1
00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:08,101
Norquist properties,
2
00:00:08,169 --> 00:00:09,669
Is claimg the government screwed them
3
00:00:09,736 --> 00:00:12,071
By illegally seizing the land.
4
00:00:12,139 --> 00:00:13,939
Well, I know about this issue.
5
00:00:14,007 --> 00:00:15,741
I caed the city attorney like 50 times.
6
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,000
He didn't call me back.
7
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:18,190
Oh, do you need a lawyer?
8
00:00:18,258 --> 00:00:19,247
Because my friend justin's a lawyer.
9
00:00:19,315 --> 00:00:20,237
I'm sure he could help.
10
00:00:20,305 --> 00:00:21,228
Oh, that'd be terrific.
11
00:00:21,296 --> 00:00:22,219
Yeah, I'll call him.
12
00:00:22,287 --> 00:00:24,218
Justin's the greatest guy ever.
13
00:00:24,286 --> 00:00:26,642
the greatest guy ever?
14
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:29,457
But does he dress... This well?
15
00:00:29,525 --> 00:00:30,552
Brooks brothers.
16
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,782
Bought it right off the mannequin.
17
00:00:34,712 --> 00:00:37,374
Ron swanson?
18
00:00:37,441 --> 00:00:38,472
That's me.
19
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:39,772
My name is george macfayden.
20
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:42,299
I wanted to talk to you
about the amou of snow
21
00:00:42,367 --> 00:00:43,832
In the parks.
22
00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:46,629
I've been getting a lot
of visitors recently,
23
00:00:46,697 --> 00:00:51,095
Thanks to a stupid, worthless, new push
24
00:00:51,163 --> 00:00:53,760
To make government offials more accessible
25
00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:55,491
To the public.
26
00:00:55,559 --> 00:00:58,656
There is a disturbing of
benches in ramsett park!
27
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,022
I want to sit more!
28
00:01:00,057 --> 00:01:03,420
And another thing I like
29
00:01:03,488 --> 00:01:07,487
Is the layout of the hiking trails.
30
00:01:07,554 --> 00:01:09,653
I made this in one of
your pottery classes.
31
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:12,121
It's terrible!
32
00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:13,987
This is my hell.
33
00:01:17,022 --> 00:01:27,065
Sync by lo3b
www.addic7ed.com
34
00:01:35,199 --> 00:01:36,999
Leslie.
35
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:38,330
Ann's friend, justin.
36
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:39,864
Oh, hey, yeah. Of course. Hi.
37
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:41,331
Thank you. Thank you for coming in.
38
00:01:41,399 --> 00:01:42,398
My pleasure. Not a problem.
39
00:01:42,466 --> 00:01:44,430
- Have a seat.
- I should warn you,
40
00:01:44,498 --> 00:01:46,263
Land seizure isn't really my specialty,
41
00:01:46,331 --> 00:01:47,564
But I'm gonna have to take a look.
42
00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:48,998
Any friend of ann's...
Is a friend of mine.
43
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:50,230
That's my motto too.
44
00:01:50,298 --> 00:01:51,431
Hmm.
45
00:01:51,498 --> 00:01:53,431
, um, what is your specialty?
46
00:01:53,499 --> 00:01:55,032
Is it locking up the bad guys,
47
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,833
Or keeping them on the streets?
Um, neither.
48
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,699
It's civil litigation, mostly.
That's interesting.
49
00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:02,667
Can be...I've got this
crazy case right now.
50
00:02:02,735 --> 00:02:05,535
Have you ever heard of this product,
fire in a can?
51
00:02:05,602 --> 00:02:06,735
Oh, I love those commercials!
52
00:02:06,803 --> 00:02:08,235
?if you wanna start a fire ?
53
00:02:01,969 --> 00:02:03,402
?but you have to do it fast, then-- ?
54
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:04,636
Well, you shouldn't buy it.
55
00:02:11,038 --> 00:02:13,170
It will literally burn your hand clean off.
56
00:02:13,238 --> 00:02:14,971
- Oh, wow.
- Mm-hmm.
57
00:02:15,039 --> 00:02:18,472
It is an aerosol can with
an igniter and a trigger.
58
00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:20,806
It's essentially a blow torch.
59
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,507
And, if you can believe it,
60
00:02:22,574 --> 00:02:25,608
It was invented to warm up baby bottles.
61
00:02:25,676 --> 00:02:27,809
This is my colleague, tom haverford.
62
00:02:27,877 --> 00:02:29,543
- Tom, justin.
- How are you?
63
00:02:29,611 --> 00:02:31,811
You are wearing the hell
out of that suit, sir.
64
00:02:31,878 --> 00:02:33,243
Banana two-button.
65
00:02:33,311 --> 00:02:34,244
Okay, let's go into the conference room.
66
00:02:34,312 --> 00:02:35,244
I got everything laid out.
67
00:02:35,312 --> 00:02:36,645
- We should talk later.
- Tom, stop.
68
00:02:37,947 --> 00:02:40,781
Wow, 12:15. You're early today.
69
00:02:40,848 --> 00:02:42,949
April, there's no paper in the printer.
70
00:02:43,017 --> 00:02:44,517
So?
71
00:02:44,585 --> 00:02:46,652
So that's the one thing you do.
72
00:02:51,155 --> 00:02:53,055
Attention.
73
00:02:53,123 --> 00:02:54,488
April, stop doing that.
74
00:02:54,556 --> 00:02:56,989
- Jerry told me to, so it's super
-crucial.
