 00:05:23,717 --> 00:05:26,152 - According to unconfirmed reports in the pawnee sun, 126 00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:29,121 The two bent an elbow at this local watering hole. 127 00:05:29,189 --> 00:05:30,256 And although they left separately, 128 00:05:30,324 --> 00:05:33,393 No one knows where they woke up together. 129 00:05:33,461 --> 00:05:36,797 Perd hapley, channel 4 news. 130 00:05:40,175 --> 00:05:42,742 - All I did was write and perform in one amazing skit. 131 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,411 - Leslie, it's the pawnee sun. 132 00:05:44,479 --> 00:05:45,412 It's a tabloid. 133 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:46,847 Nobody else has written about it. 134 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,115 - Yeah, no one believes that garbage. 135 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,850 Nobody even reads that thing. 136 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,585 - Leslie, what? Nice work, girl. 137 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,153 Oh, god. 138 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:56,521 How do I fight back? Give me some options. 139 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,725 - Do you want me to seduce perd hapley? 140 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,060 How would that help? 141 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,794 I don't know. 142 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,930 I just want to see if I can do it. 143 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,498 - April, I appreciate that, but I don't think it's something 144 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,300 Worth losing your virginity over. 145 00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:11,502 - Leslie, I don't know if this is important or not, 146 00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:14,471 But I have heard a lot of very, very interesting chatter 147 00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:15,639 Around the shoeshine stand today. 148 00:06:15,706 --> 00:06:16,973 Oh, my god, really? 149 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,207 What have you heard? - A lot of things. 150 00:06:18,275 --> 00:06:20,609 Uh, like, "can you believe it?" 151 00:06:20,676 --> 00:06:22,777 And "the parks lady boned dexhart." 152 00:06:22,845 --> 00:06:25,712 And "of course she did. She's totally good to go." 153 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:28,047 And one guy was like, "I wouldn't hit that." 154 00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:29,682 And the other guy was like, "me neither." 155 00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,384 Then this third guy was like, "I would." 156 00:06:31,451 --> 00:06:34,688 So I don't know if that's helpful at all. 157 00:06:34,755 --> 00:06:37,757 - Well, keep your ear to the ground. 158 00:06:37,825 --> 00:06:39,459 Okay. I'll just-- 159 00:06:39,527 --> 00:06:41,995 - I'm not gonna let these people intimidate me. 160 00:06:42,062 --> 00:06:44,197 I'm gonna do my job. 161 00:06:44,264 --> 00:06:45,998 I would be lying if I said that I never thought 162 00:06:46,066 --> 00:06:48,134 I would be involved in an incident like this. 163 00:06:48,201 --> 00:06:50,870 Except I always assumed that I would be the politician, 164 00:06:50,938 --> 00:06:53,606 And the man would be accused of sleeping with me. 165 00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:56,409 And that man would be the vice president. 166 00:06:56,477 --> 00:06:58,812 And I would be the president. 167 00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:01,281 Okay, all right, well, you look good. 168 00:07:01,348 --> 00:07:02,615 You need to put some tights on, though. 169 00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,250 And I want you to make sure you keep your neckline 170 00:07:04,318 --> 00:07:05,485 Nice and high. 171 00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:07,753 - Leslie knope? Alexa softcastle, pawnee sun. 172 00:07:07,821 --> 00:07:09,421 Can I ask you a few questions? 173 00:07:09,489 --> 00:07:10,522 Don't say anything. 174 00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:12,458 - I'm not afraid to say anything, okay? 175 00:07:12,526 --> 00:07:13,926 I have nothing to hide. 176 00:07:13,994 --> 00:07:16,595 I've never even met councilman dexhart before yesterday, 177 00:07:16,663 --> 00:07:18,230 And that's all I want to say about the matter. 