75
00:02:57,057 --> 00:02:58,423
More important than that,
76
00:02:58,491 --> 00:03:01,825
And more important than anything
in this god-forsaken world
77
00:03:01,893 --> 00:03:03,192
Is finding me an assistant.
78
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:05,294
You get an assistant now?
79
00:03:05,361 --> 00:03:06,761
Yeah, I've always been able to have one,
80
00:03:06,829 --> 00:03:08,529
But ve turned it down cause
it's a waste of money.
81
00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:10,063
In the eight years I've been at the job,
82
00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:11,631
I've saved the taxpayers of this city
83
00:03:11,698 --> 00:03:13,498
More than 150 grand.
84
00:03:13,566 --> 00:03:16,533
But now, I need the taxpayers' money
85
00:03:16,601 --> 00:03:18,567
To save me from the taxpayers.
86
00:03:18,635 --> 00:03:22,069
Post this at your college.
87
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,838
This looks like an ad for nothing.
88
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:26,906
Please be careful with it.
89
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,073
It's my only copy.
90
00:03:29,141 --> 00:03:31,041
You are very organized, leslie.
91
00:03:31,109 --> 00:03:32,642
Yeah, I am.
92
00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:33,943
Thank you.
93
00:03:34,011 --> 00:03:35,844
I love what you do.
You got the coolest job.
94
00:03:35,912 --> 00:03:37,845
Let me guess. This is our park.
95
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,512
I want to know everything about this.
96
00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:40,880
Oh, okay.
97
00:03:40,947 --> 00:03:42,747
Well, these green things represent trees.
98
00:03:42,815 --> 00:03:45,249
I come in, like, two hours late
99
00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:46,917
Because I had to finish
watching swimfan
100
00:03:46,985 --> 00:03:48,851
Because it was...On.
101
00:03:48,919 --> 00:03:50,953
And everyone, like, jumped down my throat.
102
00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,220
Oh, man.
103
00:03:52,288 --> 00:03:53,888
Can't wait till my internship is over,
104
00:03:53,956 --> 00:03:55,489
So I can get the hell out of here.
105
00:03:55,556 --> 00:03:58,324
Well, you're all set.
106
00:03:58,391 --> 00:04:00,692
Free of charge, of course.
107
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,427
Hey, why don't you sell
your band's cds here?
108
00:04:03,495 --> 00:04:05,128
That is a brilliant idea.
109
00:04:05,196 --> 00:04:07,329
I cannot believe I didn't think of that.
110
00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:09,230
I have been writing a lot of songs
111
00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:11,465
About shining shoes lately.
112
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:13,900
I tend to write about what I'm doing.
113
00:04:13,968 --> 00:04:16,002
AcT?talkin' 'bout AcT? 117 00:04:09,735 -->
00:04:13,671 AcT?writin' about what I'm
doin' AcT? 118 00:04:13,739 --> 00:04:17,041
AcT?now I'm singin' about talkin' about AcT?
119 00:04:17,109 --> 00:04:20,377
AcT?writin' about what I'm doin' AcT? 120
00:04:20,445 --> 00:04:22,347 - Companies
make bogus claims lihis all the time.
114
00:04:28,748 --> 00:04:30,049
I think you're gonna be just fine.
115
00:04:30,117 --> 00:04:32,318
Thank you so much.
I know you're really busy.
116
00:04:32,386 --> 00:04:33,486
Please, it's my pleasure.
117
00:04:33,553 --> 00:04:36,088
Least this stuff is interesting, you know.
118
00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:37,456
You know, it actually reminds me--
119
00:04:37,524 --> 00:04:40,459
Two years ago I was in borneo,
officiating a wedding,
120
00:04:40,527 --> 00:04:42,962
And this enormous medicine man showed up,
121
00:04:43,029 --> 00:04:45,097
And he was there to basically tell--
122
00:04:45,165 --> 00:04:46,566
- Justin!
- Hey, kiddo.
123
00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,200
- Hey.
- How you doin'?
124
00:04:48,268 --> 00:04:49,868
I'm good. I haven't seen you in forever.
125
00:04:49,936 --> 00:04:51,303
I know, so good to see you.
126
00:04:51,371 --> 00:04:52,471
You too. Do you want to grab some dinner?
127
00:04:52,538 --> 00:04:54,006
Uh, I would love to.
128
00:04:54,073 --> 00:04:55,741
I cannot. I am swamped.
129
00:04:55,808 --> 00:04:56,808
You're always so busy.
130
00:04:56,876 --> 00:04:58,510
Yeah. Next week, I promise.
131
00:04:58,578 --> 00:05:00,112
- Okay.
- Hey, I'm mark.
132
00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:02,748
Oh! Sorry. Justin, this is mark.
133
00:05:02,816 --> 00:05:04,784
This is the city planner. - Oh, my god.
134
00:05:04,852 --> 00:05:06,118
It's such a pleasure to meet you.
135
00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:07,787
- Uh, pleasure.
- Pleasure.
136
00:05:09,656 --> 00:05:11,289
Anyway, leslie, I have to go.
137
00:05:11,357 --> 00:05:13,091
It has been a super pleasure meeting you.
138
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:14,425
I am gonna get into this over the weekend,
139
00:05:14,493 --> 00:05:16,626
And I will get back to
you on Monday about it.
140
00:05:16,694 --> 00:05:17,894
- Okay, great.
- All right.
141
00:05:17,961 --> 00:05:19,761
- See you, justin.
- Hey, tom, good seeing you.
142
00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:21,161
I've been thinking.
143
00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:24,063
It has been a while since dave left.
144
00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:26,097
And I think I might be ready
to start dating again.
145
00:05:26,165 --> 00:05:27,833
That's great! Oh, my god.
146
00:05:27,901 --> 00:05:29,133
I have so many ideas.
147
00:05:29,201 --> 00:05:31,301
You know, I was only
with mark for one night,
148
00:05:31,369 --> 00:05:33,904
And then I was hung up on him for six years.
149
00:05:33,972 --> 00:05:36,006
I dated dave for three months.
150
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,908
So if I continue that pattern,
151
00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:41,378
I won't be over him for...
152
00:05:41,445 --> 00:05:43,780
500 years.
153
00:05:43,848 --> 00:05:45,181
What is your ideal man?
154
00:05:45,249 --> 00:05:47,317
He has the brains of george clooney
155
00:05:47,385 --> 00:05:49,119
In the body of joe biden.
156
00:05:49,186 --> 00:05:51,154
Interesting.
157
00:05:51,222 --> 00:05:52,756
Okay, just off the bat,
158
00:05:52,823 --> 00:05:55,024
There is a couple of doctors
I think you would love.
159
00:05:55,092 --> 00:05:56,793
What about justin?
160
00:05:56,860 --> 00:05:59,195
I mean, I feel like we
kind of hit it off in there.
161
00:05:59,263 --> 00:06:00,697
Yeah, I don't...
162
00:06:00,764 --> 00:06:02,031
I have to think about that.
163
00:06:02,099 --> 00:06:03,700
I don't--I'm not sure that would work.
164
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,101
Really? Is there something wrong with him?
165
00:06:05,169 --> 00:06:07,170
No, no, he's really, really, really great.
166
00:06:07,237 --> 00:06:08,838
And you're so great, obviously.
167
00:06:08,906 --> 00:06:10,973
I just do--I don't-- I don't know.
168
00:06:11,041 --> 00:06:12,408
But I will find you soone. I promise.
169
00:06:12,476 --> 00:06:13,476
And he'll be awesome.
170
00:06:13,544 --> 00:06:15,044
I'm gonna go do it right now.
171
00:06:15,112 --> 00:06:16,279
Good, great. Yes!
172
00:06:16,346 --> 00:06:18,548
Go, ann, go! Oh, just one rule.
173
00:06:18,616 --> 00:06:19,849
I don't want to date a twin.
174
00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:22,352
'cause I've been tricked before.
175
00:06:22,419 --> 00:06:23,720
Okay.
176
00:06:23,787 --> 00:06:27,156
Yes, I understand your complaint.
177
00:06:27,224 --> 00:06:28,958
I have to go now.
178
00:06:29,026 --> 00:06:31,294
Plse. Thank you.
179
00:06:31,362 --> 00:06:33,364
- Ron solo.
- Hello, tom.
180
00:06:33,431 --> 00:06:35,332
I want to help you with
your assistant search.
181
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,600
Why?
182
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:37,767
'cause I wan to do my boy ron a solid.
183
00:06:37,835 --> 00:06:38,902
I know exactly what you're looking for,
184
00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:40,636
And I will find you a reliable person.
185
00:06:49,111 --> 00:06:51,345
Now, get out there and
find me an assistant.
186
00:06:51,413 --> 00:06:53,147
Okay.
187
00:06:53,215 --> 00:06:54,315
I left you three messages.
Did you get them?
188
00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:55,483
No, I been running around all day.
189
00:06:55,551 --> 00:06:56,718
What's up?
190
00:06:56,786 --> 00:06:58,553
I found the perfect
guy to set you up with.
191
00:06:58,621 --> 00:07:00,588
But he's going out of town,
so he can only do tonight.
192
00:07:00,656 --> 00:07:03,024
So I came over here right after work.
193
00:07:03,092 --> 00:07:04,559
- Is that his blood?
- What?
194
00:07:04,627 --> 00:07:06,695
Oh, damn. Now I have to go back.
195
00:07:06,762 --> 00:07:08,496
- Who is he?
- His name is chris,
196
00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:10,163
And he's an mri technician.
197
00:07:10,231 --> 00:07:12,031
And he's really cute and he's
very passionate about his job.
198
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,500
And I told him all about you
and he's really interested.
199
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:17,436
So dinner tonight, and here's the info.
200
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,538
Thanks. Wait!
201
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:20,872
How is he gonna know it's me?
202
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,807
I'll wear a red rose in my hair.
203
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,341
No, I'll wear a giant, red hat.
204
00:07:24,409 --> 00:07:25,776
No, I don't have one of those.
What should I wear?
205
00:07:25,844 --> 00:07:27,010
It's gotta be red.
206
00:07:27,078 --> 00:07:28,778
I will just tell him what you look like.
207
00:07:28,846 --> 00:07:29,879
Good call.
208
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,314
Hi, I'm leslie.
209
00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:33,682
Are you chris? - Yeah.
210
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:36,485
- Sorry I'm late.
- Oh, don't worry about it.
211
00:07:36,553 --> 00:07:39,020
You look beautiful. - Thank you.
212
00:07:39,088 --> 00:07:40,055
Oh, here, let take your coat.
213
00:07:40,122 --> 00:07:41,890
- Oh, thanks.
- Sure.
214
00:07:41,957 --> 00:07:44,558
well done, ann.
215
00:07:44,626 --> 00:07:46,293
- I actually heard that.