178 00:07:18,298 --> 00:07:19,765 - Some people are saying this isn't the first time 179 00:07:19,832 --> 00:07:21,766 That you've had sex with a married councilman. 180 00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:23,634 Who's saying that? 181 00:07:23,702 --> 00:07:25,336 Some people. 182 00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,139 Okay, this interview is over. 183 00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:31,142 - Go home, lay low, the truth will come out. 184 00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:32,844 - I can't. I have too much work to do. 185 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,680 This department is not gonna deputy-direct itself. 186 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,148 I think we can manage. 187 00:07:37,216 --> 00:07:41,185 Just give me your schedule and we'll cover for you. 188 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:45,757 Okay, I've made copies of leslie's daily work schedule. 189 00:07:45,825 --> 00:07:47,025 So we'll just split into teams, 190 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:51,763 And each team will take... 191 00:07:51,831 --> 00:07:55,767 Damn, ten items... And we'll knock this out. 192 00:07:55,835 --> 00:07:57,369 - I swear to you, I never even met the guy 193 00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:58,603 Before last night. 194 00:07:58,671 --> 00:08:00,705 - It's okay. I believe you. 195 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:02,040 - You do? - Of course. 196 00:08:02,108 --> 00:08:05,210 I think I know you pretty well. 197 00:08:05,278 --> 00:08:06,378 That doesn't sound like you. 198 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,812 Thank you. 199 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,013 If I ever see that guy, 200 00:08:09,081 --> 00:08:10,281 I'm gonna punch him right in the face. 201 00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:13,484 - Yeah, that's sweet. Use your night stick. 202 00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,019 Which meeting is this? 203 00:08:15,087 --> 00:08:18,789 - The organization of local auditing systems. 204 00:08:18,857 --> 00:08:20,958 Kill me. 205 00:08:21,026 --> 00:08:22,660 - All right, first order of business... 206 00:08:22,727 --> 00:08:25,663 Uh, leslie-- where's leslie? 207 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:28,932 - Um, I gave her the day off, paul. 208 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,234 I thought that was best. - Oh, yeah. That's good. 209 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,870 So you'll be making the presentation then, ron. 210 00:08:33,938 --> 00:08:37,806 Yep. Yes. 211 00:08:37,874 --> 00:08:40,576 Hey, so, uh... 212 00:08:40,643 --> 00:08:42,744 That kind of brings us to what I wanted to talk to you about. 213 00:08:42,812 --> 00:08:43,812 I, uh-- 214 00:08:43,879 --> 00:08:45,713 You know, my-- 215 00:08:45,781 --> 00:08:48,382 Army reserve unit--- 216 00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:50,584 We got called up to active duty. 217 00:08:50,652 --> 00:08:52,520 I ship out in four days. 218 00:08:52,587 --> 00:08:55,423 - Oh, my god. Where are you going? 219 00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:56,858 San diego. 220 00:08:56,926 --> 00:08:58,093 Oh, my god! 221 00:08:58,161 --> 00:08:59,795 It's not dangerous. 222 00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:01,163 It's mostly maintenance. 223 00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,598 But I'm going for, like, a year. 224 00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:05,467 Maybe 18 months. 225 00:09:05,535 --> 00:09:08,805 And I was kind of hoping that maybe 226 00:09:08,872 --> 00:09:10,607 You'd want to come with-- with me. 227 00:09:10,674 --> 00:09:14,878 Like on a permanent-type basis. 228 00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:16,513 I don't know, it's-- 229 00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:18,783 It's kind of a weird question. 230 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:22,354 I mean, I joined to put myself through college, 231 00:09:22,422 --> 00:09:26,326 And, uh, it's, you know, I'm just a desk jockey, 232 00:09:26,393 --> 00:09:28,561 But it's-- it's rewarding. 233 00:09:28,629 --> 00:09:33,800 So yeah, I guess I'm in love with the army. 234 00:09:33,868 --> 00:09:35,368 Oh, leslie. Well, yeah. 235 00:09:35,436 --> 00:09:38,105 Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. 236 00:09:38,172 --> 00:09:41,074 Yeah, I'm definitely in love with leslie. 237 00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:42,809 It's--it's affirmative. 