- What?
216
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,620
Well, I went to wisconsin
for both undergrad
217
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:50,820
And grad school.
218
00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:53,922
Go, badgers. - Boo. Indiana hoosiers.
219
00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:55,891
No, badgers.
220
00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:57,526
Oh.
221
00:07:57,594 --> 00:07:58,727
It's not important.
222
00:07:58,794 --> 00:08:01,996
I'm just glad that we
could make this happen.
223
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,698
Ann kept going on about
how wonderful you are,
224
00:08:03,766 --> 00:08:06,101
And I just had to see for myself.
225
00:08:06,168 --> 00:08:07,769
Well, she's my number one best friend.
226
00:08:07,836 --> 00:08:09,204
Kind of wish she'd told
me that you went to indiana,
227
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,805
But whatever.
228
00:08:10,873 --> 00:08:12,840
So you're in charge of
amusement parks, right?
229
00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:14,241
God, that's exciting.
230
00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:16,310
Actually, it's regular parks.
231
00:08:16,378 --> 00:08:18,012
Like swings and slides and stuff.
232
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,514
Strike two.
233
00:08:21,351 --> 00:08:22,851
You know, isn't it funny
234
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,388
How these setups are always just so awkward?
235
00:08:27,958 --> 00:08:30,093
Hey, watch this.
236
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,396
I will now extinguish this candle
237
00:08:32,464 --> 00:08:33,564
With my bare hands.
238
00:08:33,632 --> 00:08:36,768
Okay.
239
00:08:36,835 --> 00:08:39,538
Gah, ! Uhh!
240
00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:41,473
That really hurts. - Are you okay?
241
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:44,173
Oh, god, it looks so much
easier on the internet.
242
00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:46,241
God, I gotta borrow some of your ice.
243
00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:49,210
German?
244
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,746
oh, my god.
245
00:08:51,814 --> 00:08:53,647
All right, later.
246
00:08:53,715 --> 00:08:54,815
Ah.
247
00:08:54,883 --> 00:08:57,117
Was that, um, justin?
248
00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:59,685
Yes. We are going to lunch tomorrow.
249
00:08:59,752 --> 00:09:00,952
Oh, great.
250
00:09:01,019 --> 00:09:02,920
Did you guys ever date?
251
00:09:02,987 --> 00:09:04,484
No, we never did.
252
00:09:04,552 --> 00:09:05,851
He's just like...
253
00:09:05,919 --> 00:09:06,951
A really amazing person.
254
00:09:07,019 --> 00:09:08,951
Awesome.
255
00:09:09,019 --> 00:09:10,820
Let's do this! Marley & me.
256
00:09:10,888 --> 00:09:12,789
Puppies! Puppies, puppies.
257
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:13,856
I know.
258
00:09:13,924 --> 00:09:17,258
Let's...Watch marley & me.
259
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,992
Brian.
260
00:09:22,059 --> 00:09:23,726
Technically, you'd be assisting ron.
261
00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:25,827
But ron really doesn't
do much government work,
262
00:09:25,895 --> 00:09:27,662
So you'd really be working for me.
263
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:30,097
I'm interested in real world expertise.
264
00:09:30,165 --> 00:09:32,833
I got a nightclub opening to go to.
265
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:34,634
Which tie do I wear?
266
00:09:34,702 --> 00:09:36,069
I like the one on the left.
267
00:09:36,137 --> 00:09:38,405
That was a trick question.
268
00:09:38,472 --> 00:09:40,306
The answer is this one.
269
00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:43,143
Tell me about you.
Tell me about your friends.
270
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:45,444
Be as superficial as possible.
271
00:09:45,512 --> 00:09:46,679
I meet a girl at a bar.
272
00:09:46,746 --> 00:09:48,747
She seems kind of into me.
Could go either way.
273
00:09:48,815 --> 00:09:50,315
I get her number. It's two days later.
274
00:09:50,383 --> 00:09:51,783
What do I text her?
275
00:09:51,851 --> 00:09:53,117
It was nice meeting you?
276
00:09:53,185 --> 00:09:54,418
No, zack!
277
00:09:54,486 --> 00:09:55,786
I don't text her, "it was nice meeting you."
278
00:09:55,854 --> 00:09:57,254
I wait eight weeks,
279
00:09:57,321 --> 00:09:59,355
And I text her, "what's crackin'?"
280
00:09:59,422 --> 00:10:01,957
So do you enjoy it?
281
00:10:02,024 --> 00:10:03,491
Being an mri technician?
282
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:04,726
Great question.
283
00:10:04,793 --> 00:10:06,661
Someone steps into the room.
284
00:10:06,728 --> 00:10:09,697
Imagine a mother of three.
Maybe she's a teacher.
285
00:10:09,764 --> 00:10:12,766
She knows something's wrong,
but she doesn't know what it is.
286
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,367
She's scared.
287
00:10:14,435 --> 00:10:16,969
In less than an hour, I know what it is.
288
00:10:17,037 --> 00:10:18,004
What's wrong with her?
289
00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:20,339
I don't know.
290
00:10:20,406 --> 00:10:23,007
But the best part about being
an mri technician is...
291
00:10:23,075 --> 00:10:25,342
I can see inside everything.
292
00:10:25,410 --> 00:10:26,977
See that guy over there?
293
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:30,347
Imagine being able to look inside his head.
294
00:10:30,414 --> 00:10:31,814
- Wow.
- I know.
295
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:35,051
Could look inside the steak
or this butter or this bread.