238 00:09:42,877 --> 00:09:45,979 I--I know this seems kind of fast, 239 00:09:46,047 --> 00:09:47,247 But I feel like we-- 240 00:09:47,315 --> 00:09:48,648 I feel like we got something here. 241 00:09:48,716 --> 00:09:50,817 I do too. 242 00:09:50,884 --> 00:09:52,652 - Yeah? - Yeah. 243 00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:54,220 - Well, you don't have to answer right away. 244 00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:57,590 But you kinda do. I mean, I need to know...Soon. 245 00:10:00,693 --> 00:10:01,860 - Wow. - Yeah. 246 00:10:01,928 --> 00:10:03,128 Are you gonna go? 247 00:10:03,196 --> 00:10:05,897 - This whole dexhart thing is not making me feel 248 00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:07,499 Very attached to pawnee right now. 249 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:11,002 - San diego, jeez. - Yeah. 250 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,337 You could learn how to surf. 251 00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,704 I know how to surf. 252 00:10:13,772 --> 00:10:15,273 I took lessons when I was a kid. 253 00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:18,811 I'm actually pretty good. - I bet you are. 254 00:10:18,878 --> 00:10:21,580 I would miss leslie like crazy. 255 00:10:21,648 --> 00:10:25,351 Aww... 256 00:10:25,419 --> 00:10:27,821 - All right, sorted out that payroll issue--this is done. 257 00:10:27,889 --> 00:10:29,823 - "bring a case of beer to sanitation." why? 258 00:10:29,891 --> 00:10:31,992 - Let's skip that one. They can buy their own beer. 259 00:10:32,059 --> 00:10:33,726 I'm getting hungry. Let's get something to eat. 260 00:10:33,794 --> 00:10:35,027 Hey, have you figured out 261 00:10:35,095 --> 00:10:36,228 What you're getting ann for christmas? 262 00:10:36,296 --> 00:10:38,731 - Oh, I got her a pretty great computer bag. 263 00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:40,833 - Yeah? That's a terrible gift. 264 00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,768 - No, no, tom, she needs one. 265 00:10:42,836 --> 00:10:44,437 She mentioned it to me two months ago, 266 00:10:44,504 --> 00:10:45,871 And I wrote it down. 267 00:10:45,939 --> 00:10:48,207 That's what's called being an amazing boyfriend. 268 00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:51,476 - Have you seen ann? You know how hot she is? 269 00:10:51,544 --> 00:10:54,312 Men give women of that caliber speed boats, 270 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:57,580 Private jets... Not computer bags. 271 00:10:57,648 --> 00:10:58,953 - Okay, what do you think I should get her? 272 00:10:59,021 --> 00:11:00,555 - Diamonds. Can't go wrong with diamonds. 273 00:11:01,023 --> 00:11:01,757 - Diamonds? 274 00:11:01,824 --> 00:11:03,525 - There isn't a woman alive who doesn't love diamonds. 275 00:11:03,592 --> 00:11:04,954 Even the super-left-wing chicks 276 00:11:05,022 --> 00:11:06,188 That saw blood diamond and cried... 277 00:11:06,656 --> 00:11:08,223 When they get a diamond, they're, like, 278 00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:10,159 "yeah, bitch, gimme more of them blood diamonds! 279 00:11:11,227 --> 00:11:12,028 Make 'em extra bloody." 280 00:11:12,895 --> 00:11:14,397 Trust me. 281 00:11:15,464 --> 00:11:17,532 - We are here looking at a videotape. 282 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,135 This is back in April, 2005. 283 00:11:20,203 --> 00:11:21,703 We see here we're looking at councilman dexhart. 284 00:11:21,771 --> 00:11:22,904 Leslie, you should see this. 285 00:11:22,972 --> 00:11:25,240 - And he's now about to shake hands 286 00:11:25,308 --> 00:11:28,210 With leslie knope, the alleged sex toy. 287 00:11:28,277 --> 00:11:30,812 Oh, for cripes sake. 288 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,315 - Look at the way she's smiling at him. 289 00:11:33,382 --> 00:11:34,883 And then almost unconsciously 290 00:11:34,951 --> 00:11:36,484 Touching her hands to her hips. 291 00:11:36,552 --> 00:11:38,854 See that? Right there. 292 00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:41,022 It's like she's sending him a message 293 00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:42,090 That she's ready for childbearing. 294 00:11:42,158 --> 00:11:44,130 - Wow. - In a 24-hour news cycle, 295 00:11:44,198 --> 00:11:47,233 The tiniest story gets dissected over and over again. 296 00:11:47,301 --> 00:11:51,037 In 2004, a kid from pawnee went to the olympics, 297 00:11:51,104 --> 00:11:54,273 And it was reported on for over a year. 298 00:11:54,341 --> 00:11:56,042 He wasn't even competing or anything. 299 00:11:56,109 --> 00:11:59,312 He just was going, literally, to watch the olympics. 300 00:12:06,353 --> 00:12:08,688 - It was way too easy to get this guy here. 301 00:12:08,755 --> 00:12:11,624 - Councilman dexhart, this has gone far enough. 302 00:12:11,692 --> 00:12:13,159 I want you to hold a press conference 303 00:12:13,227 --> 00:12:14,160 And clear my name. 304 00:12:14,228 --> 00:12:16,696 - Mmm, no, thanks. - Why not? 305 00:12:16,763 --> 00:12:17,897 What's in it for you? 306 00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:19,599 - Well, to be honest, being linked to leslie 307 00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:21,267 Is a lot less damning than the real story. 308 00:12:21,335 --> 00:12:24,370 You're like a glass of whole milk. 309 00:12:24,438 --> 00:12:27,006 What are you, lutheran? I love lutherans. 310 00:12:27,074 --> 00:12:29,475 - Councilman, with all due respect, get a grip. 311 00:12:29,543 --> 00:12:30,843 If you don't hold a press conference, 312 00:12:30,911 --> 00:12:32,912 I'm gonna come forward and tell the whole story. 313 00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:34,280 It won't do you any good. 314 00:12:34,348 --> 00:12:37,416 Take it from me, denying only makes things worse. 315 00:12:37,484 --> 00:12:38,784 Listen, I gotta go. 316 00:12:38,852 --> 00:12:40,820 I'm expected at two different maternity wards. 317 00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:44,690 But before I go, I'd be remiss if I didn't ask-- 318 00:12:44,758 --> 00:12:46,525 Should we? 319 00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:48,427 Oh, my god! 320 00:12:48,495 --> 00:12:49,428 - People already think we did it. 321 00:12:49,496 --> 00:12:50,496 You've got nothing to lose. 322 00:12:50,564 --> 00:12:52,331 I'm very good. - Get outta here! 323 00:12:52,399 --> 00:12:53,332 All right, fine. 324 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,002 - Shoe shine. Shoe shine. 325 00:12:56,069 --> 00:12:57,737 Oh, hey. - Hey. 326 00:12:57,804 --> 00:12:59,505 - I've been thinking about your gay boyfriend all day. 327 00:12:59,573 --> 00:13:01,240 I have got some awesome ideas. 328 00:13:01,308 --> 00:13:01,994 Okay. 329 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:05,634 First idea: Spray tan gift certificates. 330 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,338 Uh...No. 331 00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:12,007 - Trip to germany. Germany is awesome. 332 00:13:12,075 --> 00:13:13,742 And expensive. 333 00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:16,311 - Good call. I didn't think of that. 334 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,773 - Okay, you know how people say 335 00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:20,009 That you should give gifts that you would want to get yourself? 336 00:13:20,377 --> 00:13:21,777 What would you want? 337 00:13:21,845 --> 00:13:24,113 - Easy. Indianapolis colts reggie wayne jersey-- 338 00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:26,015 Number 87, double-xl, home blue, 339 00:13:26,082 --> 00:13:28,017 Signed by reggie wayne right after he catches a touchdown 340 00:13:28,084 --> 00:13:29,551 To win the super bowl. 341 00:13:29,619 --> 00:13:33,222 - Okay, never mind. - No? 342 00:13:33,289 --> 00:13:35,991 Hip-hop abs dance fitness dvd. 343 00:13:36,059 --> 00:13:39,628 - We just received these exclusive photos. 344 00:13:39,696 --> 00:13:41,296 We have pictures of city councilman dexhart... 345 00:13:41,364 --> 00:13:44,566 - Oh, my god! I cannot believe it! 346 00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:48,003 - The big issue now is who is this mystery woman? 347 00:13:48,071 --> 00:13:51,440 She and knope are standing very close to each other. 348 00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:53,275 And anytime you see two women 349 00:13:53,343 --> 00:13:55,277 Standing very close to each other, 350 00:13:55,345 --> 00:13:56,545 You immediately assume... - No, no, don't say it. 351 00:13:56,613 --> 00:13:58,313 Please don't say it. - Lesbian. 352 00:13:58,381 --> 00:13:59,948 - Oh, of course. - What? 353 00:14:00,016 --> 00:14:03,385 - It is a veritable storm of information 354 00:14:03,453 --> 00:14:05,254 Coming in to the studios here today. 