296
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:37,987
You can look inside anything.
297
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,488
Well, if you look inside this bread,
298
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,889
All you're gonna find is more bread.
299
00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:43,658
I don't know. I'd have to do an mri.
300
00:10:43,725 --> 00:10:46,026
Anyway, it's good that
you found your calling.
301
00:10:46,094 --> 00:10:48,428
I mean, I've never even had an mri before.
302
00:10:48,495 --> 00:10:50,362
what?
303
00:10:52,498 --> 00:10:54,533
I don't know about this.
304
00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:57,337
Well, I'm offering you a free scan.
305
00:10:57,404 --> 00:10:59,472
Usually costs up to $2,000.
306
00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:01,273
I'm kind of spoiling you here.
307
00:11:01,341 --> 00:11:04,409
Well, I am a little curious.
308
00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:05,910
Good.
309
00:11:05,978 --> 00:11:07,245
'cause, frankly,
I don't want to invest in someone
310
00:11:07,313 --> 00:11:08,546
Who only has three months to live.
311
00:11:11,683 --> 00:11:13,083
Oh.
312
00:11:13,151 --> 00:11:14,251
I'm just trying to think
of this as an adventure.
313
00:11:14,318 --> 00:11:15,318
You know?
314
00:11:15,386 --> 00:11:18,221
Just getting right back on that horse.
315
00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:19,789
Even if that horse is crazy
316
00:11:19,857 --> 00:11:22,525
And want to peer inside my body.
317
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:24,727
How does that feel?
318
00:11:24,794 --> 00:11:25,894
Uh, weird.
319
00:11:25,962 --> 00:11:27,029
Perfect.
320
00:11:27,096 --> 00:11:29,765
Oh, you're not on your period, are you?
321
00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,234
No. Does that matter?
322
00:11:31,302 --> 00:11:33,670
Well, not for this.
323
00:11:33,738 --> 00:11:36,340
Okay, it's gonna be a
little cramped in there.
324
00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:38,576
Don't worry, I'll be right on
the other side of that glass.
325
00:11:40,246 --> 00:11:41,880
Just your basic assistant stuff.
326
00:11:41,948 --> 00:11:43,580
Taking messages, wakeup calls.
327
00:11:43,648 --> 00:11:46,048
Muscle milk runs, condom runs,
328
00:11:46,115 --> 00:11:47,582
Bottle service to the snakehole lounge.
329
00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:48,883
That kind of stuff.
330
00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:49,951
Sorry, what do I get out of this?
331
00:11:50,018 --> 00:11:52,286
Connections. Plus 19 grand a year.
332
00:11:52,353 --> 00:11:55,254
Minus my 10% headhunter's fee.
333
00:11:55,322 --> 00:11:57,155
I have to pay you two
grand if I get hired?
334
00:11:57,223 --> 00:11:58,523
I have a job to offer.
335
00:11:58,591 --> 00:12:00,891
In the immortal words of rob blagojevich,
336
00:12:00,959 --> 00:12:02,659
It's a valuable thing.
337
00:12:02,727 --> 00:12:04,460
You just don't give it away for nothing.
338
00:12:04,528 --> 00:12:07,095
So you never told me where you're from.
339
00:12:07,163 --> 00:12:09,864
- I'm from pawnee.
- Keep still, please.
340
00:12:09,932 --> 00:12:11,265
What kind of music do you like?
341
00:12:11,332 --> 00:12:12,699
Can I answer that?
342
00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:14,033
Sure. Keep still.
343
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,734
All kinds.
344
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:16,968
It's very important
345
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,203
That you keep still at this moment, leslie.
346
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,938
I've told you that 1,000 times.
347
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,040
Did you ever break your arm?
348
00:12:24,107 --> 00:12:26,308
You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.
349
00:12:26,375 --> 00:12:27,708
One time, I was on my bike,
350
00:12:27,776 --> 00:12:28,909
And some boys were making fun of me.
351
00:12:28,977 --> 00:12:30,944
So I chased them and I lost control.
352
00:12:31,012 --> 00:12:33,245
I'm surprised you can see that.
353
00:12:33,313 --> 00:12:34,813
It was like three years ago.
354
00:12:34,881 --> 00:12:37,815
I can't believe I turned
the machine off for that.
355
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,551
You never had any kids, right, leslie?
356
00:12:40,618 --> 00:12:42,653
- No.
- You should.
357
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,288
You've got a great oven.
358
00:12:44,356 --> 00:12:45,590
Okay...Time to go.
359
00:12:45,658 --> 00:12:47,325
You've got ample room in there.
360
00:12:47,393 --> 00:12:49,427
Honestly, if you wanted to,
361
00:12:49,495 --> 00:12:52,296
You could go triplets
right off the bat, leslie.
362
00:12:52,364 --> 00:12:55,599
You got a big, industrial-sized oven.
363
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:57,134
So we're done, right?
364
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,642
Hey, how's the date going?
365
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:05,114
Good. We just finished the mri.
366
00:13:05,182 --> 00:13:06,516
What?
367
00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:07,851
Look, I know I said that I
wanted to get back out there,
368
00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:09,318
But this guy is nuts.
369
00:13:09,386 --> 00:13:10,419
I'm sorry, les.
370
00:13:10,487 --> 00:13:12,221
I'll find you somebody else, okay?
371
00:13:12,288 --> 00:13:13,955
Just don't let this sour you on dating.
372
00:13:14,023 --> 00:13:15,490
Yeah, okay.