355 00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:07,322 - Hi, this is leslie knope, and I would like joan 356 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:08,457 To clear all of her guests tomorrow 357 00:14:08,525 --> 00:14:09,825 Because I'm coming on the show. 358 00:14:09,893 --> 00:14:11,793 If you think that you can drag me and my friend 359 00:14:11,861 --> 00:14:13,495 Through the mud, then you've got-- 360 00:14:13,563 --> 00:14:14,663 Yes, I'll hold. 361 00:14:16,199 --> 00:14:17,199 - It's unbelievable. - Hey. 362 00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:18,801 What happened? 363 00:14:18,869 --> 00:14:20,603 - Got a call from some panicky morning joggers. 364 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:23,705 Apparently sanitation didn't empty this dumpster, 365 00:14:23,773 --> 00:14:25,908 To the raccoons' delight. 366 00:14:25,975 --> 00:14:28,043 - I thought raccoons were supposed to be nocturnal. 367 00:14:28,111 --> 00:14:29,344 - Not in this town, sweetheart. 368 00:14:29,412 --> 00:14:31,413 In this town, they're 24/7. 369 00:14:31,481 --> 00:14:34,049 We can't have raccoons for the christmas thing. 370 00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:36,718 They'll hunt the kids for sport. 371 00:14:36,786 --> 00:14:38,387 Fess up, guys. Who dropped the ball? 372 00:14:38,454 --> 00:14:41,423 - Bring a case of beer to sanitation. 373 00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:43,091 Bring a case of-- 374 00:14:43,159 --> 00:14:44,626 Yeah, this one's our fault, ron. 375 00:14:44,694 --> 00:14:46,361 And we will take care of this for you. 376 00:14:46,429 --> 00:14:49,398 - Okay good, because I have to run a public forum, 377 00:14:49,465 --> 00:14:51,099 Supervise the maintenance crews, 378 00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:53,969 And teach crafts at the senior center. 379 00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:55,537 Simuaneously. 380 00:14:55,605 --> 00:14:57,706 - Joan, I just wanted to say thank you 381 00:14:57,774 --> 00:14:59,741 For letting me be on your show. 382 00:14:59,809 --> 00:15:01,910 I'm really happy that I have the chance to clear my name. 383 00:15:01,978 --> 00:15:04,146 - Sure. I see you brought your girlfriend for support. 384 00:15:04,214 --> 00:15:06,915 That's nice. - What? 385 00:15:06,983 --> 00:15:08,850 Oh, no, she's not-- - and in five, joan... 386 00:15:08,918 --> 00:15:09,985 - She's a--we're-- - four, three... 387 00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:11,420 You've got it wrong. 388 00:15:11,487 --> 00:15:16,147 - Sex. Drugs, possibly. Rock and roll? 389 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,449 We'll find out on pawnee today's 390 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,752 Exclusive interview with the woman 391 00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:24,355 At the center of the dexhart sex scandal, leslie knope. 392 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:28,159 Leslie, my first question has to be 393 00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,161 When did the affair start? 394 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,664 - Joan, I spoke with councilman dexhart 395 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,132 For the first time that night. 396 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:36,668 We met for about 15 minutes, 397 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:39,671 And then I went home alone, and that's the whole story. 398 00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,439 - Well, leslie, we all saw the tape 399 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,107 From four years ago, 400 00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:46,044 And you were flashing some serious "do me" eyes. 401 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,278 That's just my opinion. 402 00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,714 - I don't understand why I'm on trial here. 403 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,417 You should be grilling councilman dexhart. 404 00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:55,086 - Oh, you know what, that's a really good idea. 405 00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,789 Uh, let's bring him out. Councilman, come on out. 406 00:15:57,856 --> 00:15:59,691 Hi, sweetie. 407 00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:02,627 - Why didn't you tell me he was gonna be here? 408 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,462 - I thought it'd be more exciting. 409 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,230 You look great. 410 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,935 It's like I'm invisible. 411 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,637 Okay, my name is ron. 412 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,073 You don't need to know my last name. 413 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,541 Whoever wants to talk, go ahead, 414 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,910 And we'll be out of here in a tight 15. 415 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,245 - I found a sandwich in one of your parks, 416 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:26,084 And I want to know why it didn't have mayonnaise. 417 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,752 What's so funny? - Oh. 418 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,987 - Yeah, I don't think kids should be allowed 419 00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:30,321 On the playground equipment. 420 00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:31,812 Okay, we've been over this. 421 00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,347 If you're worried about swine flu, 422 00:16:34,215 --> 00:16:35,882 Use hand sanitizer-- 423 00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:36,950 - I'm not worried about swine flu. 424 00:16:37,017 --> 00:16:38,084 I already had the swine flu. 425 00:16:38,152 --> 00:16:39,152 I'm worried about the turtle flu! 426 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,487 - The turtle flu... - Turtle flu. 427 00:16:41,555 --> 00:16:44,090 Turtle flu. 428 00:16:44,158 --> 00:16:46,960 - Joan, this whole pawnee sun story 429 00:16:47,027 --> 00:16:49,095 Is "gotcha journalism" at its worst. 430 00:16:49,163 --> 00:16:51,164 Honey, let's just keep our private life 431 00:16:51,232 --> 00:16:52,498 In the bedroom where it belongs. 432 00:16:52,566 --> 00:16:54,534 - We do not have a private life. 433 00:16:54,602 --> 00:16:56,436 Stop saying that we have a private life. 434 00:16:56,503 --> 00:16:57,904 The fact is we never slept together. 435 00:16:57,972 --> 00:17:00,373 And if we did, you would have proof. 436 00:17:00,441 --> 00:17:02,141 And we would have seen it by now. 437 00:17:02,209 --> 00:17:03,409 Councilman? 438 00:17:03,477 --> 00:17:05,745 I can prove it. 439 00:17:05,813 --> 00:17:08,982 She has a mole on her right buttock. 440 00:17:09,049 --> 00:17:11,751 - What? That is a total lie. 441 00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:14,254 You've never seen my butt. What are you talking about? 442 00:17:14,321 --> 00:17:16,489 He has never seen my butt. 443 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:17,991 - 444 00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:20,960 - Well, I guess it's your word against his. 445 00:17:21,028 --> 00:17:22,428 I mean... - That's right. 446 00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:25,265 Fine. 447 00:17:25,332 --> 00:17:28,134 Here, joan, why don't you look for yourself? 448 00:17:28,202 --> 00:17:30,536 Is this happening? 449 00:17:30,604 --> 00:17:32,939 Wait...There's no mole. 450 00:17:33,007 --> 00:17:34,774 There is no mole! 451 00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:36,843 This exclusive story-- 452 00:17:36,911 --> 00:17:39,679 There is no mole on miss knope! 453 00:17:39,747 --> 00:17:40,680 - I can't believe it's come to this. 454 00:17:40,748 --> 00:17:41,981 This is utterly humiliating. 455 00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:43,449 - Well, councilman, care to make a comment 456 00:17:43,517 --> 00:17:45,718 About no-mole-gate? 457 00:17:45,786 --> 00:17:47,253 Yes. 458 00:17:47,321 --> 00:17:48,888 I really didn't think that miss knope would 459 00:17:48,956 --> 00:17:50,379 Pull down her pants on tv. 460 00:17:51,047 --> 00:17:53,282 But since she did, 461 00:17:53,349 --> 00:17:56,785 I will admit that the rumors of our affair 462 00:17:56,853 --> 00:17:58,921 Are indeed false. 463 00:17:58,988 --> 00:18:00,322 - Thank you. - However... 464 00:18:00,390 --> 00:18:02,357 I have no plans to resign. 465 00:18:02,425 --> 00:18:04,259 - Oh, great. Okay, councilman, 466 00:18:04,327 --> 00:18:05,427 You know what, you're a class act. 467 00:18:05,495 --> 00:18:06,862 Thank you. 468 00:18:06,930 --> 00:18:08,697 I thought you did great. 469 00:18:08,765 --> 00:18:09,998 When you get all feisty like that, 470 00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:12,301 It gets my heart racing. 471 00:18:12,368 --> 00:18:14,536 Like I'm on a stairmaster. 472 00:18:14,604 --> 00:18:20,876 Except more like in a sexual...Context. 473 00:18:20,944 --> 00:18:24,746 - I can't go to san diego with you. 474 00:18:28,051 --> 00:18:31,653 My life is here. My friends, my career. 