373
00:13:15,558 --> 00:13:17,827
Hey, no cell phones!
374
00:13:17,894 --> 00:13:20,166
what was that about?
375
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,835
I set leslie up on a date.
376
00:13:21,903 --> 00:13:23,670
I don't think it's going that well.
377
00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:25,939
Oh, no. With, uh, with justin?
378
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:28,375
Oh, no, this guy I know from the hospital.
379
00:13:28,443 --> 00:13:30,310
Why not justin?
380
00:13:30,378 --> 00:13:32,679
I don't really see them together.
381
00:13:32,747 --> 00:13:33,880
You know?
382
00:13:33,948 --> 00:13:35,549
Plus, leslie just got out of a relationship,
383
00:13:35,616 --> 00:13:38,118
So I didn't want justin
to be like her rebound guy
384
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,819
Or anything, you know?
385
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,187
Yeah, that makes sense.
386
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,990
Leslie is a notoriously cruel
and thoughtless person.
387
00:13:44,058 --> 00:13:45,058
Why are we talking about this?
388
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,059
We're not.
389
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,796
You got a large brain.
390
00:13:49,864 --> 00:13:51,131
Thank you.
391
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,066
Yeah. No, it looks pretty...
392
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,802
Hang on.
393
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:56,836
That's weird.
394
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,071
What? What's weird?
395
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,572
Your brain.
396
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,139
You see that shadow right there?
397
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,274
What--is that bad?
398
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,708
I don't know, I'd have a doctor
399
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,643
Look at that immediately, if I were you.
400
00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:07,913
Are you serious?
401
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:11,216
Oh, wait.
402
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,384
Oh.
403
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:15,619
It was like a smudge or something.
404
00:14:15,686 --> 00:14:17,452
Crazy.
405
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,686
Thank god I was here.
406
00:14:18,754 --> 00:14:19,988
Mark, I've never gone out with him!
407
00:14:20,055 --> 00:14:21,322
I swear!
408
00:14:21,390 --> 00:14:22,623
I'm sorry, but there's
just something weird
409
00:14:22,691 --> 00:14:24,257
About the way you talk about him.
410
00:14:24,325 --> 00:14:26,326
I don't know, I mean,
there was definitely times
411
00:14:26,393 --> 00:14:29,328
When we thought maybe we
would go out someday, but--
412
00:14:29,396 --> 00:14:30,596
That's why you didn't set leslie up,
413
00:14:30,664 --> 00:14:31,830
Because you're saving him.
414
00:14:31,898 --> 00:14:32,831
No, I'm not.
415
00:14:32,899 --> 00:14:34,399
Oh, yeah, you are.
416
00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:36,668
Okay, fine, you don't
have someone in your life
417
00:14:36,736 --> 00:14:38,403
That you think, "I don't know,
418
00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:40,938
Maybe if things were different,
maybe someday--"
419
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,039
You know what?
420
00:14:42,106 --> 00:14:43,407
You can't save somebody for the future
421
00:14:43,474 --> 00:14:44,908
While you're in a relationship.
422
00:14:44,976 --> 00:14:46,109
Even I know that.
423
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,477
Come on, don't go.
424
00:14:47,545 --> 00:14:48,745
I'll talk to you later.
425
00:14:48,813 --> 00:14:50,613
And, by the way,
426
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,582
The dog dies at the end.
427
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:55,516
So did you want to go
back to your place or--
428
00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:57,751
Actually, chris, it was nice to meet you,
429
00:14:57,819 --> 00:14:59,887
But I think this is gonna be our last date.
430
00:14:59,955 --> 00:15:01,588
I get it.
431
00:15:01,656 --> 00:15:04,058
You get your mri and get out, huh?
432
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:05,292
This was your idea.
433
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,727
Clever lady.
434
00:15:06,794 --> 00:15:09,296
Guess I'm not as good a
tech as I thought I was.
435
00:15:09,363 --> 00:15:11,264
Should have noticed that
you're missing a heart.
436
00:15:11,332 --> 00:15:12,632
Ew.
437
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,468
- Good
-bye, leslie.
438
00:15:18,673 --> 00:15:20,207
Right.
439
00:15:20,274 --> 00:15:21,541
I drove us here.
440
00:15:21,609 --> 00:15:22,809
Goody.
441
00:15:22,877 --> 00:15:24,477
Do you mind if we pick up my son nate
442
00:15:24,545 --> 00:15:26,680
At his basketball game on the way back?
443
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,005
Wow, this is really good.
444
00:15:31,602 --> 00:15:33,436
"cease and desist; burden of proof"?
445
00:15:33,503 --> 00:15:34,836
Check out paragraph two,
446
00:15:34,904 --> 00:15:36,104
Where I dropped the f-bomb.
447
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,854
"frivolous."
448
00:15:38,922 --> 00:15:40,780
Definitely have the city
attorney look at that.
449
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:42,981
But that should be enough to do the trick.
450
00:15:43,048 --> 00:15:45,516
- Well, justin, I just-
- I can't thank you enough.
451
00:15:45,584 --> 00:15:46,584
It's my pleasure.
452
00:15:46,651 --> 00:15:48,318
Maybe I will see you around sometime.
453
00:15:48,386 --> 00:15:49,719
Yeah, I...
454
00:15:49,787 --> 00:15:51,388
I would li--would lo-- mm-hmm.
455
00:15:51,455 --> 00:15:53,189
- I'll see you.
- Okay.
456
00:15:53,257 --> 00:15:54,590
- Bye.
- Bye!
457
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,529
Damn, he is all right.
458
00:16:01,597 --> 00:16:04,031
Why don't you hit that?
459
00:16:04,099 --> 00:16:07,366
Well, frankly, I would like to hit that.
460
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,536
But ann's being a little weird about it.
461
00:16:10,604 --> 00:16:11,903
When you were dating ann,
462
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,771
Did you know this guy justin?
463
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:15,172
Uck! Justin?
464
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,540
I hate justin.
465
00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:18,576
Ann was so obviously into him.
It was so annoying.
466
00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:20,011
Right.
467
00:16:20,078 --> 00:16:21,579
I would say, in terms of
guys that she's in love with,
468
00:16:21,646 --> 00:16:22,679
Justin's up here.
469
00:16:22,747 --> 00:16:24,881
I'm up here,
470
00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:26,349
And then you're down here.
471
00:16:26,416 --> 00:16:29,051
Well, I just wanted to make
sure that I wasn't crazy.
472
00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:32,722
So naturally, I came to you for reassurance.
473
00:16:32,789 --> 00:16:33,956
Do me a favor--
474
00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:36,192
Don't tell ann that we talked about this.
475
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:37,693
Will do.
476
00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:38,794
Ann perkins,
477
00:16:38,862 --> 00:16:41,298
You should be ashamed of yourself.
478
00:16:41,366 --> 00:16:43,033
What you're doing to mark is not cool.
479
00:16:43,101 --> 00:16:44,935
Why are you guys talking to each other?
480
00:16:45,002 --> 00:16:46,136
You know what? Forget it.
481
00:16:46,204 --> 00:16:47,570
I'm not getting into this with you.
482
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:48,938
- You did something wrong?
- No!
483
00:16:49,006 --> 00:16:51,240
- Yeah.
- I didn't do anything wrong!
484
00:16:51,308 --> 00:16:54,077
Come here. This is none of your business.
485
00:16:54,144 --> 00:16:55,311
You don't know what you're talking about.
486
00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:57,480
Actually, I do know
what I'm talking about.
487
00:16:57,548 --> 00:16:59,916
Every time I used to sit
around all afternoon
488
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:01,985
Playing video games,
wearing only my slippers,
489
00:17:02,053 --> 00:17:04,721
All of a sudden, I would start
to feel bad about myself.
490
00:17:04,788 --> 00:17:06,489
And do you know why?
491
00:17:06,557 --> 00:17:07,958
Didn't you just explain why?
492
00:17:08,025 --> 00:17:09,958
I would feel bad about myself
493
00:17:10,026 --> 00:17:12,494
Because I would start to
think about this perfect guy.
494
00:17:12,562 --> 00:17:14,563
Any time you would talk about justin,
495
00:17:14,631 --> 00:17:16,932
I didn't feel very important.
496
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,467
That was rough.
497
00:17:18,535 --> 00:17:20,336
Well, I didn't know that.
498
00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:22,305
Maybe if you had, I wouldn't have left.
499
00:17:22,372 --> 00:17:25,708
But you do know now, so you have to choose.
500
00:17:25,776 --> 00:17:27,243
It's either me or justin.
501
00:17:27,311 --> 00:17:28,711
I'm not gonna choose.
502
00:17:28,779 --> 00:17:30,113
Wait, I'm dating mark!
503
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:31,181
- Are you, though?
- Yes!
504
00:17:31,248 --> 00:17:32,949
Ah! That close.
505
00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:34,517
Ronald...
506
00:17:34,585 --> 00:17:35,784
I've done it.
507
00:17:35,852 --> 00:17:38,319
I found your assistant, and he's dope.
508
00:17:38,387 --> 00:17:40,454
His name is jean-ralphio.
509
00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:41,487
Jean-ralphio!
510
00:17:41,555 --> 00:17:43,156
Big "t."
511
00:17:43,223 --> 00:17:44,891
Mr. Swanson, two things.
512
00:17:44,958 --> 00:17:48,194
One, it is an absolute honor to meet you.
513
00:17:48,262 --> 00:17:50,396
Two, who is that hot intern chick out there?
514
00:17:50,464 --> 00:17:54,100
Because, honestly, daaaamn!
515
00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:55,968
uh, take a seat.
516
00:17:56,036 --> 00:17:57,403
- Right here.
- Here we go.
517
00:17:57,471 --> 00:17:59,305
- So, jean
-ralphio...
518
00:17:59,373 --> 00:18:00,440
You got him right here.
519
00:18:00,508 --> 00:18:01,908
Leave a message after the beep.
520
00:18:01,975 --> 00:18:04,276
Why do I want you as my assistant?
521
00:18:04,343 --> 00:18:06,945
For starters, access to the illest clubs.
522
00:18:07,012 --> 00:18:08,246
And that's just for starters.
523
00:18:08,314 --> 00:18:10,582
I will work for you. I will be on you, 24/7.
524
00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:11,816
I'll be like your family.
525
00:18:11,884 --> 00:18:13,350
I'm here when you get here in the morning.
526
00:18:13,418 --> 00:18:14,984
Sure enough, I'll be there
tucking you into bed at night.
527
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,920
Don't worry, it's not gay.
Do we have questions?
528
00:18:18,989 --> 00:18:20,956
I think our only question
is when can you start?
529
00:18:21,024 --> 00:18:22,325
Right now. Let's do it.
530
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,626
Thank you for coming in.
531
00:18:24,694 --> 00:18:25,994
We will talk.