475 00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:33,589 - I guess I just thought, with everything that happened, 476 00:18:33,656 --> 00:18:35,991 You'd want a fresh start. 477 00:18:36,059 --> 00:18:39,361 - I know, I-- I really care about you, dave. 478 00:18:39,429 --> 00:18:40,863 I just-- 479 00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:43,732 I love this town. 480 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,334 I'm sorry. 481 00:18:47,136 --> 00:18:48,570 You want your ticket back? 482 00:18:48,638 --> 00:18:51,240 - No. You know what, keep it. 483 00:18:51,307 --> 00:18:54,943 You may want to come visit me, right? 484 00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:57,112 There's a $75 change fee, 485 00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:59,615 But I could pay you that, or I could reimburse you. 486 00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:01,316 There's a lot of ways we could handle that. 487 00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:14,986 Oh, ho, that's, uh... 488 00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:18,722 Hey. Sorry I'm late. 489 00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:19,823 Hey! 490 00:19:19,891 --> 00:19:22,426 - Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you. 491 00:19:22,493 --> 00:19:25,563 That took guts, mooning joan callamezzo. 492 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,548 Aww, honey... - Thanks, mom. 493 00:19:27,616 --> 00:19:29,651 Oh, my god, is something wrong with the tree? 494 00:19:29,718 --> 00:19:31,352 No, nothing wrong. 495 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,353 - But it's almost 9:00. It should have been lighted up 496 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,454 An hour ago. 497 00:19:33,522 --> 00:19:34,989 We waited for you. 498 00:19:40,863 --> 00:19:43,131 Okay, everybody, countin' down! 499 00:19:43,198 --> 00:19:47,468 - five, four, three, two, 500 00:19:47,536 --> 00:19:48,770 One. 501 00:19:52,574 --> 00:19:55,810 - âÂTª joy to the world the lord is come âÂTª 502 00:19:55,878 --> 00:19:59,781 âÂTª let earth receive her king âÂTª 503 00:19:59,848 --> 00:20:02,617 âÂTª let every heart... âÂTª 504 00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:05,153 - It's gotten a lot harder to work in government. 505 00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:07,388 You think winston churchill ever had to pull his pants down 506 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,456 And show his butt? 507 00:20:08,524 --> 00:20:10,925 No. But would he have? 508 00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:12,293 Yes. 509 00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:13,962 Now, could he have? 510 00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:15,363 Maybe not towards the end of his life, 511 00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:18,533 But he would have. 512 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,135 Because he loved his job. 513 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:36,016 - Ho ho! Reggie wayne! 514 00:20:36,084 --> 00:20:37,818 Dude! 515 00:20:37,886 --> 00:20:40,954 You remembered me complaining about my computer bag. 516 00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:43,657 - Do you like it? - Yeah, it's perfect. 517 00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:45,826 It's way better than the gift that I got you. 518 00:20:45,894 --> 00:19:47,917 It's pacers tickets. 519 00:20:48,085 --> 00:20:49,853 - Oh... - They're not even good seats. 520 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,387 Achh! - This is awesome. 521 00:20:51,455 --> 00:20:52,455 It's not awesome. 522 00:20:52,523 --> 00:20:56,593 - I actually got you a second gift. 523 00:20:56,660 --> 00:20:58,762 You don't have to come to this game with me. 524 00:21:00,264 --> 00:21:02,766 You don't have to. 525 00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:03,933 - That's the nicest gift... - Is that good? Is that good? 526 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:05,835 - Anybody's ever gotten me in my life. 527 00:21:07,705 --> 00:21:09,272 Oh, thank god. 528 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:11,207 There's a bunch of messages waiting for you 529 00:21:11,275 --> 00:21:14,644 About a bunch of things I don't understand. 530 00:21:15,048 --> 00:21:21,050 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 531 00:21:21,118 --> 00:21:23,920 - 532 00:21:30,394 --> 00:21:33,783 - Hi, this is leslie knope in the parks department. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net