532
00:18:26,062 --> 00:18:27,863
Cool. I feel good about this.
533
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:29,798
Hey, you know, you can hit
me up on facebook any time,
534
00:18:29,866 --> 00:18:30,966
Day or night-- you know that, right?
535
00:18:31,034 --> 00:18:33,067
- Take care, buddy.
- Boom.
536
00:18:33,135 --> 00:18:35,236
So what do you think
of your new assistant?
537
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:38,273
I wanna punch you in the
face so bad right now.
538
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,941
What?
539
00:18:40,009 --> 00:18:41,576
Okay.
540
00:18:41,644 --> 00:18:43,444
Message received. I'll keep looking.
541
00:18:43,512 --> 00:18:44,579
Thank you.
542
00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:46,547
Bring me the opposite of him.
543
00:18:48,417 --> 00:18:49,450
What kind of music is this?
544
00:18:49,518 --> 00:18:51,252
It's rock and roll, my friend.
545
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,322
Fast, smooth, handsome rock.
546
00:18:54,389 --> 00:18:56,223
That band is really blowing up right now.
547
00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:58,025
They're number one on itunes.
548
00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,793
Okay, I'll take one.
549
00:19:03,731 --> 00:19:04,965
There's your change.
550
00:19:06,935 --> 00:19:08,770
You are amazing.
551
00:19:08,838 --> 00:19:11,473
I like when you hang out here.
552
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:15,375
I want to be your assistant.
553
00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:16,676
Really?
554
00:19:16,744 --> 00:19:17,944
You hate it here.
555
00:19:18,012 --> 00:19:19,880
So do you.
556
00:19:19,948 --> 00:19:22,017
I'll make sure you don't
have to go to any meetings.
557
00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:23,885
If anyone comes to see you,
558
00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:24,919
I'll scare them away.
559
00:19:24,987 --> 00:19:26,254
Wait, April.
560
00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:28,022
If you had to choose
between these two ties...
561
00:19:30,158 --> 00:19:31,091
You're hired.
562
00:19:31,158 --> 00:19:33,228
I just figured
563
00:19:33,295 --> 00:19:35,997
I might as well get paid for being here.
564
00:19:37,599 --> 00:19:39,934
- Hi.
- Hey, I was just calling you.
565
00:19:40,002 --> 00:19:42,036
Here.
566
00:19:43,973 --> 00:19:45,706
This is a prescription for denise dogan.
567
00:19:45,774 --> 00:19:47,875
Oh, my god, I'm sorry.
568
00:19:47,943 --> 00:19:50,411
I'm so out of sorts.
569
00:19:50,479 --> 00:19:52,047
Here.
570
00:19:52,114 --> 00:19:53,514
Porter's grill at 7:00.
571
00:19:53,582 --> 00:19:54,749
Justin's gonna meet you there.
572
00:19:54,817 --> 00:19:57,251
I'm sorry chris was such a jerk.
573
00:19:57,319 --> 00:19:58,820
You deserve way better than that.
574
00:19:58,888 --> 00:20:00,956
If this situation is weird,
or if you feel weird--
575
00:20:01,024 --> 00:20:02,257
It's not weird.
576
00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:03,725
You guys will really like each other.
577
00:20:03,793 --> 00:20:05,328
- Thanks.
- I gotta run.
578
00:20:05,396 --> 00:20:06,830
I have another stop on the prid
e-swallowing tour
579
00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:07,931
Of city hall.
580
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,066
Go get 'em.
581
00:20:09,134 --> 00:20:10,767
That's where I never find things.
582
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:11,968
Hey.
583
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,303
Hi, ann.
584
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:16,904
So I just set up justin and leslie.
585
00:20:16,972 --> 00:20:18,837
And I'm sorry.
586
00:20:18,905 --> 00:20:21,872
I rented district 9
587
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:25,175
If you maybe wanted to
spoil that for me tonight.
588
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,480
Oh, my god!
589
00:20:30,548 --> 00:20:32,015
Dark ending, right.
590
00:20:35,052 --> 00:20:36,519
I'm back on the horse.
591
00:20:36,587 --> 00:20:38,821
And this horse is a lawyer,
592
00:20:38,889 --> 00:20:42,892
So I'm looking forward to riding him.
593
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,126
No, wait.
594
00:20:45,315 --> 00:20:47,479
Ten months ago, she was an intern
595
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:50,147
Who could give a c-r-
a-p about local government.
596
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:52,516
Now, she's our newest employee.
597
00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:53,684
To April.
598
00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:54,884
Cheers!
599
00:20:54,952 --> 00:20:56,052
yay.
600
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,987
Jerry, come and celebrate.
601
00:20:58,054 --> 00:20:59,121
No, thanks.
602
00:20:59,189 --> 00:21:00,222
Well, everybody,
603
00:21:00,289 --> 00:21:01,589
Let's get back to work.
604
00:21:04,993 --> 00:21:06,259
Where are you going?
605
00:21:06,327 --> 00:21:09,229
I want to talk to ron
about the size of my desk.
606
00:21:09,297 --> 00:21:10,263
Jerry...
607
00:21:10,331 --> 00:21:12,765
You have to schedule an appointment.
608
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:14,533
Okay, how about now?
609
00:21:14,601 --> 00:21:16,301
- Ron's not here.
- He's right there.
610
00:21:16,369 --> 00:21:17,835
I-I can see him.
611
00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:20,605
I'll let you know when he's available.
612
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,009
Atta girl.
613
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:36,376
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net